12 comments If Don't Like Tim Tebow It Is Only Because You Know He is a Better Person Than You

I find it interesting Jelisa Castrodale asks the question of why so many people don't like Tim Tebow and then proceeds to write an entire column which could be used as Example #1 of why some people don't like Tim Tebow. Castrodale says Tebow makes his haters feel bad because he makes them feel bad about their own lives. In reality, many people don't like Tim Tebow because there are columns written about how much better than you he is. It's a self-perpetuating cycle by the media. They write the columns about Tebow and then write about the reaction to the columns. It is also a cycle that Tebow hasn't done a whole lot to perpetuate himself, if I was being completely honest. Sports columnist after sports columnist writes a column about Tebow saying what a great and polarizing guy he can be. No one shuts up about him...including myself I guess. The haters of Tebow want him to be judged by his performance on the field and those who defend Tebow say the haters hate on Tebow because of his religion or because he's just such a darn swell guy.

Any criticism of Tebow isn't taken as criticism of him as a quarterback, but a criticism of him as a person. Naturally, the media keeps writing and talking about him because it is ratings and pageviews gold. If the sports media keeps talking about Tebow, then that this means they keep talking about how controversial he is and continue to irritate those tired of talking about Tebow.

When I was a kid, I was a seriously picky eater, mashing every home-cooked meal into an unappealing, untouched smudge in the center of my plate...I lived on JIF and grape jelly until until my mother noticed the laundry-faded Los Angeles Rams jersey I wore every day and said, “Jim Everett eats his vegetables. He wants you to eat yours.” She was close — most of the NFC fed him a steady diet of Anaheim Stadium grass that season — but it worked.

I imagine that somewhere in the Colorado suburbs, a harried mother is lifting a fork toward a reluctant elementary schooler, hissing through clenched teeth, “C’mon. Tim Tebow wants you to eat your vegetables.”

If you are wondering whether this story has a point other than to refer back to this story at the end of this column...the answer is "no," it really doesn't have a point.

And I’m sure he does. If asked politely, he’d probably make an appearance in their kitchen with a glass of milk, an orthodontically enhanced smile and a passage from Corinthians.

Tim Tebow cares about your kids. Though I am not sure what a Bible verse has to do with eating vegetables, but a sportswriter is contractually obligated to mention a chapter of the Bible when talking about Tim Tebow.

After everyone’s plates were cleaner than his reputation, he’d politely excuse himself, returning home to spend the evening hand-carving a set of wooden prosthetics for a limbless orphan.

What's so ironic is the very question, "Why do people hate Tim Tebow so much?" is answered in this very passage. Because shit like this gets written about him. You wrote this column and this is the 5,000 column like this written about Tebow. That's why some people hate Tim Tebow. It is the same reason people don't like David Eckstein and Darin Erstad. A certain part of the public doesn't like reading the superlatives about a person over and over.

I’m only half-kidding. He’d probably opt for Galatians instead.

Haha! Again, this is why some people hate Tim Tebow. The pedestal many in the media prop him up on and then ask that he doesn't be judged by his performance on the football field. JemeHill wrote a column about it was offensive for Stephen Tulloch to "Tebow" over Tim Tebow after sacking him. This act was seen by her as an affront to Tebow's religion, not Tebow, which is ridiculous. The world wants to judge Tim Tebow separately from his religion, but the sports media just won't allow this to happen. There's no word from JemeHill on whether her co-workers are mocking Tebow or his religion when they get in the same pose Tulloch did. I am sure when ESPN employees do it then it is all out of good fun and isn't meant to harm.

It should be impossible for anyone to dislike Tebow, the person.

I would bet no one dislikes Tebow as a person. He seems like a great guy. This is the core of the problem. The sports media can differentiate criticism of Tebow's football skills and criticism of Tebow. Here's a great example:

He tweets individual fans to thank them for coming to his book signings, he takes Special Olympics participants to rock concerts, and is deeply involved with the foundation that wears his name, the one that raises money for orphanages and pediatric cancer centers.

So there should be no mocking of Tebow because he does all of these other great things? This is at the very heart of the problem. No one dislikes Tim Tebow, but any criticism of him is met with "look at what a great person he is!" It confuses the issue. Few hate Tim Tebow as a person, they just don't think he is a great quarterback. The problem is any criticism of Tebow is taken as a personal attack and is met with a litany (see above) of all the great things he does. Castrodale doesn't want you to dislike Tebow for who he is as a person, but she will sure defend his ability to play quarterback by describing to you how good of a person Tebow is.

