0 comments What A-Rod Has Done Wrong Today: He Showed Up Early to Spring Training

I don't really want to start writing about A-Rod more often (or more often than I already do, which is too often). It's too tempting to not start a chain of posts called "What A-Rod Has Done Wrong Today," which would basically be all the things A-Rod has no control over that he's getting blamed for or good things A-Rod has done which are being turned into bad things. I don't want to write about A-Rod more, but I like to post five times per week (which means shorter posts sometimes) and A-Rod is always good for some overreaction by the media. So a succession of posts about the things A-Rod has done wrong should go to show how insane the New York media is about A-Rod.

What A-Rod has done wrong today is that he showed up to spring training early, without telling the Yankees he was coming. It's just like A-Rod, always making his own rules. Most baseball players would publicly announce when they are coming to spring training to get extra work in, but A-Rod being the selfish asshole he is, chooses to just show the hell up and expect the media and Yankees to deal with it. A-Rod is early. No one likes it when a baseball player spends extra time trying to improve himself. It's unsightly.

With two strikes against him and little margin for error, Alex Rodriguez still managed to find a way to irritate the Yankee brass when he arrived at spring training Monday — two days earlier than expected.

TWO DAYS EARLIER THAN EXPECTED! If my employees come into work early in the morning, then I immediately slap them across the face and tell them to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE OFFICE YOU COCKGOBLIN! I EXPECTED YOU AT 8AM AND IT'S 7:45AM! WHAT KIND OF AMATEUR BULLSHIT ARE YOU PULLING?

I don't even know what I would do if an employee showed up on Saturday. The death penalty would be in play though. Nothing is more irritating than an employee who shows up and tries to do improve themselves by putting more work in. Honestly, it's a fireable offense.

Wearing a green University of Miami workout suit, Rodriguez arrived in Tampa Monday morning, which was news to the Yankees, leaving Brian Cashman and the team’s media relations staff scrambling for answers.

What answers did they need? "He's here, yes." That's pretty much all they need to say and the Yankees have made it clear to A-Rod he's on his own in terms of dealing with the media.

The Yankees, who had expected him to show up on Wednesday, had no issues with A-Rod arriving on Monday, but team officials were fuming that he hadn’t alerted them to his plans.

"No issues" means that the Yankees weren't "fuming" when A-Rod showed up. If they were fuming, that's the exact polar opposite of having no issues with when A-Rod showed up to spring training. I ain't a writer like Mark Feinsand, but I do know if I'm fuming about something then I have an issue with that something. In an effort to paint A-Rod in the wrong, all logic must be thrown out the window in favor of insanity.

“He’s learned nothing,” said one baseball executive. “He’s the same old guy. He just did what he wanted to do.”

Did the other Yankees players tell the team when they would show up or did they just show up and do whatever they wanted to do? Why should A-Rod be different?

“I cringe sometimes when I look at some of the things I did, but I paid my penalty and I’m grateful that I have another opportunity,” Rodriguez said as he stopped to speak with reporters outside the team’s minor-league complex following a one-hour workout.

The Yankees have no issue with A-Rod speaking to the media, but they fuming that he spoke with the media. The Yankees were fine with A-Rod working out for an hour, but they are absolutely flabbergasted he didn't even check the schedule to see if a little league team needed the field during the time he rudely dominated the complex during his workout.

His early arrival did offset the expected media crush on Wednesday, as roughly 20 reporters and a handful of cameras were on hand at the minor-league complex to greet A-Rod, a fraction of what had been expected on Wednesday.

And here is the real reason the media will jump all over the "A-Rod was early to spring training story" as if it is some huge fault in A-Rod's DNA to arrive earlier than expected. That reason? They didn't get a chance to be there the day A-Rod walked in and create a circus, then write dozens of columns about the circus surrounding A-Rod. He prevented the media crush and avoided putting a huge spotlight on his arrival, which obviously shows his inherent selfishness. The media has it out for him, why can't he just play along?

According to a source, Rodriguez was planning to work out at the complex, something he’s done multiple times in the past without alerting the club. Once the Yankees requested he first take his physical, he complied immediately.

It's not even the first time A-Rod has shown up early to spring training. Wow, the selfishness and refusal to play a part in the media's games of circus really dominates A-Rod's thoughts. Maybe he's too focused on combating the media and not focused enough on baseball. Look for Mike Lupica to write the column broaching this subject in the near future. 

Asked whether he thought the Yankees are on his side as camp opens, A-Rod seemed uncertain.
“I don’t know; you’d have to ask them,” he said. “I created a big headache for a lot of people, so I don’t blame whoever is mad at me. I understand.”

Wow, A-Rod is still not taking blame for what happ (changes narrative) is still uncertain exactly if the Yankees are on his side or not. Is he just dumb? Of course they aren't on his side, but it's because A-Rod doesn't realize he's created a big headache for a lot of peo showed up early to spring training. That's the ticket, that's why they are mad at him.

Rodriguez declined to answer many specific questions about his suspension, his role in the Biogenesis scandal or the apology letter he released last week. 

Still hiding. He still won't answer the questions about the scandal or whether he is even using PED's at the present time. When will A-Rod answer that question? Is he is on PED's right now? He wouldn't dare answer though.

He did answer one drug-related question, when a reporter asked him directly if he was currently using any illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

“No,” Rodriguez said firmly.

Well, I mean, he's probably lying. So who would believe A-Rod when asked this question anyway? It's a dumb question and doesn't even really need to be asked.

Asked whether he was confident he could succeed without the drugs, the three-time AL MVP replied, “I’m confident that if I stay healthy, I can do some good things.”

The fact A-Rod is 39 years old and was getting injured prior to his year-long suspension. This is probably a bigger reason his performance could decline during the 2015 season, but I'm sure the media will ignore that A-Rod is almost 40 years old and claim he can't hit 40 home runs because he's not on PED's anymore.

A-Rod’s day marked the first time he worked out under the team’s watch since his historic 162-game suspension.

How did the Yankees watch though? THEY WEREN'T PREPARED FOR HIM TO SHOW UP TO SPRING TRAINING!

Making the team was a recurring theme during his eight-minute session, something A-Rod hasn’t had to do since he was a teenager coming up with the Mariners back in the mid-1990s.

A-Rod doesn't even expect to compete for the spot I would bet. He just wants it all handed to him.

“I love to compete,” he said.

Yeah, but he only loves to compete when he's using PED's.

“I’m here a couple days early to get a jump start. I love baseball. I just love to be in uniform and I’m so grateful to have an opportunity to be back in uniform.”

The fact A-Rod loves baseball and wants to show up early in order to compete and make the team is a TERRIBLE excuse for showing up to spring training early. He should think less about helping the Yankees on the field and more about helping the Yankees by telegraphing his every move to them. He's not getting paid to play baseball well, plus the media is terrified that A-Rod will come back and play well for a 39 year old while in his teammate's good graces. It would ruin all the narratives.

Rodriguez had planned to take part in his first workout at 11 a.m. Monday, but once the Yankees learned of his plan — Cashman said he heard about A-Rod’s plan from a pair of reporters Monday morning — the team requested he first undergo his spring physical.

A-Rod reported to the ballpark at 11:30 for his checkup, then headed for the minor-league complex around 12:45. He drove a white SUV into the complex shortly before 1, carrying his bats in through a back entrance.

A-Rod not only failed to alert the Yankees to his every move, but also drove his own car to the complex and carried his own bats while selfishly trying to gain attention for himself by entering through a back entrance. WHEN WILL THIS MONSTER FINALLY BE SATIATED WITH THE LEVEL OF DAMAGE HE CAN CAUSE?

He worked out from 1:30 to 2:30, playing long toss, throwing a medicine ball, fielding grounders at third base and shortstop and taking batting practice. He took 71 swings and hit six home runs.

He field baseballs at third base. Clearly A-Rod is delusional that he is going to be the starting third baseman in complete defiance of what the Yankees have said. They have stated repeatedly the third base job is Chase Headley's, but no, A-Rod has go and practice at third base just to stay sharp in case something happens to Headley.

Rodriguez will report to camp Wednesday with the rest of the position players, while the first full-squad workout is scheduled for Thursday.

A-Rod thinks he's a position player. How cute. He's a DH! KNOW YOUR PLACE A-ROD!

The New York media will whine that A-Rod can't ever earn his $61 million that is owed to him, meanwhile will criticize A-Rod for even trying to earn this money.

He has no plans to address the team as a whole, saying he “has a lot of good relationships” with players and staff members.

“Surprisingly enough, I feel very welcome,” he said.

Well, he's not welcome and the New York media is pretty sure they speak for the rest of the Yankees when saying that. Next thing you know, A-Rod will stay after the game to get some more at-bats and try to give hitting tips to the younger players in an effort to undermine Jeff Pentland and take over the hitting coach duties for himself.

