Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

3 comments MMQB Review: Peyton Manning Breaking Records, Taking Pictures, Getting Asked Leading Questions by Peter Edition

Peter King marveled at the greatness of Aaron Rodgers in last week's MMQB, as well as complimented the Starbucks corporation for making great coffee. Peter discussed the Cowboys and how Jerry Jones thought he had put a good team together, but not good enough of a team that he didn't want to draft Johnny Manziel of course. This week Peter talks about Peyton Manning breaking the NFL touchdown pass record, discusses the Percy Harvin trade and how the Seahawks suck now (but doesn't brag about the Rams as much as I thought he might), why Drew Bledsoe leads the league in cuteness (but is still second to Russell Wilson in precociousness), and puts Drew Brees as his "Goat of the Week," for struggling on two drives when the blame could also be put on the Saints defense for giving up 14 points to the Lions in the fourth quarter. That's not how Peter works though. He mentions how the Carolina offense didn't do much in the first quarter against Green Bay, while failing to mention the Panthers were down 21-0 after the first quarter with zero turnovers committed. He's gotta put the blame where it really goes, which is always on a team's quarterback unless he wants the blame to go somewhere else.

In the Denver locker room Sunday night after his 246th NFL regular-season game, Peyton Manning asked, “Where’s Demaryius?”
 
Wide receiver Demaryius Thomas, someone said, was on his way out to the field to do an interview with NBC.
 
“We gotta get him back,” Manning said. “Get him back in here for a second.”

Thomas is doing an interview? Only Peyton Manning is allowed to be in front of a camera at all times! Peyton swears to God, if Demaryius starts doing commercials then he's not going to be re-signed after this season. He can go play with Eric Decker in New York. Why is Demaryius so vain that he has to constantly be on television, in commercials and doing interviews?

Someone went to intercept Thomas, and while he was being summoned, Manning found a blank piece of white paper in a notebook, wrote “509” on it with a black Sharpie and ripped the page out. He had a plan to commemorate setting the all-time touchdown-pass record with the 509th of his career, thrown in the second quarter to Thomas; Manning usually does have a plan. 

Now Thomas was back, and Manning posed with the ball, the piece of paper and the pass-catcher for the record-breaking touchdown pass. You know, like the old days. When Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in an NBA game in 1962, he wrote “100” on a piece of white paper and held it up for the cameras.

See, that's a common misconception. Wilt Chamberlain was actually holding up the number of women that he had slept with in the past week, not how many points he scored in the game where he scored 100 points.

We’ll have time for the rest of the news of Week 7—the Detroit Lions winning with defense, Seattle continuing its puzzling slide,

When you run into the buzz saw that is a Jeff Fisher-led team then an embarrassing loss should be expected.

but we open in the car with Peyton Manning, as he drove home after one of the great nights of his football life … and that is saying something.

That is saying something. It's bittersweet for Peter. He likes Peyton Manning a lot, like more than one human should like another human, but he loves Brett Favre a lot more. It's like watching one child beat another child in a tennis match. Peter now knows how Richard Williams feels watching his daughters battle it out in the finals of Wimbledon.

There is no logic for what we’re seeing now: Peyton Manning, 38, veteran of four neck surgeries just three years ago, breaking a hallowed NFL record for career touchdown passes, and doing it at the top of his game. How is that possible? I don’t know—it just is. We’re seeing it. Manning is playing better in Denver at 36, 37 and 38 than he did when he was supposed to be in his prime.

I know, it's crazy. Remember back in the late 90's and early 2000's when baseball players were doing absurd things and older baseball players seemed to only get better as they got older? Man, that was crazy! It's almost like those baseball players defied the odds and all sense of reason as to why they were getting better as they got older.

Peyton Manning obviously isn't using some sort of PED to become a better football player, but I like the dichotomy of a baseball player who gets better as he gets older probably being accused of using PED's, but it's just accepted that Manning is getting better as he gets older. I know Manning isn't using PED's, but the point is if you switch what Peter is saying about Manning and pretend he is saying it about a baseball player during the Steroid Era, it sounds familiar and omnious.

Then Peter compares Manning's numbers with the Colts and Broncos, which show that Manning is better with the Broncos in terms of the numbers he puts up per game.

It is obviously a much smaller sample, but the numbers are stark. He has a deeper roster of wideouts to work with (four first-rate ones in Denver versus two in Indianapolis) and, though he loved and trusted Dallas Clark, there’s no question a superstar tight end is growing in Denver in Julius Thomas. One thing Indy had over Denver, though—running back Edgerrin James. He was better than the cast Manning has had to work with on the Broncos.

Let's also admit the rule changes that have further protected the quarterback from injury and changes to the rules that have opened up the NFL to becoming more of a passing league. Defenders are barely allowed to fight for a pass or pass interference is called now and that wasn't true for the majority of the time Manning played with the Colts.

“I can’t … I don’t know, really,’’ he said. “But I will say, possibly, that when I started back after my neck surgeries, I started back with the basics. The absolute fundamentals. I worked with [Duke coach and former Manning college coach] David Cutcliffe, and we went back to ground zero with everything I did. So I think my fundamentals all got sharper, and that could be a reason why this is happening now. But I don’t know.”

Wow, you mean sort of like a baseball player who has a new swing and that's why he is hitting all of those home runs now? He broke down his swing in the offseason, made a few adjustments and now he is on pace to hit 40+ home runs when his previous career-high was 23.

It's a fun game! Manning isn't a cheater, he's a great quarterback, but there are so many fun parallels to what baseball players said during the Steroid Era when discussing Manning playing at a high level in his late 30's.

Did you see Colin Kaepernick, who was 10 when Manning was drafted, smile broadly when Manning passed Brett Favre for the record in the second quarter? And did you see Niners rookie pass-rusher Aaron Lynch, who was 5 when Manning was drafted, smile and tap Manning on the helmet with a way-to-go when he broke it?

No, I did not. I had seen enough blowouts for one day. There was no need to watch one team I don't care about blow out another team I don't care about.

Okay, I did see Manning break the record, but then turned the channel back to "The Walking Dead."

507: A three-yard pass to Emmanuel Sanders, running a shallow cross just past the goal line, midway through the first quarter. Sanders used umpire Mark Pellis for a screen; the Niners cover guy, Dontae Johnson, ran into Pellis, fell down, and there was Sanders, wide open. “I didn’t know about that till I was looking at the pictures of the play back on the bench,” Manning said. “That’s not what the design was. We weren’t using the ref for a screen.”

Of course not, Peyton. You would never intentionally use the umpire as a screen. Ever. It just so happened a play was called where Sanders ran a shallow cross right across the area where the umpire was standing and the umpire was kind enough to help out Manning in a situation where he didn't need help.

Not to make another baseball parallel, but imagine the outrage if an umpire got in the way of a fielder during a rundown on the basepaths or prevented the catcher from making a tag because he was in the field of play and the catcher had to go around the umpire to get the baseball? The outrage would be insane. In football, it's just accepted the officials get in the way sometimes.

Thomas and the boys played keepaway with the ball, which looked so cute on TV—

Oh my God, I know! It was SO cute! It was precocious, cute, infantile but in a good way, and just showed how much fun these Broncos like to have! It was a super-dreamy and fun way to celebrate Manning's victory.

“Well, sort of,” said Manning. “We were playing around on Saturday, and they were doing it to me then, and of course I am the stiff and I can’t keep up, but I didn’t think in the game they would actually do it.

But did they do it? DID THEY PETER?
 
They did it.

Then Peter was all like, "So CUTE!"

“You haven’t wanted to talk about the individual part of this,” I said. “But you’re at the top of the mountain now. You’re such a student of history, that’s got to mean something to you, to have more touchdown passes than anyone else who’s ever played pro football. Right?”

Great question, Peter. And by "great question" I mean "that's not even close to a question and more is like an example of a question asked by Chris Farley on 'The Chris Farley Show' which should probably ashame you a little bit."

"So Peyton, we have talked about your football record you just set, but we haven't talked about YOU (twirls his hair). So this has to mean something to you because you are one of the greatest quarterbacks ever and no one else can claim they have the record because you worked so hard for it and I know it meant just SO MUCH to you to break this record. I mean, you are better than anyone else in NFL history at throwing touchdowns and that means a lot and is an example of what a great quarterback you are and probably one of the best quarterbacks in the world (twirls hair again). I mean, right?"

“This is the kind of record I’m only going to have temporarily,” he said, but I got the feeling he was trying to be a bit self-deprecating here.

Not sure this is self-deprecating there, Peter. Peyton isn't undervaluing his abilities, just acknowledging the changes in the game of football that would lead to another quarterback soon breaking the record like he broke the record soon after Favre held it. Dictionary fail.

“I just hope whoever breaks it years from now has an appreciation for history, and for quarterbacks.”

He probably won't have an appreciation for history and quarterbacks. Most likely it will be some asshole who doesn't even like quarterbacks.

The Lions are not held hostage by Calvin Johnson anymore.

That’s not a slap at Johnson, obviously one of the best players in football. But over the years, quarterback Matthew Stafford has become so dependent on Johnson, and the rest of the team so sure that Johnson would bail the Lions out of trouble, that the crutch has hurt the development of the franchise.

