6 comments MMQB Review: From Selling Drugs to Assaulting Your Girlfriend, This Steeler Team Made It a Family Affair

Congratulations to the Steelers on winning the Super Bowl. Every Super Bowl winning team gets their share of a little luck and the Steelers were no exception, but they did win, so they deserve it. If there is anything this Steelers team has proven its that even if you have players who get arrested for domestic violence, marijuana possession, domestic assault, or one of the players sold drugs as a kid, if you have an owner that is a really nice old white man, then you will still get good PR from the media. I am kidding of course, that's not the whole team...that's only two players on the team. (Note: I am little cranky today)

Peter King thinks this team is like one big family and they all love each other. It's easy to love each other when the team is winning. Let's see what crap is spewing from Peter King this week.

And this is not a story about the affection the players have for Rooney, though they surely do. It's a story about the affection everyone on the Steelers has for everyone, basically.

It's an orgy of love because they won the Super Bowl. That's it.

Remember the Buccaneers in 2003 saying how smart Jon Gruden was and how he had them so well prepared for the Super Bowl? What happened when things went bad? Gruden got fired and players start bitching.

Remember Indianapolis winning the Super Bowl and there was history made because the first African American coach won a Super Bowl and he had an African American defensive coordinator and named an African American successor? Two years later, after successive playoff failures the successor watches the d-coordinator "quit" and also has reported tension with the offensive coordinator. When things go well, people are happy, when things go poorly, the world starts falling apart.

"We're just a bunch of little boys, fooling around in the living room,'' Troy Polamalu said. "We're a team that's been built on tradition, on many people before us being close and forming tight bonds, all the way up to people like Jerome Bettis.

Jerome Bettis, now commentator for the network carrying the Super Bowl, has a tight bond with the team he is supposed to be analyzing. This is one of many problems when networks hire dumbass ex-athletes to analyze games.

Coach Mike Tomlin put 305-pound nose tackle Chris Hoke just in front of the two returnmen on the kickoff team, then gleefully called over to the regulars on the sidelines: "Bro's gonna return a kickoff in the Super Bowl!'' And on it went.

Coach Tomlin: One loony, crazy, fun loving, motherfucker.

Other coaches force their players to strip down nude and return kickoffs into a group of defenders wearing spikes on their uniform, but not Coach Tomlin, he makes jokes. Three keys to a Super Bowl:

1. Jokes
2. Old white maen that the team loves
3. Players love each other

If it sounds a lot like the type of office Michael Scott on "The Office" runs, then you are exactly correct. There is no skill required for a team to win the Super Bowl. Santanio Holmes caught that last pass for a touchdown because it was a high arching throw filled with love from Roethlisberger's love filled hand.

Chemistry didn't win the most exciting Super Bowl I've covered, but chemistry did wear a Pittsburgh jersey.

Chemistry? Is Peter King covertly saying he thinks the entire Steeler team was on steroids or HGH?

"No,'' he said. "All the work I put in -- we put in -- paid off. I didn't know if I was going to be able to do anything out there because of my knee, and we did it. All of us. I am so proud of Santonio.

I am proud of Santonio as well, he went from dealing drugs to using drugs. That is upward mobility there. I am also proud of him that he already has pictures of himself naked on the Internet (I am at work and am not going to link it), but suffice to say I am sure you have heard about it, and if not, take my word for it. They are there and you can see the censored version, as I have, and get the point.

3. Baltimore (13-6). Ray Lewis said this week that his free-agent future is none of our business, that it's between him and God. "What I'm thinking, nobody needs to know,'' Lewis said. Well, you're in the wrong business and making the wrong kind of ridiculous money to expect that to be a reality, Ray, but good luck keeping it private.

I did not know that God was an agent now. I wonder if he is going to start trying to steal clients from Scott Boras and Drew Rosenhaus. That would be a battle I would like to see.