3 comments In a Shocking Twist of Events Sportswriter Who Hates Everything About Alex Rodriguez Hates His Apology Too

Mike Lupica is a self-important asshole who has singlehandedly disproved the theory that it pays off to be nice to people and that those who treat others like they want to be treated will be rewarded. You wouldn't have to search far to hear stories of how Mike Lupica believes himself to be superior to his fellow co-workers, his neighbors or any other human being walking on Earth or in Heaven/Hell. So A-Rod apologizes for using steroids and his other crimes of ego and vanity. It was either going to be enough for some or not enough for others and the decision was probably made which way this would go well before A-Rod actually wrote the apology. People hate everything A-Rod does or they don't. They believe him or they don't. Mike Lupica is on his high horse and can't just write, "I don't like Alex Rodriguez so I choose not to believe him." No, Lupica has to think of horseshit excuses WHY he knows that the apology doesn't ring true among fans, though Lupica is about as in touch with sports fans as Tony Bennett is with the latest dance craze. The last time Lupica watched a game with real sports fans was the one time he got locked out of the press box and had to watch the third quarter of a Knicks game in the last row of Madison Square Garden. Even then he probably forced anyone who he had to sit beside out of their seat so he wouldn't feel crowded as he leaned forward in his chair with his toes barely touching the ground. A-Rod is an asshole and a liar. I'm not sure there's any doubt about that, but Mike Lupica mocking A-Rod and trying to pretend he knows anything about what the real sports fan thinks is the real assholery and lie in this situation.

To the end with Alex Rodriguez you wouldn’t believe the guy if he told you water was wet, even if he wrote that out in the schoolboy cursive handwriting he used on Tuesday when he apologized to the fans for being a very bad boy.

(Mike Lupica if A-Rod didn't apologize): "The least A-Rod could do is set aside his mountainous ego and tell the truth for once, even if it isn't the truth. Just write a letter or make a statement saying you are sorry. Is that too much to ask?"

(Mike Lupica when A-Rod does apologize): "A-Rod apologized. He didn't mean it. This is just another lie to add to the rolodex of lies that A-Rod seems to be keeping around in a feeble effort to get back in the good graces of fans."

See, when someone hates another person, then NOTHING the other person will do can stop the other person from hating him. At a certain point, the person doing the hating gets tuned out or ignored. So I expect nothing from Lupica but hate towards A-Rod and his take on A-Rod's letter will never convince me of Lupica's point of view.

Most fans reading it probably wanted to write one back: Shut up and get out.

Mike Lupica has absolutely zero idea what fans wanted to write back. The big lie here is any time Mike Lupica claims to even be 1% in touch with modern sports fans and their feelings. It's hard to mingle with the people when you won't leave your pedestal.

So this is the way Rodriguez decides to play it, deciding not to hold some kind of press conference before spring training, opting out of the visual of his lawyer sitting next to him and telling him which questions he could answer, and which ones would require him to exercise his Fifth Amendment rights, so as not to face self-incrimination.

Quite a scene that Lupica has set up here. Obviously A-Rod was opting out of creating a circus around himself for his own benefit and the media will never have a chance to speak with A-Rod ever again during the 2015 season. Such a sneaky fellow to permanently escape the questions of the media as he has.

But then DEA informants — it is exactly what Rodriguez is — rarely want to tell their stories in public.

Snitches get stitches! Mike Lupica don't like it much when snitches start telling stories to the DEA. That's the right way to end up on the wrong side of Lupica's glock.

And yes, Mike Lupica is now criticizing Alex Rodriguez for helping to put a drug dealer behind bars. Because while it's not honorable necessarily, it's also not something that merits any form of criticism.

Now he tries to control his own cockeyed narrative about his drug use — is he really going to try to convince us once again that he didn’t know what he was buying from Bosch and using? — with a written apology that is like a nuanced legal brief, one in which the only thing he really admits is that he did an historic amount of time.

It never ends. The amount of blood required from A-Rod to make up for his previous transgressions will never be enough. Andy Pettitte is seen as fully honest in saying, "I used PED's, but I didn't use them to enhance my performance so fuck you for thinking that's why I did it." He gets a rub-and-tug from the New York media while the Yankees retire his jersey. Alex Rodriguez admits he cheated and apologizes, but he gets criticized by Mike Lupica for not giving up more information with which he can be criticized. Perhaps A-Rod would have been better off claiming he never took PED's to enhance his performance.

It is one thing to tell his story to a writer or to the new commissioner, Rob Manfred, behind closed doors. Or to do the same thing, again behind closed doors to Hal Steinbrenner of the Yankees and his team president, Randy Levine, and his general manager, Brian Cashman. It would have been quite another thing for Rodriguez to have answered questions out in the open without a lawyer present.

A-Rod told his story and was honest with the commissioner and nearly every important decision-maker with the Yankees team, but because Mike Lupica didn't get to hear A-Rod's story then obviously he hasn't come completely clean. The sense of entitlement from Lupica is astounding. A-Rod told his story to anyone who matters, but because he wasn't honest with a person who hates him, then that means A-Rod hasn't totally done his penance quite yet. I'd love to see if Mike Lupica would hold himself to this same standard. Of course he wouldn't. There are separate rules for athletes and Mike Lupica. Mike Lupica hasn't ever had to explain himself to anyone. No, he is the type of person who has others explain themselves TO HIM. He's an insecure bully who can't see past his own ego.

And that really wasn’t the visual he wanted, taking questions from the New York media and the national media, then having to stop for whispered conversations with his current attorney, Jim Sharp, before he might say something contradictory to what he has already told the feds;

And obviously A-Rod might say something contradictory to what he has told the feds, because he is a snitch and a liar. I bet Mike Lupica thinks that A-Rod took PED's given to him by Anthony Bosch, while also lying and framing Bosch for being a drug dealer. I wouldn't doubt that Lupica could hold those two separate, contradictory opinions. It hurts Lupica's little feelings that A-Rod may not owe him an explanation. Because if Lupica is not owed an explanation then that means he isn't as important as he believes himself to be. So like any child who doesn't get his way when he REALLY REALLY wants his way, Lupica throws a fit and accuses Rodriguez of dodging the truth, when in reality Rodriguez doesn't care to tell the media the truth. Mike Lupica doesn't want to be out of the loop or feel like he's less than his ego tells him he is. So naturally, he calls out A-Rod for only telling his story to those people that really matter and not to the media.

“I served the longest suspension in the history of the League for PED use,” he writes.

Which he did and it was cut down from an even longer sentence.

Notice the language here. Rodriguez never uses the word steroids, the way he never used that word back in 2009 when he begged everybody for his first second chance.

Yes, notice how Rodriguez doesn't admit to using the steroids that he didn't use. He used HGH and other PED's as defined by MLB, but not steroids. So yes, I did notice how A-Rod never actually admitted to taking the steroids that he wasn't suspended for taking.

He doesn’t say “my” PED use. Just PED use.

And given the fact he was writing an apology letter for using PED's, it was pretty fucking obvious to only the most thick-headed person that A-Rod was referring to his PED use. In fact, using the word "my" in this sentence would be somewhat redundant. By starting the sentence with "I" then it is clear A-Rod is referring to himself when talking about the suspension for PED use. If you are going to hate on A-Rod at least be good at it and don't sound so desperate. Rodriguez certainly isn't writing an apology letter on someone else's behalf while using the first person.

“I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything I say at this point,” he writes. “I understand and that’s on me.”

There you have it, Rodriguez’s own weird version of accountability.

That really is his accountability. He's taking responsibility for his actions and saying he doesn't blame a person for not believing him. What else would Lupica have A-Rod say? This won't be revealed because Lupica has no idea what his expectations for A-Rod are. He just doesn't like A-Rod and stretches to rip him whenever possible.

Even as he asks the fans to believe how sorry he is for everything he’s done, he admits that the same fans to whom he is speaking probably don’t believe he’s really sorry.

Would Lupica have preferred if A-Rod has written, "You will believe my apology, I am sure of it"? Is that more preferable? Again, we won't ever find out because Mike Lupica has no idea what he wants A-Rod to say. He just doesn't want A-Rod to say what he just said.

It will come out in the ESPN piece written by J.R. Moehringer that Alex is in therapy these days. Of course he is. It is about time, and better late than never, for somebody who really could be the buffet at a psychiatrist’s convention.

Mental health. Always a hilarious topic for a good laugh to break up the seriousness of a grown-ass sportswriter throwing a fit that he wasn't included as a stop on an apology tour. I'm sure Lupica would enjoy a few good hearty jokes at the expense of his family having to deal with his egomania.

"I hear Mike Lupica's daughter is in therapy for anorexia. It's about time, after all the bullshit she's had to eat from her dad's mouth all these years she's bound to just throw up as much as possible."

See? It's all in good fun to make a few jokes about mental health. It's not at all an asshole and mean thing to do.

But nobody gets Rodriguez’s Oprah moment now in some big room or hall or under some circus tent somewhere, with a roomful of Oprah Winfreys firing questions at him the way Oprah fired them at Alex’s patron saint, Lance Armstrong.

Yes, nobody gets the big media event that Alex Rodriguez so obviously owes the world. He wrote a letter stating he was wrong and is trying to move on with his life after serving his suspension in order to cut down on as much of the distractions as possible in order to prepare for the upcoming season. It's a very selfish move. Most players would be lauded for publicly apologizing and then trying to make sure they are as small of a distraction as possible, but for Mike Lupica this is just another strike against A-Rod. He owes the world a circus and it's a mark against his character he won't provide one on demand.

Most of the fans to whom Rodriguez spoke on Tuesday — and from the heart! — are probably wishing that there was some way for Stoudemire to take Alex Rodriguez back to Texas with him.

Snark is fun. I still would love to know what Mike Lupica wanted A-Rod to do. Other than hold a press conference and answer all of the questions that the media isn't entitled to have answered to their own satisfaction of course. A-Rod has told his story to those people who matter, he apologized in cutesy form, and now he has stated he wants to move on. Hate it or love it, doesn't matter.