It helps that the Lions have invested in wide receivers alongside Johnson, and I say negative things about Jim Caldwell, but he's pretty good at coordinating an offense.

This year Johnson has been out for two games, and he has barely played in two others, because of a sprained ankle. Detroit is 3-1 in those four games, for three reasons: Stafford has found other weapons to use, the defense is really good, and the new coach, Jim Caldwell, doesn’t stand for any excuses.

Well that, and again, the Lions have invested heavily in giving Stafford offensive weapons. But like the Cowboys are better because it's a new Tony Romo, I'm sure the offense of the Lions plays well without Johnson simply because Caldwell doesn't like excuses.

The Lions have had a good front seven for the last couple of years. But a leaky secondary has killed them—

I know that feeling.

The Lions finished last season on a 1-6 run that cost Jim Schwartz his coaching job. In all six of those losses Detroit gave up the tying or winning points after the start of the fourth quarter. That has turned around this year. Detroit has the stingiest defense in football through seven weeks, the only team allowing less than 300 yards per game. On Sunday, Quin told his defensive mates down the stretch: “We’re the No. 1 defense. Play like it.” And they did, limiting Drew Brees to a stunning 2-for-10 on the last two fruitless Saint drives.

I'm not trying to take anything away from the Lions, but the teams they have played so far are ranked 15th, 11th, 17th, 19th, 6th, 14th, and 22nd. It's not like they have played offensive juggernauts quite yet. They have played nearly every middle-of-the-pack offensive team, so I still question whether they are a good defense or not.

But there’s a lot of respect for Caldwell in the building, from the people executive offices to the guys who clean the floors. And last week he took the beat writers out for a three-hour dinner, and non-football topics were not only suggested but encouraged. A three-hour dinner, in the middle of a game week, with the media. Land sakes alive, coach! Stop being so human!

There you go. Jim Caldwell knows how to play the game. Get in good with the media and they won't write bad things about you. They'll remember that steak dinner you purchased them and maybe ease off you a little bit. Also, this whole "He took beat writers out for dinner" story takes on a whole new meaning if the Lions are 2-5 and not 5-2. When/If things go bad, people are going to say, "Why is Caldwell wasting time going to dinner when he should be fixing his team?" Winning fixes everything.

Three thoughts about the Percy Harvin deal.

Only three thoughts? 

And I won't get started again (okay, I will) about these stories of Harvin misbehaving and acting like an ass in Seattle. Where are these stories that NFL sportswriters were fond of relaying Friday night earlier in the year? These sportswriters sit on so much information, then proudly puff their chest out when the story breaks by saying, "This is what I heard six months ago happened." Good for you. Report on it at the time or you don't get credit for knowing this information.

2. The coaches are happy. First: Harvin should have produced better than he did. And who knows? Maybe he would have over time. But Seattle won last year with a strong running game and a regular NFL passing game out of multiple sets and with a quarterback in the pocket and on the move. With Harvin in the game, the Seahawks were getting too cute, playing too horizontally—because they viewed him as a Jet Sweep, bubble screen, get-the-ball-in-space-and-make-something-happen player, not a regular wide receiver. If you’ve got a Lamborghini, you don’t keep it in the garage; you drive it.

Great analogy, Peter. If you have a Lamborghini like Percy Harvin, you make sure it's not broken before driving it.

If you’re offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, you don’t want to produce a game plan every week thinking, “Well, I’ve got to make sure I don’t tick off Harvin this week, so I have to account for that when I’m making decisions.”

Sure, I agree. But if you are Darrell Bevell then you also realize your team is in the lower third of the NFL in offense and it makes sense to get the football to your best, most explosive players when given the chance. Why wouldn't part of the game plan be to get the ball to Percy Harvin? This wouldn't be the first time an offensive coordinator has ensured part of his game plan is to get the ball to his best player early in the game. It's part of the deal. Just because a team has a receiver who wants the ball early and wants to be a part of the game plan doesn't mean that player should be traded. The issue becomes when that player's need for the football overrides his utility to the team.

3. The Jets did the right thing; this is a good experiment for them. For the last nine games of the season New York owes Harvin $6.47 million. That’s the last bit of money in this contract the Jets are obligated to pay him. I doubt this wakes Harvin up, and if it doesn’t, the Jets can say goodbye on Dec. 29, the day after the season, and figure, Well, we gave it a shot.

(Bengoodfella can't hold himself back) Josh Freeman. What about Josh Freeman, Peter? He got paid $2 million and then the Vikings could get rid of him after the last day of the season. Couldn't the Vikings have just gotten rid of Freeman like they did and figure "Well, we gave it a shot"? So why the weekly descriptions of what a waste of human flesh Josh Freeman was for Minnesota?

I will never get over this. In terms of a sportswriter completely overreacting to a player's performance, Peter takes the cake with his weekly rages against Josh Freeman. Yet, here he is perfectly fine with the Jets paying Harvin three times what Freeman made and being all chill about the Jets just giving up a draft pick and not keeping Harvin around next year. But when the Vikings sign Freeman and didn't give up a pick, Peter wanted everyone to know what a jerk Freeman was for not performing at a high level for Minnesota.

As for the Seahawks, I think they’ll work their way out of their rut (2-3 since opening night), but only if they protect Wilson better, make some holes for Lynch and get invaluable linebacker Bobby Wagner back from injury soon. They probably would have won Sunday in St. Louis had they played even a D-plus game on special teams instead of an F-minus.

The Jeff Fisher Era everyone!

“We have to have everyone take a breath.”

But inside the locker room, before it was opened to the press, anger spilled out for outsiders to hear. “Do your job!’’ was one of the milder ventings. The Bears continue to get flashes of brilliance but stretches of careless, turnover-plagued play from quarterback Jay Cutler, who reminds me of a more cavalier Brett Favre with the ball.

Well, Cutler has quite a few more interceptions to catch up with Favre, but he also has quite a few more touchdowns to get to the total Favre accumulated as well. The good news is that Skip Bayless probably likes Cutler again, because Cutler is being careless with the football.

It looks as though the NFL could take two paths to a new personal conduct policy: one for players, and one for all other NFL employees, including owners.

It will be a pretty easy to understand new personal conduct policy. The owners can do whatever the fuck they want to do without any repercussions, while the players can not. It's fair and doesn't punish owners like Jerry Jones who settled a sexual assault case in mediation for accusations that would get an NFL player suspended or put on the super-special commissioner's list for players who did bad things and nobody has a clue whether to punish the player or not so he will just stay on this exempt list.

I am told there is likely to be one onerous part of the policy for NFL personnel—from owners to administrative assistants—that hasn’t existed before. The NFL could well adopt a policy similar to some police departments and other public-service sectors. If an employee is charged with a serious crime, such as happened in the case of Colts owner Jimmy Irsay, the league could put the employee or owner on paid administrative leave, pending the outcome of the case.

But what if the employee or owner "has a problem" and that's why he committed the serious crime? How will this new personnel policy treat the owners like they have a problem that needs help, while in the same situation treating players like assholes who just need to stop driving drunk?

The Fine Fifteen

Assorted NFL teams placed in orderly fashion as chosen through a random process of Peter King's opinion!

1. Dallas (6-1). Tony Romo is completing 69 percent, DeMarco Murray is on pace to rush for 2,087 yards, and the Cowboys can play defense. Life is darn good in Dallas.

It's almost like there is a correlation between all three of these things.

6. Green Bay (5-2). Really, three through eight here can be put in any order. You pick.

Or since you are the one who writes the column and insists on including a Fine Fifteen, how about you pick?

10. Baltimore (5-2). Won five of six, and scored 29 (Sunday), 38 and 48 in three of those game. Which is good when you’re giving up an average of 14 points in the same span. It’s fairly incredible that all of this is happening to a team that was supposed to be ripped asunder by the Ray Rice scandal.

I'm not even sure who said the Ravens would be ripped asunder by the Ray Rice scandal. It sounds like Peter is making this up in order to create a narrative to place alongside the Ravens playing well at the current time.

12. Seattle (3-3). I don’t know what this team is right now. I do know the Seahawks are 2-3 in the last five games, and allowing 25 points per game, and playing like that is going to get the Seahawks homebound in January. Which would be a mild upset.

Peter probably shouldn't overreact to this. The Seahawks lost to the #1 team in his Fine Fifteen and then played on the road against the Rams during a week with a lot of team turmoil. I can't wait until the Seahawks go 11-5 and Peter will ask if we remember when "everyone was counting the Seahawks out" after the Percy Harvin trade.

So has Peter found the answer yet as to whether Russell Wilson sweats or not? I feel like Wilson does sweat, but I want a definitive answer from Peter.

15. Cincinnati (3-2-1). And fading very, very fast.

And Andy Dalton STILL hasn't won a playoff game. Be sure to mention this.

Goat of the Week
 
Drew Brees, quarterback, New Orleans. Brees had the Saints up 23-10 late at Detroit. The Lions scored once to make it 23-17, and Brees went incompletion-incompletion-interception.

I don't think I would defend Brees too much here, but it's a bit much to call him the "Goat of the Week." Brees wasn't at-fault for the defense allowing the Saints to march 90 yards on six plays the possession prior to this interception. He was obviously at-fault for the interception he threw, but if the Saints defense has stepped up and held the Lions to a field goal instead of a touchdown, then the Saints still win the game.

