3 comments In a Shocking Twist of Events Sportswriter Who Hates Everything About Alex Rodriguez Hates His Apology Too

Mike Lupica is a self-important asshole who has singlehandedly disproved the theory that it pays off to be nice to people and that those who treat others like they want to be treated will be rewarded. You wouldn't have to search far to hear stories of how Mike Lupica believes himself to be superior to his fellow co-workers, his neighbors or any other human being walking on Earth or in Heaven/Hell. So A-Rod apologizes for using steroids and his other crimes of ego and vanity. It was either going to be enough for some or not enough for others and the decision was probably made which way this would go well before A-Rod actually wrote the apology. People hate everything A-Rod does or they don't. They believe him or they don't. Mike Lupica is on his high horse and can't just write, "I don't like Alex Rodriguez so I choose not to believe him." No, Lupica has to think of horseshit excuses WHY he knows that the apology doesn't ring true among fans, though Lupica is about as in touch with sports fans as Tony Bennett is with the latest dance craze. The last time Lupica watched a game with real sports fans was the one time he got locked out of the press box and had to watch the third quarter of a Knicks game in the last row of Madison Square Garden. Even then he probably forced anyone who he had to sit beside out of their seat so he wouldn't feel crowded as he leaned forward in his chair with his toes barely touching the ground. A-Rod is an asshole and a liar. I'm not sure there's any doubt about that, but Mike Lupica mocking A-Rod and trying to pretend he knows anything about what the real sports fan thinks is the real assholery and lie in this situation.

To the end with Alex Rodriguez you wouldn’t believe the guy if he told you water was wet, even if he wrote that out in the schoolboy cursive handwriting he used on Tuesday when he apologized to the fans for being a very bad boy.

(Mike Lupica if A-Rod didn't apologize): "The least A-Rod could do is set aside his mountainous ego and tell the truth for once, even if it isn't the truth. Just write a letter or make a statement saying you are sorry. Is that too much to ask?"

(Mike Lupica when A-Rod does apologize): "A-Rod apologized. He didn't mean it. This is just another lie to add to the rolodex of lies that A-Rod seems to be keeping around in a feeble effort to get back in the good graces of fans."

See, when someone hates another person, then NOTHING the other person will do can stop the other person from hating him. At a certain point, the person doing the hating gets tuned out or ignored. So I expect nothing from Lupica but hate towards A-Rod and his take on A-Rod's letter will never convince me of Lupica's point of view.

Most fans reading it probably wanted to write one back: Shut up and get out.

Mike Lupica has absolutely zero idea what fans wanted to write back. The big lie here is any time Mike Lupica claims to even be 1% in touch with modern sports fans and their feelings. It's hard to mingle with the people when you won't leave your pedestal.

So this is the way Rodriguez decides to play it, deciding not to hold some kind of press conference before spring training, opting out of the visual of his lawyer sitting next to him and telling him which questions he could answer, and which ones would require him to exercise his Fifth Amendment rights, so as not to face self-incrimination.

Quite a scene that Lupica has set up here. Obviously A-Rod was opting out of creating a circus around himself for his own benefit and the media will never have a chance to speak with A-Rod ever again during the 2015 season. Such a sneaky fellow to permanently escape the questions of the media as he has.

But then DEA informants — it is exactly what Rodriguez is — rarely want to tell their stories in public.

Snitches get stitches! Mike Lupica don't like it much when snitches start telling stories to the DEA. That's the right way to end up on the wrong side of Lupica's glock.

And yes, Mike Lupica is now criticizing Alex Rodriguez for helping to put a drug dealer behind bars. Because while it's not honorable necessarily, it's also not something that merits any form of criticism.

Now he tries to control his own cockeyed narrative about his drug use — is he really going to try to convince us once again that he didn’t know what he was buying from Bosch and using? — with a written apology that is like a nuanced legal brief, one in which the only thing he really admits is that he did an historic amount of time.

It never ends. The amount of blood required from A-Rod to make up for his previous transgressions will never be enough. Andy Pettitte is seen as fully honest in saying, "I used PED's, but I didn't use them to enhance my performance so fuck you for thinking that's why I did it." He gets a rub-and-tug from the New York media while the Yankees retire his jersey. Alex Rodriguez admits he cheated and apologizes, but he gets criticized by Mike Lupica for not giving up more information with which he can be criticized. Perhaps A-Rod would have been better off claiming he never took PED's to enhance his performance.