He writes an open letter the way Ray Rice wrote an open letter in the Baltimore Sun. Rice did it because he needs a job. Rodriguez has one, a real good one with the New York Yankees, at least $61 million still coming to him over the next few years.

So A-Rod didn't have to write the letter, but he did anyway. This is clearly another mark against A-Rod's character that he at least pretended to give a shit. Maybe if Lupica pretended to give a shit about his writing then he wouldn't be seen as the egomaniac bully that he's seen by many in the media as being.

Bosch, his drug dealer? He goes to jail now for 48 months, three months shy of the maximum sentence he could have gotten for operating the kind of drug ring he was operating.

I can't believe this drug dealer got close to the maximum sentence for his crime. Why isn't the court system easier on drug dealers?

The star of that ring, still batting cleanup there, still a big name at Biogenesis, was Alex Rodriguez. He doesn’t go to jail. He goes to spring training. Is this a great country or what?

Apparently Mike Lupica advocates for the drug user to go to jail, while the drug dealer roams free? What a great country this is! A-Rod uses the drugs, but he gets off scot free while the poor innocent guy who dealt the drugs had the book thrown at him. Why can't Mike Lupica live in a world where the authorities ignore cartels and go after the real people who create the drug problem, which is the drug user? Obviously the reason there is a drug problem in the United States is that law enforcement has been going after the people who deal the drugs when they should be going after the people who use the drugs.

Mike Lupica is really working hard to make A-Rod seem like a bad guy. He's taking the side of and advocating for a drug dealer now.

Even after he admitted to being a drug user, he managed to have his best baseball October and lead the Yankees to a World Series. Judge me on what I do going forward, he said back in 2009. That is exactly what everybody has done.

And absolutely judge A-Rod on what he's done since then, which includes his second PED-related offense. He's been judged and punished. He apologized and either accept it and shut up or don't accept it and tell everyone what A-Rod should have done instead of apologize. Oh, and call A-Rod a snitch for ratting on a drug dealer, as if this shows another moral fallacy in his genetic code.

Now he is back, panhandling for redemption and another second chance,

He's making $61 million and doesn't need redemption or a second chance because he's getting one simply because he's making $61 million. That's another point that Lupica misses. A-Rod doesn't need his forgiveness. He doesn't want to be hated, but he isn't Ray Rice trying to get back into the sport. A-Rod is a Yankee because they owe him too much money otherwise. So he doesn't have to apologize and he doesn't have to talk to Mike Lupica about his "story."

trying to make one last first impression, the richest drug informant in all of baseball history.

Boy, Mike Lupica is riding this whole "A-Rod told on a drug dealer" thing hard isn't he? I'm not sure calling A-Rod a snitch will have the effect he wants it to have.

One more record for Alex Rodriguez.

You are a petty, sad man who has mocked A-Rod for apologizing, seeking mental health assistance and think a drug dealer should go to jail for a shorter span of time than a drug user. No one likes A-Rod, but we are stuck with him. No one likes you. Go away. 

7 comments MMQB Review: Peter King Thinks "JFF" Stands for "Johnny F--king Failure"

Don't ask why I curse all the time in my posts but won't curse in my titles. I don't know. 

Peter King wondered last week if J.J. Watt could be the NFL MVP since he plays defense AND is on a team that may not make the playoffs. Everyone knows if you play defense on a losing team there is no way you can be the most valuable player in the NFL. It's impossible. Peter also started what I am assuming will be at least monthly assault on Jadeveon Clowney for underperforming during his rookie season due to injuries, though I don't recall Peter going at Luke Joeckel for playing in only five games in his rookie season with the Jaguars. This week Peter talks about how the type of dramatic, unpredictable football games can only happen in the NFL, talks about the winners and losers from this past week, and haughtily recommends the best wine under $25. It's funny, 97% of the wine purchased is for $10 or less and Peter recommends the best wine under $25, like that's the cheap wine that he wants to recommend to his readers. Ah yes, how the other half lives.

The Season That Went Too Fast
 
A Pro Football Book in Twenty-One Chapters

Chapter Fifteen
 
“Only in AMERICA!” Don King used to bellow, and some story about a long-shot palooka who toiled his way from Loserville to Las Vegas and into a championship fight would spill out of King’s mouth, the drama making it Must-Pay TV. Or so the legendary boxing promoter hoped.

Every single season football writers talk about what a WILD AND CRAZY SEASON THIS HAS BEEN, as if this doesn't happen every season. The NFL is unpredictable and every season is crazy in it's own way. Talking about how this season is an "Only in the NFL!" season is pretty standard. Craziness and unpredictability is the standard. So I do wish sportswriters would stop being surprised when unexpected things happen.

Weren’t we all thinking a few days ago that the road to the Super Bowl in the NFC would lead through Green Bay?

Nope. I had Seattle and Philadelphia as the two best teams in the NFC during the preseason and wasn't moving from that simply because a new and shiny team caught my attention. Life is really very simple when not making knee-jerk reactions.

I asked a friend of mine who gambles a lot: If Seattle and Green Bay met in the playoffs, with neither team changing appreciably between now and then, what would be the difference in the spread if the game were played at CenturyLink Field in Seattle versus Lambeau Field in Green Bay. He thought for a minute, then said: “Packers by five at Lambeau. Seahawks by seven in Seattle.”

I don't gamble, but that spread in Seattle seems high, even knowing the Seahawks beat the Packers handily at home in the first game of the season.

And this is why every chapter in The Season That Went Too Fast has some Grisham in it, 
 
By "some Grisham" Peter means "going to bat for pedophiles who like child porn"?

some element you never, ever expected:

Every NFL season has an element "we" would never expect. Every season.

Buffalo 21, Green Bay 13. Marcus Thigpen and Bacarri Rambo, men no one in Wisconsin had heard of at noon Sunday, playing the big roles in sending the Packers trudging back to the Tundra.

Considering Thigpen went to Indiana University, I think fans in Wisconsin probably have heard of him. But of course, if the great Peter King hasn't heard of these players then obviously no one else has either.

Seattle 17, San Francisco 7. Which figured. So now it could be setting up for the playoff road to go through Seattle.

Predictability would be different.

Only in the NFL!

Let's marvel every NFL season at how unpredictable the NFL season is!

Week 15 winners
 
Detroit. Another day, another dogfight for a confusing offense, another win (Lions 16, Vikes 14). The Lions have been held under 275 yards four times in the past 10 games. But they’ve survived, and they’ll be in the playoffs with two more wins.

I bashed the Lions' hiring of Jim Caldwell and I really don't know if I'm wrong. Next season at this time I think I will know if I'm wrong or not. Two seasons under Caldwell should be a decent way of determining if I was wrong about him. Considering the Lions haven't been an offensive juggernaut this year at times, I feel pretty good about my initial feeling on Caldwell. Of course, he does have meals with his players, so that counts for something.

Dallas. Imagine if the Cowboys lost at Philadelphia.

I can't imagine this. The results are too terrible for the human mind to wrap itself around.

The loser of the NFC East showdown for first place would face a serious chance of not making the playoffs. Jerry Jones hasn’t re-signed coach Jason Garrett yet, and with Indianapolis and Andrew Luck coming to town this week, finishing 10-6 and out of the playoffs would have been a real possibility. (It’s still no lock Dallas will make it, because finishing tied with Philadelphia at 11-5 would give the division to the Eagles on the basis of Philadelphia’s better division record.) It’s highly likely Garrett will continue—Jones loves him and thinks he’s got the perfect temperament to be the long-term coach—but another crushing loss in a division title game for the fourth year in a row would have left ownership grasping for answers. Would Jones have considered a run at a Sean Payton or a John Harbaugh? 

Sean Payton, yes? John Harbaugh? I'm pretty sure the Ravens aren't letting Harbaugh go after the season. Though if Peter has heard there will be shakeups on the Ravens' roster, and much like he thought they wouldn't re-sign Joe Flacco two years ago, this leads him to think the Ravens will get rid of John Harbaugh.

Now Jim Harbaugh? Yes, do it. I want to see Jerry Jones work with Jim Harbaugh. This has to happen.

Doubtful, but the 38-27 win, Garrett’s biggest in his five-year tenure,

Not that Peter is being knee-jerk of course.

The AFC North. “This is the craziest division I have ever seen,” Terrell Suggs said from Baltimore Sunday.

(Bengoodfella dies of hyperbole-related symptoms)

Carolina. Derek Anderson is 2-0 against Tampa Bay this year, and that’s what has Carolina in first place in the NFC South at 5-8-1.

Skinniest kids at fat camp, people! In your face rest of the NFC South!

New Orleans re-takes first in the moribund division with a win at Chicago tonight (hardly the surest thing),

And they did.

Who will quarterback Carolina against Cleveland at home, then in the finale at Atlanta?

I DON'T KNOW! I CAN'T HANDLE THE DRAMA!

There are two options, either Cam Newton or Derek Anderson, but who knows what will happen? The NFL is SO unpredictable. It could be Steve Beuerlein! The point is, Peter doesn't know right now! It's too early to tell.

Marcus Mariota. The Jets won, meaning he doesn’t have to think of going to the vortex of pain and tabloid embarrassment that has eaten alive so many young quarterbacks. And the Bucs lost, meaning Tampa Bay is number one in line for Mariota, the Heisman winner and by far safest quarterback prospect.