On the ensuing series, Brees’ first four passes were incomplete, then he completed two for seven yards, and then he threw an incompletion on fourth down. It’s not often, if ever, that Brees, in the clutch over two series, would go 2 of 10 with a passer rating of 0.0, but he did here, and it cost New Orleans dearly.

It's just a bit much to call Brees a "Goat" when he went 28-45 with 342 yards. He did throw the interception, but there wasn't another NFL player who had a worse performance this past week?

“You’re playing against a coordinator out there.”
 
—San Francisco safety Eric Reid, after Peyton Manning shredded the Niners for four touchdowns, including the NFL record-breaking 509th career TD pass.

Adam Gase is offended at the idea he isn't the true offensive coordinator for the Broncos. Look at what a hot coaching candidate he is!

“Hopefully we got windows on that son of a b—-.”
 
—Arizona coach Bruce Arians, on the team buses the club will use in Oakland. Arians was reminded on Friday that the fans in Oakland, the site of the Cardinals’ game on Sunday, threw eggs at the Chargers’ team buses last Sunday.
Arians loves to say that “SOB” phrase.

Fascinating, Peter. Just fascinating. There's nothing sportswriters like more than a coach who curses and seems like a real character. They like it almost as much as they like free snacks in the pressbox.

Stats of the Week
 
These from the Percy Harvin file:

Real quick change of the subject...would Gregg Easterbrook consider this to be a mega-trade for Percy Harvin? I'm guessing he would and he will bring the Vikings-Seahawks trade that brought Harvin to Seattle as a reason mega-trades don't work in TMQ. I'm trying to steel myself for this.

For those eight games, the Seahawks paid Harvin $19.03 million, and they paid the Vikings first-, third- and seventh-round picks.

But that $2 million the Vikings gave Josh Freeman just to sit the bench.....man, Peter wakes up in the middle of the night and rages against Freeman for stealing money like he did. How dare Freeman help to get Peter's buddy Greg Schiano fired like that!

Chip Kelly Wisdom of the Week

(Yawns) Peter is still doing this? He is still pretending that Chip Kelly is a coach who has tons of interesting things to say that readers of MMQB can't wait to have Peter relay to them? A lot of what Kelly says sounds like dressed-up coachspeak to me.

Kelly, captured by NFL Films on the sidelines of the Giants-Eagles game eight days ago:
 
“We got a good group of guys, don’t we? Culture wins football games. Culture beats scheme every time.”
 
Eighteen words that tell the story of Chip Kelly the football coach right there.

Yes, it does Peter. Chip Kelly, who is known for his innovative offensive schemes, thinks that culture beats scheme every time. I'm betting there is a discussion of DeSean Jackson in here somewhere, but Peter will expect some other sportswriter to lead that discussion. He prefers to stand in awe at the words out of Chip Kelly's mouth rather than analyze what these words might mean in regard to a well-covered story from this past summer. It's Peter's job to fawn, not connect dots.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Or, as I call it, the story of how Peter King dropped hints to a complete stranger and used his celebrity to get tickets to a Royals playoff game.

The fellow next to me at the bar was rooting for the Royals, and I looked over and saw his boarding pass with “MCI”, the Kansas City airport abbreviation, and so we struck up a conversation. Lance Baughman was his name; a lawyer from Kansas City with Royals season tickets held by his firm

So then Peter thought, "How can I drop a hint that I want to attend a Royals game?"

He wanted to know what I did, and I told him, and said I was going to Kansas City to do a story there with the Chiefs. So we settled in, watched the game and talked.

"I'm Peter King. I'm a well-known sportswriter who writes a weekly column about the NFL and can get your name mentioned in the column to give you and your law firm free publicity if you will just find a way to score me Royals tickets."

I'm kidding, Peter didn't say that. He just hoped the hints he dropped would lead to free tickets to a Royals game.

I told him if I got done with my meetings with the Chiefs in time for the late-afternoon game the next day that I would try to StubHub a ticket late and go. We exchanged numbers and boarded the plane, going our separate ways.

There's the hint drop that Peter wants a Royals ticket, and then he exchanged numbers with the guy, since apparently Peter needs this guy's phone number to purchase a ticket on StubHub? Of course not! Peter wants a free ticket.

When we landed, Lance Baughman sent me a text. Seems his partner couldn’t make the game the next day, and would I be interested in attending the game with his partner’s grown son?

(Lance calls his partner) "Hey, I just met Peter King from THE MMQB at a bar. He wants to go to a Royals game. Can you give him your ticket for tomorrow?"

(Lance's partner) "Well, you know my son wanted to go that game with me pretty badly. It's an important game in the history of the franchise and I would love to experience it with my son who I love very much."

(Lance) "Free publicity. He'll mention my name in the column if we do this I bet. Well, I don't bet, Peter literally said, 'I sure would like to go to the game and would mention someone's name in MMQB if they gave me a ticket.' I think he was hinting at it pretty hard."

(Lance's partner) "Fine, give him the ticket, but be sure he mentions your name AND my name."

(Lance) "Have you ever read anything written by Peter King? He'll name-drop us. He loves free shit and the NFL and NFL teams use him as a patsy when they feel like they can."

(Lance's partner) "Get it done then. Just say I have an important meeting to attend."

Well, what a swell offer.

Golly gee! Peter thinks he is being self-deprecating right now.

I just had to be sure I could make it the next day, and when we texted the next morning, I was sure I could. So I met Adam Wright, son of Baughman’s law partner Roger Wright, and we spent a very pleasant afternoon watching the Royals win their first pennant in 29 years. How incredibly nice of Lance Baughman and Roger Wright.

Yes, very nice of them. Of all the people who could have been given this ticket, it's so nice of them to give it to a complete stranger and not one of the countless other individuals that live in the Kansas City area, are big Kansas City Royals fans and are people who Adam Wright might personally know better and would enjoy attending the game with. Weird how that works, isn't it?

Postscript: Every time on Wednesday afternoon that I stood up to stretch or look around between innings, I scanned the stands at Kauffman Stadium, and I couldn’t find an empty seat. This was not a crowd there to be seen or to go get food and beer over and over; this was a celebration of baseball, and the 40,468 in the house would be damned if they were going to miss a pitch. So good to see.

It's almost like the Royals have had a shitty team for a while and the crowd was anxious to see a winning team play. I'm sure Peter described the crowd as very Fenway-esque and mention Lorenzo Cain plays centerfield like Jacoby Ellsbury, while Salvador Perez reminds him of a younger Jason Varitek.


The ex-QB on Saturday night, presumably before the big event. That, Drew Bledsoe, leads the league in cuteness.

It leads the league in cuteness, but is in second place for precociousness. I'm not sure there is a sportswriter alive that uses the word "cute" or "precocious" as much as Peter King does. He absolutely adores taking grown men and describing their behavior in child-like terms.

The sad news for Bledsoe is that immediately after taking this picture he sprained his ankle on a rock, but Tom Brady stepped in and took Bledsoe's daughter on a much hotter date for the Father Daughter Dance. Bledsoe then took his other daughter on a Father Daughter date, but it wasn't really the same ever again.

Ten Things I Think I Think

Peter thinks he sure would like a World Series ticket. He guesses he'll just go on StubHub here in a minute and see if he can find a ticket, though he's not confident...if only someone had an extra one.

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 7:

b. Drew Brees, with 19 straight first-half completions against a rising-star defense in Detroit.

GOAT OF THE WEEK!

e. I love the referees being able to talk—through wireless communications—with the field officials on things like pass interference.

Golly, the NFL is so smart with their innovations and constant forward-thinking. By the way, has anyone gotten to the bottom of whether Roger Goodell lied or not when he said he had not seen the Ray Rice video? It slowly fades away...

q. Tre Mason. Not a lot to like about how the Rams are playing as we approach midseason, but the rookie has a burst and some power to him, as shown against Seattle.

Team...on...the...rise. See, no one should accuse Jeff "8-8" Fisher of not knowing what he's doing. The Rams drafted Isaiah Pead in the second round, then drafted Zac Stacy in the fifth round and pretended to want to play him, but Fisher really was sandbagging and wanted to have Tre Mason be the starter. It's just like how Fisher made idiots like me think he had built his team around Sam Bradford when that wasn't AT ALL his plan. He was really getting ready to build the team around the Rams' third-string quarterback, Austin Davis, and wanted to mask his plan by starting Sam Bradford and signing Shaun Hill to be Bradford's backup.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 7:

d. Jets tight end Jace Amaro’s steel girders for hands.

I'm pretty sure NFL players aren't allowed to play with steel girders for hands. That seems illegal in some fashion and would result in a fine.

g. Come on, Jets: I know you’re the house organ, but you’re telling me you can’t ask Percy Harvin even one pertinent question?

This is a strong take coming from Peter, a guy well-known for his "You are the greatest ever, right? So how does that feel?" line of questioning or if he wants to be more hard-hitting, he may ask a question like "You were kicked out of the league for murdering 10 people, tell me one thing people don't know about you."

m. Carolina, down 21-0, third-and-one at its 33 to try to get something, anything, going … and then Jonathan Stewart is stoned at the line of scrimmage. Rapidly becoming a lost season for the Panthers.

