7 comments MMQB Review: He is Risen! Edition

It has finally happened. After years of waiting around, everyone speculating on when it would happen, and reading desperately for the signs of his arrival, it has finally occurred. He has come to save us all, destroy what we know as the truth and rebuild everything again in his image. That's right, Tim Tebow started a game in the NFL and through his grace and motivational leadership, the Broncos were able to beat a winless team. This means we are all subject to crowing from Woody Paige, under the Mark Sanchez Rule that we ignore a quarterback's overall play and focus solely on the outcome of the game. This also means hopefully the focus will be on Tebow's football play instead of articles titled, "Does our dislike of Tebow say more about us then him?" Either way, Peter King will fill us on in everything that happened this week in the NFL and (spoiler alert) it turns out the early returns from trading a first round pick and a second round pick for Carson Palmer didn't turn out too well for the Raiders. There's a shocker for those not paying attention.

Week 7 stories I love: Plaxico Burress, Matt Ryan, Tim Tebow and DeMarco Murray.

Week 7 stories I don't know quite how to describe: Kyle Boller and Carson Palmer and Hue Jackson.

I can explain the first two and I'm not sure why Peter has troubling explaining them. Kyle Boller isn't that great of a quarterback and Carson Palmer has been in the offense for a few days and even when he knows the offense I don't think he will be that great. Palmer barely knew the offense on Sunday, so I'm not sure how much should have been expected of him. At the very maximum he is a 20% upgrade from Jason Campbell That's the very maximum, otherwise I'm betting he is what Campbell was. So that's how to ramble and describe what happened to the Raiders at the quarterback position.

Colts hitting rock bottom, then going deeper to find a new level of embarrassment.

My least favorite story of the season is the Colts talking about how they would draft Andrew Luck. First, I would love to see Luck and Manning co-exist on the roster. I have questions about how they would go. Second, shouldn't the Colts focus on the rest of the roster that apparently needs some upgrades? The Colts are bad without Manning, but losing 62-7 shows that lack of Manning isn't the only problem with the roster.

Tebow ... you saw it. You must have. Third-string for 53 minutes, transcendent for seven.

More majestic than transcendent.

And Murray. He'd never started an NFL game in his life, and only nine backs have had a better day in the history of the league than his 253-yarder Sunday in Arlington.

Did Murray even know how to play football before Saturday? Probably not. Murray had never even played football on a field before Sunday...unless you want to count when he played at Oklahoma and how he holds four school records during his time there. Other than that, he came from out of nowhere.

Away. Imprisoned on his gun charge, wondering if he'd ever have a big day like this again, when a quarterback could trust him to get open and they'd be able to build the kind of chemistry he had with Eli Manning when, in 2007, Manning and Burress had one of the great big games a quarterback and receiver could ever have in the NFC Championship Game, that minus-24-wind-chill triumph in Green Bay.

I bet the Giants really wish now they had signed Plax fresh out of his stint in jail.

Right Ian O'Connor?

Three times he did that Sunday, though there was little sign in the first six weeks that he and Sanchez were close to making the kind of music they made Sunday.

Peter, you clearly didn't pay attention to the greatest game in the history of the NFL that Plaxico played in the preseason.

Human limbs aren't supposed to bend the way Ryan's lower left leg and ankle did when tackle Will Svitek stepped on it hard in the third quarter. (Or, as Dan Patrick said last night, "Svitek stepped on his svankle.'') The lower leg appeared to bend like an "L.'' If that wasn't a season-ender, it was at minimum a high ankle sprain, and Ryan was going to miss some time. He missed time, all right. Two plays.

That's why they call him Matty Icccccccccccce. His clutchiness knows no bounds.

No, you don't. Ryan lay on the ground -- and depending who you believe, was either taunted or not taunted by a couple of Lions -- and it looked bad for about 30 seconds.

Whether you believe you know what happened while Ryan lay there for an eternity/30 seconds, it doesn't matter, because Ryan was laying there AND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS BEING SAID! WHERE'S "DATELINE" AT TO DO A REAL INVESTIGATION WHEN YOU NEED THEM?

But he got up, walked to the locker room, and when the medical staff determined it wasn't severely damaged, Ryan got the lower leg and ankle heavily taped and he came back in. He said he did not take a pain-killing injection.

Not to take anything away from Matt Ryan and his injury...but the injury looked bad, but it wasn't, and we are supposed to think he is this huge hero for only missing two plays? I know he sucks and everyone hates him but I'm pretty sure Tony Romo played with a fractured rib and a punctured lung earlier this year. I'm not sure I can muster up the hero worship for a guy who had an injury that looked bad, but really wasn't.