Peter King, NFL Draft Scout M.D.

No one is saying it’s a cinch, but Tampa Bay—with two very good receivers, a good young tight end, a smart front office and a stay-the-course coach in Lovie Smith—gives a young quarterback as good a chance as anywhere to be able to reach his potential.

Greg Schiano would have had the Buccaneers in the Super Bowl this season if it weren't for that meddling Josh Freeman who screwed everything up.

Week 15 Losers

Green Bay. One ugly afternoon took the Packers from the two seed in the NFC to six. And it won’t be easy to get back up there. Wins in the next two games would do it, but beating Detroit at home in Week 17 means beating the team that has beaten you by 30 and 12 in your last two meetings. That last game could leave Green Bay battered, without a bye and on the road for the playoffs.

Which is the exact road they used to win the Super Bowl several years ago. Wait, am I not supposed to talk about real life and instead go into a panic about what terrible shape the Packers could be in? Gotcha.

THE PACKERS LOST! HOW WILL THEY EVER RECOVER? WHAT IF THEY HAVE TO GO ON THE ROAD IN THE PLAYOFFS? THEY'LL NEVER WIN A SUPER BOWL THAT WAY! EVERYBODY STAY CALM AND PANIC!

It's like Peter can't remember what happened just a few short years ago. Sure, the Packers want homefield advantage, but it's not like they haven't won a Super Bowl by winning on the road in the playoffs.

In all likelihood, Green Bay making the Super Bowl now depends on winning the last two and then winning at an unfriendly place like Seattle or Arizona for all the NFC marbles.

They have Aaron Rodgers. I'm not worried.

Joe Philbin. His Dolphins collapsed down the stretch last year, scoring seven points total in season-ending losses to the Bills and Jets. This year Miami has lost three of the last four, including Sunday’s no-show 41-13 loss at New England that gave the Patriots the AFC East title, again. Miami’s playoff hopes are on life support at 7-7, a month after being in the hunt at 6-4. Now the drumbeat will grow louder that owner Stephen Ross will go hard

That's disgusting Peter. This is a family column.

after Jim Harbaugh again, and is there any doubt he’d pay the compensation to San Francisco to get Harbaugh?

Oh, nevermind. Much like Peter shouldn't make knee-jerk reactions after one game, I should finish the sentence that Peter has written.

Hey, since the Cowboys may go after John Harbaugh, perhaps the Dolphins should give him a look-see too. Or the Dolphins could just go after the one that got away a few years ago, Jeff Fisher.

Johnny Manziel and hope in Cleveland. All along, Manziel held out the prospect of the big surprise, the quarterback to ride in on the steed to save the franchise. Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, “We should have listened to Merril Hoge.” 

Manziel may be terrible, but give the guy more than one start to prove it. Geez, what's with the knee-jerk reactions and overreactions in MMQB over this past year? Maybe Peter always wrote like this and I just forgot, but he's got a severe case of overreacting this season. A team has a good/bad game and Peter either puts that team in the Super Bowl or as receiving a Top 10 pick. Give Manziel another few starts and an entire another offseason of work in the Browns' offense.

Pettine was heartbroken, which I am sure mirrored the emotion of his city. It’s another wait-till-next-year situation in Cleveland, and a cautionary tale for Manziel: Get to work. Nothing is going to be handed to you. Become a student of the game. It’s too early to write Manziel off. (Really? One game is too soon?)

Peter, you say one game is too early to write Manziel off, but you also just wrote "Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, 'We should have listened to Merril Hoge.'" Manziel may be terrible, but one game isn't going to be the determination and saying "hope" in Cleveland is the loser in this situation is beginning to write Manziel off too early.

There will at least be a Manning-Brady XVII.

Oh thank God. I can put off jumping into a volcano for another year because I have something to live for now.

The Seattle Effect. “It’ll be interesting to see how Philadelphia comes out of the Seattle game physically,’’ said one Dallas Cowboy last week, before his team’s trip to Philadelphia for the Sunday night game. This player remembered how physically spent the Cowboys were after playing Settle earlier in the year,

I need an editor here, STAT!

The Eagles are the eighth team in a row to lose the week after playing Seattle; Philadelphia, San Francisco, Arizona, Kansas City, the New York Giants, Oakland, Carolina and St. Louis all lost the week after playing the Seahawks.

Gregg Easterbrook is totally stealing this fact for the next TMQ.

Why players want to play for Bruce Arians. The Arizona coach said this to Ryan Lindley, the backup to the backup, when No. 2 quarterback Drew Stanton went down with a knee injury Thursday night at St. Louis: “I trust you. Don’t be a game manager. Be a game winner.” Lindley didn’t play particularly well—he completed four of 10 passes in the 12-6 Arizona win—but a win’s a win,

Which is what is said when a team wins a game despite having shitty quarterback play. Yes, I'm still hating on the Cardinals' quarterback situation. Sportswriters always have to have a narrative or reason handy for why a team won and when they have no idea (it was the Cardinals' defense) they just chalk it up to nothing. A win is a win and let's give credit for Ryan Lindley for not fucking it up.

With Stanton likely out for this week and two or three more with strained knee ligaments, the Cardinals seem likely to go with Lindley, and maybe with a package of plays for the rookie quarterback who is more mobile, Logan Thomas. “We’ll figure something out,’’ said Arians. “We’ll just keep on swinging, scratching out points.” Worked pretty well so far.

But can the Cardinals win a Super Bowl with Ryan Lindley and Logan Thomas? That's all I want to know. Someone ask Bruce Arians this question.

Not a great week for the top candidates, but I’m not changing much from last week—just subbing Andrew Luck for DeMarco Murray.
 
1. Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay. First mulligan since Week 3 at Detroit. I’m sticking with the best player in football as the most valuable.
 
2. J.J. Watt, DE, Houston. Now with 16.5 sacks, five in the past two weeks. Just unstoppable.

J.J. Watt will never be #1 in Peter's MVP standings. Even after last week when Peter tried to lay out a reason why Watt could win MVP, Peter lacks the intestinal fortitude to actually put Watt as his MVP. It's a bold cowardice. He gives Watt a ribbon by putting him #2, but I'll be shocked, shocked, shocked if Watt ever ends up #1 by the end of the season in Peter's MVP rankings. You know what, the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl with Drew Stanton as their quarterback before Peter King has J.J. Watt as his MVP.

Chris Harris Jr.: The Player You Need to Know This Week

Harris, who quietly has become one of the best cornerbacks in football, signed a five-year, $42.5-million contract with the Broncos late Friday,

Thank God I have been alerted to Chris Harris Jr. this week. I personally don't know any NFL players until Peter acknowledges their existence to me.

Year	LCB	RCB	Slot CB	Safety	Total snaps	Pro Football Focus CB rank
2011	41	14	463	54	572	19
2012	137	149	610	121	1,017	4
2013	252	80	642	112	1,086	10
2014	24	439	309	61	833	1
TOTAL	454	682	2,024	348	3,508	2

What makes the contract, and Harris’ play this season, all the more impressive is that eight months before opening day this fall, he wrecked his knee. In the divisional playoff game against San Diego, Harris tore the ACL in his left knee. Amazingly, 31 weeks after the Feb. 6 surgery, he suited up and played 39 of 76 snaps in the Denver season-opener. By October, he was an every-down player again.

It's amazing how medical advances have helped the human body recover so quickly from ACL tears isn't it? I say this with the slightest bit of sarcasm along with absolute zero knowledge of medicine and whether it is possible for the human body to recover from an injury in 8 months that used to take 12 months to recover from.

Getting a young cover corner for his prime seasons, and having him locked up through 2019 is a smart move by Elway. For Harris, a veteran of one knee surgery already, he gets less than he could have gotten had he ever hit the market in March … but he gets to play without worry of injury the rest of this year, and he gets to stay in Denver, where the defense fits him. 

Coming off an ACL surgery, I would personally have taken the contract. Maybe I'm not bold enough, but after having rehabbed a major knee injury, I think I'd want to get paid now just in case it happens again.

Four points to make in the wake of the new Personal Conduct Policy, the denial of the Adrian Peterson appeal, the future of football in Los Angeles, and the relationship between the players and owners:

The league hopes to hire what it is calling a special counsel for investigations and conduct to lord over the process of this new personal conduct policy. This person, likely a former judge, former prosecutor or former top law-enforcement official, will have a staff to judge early on whether a player should be taken off the field while an investigation is happening. But the process will still be fraught with difficulty. There will be false accusations, stale accusations, accusations not made that should have been made because of threats against spouses or partners. What happens during the season when a potentially serious accusation is made, and the special counsel has to decide if the player should be taken off the field immediately or allowed to play in a game that week?

It's a decent point from Peter. I think this special counsel will just err on the side of caution and remove the player from the field. These are the types of things that happen when over-correction occurs. Goodell wants to prove he cares, so he sets up a labyrinth system of checks to make sure players don't play while being accused of a crime as proof of his caring. All he's doing is taking the burden off him and placing it on someone else. That's my view.

I think Adrian Peterson should have been reinstated. When the arbitrator in the Peterson case, Harold Henderson, issued his ruling upholding Peterson’s ban Friday, a few things were given short shrift. Before this season, the suspension for domestic or family violence was never longer than two games and most often a fine or one game. Peterson is 29 years old. He will miss at least 15 games (with most of them treated as paid leave), and those are games he can never get back. He’s not like a 29-year-old teacher who can miss three months and get right back to teaching.

