5 comments Writer For Fansided Has the Hottest of Hot Michael Jordan Takes

Bleacher Report has sort of cleaned up it's act and gotten away from the amateur writers who provided the really shitty content on the site and hired real sportswriters for the site. It's sad, but happy. Sad, because I need those shitty writers for this site, but happy because that means there is less bad journalism in the world. Well, that's bad for this site too. Dammit! Fortunately, there are still sites like Fansided with micro-sites run by morons. I shouldn't be mean, but fuck it, many of these micro-sites do seem like they are run by morons.

Hat tip to the emailer who sent this article to me. It is truly one of the hottest of hot takes about what an asshole Michael Jordan is. This micro-site is called Sir Charles in Charge, while the author's name is Mark. Okay. What's nice is Mark has a warning up on the micro-site so that anyone who reads his columns isn't in shock from what he/she/it is reading:

Mark is not your typical NBA fan or writer. While some may look the other way when their favorite team or player has a bad game Mark will usually attack that story and go against the grain. 

Because NOBODY gives hot takes and reactionary points of view about a player's bad game. If I had to make a list of those who have the guts to do this then the list would only include Mark, most of the ESPN staff paid to give a opinion, everyone on talk radio whether it is a host or caller, anyone in the comment section on a sports article, and professional sportswriters. It's some elite company Mark finds himself in. LeBron didn't have a good few games in a row? Mark is going to attack the fuck out of that story and point out that LeBron is a piece of shit. Can't handle it? Mark (or Charles) is in charge, so get the hell out of here.

This is what he finds fun about writing, giving fans the honest truth even if they wish not to hear it.

He gives the very truth AT THAT VERY MINUTE to fans, even if they don't like it. "Like it" being defined as "Aren't partial to hot takes based on a player having one bad game and these hot takes only serve the sole purpose of helping the person giving the hot take to gain attention."

Speaking of attention, here is his article about how Michael Jordan is the most disrespectful and overrated man in NBA history. That doesn't seem like an extreme or non-factual statement at all. Is it possible this conclusion is not based on facts and instead is simply a reflection of the author's biased opinion? The answer, is that it could not be possible. Try to disprove how disrespectful and overrated Michael Jordan is. You can't, because Mark is spitting the truth and you just don't want to hear it. It's not that he's wrong, you just can't handle the truth.

Just because Michael Jordan is viewed as the Greatest of All Time doesn’t mean he deserves the respect of everyone — certainly not mine

Well then. I wish I didn't hear this, but someone had to tell me.  

Michael Jordan may be the greatest in many eyes, “The GOAT,  Money,  ICON” or whatever other name he is called these days, but I never saw him as much more than a product of great marketing. 

This could be because you are stupid and confuse "Michael Jordan the basketball player" with "Michael Jordan the business man." There are a lot of athletes who receive chances to market products and they receive these opportunities because they are good at a sports. The fact an athlete has a lot of endorsements and is well-marketed doesn't mean that athlete is a product of marketing. It's especially hilarious that Michael Jordan is being criticized as a product of great marketing, especially considering those six NBA titles and all of the NBA records he holds speak for themselves with zero marketing required. 

Could he play the game? 

Uh-oh. I hope the answer to this isn't another thing I don't want to hear. 

Yes, he was a bad dude on the court and accomplished many wonderful things

Product of marketing. That's all.  

but the majority of those plays were being done by half of the league back then, he was just the one they decided to immortalize in commercials.

Wow, I seem to only recall one NBA player switching hands on a layup during the 1991 NBA Finals, but I'm sure I missed it. The NBA probably erased my memory and removed all evidence of other players doing this. I also don't remember too many players starting from the foul line and dunking the basketball, but I'm sure Jon Koncak and Cliff Livington were doing this type of thing all the time while Uwe Blab waited his turn to show off his dunking skills. I must have missed Alvin Robertson putting on a dunk clinic from the foul line or winning a dunk contest. I blame the vast conspiracy to prop up Michael Jordan that makes me forget that Jordan was just one of hundreds of players doing the things he did. I didn't realize half the league was scoring 30 points per game either. I wonder if these players noticed when they scored a basket their team didn't get credit for the points? What a conspiracy to market a single individual.

Have you ever seen Clyde “The Glide” Drexler play? 

No, only you have seen Clyde Drexler play because he has been edited out of NBA history forever in order to further the myth of Michael Jordan. 

If you have, then you would know of the great plays he made throughout his career as well, but rarely do you see him in any NBA spots for advertising.

Part of the reason is he wasn't exactly a natural in front of a camera in local ads.

Not to mention, you don't see Drexler in any NBA spots for advertising because he's been retired for almost two decades now. You don't see Michael Jordan in any NBA advertisements anymore either. The only reason Jordan is still relevant in the NBA is because he owns an NBA team. Like he owns the team and so that sort of still gives him some connection to the NBA today. It's hilarious this writer (and I'm being kind in calling him that) is using Clyde Drexler has a comparison to Jordan, because Drexler has been recognized for his talents. He was on the Dream Team and he is in the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame. It's not like he's getting the short end of the stick when comparing his achievements to Michael Jordan's achievements. Drexler has one NBA title. Jordan has six NBA titles. Who cares which player was in the NBA ads? Jordan was a better player than Drexler and probably had a better agent (David Falk) than Clyde Drexler. But if you insist on pushing the point, here is Drexler in the signature NBA ads of the 80's. This is awkward now. 

Jordan shoes were being sold to the public for $100+ and for the kids that couldn’t afford them they were out robbing the kids that could.

Okay, well then. Now that you bring it up, Michael Jordan probably is responsible for kids robbing kids so they could have his shoes. What's weird is I have heard this argument before. I just don't know where. 

At some point make a statement to the public to stop the nonsense, drop the prices of your shoes to make them affordable, the same way that Stephon Marbury and Chris Webber did.

Now I know where I heard this argument. From Stephon Marbury. So basically the author is stealing talking points from Stephon Marbury in an effort to show how overrated Michael Jordan is and how he is a jerk.

But again, the author is stealing talking points from Chris Webber. Webber wanted more reasonably priced shoes, so his Fila shoes sold for $85 to $90, which is more reasonable than how much Jordan's shoes costs, but also not exactly cheap. The only examples of cheap shoes the author could come up with were shoes from Chris Webber and Stephon Marbury. I had to double check to make sure this article wasn't written in 1999.
 
Through all the ball-hogging, push-offs and crying when someone dared to touch him, 

It's like this article was not just written in 1999, but written in 1989. These are many of the same criticisms people had of Jordan back then. By the way, Jordan is 42nd all-time in career assists and he averaged 5.3 assists per game during his career, while Clyde Drexler averaged 5.6 assists per game. Maybe Jordan ball-hogged in a way where he got his teammates involved nearly as much as Clyde Drexler did. 

I still admired his game until the NBA decided it was time to win the gold medal, that’s when my hate for Jordan really became apparent.

This is when the author's hate for Jordan became apparent...to himself? The 1992 Olympics is when the author became fully self-aware.

He was the face of the NBA 

But only because the other players were edited out of commercials and erased from the memory of those watching the games. 

but it wasn’t going to be a “Dream Team” without him and he used that power to his advantage. Before the team ever assembled there was a power struggle going on between the Chicago Bulls and the Detroit Pistons, mainly between Jordan and Isiah Thomas.

The struggle on the court was mainly between Jordan and the entire Pistons team. The Pistons had the "Jordan Rules" where they essentially beat the shit out of him if he got near to the rim with the basketball. 

The Pistons treated the Bulls with as much respect that an alcoholic step-father treats his step-children.

The alcoholic step-father, who became an alcoholic from years spent trying to convince everyone of Clyde Drexler's greatness, treats his children terribly by robbing them and stealing their Air Jordan shoes. If they were Marbury or Webber shoes, it wouldn't come to this, but because Air Jordan shoes are so expensive, sometimes a child just has to get robbed. 

Jordan’s hate for Detroit was evident on the court, but behind closed doors he was plotting. When the call came to construct the Dream Team he saw his chance to put his power to use. He wasn’t going to play if a certain player was on the team.

Let's see, I hated the Pistons and I hated Michael Jordan. The Dream Team was winning the Gold medal no matter if Isiah Thomas or Marlo Thomas (just to stick with the 80's theme of this article) was the point guard. Yep, I don't really care what Jordan did or didn't do to keep Thomas off the team.

The author also conveniently leaves out that Isiah Thomas started the whole beef back in 1985 by freezing Michael Jordan out in the All-Star Game, but any evidence that may not make Jordan seem like the jerk the author believes him to be should be omitted. So the author complains the NBA made Michael Jordan into a product of marketing while claiming they were ignoring other NBA stars (which is absolutely false) in their marketing for the league, but in this column he only uses information that makes Jordan look bad in his treatment of Isiah Thomas while ignoring any culpability of Thomas in Jordan's behavior towards him.

At the time, Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas and John Stockton were the best PG’s in the NBA.

And two of them were on the Dream Team. Only 12 players could make the team. There are five positions on an NBA team and 12 spots on the Dream Team roster. There can't be three players at every position on the roster, so Thomas didn't make the team because Jordan (and a couple others) could play point guard if they absolutely needed him to. 

Even Jordan, with his childish ways, knew that, but because of the disrespect he felt the Pistons gave him over the years and with them walking off the court when they finally beat the “Bad Boys,” Jordan was going to make sure Thomas would never play for the gold.

So Jordan wouldn't play if Thomas was on the team because Thomas froze him out of an exhibition game and then Thomas acted like a fucking baby and wouldn't shake hands after the Bulls finally beat the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals? Jordan is the bad guy though? I don't like Michael Jordan, but it seems Thomas had some karma coming back to him for the bitch move of walking his team off the court in the Eastern Conference Finals. Maybe Thomas shouldn't piss off the best player in the NBA.

If Thomas played on the team, Jordan would not and the league was too busy making money off his brand that they could not afford to let that happen, so what did they do? The same thing they always done, they kissed his butt, gave him another pacifier and let him have his way.

So let me get this straight. The NBA was so busy making money off the 1992 Olympics they couldn't afford to have Michael Jordan not participate as part of the squad? It's hard to speculate accurately, but did the NBA have a reason to want Michael Jordan on the 1992 Dream Team instead of Isiah Thomas? I don't know, but I do know there were a lot of really good players left off the team. James Worthy didn't make the team either.