But Ryan jogged onto the field without throwing any warmup passes or talking to offensive play-caller Mike Mularkey. On the first snap, he set his right (plant) legand threw a bullet to slot receiver Harry Douglas on a crossing route. Gain of 49. The field goal Atlanta got there turned out to be the winning points.

So in summary...Matt Ryan suffered a very traumatic looking injury, was taunted/not taunted by the Lions, walked off the field, found out the injury wasn't as traumatic as thought when he got in the locker room, got the ankle taped, jogged back out on the field and then continued playing the game. Why did this story require such a long explanation when it turns out Ryan wasn't injured badly?

I'm not going to make Ryan out to be an Army Ranger here,

You mean like you just did? Contrary to Peter's own opinion, when you laud Matt Ryan for coming back and describe his injury and comeback in every minute detail as if he were coming back from a broken leg when the injury just looked bad, then you are making him seem like an Army Ranger. Saying you aren't going to make Ryan out as an Army Ranger doesn't mean you didn't just make him seem like one.

"Luckily,'' Ryan said, "we do a lot of flexibility training, and I'm sure that helped me there. Jeff Fish [Atlanta's director of athletic performance] does a great job with us as far as movement and stretching and making sure we're flexible.'' The Falcons are a big injury prevention team; I know that from being around them. And from the looks at the replay, that injury prevention might have saved their quarterback from a month in a walking boot.

We can all thank God/Tebow no one was severely injured during this non-injury.

I have four thoughts about Tebow 18, Miami 15:

1. Tebow's biceps...wow!
2. Tebow is clutchy and is just a winner.
3. Tebow knows how to win and he's a winner.
4. Tebow is a winning winner whose clutchiness and ability to play the best when it counts the most and the ability to play shitty for three quarters isn't a reflection on him as a quarterback only serves to show just how clutchy he can be and what a winning winner who wins he truly knows how to be.

1. I'm sure this is because Tebow hasn't given offensive coordinator Mike McCoy and coach John Fox reason to think he's ready to play an Aaron Rodgers, bombs-away type of game, but that was the most conservative, buttoned-up gameplan Denver had for most of the game. If you're going to give the guy a chance to win the starting job, you've got to let him play more than this gameplan allowed.

It is like Peter King hasn't covered John Fox as a head coach for nine years now. He's covered Fox's teams for nine years and yet he is still shocked Tebow had a conservative game plan? That's bad on Peter's part. Know the people you are paid to cover.

Just to add to Tebow Fevor, Kerry Byrne of Cold Hard Football Facts emailed me with this last night: In four starts, Tebow now has two fourth-quarter comebacks from at least 13 points down. In John Elway's career, guess how many he had. Two.

Clearly this means Tim Tebow is better than John Elway...says Woody Paige.

I don't see how Fox and John Elway know anything more about Tebow this morning than they knew 24 hours ago. This was an incredible victory, unlikely and exciting and wonderful for the fan base. But in terms of knowing whether Tebow has a chance to be your quarterback of the present or future? Nothing got solved. He didn't have a chance to do much in the regular offense, he wasn't accurate for 54 minutes,

It would also help if the Broncos coaching staff would construct a game plan that took advantage of Tebow's strengths, but I'm not sure they are capable of wanting to do that. It doesn't take a genius to know Fox did not want Tebow as his quarterback. He played Orton until he absolutely had to put Tebow in the game and then constructed a gameplan for Tebow which was conservative and didn't play to Tebow's strengths.

Murray was the sixth running back taken in the draft, nine spots after the Dolphins took Daniel Thomas (sorry Dolfans; didn't mean to stick the knife in any deeper than it is today) ...

Right, because one good day by Murray immediately means he should have been taken over Daniel Thomas in the NFL draft. Murray has potential to be a good NFL running back, but one fantastic day shouldn't start the "he was drafted x spots after Player Y" talk quite yet.

When the furor over the Walter Payton biography Sweetness: The Enigmatic Life of Walter Payton surfaced last month, I told you I'd pass along my thoughts when I'd read it. Now that I have, I can tell you it's terrific.

No, it isn't terrific. Walter Payton is a hero and how dare someone write stories about him Payton wasn't consulted on and it ruins what his family thinks of him and tries to ruin Payton's legacy which causes children to die and famine to begin because one of the greatest running backs ever didn't get a chance to defend himself in a biography written about him so Jeff Pearlman should eat shit and die.

You'd think no one had ever written a semi-controversial biography about a deceased person, the way some of the public reacted to Pearlman's book on Walter Payton. Why write a biography about a person if it only highlights the positive points of the person's life? That's not a very good job of writing if the positive is all that is discussed.

Phillips, who's now a firefighter in Jackson, told Pearlman that Payton had a "controlled rage'' when it came to how Griffin overshadowed him nationally. Pearlman also interviewed a Jackson State trainer, another teammate of Payton and Griffin himself. This is why you should read this book. The research is exhaustive, the anecdotes eye-opening.

