6 comments MMQB Review: The Most Interesting Trade Ever (For This Week) Edition: The Sequel

There is always something to look forward to on a Monday morning and that's knowing Peter King is writing his MMQB. That means we get to see what menial problem is really irritating Peter this week or whether he thinks Sean Taylor is one underachieving son of a bitch. What's Peter up to this week? Will have discuss Brett Favre's new grandchild? What does Deanna think about the new grandchild? Is there someone at a Starbucks talking loudly on a cell phone while Peter is innocently pecking away at his laptop keyboard? More importantly, why is Peter the only person who gets his perfect existence disrupted like this?

Actually, another NFL trade happened and Santonio Holmes was sent to the Jets for a 5th round pick. Of course Peter didn't break the story, he never does, but he did ReTweet it, which I am sure makes SI.com especially proud Peter can repeat a story he just heard.

RT @ProFootballTalk: Santonio Holmes traded to the Jets! Story coming at PFT ... Florio's right. Story confirmed. Holmes to Jets.

about 8 hours ago via TweetDeck

I get that Peter can't break every story, but is there a story he can break? Other than anyone involving Brett Favre...which he really doesn't break either? I know I always talk about this, but is he just a guy who knows a lot of NFL people and writes about the NFL? He's not a bad guy, but he just seems to write stories about players and games. Does he just write about football and find out how things happen after the fact through the very same connections he has that don't make him connected enough to break a story? I just get confused. Maybe I am too hard on him. Oh well, on to MMQB.

Now this is redonkulous.

Welcome to 2005, Peter King. We trust you will find everything as you like for your stay here over the next 10 years.

Donovan McNabb from Philadelphia to the Redskins at 8 p.m. last Sunday. Santonio Holmes from Pittsburgh to the Jets at 11:15 this Sunday night.

How dare these teams conduct business while Peter King attempts to watch "Family Guy" for it's dead-on humor about nothing and while he is trying to cram last minute information into his MMQB. He's only human people!

The state of Pennsylvania obviously has no respect for the offseason sleep habits of Mr. Monday Morning QB.

If only Peter got paid handsomely to talk about stories that happened in sports this would all be worth it...if only that could happen.

Holmes to the Jets. A 26-year-old Super Bowl MVP traded for a fifth-round pick. A healthy star receiver coming off a 1,248-yard season, for the 151st overall choice in the draft.

I think Holmes is a turd, but I would trade a 5th round pick for Holmes every single day of the week. This was a great trade for Holmes. He is a better receiver than Braylon Edwards has been and they got him for 1/2 the price.

The downside? Sure, he may be suspended for four games and he tends to run into problems with the law and seems to have some other issues, and New York isn't exactly a place to get away from these problems. Still, I love this trade for the Jets and it almost makes up for the fact they have the corpse of LaDainian Tomlinson on the roster (Of course all Tomlinson needs is a great fullback, a great offensive line and a team willing to hand the ball off 25 times a game for 3.4 yard gains and he would be a star again...so don't look for a bounceback year from him).

Six quick points about a deal almost as stunning as the McNabb trade:

Almost as stunning as the McNabb trade. It goes in this order on the "stunning" scale:

Donovan McNabb trade
Santonio Holmes trade
Tim Tebow's sparkling personality and incomprehensibly perfect abs

1. It's a 12-game trial for New York. It's a great deal for the Jets, obviously, but it comes with a giant asterisk. Profootballtalk.com reports Holmes is due to start the season on a four-game NFL suspension for violation of the league's substance-abuse policy.

Oh no. He may miss 4 games! They gave up a 5th round pick for him, that's nothing. Of course, if Holmes gets suspended even more games then the Jets are screwed and may lose him for the year or something to that effect. On the bright side, they can get rid of Edwards after this season (I believe he is a free agent), assuming football is still being played and there isn't a lockout, so they could pay Holmes over Edwards.