So what does he get in return? A @WhyTebowSucks twitter account, infrequently updated websites such as TebowHaters.com and TimmyTebowSucks.com and an Official “I Hate Tim Tebow” Facebook page.

Tebow is the first quarterback to be spoken of negatively. What a martyr he is!

Even Hulk Hogan took an afternoon away from taping an episode of his wrestling dwarf reality show to bash Tebow on "SportsNation."

Hulk Hogan, and I can’t believe I am defending him, did not bash Tebow for who he is as a person. He based him for his ability to play quarterback. There is a difference. This is much of why people are tired of Tebow. His media defenders don’t want you to judge him for being a Christian, but they will sure as hell throw his religion and good nature in your face to defend him.

Hogan ripped a Tebow jersey in half, made a comment about how big Tebow’s legs/arms and said Tebow had not won anything yet. This hardly qualifies as saying harsh criticism of Tebow. Especially coming from a guy like Hulk Hogan who probably has the IQ of a squirrel and has made a career out of professional wrestling.

Tebow is, obviously, a good guy. A great guy. But he’s also been propped up as the personification of virtue, spending the past five years as an archetype more than an athlete

By people like you. By people who write the following about Tebow:

After everyone’s plates were cleaner than his reputation, he’d politely excuse himself, returning home to spend the evening hand-carving a set of wooden prosthetics for a limbless orphan.

You are partially responsible for making this archetype.

The NFL’s other backup-turned-starters don’t generate this type of negativity. There’s never this kind of eye-rolling reaction to, say, Minnesota’s Christian Ponder,

Only the sports media could shove Tebow’s personal life down the public’s collective throats and then wonder why there has been a backlash against his personal life. Do you know why there is no eye-rolling about Christian Ponder? It is because Christian Ponder hasn’t been shoved down the public’s throat as sport’s answer to the Pope. It is because no one brings up Ponder’s personal beliefs and then has Skip Bayless and some other brainless talking head debate them for 15 minutes.

The personal attacks and angry facial expressions that follow Tebow seem to have less to do with Denver’s 1-4 record than they do with Romans 1:16, which reads “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ.”

Not true, they have much to do with his performance on the field. Writers turn this criticism of Tebow on the field into what they see as a personal attack against Tebow. Also, when did angry facial expressions become a personal attack or even somewhat close to the same level as a personal attack? So angry facial expressions at athletes are no longer tolerated? I would bet $100 the “personal attacks,” whatever the hell those are described as, don’t have anything to do with the Broncos or Tebow’s beliefs. The “personal attacks,” which apparently ripping a jersey and criticizing a player now qualifies as a personal attack, result having to read sentences like the very next one:

That’s one of the verses Tebow inked beneath his eyes at Florida, during that season when his eyeblack had more Scripture than the bedside table at an airport Sheraton.

We get it. If you don’t want this to be a story, don’t make it one.

Then there are those who sit with their hands hovering expectantly over their keyboards, just waiting for what they'll see as his inevitable misstep. They want to catch him sneaking into The Human Centipede or illegally downloading The Human Centipede or actually building a Human Centipede.

Unfortunately, unlike sports columnists many people don’t sit at home and have visions of Tebow dancing in their head. The irony of all irony in this statement is while Castrodale blames the fans at home for wanting to see this, who do you think would be the quickest to jump on the “Tebow is a hypocrite” bandwagon if Tebow as finally seen as a fallible person? The sports media.

Yeah, the constant platitudes for his teammates and pledges to work harder and cloyingly positive attitude can make you shout "CAN IT, DUDLEY DO-RIGHT" at your television screen,

This is the part Castrodale doesn’t get. It isn’t Tebow’s actions that drive the public crazy. It is the media’s reaction to Tebow’s actions. JemeHill writes a column saying Stephen Tulloch was mocking Tebow’s religion by “Tebowing” and Woody Paige speaks as if those who don’t believe in Tebow’s ability to play quarterback in the NFL like non-believers in a religion. This pedestal Tebow is placed upon isn’t completely by Tebow’s doing, it is also by many of his defenders inability to separate Tebow the athlete from the Tebow the person.

