1 comments King Peter King Speaks...

Being too lazy to write anything down yesterday, I decided to convert Peter King's crap-fest MMQB and TMQB into one craptastic post. He talks about Brett Favre a lot, which makes sense since he is not even playing this year.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/peter_king/04/27/mmqb.draft/3.html

Sometimes we try to turn things into Favreisms. Too many things. The best thing we all can do -- and this comes from someone who has majored in Favre-ology -- is just sit back and see what happens.

What is this "we" shit? No one gives a fuck what Brett Favre does but you Peter. NO ONE! The Packers now have 3 QB's under 30 on the roster. You should have minored in Packer-ology because that means, "we don't give a royal shit what Brett Favre does, we are moving on." I swear to God if I have to read his weekly updates on Brett Favre's mindset I am going to drive to Red Sox Nation and break Peter's computer.

1. I think you did the right thing by staying put, Jerry Jones, and not selling the farm for Darren McFadden.

Jerry Jones can now sleep tight down in Dallas and hug his blankie knowing that Peter King agrees with his draft decisions.

b. Why is the lead item on the ESPN scroll during the first hour of the predraft show about Brett Favre appearing on the cover of the Madden video game?

The same reason you have mentioned him three times in this article already. Obsession...

c. ESPN did not have a team of people covering the draft. It had an armada.

So ESPN had, "A large army or fleet of military vessels" covering the draft? I thought I would have noticed.

6. I think, if you gave him sodium pentathol, Chris Long would tell you he wishes he had gone to the Patriots, even if it would have cost him a lot of money to do so.

Oh yeah? I think, if you gave him $5, Darren McFadden would tell you he wishes he had gone to the Colts. So what? Why would a player not want to go to a team that is one of the best in the league? This does not make him more noble for understanding the difference in $15 million and $28 million or even being a nice guy, it means he wants to win football games, which is why you play the fucking sport. I swear to God if Peter King develops a man crush on Chris Long I am going to go to Red Sox Nation and break Peter's computer, and I am not kidding this time.

b. The Red Sox won the world championship because of their bullpen last year. This season they could lose it because of their bullpen.

No one cares. What is your fascination with the Red Sox other than the fact you love them and won't shut up? Is this article over yet? Why did I do another one?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/peter_king/04/29/mailbag/index.html

One of my very good friends, Corey Bowdre, is also one of the biggest Falcons fans I know. He knew I was in Atlanta for the draft and sent me this text message Monday: "Not very impressed.''

Now Peter King is talking about his friends like the ESPN guy who does not have a name so I don't have to put a label up using his name.

I called Corey, the senior manager of premium sales for the Red Sox, and heard him out. "

Here is my problem with this sentence. No one cares what the fuck Corey does Peter, and I literally mean no one, I texted Corey earlier today and he said his wife doesn't give a shit what he does. Why would you put his job title in the article if it did not add anything to the article? He doesn't work in the NFL, so his opinion somehow manages to impress me less than yours. Why does Peter insist on giving shout outs and reminding readers just how many people he knows in the business? Is Corey the reason you ass lick the Red Sox? Do you follow him around like you do Brett Favre and call his wife to "interview" her about her husband? You are truly pathetic and egotistical. I dislike you and hope Corey never texts you back again.

"How did the Patriots losing their first-round pick change this draft? Doubt they would've kept both, but would they have tried to move up to get Chris Long?'' Drew Leimkuhler, of Acton, Mass

Has anyone else noticed there is a certain fascination with Chris Long in the New England area? Peter wishes Chris Long would play for the Patriots and the other Pats "fans" are envisioning scenarios were they could have landed him. What is wrong with Glen Dorsey or Vernon Gholston, or even (gasp) the guy they picked? Could it be because Chris Long is white and all New Englanders hate minorities? Probably.

Ok, I am done with this craptastic post. Simmons has a chat today, I can't wait!