He's also been accused of assaulting a woman in Florida for allegedly throwing a glass of juice in her face and cutting her. Since this is the last year of Holmes' rookie contract, the Steelers are trading three-quarters of Holmes' 2010 season for a fifth-round pick, which makes a little more sense.

On a different note, Rex Ryan doesn't give a shit about team chemistry does he? He has Braylon Edwards who is a 1,500 yard receiver in his head, Tomlinson who is a 1,000 rusher in his dreams, and Holmes who can't stay away from banned substances and think orange juice looks good on a woman's face and that glass can't break. I also forgot Antonio Cromartie who must think the world is ending and he is the last person alive so he must singlehandedly repopulate the Earth.

In the meantime, the Steelers, I believe, are saying to Roethlisberger: You have two strikes on you, and you're out if you get another strike. This is a decision of conscience for Pittsburgh, not a football decision.

I wrote an article just last week saying Goodell doesn't have a double standard, and I still believe that. The Steelers do though. I don't believe if Roethlisberger ever got another strike that wasn't severe, the Steelers would ever get rid of him. I think the 3rd strike would have to be another sexual assault or something like that for the Steelers to get rid of him. Trading a wide receiver is much different from trading a quarterback. Maybe the Steelers would do it, but I think the 3rd strike will have to be fairly severe.

Now, it's possible the Jets have too many at-risk players.

Possible? It's highly likely. It's getting to be like the East Coast version of the JailBlazers in New York.

A four-game suspension for substance-abuse means Holmes is one positive test away from a year out of football. Fellow Jet wideout Braylon Edwards could be facing a one-game ban for pleading no contest to misdemeanor aggravated disorderly conduct. The Jets previously dealt for talented but troubled Antonio Cromartie (seven children in five states), who the Chargers were determined to unload this offseason.

I don't believe in team chemistry quite as much as a guy like Bill Simmons does, but it counts for something. I think the Jets are taking a real risk with this many questionable characters on one team in the biggest media city in the United States.

Ryan's throwing a party this morning, and when Holmes walks into the Jets' complex in Florham Park, N.J.,

Hopefully Santonio Holmes isn't at this party using NFL banned substances that would give him a year out of football.

5. In retrospect, maybe we saw this coming.

In retrospect, Peter sees everything coming. He can't break a story like this to save his damn life, but if you need retrospective analysis and reasons why everyone SHOULD have seen this coming...Peter King is your man.

6. Jets-Steelers, in Pittsburgh, is more must-see TV for the NFL this fall. The schedule-maker is kind. We can only hope the game is in the last 13 weeks of the season, so Holmes will be there to face the team he helped get that sixth ring.

Is Peter going to say this shit every time a trade is made involving teams in his vicinity? I don't care about Santonio Holmes playing against the team that traded him. I really don't, why should anyone else who isn't a Steelers or Jets fan care?

With any luck, they'll sign all-decade player Jason Taylor to be a designated pass-rusher by Wednesday. And with all the additions, they've retained their first- and second-round picks, 29th and 61st overall. If they don't implode, they're going to a damn good team.

They still have Mark Sanchez at quarterback (who may improve, but we have to see it first), Tomlinson thinks he is still a good player, Shonn Greene hasn't shown he can be a feature back, and I still have questions about the passing game. They aren't perfect and I will be interested to see if they can repeat their 2009 season for 2010.

Favre succeeded by ... Tebow?

Said the headline of the newspaper in Hell.

The Vikings, who pick 30th in the first round, had a private workout with Florida quarterback/NFL temptor Tim Tebow Saturday. Though I think it's a long shot that Minnesota would use the 30th pick of the first round to take Tebow, it's interesting that coach Brad Childress and VP of personnel Rick Spielman, who have the draft-day juice, were both present for the workout, according to a Florida source.

I used to kid that Matt Ryan or Mark Sanchez will be the successor for Peter's. I was wrong. It's Tim Tebow. I actually hope Tebow fails just so I don't have to hear about how great he is for the next 15 years. He's a good guy, but holy crap, I am tired of hearing about him already and he hasn't even been drafted yet.