Oh who cares! Pearlman waits until AFTER Payton is dead to defame and murder his memory to the thousands of innocent children who look up to him! How dare any author ruin the childhood fantasy of an athlete with the truth! (rabble, rabble, rabble)

Weird week. Only one of my top four teams played on Sunday, and six of the Fine Fifteen had Sunday off.

"Look at what my subjective rankings mean about the NFL as a whole."

7. Atlanta (4-3). Much-needed bye, then a game against the JV-like Colts in 13 days. Matt Ryan needs to get his left ankle right. Those things are not meant to bend at 90-degree angles.

"But he's not an Army Ranger and I refuse to treat him like he is!"

(Peter begins massaging Ryan's ankle and talking to Ryan) "Matt, I thought you got shot or stabbed when I first saw the injury. Then when I saw the replay, I knew it was worse than a gunshot or stab wound. You are so tough. What a tough little man! (pops Ryan on the butt as Ryan sprints on the field with nothing apparently wrong with him)"

9. Detroit (5-2). I don't like how chippy some of the Lions are getting.

And get off Peter's lawn! You can't hurt Matty Iccccccce and expect Peter to treat you like you are human.

Offensive Players of the Week

Atlanta TE Tony Gonzalez. Five catches by the steady-Eddie tight end of the Falcons helped Atlanta upset the Lions 23-16 at Ford Field, and the personal significance of the five grabs is just as important.

I promise this isn't "Pick on the Falcons week," but Gonzalez had five catches for 62 yards and he gets co-Offensive Player of the Week with a guy who had the 10th best rushing day in NFL history? This fake award of Peter's shouldn't be a lifetime achievement award.

Goats of the Week

Oakland QBs Kyle Boller and Carson Palmer. Wow. Tough crowd. Palmer walks into a tough situation, practices three days and shares this hallowed honor?

It is unfair to put Palmer in this category with Boller. Having said that, I have two problems with the Carson Palmer trade:

1. The trade itself. I remember when Carson Palmer was a great quarterback. He still could be a very good quarterback. It's just if you look at his statistics compared to the guy he replaced, Jason Campbell, there isn’t such a huge difference that would tell a team they need to trade a 1^st and 2^nd round pick for Palmer. What a silly panic move by the Raiders, at least in my opinion, to the Campbell injury. I know Kyle Boller sucks, but if a team is serious about going deep in the playoffs they don’t have Kyle Boller as the backup quarterback, knowing they would have no use for him if he ever had to be the starter. Why have a backup veteran quarterback you clearly have no confidence in? That’s just my stupid opinion. I think the Raiders could have used their draft picks to fix the backup quarterback situation before having to give up two high draft choices in desperate situation like they did.

2. Fine, the Raiders gave up a few draft picks for Carson Palmer. It's happened, but why put him in the game? What can be gained from this? He has been in the offense for just three days and at the very best he goes out there and doesn’t embarrass himself. I know Boller was drowning, but putting Palmer in the game when he clearly wasn’t ready didn’t seem to have much potential to do much good.

Well, the Raider quarterbacks threw six interceptions -- three apiece for Boller and Palmer -- and put zero points on the board. Look on the bright side. Can't get any worse, Carson.

I don’t know if I agree with this. It could get much worse if Palmer plays poorly once he has had a chance to learn the offense. What the Raiders gave up for him sets a pretty high bar in terms or expectations. Many people expected Palmer to struggle after knowing the offense for three days, but the expectation is he will get much better with time in the Raiders’ system. Things could get worse if he doesn’t meet those expectations.

Sadly for me, it appears Peter King agrees with me…

And though I do think Palmer will be a major upgrade over Kyle Boller, I still don't know what to think about Palmer for the long-term. He'll need to play better than he did over his last three Cincinnati seasons to make the deal worth it.

I’m not trying to bash Palmer inordinately, but he will need to play better as a 31 year old than he did during the last three seasons. The Raiders gave up two high draft choices on the hopes a 30+ year old quarterback will return to a level he hasn’t reached in a few years. That seems pretty risky to me. Simply put, I don’t believe he is a better upgrade in the long-term over Jason Campbell.

2008-2010 seasons

QB	W-L, Pct.	Comp.	Att.	Pct.	Yards	TD	Int	Rating
Campbell	19-25, .432	836	1,342	.623	9,250	39	27	84.1
Palmer	14-22, .389	719	1,181	.608	7,813	50	37	81.4

I think Palmer is a better quarterback than Campbell, but it was just a very high price for such a little upgrade…especially considering Campbell is younger than Palmer.

Palmer and Campbell are two of the four quarterbacks under contract with Oakland. Palmer cost first- and second-round (at least) picks. Terrelle Pryor cost a third-round pick. Jason Campbell a fourth-round pick.