Despite this author's attempts to pin Thomas not being on the Dream Team solely on Michael Jordan, there were plenty of other players who may not have participated had Thomas joined the team. So losing Jordan probably wasn't ideal, but losing Barkley, Pippen, Bird and Jordan? That's enough to keep the third-best point guard in the NBA off the team. Tough choices had to be made anyway, so why choose a player who was on the border of not making the team AND there were plenty of guys on the team who didn't like him?

But in came Chuck Daly to head the Dream Team, one of the greatest coaches in history and also the coach of said Pistons and Thomas. That’s how you know this was all personal between Jordan and Thomas.

Why play for the coach and not with the player?

I don't think it's a question of whether Michael Jordan liked Isiah Thomas or not. He didn't. The fact Jordan didn't like Thomas doesn't mean that Jordan alone had Thomas kept off the Olympic team and that's why he's overrated and a jerk. 

Like I said, I respect what he accomplished on the court, but what he did to Thomas always rubbed me the wrong way. Imagine if LeBron did the same to Kevin Durant or Kobe Bryant — he would get crucified, but since it was Jordan it’s like it gets swept under the rug.

Yes, it gets swept under the rug in that 23 years later it is still talked about. If anything, the idea Jordan kept Thomas off the Dream Team has been discussed too much over the past 23 years. It's part of the lore of Michael Jordan and how competitive he was. If the author thinks Jordan allegedly keeping Thomas off the Dream Team has been swept under the rug then he hasn't been paying attention. 

He took his position of power within the NBA and took away a once in a lifetime chance for one of the games greats.

The numbers situation took away a lifetime chance for one of the games greats. That's what happened. I would love to hear from the author on which player (outside of Laettner, because one college player was making the team) that he would have left off. Who would it have been? The 11th person to make the team after the first 10 players was named was...get ready for it...Clyde Drexler. So should the guy who the author thinks was just as good at basketball as Jordan have been removed from the Dream Team? If not, who should have not made the team? There were only two centers who made the team, so one of those can't be removed. Pippen or Chris Mullin? That leaves the team short in terms of small forwards, and especially since Pippen could also play point guard, he had added value. The bottom line is there wasn't room for Thomas even if players other than Jordan didn't like him. 

I have mixed feelings about Daly as well.

Well, that's good to know. 

Thomas was your player and you agreed to go on without him. Tell Jordan to suck it up and be a man about the situation.

This would have been awkward for Chuck Daly to say considering he didn't pick the players that made the Dream Team. I'm sure Daly could have worked hard to get Thomas on the team, but he probably knew that would make his job a lot harder than it needed to be. Why fight so hard to bring on a guy that many of the players don't like anyway, a guy who is the third-best point guard on the roster? 

What about his Hall Of Fame speech? To some it was funny and entertaining but the reality of it was he took another opportunity and the spotlight of many others to stand on his mighty soapbox and show his true colors.

That's Michael Jordan. It's who he is. 

Wow, talk about a guy with a serious hero complex. He was still taking shots at guys for no reason. Still taking shots at Magic Johnson and George Gervin for freezing him out in the 1985 NBA All Star game, he flew the player he was passed over for in high school simply to rub it in his face.

How can we forget the classic line the “organization didn’t play with the flu in Utah” — oh wow, some balls on this guy.

Yes, wow, some balls on this guy. Jordan almost as much balls as it takes to claim in an article that Jordan was just the product of great marketing. And that link about Johnson and Gervin freezing out Jordan in the 1985 All Star Game is actually an article about Isiah Thomas freezing Jordan out. The author clearly wants to mislead his readers and pretend it wasn't Thomas who was behind Jordan being frozen out. If anyone is trying to sweep the truth under the rug, it's the author trying to sweep the truth of Thomas and his involvement in the Jordan freeze out under the rug.

There is a reason why Charles Barkley and Jordan have remained so close throughout the years while he and Pippen have not. Pippen was the flunky, while Chuck would easily tell Jordan about himself.

A person like Jordan needs that one to put him in his place (Derek Fisher and Bryant) and he respects that about Barkley. When everyone is kissing your backside you need someone to slap you in the face every once in a while.

So because Jordan wants someone to slap him in the fact and stop kissing his ass, he tried hard to get a player who probably at some point actually slapped him in the face and wouldn't kiss his ass left off the 1992 Dream Team? If you don't use logic at all, then this might make sense. Unfortunately, the idea Jordan respects people who don't kiss his ass, but conspired to have an NBA player who didn't kiss his ass left off the Dream Team doesn't square.

Respect is earned and as fast as you get it, it can be taken away. To many, Michael Jordan is untouchable, they can’t see why someone could not like they guy.

This article isn't about liking or not liking Jordan. It says that Michael Jordan is the most overrated NBA player. Please argue the point you are trying make in an effort to prove your claim. Don't move the goalposts or try to make it seem like you didn't call Jordan overrated and that's the same thing as simply not liking Jordan.

You like who you like, simple as that.

I just didn’t — or don’t — respect Michael Jordan.

You don't have to respect Michael Jordan. Even a stupid person knows not respecting someone doesn't mean that player is the most overrated person in NBA history. Don't be stupid and stop with the hot takes. I'm going to write something that you may not want to hear. Your writing is not good at all. This is an embarrassment on so many levels.

6 comments MMQB Review: Andy Dalton Is Totally Different Now Because He's Playing Well in the Regular Season Edition

Peter King declared the Philadelphia Eagles as being in trouble in last week's MMQB. He also stated that he doesn't think the Seahawks are in trouble. Of course, the Seahawks have Kam Chancellor back now, which helps their defense. Peter was also somewhat surprised the NFC East was a crazy division, even though it is generally a pretty crazy division every year. This week Peter talks about the boring week of NFL action, gets the "Patriots are going undefeated, maybe" train going fairly early before the Patriots even get close to the meat of their schedule, and talks about how this Andy Dalton who is playing well in the regular season is different from the other Andy Dalton from past years who played well in the regular season and then looked bad in the playoffs. The template is following a similar template from previous season, so I'm confused as to why this Dalton may be different. Isn't the real question about Dalton getting answered in the postseason?

This morning, we can see how a few more pieces fit into the 2015 NFL jigsaw puzzle. This wasn’t a particularly good weekend of pro football, and TVs across America must have clicked off with the three late-afternoon games being decided by 40, 27 and 26 points. (Average margin of victory on Sunday: 14.9 points.) 

The NFL does this shit from time-to-time during the season. It's not that they schedule bad games later in the day, but they schedule just three or so games later in the day to where there isn't a lot of interest if a few of the games are blowouts.

But every week we find out a little more about where the year’s headed.

A larger sample size gives a better indication of what conclusions can be reached about the sample? You have to be kidding me this is true.

The Bengals are in fabulous shape in the AFC North. At 3-0 after a crushing 28-24 win at 0-3 Baltimore on Sunday, Cincinnati is set up nicely for the fifth playoff appearance in Andy Dalton’s five years. “I’m as comfortable playing this game as I’ve ever been,” Dalton said from Baltimore. A 121.0 passer rating would seem to back him up. 

I pretend Peter is reading that first sentence in the voice of Tim Gunn and it makes my enjoyment of this passage increase two-fold. Peter has been really tough on Andy Dalton over the past few years. Dalton has been pretty good in the regular season, so the question arises when it comes to the playoffs. That's been the question for Dalton, if he can show up in the playoffs. Before Peter changes his narrative, he may want to consider what his narrative is first.

Jay Cutler, Tony Romo, Drew Brees … and now Roethlisberger. That’s four marquee quarterbacks hurt before the calendar turns to October. You can be sure the Competition Committee will be pushing for more offseason drill work for offensive linemen; players are now restricted from all offseason contact by the 2011 labor agreement. 

Oh sure, nothing gets done until the marquee quarterbacks start getting hurt. And also, I love how Jay Cutler is conveniently a "marquee" quarterback and not a shitty quarterback when it's important to place him in that category to prove a point. Cutler is marquee now. When he is no longer injured, then he will be a trash quarterback again.

The Patriots wake the echoes … of 2007. They’re already using the “U” word in New England. As in “undefeated.” New England went 16-0 in 2007, and advanced to a flawless-looking 3-0 Sunday against Jacksonville. More about that later, but as one of the ’07 team leaders, Rodney Harrison, opined Sunday night: “It’s 2007 all over again. Tom Brady’s playing like he’s 29, 30 years old.”

Man, Peter is jumping on the "Can the Patriots go undefeated" train pretty damn quick this year. Hey, it could very well happen, but it's not even Week 4 yet. How about not hammering readers over the head with this story this early?

Indianapolis is the most fortunate decent team in the league. AFC South standings: T-1. Indianapolis/Jacksonville/Houston/Tennessee (1-2). The Colts, their season on the brink, went from disaster to tied for the division lead exiting September in one afternoon. You wouldn’t think a 35-33 win at Tennessee would make a coach emotional after a game. But Chuck Pagano was.

The Colts were always going to be fine because they play in the AFC South. It's like the NFC South of the AFC, minus having more than one really good quarterback. It's just not a great division right now. The Colts will be fine partly for that reason. Also, Chuck Pagano deserves to keep his job. I'm Team Pagano.

There’s a reason you don’t have to worry about Peyton Manning’s health. The Denver defense is huge. “We just have ball hawks,” safety David Bruton said, a few minutes after making his third huge defensive play of the month, an athletic pick of Matthew Stafford to clinch the 24-12 win over Detroit. Stafford couldn’t breathe against the defensive pressure.

Eh, even if the Broncos defense is awesome I would still worry about the health of Peyton Manning. The Broncos defense is better than I gave it credit for a few weeks ago, but I still think it's good to worry about Peyton Manning's health. I haven't seen Brock Osweiler play yet, so I can't really comment on whether he is any good or not, but I imagine the Broncos don't necessarily want to find out while jockeying for a playoff spot.

The Raiders, usually out of it by now, will actually have a winning record as October dawns. The Raiders (2-1) play on the road next week—and they are actually favored to beat Chicago.

Jimmy Clausen, everyone! He's like Brandon Weeden, just without the skill set and ability to win an NFL game in a pinch.

The quarterback, Derek Carr, is a big reason. “Having a quarterback is everything,” said Charles Woodson from Cleveland.

Okay guys, apparently it's important to have a good quarterback in order to win NFL games. I'm still working to confirm this is true, so I don't want to speculate much more at this point. The best teams usually have really competent quarterbacks.