By the way, Tebow was in Cleveland and Washington last week, and he visits Denver this week. I hear the Cleveland coaches were very taken with him, and if he's there when they pick in round two (number 38 overall), or they trade down from number 7 in the first round, well, who knows?

I need to be updated on where Tim Tebow is every minute of every day. Keep the updates coming Peter.

Actually, please don't keep them coming. I need to figure out a code word or something to call Tebow so I don't have to type his name 1,877,821 times over the next 15 years.

And Dez Bryant's in demand. That was going to be my story of the day. "In my 24 years in the business,'' his agent, Eugene Parker, said Saturday, "I've never seen so many teams so interested in finding out everything about a player.''

This isn't always a good thing. This is typical agent talk to trump up his client, but really teams want to know if Dez Bryant is the next Randy Moss in playing ability or is the next Randy Moss when it comes to having a bad attitude and being a bad apple. Bryant is in demand because he lied to the NCAA last year and has shown turd-like abilities before that. So teams want to talk to him not simply because he is supposed to be such a great receiver, though I am sure that is part of it.

NFL teams will have a tough call on Tim Tebow. The call might be tougher on Bryant. Teams wonder about his character after he lied to the NCAA about having dinner with Deion Sanders and was suspended for 10 games last season. (An idiotic sanction. Too severe if you ask me. But Bryant did get caught in a lie.)

Yes, it was an overly severe sanction, but he lied to the NCAA. You just can't do that. I would feel better with this sanction if schools like USC would actually get sanctioned for lying and their violations to the point it actually deterred them from doing it again. Only players get punished, but you can't lie to the NCAA.

I wish Dez Bryant would give his account of why he lied to Peter so I could pick it apart and show that Peter will believe anything.

When Bryant meets with teams, the questions invariably are the same. They're about his suspension, his relationship with Sanders, who are the biggest influences in his life, and whether he'll be myopically devoted to football. He's a receiver with top-five-in-the-draft talent, who might get picked in the second half of the first round because teams see too many red flags.

I don't know if Dez Bryant has top-five talent personally. I think he is talented, but I have watched a lot of his games and I don't know if he is a Top 5 talent or not. I would have taken Michael Crabtree (and the Crabtree Curse) over him last year and would probably do the same this year.

I think Bryant might be turning a corner in these meetings. He admits his mistakes. He doesn't blame the NCAA. He doesn't blame his upbringing. It may be well-rehearsed, but if it is, he sounds sincere and hasn't had a hiccup.

There is a shock, Peter believes what Bryant is saying and thinks he has turned a corner. Peter believes anything.

Roy Williams has disappointed the Cowboys terribly. The Bengals have no legit complement to Chad Ochocinco. The Broncos are still looking to trade Brandon Marshall and will need a field-stretcher to play opposite Eddie Royal. New England needs the next Randy Moss, and receiver depth. That'd be an interesting fit -- Moss mentoring Bryant. He could tell the kid about how he slid low in the first round because of off-field issues in high school and college.

Advice Moss can give: "Here's how you run over a police officer with your car. Here's how you quit on your team in the middle of a game."

"On TV all these years, I never saw Bill Belichick smile,'' Bryant said. "But we had a great conversation, and he was smiling a lot. I really liked it there. I think I'd be a good fit there.''

Well of course he would be a good fit in New England. Is there a player in the NFL that wouldn't be a good fit in New England? It's the perfect team with the perfect quarterback with the perfect fans. Only New England is smart enough to take Dez Bryant and Tim Tebow. No other teams are smart enough to do this. Then they can trade Tom Brady for 19 1st round picks and they will have a fucking dynasty with Tebow as Montana and Bryant as Rice. Count on it happening.

"You don't have to be Mr. Loudest Guy in the Room. That's not ever going to be Sam. He's not going to be on 'SportsCenter' screaming at the top of his lungs. But that doesn't mean he's not going to get after you if you're not doing your job. He was well-respected in our locker room, and that wasn't just some transformation that happened in the last month or so either.''

-- Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops on Sam Bradford, in the excellent Bradford profile by Bryan Burwell of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch Sunday.

I really, really wish I could have seen Bradford play against the Nebraska defense this year. There weren't a lot of great defenses in the Big 12 and Colt McCoy struggled against the Nebraska defense and I wonder how Bradford would have done. I can't help but wonder if the big numbers Bradford and McCoy put up are a result of weak Big 12 defenses.

You think it's tough to pick a quarterback out of college football who will succeed in the NFL? I say it's harder to pick a pass-rusher. And when I talk to coaches and personnel people around the league, it's maddening to them to try to figure out if Derrick Morgan or Jason Pierre-Paul --or maybe Sergio Kindle, if he goes to a 4-3 team and plays end -- will be productive rushing the quarterback.

Here goes Peter doing something he has done at least once before, which is list all the "bust" pass-rushers from this past year's draft. Like all these players should come into the NFL in one year and get 14 sacks.

Defensive Proficiency For 2009 Draft Picks

Player	Team	'09 Overall Pick	Games	Sacks
*Tyson Jackson	Chiefs	3	16	0
Aaron Maybin	Bills	11	16	0
Larry English	Chargers	16	16	2
Robert Ayers	Broncos	18	15	0
Everette Brown	Panthers	43	15	2.5
Connor Barwin	Texans	46	16	4.5
Paul Kruger	Ravens	57	9	0
**Cody Brown	Cardinals	--	--	--
--	--	--	Total: 103	9

I'm tired of this shit. Many of these players were either backups this year or were changing positions. The increase in teams going to a 3-4 defense and the movement of college DE's to OLB in a 3-4 defense contribute to the slower learning curve for some of these players.

* Jackson, a 3-4 defensive end, is not expected to be a pass-rushing end in the Chiefs' scheme. Most 3-4 ends are asked to be run-stuffers and a player who clears the way for outside linebackers to make plays.
** Spent season on IR with a bad wrist

Jackson isn't going to rush the passer so I don't know even know why he is on the list, Maybin and Ayers were learning new positions, Barwin actually had a decent year for a rookie, and Brown was injured all year. I have no excuse for Paul Kruger other than the Ravens have a great defense already and he only played in nine games. It's a bit early to call these guys underachievers.

Larry English is behind Merriman and was drafted to be his replacement. When he ends up with 8+ sacks this year, don't say I didn't warn you. Everette Brown was the 4th string defensive end in Carolina and I am not being a homer when I tell you he will have 8+ sacks this year as well. He sat behind one of the best defensive ends in football, Julius Peppers. It's hard to play as a rookie with Peppers in front of you.

Admittedly, this is no exact science. But the Bills and Broncos didn't draft Maybin and Ayers to see them take the field 31 times and never sack the passer.

They may be busts for now, but Peter can't ignore the position change and the fact some of these players came out of college a year early to play in the NFL. It's like he expects these guys to have 10 sacks their 1st year in the NFL.

Baseball Factoid of the Week That May Interest Only Me

The Joe West umpiring crew made some headlines during the week, with veteran ump West telling TheRecord (Bergen, N.J.) that the Red Sox and Yankees took too long to play baseball. He said it was "pathetic and embarrassing'' that the two teams evaded the measures put in play by major league baseball to shorten the game.

For me, I just want the game to move fast and those Yankees-Red Sox games are just so slow. Actually, I feel like all Yankees games are slow moving.

Time of the three Red Sox-Yankees games: 3:46 (West at the plate), 3:48, 3:21.

Time of the three Jays-Orioles games: 2:54, 2:24 (West at the plate), 2:22.

This is easily the most frustrating part of baseball for me. I don't need baseball to go at a light speed pace, but some pitchers (Andy Pettitte) takes a year to throw one pitch if there is a runner on base. It needs to speed up a bit.

Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week

Commuting on the East Coast is fun. I mean, really -- it's fun. On Friday, I had an SI World Cup meeting (yes, I'm covering the group stage of it in June in South Africa) at a restaurant inside Citi Field at the Mets-Nats game. Left my Boston apartment at 11:50 for the 12:20 Acela to Manhattan. Arrived at 3:45 at Penn Station in Manhattan. Walked a few blocks to get on the 7 express train to Citi Field. Arrived at 4:40. Met with Team SI (Mark Mravic, Grant Wahl, Mark Bechtel) for 90 minutes, out-drank all but Mravic, listened to Wahl warn me about no Starbucks in Johannesburg, froze at the ballgame for four or five innings, got in a cab to JFK at 9:10 p.m., took the 10:40 p.m. JetBlue flight to Boston, was back in the apartment at 12:05. Door to door, with all that in between, in 12 hours and 15 minutes. Can't beat that.

Dandy. Isn't Peter's life just a shitload of fun. Only on the East Coast of the United States can you get transportation like that. On the West Coast and in other parts of the world you have to take donkeys from city to city and the only way you can get a message out to the rest of the world is by carrier pigeon.

1. I think the trade that should happen is Baltimore signing left tackle Jared Gaither to an offer sheet and trading him to Dallas for a second-round pick. Am I sure the Ravens would do it? No, but I think it has a heck of a chance of passing muster, and I think Baltimore realizes it'd be a smart deal.

This has little to do with Gaither's ability; he's a top-12 NFL left tackle, he's young (24), with 28 starts already on his resume. But the Ravens aren't going to pay two players franchise-tackle money. Michael Oher will be the one to get the big bucks after being picked in the first round a year ago.

Why would the Ravens trade their effective left tackle so they can start a player who has never played left tackle in the NFL at left tackle? Why would the Ravens weaken their offensive line just so they can get more draft picks to replace the guy they just traded? This seems like a long term move that wouldn't make sense to me. They may not be able to re-sign Gaither, that's true. Why not keep Gaither, see what happens after the season with the lockout and worry about trading him then, rather than weaken the offensive line this year? It's not like good left tackles are just hanging on trees and we don't know if Oher can play left tackle in the NFL.

Why not keep Gaither for now? At best the Ravens have two great tackles under contract and at worst they lost Gaither for no compensation and then can slide Oher over to left tackle, which they would do anyway if they trade Gaither. Also, if Gaither is a top-12 left tackle, is a 2nd round pick enough compensation?

2. I think if you're a person of means, and you're a fan of good inside stories about a very good team and the league, and you care about good causes, I suggest you consider attending what I'm calling the New England Locker Room Luncheon at Davio's in Foxboro, Mass., from 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. on May 11.

I'm going to host this cozy affair with Patriots tackle Matt Light and wide receiver Julian Edelman and ESPNBoston's Mike Reiss, the Patriots beat man who formerly worked for the Boston Globe. We're selling 30 seats for $1,000 apiece, and for that grand you'll get your picture taken with Light and Edelman, autographs galore, and more than an hour of quality football talk. I'll MC a panel and wedge some inside stories about the Patriots' great run of the past and their prospects for another title in the future from two important pieces of it and the bright Reiss.

It must be exciting to be able to host a luncheon like this with players from your favorite team. I don't know if I want to attend anything that Peter is the "MC" of. Everyone get ready for Brett Favre stories!

5. I think the one thing most of us can agree on is Bradford one, Ndamukong Suh two, to the Lions, and Gerald McCoy three, to Tampa Bay.

Which means we probably won't get Bradford at one, Suh at two, and Gerald McCoy at three.

6. I think I believe Mike Shanahan is serious when he says he might take a quarterback very high. I don't see how he could get the quarterback he wants, Bradford -- he'd have to denude this draft and next year's to do so -- but he's sniffing around Tim Tebow an awful lot. Private workout in Gainesville, long visit in Virginia. The 'Skins are spending an awful lot of time on quarterbacks for a team that just traded for one who should play four more years.