Yes, it is. By the way the Panthers are 1.5 games ahead in first place of the NFC South right now. So it's a lost season, but they are the team in the NFC South outrunning the bear right now. 

n. Oh, and Cam Newton’s first-quarter stats at Green Bay: 0-for-2. And Carolina’s yardage in the first quarter: five.

Here's another interesting statistic. Green Bay was up 21-0 after the first quarter and the Panthers offense had the ball for about five minutes. Not that the Panthers offense, led by Newton have an excuse, but it really would have helped an offense with four undrafted free agents on the offensive line to not have the Packers ahead by 20+ points after the first quarter. At least the Panthers defense should have pretended to do their jobs. But yeah, Cam was bad in the first quarter, lay the blame there. Seems fair.

3. I think the tremendous NFL Network interview with Brett Favre on Sunday took me back to so many of the conversations I had with Favre—

His gruff, yet tender voice. The way he plays with his beard while he talks in a cute little way. So precocious, like he's almost not aware he does it.

because the word “interview” with Favre is really misleading. You’d go into a talk with him thinking you’d want to ask him about X number of topics, and invariably you’d veer off into some tributary you never expected.

But then Peter would get the urge to veer off into another tributary no one expected them to veer into. But it wasn't right then and it wouldn't be right now. What would Deanna say? What would the kids do? Why would Uncle Pete do this to them?

He’d be tough to deal with today, in the atmosphere of tight schedules for superstars, where a 10-minute window with a big star is generous. So many times 15 minutes became 115 minutes, and he was fine with that. That’s what I saw between Favre and Steve Mariucci on Sunday. You can say, “Well, Mariucci coached him and they’re good friends.” True—but I’ve seen it with Favre and people he didn’t even know very well.

And we know Peter would NEVER just vouch for Favre because he likes him. Also, I would argue that Favre loves the spotlight, so any time he gets to talk to someone who can put him on television and remind everyone watching that he still exists, Favre will talk as long and much as he wants in an effort to keep that spotlight on him.

5. I think Percy Harvin needs to talk to Brandon Marshall about whatever it is that ails Harvin. And it is apparent something does. Marshall, until being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2011, was widely viewed as a very good football player who simply couldn’t control his emotions, and those emotions were ruining his football career and wreaking havoc with his ability to live a normal life.

Apparently Peter King thinks that Brandon Marshall is a psychologist now. Also, Harvin would have to admit that something ails him, or there would actually have to be something ailing him for Harvin, to speak with Marshall and it have any positive effect.

I don’t know what Harvin’s story is. 

It seems Peter King does know what Harvin's story is since he seems to believe Harvin has a personality disorder and needs to speak with Brandon Marshall in order to find out the best way to treat this disorder. Peter doesn't know what Harvin's story is, but he knows enough to suggest it could be a personality disorder.

But if he blows this chance with the Jets because he can’t control his emotions, his football gravy train might be over.

Harvin is fast and talented. As long as he doesn't commit a crime and get suspended by the NFL there will usually be teams willing to take him on as a challenge.

6. I think it’s pretty easy to talk about the futility of the Bucs and focus on the inability of the defense to stop anything in its wake; Tampa has allowed 56, 24, 37 and 48 points in the past four games. But that is masking an equal problem on the other side of the ball. The Bucs have a startling number of negative plays on offense. I missed this display of offensive futility last week in the column, but with the Bucs on the bye Sunday, I wanted to bring it to your attention today.

Because in last week's MMQB, it was more important for Peter to write all the other filler that's non-NFL related than it was to discuss the Buccaneers' offensive problems. Priorities.

9. I think if you want to know why so many details about Percy Harvin’s sordid time with Seattle never surfaced until the weekend trade to the Jets, I believe it has much to do with the culture of the locker room—and specifically the culture of Pete Carroll’s locker room.

It also has to do with sportswriters who were aware of these issues never reported on them. I know this because less than hour after the trade, there were NFL sportswriters being all "Yeah, Harvin was a pain and didn't get along with teammates" regarding the trade on Twitter. So maybe the details weren't immediately mentioned, but it was obvious there was some knowledge among those paid to cover the NFL and the Seahawks about Harvin not being the best of teammate.

For proof, see the Harvin-Golden Tate fight before the Super Bowl. It even extended to Tate once he left for Detroit in free-agency and was no longer beholden to honor the code of locker-room silence in Seattle. He never broke the code as a Lion. After the story was reported by the Seattle Times on Friday, it was confirmed in many spaces over the next 36 hours,

Yeah, it was confirmed, but there were tales of a fight that just simply never went explored. I know this because the story of a possible Harvin-Tate fight was reported shortly after he was traded. Apparently these reporters, who seemed to be familiar with the story, didn't feel the need to confirm the story prior to Harvin's trade when they had originally heard tell of such a fight. I guess it's not fun to report on a Harvin-Tate fight when one of the players is still on the Seahawks team.

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

e. The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!

f. They’re going crazy! They’re going crazy! Whoaaaaaa-oh!

I'm really glad Peter took the time to include these thoughts in MMQB. Very insightful.

i. Giants in seven. But I don’t feel particularly confident about it.

Considering I am betting Peter couldn't have named three players on either team prior to the playoffs starting, I can understand his lack of confidence.

j. If I were building a baseball team this offseason, and if I could spend relatively the same per year, combined, for Andrew Miller, Pat Neshek and Yovani Gallardo (or a starting pitcher in the $10-million-a-year range) as I could for, say, Jon Lester, I’d opt for the first option.

This is a moot point because Gallardo probably won't be a free agent, but Jon Lester is going to want around $22 million or so per season in his next contract. Gallardo was paid a little under $8 million this year and the way the free agent market is set up for starting pitchers he will probably want $13 million per year (which is what the Brewers team has an option for, so he won't even be a free agent). Edward Mujica got $9.5 million over two years, so Neshek will probably want about $5 million per year. The market for a lefty like Andrew Miller is probably about $7-$10 million per year, so that puts the total spent on these three players at $25 million at a minimum. So I would agree with Peter these three players may be preferable to Lester, but it doesn't matter really because these three players couldn't be signed for what Lester wants over one season.

q. Enjoyed the story by Richard Sandomir of the New York Times on plummeting baseball ratings despite the thrilling postseason. Amazing to think that, in 1982, 49.9 million people watched a World Series game between small-market teams St. Louis and Milwaukee … and, 32 years later, a Game Two playoff cliffhanger between Los Angeles and St. Louis was seen by 1.77 million people on MLB Network.

And in 1982, the highest-rated television shows got much higher ratings than the highest-rated television shows in 2014 receive. There is more programming to distract a viewer in 2014 and baseball hasn't become appointment television. Statistics showing the decline in viewership of baseball games is an old story, but isn't necessarily indicative of baseball dying. There's many, many more options for viewers of television in 2014 than there was in 1982.

The Adieu Haiku

Could Luck pass Manning?
He’s four hundred forty-five
behind. (All heads shake.)


Why does it have to be Andrew Luck? Aaron Rodgers has 206 career touchdown passes and he's only 30 years old. Eh, Andrew Luck will probably break Manning's record because it would be a convenient narrative that the guy who followed Manning in Indianapolis would pass him for career touchdown passes. "We" all love convenient narratives. 

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

6 comments MMQB Review: It's the Annual "It's So Crazy the NFL Isn't Predictable" MMQB Edition

Peter King struggled a bit again when trying to give us perspective on a baseball player's career in last week's MMQB. He talked about Johnny Manziel (or "Johnny Dawg Pound" as Peter stated it) and told us that Manziel is not loved by NFL scouts but he very well could go in the first round of the NFL Draft, whenever Manziel enters the NFL Draft. Peter also made it clear that the Seahawks have a big homefield advantage and it's too early to say anything definitively, but if the Seahawks win homefield advantage over the 49ers (since apparently they are the only two NFC teams who could have the best record in the NFC) then they may make it to the Super Bowl. This week Peter talks about Aldon Smith (since you know, there were no NFL games played this weekend this becomes the most important story of the past week), talks about how strange the NFL is because conventional wisdom isn't playing out this season, and tells us he thought the Browns were tanking. 

“You never pick up where you left off from one year to the next,’’ Bill Parcells used to say. (Maybe he still says it, for all I know.) Don’t the NFC playoff teams from last year know it. Those six teams are 6-12 this morning.

That is the 2013 season after 47 games.

For the first season ever, the NFL is unpredictable. I wonder if this will be a trend?

Every year Peter King writes at least one MMQB where he mentions what a wild and wacky NFL season it has been. At some point, the fact the NFL is wild and wacky makes it somewhat predictable, no?

I’ll take Startling Stats for $800, Alex.

I'll take Jokes from the Mid-90's for $1000, Alex.

San Francisco is supposed to define defense. The Niners have allowed 84 points through three weeks. New Orleans (last in team defense last year) and Indianapolis (26th last year), combined, have allowed 86 points.

It's not like the 49ers have played the Packers, Colts, or Seahawks or anything. It's not like all three of those teams made the playoffs last year. It's not like the Saints have played the Buccaneers, Falcons and Cardinals. It's not like two of those teams aren't very good. So great point.