It is one thing to tell his story to a writer or to the new commissioner, Rob Manfred, behind closed doors. Or to do the same thing, again behind closed doors to Hal Steinbrenner of the Yankees and his team president, Randy Levine, and his general manager, Brian Cashman. It would have been quite another thing for Rodriguez to have answered questions out in the open without a lawyer present.

A-Rod told his story and was honest with the commissioner and nearly every important decision-maker with the Yankees team, but because Mike Lupica didn't get to hear A-Rod's story then obviously he hasn't come completely clean. The sense of entitlement from Lupica is astounding. A-Rod told his story to anyone who matters, but because he wasn't honest with a person who hates him, then that means A-Rod hasn't totally done his penance quite yet. I'd love to see if Mike Lupica would hold himself to this same standard. Of course he wouldn't. There are separate rules for athletes and Mike Lupica. Mike Lupica hasn't ever had to explain himself to anyone. No, he is the type of person who has others explain themselves TO HIM. He's an insecure bully who can't see past his own ego.

And that really wasn’t the visual he wanted, taking questions from the New York media and the national media, then having to stop for whispered conversations with his current attorney, Jim Sharp, before he might say something contradictory to what he has already told the feds;

And obviously A-Rod might say something contradictory to what he has told the feds, because he is a snitch and a liar. I bet Mike Lupica thinks that A-Rod took PED's given to him by Anthony Bosch, while also lying and framing Bosch for being a drug dealer. I wouldn't doubt that Lupica could hold those two separate, contradictory opinions. It hurts Lupica's little feelings that A-Rod may not owe him an explanation. Because if Lupica is not owed an explanation then that means he isn't as important as he believes himself to be. So like any child who doesn't get his way when he REALLY REALLY wants his way, Lupica throws a fit and accuses Rodriguez of dodging the truth, when in reality Rodriguez doesn't care to tell the media the truth. Mike Lupica doesn't want to be out of the loop or feel like he's less than his ego tells him he is. So naturally, he calls out A-Rod for only telling his story to those people that really matter and not to the media.

“I served the longest suspension in the history of the League for PED use,” he writes.

Which he did and it was cut down from an even longer sentence.

Notice the language here. Rodriguez never uses the word steroids, the way he never used that word back in 2009 when he begged everybody for his first second chance.

Yes, notice how Rodriguez doesn't admit to using the steroids that he didn't use. He used HGH and other PED's as defined by MLB, but not steroids. So yes, I did notice how A-Rod never actually admitted to taking the steroids that he wasn't suspended for taking.

He doesn’t say “my” PED use. Just PED use.

And given the fact he was writing an apology letter for using PED's, it was pretty fucking obvious to only the most thick-headed person that A-Rod was referring to his PED use. In fact, using the word "my" in this sentence would be somewhat redundant. By starting the sentence with "I" then it is clear A-Rod is referring to himself when talking about the suspension for PED use. If you are going to hate on A-Rod at least be good at it and don't sound so desperate. Rodriguez certainly isn't writing an apology letter on someone else's behalf while using the first person.

“I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything I say at this point,” he writes. “I understand and that’s on me.”

There you have it, Rodriguez’s own weird version of accountability.

That really is his accountability. He's taking responsibility for his actions and saying he doesn't blame a person for not believing him. What else would Lupica have A-Rod say? This won't be revealed because Lupica has no idea what his expectations for A-Rod are. He just doesn't like A-Rod and stretches to rip him whenever possible.

Even as he asks the fans to believe how sorry he is for everything he’s done, he admits that the same fans to whom he is speaking probably don’t believe he’s really sorry.

Would Lupica have preferred if A-Rod has written, "You will believe my apology, I am sure of it"? Is that more preferable? Again, we won't ever find out because Mike Lupica has no idea what he wants A-Rod to say. He just doesn't want A-Rod to say what he just said.

It will come out in the ESPN piece written by J.R. Moehringer that Alex is in therapy these days. Of course he is. It is about time, and better late than never, for somebody who really could be the buffet at a psychiatrist’s convention.

Mental health. Always a hilarious topic for a good laugh to break up the seriousness of a grown-ass sportswriter throwing a fit that he wasn't included as a stop on an apology tour. I'm sure Lupica would enjoy a few good hearty jokes at the expense of his family having to deal with his egomania.

"I hear Mike Lupica's daughter is in therapy for anorexia. It's about time, after all the bullshit she's had to eat from her dad's mouth all these years she's bound to just throw up as much as possible."