I am sure it is not possible at all that the Skins are making sure they do all their research on the available quarterbacks to rule them out at possible draft picks either. Considering how difficult it is to find a franchise quarterback and how Shanahan likes "developing" quarterbacks, I am sure it is entirely possible the Redskins are just doing their homework and making sure there isn't a franchise quarterback in this draft before selecting for another position of greater need, like I don't know, the offensive line.

Isn't it possible the Skins are just ruling out players at a valuable position? Though at this point I think every single team has been linked to Tim Tebow, so I don't think there is actually anything we can learn from Peter saying a team met with Tebow. The only team not looking at Tebow at this point I think are Rams...and that's just because they like Bradford better.

For many of you who asked why the league just didn't make it a strict two-possession rule, I'll give you Competition Committee member Bill Polian's take on it: "I'm a two-possession opponent, and here's why. Defense is a part of football, and you need to earn that second possession by playing defense on the first. Two years ago, in San Diego, we lost the flip in overtime. Peyton Manning didn't get on the field that night because our defense couldn't stop San Diego from scoring a touchdown. I've got no beef with that. Under the new rule, we'd be incentivized to stop San Diego from scoring a touchdown and at least holding them to a field goal. One of the reasons I like the new rule is it's not a guarantee to possess; it's an opportunity to possess.''

"Any time my team loses on a rule I don't like in the NFL, I will work my hardest to make sure that rule gets overthrown and a new rule takes its place. I am still working on outlawing the onside kick. Also, the Combine is overrated."

9. I think if the Steelers didn't trade Holmes, there's a good chance the Steelers would have cut him. That might be hard to believe, but ace beat man Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette first raised the prospect that his days were numbered last week, and I believe him.

Maybe SI.com should hire Ed Bouchette to be their NFL insider. I think Peter believes he is actually doing his job well by telling us what other people correctly predicted.

a. The end is not going to be pretty for David Ortiz. It's coming.

That's what everyone said last year and the end did not come.

f. The Tiger Woods/Dad commercial is downright creepy. If Nike's goal was to make viewers emote, they hit a home run. It's the wrong emoting, though. It's not "Awwww.'' It's "Yecchhhhh.''

That's just a terrible advertising campaign in my mind. Nothing like taking a huge dump all over the memory of your father to help rehab your image I guess.

h. Watched "Julie and Julia'' for the second time over the weekend, and for the second time I was transfixed. What a movie. Meryl Streep's got to be the best actor/actress of our day.

I don't know what part of this I should make fun of more. The fact this is the 4th or 5th time Peter has talked about how great Meryl Streep is as an actress or he has watched "Julie and Julia" twice. Let's just say the Streep performance was good, but being transfixed is a bit much.

j. Coffeenerdness: Had a cup of that McDonald's coffee for a buck the other day, and it's damn good. Maybe I'm just an addict, and it was an any-port-in-the-storm moment, but I liked it.

But did the barista know how to serve the coffee correctly and was the right amount of sugar/cream in it? Why didn't they charge $4.50 for the coffee? Wouldn't that make the coffee taste better?

k. My prayers to the mining families in West Virginia. As a country, we should respect that industry more than I think we do.

I respect the mining industry. Part of my family is from West Virginia. Don't lump me into the group that doesn't respect the danger they put themselves in with the health problems they have and the difficulty of their job day in and day out. Maybe Peter doesn't respect the mining industry, but he shouldn't just assume others don't too.

l. Ditto to the people of Poland. That poor country, losing so many of its leaders in one plane crash. Amazed that a pilot could, apparently, have so much power over so many lives.

I see what Peter is saying...but is it really amazing that a pilot has that much power over so many lives? That's the entire job of the pilot, to fly the plane because if it crashes everyone will die. Pretty much anytime a plane takes off a pilot has this power over people's lives. I don't know if this is amazing, but more a fact of airline travel.

This is one of the reasons the United States doesn't put a bunch of their top leaders on the same plane at the same time. Planes unfortunately crash and the pilot has control over this.