Those guys making the commercials—how are they doing? Robert Griffin III is the 20th-rated passer in football, and, scrambling in the pocket Sunday, was caught from behind by a Detroit defensive lineman. Colin Kaepernick is 25th. Right behind Bay-mate Terrelle Pryor. And 12 slots below Alex Smith.

Quick, bury these guys for underachieving! It kills me how guys like Peter act like Robert Griffin and Colin Kaepernick have 30+ NFL starts under their belt and any struggles they may have is complete unexpected. The NFL adjusts and quarterbacks have to adjust as well. This happens to every young NFL quarterback.

Offensive rookie of the year? This morning, it’s Chicago guard Kyle Long. The human sack machine, Jay Cutler, has been sacked three times in three games.

Well, if Kyle Long is blocking for Jay Cutler at all five offensive line positions and is personally responsible for Cutler only being sacked three times in three games then he certainly should be Offensive Rookie of the Year. Peter has an obsession with the Long family. When Chris Long was drafted he was enamored with him and it seems Peter has quickly become enamored with Kyle Long. Also, what happened to Tavon Austin? Wasn't he the most undefendable wide receiver in the history of the NFL around mid-August?

Strange days indeed. On to the news of a particularly newsy Week 3.

Of course there were NFL games this past weekend too, but apparently these games didn't interest Peter enough to write about them since he only mentions the Week 3 games around the middle of Page 2 of MMQB and then gets around to the important business of briefly interviewing David Shaw.

Jim Harbaugh is a meteor in the coaching sky. A star.

This is how Peter starts off a discussion of Aldon Smith's DUI. Interesting way of starting the discussion. Peter would not dare criticize a well-liked NFL head coach for fear of that head coach being mad at him and deny Peter access to the team he may eventually want, so he has to tickle Harbaugh's ass with a feather before talking about Aldon Smith.

He and his team will recover from the events of the weekend; they’re  just too good, too talented. But the world will be watching this Aldon Smith rehab to see if Smith, and the 49ers, are seriously going to address a career-threatening problem, because there have to be legitimate questions about it after Smith played a full game Sunday.

Apparently he has a substance abuse problem and is taking an indefinite leave of absence to take care of this issue. It seems Smith has a career-threatening substance abuse problem. Of course it wasn't career-threatening enough for Smith to not play on Sunday, but he did take a leave of absence after the game. This isn't related to the performance-related leave of absence Aldon Smith took last year when Justin Smith was injured.

When the police arrived, he blew a .15 on the breathalyzer test, almost double the legal limit in California. Keep in mind, he was supposed to be at the team facility for meetings and practice within the hour, and he obviously would have been in no condition to be there.

I refuse to believe an NFL player would use alcohol or drugs prior to practicing with his team. This is unheard of and I refuse to believe this could ever happen.

Last season, a Niners special-teams player, Demarcus Dobbs, was arrested early on a Friday morning and charged with DUI and marijuana possession. The team left him home from a trip to play St. Louis that weekend, meaning Dobbs didn’t play. But Smith is not Demarcus Dobbs. Smith is one of the best defensive players in football, and different rules apply to great players than to marginal ones.

This is absolutely true, but I like how Peter just sort of accepts this as being a true fact and doesn't really have qualms with different players being treated differently. I wonder if he would be so accepting of this double standard if a different head coach applied this double standard to his players? After all, it was Peter who just this past summer criticized the Detroit Lions organization for not knowing about Titus Young's issues prior to drafting him. I guess the Lions deserve criticism for drafting Titus Young, but the application of a double standard when done by Jim Harbaugh is just a fact of NFL life that Peter accepts.

I reported last night on NBC’s Football Night in America that Smith would be entering an in-patient facility to deal with his problems—Smith has been arrested twice for DUI in the last 20 months, and he was stabbed at a house party in 2012, and sued from incidents at that party.

This is Aldon Smith's third year in the NFL. He has been arrested twice and stabbed once. Titus Young was arrested three times while in the NFL (though he did have trouble with teammates in college and in the NFL) and earlier this summer here is what Peter wrote about Young,

1. I think the logical question for the Ford family to ask its Lions personnel department this morning (if it hasn't already been asked six or eight times) is: How on God's green earth did you let Titus Young pass through our checking system and grade out high enough to be the 44th overall pick in 2011?
 
2. I think other teams have the same skeletons, and potential skeletons, in their closets. But to me, the Lions are different. They'd blown so many receiver picks over the years -- granted, in the Millen administration, not Martin Mayhew's -- and you can't go drafting scared. But Young missed much of his second season at Boise State for fighting a teammate. I liked the pick at the time, because he filled a major need to take pressure off Calvin Johnson. Young, if well-adjusted, would have been a great asset to Detroit. But I couldn't know what the Lions knew then; when you pick a player 44th overall, you've done significant work on him, and you should know of the problems that could surface later on. Character problems, maturity issues. Those are flaws we in the media can't know nearly as well as the teams. The Lions, I'm betting, knew what a risk Young might be.

I'm guessing the difference in Young and Smith (at least in Peter's mind) is the Lions should have known about Young's inability to stay out of trouble, while Smith's troubles are all new. Still, I would think if Peter is going to start criticizing NFL teams for drafting players that later get in trouble while playing in the NFL, shouldn't he be critical of the 49ers for drafting Aldon Smith? Either way it doesn't matter, but Peter plays favorites and he feels free to blame the Lions for not knowing what a risk Titus Young was, but since Aldon Smith got in no trouble prior to entering the NFL, that's the reason why Peter doesn't criticize the 49ers for even drafting him. Seems to me like Peter goes after low-hanging fruit and doesn't want to criticize the great Baalke and Harbaugh, at least it feels that way a little bit. 

And again, there’s no right answer here.” Maybe not—but unless this is a long, serious and intensive rehab process, the 49ers will look like users, and Smith will look like a pawn. We’ll be watching to see if Smith, and the 49ers, take this as seriously as they claimed they would Sunday night.

I would not have played Smith Sunday were it my decision. I wouldn’t have abandoned him and let him go off to get in more trouble than he already was in. He would have been with the team all weekend—at Saturday meetings, on the sideline Sunday—but there are some things that are just more important than playing in a football game. If it sends the wrong message to sit a guy and pay him $230,000, so be it. I just don’t think it’s right to let him play.

Peter bases his criticism of the 49ers on allowing Smith to play Sunday more than he bases any criticism on whether the 49ers personnel department should have known about Smith's troubles before drafting him. I'm guessing Peter bases his lack of criticism of the 49ers personnel department on two factors:

1. Smith appeared to be clean in college and not have substance abuse problems. Though, as Peter himself said when discussing Titus Young, the NFL teams drafting these players know what a risk the players are better than the media does.

2. The 49ers have a recent history of drafting well, so Peter gives them a pass for drafting a guy who has gotten into some legal trouble. It's Peter's own version of a double standard where he gives more leeway to personnel mistakes from teams who draft well.

One other thing: The next big issue on Roger Goodell’s agenda—and on DeMaurice Smith’s as well—has to be tougher penalties on DUIs. This isn’t a partisan issue. It’s potentially a life-and-death one, for the drivers and the innocents in their way.

Yeah, punish the players harder. That will fix the issue.

The Colts traded a first-round pick for Richardson, the third overall pick in the 2012 draft. On Sunday, the 250th overall pick in the 2007 draft, Ahmad Bradshaw, was Indy’s best back, rushing 19 times for 95 yards in a 27-7 upset win at San Francisco.

I still think the best place to find a franchise running back is in the first round of the draft, but I thought trading a first round pick for Richardson was a bit of an overpay. I don't see Richardson as a first round talent running back. He might be to the Colts though.

In 2011, the Heckert/Holmgren group traded the sixth pick in a very strong top of the first round (Von Miller, A.J. Green, Julio Jones, Aldon Smith, Patrick Peterson, J.J. Watt) to Atlanta for two first-rounders, a second-rounder and two fourths. What they got in return:

It wasn't a lot. I'll sum it up quickly.

Essentially, the bounty of picks the Browns received for the one the Falcons on Julio Jones resulted in one player likely to be an average to above-average starter: Phil Taylor, who plays about 60 percent of the defensive snaps. And it cost Cleveland the equivalent of Justin Houston to move up to get Taylor.

If this were Bill Simmons, he would then follow this up with an email from a pathetic Cleveland Browns fan bemoaning how bad the team is.

This is what happens when regimes value players differently. The new Browns don’t want the power back that Richardson is; these Browns want a shiftier, faster back.

Actually Rob Chudzinski doesn't want a running back. He wants to throw the football 50 times per game and never actually use the running back. As Carolina's offensive coordinator last year he had a shifty, faster back in DeAngelo Williams, a shifty power back in Jonathan Stewart and a power back in Mike Tolbert. Cam Newton led the team in rushing last year by the way. Chudzinski doesn't know what he wants in a running back because he doesn't plan on running the football.

“Continuity is invaluable,’’ Banner said Saturday. “But continuity for its own sake is not the ultimate solution. I don’t want a free pass. If in three or four years we aren’t positioned to win … I should have to deal with the consequences.’’ I’m not sitting here lobbying for Banner and Lombardi to stay if they blow these picks. But any smart football person would tell you a draft can’t be judged for two years at least, and three more prudently.