5. Tennessee (13-4). Sign Kerry.

Smart move from GM King here. Who else has fallen into the "Kerry Collins is good even when you let him play more than one year trap?" There should be a therapy group for those that have had to live in the wake of Kerry Collins. Only Carolina, New York Giants, Oakland, and now the Tennessee Titans have experienced this. I was looking forward to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers signing him and Matt Cassel this offseason, but with Jon Gruden gone, my hopes have been dashed.

10. Carolina (12-5).

I don't care if I am being a homer or not. If anyone really thinks the Carolina Panthers are the 10th best team in the NFL this year, please tell me why. Don't even say the playoff results are the reason because Peter King has New England at #6 and he ranks San Diego lower than Indianapolis. Power polls like this are useless but at least it should have some semblance of reason behind their order. I hate Peter King.

Peter names three players offensive player of the game, two players defensive player of the game, and two players special teams player of the game. I am just surprised he did not name both coaches Coach of the Game. I hope everyone can feel the love Peter is feeling today.

Goat of the Week

Not in this game.

Well if Peter lacks the balls to do this, I will do it for him. The officials were the goats of the game. I didn't give a damn who won this game but there were four calls that stood out to me that were very bad.

James Harrison should have been kicked out of the game for throwing punches and performing other MMA moves on a Cardinals player, instead he got a personal foul, but what he did went beyond that flag.

On a kickoff in the first half a Cardinals player punched a Steeler's player and should have been kicked out of the game, but the officials missed it.

The officials made a horrendous late hit call on Karlos Dansby for hitting Ben Roethlisberger a millisecond beyond the time they believe he should have been hit. I believe this was a second or third down with the Steelers out of field goal range. Players play to the whistle so this should not have been a penalty in my opinion, and not only that, on the same play Roethlisberger appeared to intentionally ground the ball. I say "appeared" because the crack NBC camera crew never showed us a replay of the double whammy of bad calls against the Cardinals.

Finally Kurt Warner's arm was moving forward on the final play of the game. I don't see how anyone can argue the point the play should have at least been reviewed. That's inexcusable. The Cardinals were going to lose this game no matter what, but I would at least feel better if the end was called correctly. That was not a fumble but an incomplete pass, combine that with the 15 yard penalty for a Steeler taking his helmet off and the Cardinals get one last exciting Hail Mary. Even if it was a fumble, I would have liked to have it reviewed, so I would not have seen the Super Bowl end on that bizarre call.

Sorry officials, you are my goat. I am sure there are other bad calls but those four stuck out to me.

Combine last night's game with the Super Bowl game against the Seahawks in 2006 and it seems like the 12th man for Pittsburgh is not the fans but the guys officiating the game. I say this purely as a neutral observer too, because I could care less who won both of those Super Bowl games.

Stat of the Week

John Elway played in five Super Bowls. Joe Montana played in four. Kurt Warner has played in three -- and has thrown for more yards than both Montana and Elway.
In 12 quarters, Warner has passed for 1,156 yards, the most in Super Bowl history. In 16 quarters, Montana threw for 1,142. In 20 quarters, Elway threw for 1,128.

Well now, Cold Hard Gridiron Guys (or whoever the not so bright people that said Peyton Manning was not as good as Kurt Warner are called) are going to think Kurt Warner is a better quarterback overall when compared to John Elway and Joe Montana. Thanks Peter.

f. Just finishing up the column this morning at 6:30 in the lobby of the Renaissance when Jerome Bettis walked in. He'd been with his Steelers boys all night. Nothing crazy. "Just happy,'' he said. "Sooooo happy.''

Nothing really wrong with this. It does call any type of neutrality these dumbass ex-athlete announcers may have though. Let's just say, no matter what a Steeler does wrong, I don't see Jerome Bettis criticizing that person or "his boy." Athletes are used more now as ways to get puff piece interview with athletes which that jock-turned-"sportscaster" played on teams or is buddies with. It's bullshit in my mind and is a reason I watch no pregame shows unless I have no control over the remote.

h. The Jets, as I said Sunday on NBC, are going to give Brett Favre lots of time to breathe. As in months. Favre and GM Mike Tannenbaum talked the other day for the first time since Dec. 29, and Tannenbaum said he was in no rush for Favre to make a decision on his future.