So the Raiders are turning Pryor into a tight end, right? If not, they spent a third-round pick on a guy who may not see the field as a quarterback for 3-4 years if Palmer works out. Not that the Raiders should have held off on trading for Palmer because they have Pryor, but if they were so worried about their backup quarterback position after signing Boller why didn’t they give the Raiders a 3^rd round pick for Kyle Orton or another quarterback instead of spending it on a project quarterback? It just sounds like mismanagement of draft picks to me. I don’t know why a team would spend a 3^rd round pick on a project quarterback if they aren’t even happy with the backup quarterback they have now. Sure, the Raiders may not have known how bad Boller was until they signed him, but isn’t that what the scouting department is for? So the Raiders signed a crappy backup, used a third round pick on a project quarterback, and then spent two high draft choices on a quarterback they hope to lead the team for the next 3-4 years. It's bad draft pick management to me.

It isn’t like Campbell is out for the entire year and maybe I am out of touch and am wrong for thinking winning the division this year was worth trading for Palmer. So I’m hoping the 3^rd round pick for Pryor is to move him to tight end where he may be more useful in the short term and long term.

a. Daryl Johnston. Lindsay Nelson. (You'll just have to Google it, youngsters.)

I did Google it and I still don’t get it, partially because Peter spelled "Lindsay Nelson" wrong. How about if you are going to make cryptic references you spell the person’s name right that you are referring to…or possibly freaking tell us what you are talking about? No one reads MMQB to think anyway, so just tell us what you mean.

d. Matt Forte (25 carries, 145 yards) just keeps getting more expensive by the week. Bizarre the Bears haven't been able to find some common ground to get him signed.

I'm not sure there is a way to find common ground. The Bears don’t want to pay him like an elite running back and he clearly thinks he is an elite running back.

j. That was one of the best 13-for-32 games I've seen, Christian Ponder. There's hope in Minnesota.

So many white quarterbacks to fawn over, so little time in Peter King’s day.

In all seriousness though, Ponder looked really good at times. Having Adrian Peterson in the backfield definitely helped him. I am glad Peter is not super-overreacting to Ponder’s first game in the NFL (no sarcasm). I have a feeling the overreaction may happen next week when the Vikings beat Carolina on the road. Ponder just has to hand the ball off to Peterson and not give the ball to the other team and he should get a win. I bet the excessive fawning over Ponder will start at that point.

l. Can't find fault with the Vikes punting with 2:37 left, down 33-27, with all timeouts left, on fourth-and-10 from their 36. You can't ask Christian Ponder to convert that -- or, at least, you have to think your defense has a better chance of holding the Packers to six or seven plays and a punt rather than thinking Ponder can get 10 yards against a very good dime defense.

This is a tough call and makes me glad I am not an NFL coach. I am almost tempted to have Ponder try to convert this play. Is asking Ponder to convert this play that much more difficult than asking him to lead the Vikings to a touchdown with no timeouts left, assuming the Vikings could even have stopped the Packers? It is a tough call, but Ponder is going to have to score a touchdown with zero timeouts against a tough dime defense even if he gets the ball back.

a. Fifteen straight games now, in this big passing era, for the Vikings without a 300-yard passing game. Thanks for that note, Stats Inc.

This wouldn’t have happened if Brett Favre was still the quarterback. Wait…that streak includes his time in Minnesota too? No way, Favre was way too good of a quarterback for that to be true.

b. What on earth has happened to the Rams? It's like 2010 never happened.

Poor offensive line play, injuries, a tougher schedule, and Bradford has few quality receivers to reliably catch his passes. Was that more of a rhetorical question?

h. The Colts look like they're sprinting to the Andrew Luck finish line.

Let’s find another franchise quarterback to cover up all the other deficiencies on the roster! That’s the ticket!

3. I think, just for the record, because I know and you should know, Adam Schefter didn't sit on the Carson Palmer trade story because he was protecting anyone. It's an absurd statement and thought.

It doesn’t really matter why Schefter was sitting on the story. The bottom line is Jay Glazer broke the story to the public and ESPN shouldn’t take credit for breaking the story (which they did) if they didn’t break the story. That’s my bottom line. Of course, ESPN has been stealing credit for stories so long it is hard to even notice now. It is fine if Schefter was sitting on the story, but don’t take credit for breaking the story to the public if you weren’t the one that broke it to the public.

7. I think if I'm the Browns, I'm having serious questions about Montario Hardesty's ability to be the every-down running back. A win's a win, and Cleveland somehow beat Seattle in a slugfest, 6-3. But Hardesty (33 carries, 95 yards) was a plodder more than a runner Sunday, and had 20 carries of two yards or fewer. I wonder when was the last time a runner has rushed 20 times in a game, basically, ineffectively. At one point in the first half, here were Hardesty's rushes in succession: 1, minus-1, 1, 2, minus-1, two. I'm thinking the Browns should kiss and make up with Peyton Hillis.