Fortunately, Mike Lombardi is a self-proclaimed genius, so the Browns should win back-to-back Super Bowls in no time.

Sunday’s game in San Francisco was a perfect illustration why GM Ryan Grigson made this deal. Offensive coordinator Pep Hamilton wants to be able to be a power running team. Not all the time, but when it suits his style. And watching the Colts grind out the win against what was supposed to be one of the best run defenses in football, you see why Richardson was important. The Colts entered the fourth quarter with a 13-7 lead. They ran the ball on 15 of 20 (non-penalized) snaps in the quarter. They held it for 10:51 of the 15-minute quarter. And they outscored the Niners 14-0 in the quarter. So what if it was more Ahmad Bradshaw than Richardson?

In one game this isn't a big deal, but if Ahmad Bradshaw is outplaying Trent Richardson over the entire season then "so what?" turns into the Colts trading a first round pick for a running back who is the second-best running back on the roster.

I don't hate the trade for Richardson or anything, but trading a first round pick for a running back just seems like something that will be considered ill-advised if the Colts don't end up with Richardson as their starting running back over the next three years.

Then Peter has three notes about the Week 3 NFL games and moves on to a quick interview with David Shaw.

A 34-second discussion with highly respected Stanford head coach David Shaw, about his NFL desires:

Me: “You tempted by the NFL?”

Shaw: “Nope.”

Liar.

Me: “No guarantees in the NFL. The grass isn’t always greener.”

Shaw: “When teams reached out to me last year, I said, ‘Okay, you tell me which NFL city is better than Palo Alto. And then explain that to my wife.’ ‘’

I'm sure your wife will have no problem finding somewhere nice to live once she is sitting on a nice, big pile of cash that an NFL team would offer Shaw to be their head coach. I always love the "wife excuse" used by head coaches on all coaching levels. As if a coach's wife is going to turn down her husband's salary being doubled simply because she likes living in a certain city.

Fine Fifteen

A list of randomly placed NFL teams from 1 to 15.

1. Denver (2-0). Just when you thought the season was setting up to be a nice little stroll to AFC home-field advantage, here are the 15 autumn days that will try John Fox’s soul: Nov. 17, Kansas City at home … Nov. 24, at New England … Dec. 1, at Kansas City.

It's very shocking to hear there the Broncos aren't just going to cruise to homefield advantage in the AFC. I thought for sure after two games the Broncos had homefield advantage locked up.

3. New Orleans (3-0). Saints started 0-3 last year. Allowed 40, 35 and 27 points. Saints 3-0 this year. Allowed 17, 14 and seven points. Rob Ryan for mayor.

It's the perfect Rob Ryan job. Lower expectations, become middle of the pack and then he is seen as a genius. Two years from now when the Saints are 20th in the NFL in total defense he won't be such a genius of course.

4. Chicago (3-0). Took the air out of Heinz Field in about 15 minutes. How about this: It’s Sept. 23, and the Bears have a two-game lead on the Packers in the NFC North.

How about this: It's September 23.

9. Baltimore (2-1). No Ray Rice with the explosive Texans coming to town, and the Ravens win by 21. That’s a big win for a team with a lot of new parts. And good contributions by newbies Daryl Smith and Tandon Doss (he’s sort of a newbie).

Oh, so the Ravens got a contribution from one of the players they acquired with the money they saved by trading Anquan Boldin and Tandon Doss got to play a larger part in the Ravens offense due to Anquan Boldin's absence? It's almost like the Ravens front office knows what they are doing.

12. Dallas (2-1). The Cowboys are the class of the NFC East by default—though they played well in embarrassing the Rams. DeMarco Murray needs to stay healthy, or the over-reliance on Tony Romo will hurt their chances of playing deep into January.

Oh, so you mean a team's starting running back is important to that team's playoff chances? What a shocking revelation! And here I thought if Marshawn Lynch got hurt it wouldn't affect the Seahawks at all.

15. (tie) Tennessee (2-1). Sunday was the first day I have watched the Jake Locker Titans and said: I can see this guy being a good quarterback for a long time.

Wait, what? Peter King hasn't watched the Titans play with Jake Locker as their quarterback? This has to be untrue. Locker started 11 games for the Titans last year and 3 games this year and this is the first time Peter has seen him play? This has to be sportswriting malpractice. There's no excuse to report on the NFL and have not seen one of the 32 quarterbacks in the NFL play when he has started 13 games already in the NFL. Peter didn't even DVR one game and watch Locker play? How is this even possible?

Offensive Players of the Week

Brian Hoyer, QB, Cleveland. Roll this one around in your head: The third-string quarterback for Cleveland won a road game over a 2012 playoff team and had a 30-of-54 performance in a stunning post-Trent-trade victory. (I understand the three interceptions are big minuses, but drive after drive Hoyer showed he belonged on this stage.) No way he can be yanked out of the starting job now.

Notice Hoyer threw 54 passes. Chudzinski had no issue with the Browns trading his best running back because he has no interest in Norv Turner calling running plays.

Ahmad Bradshaw, RB, Indianapolis. You saw the will of a very good running back in the fourth quarter at San Francisco. Bradshaw, who had to hear for three days before the game that the Colts finally got a franchise back to shore up a weak position, came out and bled the clock in the fourth quarter like Emmitt Smith. He ran it 11 times for 62 yards when everyone in the stadium knew the run was coming—and when coach Chuck Pagano had Trent Richardson next to him on the bench for much of the quarter. For the day, Bradshaw ran 19 times for 95 yards in a win no one saw coming.

I'm not even sure why they played the game since it was just assumed the Colts would lose to the 49ers. Why did the Colts even travel to play the game they just figured they were going to lose anyway?

“I believe the safest pick in the draft—beyond Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III—is Alabama running back Trent Richardson. He’s a blue-chip player and has all the skills to quickly establish himself as a top-five player at his position. Forget the nonsense about not taking backs early—everyone would love the chance to get this guy.”

—Mike Lombardi, current Cleveland GM and former NFL.com columnist and NFL Network analyst, writing on NFL.com on April 23, 2012, three days before Richardson was picked third overall in the draft by the Browns.

Yeah, but in fairness to Mike Lombardi, he didn't know he would be the GM of the Browns a year later so therefore he should be able to say anything he wants as a columnist and analyst without having to actually believe it or follow through on his words once he got a GM job.

I have scores—hundreds, probably—of quotes from my past that are blush-inducing, and very wrong, and which I wish I’d never written or said. But I can’t imagine one Lombardi would like to have back more from his days in the media than this one.

Oh, but Peter it is all a part of Mike Lombardi's master plan. After all, the Super Bowl trophy is named after him.

“How do you make your team better by trading your best player? … If I’m the coach and someone came in and did that, I’d say, ‘Okay, fire me, or I’m going to quit.’ Or we’re both going to go to the owner and talk about this, and then we’ll see who’s still standing.”

—Mike Holmgren, the former Cleveland club president who oversaw the trade up for, and drafting of, Trent Richardson before the Browns cleaned house after the 2012 season.

You make your team better by acquiring a 1st round pick in exchange for your team's best running back. Also, calling Richardson the Browns best player says a lot more about the Browns as a team than it does about Richardson as a player.

Then Peter talks about Peyton Manning trying to break a record held by Brett Favre. "It's just an obvious attempt to talk about Brett Favre in MMQB," is what I would write if I were a jaded individual.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Found myself in a new hotel, the Residence Inn Fenway, in room-starved Boston Tuesday night (big convention in town) after doing some business for The MMQB during the day in the western suburbs. So of course, staying in a hotel just across Brookline Avenue from Fenway Park, I wanted to attend the game. Before heading over, I had this only-in-Boston moment: On the sidewalk outside the hotel were two small groups: a family of five, with three young boys all in Red Sox gear and caps, ready to walk over to the game. And three men dressed in monks’ robes; two of the monks carried black backpacks with MIT logos. I loved the diversity of the Boston area when I lived there, with so many universities around.

While this specific situation is probably exclusive to, well this specific situation, I'm not sure this is an only-in-Boston moment and a similar scene of diversity can't be seen in other large cities around the United States. I know Peter wants to feel like Boston is special though.

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 3:

a. The blitz pickup by Jamaal Charles. Did you see how he demolished Eagles safety Earl Wolff?

I didn't see it because I've never seen Jamaal Charles play, but I hear he is impressive. My name is Peter King.

h. Chuck Pagano can coach.

He can, can't he? It's almost like he doesn't need a tragedy to occur in order to get his players motivated to play on Sunday.

j. Geno Smith’s intriguing. Makes too many errors, but he also makes two or three throws a game that make you say: This guy’s got a real chance to make it.

So Peter King has seen Geno Smith play or is he just hearing from other people that Geno Smith makes a few impressive throws every game? I ask simply because I still can't believe Peter has not seen Jake Locker play quarterback for the Titans and Locker has been in the NFL for going on three years now. At this point, I don't trust anything Peter says because I am wondering if he actually watches a certain team even once during a season.

m. Ezekiel Ansah caught RG3 from behind Sunday. I think that says a little more about Ansah right now. The guy’s got difference-making speed.