It’s early-bye time for New England. No team likes the Week 4 bye. This year, only the Patriots and Titans have it. Strange to have a bye before the leaves turn in Foxboro. “Rest, let your muscles chill and do what you have to do to be ready for next game,” Rob Gronkowski said Sunday. Taking stock of this team, you don’t want to make too much of the almost-too-easy win over the Jaguars,

Repeat after me, now it means Peter King will make a bit much of the Patriots' win over the Jaguars. He's not going to go overboard or anything though. He'll just start talking about the Patriots going undefeated when there are still 13 games in the regular season left to be played, plus three games in the postseason. Again, let's keep the reactions normal and not go overboard based on a 3-0 start.

That was a sick team eight years ago. The ’07 Patriots started with 24, 24 and 31-point wins, and didn’t have a game closer than 34-17 (Week 5, Cleveland) in the first half of the season. This year, New England handled Pittsburgh, which made it close in the second half. Ditto Buffalo, and then the Jaguars rout. It’s easy now to say Brady has never been better, but he was: in 2007. In the first three weeks then, the 30-year-old Brady completed 79.5% of his throws with a plus-nine TD-to-pick ratio and a rating of 141.8. This year, he’s completing 72.2%, with a plus-nine and a rating of 119.6. It’s like quibbling over whether driving a Mercedes or a BMW is a smoother ride, but Brady set his all-time standard in 2007. 

Let's not make too much of a home victory over an 0-3 team, but Peter wants his readers to see the parallels between this Patriots team and one of the greatest NFL teams of all-time. Again, he's keeping the discussion in hand and not writing something overly-presumptuous.

New England is likely to be favored in all of its remaining games—save, perhaps, for the Week 12 Sunday-nighter at Denver. 

And who even cares if the Broncos have Peyton Manning healthy or not with that Broncos defense?

Harrison told me over the summer that the league did Brady and the Patriots a huge favor with the long-running investigation into Brady’s honor—he’d be supremely motivated to stick it to the league this year, even more motivated than the hyper-focused player usually is. So far, Harrison’s been spot on.

I think a lot of people knew the Patriots were going to do a "Fuck You" tour of the NFL. But yes, so far after playing three teams that didn't make the playoffs last year Harrison has been spot-on.

And Brady still has one thing to accomplish that he hasn’t yet in his previous 16 pro seasons: winning ‘em all. Going 19-0. You’d be naïve to think he hasn’t thought of that—many times. 

It's fantastic to read that Peter isn't making too much of this victory over the Jaguars. He compares this team to the 2007 Patriots, says the Patriots are favored to win the rest of their games, and mentions that Tom Brady wants to go perfect on the season. It's a very low-key affair.

Think of the environment the Bengals walked into Sunday: Ravens home opener, Ravens at 0-2 in desperate straits knowing a loss would put them three games out in the division after three games, and then the little thing about the Ravens and Bengals not liking each other. And then think of Dalton getting stripped in the fourth quarter, having it returned for a score, and, after being up 14-0, trailing 17-14 with seven minutes left, crowd going nuts. 

I'm really enjoying Peter's somewhat 180 degree turn on Dalton. All Peter wrote about is how the playoffs are where Dalton will be judged, but then when Dalton has a good regular season Peter is all-in on Dalton having turned a corner.

First down, Bengals’ 20. Dalton drops. Green runs a seam route deep up the left side, bracketed by safeties Kendrick Lewis and Will Hill; the left corner, Jimmy Smith, was singled on the outside receiver. Dalton threw a perfect strike 36 yards in the air, between the two safeties, and Green won the race against them and Smith, who came over to try to help. Too late: 80-yard touchdown. But the Ravens came back to take another lead. And here came Dalton again, taking over at his 20 again. “We’re going to need every one of you here,” he said in the huddle. “I trust every one of you to make plays right now.”

The Bengals players were all possibly thinking, "But we aren't sure if we trust you to make plays right now. Wait, it's the regular season? Well then, we trust you. In that playoffs? We are still shaky on that." 

In two drives during the last seven minutes, Dalton drove the Bengals 160 yards for two touchdowns … in a total of one minute and 58 seconds. “I’ve got a lot of confidence in what we’re doing,” Dalton said. “Once you’ve been in a system for a while and you know your receivers, you get a lot more confident, and that’s where I am with these guys right now.”

I will say this for Andy Dalton. He didn't have a lot to work with against the Colts last year in the playoffs and the way the Bengals have invested in offensive weapons for Dalton (Bernard, Hill, Eifert) will start to pay off for them once those players get more experience. So I haven't made excuses for Dalton in the past, but he didn't have a ton to work with in the playoffs last year and Jermaine Gresham wasn't exactly the most reliable of tight ends. 

I’d like to see Dalton’s three October tests, all against pressure defenses (Kansas City at home, Seattle at home, at Buffalo), before saying anything definitive about him. But what I saw Sunday, I liked a lot.

It sounds like you are pretty high on him Peter. For good reason, but before the season you were hinting that you aren't even sure Dalton would make it through the whole season without A.J. McCarron replacing him. 

Again: Dalton’s been a good regular-season quarterback (43-23-1, 107 touchdowns, 67 picks), and a maddening postseason one (0-4, one touchdown, six interceptions). Cincinnati won’t love him until that changes. But that can’t change in September, and what Dalton has done in September is all he can do. It’s been plenty good enough.

Excluding nationally televised games, Andy Dalton has usually done in September what he needs to do. Before any conclusions can be reached about Dalton, he would need to perform in the postseason before writers like Peter King get off his ass. 

The city of Pittsburgh sighs.

The injury is a strain of the MCL and a bone bruise. But the ACL is intact. Roethlisberger thought the worst when he left the field, because of the pain. And the Steelers have to feel good that Tomlin banged the drum to get Vick in the building as the backup, because he’s played in the kind of games he’ll have to win beginning Thursday night—against Baltimore, in a rabid-rivalry game at home.

Yes, Mike Vick has played in these types of games. Has he played WELL in these games? That's the real question. Maybe he'll even prepare for the game for a little bit. Steelers fans shouldn't worry because Vick seems to pay attention and prepare for a few weeks, then gets bored with game preparation and starts committing turnovers. By the time Vick gets bored, Roethlisberger will hopefully be back from his injury.

Three questions for… Richie Incognito.

But first, a stat: Through three games, the former Dolphins guard—as mentioned above, Pro Football Focus’s top-rated guard in the NFL—has surrendered one quarterback disruption (either a quarterback sack, hit or pressure). The Dolphins’ starting guards have given up 26.

My sense is Incognito will enjoy that one.

Yeah, in your face Dolphins! That's what you get for getting rid of Richie Incognito after he bullied Jonathan Martin. Incognito got done wrong and now he's getting vengeance by playing well. This is a lesson to the Dolphins that if they don't let their players bully teammates then they will be punished for daring to have some semblance of a backbone.

Through three weeks, NFL teams have missed 14 of the newfangled extra points, after missing 26 in the previous four seasons combined. With the line of scrimmage for the PAT pushed back from the two- to the 15-yard line, it’s obviously not such a gimme anymore. And that’s good. When a play is 99.6% successful, the pertinent question is why they play should exist. I loved what happened Sunday night in the Detroit-Denver game, when Bronco Aqib Talib blocked a Lions extra point, and cornerback Chris Harris picked it up and ran it 52 yards toward the opposite end zone before being tackled by Detroit’s Eric Ebron. If Harris had made it all the way, Denver would have been awarded two points, and a 7-6 Bronco lead would have grown to 9-6. The change was made to add some excitement to a dull play, and while I wouldn’t call a 33-yard extra point kick “exciting,” it certainly makes the point or points after touchdown more interesting than before …

Yes, the extra point is more interesting now. How often is the extra point going to get blocked? Probably not very often, but I guess there is some excitement that could occur and that's a good thing. Peter's love of the new extra point rules is finally justified based solely on this one play. 

Playing without Luke Kuechly (concussion), the Panthers bent on defense, giving Luke McCown-led New Orleans 380 total yards, but didn’t break at the end of a 27-22 win. One of the game’s rising-star corners, Josh Norman, plucked a McCown pass intended for Brandin Cooks out of the sky. “I saw a bone, and I went up and got it,” Norman said. A bone? “Yeah, a bone. The ball. God gave me wings to fly, and I went up and got it. All the guys on this defense can make plays. Do your job. Be in the defense. I’m doing some pretty good stuff. I think we all are.”

God gave Norman wings this year, but he apparently gave Norman a bad attitude and the ability to make mistakes over past seasons. Still, Norman is on a contract drive, so he should be rewarded for trying really hard this one year with a new contract where he wants to get paid like all the other overpaid Top-5 corners in the NFL get overpaid. He has earned the right to be overpaid. 

Then Peter eulogizes Yogi Berra and apparently Peter was neighbors with Berra when Peter lived in Montclair. I'm sure that was a rough period of time for Yogi when Peter followed behind Berra when he walked around in public writing down all of his conversations. I wonder if Peter ever asked Berra if he considered Derek Jeter to be the greatest player in Peter's lifetime (but not really lifetime, because Peter only meant over whatever time span makes him seem less crazy)?

“I don’t care. It’s just a ball.”

—Tom Brady, asked how he felt about Danny Amendola—the receiver of Brady's 400th NFL touchdown Sunday in Foxboro—handing the ball to a fan in the end zone after making the historic catch.

Besides, the ball was probably slightly deflated anyway, and rather than Brady keep the ball and run the risk of the NFL finding out was underinflated by 0.3 PSI, it's better if a fan keeps the keep the ball. We wouldn't want Roger Goodell subpoenaing Brady's cell phone and a blood sample in order to prove he intentionally underinflated the football by a few tenths of a PSI. That would ruin the integrity of the game.  

“I think there’s a little bit of karma coming back to him. Nelson Agholor hasn’t replaced Jeremy Maclin. Jeremy Maclin was a class-act guy. You can’t just replace people like they’re things, you know what I mean? Like they’re toys that you’re tired of playing with because you want something new. So I hope that he loses. I hope he loses every game.”

—Former Jets linebacker and current CBS NFL analyst Bart Scott, on Chip Kelly, to WFAN radio in New York.

Criticizing Bart Scott for these comments is a layup. And not just because Scott doesn't begin to realize how much stiches cost. 