These aren't the Browns only two options. They could draft another running back who doesn’t sit out of a game basically because his agent tells him to do so. There are other running backs out there and Hillis has an injury history, plus I can’t but think the fact he stayed out of a game for dubious reasons should be a strike against him.

b. Congrats on your eight-catch game for Cornell against Brown, Luke Tasker. Bet you'd rather have had the win if you're anything like your father.

(Movie preview guy voice) “In an age where there are mobile phones, text messaging, Twitter, fax machines, email, and letters…one man stands against this technology to deliver messages to others. He prefers to give private messages through a public forum. You may not give a shit about who he knows, but your lack of a shit to give is his to take. It’s Peter King in ‘Look Who He’s Talking to Now.’ His private messages are your business now.”

f. My niece Charlotte got married Saturday in England to a swell guy named Jonny. Sorry I missed it, you two lovebirds. Have a great life.

There’s your wedding gift Charlotte and Jonny. You got a public mention in MMQB. No need to thank Peter, but he does expect a gift bag from you.

j. Coffeenerdness: I believe I set a personal record Sunday. Ten total shots of espresso in three lattes between 6 a.m. and 10:30 p.m. Not that it's going to come back to haunt me or anything.

At what point did Peter get feedback when he discussed coffee that made him think, “Boy, I bet everyone wants to know every coffee-oriented item that occurred to me over the last week”?

k. Beernerdness: Pleasure to share two Dogfish Head 90s with my Versus Friday night partner Russ Thaler on the Acela the other night. Then nearly fell asleep on the subway when I got to New York from the Versus studios in Connecticut.

Oh, so that’s why we don’t have any stories about what some annoying people did on the Acela over the past week while Peter was "innocently" sitting there staring at those people while writing down their every movement.

3 comments I'll Take "Initial Overreactions by Ian O' Connor" for $500, Alex

One of the things that irritates me the most about the preseason are the overreactions by many to what happens in the preseason. Sure, there are things that happen in the preseason that mean something, but then other things that happen don't mean anything at all. Ian O' Connor thinks the New York Giants may have made a mistake in not re-signing Plaxico Burress and allowing him to go to their Division riva---I mean confere---umm...New York city rival, the New York Jets. In the process of overreacting, Ian is also able to effectively pinpoint exactly whose fault it is that Burress didn't come back to the Giants. Clearly it is Eli Manning who is at fault. O' Connor decides, based on Burress' 3 catch 66 yard performance against the powerhouse team of the Cincinnati Bengals, the Giants made a colossal free agent mistake.

Somewhere Eli Manning was watching and wondering if he should have hit the recruiting trail after all. The star he refused to court, Plaxico Burress, was playing in the New Meadowlands Stadium like he played in the Old Meadowlands Stadium,

No one will say Plaxico Burress doesn't have a good chance of coming back and having a strong season, but what does it tell Manning's current group of young receivers if Manning wants Burress back on the team and publicly says he thinks the Giants should top the $3 million guaranteed the Jets offered Burress? That's a fairly strong vote of non-confidence. Regardless, I also doubt Manning was watching this game. He probably had better things to do than watch a preseason game between two AFC teams.

and suggesting for the first time that Eli and friends made a colossal free-agent mistake.

Dammit Eli! As the General Manager of the Giants you should worked harder to sign Plaxico Burress. Didn't you see his diving catch in an exhibition game a couple nights ago? It was a similar route that Burress ran in the Super Bowl three years ago, which immediately caused ESPN's New York-based writers to start foaming at the mouth and putting their ballot in for Burress on the All-Pro team.

"I've never had a target like him," Mark Sanchez said.

To be fair, Burress is replacing Braylon Edwards. So Sanchez hasn't ever had a tall receiver who has managed to catch a pass thrown his way 60% of the time. This shouldn't be a huge threshold to top.

Burress was good for three receptions and 66 yards in a steady rain Sunday night, notarizing his return to the NFL with a 26-yard touchdown catch on a Sanchez lob ripped straight from the Eli Manning playbook.

This was a great catch but O’ Connor needs some perspective. This was a great catch in a preseason game against (potentially) the second-worst team in the NFL, while being defended by Fred Bennett, who is either 3^rd or 4^th on the Bengals depth chart right now. It’s not like he burned Nnamdi Asomugha or anything like that. Perspective. That’s all we need before talking about how the Giants will rue the day they did not sign Plaxico Burress to a contract after he went free from prison.

Burress shared all of three practices with Sanchez after injuring his ankle, and yet he picked up his quarterback's signal at the line.