See? It's all in good fun to make a few jokes about mental health. It's not at all an asshole and mean thing to do.

But nobody gets Rodriguez’s Oprah moment now in some big room or hall or under some circus tent somewhere, with a roomful of Oprah Winfreys firing questions at him the way Oprah fired them at Alex’s patron saint, Lance Armstrong.

Yes, nobody gets the big media event that Alex Rodriguez so obviously owes the world. He wrote a letter stating he was wrong and is trying to move on with his life after serving his suspension in order to cut down on as much of the distractions as possible in order to prepare for the upcoming season. It's a very selfish move. Most players would be lauded for publicly apologizing and then trying to make sure they are as small of a distraction as possible, but for Mike Lupica this is just another strike against A-Rod. He owes the world a circus and it's a mark against his character he won't provide one on demand.

Most of the fans to whom Rodriguez spoke on Tuesday — and from the heart! — are probably wishing that there was some way for Stoudemire to take Alex Rodriguez back to Texas with him.

Snark is fun. I still would love to know what Mike Lupica wanted A-Rod to do. Other than hold a press conference and answer all of the questions that the media isn't entitled to have answered to their own satisfaction of course. A-Rod has told his story to those people who matter, he apologized in cutesy form, and now he has stated he wants to move on. Hate it or love it, doesn't matter.

He writes an open letter the way Ray Rice wrote an open letter in the Baltimore Sun. Rice did it because he needs a job. Rodriguez has one, a real good one with the New York Yankees, at least $61 million still coming to him over the next few years.

So A-Rod didn't have to write the letter, but he did anyway. This is clearly another mark against A-Rod's character that he at least pretended to give a shit. Maybe if Lupica pretended to give a shit about his writing then he wouldn't be seen as the egomaniac bully that he's seen by many in the media as being.

Bosch, his drug dealer? He goes to jail now for 48 months, three months shy of the maximum sentence he could have gotten for operating the kind of drug ring he was operating.

I can't believe this drug dealer got close to the maximum sentence for his crime. Why isn't the court system easier on drug dealers?

The star of that ring, still batting cleanup there, still a big name at Biogenesis, was Alex Rodriguez. He doesn’t go to jail. He goes to spring training. Is this a great country or what?

Apparently Mike Lupica advocates for the drug user to go to jail, while the drug dealer roams free? What a great country this is! A-Rod uses the drugs, but he gets off scot free while the poor innocent guy who dealt the drugs had the book thrown at him. Why can't Mike Lupica live in a world where the authorities ignore cartels and go after the real people who create the drug problem, which is the drug user? Obviously the reason there is a drug problem in the United States is that law enforcement has been going after the people who deal the drugs when they should be going after the people who use the drugs.

Mike Lupica is really working hard to make A-Rod seem like a bad guy. He's taking the side of and advocating for a drug dealer now.

Even after he admitted to being a drug user, he managed to have his best baseball October and lead the Yankees to a World Series. Judge me on what I do going forward, he said back in 2009. That is exactly what everybody has done.

And absolutely judge A-Rod on what he's done since then, which includes his second PED-related offense. He's been judged and punished. He apologized and either accept it and shut up or don't accept it and tell everyone what A-Rod should have done instead of apologize. Oh, and call A-Rod a snitch for ratting on a drug dealer, as if this shows another moral fallacy in his genetic code.

Now he is back, panhandling for redemption and another second chance,

He's making $61 million and doesn't need redemption or a second chance because he's getting one simply because he's making $61 million. That's another point that Lupica misses. A-Rod doesn't need his forgiveness. He doesn't want to be hated, but he isn't Ray Rice trying to get back into the sport. A-Rod is a Yankee because they owe him too much money otherwise. So he doesn't have to apologize and he doesn't have to talk to Mike Lupica about his "story."

trying to make one last first impression, the richest drug informant in all of baseball history.

Boy, Mike Lupica is riding this whole "A-Rod told on a drug dealer" thing hard isn't he? I'm not sure calling A-Rod a snitch will have the effect he wants it to have.

One more record for Alex Rodriguez.

You are a petty, sad man who has mocked A-Rod for apologizing, seeking mental health assistance and think a drug dealer should go to jail for a shorter span of time than a drug user. No one likes A-Rod, but we are stuck with him. No one likes you. Go away. 