2. Jeremy Maclin left the Eagles to sign a free-agent contract last winter with Kansas City. In 2012, Maclin was the 28th-leading receiver in football, with 69 catches. In 2013, he missed the season with a torn ACL. In 2014, Maclin was the 13th-leading receiver in football, with 85 catches. He signed a five-year, $55-million contract with the Chiefs, which, at the time, was tied for the fourth-richest contract (per season) for a wide receiver in NFL history. Maybe letting Maclin walk for the fourth-richest receiver contract ever will be seen as a dumb decision in the long-term, though I doubt it. Smart teams let good players take exorbitant deals in free agency, and draft good players to replace them. I don’t know if this will work out; it’s obviously a gamble by the Chiefs to pay the money, and a gamble by Kelly to not meet Maclin’s demands. But I’d rather pay Agholor $2.3 million a year for the next four years (his rookie deal) than pay Maclin $11 million.

It's almost like Bart Scott, as an NFL analyst, is shitty at his job doing those things which involve actually analyzing a situation. Scott can't put aside his personal feelings and opinions and analyze a situation from a neutral point of view. Obviously CBS had to sign him to be one of their ridiculous vapid talking heads as soon as Scott retired. It's hard to find analysts who actually suck at analyzing. 

3. Did Baltimore GM Ozzie Newsome “replace people like they’re things” when he let Torrey Smith and Pernell McPhee walk in the off-season, as he does every year? Did John Elway treat tight end Julius Thomas “like a toy” for letting him go to Jacksonville for $9.2 million a year in free agency? Or Jerry Jones, with DeMarco Murray, when Murray got $8 million a year in Philadelphia? No. They made business decisions.

Let's not forget that Bart Scott left the Ravens so that he could pursue a big free agent contract with the Jets. I don't think he thought that Newsome just replaced him without a second thought, but it was a business decision. This is why not every pro athlete that is loquacious should end up working in the media after his career is over. Talking and talking to where you say something smart are two different things.

It's hard to agree with Peter, but I do agree with him here. Comments like this from Bart Scott is why I don't ever watch NFL pregame shows. I don't need that type of stupidity in my life. I like football, not listening to idiots who think they know what they are talking about discussing football.

The Award Section

OFFENSIVE PLAYERS OF THE WEEK

Devonta Freeman, running back, Atlanta. The 2014 fourth-round pick from Florida State is supposed to be a complementary back, not a feature back.

I don't know why Freeman was supposed to be a complementary back. I guess it was his height that was the issue or something. I don't know if he was selected just to be a complementary back or anything of the like. 

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Josh Norman, cornerback, Carolina. Channeling his inner Odell Beckham Jr., with the Panthers protecting a 27-22 lead over the Saints with 80 seconds left, Norman, a rising-star cornerback,

Peter has mentioned Josh Norman three times in this column and each time he linked the story about Norman being a rising star where he labels Norman "a rising star" with the link. It just so happens to be a MMQB story and it's annoying. We get it. You want us to read the story. You don't have to link the same story over and over and over again.

Just a beautiful play, at the precise time his team had to have it. It was the difference between the Panthers being 3-0 and tied for the AFC South lead,

Yep Peter, the Panthers play in the NFC South, not the AFC South. Though even if their record were 2-1 then that would still be in the lead in the AFC South.

Norman added five tackles. He’s turning into one of the best cornerbacks in the league.

Norman is more motivated than he has ever been because he is a free agent after the season and he wants to get paid. He wants to get paid, so he's motivated. Therefore I hope the Panthers don't back up a Brinks truck and pay him. He's never put together a full season of great cornerback play, but wants to be paid like a Top-5 corner.

The first nine Chicago drives at Seattle ended in punts.

The first nine New England drives against Jacksonville ended in scores.

It's almost like one team started Jimmy Clausen at quarterback against a really good defense and the other team started Tom Brady at quarterback against a not really good defense. 

I do love the extra point rule...it's creating havoc

— trey wingo (@wingoz) September 27, 2015

Yes Peter, we get it. You like the new extra point rule and will do anything in your power to point out other people like it too and think it's the greatest NFL innovation since anonymous sources in the league office that lie to you and give you false information which you report as true, then later apologize for. The new rule is okay. You can lay off giving testimonials and having others give testimonials to the greatness of this new rule.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Police erected 40 miles of barriers in the city, and 818 tons of concrete barriers. The New York Post quoted a law enforcement source as saying security for the visit was like “a POTUS [visit] on steroids.” POTUS, as in President of the United States.
I’ve lived in Manhattan for only four years, but the prep for his visit was superb—like none I’ve seen. Nothing bad was happening to this Pope.

I like how a law enforcement "source" said the visit was like "a POTUS on steroids." Why did this source have to be anonymous or even a source? It can't be said out loud that the Pope's visit has an insane amount of security? Like this is some secret and they want to bait a person trying to kill the Pope into testing the security? Would this source really get in trouble for describing the amount of security around the Pope?

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 3:

Probably nothing, since it was a boring week of football and all. 

a. Tom Brady, joining the 400 touchdown club. I’ll take a bet right now that he hits 500.

I think that is bet that a lot of people would take. It's Week 4 of the NFL season and Brady has averaged 32.5 touchdowns per season since he came back from his knee injury. So if Brady gets 25 more touchdowns this season (which he is on pace to obliterate), then he will only have to play about 2.5 seasons to get to 500 touchdowns. Barring a huge, career-ending injury I do think he will get to 500 touchdowns. 

f. Lone Niner bright spot: the 37-yard punt return by Aussie Jarryd Hayne.

The media loves themselves some Jarryd Hayne. He's from Australia and has never played in the NFL before. Do you know this story? If you don't then you either (a) don't like the NFL, (b) are illiterate and can't read or (c) don't have a Twitter account or don't follow any NFL media members on Twitter or (d) are lying.

It is a great story, don't get me wrong. I've read it and heard it quite a bit.

h. You can’t stop Joseph Randle. You can only hope … aww, you know the rest.

You can only hope he doesn't steal men's underwear and cologne from a department store? 

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 3:

a. That mangy-looking ShopVac vacuuming the field in the Ed Jones Dome after the turf caught on fire.

Yes, there should be a nicer looking ShopVac available in order to vacuum the field, you know, for all the times that the turf catches fire and all.

Look Peter, the Rams are already packing up their shit to move to Los Angeles. The nice ShopVac is in a box somewhere, so they had to go with the uglier one. Sorry it offends your senses, but it's all they had when the other was packed up.

i. Whatever rehab plan Baltimore rookie receiver Breshad Perriman is on. Sixty-one days ago, he tweaked his knee in practice, a tweaking so seemingly minor that John Harbaugh said after practice that day—I was there—about Perriman’s availability: “It could be as early as tomorrow, or a couple of days at the most.” Perriman is practicing. There’s that.

Clearly, the only conclusion that can be drawn by this is that Breshad Perriman is a pussy. Either that or he just doesn't want to play. I know it is frustrating for fans to not see Perriman on the field, but John Harbaugh isn't a doctor and it obviously was more than just a minor tweak or else Perriman would be on the field already. Maybe he should find some of that deer antler spray in Ray Lewis's old locker. 

k. St. Louis tight end Lance Kendricks, with an inexplicable drop, open behind the defense, for what should have been the go-ahead touchdown late in the first half against the Steelers.

An inexplicable drop. I bet the Steelers didn't even double-cover Kendricks when he lined up wide to the left. That's inexplicable too. You ALWAYS double-cover a tight end when he is split out wide. It's an Easterbrookian rule. 

3. I think if I were Todd Bowles, I’d be worried about Darrelle Revis. He’s 30 now. He suffered a strained groin last week, and left Sunday’s game against the Eagles with some hamstring injury. Revis said post-game he was fine, and maybe he is. But this is the cornerstone of the New York secondary, obviously, and if we’re not even to the end of September and he’s got an iffy groin and hamstring, that’s troubling.

I'm sure Revis will miss a good portion of this season, come back and play well next season, and then stage a holdout for more money. So Todd Bowles probably should worry more about the eventual holdout than anything else. 

4. I think if I were the 49ers, I’d be extremely concerned with Colin Kaepernick. His TD-to-Interception ratio in the past 10 games is 8-to-9, and he’s had one 300-yard passing game in that time. “I was 100% responsible,” he said about the embarrassing loss to Arizona on Sunday. Well, 80% maybe. But Kaepernick was awful.

I wouldn't worry about the guy that Ron Jaworski thinks could be the greatest quarterback in NFL history. He will be absolutely fine. The 49ers have simplified the offense or him (though they do have downfield passes in their system which they couldn't do with Alex Smith as the quarterback because he refuses to throw downfield) and everything will be fine. I don't know if I'm being sarcastic or not. Maybe a little bit, but Kaepernick is playing in a new offensive system. Give him some more time. 

5. I think the NFL had better have a good explanation (Ed Hochuli, too) for Cam Newton’s postgame claim Sunday concerning a borderline late hit on him. Newton wanted a personal foul called on the hit but it wasn’t flagged, and he said after the game: “The response I got [from Hochuli] was, ‘Cam, you’re not old enough to get that call.’ I didn’t think you had to have seniority to get a personal foul or anything like that.” I’m sure Hochuli will say (assuming he agrees that this is what he said) that he was joking. But it’s not something to joke about. The league’s got to get on this one this morning.

Shocking no one, the NFL was basically like, "Nah, Newton was lying about that. We believe our official over Newton."

Maybe Newton was lying, but I think it's funny this is all over a late hit that really wasn't a late hit if you ask me. It was very borderline, but clearly if you saw the video then you saw Newton's face after Hochuli said something to him. Maybe instead of saying he wasn't old enough to get the call, he said that Newton is not an entertainer and icon. Perhaps that's the reason for Newton's shocked face.

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

c. Jeter and Harbaugh, at the Big House. Cool sight before BYU-Michigan.

Yeah, super cool. Derek Jeter, the greatest player of Peter's generation.*

*Meaning over the last 25 years, which still isn't true.

f. Mike Trout doesn’t just hit home runs.

Yep, we know that Peter. You must have missed the last three seasons of arguments over the American League MVP award. Trout's defense was an integral part of this debate, but way to be three years late with your observations.

h. Having said that, I do hate the one-game wild-card playoff. It’s unfair for teams that have played 162 games to make the playoffs, and poof, it can be gone with one lousy inning.