I think it was even more simple than this…

(Mark Sanchez hand signals there is an attractive 17 year old girl in the stands he plans to sleep with after the game)

(Plaxico Burress hand signals Sanchez better be careful about that. He doesn’t want to end up in jail. Plaxico knows this from experience.)

(Mark Sanchez hand signals he’s probably right. Then Sanchez hand signals he sees Plaxico being guarded by what looks like a high school kid…then sees it is Fred Bennett. Hand signals Plaxico to go deep)

(Plaxico Burress misreads the hand signal and throws a gang sign back at Sanchez, reminding himself to show off the new shanking technique on Sanchez that he learned in prison. Then tired of hand signaling, he hand signals he will just run in a straight line and Sanchez should throw the ball to him because he is being defended by Fred Bennett)

(Mark Sanchez tries to throw the ball straight and deep. His throw is off and he ends up throwing a fade. After the touchdown he and Plaxico agree to say they had this planned all along. Plaxico is so excited he forgets about shanking Sanchez. Ian O’ Connor wets himself)

Burress used his long arms to push Bennett and create the space he needed to summon the memory of his Super Bowl-winning catch.

He summoned the memory of his Super Bowl catch if the Super Bowl catch was made against a 4^th string cornerback in an exhibition game in the rain against the second-worst team in the NFL.

It required a crash-landing in a steady rain, with Burress forced to throw his head straight back over his shoulders to track the descent of the pass.

It was a great catch. It was a great catch in an exhibition game against many of the Bengals backups…and the Bengals backups are another team’s backups to the backups. It was a good catch, but in the long run it doesn’t mean a heck of a lot.

The greatest catch I have ever seen during an NFL game was made by Walter Young. Who? Exactly. It was made in the back of the end zone in an exhibition game. Walter Young went on to do……………………something I am sure.

On a side note: I would normally say the greatest catch I have ever seen in person was Steve Smith catching a touchdown pass against Dallas in the 2003 NFC Divisional Round because I was at that game, but I didn’t actually see that catch because I was buying beer for all of my friends because “halftime is like 30 minutes long in a playoff game.” Quick note to those who believe this: It’s not true. I’m still not over this.

We know why he's not still there, playing with the lead tenants of this building. On a November night on the town in 2008, Burress made the mistake of packing an unlicensed and loaded gun, rather than a licensed and unloaded gun. He accidentally shot himself in the leg, ultimately costing himself his freedom and costing the Giants a chance to win a second consecutive title.

I guess this injury cost the Giants a chance to win a second consecutive title. They were a pretty good team up until Plaxico left. This is a somewhat presumptive statement though.

The franchise and franchise quarterback haven't been the same since.

Manning had the best year of his career in 2009 without Burress on the roster. So this isn’t entirely true that Manning hasn't been the same since Burress left.

The Giants went 10-6 in 2010, which is the same record they had in 2007 with Burress when they won the Super Bowl. They just happened to not make the playoffs in 2010 while they did in 2007. So it is not like they have fallen off the map.

And yet Manning refused to campaign for Plax The Sequel the way Ben Roethlisberger did in Pittsburgh. Eli said he didn't want to deliver a vote of no confidence to his current receivers, and didn't want to call for Burress' hiring when other Giants free agents remained unsigned,

Which is actually somewhat logical for Manning to believe. It is simply a matter of preference. Burress may have improved the Giants receivers, but Manning didn’t want to advocate for Burress because he wanted his young receivers to know he trusted them to get the job done. I’m not sure three catches in an exhibition game will prove this is a bad idea. Giving confidence to the young receivers could very well help the Giants more in the long run than having Burress signed to a one-year deal.

but surely there was more to it than that.

Even if it would help Ian O’ Connor get a good story out of this, there’s probably not a whole lot more to it than that.

Manning has his pride; he showed it when he didn't aw-shucks his way through those questions about elite quarterbacks and Tom Brady's rarefied air. Eli wouldn't mind winning big without Burress, if only to dispel the notion that he can't.

I find it difficult to believe there are people who think Eli Manning is driven to win a Super Bowl title without Plaxico Burress. Really? You think that drives him? Why isn’t he motivated to win one without Michael Strahan or Derrick Ward? I bet Manning just wants to win a Super Bowl to shove it in David Tyree's face he can do it without him.

This is silly to think Eli Manning doesn't want Plaxico on the Giants team in order to show he can win a Super Bowl without him. Eli Manning wants to win a Super Bowl again. To indicate he wants to win one without Plaxico Burress, and that’s why he didn’t campaign for him to join the team, is just not true.

After playing so fast and loose with Tom Coughlin's rules, Burress called it a "privilege" to be employed in the NFL and promised to run routes with a smile on his face. Prison will do that to you.