2 comments Hey Rick Reilly, Writing a Letter to Derek Jeter's Children is Kind of Creepy

The Derek Jeter Appreciation Tour has continued for most of the summer. Along with this appreciation comes puff pieces about Jeter and his accomplishments as a MLB player. Most of these tributes are pretty innocuous and well-deserved, but then there is the occasional article where the author should take a cold shower or a brief break before posting what he/she has written. AND THEN, there are those who get very carried away writing about Jeter and end up writing something that is incredibly embarrassing. You know, those people who write a letter to Derek Jeter's non-existent children on the topic of their father's baseball career. "Those people" are Rick Reilly and it's a little creepy to write a letter to someone else's children. I ask this a lot, but I have no idea how this article got posted on ESPN.com. It's not only a bad idea, even for someone like Rick Reilly who seemingly has tons of bad column ideas, but it's just a little weird.

To Derek Jeter's kids (whenever you come along):

Writing letters to someone else's children is just a little weird. It just is. I can't argue with anyone about this. If Derek Jeter wanted his kids to read a letter about his playing career he would do it or just cue up one of the thousands of videos online of his MLB career for his children to watch.

You were born too late to know your father the way we did,

And Rick Reilly knows Derek Jeter well, which is why this isn't an interview with Jeter and instead is a creepy stalker letter directed towards Jeter's unborn children.

Don't you like how Rick is playing the "insider sportswriter" role here as if he has special access to Derek Jeter? It's almost like Rick isn't talking about one of the few sports superstars that few know anything about. Seriously, does anyone know anything really specific about Derek Jeter other than he likes attractive brunette women? But no, Rick will pretend he knows something everyone else doesn't and that he truly knows Jeter.

so I want to take just a minute to let you know what he meant to us.

He meant the Braves didn't win two more World Series in the 90's to me, so I'm still pretty pissed off about that. 

He was a kind of prince in baseball cleats, George Clooney in pinstripes,

A Chris Cornell in cleats, the Neil Patrick Harris of outstanding clutch plays, and the John Grisham of shortstops. 

He was humble and handsome and yet hard to hate.

Does Rick Reilly know that Derek Jeter is humble and hard to hate? I would seriously doubt that he knows Jeter personally enough to know this is a fact and not just a set of characteristics he's looking to project onto Jeter.

He was like a good magician. You could never figure out how he did it.

Dedication, hard work and talent he cultivated within himself through this hard work. Doesn't seem too hard to figure out.

He was the best player in baseball for a good 10 years straight and yet he never won a batting title, never won an MVP, never was the highest-paid player in the game.

"I'll take ridiculous observations that casual fans of baseball would make for $100, Alex."

He spoke to the media every day, yet managed to say nothing.

BUT RICK KNOWS JETER IS HUMBLE! HE KNOWS THIS BECAUSE HE PROJECTS THIS QUALITY ONTO JETER. 

He never showed up in the clubhouse with a black eye to explain, a headline to deny or a photo to justify.

No, but his spending the night on the town was questioned at one point, which lead to this VISA commercial. It was all much ado about nothing, but I think it's funny that sportswriters tend to forget that Jeter did hit the town in the younger years. He was quiet-ish about it, but he wasn't quite the stay-at-home guy that writers like Reilly want to remember him as being.

"He could sense trouble coming," said his best friend, former teammate and retired catcher Jorge Posada. "We'd be at a restaurant. He'd say, 'That guy in the blue shirt. He's going to come over here and ask for an autograph.' And sure enough, 15 seconds later, the guy would be standing at our table."

Two things:

1. Since when does an autograph seeker count as "trouble"?

2. Derek Jeter is incredibly famous in New York and around the United States, so the fact he thinks a guy looking at him will come over for an autograph is simply a reflection of his fame, not a reflection of his heightened senses.

How he was loved! In a league full of bloated steroid cheats, he kept the same body, the same weight, the same helmet size.

By the way, Jeter won World Series titles and part of his legacy is tied to the team success that was assisted by steroid cheats, but let's completely not mention this okay? Writers and players point out Jeter is a winner and the ultimate champion, while differentiating him from the steroid cheats, but always conveniently leave out part of Jeter's legacy is what it is because he played with a list of steroid cheats. It's all part of the game the media plays. They manage to separate Jeter out from the steroid cheats, give reason to taint the accomplishments of these cheats, but refuse to see Jeter's accomplishments in any way tied to the accomplishments of these cheats.