Don't fucking care. Why would anyone care what an average NFL quarterback is going to do after this season? If his name was Tim Jones the Jets would be looking to replace him this offseason, not ask if he is coming back...and if Tim Jones was almost 40 years old, he would definitely be replaced.

2. I think it's the best Super Bowl ever.

Shocker. I bet he wrote this last year and any time another Super Bowl was close. Nothing like a little hyperbole to wake up to Monday morning. Everything is the best ever thing that has ever happened, until the next year when the next great thing happens that turns into the greatest thing that has ever happened. It's boring and tedious to hear sportswriters write things like this. Even if it were true, it has been said so many times, "the best ever" has completely lost its meaning.

4. I think the comparison is slightly faulty, because he isn't exactly a balletic football player, but Santonio Holmes is to the 2008 Steelers what Lynn Swann was to the seventies Steelers.

The comparison is faulty not because Holmes is not "balletic," but because Holmes has not won 4 Super Bowls and been inducted into the Hall of Fame like Lynn Swann has. Also Lynn Swann appears to be a good person, while Holmes has been arrested three times in his 3 years in the league. Other than that, the comparison is completely valid.

5. I think the Cardinals had better pay Karlos Dansby. If they don't, someone in free agency will make him an $8-million-a-year player.

And then that team will have overpaid for Karlos Dansby. Teams should be in line to overpay for a guy who had never had 100 tackles in a season before his career year this year, which is also his contract year.

f. Good luck in Kansas City, Todd Haley, if you're interviewed. You've got a lot going for you, and your players respect you quite a bit.

A text message would probably suffice for this message. It certainly sounds like Terrell Owens and Anquan Boldin respect him, especially when you hear them getting in public arguments with him. Haley could either be the next Bill Parcells or some inferior coach who pisses his players off. Good luck Kansas City!

a. Ken Whisenhunt deferring to start the game? Didn't like it at all. Not at all. The Cards won the toss and could have jumped ahead with their powerful offense -- let's face it, the Arizona passing game has been the hottest single facet of any team this postseason -- but deferred. I found it odd. And when the Steelers drove 71 yards to score on the first series ... very, very suspect call.

It didn't sound like a smart decision but I think this decision kept the Cardinals in the game. That return by Harrison was demoralizing, but it could have been worse if the Cardinals went into halftime knowing the Steelers get the ball first in the second half. Instead, the Cardinals had the ball and they probably were more positive about their chances in the second half knowing their high powered offense would get the ball first. I think it gave them some hope, but I could be wrong.

9. I think it looks like there's a 40-60 percent chance the league's going to do something about overtime.

Can we call it the Peyton Manning-Peter King Law?

I love the percentages Peter gives us here that tell us absolutely nothing about what may or may not happen. Wavering between 40%-60% on overtime being looked at by the league tells us the league is either leaning slightly towards doing something or leaning slightly towards doing nothing. Thanks for the earth shattering information. Either this may happen or it may not, thanks again.

(Percentages tend to be more effective when they say something like, "there is a 25%-40% chance the league will do something about the coin flip rule, because it tells you it probably won't happen.)

Change no rules but one: Give the team that loses the coin flip at least one possession, then it goes to sudden death.

I am going to have a hernia if I hear this suggestion one more time. Why do teams get one possession and then we go to sudden death? The coin flip still decides the game. If Pittsburgh win the coin and chooses to receive then score a touchdown, then the Cardinals score a touchdown, and then the Steelers get a field goal, this new wonderful rule has changed nothing because the Cardinals still did not get a chance to win the game, they were only able to match the Steelers score once.

Sure, long games suck but get rid of the sudden death rule completely and don't always use it as a last resort.

d. Hard to believe the season's over. Isn't it? Won't we all go through withdrawal over the next few days?

I know. Who am I going to make fun of on Monday mornings when MMQB goes on a month hiatus?