Playing under Tom Couglin probably better prepared Burress for prison.

After his first winning performance as a Jet, the receiver promised, "It's just the tip of the iceberg."

On the first play of the Jets' first series, Sanchez decided to break the ice.

These two sentences just made baby Jesus cry. Good job Ian O’ Connor! You’ve written so poorly you are making children cry now.

He ran a play-action fake and looked downfield to his right, where Burress was finishing a curl route. Sanchez fired it into Burress' breadbasket for a 20-yard gain, and then the receiver rose from the field to do a slow strut in celebration of himself.

I don’t know why the Giants didn’t want a receiver who would catch one touchdown pass in an exhibition game and then immediately do a celebration of himself.

But nothing could touch the touchdown, which Burress punctuated with a couple of bows to the crowd.

Think there is a little bit of an overreaction to the touchdown in an exhibition game. We all love a comeback story and Burress made a great catch. Let’s not throw egg on the Giants' face quite yet and see how the rest of the year plays out.

(How about the other teams that didn’t sign Burress? It isn’t like these teams didn’t know what kind of player Burress used to be. Why do they get off easy? Because they aren’t teams from New York and that is O’ Connor’s coverage area for ESPN? If Burress plays well it isn't only the Giants who possibly made a mistake by not signing Burress)

"There's not animosity toward them," Burress maintained. "They haven't done anything to me."

Except give Plax a chance to make them regret saving three million bucks.

Which is really what three catches, one of them spectacular, can do in a preseason game apparently. Isn't this overreacting just a little?

Based on one preseason game it looks like he would have been a nice addition. The Giants, and I think someone needs to tell Ian O’ Connor that Eli Manning is not the General Manager of the Giants, wanted to let guys like Victor Cruz and Ramses Barden get significant playing time this year rather than sign Burress to a one-year deal. It may be a bad move, but one preseason game doesn’t give the answer one way or another. No matter how much O’ Connor wants it to so he can turn the Burress comeback story into a larger story than it has already become.

1 comments I Disagree With Everything In This Column

Pretty rare feat! I mean, everything, at least for the first half, which I will cover below. Not a single well made argument, all of them are the result of placing a "wtf" sandwich in a blender and drinking the whole thing down with breakfast. Introducing Mr. Bizarro himself, Mike Florio.

10-Pack: Biggest blunders at NFL season's midpoint

There's enough crazy for this post in just the first four.

1. Giants giving Plaxico Burress a new contract.

It wasn't much of a surprise to learn that the defending Super Bowl champs had given a contract extension to their star wideout on the afternoon of the first game of the regular season. After all, Plaxico Burress had been clamoring for a new deal (despite having three years left on his current contract) for most if not all of the offseason, and there was a chance that, unless the team placated Plax, he'd begin to act like a bigger idiot than we'd ever before seen.

let me be perfectly clear here - Plaxico Burress was fucking awesome last year. Shockey was out, Jacobs was frequently hurt, Manning was generally shaky, and they were not a particulary good pass blocking team. Burress was the one consistant shining light for the offense, and he did it without practising all season due to a practically broken ankle. He finished tied for fourth in receiving TD's and all above him (Housh, Moss, Owens, Edwards) all had other elite offensive players - that was just not true for Burress. You know who was second in receiving TD's (Burress had 12)? Amani Toomer. He had three.

He had 151 of Manning's 251 passing yards in the NFC Title game (let that sink in for a bit), while Brandon Jacobs ran for just 67 yards. Saying he single handedly willed them to the Superbowl is a bit of a stretch, but it's plausable. This guy was an unsung hero, in the truest sense, if any team owes any player, anything in the NFL, it's the Giants and Burress, let's make that perfectly clear. He also leads his team in yards and TD's, despite missing a game.

Then, several weeks later, we learned that Burress already had been acting that way, as evidenced by reports of 40 or 50 fines since he joined the team, which culminated in a two-week suspension (later reduced to one week) after he didn't show up for work the day after a game.

So why did the Giants give the guy more money?

because he's AWESOME. I am willing to give Burress a massive benifit of the doubt based on last year, and you know, you just know, there's another side to this story.

At a time when the Giants aren't afraid to hold firm even if it means missing out on the services of guys like Michael Strahan and Tony Gonzalez, it's amazing that the team rewarded Burress in light of all the things the team knew -- and that the rest of us generally didn't.

raise your hand if you would prefer Tony Gonzalez or Michael Strahan (a RETIRED Michael Strahan I might add) to Plaxico Burress? You are the Sarah Palin's of the NFL, congratulations.

Most recently, the Giants benched Burress for more than a quarter of Sunday's win at Pittsburgh due to missing injury treatments. Unless he finally figures out the connection between his actions and the consequences for them, he'll continue to be more of a liability than an asset.

leads a 6-1 team in yards and TD's, I think the Giants will live. Thanks.