In a world of my-agent-doesn't-want-me-to-play multimillionaires, he played hurt more than we know. "Most of the time, he wasn't 100 percent," Posada said. "He'd come out of spring training and tell me, 'I'm already hurting,' but he wouldn't tell anybody else. He just kept going."

I'm interested to know who Rick Reilly thinks the my-agent-doesn't-want-me-to-play multimillionaires are, but I'm guessing he can't name one.

Your father was everything men wanted to be. The guy with the $15 million Trump Tower penthouse. The dude dating Miss Universe. The man with all of the talent and none of the jerk. He was everything women wanted, too.

No kid wants to hear this shit about their father, even kids who aren't born yet or may never be born yet. Rick Reilly is writing a letter to Derek Jeter's semen right now. Pretty creepy.

The elegant athlete who loved books, paid for everything, and had a limo waiting for them when it was time to go.

He had a limo waiting for him when it was time to go, BUT BOY THAT JETER WAS HUMBLE!

The stat-heads scoffed at him, but then the stat-heads never figured out a way to measure the things he did.

Yes, it is difficult to measure hyperbole, intangibles, and anecdotal evidence...most likely because they don't exist in a way where they can be measured.

Some guys would lean over the wall in foul territory to make a catch. Jeter would launch himself over it, sometimes two rows deep. He'd come out with a bruised face, a cut chin, and the ball.

He did this once. It wasn't a thing he did a couple of times a year.

Fourteen Yankees were captains, but none longer than your father, and that includes Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig.

Who is going to write the letter to Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig's great-grandchildren telling them of their father's accomplishments?

Your father was like a rooster's crow. You could always depend on him.

This letter is getting even more creepy. Now Rick is comparing Derek Jeter to a consistently performing cock. This is after mentioning Jeter's ways with women a couple of times in this letter...not that he is blurring the line between hero worship and creepy of course.

Oh, he had his faults. If you crossed him, even once, you were out forever. If he didn't get to the World Series, he would slip into a terrible funk.

Rick is still writing this column like he had a deep, personal relationship to Derek Jeter. Like he was the Gail to Jeter's Oprah. The Brett Favre to Peter King. The Lance Armstrong to Rick Reilly.

He refused to use public bathrooms unless it was an emergency.

(Derek Jeter begins to walk into the bathroom at Yankee Stadium and sees a shirtless Rick Reilly peeking out the side of it)

(Rick Reilly starts waving his finger for Jeter to come into the bathroom) "Hey Derek, why don't you come in here? I have a question for you. Maybe you could pee in a cup and prove you aren't a steroid user."

(The Jeter) "Nah man, I'm good...I was just walking down the hall."

(Rick Reilly looks around) "There's nothing else down here...and no one else down here. There's no where to go but to the bathroom. Where were you going Derek?"

(The Jeter) "I mean...I was...I thought about heading to the bathroom, but I only go if it's an emergency and I've decided it's not an emergency."

(Rick Reilly) "I saw you coming from down the hall doing the pee-pee dance. It certainly looked like an emergency (removes his shoes and socks). Come on in the bathroom and use one of the urinals. I'll be right behind you."

(The Jeter) "Nah, I don't use public bathrooms except if it's an emergency and it's not (runs the other way)"

(Rick Reilly whispers) "No one knows you like I do. We should be together."

Nobody had to yell at him much. He threw right, hit to right and did right. He began a foundation called Turn 2, which helps kids growing up in lousy situations, and he gave far more to it than money. One time, he showed up to watch a hapless Turn 2 Little League team. Not only hadn't they won a game, they hadn't even scored a run. When they finally scored one that game, he celebrated as though they'd all just landed on the moon.

This certainly sounds like a story that Jeter could tell his children himself. Not to step on Reilly's toes in this really creepy letter to Jeter's unborn children or anything.

He had this way of making you feel you belonged. Before the first World Series game at Yankee Stadium after 9/11, President George W. Bush was to throw out the first pitch. Everybody was tense. Jeter walked up to Bush and said: "Throw from the mound or else they'll boo you."

If Jeter was really helpful he would have told Bush there were no WMD's in Iraq. That would have been super-clutch of him.

Yet again, this sounds like the kind of story that Jeter could tell his children himself. So I'm still not sure why Reilly feels the need to be so weird.

He was hilarious, but he didn't want you to know it. In his final goodbye season of 2014, I asked, "Who would you cross the street to avoid?"
"You," he said.