Yes, poor Adrian Peterson. How's he expected to make enough money to survive if he can't play football? I get that Peterson's penalty is probably too severe, but to compare Peterson to a teacher like he doesn't have enough money earned over his career to retire right now is just typical Peter King-type thinking. Yes, a teacher can get right back to teaching, but Adrian Peterson has to work hard and maybe he'll catch on with an NFL team. If this doesn't happen then he'll just go about his life with enough money to go about his life and not have to worry about working. You know, the exact opposite of what would happen to a 29 year old teacher.

It strikes me as excessive. Now: Peterson didn’t do himself any favors. He should have pled his case in the appeals process if he truly wanted to play this year. I still don’t understand why he didn’t.

Probably the same reason he beat the shit out of his kid with a switch after suffering the death of a child from a beating last season.

Regarding Los Angeles… “There’s a schism about what to do in Los Angeles,’’ said one source with knowledge of L.A. effort. “The big issue is not only whether it should be one or two teams, and where the team or teams will be, but also which franchise should get the first shot? There is sentiment that [Rams owner] Stan Kroenke shouldn’t have the first shot. The Raiders are in horrible shape. The Chargers have a terrible stadium. In St. Louis, the city is trying at least to find a solution.”

I think there should be a television show where these three teams compete to play in Los Angeles. They can each argue about how badly they are being treated by their respective cities and then a winner will be chosen by the viewing public. I like how because the Raiders are in terrible shape, this means they should get one of the first shots at playing in Los Angeles.

THE FINE FIFTEEN

1. New England (11-3). Dominating performance puts them first. Winners of nine of 10, with the narrow loss at Green Bay the only blemish. Sign of a Ridiculously Good Franchise Dept.: The Patriots won their 11th AFC East title in the past 12 seasons on Sunday.

Is the Patriot Way still working? Once the Patriots lose another football game or in the playoffs, I can't wait for this question to get asked once again.

3. Green Bay (10-4). Not to rain on the Super Bowl parade or anything, but that was the first grim performance by Aaron Rodgers in, like, forever.

So, like, that obviously means it's a sign of things to come and not an anomaly, right? Aaron Rodgers had a grim performance so that must mean the rest of his performances will be equally as grim this season. Logically.

At all. Green Bay at Tampa Bay on Sunday. Rodgers has played there twice, in 2008 and 2009. Lost twice. Completed 50 percent of his throws in the two games, with four touchdowns and six picks, and a 54.6 rating at the Pirate Ship.

And I'm sure it's the stadium and not the team that was the issue for Rodgers when he played there five and six seasons ago. Because the Buccaneers current defense directly resembles the defense they had in 2008 and 2009.

7. Detroit (10-4). Another touchdown catch for Golden Tate in the 16-14 win over Minnesota. Tate has been a total surprise. He’s going to end up with 100 receptions. (He has 91 now.) Imagine this: Tate has more catches per game, on average (6.5), than Calvin Johnson (5.6)—and that accounts for Johnson missing three games with injury. Divide Johnson’s 61 catches by 11, and Tate’s 91 catches by 14, and Tate’s been more productive per game.

Thank you for teaching your readers how to do basic division in order to get an average, Peter. God knows most of America would be lost if you weren't here to provide statistics and then explain how you arrived at those statistics. I know I read that Tate had more catches per game than Johnson on average and was all like, "HOW ON EARTH DID THIS NUMBERS WIZARD MAKE THESE MEANINGFUL STATISTICS POPULATE AS IF OUT OF THIN AIR?" Then Peter explained how to divide and it made complete sense to me.

9. Philadelphia (9-5). Bradley Cooper sure looked sad sitting in Jeffrey Lurie’s box, his beloved Philadelphia Silverliningplaybooks down 21-7 to the Cowboys in the second quarter. Cooper was dancing in the second half, but Mark Sanchez just couldn’t make enough plays to win this one.

Am I reading "US Weekly for Teens" now?

"Bradley Cooper was sad because the Eagles were losing. Spies for 'US Weekly for Teens' say that Cooper danced at one point during the game, but Hayden Panettiere's ex-boyfriend just couldn't pull the Eagles through and keep Cooper dancing. Observers said that Cooper looked to be having a good time and took pictures with fans."

10. Cincinnati (9-4-1). No idea how I rate the Bengals two slots higher than Pittsburgh, which beat Cincinnati by 21 in Ohio last week. It’s just about a week-to-week coin flip right now.

Peter King's Fine Fifteen rankings everyone! They mean nothing, but Peter still feels the need to write them every week. This column isn't going to bloat itself you know.

14. Kansas City (8-6). Broke a three-game skid with a rout of the Raiders. One of the strangest stats in recent history—a team can be 8-6 in this era of football with no touchdowns caught by a wideout—has surprisingly not crippled the Chiefs, though Dwayne Bowe’s ho-hum season is a major surprise.

Bowe's ho-hum season is a surprise with a quarterback who can't throw a touchdown to a receiver as the one tossing him the pigskin? Otherwise, is Bowe's season a surprise? He hasn't exceeded 1,000 yards receiving since 2011.

Coaches of the Week

Bruce Arians, head coach, Arizona. Not to make these awards a clean Cardinal sweep, but to have the Arizona Cardinals tied for the best record in the NFL after 15 weeks, with Drew Stanton and Ryan Lindley playing quarterback, and hanging in to beat a St. Louis team that had won the previous two games by shutout … well, you can see why Arians is so revered inside the Cardinals’ building and outside the building by a growing legion of fans.

Coach of the Year should be Arians' for the taking. Of course I have to piss on this win a little bit. The Cardinals only had 274 yards of offense and the Rams didn't exactly light up the scoreboard either. Six of the points the Cardinals scored were the result of a fumble by the Rams and a 36-yard pass interference call that put the Cardinals right in field goal range. I'm not taking anything away from them, but the Cardinals had to settle for field goals all night. I'm very worried about them in the playoffs if they don't score touchdowns.

My point is that the Cardinals are averaging 12.8 points and 289 yards per game (If I were Peter King, I would explain to you how I got an average) in the five games since Carson Palmer went down for the season. The 289 yards per game would put the Cardinals at 31st in the NFL in total offense, just above the Raiders, and 12.8 points per game would put them 32nd in the NFL in scoring per game. That's not going to win a Super Bowl, especially with a banged-up defense. Arians deserves Coach of the Year, but the Cardinals are in deep shit if they can't muster up more offense.

Goat of the Week

Johnny Manziel, quarterback, Cleveland.

I'm not going to defend Manziel's performance, but this seems a little unfair. It was his first start in the NFL and he went against a reasonably good Bengals defense. Calling him a "goat" seems like the type of knee-jerk conclusion that Peter warns his readers against reaching.

First time in memory I had Goat of the Week locked at 2:23 p.m. Eastern Time. 

Remember this is the same guy who wrote it was too early to write Manziel off. It took Peter less than an hour and a half into the Week 15 games to decide who the "Goat of the Week" will be.

This game showed many things, among them that Manziel had better start spending a lot more time studying his craft. The entire game had the feel of fool’s gold, with the Browns, for the moment, feeling fooled by Manziel in his first NFL start. He was 10 of 18 for 80 yards, with no touchdowns and two picks, a 27.3 rating … with just 13 yards rushing on five scrambles. An awful opener for the 22nd pick in the 2014 draft.

Of course if the Browns had won the game then "a win is a win" and Manziel would be praised for doing something right. It doesn't matter really. It was one game and there is a reason the Browns didn't have Manziel start the season at quarterback.

For the Baltimore Ravens to be 9-5 this morning, and for the franchise to be in position to win its third AFC North title in four years, is a pretty amazing thing, considering 17 of the 22 starters from the team that won the Super Bowl 22 months ago are new.

I'm still laughing at the "changes" being alluded to by the Ravens organization after winning the Super Bowl which Peter took to believe the Ravens may not be interested in re-signing Joe Flacco. I think everyone except Peter knew this meant the team would part ways with older players and start over at several positions on the roster. But now, Peter is all like, "LOOK AT HOW THE RAVENS TURNED THEIR ROSTER OVER!" as if this weren't the plan the Ravens had all along. Kudos to the Ravens for making it work so far, but I still chuckle a bit at Peter's misunderstanding of what these changes and difficult decisions really meant.

Super Bowl XLVII Starters		2014 Week 14 Starters
	OFFENSE
Torrey Smith	WR	Torrey Smith
Anquan Boldin	WR	Marlon Brown
Jacoby Jones	WR	Steve Smith
Bryant McKinnie	T	Eugene Monroe
Kelechi Osemele	G	Kelechi Osemele
Matt Birk	C	Jeremy Zuttah
Marshal Yanda	G	Marshal Yanda
Michael Oher	T	Rick Wagner
Joe Flacco	QB	Joe Flacco
Ray Rice	RB	Justin Forsett
Vonta Leach	FB/TE	Owen Daniels
	DEFENSE
Terrell Suggs	Rusher	Terrell Suggs
Haloti Ngata	DL	Elvis Dumervil
Arthur Jones	DL	Chris Canty
Ma’ake Kemoeatu	DL	Brandon Williams
Dannell Ellerbe	LB	C.J. Mosley
Ray Lewis	LB	Daryl Smith
Courtney Upshaw	LB/S	Jeromy Miles
Corey Graham	CB	Asa Jackson
Cary Williams	CB	Lardarius Webb
Ed Reed	FS	Will Hill
Bernard Pollard	SS	Matt Elam

The Ravens saw a chance with the retirement of veterans like Ray Lewis and the pending free agency of Ed Reed to remake the team. They have done a really good job so far. But still, I chuckle at what Peter thought the remaking of the Ravens' roster meant.