2. Saints trading for Jeremy Shockey.

The Giants' misguided decision to pay Burress was counterbalanced by a grifting of the Saints, who sent a second- and fifth-round pick to New York for unwanted tight end Jeremy Shockey.

and so we begin the worship at the alter of draft picks.

It's like having someone pay you $1,000 to take away your trash.

it's nothing like that, at all. Ugh, so condescending and self satisfied.

Shockey, when healthy, is a talented player. But he never has functioned effectively as a member of a team.

Really? Really? Really?

"But it highlights the sizable void that the injured Shockey has left behind as a player and a fiery leader, a space that the unsung and understated Boss will try to partly fill...Boss called Shockey “a great friend and a great mentor...It’s not the ideal situation with our starting tight end going down, our team leader going down like that”

Shockey"He's one of our leaders, one of the guys that comes to practice every day,'' quarterback Eli Manning said. "It's going to be tough to overcome that, and we need someone to step up and hopefully one of these rookie tight ends can do that.''

"It's part of the business, part of the risk you take when you go out there, that you can get injured,'' defensive end Michael Strahan said. "Losing Shockey is definitely going to hurt because he's not only an emotional leader and all those things, but he also makes plays for you. He's one of our guys that other teams make sure they account for, and that helps other guys out. I know as much of a competitor he is, it's really going to kill him to watch.''

"Another big issue was the absence of Shockey, which left the question of who would step up as the vocal leader of the offense."

*yawn* Your wrongness bores me Florio, fetch me a new reporter!

Shockey has recently popped off about the handling of his hernia surgery, has already missed several games due to the condition and has not delivered strong performances on the field. The Saints should have kept their draft picks -- especially since an unprecedented number of underclassmen are poised to make a cash grab in 2009, before the NFL imposes a rookie pay scale.

Shockey has not been great, but this is such 20/20 hindsight rubbish, and Florio knows it. So easy to criticise after the fact, and there is still plenty of time to turn it around.

3. Cowboys trading for Roy Williams.

Speaking of squandering picks in next year's talent-heavy draft, the Cowboys gave up a first-, third- and sixth-round pick for a receiver they simply don't need.

Miles Austin is the best receiver ever. Eddie Royal for Andre Johnson! Lack of depth at receiver was a massive need! Maybe the biggest! The defense is awesome, everywhere basically. They have two excellent, well complimented running backs. Until recently the QB position is solid, and the temporary loss of Romo isn't the end of the world (despite what the Chicken Little's of the media). Their O-Line is arguably the best in the league. The one downspot is receiver, they rely very heavily on Owens and Witten, Barber isn't much of a threat out of the backfield (despite the TD last week), Crayton is still inconsistant and Austin et al are thoroughly unproven. The receivers certainly aren't terrible, but relatively, this is a weak link. It's understandable that the Yankees of the NFL would buy now, they wanna win now, if you didn't pick up the subtle hints Einstein.

There's only one football, and the Cowboys have a healthy throng of guys who want to catch it and/or run with it. Adding another guy to the mix made no sense.

something like 60% of all passes went to Owens or Witten last year, I think defenses might have an eye on them man. Might need another target, even occasionally. Good players = good. The Cowboys want to win now, it's fair enough too seeing as they are good, and not many teams look unbeatable, in fact, for the first four weeks, they looked the best team in football, fucking have some balls and go for this championship. You, Florio, are a pussy.

4. Lions firing Matt Millen.

oh yes. Oh God yes. That's the good stuff...ooooooooooooh yeaaaaaaaah.

What's that, you say? How can it have been a blunder for the Lions to fire the guy who should have been fired at least three years ago?

The problem here isn't Detroit's decision to part ways with Millen. It's the timing of it.

No one fires a GM three games into a season. The move does nothing to help the team in the short term.

this is like saying that you shouldn't stop building your lunar rocket ship out of cardboard because it does nothing to help you to get to the moon. Technically it's true, but the cardboard ship sure as fuck wasn't gonna get you there, you may as well get to trying something else.

The early-season dismissal of Millen has given the front-office folk -- who should have been fired with him -- a three-month head start on getting themselves ensconced for 2009.

...what?

Fortunately for Lions fans, the team keeps losing...

oh! Now your column makes sense! You think the goal is to lose games! Now I see! No, sorry man, it's to win them, the answer is - to win games. Thus, Shockey is good, so is Burress, Matt Millen is a millstone on the neck of the Lions and Roy Williams also, a good pickup. Winning = good. Losing = bad. Home Runs = good. Outs = bad. Dunn = good. Eckstein = bad.

Everyone on board? Awesome.

Mike Florio? You're on notice - you just made the list.