Rick Reilly laughed as Derek Jeter stood stone-faced staring at him, being absolutely serious about his answer. Rick then put his hands around Jeter's neck and pretended to choke him in the hopes someone would take a picture of it. What a jokester that Jeter was, saying he would avoid his soulmate on the street. If Jeter avoided Rick Reilly then who would be around to tell Jeter's non-existent children about his exploits on the field?

When his body just couldn't do it anymore, it was bittersweet. Nobody loved playing baseball more than your dad, but he was ready. "I'm going to finally see what Europe is like in the summer," he told me. "I've been on a schedule my whole life. The plan now is to have no plan."

You can feel the personal connection Jeter and Reilly had. It's palpable. In fact, the personal relationship between Rick Reilly and Derek Jeter is the Derek Jeter of personal relationships. It's the best.

After that, he said he was going to settle down and have a family, which was unthinkable. Derek Jeter settling down? It was like an eagle deciding to take the bus. Glad he did, though, because genes this good shouldn't be wasted.

Plus, it gave Rick a chance to mail in a creepy column where he pretended to write a letter to Derek Jeter's hypothetical children. I'm assuming Reilly didn't tell Jeter of his plans to write a letter to his hypothetical children or else there would have been mention of a restraining order in the news somewhere.

Of course, who are we to believe these quotes from Jeter are even accurate? I mean after all, Rick is the guy who misquoted his own father-in-law.

If there was a better man in sports, I never met him. Your father was a gentleman. A charmer. A 1,000-point star.

Jeter and Rick are going to get married, get married on the top of a mountain at a wedding no one else will be invited to and then have a baseball field of children who will have this letter read to them by Rick and Jeter every night before bed.

He was ours for 20 years, but he's yours now, and I just wanted you to know how lucky you are.

I would ask how this column slipped by ESPN's editors, but I'm assuming they let Rick do whatever he wants to these days. And what Rick wants to do is be extra-creepy and write a letter about how great their father is to Derek Jeter's children that don't exist. He wrote a letter to semen. Just when you think Rick can't be more lazy and more terrible, he goes and lowers the bar for himself one more time. 

8 comments Your Daily Dose of Crazy

Scott Fowler of the Charlotte Observer has lost his damn mind and posted the most trolling, hatred-baiting letter I have seen in a while for no apparent reason. It is a Redskins fan ripping Carolina Panthers fans for...something. What's funny is while this guy believes he is ripping one fan base, he is really ripping quite a few other fan bases as well. I'm not sure exactly what his problem is, but it appears Carolina Panthers fans have committed the crime of not all being teenagers and still being fans of the team. Again, what's interesting is this idiocy can happen to you as well. The line of thinking and the "question" the letter writer poses goes for teams in every major sport.

I got an email from a passionate Washington Redskins fan I wanted to share with you. He lives in Charlotte and believes that any Panther fan 23 or over can't be trusted.

My head hurts from how many holes I can poke into the line of thinking this "passionate" Redskins fan is furthering. I will do my best to type coherently.

I'm going to let him remain anonymous for this, although I can tell you it's a real person I'm familiar with, as I don't want the extreme edge of the Panther base to decide to harass him or something.

So to disagree with him for his over-generalization makes you part of the extreme edge. That's nice to know. So basically this letter writing guy gets the best of all worlds that anonymous commenters love. They get to speak their point of view, no matter how stupid, and no one knows who the hell you are, nor can anyone contact you to rebut your position because there is no contact information available.

Feel free to comment on this rather provocative theory below, but keep it CLEAN. I don't want to have to hide and disable the comments, but will if I must.

Here's the theory below. You may say, why bring this up? I think we have reasonable commenters here at BotB and I wonder if this guy sounds reasonable or his point of view on when fans of a certain sports team are "real" fans. So that's why I bring this letter up and write about it. Overall, I think the letter is stupid and can be rebutted a variety of ways. Initially, it may seem like the guy has a point, but the more you think about it logically, the less it seems there is a valid point to be made.

From A Passionate Redskins Fan in Charlotte... To the readers of the "Scott Says" blog:

"I have a theory that I have expressed to several people, but no one has yet given me a reason why my theory is incorrect or otherwise poked any holes in it.

Then you have no spoken to enough people or are just too stubborn to listen to reasonable ways to poke holes in the theory. The theory says, "I don't trust Carolina Panthers fans over the age of 23." That in itself could rebut the statement effectively since it is completely based on a point of view and not any type of facts underlying the statement.

Here it is: I don’t trust drinking-age Panther fans. The Panthers started in 1995.