Rambo has out-Ramboed Rambo
— Sam Farmer (@LATimesfarmer) December 14, 2014

I don't know why Peter felt this should be considered a "Tweet of the Week." It doesn't make sense, because Rambo is a fictional ex-Vietnam vet who killed people in movies trying to save others, while Bacarri Rambo is a football player. It just doesn't make sense AND seems to lack a little funny.

TEN THINGS I THINK I THINK

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 15:

b. Detroit safety Glover Quin, the Pro Bowl protester, with a vital interception of Teddy Bridgewater.

c. And a beautiful interception by Darius Slay, also off Bridgewater.

Mike Mayock was right! Teddy Bridgewater just absolutely sucks.

f. Eight sacks by the Ravens. Timmy Jernigan, Pernell McPhee … you have officially been introduced to America.

Yep, I knew who they were prior to this introduction when they were attending Mississippi State and Florida State. But now that Peter has mentioned them and helped introduce them to America, I guess they officially now exist.

s. Josh McCown making it a game, late, in Carolina.

I don't understand what this means. Tampa Bay scored 10 points in the first half and 7 in the second half. I guess that Peter likes how Josh McCown ran the final drive of the game for the Buccaneers when Carolina was happy to watch the Buccaneers eat clock up while trying to score. If anything, Peter should like McCown's scrambling ability for the touchdown. Maybe THAT is what Peter is referring to here.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 15:

a. Johnny Football.

You don't say? Why hasn't Peter mentioned this in MMQB before now?

i. For his talent, Andrew Luck makes some dumb throws.

Skip Bayless wants to know why Peter King is putting Andrew Luck in the Hall of Fame already? Because one time in a bowl game, Brandon Weeden played as well as Andrew Luck did. So there's that and it definitely means something.

Nobody is supposed to talk about Andrew Luck making dumb throws. It's against the rules, plus he has 38 touchdown passes this year, so that sort of overshadows the bad throws.

l. Here’s the deal, Bucs: You put either the entire throwback uniform on, or the modern one. You can’t mix them. Orange socks do not go with a red and white uniform.

Peter King, Fashion Maven M.D.

3. I think I have a difficult question for you in the Bay Area to answer this morning: Which 36^th overall pick in the draft would you rather build your franchise around: Colin Kaepernick (2011) or Derek Carr (2014)? I think there would have been no question about that in August. Slam dunk. But with Kaepernick’s maturation as a player put in serious questions this season, now it’s a contest.

I wonder how Ron Jaworski feels about Colin Kaepernick now? I'm not sure I wouldn't choose Kaepernick to be the quarterback I build the franchise around. I will have to see more about David Carr. That's the fun part about questions like this. They can change from year-to-year...or month-to-month as the case may be with Peter.

4. I think when we hear about knee surgeries, we just assume that players go in and have the surgery done and in seven or eight months they’ll be as good as new...As concerning, or more so, is the microfracture surgery for Houston rookie pass-rusher Jadeveon Clowney. Microfracture is no slam-dunk, especially for a speed rusher.

I'm telling you, Jadeveon Clowney is well on his way to being Josh Freeman'd by Peter King. It's starting already. He's calling Clowney a "speed rusher" and is preparing for him to never be the same again after microfracture surgery.

Indianapolis tackle Gosder Cherilus, who has had the surgery, told the Indianapolis Star of Clowney: “He’s screwed. His game is all about explosion. That’s a problem. I’m out there dancing. I’m an offensive lineman. That’s a different ballgame. He’s screwed. I’m just being honest.” The Texans have to be concerned about whether Clowney can come back to be the same player, regardless what they say publicly.

No Peter, I bet the Texans aren't concerned at all about their top pick needing major knee surgery. They probably are laughing about it right now and making jokes to each other about the situation.

Peter is getting ready for Clowney to be a bust as the #1 overall draft pick. I can feel it in my bones.

9. I think this is why the crown-of-the-helmet-into-Russell Wilson was called Sunday, giving the Seahawks a fresh set of downs at a critical time late in their win over the Niners: Prohibited contact against a defenseless player, which includes a player in the act of passing or just after releasing a pass, came into play on this call. Wilson, in this case, was a defenseless player.

I don't know. The NFL does a lot to protect quarterbacks and I get the point, but sometimes it annoys me. Derek Anderson got a hand to the facemask on Sunday and a penalty was called. He was hit in the face, but it certainly didn't seem like it hurt or put his health in danger. So in the situation Peter is describing, it seemed pretty close to a penalty on the 49ers defender, but it's nearly impossible to tell for sure.

According to strict interpretation of the rules: “Lowering the head and making forcible contact with the top/crown or forehead/”hairline” parts of the helmet against any part of the defenseless player’s body” is illegal. The officials ruled Wilson was struck with the helmet either at the hairline or crown level. It’s close, very close. I watched the replay at least 10 times and it’s hard to tell if the helmet was in the right position or not.

Maybe the NFL should make penalties like this reviewable since it had an impact on the game. Hell, just make everything reviewable.

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

g. Re the SONY hack: I have changed my email password six times in the last week. And I believe it doesn’t matter.

Wouldn't it be fun to read emails that are leaked from Peter King's inbox? I'm sure there is some haughty and uppity shit that he leaves out of MMQB, but he shared with friends and family. I imagine Peter has some email screeds about people who take too long to order at Starbucks or wonder why everyone slows down to look at Christmas lights. Those leaked emails would be interesting to read. I wonder how many he gets from Brett Favre in a given month?

h. Really bright to skip your team’s fan festival, Bryce Harper, because of a contract dispute. That scores lots of points with fans.

Welp, he got a two year contract extension and they love him again.

i. The Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year event last Tuesday was memorable.

Naming Madison Bumgarner "Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year" is a very "Sports Illustrated" thing for them to do.

k. Coffeenerdness: Here’s what I don’t get when I bring my reusable grande cup into Starbucks and ask for a triple grande macchiato:

Seriously, imagine the shit that Peter King writes which he doesn't share with the general public. It probably makes inconsequential bitching like what you are about to read look like a major conflict that must immediately be resolved.

Most baristas take a small cup, brew the three shots of espresso, pour them on top of the foamed milk, then throw the little cup away. Not using the normal espresso shot glasses sort of defeats the purpose of using the same grande cup over and over, right?

Yes, it might defeat the purpose. Wouldn't the barista have to constantly wash the espresso shot glasses over and over after using them though? Wouldn't this require wasting water to do AND it could also cause there to be a backup during peak times because Starbucks doesn't have a hundred espresso shot glasses they can use for this purpose?

I think Peter should take this issue up with Starbucks. I'm sure they will put it at the top of their priority list.

l. Beernerdness: Don’t have a new beer for you this week, but I will throw in my vote for the best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon out there: Simi Alexander Valley Cab.

The best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon, huh? It's for those middle class people who read Peter's column that may not want to spend more than $25 on a bottle of wine. After all, Peter hears that some people in the United States have a budget they stick to, so they have to go for the cheaper wines, like something under $25.

I simply love that Peter recommends a wine under $25. I can't figure out if he thinks that this is a "budget" wine or what. Seriously, 97% of the wine sold is under $10 and Peter is giving tips for $25-and-under wines. I'm not sure when the last time he lived in the real world was.

o. Perfect metaphor for the New York Mets: While much of the rest of baseball made mega moves at the winter meetings last week, the Mets signed a platoon outfielder (maybe) who batted .212 for Toronto and Philadelphia last year, John Mayberry.

Remember the big moves the Royals and Giants made last year prior to and during the winter meetings? Oh, you don't? It's probably because this isn't the best way to determine which team will have success during the upcoming season.

p. Re the Red Sox: I have tremendous respect for Jon Lester, and gratitude for what he has done for the franchise. But I’m very much on board with not paying a pitcher who will be 31 in January $26 million a year for six years … I do not support paying Cole Hamels $22 million a year for the next five years plus the surrender of two prime prospects … I’d wait for a Johnny Cueto type in free agency next year, when the pitching crop will be richer, or at the trading deadline this year

How much money does Peter think Johnny Cueto is going to try and get in free agency? He'll be 29 years old when he signs his next contract and he's made 30+ career starts in five of his seven seasons, plus statistically he's only improving. How much money does Peter think Cueto is going to fetch if he has another season like his 2014 season? I'm guessing he's going to try and get somewhere around $22 million per year.

Who I Like Tonight

Chicago 24, New Orleans 20. Though I have no idea why.

Thanks for contributing.

The Adieu Haiku
Aaron Kromer blabs. Cutler forgives. So he says.
Forget? No way, Jay.

Why should Cutler forget? Sure, the Bears may regret that contract extension, but to have his offensive coordinator be the source for this report? That's bullshit and something close to career suicide. Fortunately for Kromer, it happened to Jay Cutler so the media isn't going to go to bat for him. If this happens to a more well-liked quarterback you can bet it would be more than a footnote in Peter's Adieu Haiku. Peter would go all-in on Kromer if he was the source bashing a quarterback that Peter and the media really likes. 