I have always been against the one-game Wild Card playoff. I think it should be a three-game series. All of a sudden though, with no explanation, I think I don't hate the one-game Wild Card playoff anymore. It's like a flip switched somehow and my opinion changed after reading these two sentences that Peter wrote. 

k. Can the three teams from the National League Central—as of Friday morning, St. Louis, Pittsburgh and Chicago were 1-2-3 in major-league baseball in wins—just play a World Series round robin this year? Such a shame that, most likely, the Cubs and Pirates will meet in the play-in game, and three hours later, one of them will be out.

If the MLB playoffs still worked like they did before the Wild Card then one of these teams wouldn't even make the playoffs. Heck, if the MLB playoffs worked like they did before the second Wild Card then one of these teams wouldn't even be in the playoffs. So as much as I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate the one-game Wild Card playoff, in this case it at least gives one of these teams a chance to go further into the playoffs. 

m. If you’re Joe Maddon, do you pitch Jake Arrieta at Pittsburgh in the play-in game? If you’re the Pirates, in line to play the third play-in game in three years, aren’t you tired of facing aces? Johnny Cueto and the Reds two years ago, Madison Bumgarner and the Giants last year, and probably Arrieta this year.

If you are the Pirates, don't you understand that if you are playing a one-game Wild Card playoff against another good team then you will probably face that other team's ace? If you are the Pirates, aren't you happy that you have Gerrit Cole? I don't get this comment. Most teams who are on the borderline of making the playoffs have an ace of some sort. In a one-game playoff, that's the guy who gets the start. Maybe the Pirates should try winning the division and avoiding the one-game Wild Card playoff. 

o. Bryce Harper: 1.125 OPS. That is one insane number. No one in baseball is within 100 points of him.

Yeah, but his team isn't winning so he isn't as a valuable as a lesser player on a better team. How can Harper be valuable if he doesn't have better players around him than another player whose team made the playoffs does? 

s. Beernerdness: So happy for the great people at Allagash Brewery in Portland, Maine. Allagash White, which is only the greatest beer of all time, won gold in the Belgian Witbier category this weekend at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver. That’s my little pet beer category, and Allagash White’s the best I’ve had.

(Bengoodfella shakes head sadly) I like Belgian Witbier okay, but open your mind to other beers or talk about different beers in a MMQB. Every week Peter talks about how much he likes white beers and Witbiers. I'm not sure if I have ever heard of Peter liking a darker beer. It's not a big deal, but he's really not a beer nerd if he only talks about one kind of beer, is he?

u. I know some would say, “Keep politics out of this, Pope Francis. You’re not qualified to talk about global warming, and you have no idea what’s causing the discord in the Mideast and it’s easy for you to say everyone should take in refugees—just stick to religion.” I say: “Keep the pressure on, Pope. Keep talking about things that matter, especially global warming. Go get ‘em.”

Peter's opinion is that some might say the Pope doesn't have the knowledge to give his opinion on these matters, but Peter thinks because these issues matter then the Pope should continue giving his opinion. I wonder if Peter would agree with this if the Pope started spouting off about gun rights and issues that Peter doesn't agree with? I think I know the answer. But yeah, keep spouting off about subjects that matter, because Peter agrees with you on these issues. I bet Peter doesn't like it if the Pope starts espousing opinions like those of Kim Davis. They did meet after all. 

The Adieu Haiku

Pagano can speak.
Wall broken down in Nashville.
Colts ran through that thing.

This Adieu Haiku is broken down and this is another awful one. I think Peter ran through his creative ideas for a haiku about two years ago. Make it stop. 

0 comments Dan Shaughnessy Antagonizes Derek Jeter Who Antagonizes Shaughnessy Back, Making Derek Jeter My Hero for the Day

Dan Shaughnessy is a troll. It's well-known and been discussed on this blog at length. He's the worst, just like I call about 10 other sportswriters "the worst." Shaughnessy is his own kind of trolling worst though. He's antagonistic towards others, writes columns with a snarky tone just in case he's wrong and doesn't want to be called on it, and has really curly hair that isn't funny except for the fact he's a troll so it's funny because he has a whi-fro. So Dan Shaughnessy wanted to ask Derek Jeter if he was going to play the three games of the season in Boston if the Yankees were out of the playoff hunt. See, Ted Williams didn't play his last three games before retiring, so that's the angle Dan took. So The Jeter came back at Dan with a little snark of his own and it was fairly glorious. The Jeter is my hero of the day now.

Every Red Sox fan knows Ted Williams hit a home run in his final at-bat in the big leagues.

(Bengoodfella makes a joke about the pink hat Red Sox fans not knowing who Ted Williams is)

What you probably don’t know is that the Red Sox had three more games on the schedule, in New York, after Williams’s farewell blast.

I did know that, but only because I am a loser and had very few friends as a child. I always pointed this out when the talk about Ted Williams insisting on playing the last game of the season when he was hitting .400 in 1941 began. Williams did hit a home run in his last at-bat in the majors, but he also didn't play in the last three games of the season. It doesn't change what Williams did, only alters the story around it a little bit.

Williams didn’t go with his teammates to Yankee Stadium. The Sox were already 29 games out of first place and nobody seemed to mind him finishing on a high note.

And 1960 Bill Simmons had stopped paying attention to the Red Sox because he was a baseball widow at that point, while 1960 Dan Shaughnessy wrote a column about how Ted Williams isn't the leader we thought he was because he retired before winning the Red Sox a World Series. He would write that Williams has a swing like Harry Hooper, but Williams prefers to be standoffish and short to the media rather than answer questions about his shortcomings. Then later Shaughnessy says the same thing about Carl Yastrzemski, who had a swing like Ted Williams, but couldn't win the Red Sox a title. The cycle continued until modern day when Shaughnessy once wrote Adrian Gonzalez had a swing like Ted Williams and later ripped Gonzalez for all of his shortcomings.

All of which brings us to Derek Sanderson Jeter, the 40-year-old captain of the New York Yankees, who plans to hang up his spikes at the end of the season.

I never knew Derek Jeter's middle name. I always assumed he didn't have a middle name or his middle name was "Captain" or "Clutch."

The Yankees play their final home game against the Orioles Thursday, Sept. 25. And then they finish their season in Boston with three games against the Red Sox. Any chance Jeter would pull a Ted if the Yankees are out of playoff contention?

I don't know Dan, why don't you ask Derek Jeter? But don't ask him, antagonize the shit out of him. That'll get him to give you a straight answer.

I’ve been thinking about this for weeks

Apparently Dan thinks about pointless things when he can't rip the Red Sox/Patriots/Celtics/Bruins for being terrible disappointments. Dan already called the Red Sox the Kansas City Royals of the East, then ended up with egg on his face as the Red Sox signed Rusney Castillo to a $72.5 million deal. So he's going to stay away from criticizing the Red Sox too much at this point. He looked like an asshole the last time he went all-in on the Red Sox for trading Adrian Gonzalez, Josh Beckett and Carl Crawford and then the Red Sox won the World Series the next year.

So what about it, Derek: “If the Yankees are eliminated from postseason play by Sept. 25, is it possible you won’t play the games in Boston?’’

Yes, the man who has never answered a question he didn't want to and never answered a question that in any way involved speculation during his career is now going to start doing exactly this. Sure.

Ever-polite, Jeter put up his hand and stopped me in mid-question.

“I don’t deal in hypotheticals,’’ he said.

Then Jeter smiled and said, "I only deal in attractive brunettes. Bring one of those to The Jeter, then we can talk."

Fair enough. Let’s try it another way.

“If you’re healthy, will you play the games in Boston?’’

That's pretty much the exact same question re-phrased. Seems like it is still a hypothetical.

“Why would I not?’’ he answered.

That seems clear enough. Jeter will play in Boston. He will be the same guy he has been for 20 seasons. He will honor his team and Major League Baseball. He will not do anything that would compromise the integrity of the game.

Not playing in the final games in Boston would not be compromising the integrity of baseball. In fact, I probably wouldn't play in the final three games if I were Jeter, because I would want my last few games to be played in New York and not on the road. It is not failing to honor MLB by skipping the last three games in Boston. I see how Dan is already painting a story in his mind for when Jeter skips those final three games.

“Do you know what Ted did in his last game?’’ I asked.

“He hit a home run, right?’’ answered Jeter.

Every Red Sox fan knows this. So does this mean The Jeter is really a Red Sox fan?

Williams’s homer cut a Sox deficit to 4-3. Williams was sent out to left field for the ninth inning, then replaced by Carroll Hardy. The Sox rallied in the bottom of the inning. Willie Tasby wound up batting with the bases loaded and one out, and the Sox won the game when Baltimore’s infield butchered a double play grounder. 

Most of you know I'm not a huge fan of stories that are slightly factually incorrect in order to create a narrative or make the story more exciting and engaging. I make exceptions. In this case, Ted Williams hit a home run in his last at-bat and I don't understand the need for Dan Shaughnessy to try and make it seem like Williams did something to the integrity of baseball by being lifted in the 9th inning. That's just Dan though. He's not happy until everyone is unhappy.

If Tasby walked in that at-bat, Williams would have been due up with the bases loaded in a 4-4 game. But he’d already been lifted.

Yes, but Tasby didn't walk and Williams never would have batted. Crisis averted, history hasn't changed. We all move on.

The game had been compromised.

What? The game had been compromised because of a situation that never occurred potentially occurring? This makes no sense. Ted Williams was lifted after getting a chance to take his position in left field one more time. Dan Shaughnessy sucks.

A decade later, in his official autobiography with John Underwood, Williams claimed the decision to blow off the Yankee series was made before the final Fenway game:

“The team still had a doubleheader in New York that weekend, but I went to [manager Mike] Higgins and said, ‘Mike this is the last game I’m going to play. I don’t want to go to New York.’ “He said, ‘All right, you don’t have to go.’ Regardless of what I had done, this was it, I’d had it.’’

Here is the main issue that prevents me from giving a shit or thinking this situation is an issue...Ted Williams would never have batted even if he stayed in the game. If anything, with Ted Williams hitting behind Tasby there is less of a chance Orioles would have walked Tasby to get the bases loaded for Ted Williams. No matter who lifted Williams or why he was lifted, he was never going to bat in the 9th inning. So it doesn't matter.

According to the late Roy Mumpton of the Worcester Telegram, Williams had told some writers that he wanted to go out with a homer. Mumpton told Ed Linn, another Williams biographer, 

“If he hadn’t hit the home run, he would have gone on to New York. I’m sure of that.’’