The team was given to Charlotte by the NFL in 1993. So really the Panthers "started" in 1993. Fans knew of the team prior to 1995, so they could become fans before a single game was ever played.

That’s 16 years ago.

18 years ago.

That means that one of two realities is true for anyone over or about 23 years old (who would have been 8 years old when the Panthers started) who is a Panthers fan:

This is the first part I have a problem with. No theory is worth a shit if there are only two "realities" that can be taken from it and both of the theories are generalizations...which is true in this case.

I am irritated at the line of thought that is espoused by this "passionate" Redskins fan. These are the same "passionate" fans of NFL teams that are constantly trolling Charlotte-area radio stations (it is a big problem and is why I don't listen to sports talk radio) bragging about how good the Steelers, Cowboys and Redskins are, regardless of whether these "passionate" fans have ever set foot in their favorite team's stadium. They are "real" fans because they jumped on an NFL team's bandwagon many years ago, while anyone rooting for a local, newer team just can't be trusted due to the newness of the team. This guy assumes any fan of an established team chose that specific team as his/her favorite before the age of 8 years old, when this very well may not be the case. Yeah, I am making some generalizations as well here and I realize that.

1 -- They were the fan of another team and then just abandoned them when the Panthers came along.

Here is where this letter has implications for the fan of any team that is new to an area, whether the team just moved there or is an expansion team. Is any drinking-age Rays fan not to be trusted? How about the fan bases of NHL teams that moved from Canada to the United States? Can those fan bases not be trusted? Memphis Grizzlies fans? Orlando Magic fans? Miami Heat fans? After all, if you are 40 years old and you like these NBA teams, you can't be trusted because you clearly abandoned another team for the Grizzlies, Magic or Heat at some point. After all, who would ever hear of a person not choosing a favorite team in a sport until the local area had a favorite team? In the world of overly-broad generalizations this could never happen.

Sorry Oklahoma City Thunder fans, you are all not to be trusted because the Thunder are your favorite team and you clearly ditched your "other" favorite team to be a Thunder fan. What an untrustworthy group of assholes you all are.

Imagine: You’re 40, the Panthers come along, and you ditch your favorite team. Blasphemy. That really shows a lack of trustworthiness, loyalty, character.

Imagine. You are 20 and don't have a favorite NFL team. Then Jacksonville gets an NFL team and you start going to the games and choose them as your favorite team. The horror!

My initial thought after all of this is how ironic it is for a Redskins fan to rip any fan base for a lack of trustworthiness, loyalty and character. After all, there are thousands of Redskins fans up and down the East Coast who are fans of the team simply because they were good in the 1980's. Of course, that's absolutely fine because if you are a 40 year old Redskins fan you clearly came out of the womb with a Washington Redskins tattoo on your ass and in no way did the 1980's Super Bowl victories affect your decision to be a Redskins fan. It is so much more trustworthy to choose to be a Redskins fan at the age of 10 years of age because they are a popular team compared to becoming a Jacksonville Jaguars fan at the age of 10 years because they are now the local team and you didn't watch football until they came to town.

The overwhelming sense of superiority and lack of perspective is what initially irritates me about this letter writer. Bill Simmons even thinks this guy's ego needs to be checked. I wonder what the resident letter writing genius thinks of St. Louis Rams fans? Are they not to be trusted because they were St. Louis Cardinals (football) fans? How does a 40 year old Arizona Cardinals fan in St. Louis become more trustworthy than a 25 year old St. Louis Rams fan? At some point everyone chooses their favorite team and to just assume because a person is older they have already chosen a favorite team is a huge generalization.

Fortunately, this idiot letter writer has a solution for people who don't have a favorite NFL team and then choose a team. By "solution" I mean "more over-generalized, ridiculous criticism."

2 -- The person didn’t have a favorite team. That might even be worse.

At a certain point every single sports fan doesn't have a favorite team. I would love to know the age cut-off to where a person doesn't have a favorite team and can not choose one anymore. I am guessing the age is 6 years old, because that's the age the letter writer uses in this screed against sports humanity in Carolina. He says it the cut-off is 8 years old because that's when the Panthers started playing games, but the Panthers were awarded to Charlotte in 1993, so the age wouldn't be 8 years old when they "started," but actually 6 years old.

A 30-year-old who doesn’t like a football team?