It sounded like earlier in the column Peter was saying the fact Griffin got caught from behind said something about him as a quarterback and Griffin's ability to run after coming back from knee surgery. From earlier in this MMQB:

Robert Griffin III is the 20th-rated passer in football, and, scrambling in the pocket Sunday, was caught from behind by a Detroit defensive lineman.

I think the part where Peter says Griffin getting caught from behind by a defensive end says more about the defensive end should have been included in his initial comment about Griffin getting caught from behind by a Detroit Lions defensive lineman. Not including this comment gives a different perspective on what Griffin getting caught from behind by a defensive end means. What do I know though, I'm not an editor.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 3:

a. Mike Vick reverting to the turnover-prone Mike Vick.

I think, and I only have evidence given by a decade of seeing Vick play in the NFL, that turnover-prone Mike Vick may be the real Mike Vick.

b. Aldon Smith and Von Miller, top-10 picks in 2011 and big, big stars. Miller is suspended for six weeks. Smith will be out indefinitely. Disconcerting is what it is. Smith and Miller could learn from a player picked No. 11 in that first round, beneath them both: J.J. Watt.

I think we could all learn something from J.J. Watt. He's probably going to be a Senator one day, right beside Robert Griffin. Watt reminds me of a young Lyndon B. Johnson.

d. How is that Dez Bryant red-zone TD catch not offensive pass interference? He pushed the defensive back down, then turned around and caught the pass. Yes, he and Cortland Finnegan both made contact, but Bryant extended both arms and pushed Finnegan down.

(Peter's phone rings and he picks it up) "Hey, it's Peter, what can I do for you?"

(Marvin Demoff) "You answer the phone like a moron...well, actually that makes sense. Anyway, did you see Cortland Finnegan get pushed down?"

(Peter) "That I did see. I was OUTRAGED at the audacity of Dez Bryant. Though that play had little effect on the outcome of the game."

(Marvin Demoff) "Mention that in MMQB. Not asking, telling. Do it."

(Peter) "I would, but you know, it didn't affec---"

(Marvin Demoff) "Are you too stupid to understand what 'Not asking, telling" means? Do it."

(Peter) "Yes sir, I will do that---" (Marvin Demoff hangs up)

h. Year too early on the Rams optimism.

It's not Peter's fault. He just wants to be right about the Rams so badly, but he can't make them a playoff team simply by constantly talking them up as one. It's very disappointing. On a positive note, the Rams had a fantastic draft. Allow Peter to tell you about the Rams fantastic draft and what a great coach Jeff "8-8" Fisher is...

a. Weiss, on taking the settlement instead of fighting the NFL longer: “People say you only got $765 million. I’d rather have that than $1.5 billion 10 years down the road.”

Hmmm...

6. I think this is one interesting take on the Trent Richardson trade, from former longtime NFL assistant Mike Westhoff after watching the narrow Week 2 Miami win over Indianapolis: “I think if the Colts had Trent Richardson in that game and could have controlled the clock better against the Dolphins, they’d have won that game.”

Apparently Trent Richardson has turned into Adrian Peterson and no one told me.

8. I think I never thought I would see a Tom Coughlin team look as rag-tag and feeble as these Giants.

It's a shame the Giants did look so badly without any help from the team they played.

9. I think I love the nickname Mike Florio has adopted on the grounds where the Cleveland Browns play: The Factory of Sadness. (Browns fan Mike Polk Jr. dubbed the stadium that in a YouTube clip.)

NBC sports synergy at its best.

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

c. Starting Tulane quarterback Nick Montana’s four-game numbers: 77 of 135 (.570), 919 yards, eight touchdowns, three picks. Son of Joe.

Oh, I thought Peter was referring to Tony's kid.

d. Couldn’t be more surprised about a baseball season. For Boston to clinch the division with nine days left in the regular season … I mean, bizarre. Baseball is such a mysterious game. I liked this quote from Red Sox owner John Henry to Gordon Edes after the Friday night clincher, referring to former manager Terry (Tito) Francona: “Tito used to say if we had nine Dustin Pedroias, we’d be champions. This year, I felt like we had 25.”

If the Red Sox had nine Dustin Pedroias then they would have nine guys who can play second base and no one to pitch for them...that's if I take this comment literally of course.

h. Everyone seems to think The Newsroom will be back for year three.

Thanks for the update. "The Newsroom" does seem like the kind of show that Peter would watch though, doesn't it? Peter is the kind of guy who watched "The West Wing" and "The Office" every week, but hasn't seen an episode of "Breaking Bad" or "Parks and Recreation."

i. In case you didn’t catch Jeff Garlin’s Ten Things I Think on The MMQB the other day, he said his gut feeling is Larry David will get the Curb Your Enthusiasm gang back together for another season—at some point. “I don’t ask,’’ he said.

BREAKING NEWS: There may be another season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" in the future or maybe not. No one knows for sure.

l. Congrats, Max Scherzer. Took you a long time to get to 20, but that shouldn’t derail your Cy Young.

Peter is also the type of guy who thinks if a pitcher stays at 19 wins too long then this could derail his Cy Young chances. Again, not surprising.

The Adieu Haiku
Yo, Spencer Lanning:
What a day you had v. Vikes.
You sell popcorn too?


Yo, Peter:
The haikus are dumb.
Why not stop?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

2 comments James Harden Probably Needs a Conservatorship

So I write this post and then James Harden goes to a strip club and "makes it rain." This doesn't change my position, though I am sure this gives Jenni Carlson more ammunition to condescend to James Harden. It is still pretty innocent for a wealthy athlete to go to a strip club and throw money around.

Jenni Carlson of The Oklahoman has decided to condescend to James Harden. She thinks because he likes to party, as exhibited by the one party he threw on a boat, he should probably stay out of a big city once he hits free agency or he will be drawn into the party lifestyle only to realize the error of his ways and change just in time to win the NBA Championship and win over his love interest. Sorry, I may have just outlined the plot of a movie, I'm not completely sure. Jenni thinks the best way to keep Harden in Oklahoma City is to point out to him that he should be treated like a child who can't control his own behavior, so it may be best to play in sleepy little Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (population: 591,967) for the rest of his career. I'm not sure the plan of saying Harden "needs" Oklahoma City is an effective one.

When doing research on Harden and what I had written about him in the past I stumbled across something very interesting. I stumbled on Bill Simmons' 2009 Draft Diary. We all know Bill Simmons loves to tell us when he is right about a player (see: Durant v. Oden), but he isn't so interested in pointing out when he misses on a player. Here's what he had to say about James Harden when he was drafted by the Thunder in 2009:

I like Harden as a glue-character guy and he definitely has a good porn name. But considering the Zombies have to worry about Durant fleeing in a couple of years, wasn't it in their best interests to find him an unselfish guard who's immensely fun to play with and was put on the earth to get Durant easy baskets? Big mistake.

This is what I am often lecturing Simmons about. He doesn't watch enough college basketball to claim to be an expert on Harden. What is James Harden in the NBA? He is an unselfish guard who is fun to play with and can get to the basket to help Durant get easy baskets. He was stuck in a bad offense for his talents at Arizona State. I said so at the time in response to Bill's comment:

Ouch. Bill's lack of college basketball knowledge comes back to bite him in the ass here. James Harden is a great passer and a wonderful teammate. That is actually a weakness that he has, scouts think he is too unselfish and should look for his own shot more. He averaged 4 assists this year and the number would have been higher if Herb Sendek ran an offense that was even halfway amenable to getting good recruits who could make shots. Let's just say if Kevin Durant is Michael Jordan, James Harden is a wonderful Scottie Pippen. The Thunder drafted a shooting guard who is unselfish and immensely fun to play with and will get Durant easy baskets. Harden is no Ricky Rubio, but if you draft Rubio then that pushed Westbrook to the 2 spot, which is not going to work out well. Harden is going to fit in well here.

Then you can read me defending Harden in the comments when an anonymous (I know! Someone who stays anonymous ripped me!) commenter got all sarcastic and shit. I wonder if Bill continues to believe taking Harden over Rubio was a big mistake? I don't think the answer as to which player is a better fit for the Thunder is still up in the air. I think Harden is still a better fit for the Thunder. I also can't judge whether Harden or Rubio are better players in the long run since Rubio has only been in the NBA for one year. I am wrong about a lot of things and I try not to pretend I am smarter than I really am. This was a situation where Bill Simmons was wrong about a player because he watched Harden in the NCAA Tournament and wasn't impressed with him, so he wrote Harden off thinking he knew all he needed to know to make a fair evaluation of Harden's talent.

Anyway, onto Jenni Carlson and her article. I hope this wasn't her intent, but this column seems tone-deaf and makes it seem like James Harden needs someone to watch over him and help him live his life.

Everyone thinks Oklahoma City needs James Harden.

Turns out, it might be the other way around.

James Harden needs Oklahoma City? Why would that be? So that Oklahoma City can be Harden's proverbial mother and prevent his outlandish party ways from ruining his basketball career?

Have you seen pictures from the All-White Yacht Party?