In his 1961 book on Williams (“The Eternal Kid”), Linn wrote, “The official Red Sox line was that it had been understood all along that Ted would not be going to New York unless the pennant race was still alive. The fact of the matter, of course, is that Williams made the decision himself, and he did not make it until after he had hit the home run.’’

It does not matter. Ted Williams had earned the right to exit the game in the way he wanted to exit the game. Just like Derek Jeter has earned this right. After 20 years of hearing all about he plays the game the right way and respects the game of baseball, I can't handle hearing about how Jeter has compromised the integrity of baseball by skipping the last three games of this season. It's too much for my emotions to handle.

Linn claimed Williams’s equipment bag was packed for the trip to the Big Apple.

And yet, it happened over 50 years ago and it doesn't matter now.

Jeter would never do this. It would fly in the face of everything his career has stood for. Right?

“I can’t even think about that,’’ said the Yankee captain. “I’ve gone my entire career without answering hypotheticals. I don’t like jinxing anything. I’m playing today.’’

That is the third time Jeter has essentially answered the same question based on a hypothetical. Now comes time for The Jeter to burn Dan Shaughnessy.

That sounds as if he’s leaving some wiggle room for not coming to Boston.

“I’m not leaving any wiggle room,’’ he said. “I’ve never spoken on a hypothetical in my entire career. My job is playing the game today, Sept. 2. That’s the game I’m playing.’’

If Dan kept asking the same questions over and over again to guys like Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford, then no wonder they were short with him and wouldn't give him the answers he wants.

“Yeah, I understand it,’’ said Jeter. “Mo didn’t pitch in Houston last year [the Yankees played meaningless games in Houston after Mariano Rivera said goodbye to the fans at Yankee Stadium].
“It depends on the situation, I guess. I don’t know what Ted’s situation was and I didn’t know him well enough to comment on it.

And after Mariano Rivera didn't pitch in the last games of the season on the road against Houston baseball was never the same. When a Hall of Famer like Rivera doesn't show respect for the game of baseball and comprises the integrity of the sport then it is amazing there was even a 2014 season to be played. It almost ruined the sport.

“Don’t dissect this,’’ he added, smiling. “It’s not complicated. Don’t complicate things for yourself.’’

There you go, Jeter. The Jeter is showing contempt for Shaughnessy and being condescending towards him as well. I always knew The Jeter had good qualities hidden somewhere.

As I excused myself from the captain’s cubicle, Jeter had one question.

So after Dan Shaughnessy was done asking the same question four times to Derek Jeter and hinted (at least in this column) the right thing to do would be to play the last three games in Boston, Jeter wanted to taunt Dan some for not doing his job.

“You never asked Ted about it?’’ he wondered.

Now this is a valid point. Dan Shaughnessy, who inexplicably has won awards for his writing, had a chance to ask Ted Williams exactly what happened. Whether Williams pulled himself from those last three games as a plan prior to his home run or this was planned after he hit the home run against the Orioles? After all, since Dan seems so concerned about it and he would have access to Ted Williams, doesn't this seem like a logical question to ask?

“No,’’ I said.

And why would Dan ask Ted Williams? If Dan isn't trolling his readers, tearing into a Boston-area player for his perceived shortcomings or simply trying to gain attention, what does it benefit him to do actual sports journalism? Dan isn't capable of real journalism that isn't purely a ploy to gain attention for himself.

“Well, you blew it,’’ he acknowledged. “You blew your opportunity.’’

You bleeeeeeeeew it! 

This makes me wish Jeter had talked more. Maybe this is Jeter's plan. He will just buck up to all of the asshole sportswriters who have annoyed him through the years. It's funny and it's true. He could have asked Ted Williams these questions and he didn't. Dan had chances and he never took them.

But see what Jeter probably knows is that Dan Shaughnessy didn't want to ask Ted Williams. He didn't care to ask Ted Williams when the decision to not play in the final three games of the 1960 season was made. Dan has no interest in that. He only has interest in how Ted Williams didn't play the last three games of the 1960 season as it relates to how he can write an article about Derek Jeter not playing against the Red Sox during the last week of this season. That's all. Long-term, Dan wants a chance to rip Jeter if he doesn't play in those last three games of the season, and short-term, he wants to antagonize Jeter by asking him questions Dan knows he won't answer.

Sad, but true.
Thanks, Captain Yankee. See you at Fenway Sept. 28.

Could Dan be more of a dick? "See you at Fenway Sept. 28." The Jeter didn't say he would be playing in those games for sure. He said he didn't answer hypotheticals and was planning on playing. I'm just glad Jeter got Dan back by pointing out how all the mystery surrounding when the decision for Williams to not play in the last regular season games of his career could have been partially avoided if Dan had just done real journalism and asked Williams if/when given the chance. 

I hope Jeter doesn't play so Dan can rip him for not playing. That's an article I would cover right here on this blog. 

2 comments The NBA Lottery Results Make Bill Plaschke a Sad Little Man

The NBA lottery results are in and the Los Angeles Lakers did not get the #1 overall draft pick, which was apparently completely expected in the mind of Bill Plaschke. Bill is frustrated, sad, insolent, indolent, lactose intolerant and regretful over the season the Lakers had that wasn't even rewarded with a top-3 draft pick. Those assholes in Cleveland got the #1 overall pick and they totally didn't deserve it like the Lakers deserved the #1 overall pick...or at least a top-3 pick. See, it's better for the NBA if the Lakers are good and that's why Bill is so angry and has become a sad little man. What's good for the Lakers is good for the NBA! If the Lakers win, the NBA wins. Can't the NBA see this? It's good for the NBA that one (multiple officials if you ask me) rigged Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals in favor of the Lakers. It's good for the NBA when superstars come to Los Angeles to play for the Lakers (but not the Clippers of course). It's so...well, this is just unbearable for Bill and he writes about his feelings on the subject in an article featuring his signature one sentence paragraphs.

The best and most appropriate reaction to the Lakers' luck Tuesday came from the Jerry Buss and Chick Hearn dolls sitting on James Worthy's desk.

Next paragraph!

Shaking, shaking, shaking their heads.

Whew, that was an exhausting sentence to write! Next paragraph!

EVEN THE BOBBLEHEAD DOLLS KNEW THE DRAFT LOTTERY WAS RIGGED AGAINST THE LAKERS BY NOT BEING RIGGED IN FAVOR OF THE LAKERS!

For their final act of the 2013-14 season, the Lakers tanked the lottery. More than a month after their final game, the Lakers managed one more loss.

The Lakers dropped one spot from #6 to #7. Let's keep it in perspective. The reason the Lakers were in the lottery is they have several injured, fairly expensive players who are in the mid-30's. The Lakers acquired a guy like Nash and combined with him Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol in the hopes it would lead to a championship. The Lakers team stayed pretty injured this year and I don't feel bad for them. Of course Lakers fans aren't used to a bad season, so the whining from sportswriters about the situation begins.

The team with the sixth-worst record in the NBA will somehow draft seventh

Not "somehow," but the Cavaliers moved into the lottery which meant other teams like the Lakers got pushed back in the lottery. There's no "somehow" involved. The Lakers falling back one pick (and let's be honest, it's not like the #6 spot is just a much, much better spot to be in) had a clear cause for why it occurred.

after those pingpong balls paddled the Lakers all over Times Square during a lottery drawing that felt like a contrived episode of "Survivor."

I'm not sure Bill understands how "Survivor" works. When I watched the show 12 years ago competitors voted each other off the island. Other NBA teams didn't vote for the Lakers to move back one pick, though if NBA teams could vote for other NBA teams to move back the Lakers would probably be a prime candidate to move back as far as possible. The Lakers would potentially be voted to move back into the second round.

The final three teams were represented by a tall NBA legend from Philadelphia, a young woman from Milwaukee in a treacherously short dress,

Okay perv, her dress wasn't that short. I'm won't post a picture here but Mallory Edens' picture was all over the Internet the day after the lottery. Her dress wasn't that short and I'm happy to see Bill Plaschke has Gregg Easterbrook Disease and takes time to check out 18 year old girls and comment on their attire. Not at all slightly creepy.

and a nerdy dude from Cleveland with a 1.7% chance of winning. Of course, the nerdy dude won.

(Bill Plaschke) "Nerds are taking over the world! This has to end! What a bunch of losers."

(Bill then goes to the local YMCA swimming pool to check out the high school girls in their bathing suits)

For the third time in four years, the Cavaliers will have the top pick, their general manager, David Griffin, clapping in glee while Julius Erving rolled his eyes in disgust and Mallory Edens — a Bucks co-owner's daughter and the newest Internet sensation — simply blushed.

Because a team that lost 26 games in a row or the team that just gave a huge contract extension to Larry Sanders, those are the teams that really deserve the #1 overall pick. Few teams who have a serious shot at the #1 overall pick "deserve" that pick. They have all probably made a few bad moves to get them where they are.

The Cavaliers didn't deserve it.

The Lakers didn't deserve the #1 overall pick simply because they had one bad season. If the #1 overall pick went to the team that "deserved" it because they ran their team well it would (a) ruin the point of the NBA draft lottery or (b) go to the Spurs/Thunder/Pacers/Heat/Grizzlies. I don't know about Bill but I'm not sure I'd like to see Joel Embiid added to the roster of the Heat or Spurs. I know it would be fun to see Andrew Wiggins and Kevin Durant play together, but that sort of ruins the point of the NBA draft lottery.

There should be a rule against giving another No. 1 overall pick to a team that spent last year's No. 1 overall pick on somebody who averaged two baskets per game. Does even Anthony Bennett remember Anthony Bennett?

Bennett had injuries last year and he was coming off one year of college. I think it's a bit early to give up on him.

The Lakers deserved better. They at least deserved to pick where they had finished. 

The Lakers don't deserve anything. In fact, if we are going to start talking about what teams "deserve" then the Celtics and Lakers don't even deserve a top-10 draft pick. The Celtics traded away their best players in an effort not to tank necessarily, but knew it would result in them just not being very good, while the Lakers had one bad season because they built the team around a 35-year old shooting guard coming off a major foot injury (and gave him a $48.5 million extension) and a 39-year old point guard who has had bad back issues (though he was injured this year due to leg issues) for going on almost a decade now. If there is karma in the world, then the Lakers would have gotten pushed back out of the lottery, as would the Celtics. So don't tell me what the Lakers "deserve" after struggling for one season.

They should have been rewarded for their injuries, their incompetence, their dysfunction, and the fact that they somehow talked Mike D'Antoni into leaving town.