6 comments The Kansas City Royals Are Making Sportswriters Go Insane and Write Crazy Things

I'm not sure if you have heard, but the Royals are in the World Series. I know, anyone who follows sports probably could have easily missed this story, but it's a factual one. Anyone can read the plethora of Royals stories out there which try so hard to create narratives and take disconnected events and tie them into a larger story. You can read Jason Whitlock say "Sure, Ned Yost sucks" but that means he's the perfect manager for this team. You can read other sportswriters point out that Yost is the answer to prayers from the anti-Saber crowd. But there are also slightly crazier articles that try to point out exactly which team this 2014 Royals team reminds the author of. Again, we are creating narratives here, so the mere suggestion the Royals were six outs away of not winning the Wild Card game is not acceptable. Only comparisons to previous World Series-winning teams and calling the Royals a team of destiny are accepted.

Tracy Ringolsby provides the most embarrassing headline. It says, I kid you not, "Like '85 Champs, Royals Know How to Win." This is essentially a "fuck it" headline. He can't explain why the team is winning, so fuck it, he'll just say the Royals know how to win games. When in doubt without an explanation, just make something up.

It turns out this squad has a lot in common with the Royals team from 29 years ago, which apparently was an untalented team who just "knew how to win" as well.

Twenty-nine years later, the Kansas City Royals have returned to the World Series. Shows how fickle baseball can be.

Or how bad the Royals have been in the interim. The 2014 postseason was the first postseason in over two decades where either the Yankees, Red Sox and Braves weren't represented. So baseball is fickle, but then not really fickle.

When the Royals hoisted that World Series championship trophy back in 1985, it was the seventh postseason appearance in 10 years. It wasn't that those Royals were dominating. They simply knew how to win.

There's no such thing as "knowing how to win." There is such a thing called "Having a good team and using the players on that team to win games." Saying a team "knows how to win" is probably the least analytical, most brain-dead way possible to explain a team's success.

It showed that postseason. The Royals rallied from 3-1 deficits in both the American League Championship Series, against the Blue Jays, and the World Series, against the Cardinals, becoming the first team to lose the first two games at home and rally to become World Series champions.

Did the Royals just forget how to win for a few games, then remember again, just in time to win the series? After all, if the 1985 Royals knew how to win then why didn't they put this knowledge to work before going down 3-1? Let me guess, they just wanted a challenge?

What is known is after Jorge Orta was called safe at first base, Steve Balboni hit a foul pop up that Cardinals first baseman Jack Clark watched drop to the ground. Balboni took advantage of the gift and eventually singled, moving Orta to second. After Jim Sundberg's sacrifice-bunt attempt was turned into a force of Orta at third,

Small-ball fail! This is a blatant small-ball fail!

The Royals had set the stage for the World Series in the ALCS. After losing the first two games at Toronto, they pulled out a 6-5 victory in Game 3, which became known as the game George Brett refused to lose.

This is as opposed to Games 1 and 2 which George Brett reluctantly conceded he wouldn't mind losing. After all, he knows how to win, so he can just do that anytime he wants.

Brett homered in the first for a 1-0 lead. He doubled and scored on a White sacrifice fly in the fourth for a 2-0 lead. Brett belted a two-run homer in the sixth to tie the game at 5. He hit a leadoff single in the eighth and then scored the game-winning run on a Balboni single.

"Refused to lose" = "Had a great night hitting the baseball"

Also, if George Brett was part of a Royals team that knew how to win, why hasn't he passed this knowledge down to the current Royals team prior to this year? This seems like really, really important information that he would want to pass on as quickly as possible to Royals teams for generations to come.

On a team short with power, Balboni, who was acquired from the Yankees, had one assignment -- swing hard and hit home runs. The 36 home runs Balboni hit in 1985 are still the franchise record.

Since these two Royals teams are so similar, who is the Balboni of the current Royals team? I mean, after all, these two teams are mirror images of each other because they both know how to win. I know how to win too. Score more runs than the opposing team.

"If we are within three games by Sept. 1, we are the division champions," McRae had said in late July.

Why?

"We know how to play in September, they don't," McRae said in reference to other AL West teams.

Much like the current Royals team knows how to play in October and other teams don't. Make moves that strategically look stupid, but count on the opposing team to screw up or just figure out how to win and score runs. Just figure it out. It can't be that hard.

Steve Farr was called up from Triple-A the day after a two-day August strike. He said he realized things were different with Kansas City the first game he was in uniform.

In the ninth inning, Detroit's Johnny Grubb doubled off Saberhagen to right-center.

"Willie [Wilson] has to catch that," Farr remembers muttering in the bullpen.

"Sabes has to finish off that pitch," said Quisenberry.

"The point was made," said Farr. "This wasn't about what any one player did. This was about what we did."

And that's how to win. I have no idea how the 2014 Royals are like the 1985 Royals and I suspect Tracy Ringolsby doesn't either. It sure made for a good headline when he had no other clue what to write about.

Their job was to win, no matter what the obstacle.

The Royals handled their job well.

And that's how to win. Just win. Just like the current Royals team is doing. There's no secret, know your job and go do it. Most other MLB teams don't know it's their job to win.

Terence Moore doesn't think the Royals look like the 1985 Royals at all. He thinks the Royals look like the 1969 Miracle Mets. I think Ringoslby and Moore should have a hyperbole-off to see which person is making the correct comparison. Because obviously the Royals can't just be the 2014 Royals, they have to be directly comparable to a baseball team from the past.

You watch the Royals shock reality these days, and you recall 45 years ago, when America featured everything from the dramatic to the improbable.

Yes, I do. I remember those days when I was negative years old very fondly. Back then, I didn't have to read articles forcing a comparison of one sports team to another.

"You had the Vietnam War and protesters everywhere, and the economy was booming," Ron Swoboda said, sounding like the definitive voice for 1969 over the phone from his home in New Orleans. "There was the aftermath of the death of Martin Luther King Jr. and the ongoing Civil Rights movement. You had Woodstock, and you even had a man walking on the moon."

Swoboda chuckled, and then he added, "You know what? During that time, when it seemed as if anything was possible, probably the longest shot was the Mets winning the World Series, so we did that."

I'm chuckling too because this is exactly how it is now. It's like 1969 all over again, minus all of those specific events happening and the fact the Royals making the World Series wasn't exactly a miracle since they were an ever-improving team who specifically made moves to contend for a title over the next couple of years.

There was no Wild Card Game or League Division Series back then. Otherwise, the Mets would have dominated them, too. Just like these Royals, who are the 21st century version of those Mets.

Did the 1969 Mets just know how to win games? If so, then maybe the 1985 Royals were like the 1969 Mets and the 2014 Royals are just like the 1985 Royals who are just like the 1969 Mets. It's time to get these team comparison's correct for narrative's sake. How can the 2014 Royals be the 1969 Mets AND the 1985 Royals if the 1969 Mets didn't just know how to win? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

"It was real obvious they were packing the organization with quality young players, so this is not an accident," Swoboda said. 

So, it wasn't a miracle? It was a conspicuous effort by the Royals to put a quality team on the field? I don't get it, I thought the Royals' success was a miracle just like the 1969 Mets was a miracle.

"Most of those guys were homegrown, and for the most part, the Mets were homegrown."

Were the 1985 Royals homegrown? I need to know which World Series winning team the 2014 Royals are definitely exactly like. I can't sleep until I know.

"They have that whiff of destiny about them," Swoboda said,

You sure that's not champagne or just sweat? I've smelled destiny before and destiny smells an awful lot like the 2004 Anaheim Angels who didn't know how to win, so they weren't like the Royals, and weren't a miracle team like the 1969 Mets.

In fact, the Royals have won four times in extra innings during this postseason. They've also taken the lead three times after the ninth with home runs despite finishing the regular season last in the Major Leagues in homers.

See, it's not destiny because the Royals know how to win games...just like the 1985 Royals just knew how to win games. I feel like Tracy Ringolsby and Terence Moore need to compare notes and determine which narrative is correct. Are the 2014 Royals a team of destiny or just a team that knows to win? Destiny doesn't know how to win and knowing how to win involves just doing your job, with no involvement from destiny. Let's keep the stories straight at MLB.com.

"Their outfield is spectacular," Swoboda said. "Alex Gordon was a guy who was failing in the infield, and then he goes to the outfield and wins [three] Gold Gloves. Jarrod Dyson is a speedster in center field, and [Lorenzo] Cain is a legitimate center fielder who goes to right field and makes really good plays. 

Well, I mean they are destined to play well in the outfield so talent doesn't really matter does it?

"It was a different time back then, when starters such as Seaver, [Jerry] Koosman and [Gary] Gentry were out to finish games," Swoboda said. "The bullpen was where you went when you had to.

This is as opposed to modern managers who go to the bullpen because they get bored of seeing their starter on the mound dominating? The bullpen is still where a manager goes when he has to, it's just managers feel they have to go to the bullpen earlier than they used to.

Now the bullpen is where you go when you hit the seventh inning, with the setup guy for the setup guy, then the setup guy and then the closer."

But again, the 2014 Royals are the exact same as the 1969 Mets. Why do I get the feeling Terence Moore put out a call to 10-15 retired players from World Series-winning teams and just decided to compare the 2014 Royals to whichever team had a retired player respond to his phone call first?