I have and they look like typical pictures of a wealthy, 22 year old celebrating his birthday. Everyone wore white and there were a ton of women celebrating Harden's birthday with him. Harden did what pretty much any other 22 year old single male would do for his birthday. There's nothing egregious or outlandish in those pictures. If someone took pictures of me from the ages of 19-26 celebrating my birthday it would have looked like a cheaper version of this party with less women, less yacht, less white, and more beer as opposed to liquor. This All-White Yacht party isn't a sign James Harden can't handle a big city, but is a sign he just won a gold medal and his team made the NBA Finals, so he wants to party on his birthday.

Everyone dressed in head-to-toe white, hung out on a yacht and, um, had a lot of fun.

Everybody got drunk. It's a party, that's what happens. No one got arrested and from all appearances everyone who attended the party made it home safely. Nothing to see here, let's move on.

But we can't move on, because this party is a clear sign James Harden can't handle playing in a big city. Granted, he is from Los Angeles, California and somehow managed to make it through high school without becoming unfocused and entering rehab a couple of times, but Los Angeles isn't that big of a city is it? Jenni Carlson think there is no way Harden could handle Los Angeles as a mature adult when making a lot of money.

If you believe what you read on Twitter, Diddy or Sean Combs or whatever he's calling himself these days even sent over some pricey cases of Ciroc vodka.

Nothing wrong with that.

There is nothing with that...other than Carlson thinks this is proof James Harden needs to re-sign with Oklahoma City to help ensure this partying doesn't happen all the time. It does seem she believes there is a little something wrong with partying like this.

In fact, my favorite picture is one of Harden surrounded by lovely women. He is shirtless and wearing white pants, a massive gold chain and a gold-and-black, tiger-print cowboy hat.

I mean, Harden is looking more and more like Mr. T every day.

And look what happened to Mr. T. He thought he was all rich and famous after having success with "The A-Team" and "Rocky 3" and now everyone makes fun of him as a punchline to a joke. If James Harden doesn't want to end up doing 1-800 Collect ads in a few years, he better stay in Oklahoma City.

But seriously, if this is how The Beard parties now, what can we expect after he signs what everyone expects will be a massive contract?

But no, this isn't seriously a concern. Harden threw one party. Guess who else was there? Kevin Durant? He was partying too. Where is the concern that Durant has gotten his big extension and now is partying his nights away with Mase, P Diddy, and every other Bad Boy record label star from the 90's? Eric Maynor was there. He's coming off a major injury. Does his being at Harden's party mean he is dodging his rehab and has started partying as a full-time job? Of course not. So why the concern about Harden partying after getting a massive contract? Harden has no history of being trouble off the court.

And if he happens to sign that deal with a team in Los Angeles or New York or some other hot spot?

The Beard may become a wild hair.

James Harden was born in Los Angeles. He went to Arizona State, which is commonly known as one of the biggest party schools in the nation. So far he has managed to grow up in a big city and play college basketball at a huge party school and still be on track for a huge NBA contract at the age of 22. I'm 99% sure Harden can handle playing in a big city. He's not a child and shouldn't be condescended to for throwing himself a birthday party.

Oklahoma City can save Harden from himself.

Oh my. What a condescending sentence. If I were James Harden I would read this sanctimonious sentence and immediately decide I will not be re-signing with the Thunder.

It is as if Oklahoma City is a bastion of purity which will rid James Harden of the evils lurking out in the world. You are a flawed person, James Harden, for daring to party a little bit. Stay in Oklahoma City with the Thunder and together you and Jenni Carlson can continue to look down and judge those who dare to live the lifestyle of those who live in the big city.

Oh, sure, there are plenty of folks who think Harden will be the one helping OKC by staying in town, and there's no doubt that the Thunder is better with him than without him.

It would help both sides if Harden stayed in Oklahoma City. It is not like Harden is going to go to another NBA city and allow the Sirens of that big city ruin his life, and that's why he should re-sign with the Tunder. Like it or not, that's what Jenni Carlson is saying here. She is saying James Harden needs Oklahoma City to help focus him on basketball because he is too immature to play in a big city. By playing in a big city that lurks outside the walls of nobility surrounding Oklahoma City, it is only a matter of time before James Harden is caught with 10 pounds of cocaine and a dead hooker in his bed.

Harden even said some things that make you believe he'd be willing to sacrifice some coin to stay in Oklahoma City.

“This is something special here,” he said a few days after that Finals loss. “A dynasty could be, is being built here. We're winning, we're having fun, and we're brothers.

But then came along the All-White Yacht party and these words have changed into different actions. Now James Harden is all about partying and wearing white as much as possible. The Thunder uniforms aren't white. I wonder if by having an All-White party James Harden was telling the Thunder something?

But you have to wonder if The Beard Express has a chance of running off the rail.

No, we don't. Harden was just being a 22 year old athlete and threw a party for himself. There's nothing else to read into this happening other than Harden wanted to have a party with his friends.

Earlier this summer, his account on Instagram, a picture-based social media website, had a photo of a note with some news.

“JUST FOUND OUT I GOT TRADED TO THE HORNETS,” it read. “I'LL MISS OKC.”

Harden is making jokes about being traded? Some things are just so serious they should not even be joked about. This is one of those things. Someone needs to save James Harden from the downward spiral, because he isn't enough of an adult to help himself at this point.

Not long after, the picture was deleted.

Turns out it was a hoax.

I'm glad it was clarified by Carlson as a hoax, otherwise this column wouldn't have made much sense at all if Harden was currently playing for a team in New Orleans.

Hard to believe the Thunder was real happy that one of its potential franchise players is joking around about that.

Then again, that gold-and-black, tiger-print cowboy hat couldn't have been a big hit either.

I'm guessing the Thunder don't care what Harden does in his spare time, as long as it is legal. They most likely realize he is a grown man who capable of living life on his own and doesn't need a sanctimonious lecture about how drinking is bad.

But I'm telling you, the Thunder could use this to its advantage.

Nothing says, "Oklahoma City is looking out for it's players" like using the fact he throws an expensive party for himself as a part of the contract negotiations.

Harden clearly has some wild child in him, and there's nothing wrong with that, but here's where the Thunder can make OKC a huge positive. Sell Harden and his people on the fact that he shouldn't live in party city with a bunch of money.

Great idea! I'm sure this would work perfectly!

(Sam Presti) "We are not going to offer James the max contract."

(Harden and his agent looked surprised) "Ok. You realize this means you are close to an even playing field with other NBA teams, right? May I ask why? Even though I did just ask why by asking if I could ask why?"

(Sam Presti) "Sure, there's that yacht party James threw. We don't think he's a drunk and we trust him to do the right thing, except we do think he parties too much and we don't trust him to be making a large amount of money and spend this money wisely, but we also think he shouldn't be in a party city with all that money he will make. We trust you will agree. One more thing, we do know our offer evens the playing field...but we are pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty sure James will stay here. (spreads arms out) It's Oklahoma City!"

(Harden pulls a bunny out of his beard and begins to pet it) "You want me to take a discount to stay here? That's what you are saying?"

(Presti) "Well, you and I both know you will fail if you go to a big city. You will blow all of your money on partying and taking ladies out to nightclubs. Then you will be in deep debt and end up playing overseas because no NBA team will want you. We are 95% sure you are another Antoine Walker, but we'd love to have you re-sign with the Thunder."

(Harden's agent) "There's a lot of information you just threw at us. You don't think James is going to be able to handle his money. Do you think he is too stupid to handle his money? He's never had an issue in the past with handling his money."

(Presti) "Absolutely not. James just shouldn't live in a party city with a bunch of money. He's never had a problem before because he has played in Oklahoma City his whole career. James is too feeble-minded to handle living in a bigger city."

(Harden's agent responds while Harden picks food crumbs out of his beard) "Oh ok, you don't think he is stupid, you just think can't handle his money and have no respect for him as a free-thinking person. I get it."

(Presti) "Absolutely not. James had that yacht party a year ago and it really made us think he couldn't handle a big city, even though he grew up in Los Angeles and has never indicated before he couldn't handle his money. We can save James from his fate. Let us do this."

(Harden's agent) "If you are 95% sure Harden is going to be another Antoine Walker why do you even want him on your team. Won't he blow money here too?"

(Presti) "Well no. There is a lot of evil in big cities and there is nothing evil here in Oklahoma City. Only Oklahoma City can save you James. Let us save you."

(Harden and his agent gets up to leave) "We're done here. The fact you tried to use James' birthday party as a negotiation ploy to convince us James can't handle living in a big city tells me all I need to know."

(Presti screams after them) "You know not what you do. You need us to save you!"

Convince them that he can visit places like L.A. and Miami in the offseason but that he needs to spend most of his time in a place like Oklahoma City.

Nothing could help convince an NBA player that he should re-sign with his current team more than them suggesting what he should or should not do or where he should go visit in the offseason. NBA players love it when teams show them a lack of respect.

Last I checked, Lake Hefner didn't have enough water to float a boat big enough for another All-White Yacht Party.

I definitely think the Thunder should lead negotiations with Harden based on the following three ideas:

1. Oklahoma City is a boring place to live.

2. Harden needs Oklahoma City because he isn't capable of handling living in a big city. He needs to be saved from himself.

3. The Thunder don't want to just be your employer, they want to run your entire life.

I think we can just chalk this article up to a bad case of writer's block.