I don't know if this is sarcasm or not. It's hard to tell. But no, the Lakers should not have been rewarded for all of these things.

Heck, if the league was smart, it would have helped the Lakers move into the top three. Considering a new rumored NBA scheme surfaces about every month, why couldn't one have popped up now?

Again, I don't know if this is sarcasm or not. This does seem like the type of inane crap that Bill Plaschke would write in an effort to make it seem like the Lakers are more important than other NBA teams or the NBA needs the Lakers to be successful in order to thrive.

Couldn't they have drugged up a couple of pingpong balls? Maybe shuffled a few cards on the way to the podium? 

Maybe the NBA did drug up a couple of ping-pong balls or shuffle the cards to give the #1 overall pick to the Cleveland Cavaliers. I guess Bill didn't think about that, because why else would a team other than the Lakers be favored by the NBA?

The league was happy to block a trade that kept Chris Paul from the Lakers — couldn't it have finally paid for David Stern's misstep and evened things up?

While I agree David Stern was an asshole, and well, his typical self by blocking this trade, the NBA doesn't have to "even things up" by giving the Lakers the #1 overall pick or a top-3 pick. That's not how it works. If the whining is this bad after one year where the Lakers don't make the playoffs, I can't imagine how bad it would be if the Lakers didn't make the playoffs for 2-3 years in a row.

The NBA needs the Lakers now like it needed the Knicks back then.

No, it doesn't. The NBA needs to let the lottery play out however the ping-pong balls fly and not worry about whether a franchise like the Knicks, Lakers or Celtics are successful in a given season or not. The Lakers are not the center of the universe and they weren't wronged because they got the #7 pick and not the #6 pick. I know the Lakers "earned" the #6 pick by being terrible this season and Bill believes they should rightfully be given this pick, but sometimes the ping-pong balls don't fall a team's way. I know it's rare that something doesn't fall the Lakers way, but it does happen. Somehow I think the team will survive and still excel in the near future.

The NBA needs the Lakers' glamour and drama. The NBA needs Kobe Bryant, in his final run, to be relevant again.

Bill needs to write paragraphs that are longer than two sentences.

Saddled with the turmoils of dueling owners and an aging superstar, the Lakers desperately need a reason to believe in themselves next season.

Oh no! After failing to make the playoffs for the fifth time since the 1957-1958 season (think about that) the Lakers don't believe in themselves anymore! What a tragedy of epic proportions! Why wouldn't the NBA give the Lakers a reason to believe when they are so down on their luck of late? Sadder events have never transpired before.

One of the first three draft picks would have made that happen. The seventh pick does not.

This is pure bullshit. Kobe Bryant was drafted 13th overall, Nash was drafted 15th overall, and there are other instances of teams finding great players outside of the first three draft picks. It's not the NBA's job to make the Lakers believe in themselves, but if the Lakers do a good job of scouting they can possibly find a great player with the #7 pick.

Joel Embiid, Jabari Parker, Andrew Wiggins, and Dante Exum are guys who could have immediately made the sort of impact that would make the Lakers fun again. 

I would guess Bill Plaschke knows very little about these players, but Exum and Embiid may not make the immediate impact that Plaschke is wanting to see. Players that will be available potentially at the #7 spot like Marcus Smart, Gary Harris, Noah Vonleh, or Julius Randle could have an immediate impact on the Lakers team equal to what Embiid or Exum could provide. In terms of long-term impact Plaschke has a point, but he's talking in the short-term.

None of them is expected to be around at No. 7, which is a location currently occupied on draft boards by guys like Julius Randle, Aaron Gordon and Marcus Smart, none of whom will immediately make a well-coiffed courtside head spin.

Clearly Bill Plaschke has never seen Aaron Gordon play. In fact, I would say of all the players in this NBA Draft Aaron Gordon is the most likely to make a person's head spin with his athleticism and some of the dunks he can pull off. I guess I have to remember Bill is coming from a place of ignorance and is simply mindlessly bitching because the Lakers didn't get their way.

Heck, the Lakers could have even traded one of the top three picks to Minnesota for Kevin Love, assuming the Timberwolves realize they need to get something for him now before he walks next summer. 

Oh, so Bill doesn't really want to draft a player who makes an immediate impact, but he wants the Lakers to shortcut the rebuilding effort and use other NBA teams as their farm system as they have done in the past? It's not about drafting and developing good players, but about using draft picks to trade for players who have already developed into good NBA players.

But there's no way anybody like Kevin Love is traded for something like a seventh pick.

Well, not in the position the Lakers are in. If the Lakers had any type of assets on their roster they could package with the #7 pick then a deal could possibly get done, but the reason the Lakers don't have assets to trade on their roster is the same reason they struggled this year and the same reason they don't "deserve" a top-3 draft pick. They are in win-now mode and sometimes that can backfire when injuries occur. A team that went for it all by paying 2-3 players large salaries doesn't necessarily "deserve" a top-3 draft pick because the plan didn't work for one season.

If they were convinced they could acquire a cornerstone player, they would have probably searched for a young and potentially cornerstone coach who could grow with the new star.

See what you have done, NBA! Now you have messed up the Lakers coaching search by not rigging the lottery in the Lakers favor. They were totally going to search for a young head coach rather than a head coach with previous coaching experience, you know, like they have never really done over the last 20 years.

But now, one wonders if they won't just grab a calm veteran like George Karl to steer them through the final years of Bryant before pushing reset again to accommodate whoever will lead them into the next era.

That would be terrible if the Lakers had to hire a coach with a 59.9% career winning percentage. However would the Lakers recover from making such a disastrous hire? Where's Mike Brown when you need him?

Granted, the Lakers had only a 6.3% chance of winning the lottery, and a 31% chance of dropping into the seventh spot, so Tuesday's fall — precipitated by Cleveland's leap — wasn't that unexpected.

But the fall was totally unfair and just proof the NBA rigs the lottery in favor of teams like the Cavaliers when they should be rigging the lottery in favor of unloved NBA teams like the Celtics or Lakers.

But, still, one could dream, and the Lakers sent their last No. 1 overall pick, Worthy, to New York with bobbleheads of past Lakers greats — Buss and Chick— in pursuit of that dream.

It was over 30 years ago that the Lakers had the #1 overall pick. Granted, this has more to do with the Lakers winning eight NBA Titles and missed the playoffs only three times since 1982, but it was a dream of Bill Plaschke's that the Lakers could struggle for one year and then be granted a top-3 pick to immediately revitalize the team. Alas, life is just not fair and the Lakers only have the #7 pick.

Big Game James was big-time crushed, beginning with the pre-lottery interviews, when ESPN's Heather Cox pointedly asked Worthy — and only Worthy — how it felt to watch his team stink all season.

"It was difficult … we had a plethora of injuries … we could never catch up," said Worthy.

What a struggle! I'm sure the plethora of injuries caused Worthy to cry into his over-sized goggles and wonder why life just couldn't be more fair and those teams that deserve a top-3 pick aren't granted one?

They finished sixth. They will pick seventh. The chase continues.

The 2014-2015 season is obviously over before it even began. Sadness accrues. Bill Plaschke may not be able to carry on, though I'm sure he'll have plenty of energy to write 15-20 columns during the next NBA season bashing the Lakers. 

6 comments Phil Mushnick Just Seems to Hate Humanity as a Whole

When I went to write this post I didn't remember that I already had a tag for Phil Mushnick. I didn't remember ever covering anything he had written before, so I searched the archives and I had written one post covering a Mushnick article where he did his best to take a crap on Florida Gulf Coast's run to the Sweet 16. The team was too "look at me" for Phil Mushnick, which is somewhat interesting coming from a guy whose writing schtick basically consists of him saying, "Look at me! I write like a grumpy old man! Matt Kemp's injury was karma and Adrian Peterson may have a dead son, but that doesn't stop me from questioning whether he is a good person or not."

So those are the two articles from Phil. He thinks it is karma that Matt Kemp got injured and is eager upon finding out Adrian Peterson's son died to point out that Adrian Peterson isn't necessarily a good person. Speaking of not being a good person...here's two Phil Mushnick columns. I'll start with Mushnick's thoughts on Matt Kemp and karma.

Two years ago, the Dodgers’ Matt Kemp was runner-up to drug-cheat Ryan Braun for the NL MVP. Kemp, however, is out of these playoffs with a bad ankle.

It's karma for Braun being a cheater! Wait, that doesn't make sense.

At least that’s the cover story — the one TV and radio provide. Two-plus-two. But for those who prefer a bit more, Kemp injured his ankle — then missed 52 games and now the playoffs — because he chose to play new-age baseball, which means stylish, minimalist, and presumptive bad baseball.

If you don't play old-school, good baseball that Phil Mushnick likes then you deserve to die...or at the very least deserve to get injured to where you can't play baseball at all. It's only fair that Kemp suffers a severe bodily injury as punishment for not playing baseball "the right way." I'm sure this is how Adolf Hitler would feel as well were he still alive and decided to become a sportswriter instead of a dictator. You don't do things his way, well the outcome was under your control and now you choose to get hurt as a punishment.

On July 21 against the Nationals, Kemp was on third, two out, bases loaded. Carl Crawford hit a chopper toward first baseman Chad Tracy.

Having two first names as your first and last name is so completely old-school baseball. 

Kemp, who should have been running on contact, presumed the force throw would be made elsewhere.

Matt Kemp didn't hustle which means he deserves to be injured. So what was the result? The Baseball Gods punished Matt Kemp with an injury to the same ankle attached to the leg that didn't hustle down the line to beat the throw.

So he jogged.

How stylish, minimalist and new-age of him to jog to home plate. New-age baseball players love being lazy. This is something that is real and isn't completely made up by Phil Mushnick just now, on-the-spot to prove a point.

But Tracy had no play at any base, except home — because Kemp chose not to run. Too late, Kemp turned it on, but was forced out at home.

Kemp definitely should have been running in this instance, but I have no idea how Kemp's inability to hustle on this play means he was playing new-age baseball. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what new-age baseball is.

He injured his ankle in an awkward half-slide that wouldn’t have been necessary had he run, as per Baseball Fundamentals 101, in the first place.

Again, Matt Kemp should have hustled, but it's just so incredibly ridiculous to say Matt Kemp got injured or deserved to get injured because he didn't hustle on this play. It's actually sort of disturbing that Phil Mushnick has this line of thought. I'm not sure how physical injury is the appropriate punishment for not hustling or not following "Baseball Fundamentals 101."