This is why this letter shouldn't have been printed. There is no consistent reasoning. One minute we are discussing any (current) 23 year old who is a fan of Carolina can't be trusted and now he is arguing on the basis of a 30 year old that doesn't have a favorite team. That would make this person 46-48 years old now. I thought we were using any drinking-age fan as an example, not middle-aged fan as the primary example.

What is wrong with being an 8 year old who doesn't have a favorite football team? That sounds pretty damn reasonable to me. Especially if the two closest franchises are 240 miles south and 420 miles north of the city he/she lives in. See, while this guy thinks he is speaking to just one certain fan base, this has ramifications for a ton of fan bases in sports.

You are a 25 year old Baltimore Ravens fan? Too bad. You can't be trusted and aren't loyal to your team because at one point you liked another team, which shows disloyalty. If you didn't like another team then what the hell is wrong with you? Clearly you have a mental problem if you didn't automatically choose a favorite team in a given sport at some point in second grade, so you can't be trusted because you didn't choose a favorite team at an early age.

How can you trust them to commit to a person or a cause if they are an adult and don’t have a favorite football team?

Getting beyond the stupidity of thinking people only get into a sport when they are young and at no point after…the hypothesis didn’t begin with discussing 30 year olds, but it instead started with discussing 8 year olds who didn’t have a favorite football team in 1995. This would mean the person isn't 30 years old now, but 23 years old. Some people don't get into sports until later in life, so I can see how a 30 year old would not have a favorite NFL team. This isn't a character flaw.

At a minimum, they are wishy-washy.

If a person hasn’t picked a favorite team, how that does that make them wishy-washy? The author of this letter does understand the definition of wishy-washy, right? Wishy-washy means a person can't decide between two or more things. If a person hasn't chosen any thing, how can that make him/her wishy-washy if they finally do chose something?

At most, they are something much, much worse.

So not having chosen a favorite team in a sport and then eventually doing so is much, much worse than jumping between two favorite teams in a sport? Is that what I'm hearing? If so, that’s probably the first time I have ever heard this point of view.

Seems to me that those are the only 2 possibilities for adult Panther fans.

There is a third possibility (and probably 10 other possibilities as well if I tried to think about it harder). A person didn’t watch the NFL or didn’t choose a favorite NFL team until the local area got an NFL team. The idea a person who is a 23 year old Redskins fan is “trustworthy” because the area has always had a local team, while a 23 year old Oklahoma City Thunder fan is not “trustworthy” because the Thunder just arrived in Oklahoma City is ridiculous. I think someone is just mad the two options his team has at quarterback are John Beck and Rex Grossman.

So while this guy is picking on a particular fan base, I think he is too short-sighted to realize his “theory” extends to many more teams. Here are the teams in the three major sports who this guy (presumably it is a guy) would describe as “lacking character, trustworthiness, and loyalty” if they are 23 years old or more and cheer for the following teams...

Baltimore Ravens

Cleveland Browns

Houston Texans

Jacksonville Jaguars

Tennessee Titans

Oakland Raiders (possibly)

Carolina Panthers

St. Louis Rams

Arizona Cardinals

Washington Nationals

Florida Marlins (fans 25 or older)

Colorado Rockies (fans 25 or older)

Arizona Diamondbacks

Tampa Bay Rays

Memphis Grizzlies

New Orleans Hornets

Oklahoma City Thunder

Toronto Raptors

Charlotte Bobcats

Orlando Magic

So there are 20 teams who have fans 23 years old or older who are described by the letter in these negative terms. I think this shows the stupidity of making huge generalizations about one fan base that can be shown across other fan bases as well.

Obviously, it is perfectly acceptable for a person under the age of about 22 to be a Panthers fan because that’s been the local team since they were young.

Well yeah, obviously. “Young” being defined as six years old in this case. If you were seven years old and hadn’t chosen your favorite team yet, then unfortunately you are a disloyal, untrustworthy douchebag.

For anyone whose favorite college teams are from the university you attended and you didn’t cheer for these teams prior to attending the university or didn’t have a favorite college team upon entering college, well you are disloyal and untrustworthy as well.

So what do yall think about that theory? And keep it clean!

I think that just when I begin to question the shallowness in thought of people, someone can come along and take idiocy to new depths. I think to question someone’s character and trustworthiness based on the sports team they choose to cheer for is wrong to do. I think I just enjoy the idea that a person has to choose a favorite team or follow a sport before the age of eight years old or else that person is inherently distrustful. We all know how consistent eight year olds can be.

Attempt to troll has succeeded. This crap should never have gotten printed.