Swoboda laughed, saying, "You have to pick the Royals, but I tell you what. [The Giants] will be ready for them, because what's been delightful for me to watch during these playoffs is that the intensity and the emotion have been so legitimate and absolutely authentic from all of these teams. But nobody has shown all of that more than the Kansas City Royals. That's why it's going to be hard to take destiny from them."

Plus the Royals know how to win. The Giants may have won two World Series titles recently, but they don't have destiny and they don't know how to win.

Not hard . . . impossible.

Well, if these Royals really are those Mets.

Even if the Royals win the World Series, they aren't the 1969 Mets. Stop comparing the Royals to historic teams out of pure laziness because you don't know how to analyze and explain a team's success. Crazy things happen in the playoffs and the Royals were six outs away from losing the Wild Card game, so maybe they aren't a team of destiny nor do they "know how to win." Maybe they are just on a hot streak. I know, I know, there has to be a running thread of commonality because sportswriters can't accept the randomness of the universe.

Sean Gregory of "Time" has decided that the Kansas City Royals are the future of baseball. Well then. At least he isn't overreacting to their World Series run or anything by mistaking one team's success during a given season as an example of a larger trend. Obviously the Royals can't just be successful this season. It has to mean something larger than just that.

Sure, the Kansas City Royals are an intriguing tale for the typical rags-to-riches reasons. A team that hasn’t made a post-season appearance in 29 years becomes the first team in baseball history to win its first eight games in the playoffs.

Sure, this would ordinarily be enough to gain the public's attention and allow them to enjoy the Royals' run to the World Series. But it's not enough for Sean Gregory. There has to be more. More! What do these eight games mean in the larger context of the direction baseball is moving? Nothing? Unacceptable, these eight games have to mean something.

But the Royals are more than just an enchanting small-market success story. They represent the changing game of baseball.

Of course they do. Sure, they were six outs away from losing the Wild Card game and baseball would forever be unchanged by the Royals and the narrative might go "Home runs are back!" if the Orioles managed to make the World Series. But that didn't happen, so obviously the Royals are changing the game of baseball. It's the only way to explain their success this season, while also blatantly ignoring that if the A's put the Royals away in the Wild Card game then the game of baseball would forever be unchanged. It's a thin line between a revolution and no revolution. It's almost like Sean Gregory is creating stories where there isn't one.

In the post-steroid era, the game is going through a remarkable transition. Power is out. Pitching, speed and defense are in.

Other MLB teams have won the World Series with good defense and great pitching. But yeah, this is the first season a team could win games by pitching really well and turning opponents batted balls into outs. Very astute.

Teams scored 4.07 runs per game during the 2014 regular season, according to stats site Baseball-Reference.com–the lowest total in 33 years. Runs-per-game are down 15% since 2007, and off 21% from their steroid-era high of 5.14 in 2000. Players are striking out 7.7 times per game, an all-time record, breaking the prior high of 7.55 set last season. In fact, in each of the past seven seasons, baseball set a new all-time high for strikeouts per game.

Three of the top 15 teams in the majors in strikeouts made the playoffs. Obviously striking out isn't a good thing and I don't think any hitting coach would advocate striking out. Striking out isn't the death-knell for scoring runs that Sean Gregory seems to believe it is though.

Enter the Royals. The Royals had the fewest home runs in the majors this past season, with 95.

The Royals were last in strikeouts and also last in walks. So they didn't strikeout, but they didn't walk either. They were ready to hit. 8 of the 10 playoff teams were in the Top 18 in home runs this year. The only teams that weren't were the Cardinals and the Royals. So I'm entirely sure not hitting home runs is a trend that is going to be repeated by successful teams.

But no team had more stolen bases,

True, but what's interesting is the teams that round up the Top 10 in stolen bases include the Dodgers, Reds, Astros, Yankees, Phillies, Tigers, Rangers, Indians, and Pirates. The majority of those teams didn't make the playoffs. Again, I won't say stolen bases aren't important, but Sean Gregory is looking for trends that don't exist. He's seeing the Royals didn't hit home runs and stole bases and figures that's what is important in baseball now. It may not be true. The Giants were 29th in the majors in stolen bases and the Cardinals were 28th. Baltimore was 30th. So of the four teams in the ALCS and NLCS, the Royals were a clear outlier in terms of stealing bases.

Sean Gregory is cherry-picking the information he chooses to present in an effort to create a narrative about how baseball has totally changed. He's reverse-engineering the Royals' success into a greater narrative. Rather than seeing the Royals as a team that took a certain strategy to the World Series, he is ignoring how other MLB teams succeeded during the season and points to the Royals' strategy as the new trend in baseball. The Giants didn't steal bases and were middle-of-the-pack in home runs, strikeouts and walks. Maybe the new way to win in the majors is to not steal bases and be middle-of-the-pack in most offensive categories.

The last big-league club to reach the World Series while finishing last in home runs, but first in swipes, was the 1987 St. Louis Cardinals. Those Cardinals teams of the 1980s played an exciting brand of “small-ball” throughout the decade: the ’82 Cards finished second in steals, and last in home runs, and won it all

But obviously it's a huge, new trend and not just an example of a team making it to the World Series without hitting a lot of home runs, while stealing a lot of bases.

For the Royals, that speed pays off in the field too. According to FanGraphs.com, Kansas City players collectively finished with the highest Ultimate Zone Rating (UZR) – an advanced metric that measures defensive value – in the majors.

Oh sure, people embrace advanced statistics like UZR when it goes to help prove the furthering of silly narratives.

Kansas City’s outfield, with three-time Gold Glove winner Alex Gordon in left, Lorenzo Cain in center, and defensive replacement Jarrod Dyson shoring up center field in the late innings (Cain then usually moves to right), have baseball analysts raving. “Let’s be clear what we’re talking about here,” wrote Sam Miller of Baseball Propectus. “We’re not just talking about a good outfield, or a great outfield. We’re talking about what one might decide to argue is the greatest defensive outfield of all time.”

This is part of the new formula for winning a World Series. Just put together one of the best defensive outfields of all time! Then find players who can run fast, don't strike out, and get on-base. Who would have thought this could work?

The Royals have found a winning formula. These days, if you swing for the fences, you’re more likely than ever to strike out.

Is this a factual statement? Is there really a correlation between striking out, swinging for home runs and then not scoring runs (which is what Sean Gregory is talking about...you can't score if you strike out)? Here are the top 10 teams in home runs for 2014 (number of homers in parenthesis) and their ranking in strikeouts, then their ranking in runs scored:

1. Baltimore (211)- 11th, 8th
2. Colorado (186)- 12th, 3rd
3. Toronto (177)- 24th, 5th
4. Houston (163)- 2nd, 21st
5. Chicago Cubs (157)- 1st, 26th
6. Pittsburgh (156)- 18th, 10th
7. LA Angels (155)- 13th, 1st
8. Chicago White Sox (155)- 5th, 13th
9. Detroit (155)- 25th, 2nd,
10. Washington (152)- 9th, 9th

So of the MLB teams in the Top 10 in home runs, four of these teams are in the Top 10 in strikeouts, while seven of these teams are in the Top 10 in runs scored. In fact, of the Top 10 teams in home runs, only two of these teams are ranked below 13th in the majors in run scored. So hitting home runs is a great way to score runs and while teams who strike out a lot may tend to strike out more, it doesn't mean those teams are scoring fewer runs. Basically, the home run isn't dead and there's not definitively a new way to play baseball.

So just put the ball in play – Royals hitters have both the lowest strikeout rate in the majors, and the lowest walk rate – and take your chances with your legs. Steal bases to eke out those diminishing runs.

Right, this is how they win games. It doesn't mean that's the "new" way to win games or this is how every team will win games. It's simply how the Royals do it. Plus, like Tracy Ringolsby says, the Royals just know how to win games. That has to be factored in too.

Since today’s pitchers are better keeping balls in the park, if your opponent does make contact, make sure you have players who turn these balls into outs. (Like third baseman Mike Moustakas diving into the stands).

That's a great idea, but the key is to find players who can turn these balls into outs while also hitting the baseball well and helping the team score runs. This isn't a new thing. MLB teams have always looked for good defensive players who can also hit. It's called "finding good baseball players" and MLB teams try to find them every single year in the draft, free agency or through trade. 

Let the big-market New York Yankees and Los Angeles Angels overpay for aging sluggers who will inevitably depreciate at the back-end of their ludicrous contracts (Alex Rodriguez, Josh Hamilton, Albert Pujols).

Apparently Sean Gregory thinks not overpaying for declining players is the new inefficiency. Again, this isn't new.

Small-ball is cheap, and effective.

This year it is cheap and effective. Next year, the new hot trend in baseball may be something completely different. It's not especially smart to take the success of the Royals and believe it has started a new trend in baseball. If the Royals had lost in the Wild Card game then how effective and cheap would small-ball be then?

This is where the game is heading. The Royals just do it best.

This is where the game is heading, but just ignore how the other playoff teams scored runs and won games this year. It's stupid to think there is one way to win baseball games and the Royals winning with small-ball is the start of a larger trend. It's just a desperate attempt to explain the unexplainable and create a narrative on the back of the Royals' success. By the way, the Red Sox were 8th in the majors in strikeouts last season and 6th in home runs. Why wasn't the game of baseball headed towards teams who strikeout a lot and hit a lot of home runs having the most success after the Red Sox won the World Series last year?