That’s why Kemp, 2011 MVP runner-up, will not play this postseason.

Because he got injured, which was completely deserved obviously. I get the feeling Phil Mushnick is the type of person who actually gets excited and happy when a player gets hurt. He's the guy cheering when Matt Schaub gets injured, because Schaub wasn't playing very well and getting hurt is the best possible punishment for this transgression of not playing old-school football.

Two plus two equals four? Sometimes. It’s not for everyone.

This references the opening paragraph of this column which read:

Two plus two has become a matter of “Depends on how ya look at it,” “What’s it to you?” and even “Don’t go there.”

Me being a new-age, minimalist this just seems like a bunch of bullshit gibberish to me written by a bitter, old-school writer. If I were Phil Mushnick I would say his punishment for such terrible writing would be to get hit by a taxi.

Now Phil takes great pains to tell us that having a dead son doesn't mean Adrian Peterson is a good person. Because when an athlete's son dies, it's usually that exact moment when it is appropriate to remind us that athlete isn't a good person...sort of like Peterson doesn't deserve our sympathy because he's not Mother Teresa. God, Phil Mushnick is the worst.

We in the media — especially those working event broadcasts — have a horrible habit of blindly or wishfully reporting great achievers are additionally blessed: They’re great humans.

I know! I hate it when broadcasters accentuate the positive and don't constantly harp on the negative. That's why Phil Mushnick is here though, to constantly focus on the negative and put dead babies in perspective by reminding us the baby's father wasn't perfect.

Among many others, we did it with Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong.

The problem is the media made Tiger and Lance Armstrong look good BEFORE their dastardly deeds were publicly known and later turned on them once these deeds were found out, while talking positively about Adrian Peterson when his son has died is a completely and totally different thing. That is unless Phil Mushnick thinks having a child out of wedlock (when not being married yourself) is the same thing as cheating on your wife multiple times with multiple women and using PED's to win multiple Tour de France titles while ruining the reputation of anyone who dared to out you as a cheater. I'm guessing Phil Mushnick thinks it's all the same.

Last year, we began to do it with Adrian Peterson, before, and then after, he was selected the NFL’s MVP. With every big game — 2,037 running yards worth — the media bloated his profile: There runs Superman, a super guy, too.

Again, is a couple of days after his son dies the best time to point out Adrian Peterson isn't perfect and to point out the adulation the media gives athletes? Phil Mushnick must be a blast to share Thanksgiving dinner with.

"Now that we are all gathered here at the table, let's talk some more about how Carol has forgiven Bob for cheating on her with his secretary."

“We talked with him after practice, and let me tell you this and that about Adrian Peterson.” “Adrian Peterson still finds time to do charity work in the Twin Cities area.” Blah, blah and blah. Good equals goodness.

This has nothing to do with Adrian Peterson or his son dying. But don't worry, Phil ties in Peterson's lack of goodness to his son's death soon enough.

In 2009, he was busted for driving 109 mph in a 55 mph zone. He dismissed that as no big deal, which was doubly disturbing — his older, full brother was killed by a reckless driver.

Notice how Mushnick writes "older, full brother" so he can inform us that Peterson had a half-brother, which means the lineage of divorce or children out of wedlock was passed down to Peterson from his parents.

Last summer, Peterson was in a club when he and friends were informed that it was closing time, past 2 a.m. Apparently, Peterson and pals felt they would decide when it was time to close. The police report noted three cops were needed to subdue Peterson.

It's a good thing Phil doesn't believe Peterson plays new-age, minimalist football or else he would say that Peterson deserved to have his son die for not hustling enough during football games.

Of course, we all have to operate from are our own set of values, our personal sense of right from wrong. Perhaps, given current standards among NFL players — mostly college men, no less — Peterson qualifies as a man of good character.

Just like compared to other sportswriters, Phil Mushnick's writing is shittier and more bitter.

And it’s sickening the NFL’s latest MVP, hours after his son died — allegedly murdered — declared he was “ready to roll,” ready to play football.

"Allegedly murdered." No, maybe Adrian Peterson's son is walking around South Dakota somewhere and this is all a joke.

Jokes aside, I'd be interested to hear how it was an accident that Peterson's son was killed. Unless the alleged assailant is going to state he was just "standing his ground" against a two year old, I can't see how this won't be murder. Maybe it is possible to accidentally beat-up a two year old while playing.

Different players respond to trauma in different ways. If Phil Mushnick doesn't know that, then fuck him. Brett Favre played a Monday Night Football game (purely for the attention of it if you ask me) after his father died and I'm pretty sure no one wrote it was sickening that Favre dared to be on the football field at that point. Yes, a dead child is different from a dead parent, but not so different for Favre to be heroic when he played and it be sickening for Peterson to play.

Me? I’d be fighting for breath, my knees weak with grief, demanding to know why, who, how.

Then Phil Mushnick would think about all of the things he did during that past week and determine if he did something wrong that made his son die, then upon realizing he is perfect, immediately blame the child's mother for living a new-age, minimalist lifestyle that killed their son.

Then, I suspect, I’d seethe with rage, swearing retribution. I even think I’d take off a day or two from work. Maybe a week.

People deal with trauma and grief in different ways. Brett Favre played football when his dad died, Adrian Peterson played football after his son died, while the same reaction can't be expected from every professional athlete. But because Adrian Peterson's reaction wasn't the same reaction that Phil Mushnick would have, this clearly makes Peterson a bad person.

The suspect in the beating murder of Peterson’s 2-year-old is the boyfriend of Peterson’s “baby mama” — now the casual, flippant, detestable and common buzz-phrase for absentee, wham-bam fatherhood.

"Baby mama" is the detestable, flippant, buzz-phrase for an absentee father that Phil Mushnick just used. He could have used any other term he wanted to describe Peterson's relationship to the child's mother, but Phil chose to use "baby mama," which is a term he finds detestable and flippant, yet he insists on using it anyway. No one has made Mushnick use this term, yet he chooses to use it anyway, despite claiming he detests the word.

With his resources, how could Peterson, the NFL’s MVP, have allowed his son to remain in such an environment? Did he not know, or not care? Or not care to know? Or not know to care?

Well first off, before I check in with real life "reality" and do the fact-finding that Phil Mushnick didn't care to do, it's important for Mushnick to know the courts greatly favor the mother when it comes to custody in situations like this. Not being married to the child's mother, Peterson would have had to prove the environment was so toxic to the child's well-being that he be given full custody of the child in order to look out for the child's welfare in a way the mother could not. Considering (a) the relationship between Peterson and the child and the relationship between the child's mother and the alleged assailant was new and (b) usually a bad boyfriend who doesn't live with the child isn't grounds for a judge to find the environment toxic enough to remove the child from the mother's custody and give that child to Peterson, it's hard to fault Peterson for not taking action in this case. It could have been many months before Peterson could have sued for full custody and this been granted, so if the relationship between the baby's mother and the accused was new, it wouldn't have mattered if Peterson "allowed" his son to remain in the environment. There's nothing that could have been done.

Apparently Phil Mushnick is under the impression Adrian Peterson can just go kidnap his son and bring him back to live with him by unilaterally determining the child is growing up in an unsafe environment. This would make him a good person? The legal reality is that it isn't easy to just take away a child from that child's mother, but Phil Mushnick doesn't deal with reality when he is busy doling out blame.

So back to the real-life reality for a minute. Adrian Peterson had just found out the child was his, so he didn't have time to kidnap the child or start court proceedings.

Peterson couldn’t have provided his son a better life, a longer life?

What a moron. Peterson was helping the child out financially, but it's NOT UP TO HIM as to who gets custody of the child. A person can't just walk before a judge and say, "I make a shit-ton of money, so I deserve custody of the child," while the judge just sits there drooling while nodding in agreement. If Adrian Peterson can provide his son a better, longer life then the court will say, "Sounds good, here's your child support payment for that better life you want your child to lead and any visitation agreement is between you and his mother. Have a good day."

Money can’t buy love, but having signed a $96 million deal, he could not have provided his child — 

I like how Phil is trying to blame Peterson for his son's death. That's perfect. Phil Mushnick's complete idiocy when it comes to the court system is hilarious. Courts nearly always side with the mother in terms of permanent custody. If Peterson wanted joint custody, that's fine, but no court is taking the child away from his mother unless it is given an excellent reason to do so. I'm not entirely sure the mother having a boyfriend with a criminal record is justification in this case. That would be for a court to decide, which takes time, and time isn't what Peterson had to get this done before his son was killed.

apparently his second from a “baby mama” — 

For someone who hates that word, Phil Mushnick sure loves using it doesn't he?

a safe home?

Absolutely, that's why Peterson would have paid child support, to financially support the child and provide the financial security he could provide if he and the mother were together. If Peterson wants joint custody, that's perfect too, but a court isn't going to just hand the child to Peterson because he's wealthier than the mother of the child.

But given Peterson’s father did hard time for drug money laundering maybe we’re both stuck with the values in which we were born, raised.

What an asshole. I would love to have Mushnick explain exactly what he thinks Adrian Peterson should have done. He just found out he had this child and it's suddenly his fault for the mother of the child choosing to be in relationship with a person who ended up (allegedly) beating the child to death. Of course, it's Peterson's fault for trusting the child's mother to make good decisions. Peterson should have magically gotten full custody of a child he knew existed for two months using his money as a reason he gets custody. Money is a reason to pay child support, not get custody of a child.

On Friday, Peterson said he was “focused” on football. On Sunday, he played. But it’s not as if murder doesn’t now regularly afflict the NFL.

Yes, murder happens all the time in the NFL. It's pretty much a daily thing.

Maybe Peterson’s son is just one more stands-to-reason murder victim, just another child born to just another “baby mama,”

This is Mushnick's third time using this term he claims to detest. And no, Peterson's son isn't just another child born out of wedlock. His son is a child who got caught in a bad situation and paid for it with his life. There's very little that Peterson could have done to police from Minnesota who the child's mother is in a relationship with, because that's just not how it works from a legal and reality standpoint.

one more kid who never had a shot, anyway. Maybe, by now, even if we can’t accept it, we can expect it.

Yeah, good job killing your son, Adrian Peterson. Phil Mushnick thinks his blood is on your hands because you aren't a good person and won't kidnap a child you learned existed two months ago. I bet Mushnick thinks this is Peterson's punishment for having a child out of wedlock.