Friday, April 4, 2008

0 comments Five Things I Think I Think Peter King Has Not Thought Of

1. Roy Williams wants it both ways and he can't. That makes him sad but Kansas is really hurt about him leaving. Here's how you mediate this bitch fight Dr. Phil style:

Roy- you went to UNC because that is where you are from and love the school a lot...just say it and quit fucking whining and bitching because you had to make a tough decision. Most decisions are tough and you did what you wanted to do when you wanted to do it, quit pretending it was heart wrenching. You wanted to go back to UNC and you did. Good, done.

Kansas- you are still hurt because Roy left you for a superior school. Seriously, nobody gives a shit or understands your whining because Kansas never won a title with Roy as the coach and it has always been obvious Roy was going to leave when UNC called. You should be happy Roy left so that you could try to get rid of the stigma that your school underachieves. If you spent less time on "I Hate Roy" shirts and more time thinking of ways to double team Tyler Hansbrough and not let the outside players of UNC beat you, maybe you would actually have a chance to win a championship. No one likes a cry baby. By the way, you are going to lose this weekend, start thinking of excuses now.

2. Brett Favre may unretire? So he retired because he did not want to play for a team that could win the championship and he is coming back to play for a shitty team? Why? Let's do this Jim Rome style.

Brett- you had one last good year in the league. Go home to your Mississippi mansion, mow some grass, and watch your kids grow up. Because the one thing that is more pathetic than watching a legend in a different uniform play, is watching a legend in a different uniform play poorly and destroy his legacy. You are a great quarterback and will always be considered one, stick with that and we will see you in Canton in 2013. Up next our new correspondent...(sorry, I put the Jim Rome voice in my head and it had a hard time leaving).

3. Bill Simmons has another mailbag up. I am not dissecting it but I will say, mailbags are great and all for the fans, but at some point you will have to write another column. Also, you are a sissy for not having comments available in your columns. Take some criticism, man.

4. http://www.insidesocal.com/tomhoffarth/archives/2008/04/strap_on_your_l.html

Rick Reilly at his best AND you get a sneak peek at what he is going to be like working for ESPN. Not everyone can write sappy, people oriented columns people!

My favorite part:

"It’s all over the map," Reilly says about sports journalism on the dot.com world. "There's some good journalism, and some really horrible crap on there from guys holding down the couch springs in their mother's basement that have never been in a lockerroom but are pining on this and that.

"On the other hand, you see the solid writers they have on ESPN.com, who check their facts, go places, see people ... People who are classically trained in journalism are harder to get used to (on the Internet). It's like, for some of these, the faster you type, the better you're supposed to be? It's like the old days of sending a Western Union telegram.

Yeah, checking facts, going places and seeing people...that is the classical training? So if I go to Boise, Idaho on a train (fuck airplanes, they are too fast and don't let you enjoy the ride) to cover the rodeo, research the bull and rider's history and interview Billy Bob Johnson about who his bull is going to mate with (Blue Manchu, of course), then I am a journalist who was trained in the classical ways. ESPN writers always check their facts, which is why Les Miles is at Michigan and Bill Parcells is the GM in Atlanta. Also, "the solid writers" at ESPN routinely steal their scoops from Internet sites such as Profootballtalk.com. I am talking to you Len Pastabelli. I am eager to hear more about the Rick Reilly Revolution at ESPN.

Did you know he chisels his articles out of stone and is not planning on posting his internet articles after that, but mailing them by Pony Express to ESPN headquarters?

5. It is funny because the common criticism of bloggers is that they are jealous of the mainstream media and just want the position to write for a major newspaper or network themselves so they criticize the mainstream media out of jealousy. I think the mainstream media is a little nervous because the Internet allows others to have a point of view that can not be controlled. They are for freedom of speech, but only on their terms. So to say the bloggers are jealous is fair only if you consider the possibility the mainstream media is jealous there may be more talented writers out there who chose not to become full time writers.

I am not among those talented non full time writers, but the attacks from people like Rick Reilly are hilarious for how much ignorance and fear you can sense in their voice about the changing medium of sportswriting.

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