Maybe it's hard to like Tebow because he makes us feel worse about our lives. Not in an MTV Cribs "I'll never have a pair of solid gold pants" kind of way, but because he's held himself to a standard that we know we can't reach

If you want to know why some people don’t like Tim Tebow, read these two sentences again. Then read them again. Then read them again. These two sentences are exactly why some people are negative towards Tim Tebow. The anti-Tebow crowd isn’t reacting only to the saturation of the media’s coverage of Tebow's religion or the media's knee-jerk reaction to make any criticism about Tebow’s game as criticism of Tebow on a personal level. No, these people don’t like Tebow because he is just that much better than you are and you can’t stand the reality of this.

This is really how sportswriters like Jelisa Castrodale see it and it just amazes me. She honestly believes people hate on Tim Tebow because he reminds them of what terrible people they are compared to him.

He wouldn't ignore the elderly woman struggling to push her groceries to her car. He wouldn't make snap judgments about NFL sophomores who play two time zones to the left.

Again, sentences like this are why people react negatively to the mention of Tim Tebow. How can Jelisa Castrodale not see this? She is making him to be a perfect, infalliable deity when we all know that isn’t the truth. Then Castrodale wonders why there is a backlash to Tebow.

Maybe that's why it's easier to embrace a me-first NBA player who calls himself "King James" than to accept the humble NFL-er who quotes King James.

It is ridiculous to suggest LeBron is a more popular athlete than Tim Tebow. LeBron James is one of the most hated athletes in sports. Of course bending the truth or pretending like Tebow is very much hated is the best way to prove the point of how much people hate Tebow. Who cares if it is the entire truth or not? It fits the narrative to bring “King James” and an athlete who quotes King James together in a sentence.

Speaking of garbage, the Denver Broncos finished with a franchise worst 4-12 record last season and have sputtered to a 1-4 start, thanks in part to Kyle Orton’s 58.7 completion percentage. Other players would’ve turned water to whine by now, speaking out of turn, criticizing the coaching strategy or strongly suggesting that they get a chance to start.

I’d like to have Jelisa Castrodale quote one backup quarterback who has complained about the coaching strategy of his team or suggested he should get the chance to start. I would guess she could only come up with 3-4 instances where this has happened. Again, deceiving the audience into believing these types of things happen regularly is the best way to get her narrative come true. Who cares if the truth gets exaggerated? She wants other backup quarterbacks to complain about their playing time on a regular basis so she can compare Tebow’s attitude favorably to these quarterbacks. Another reason there is a backlash against Tebow is the constant insistence by the media to show how much better than anyone else Tebow is.

Not Tebow, who stood supportively on the sidelines, ears tucked beneath a mesh-backed hat as he reminded himself that thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s playing time.

Not any other backup quarterback either. I am sure there is 1-2 instances where a backup quarterback has complained about playing time or strategy, but it is easier for Castrodale to pretend this happens more frequently in order to show why you hate Tim Tebow. You don’t hate him because he is made to be greater than he is, but you hate him because the facts as they are distorted show him to be greater than he is.

Tebow had one college start at the Dolphins' stadium, when he and the Gators collected that championship over Sam Bradford’s Oklahoma Sooners. Tebow completed 18 of 30 passes for 231 yards, and Noah-approved pairs of TDs and INTs.

You don’t want him judged by his religion, yet you keep bringing his religion up.

First-year coach John Fox will just be relieved not to see the words “Jake Delhomme” on his depth chart.

We wouldn’t want facts to get in the way of your argument. John Fox really liked Jake Delhomme and Fox was the one who kept Delhomme at the top of his depth chart.

And Kyle Orton will sit sullenly on the bench, ignoring Tebow’s worn copy of Chicken Soup for the Second Stringer’s Soul.

This is the second-part of the Tebow narrative. This is the part most popularized by Woody Paige. Tim Tebow sits on the bench and is a good teammate while Orton starts in front of Tebow, while Orton sits on the bench and pouts while Tebow starts in front of Orton. What a great guy Tebow is compared to that sullen, cry-baby Kyle Orton? Who cares if it is true? It doesn’t matter because the truth is secondary to putting Tebow up on his pedestal. For Tebow to be the protagonist, there has to be an antagonist, regardless of whether it is true. A little exaggeration, lying, and misleading is all for the sake of worshipping Tebow.

He closed his post with “GB²”, his acronym that stands for “God Bless, Go Broncos.” That’s as perfect a summary of Tebow as you can get: He’s a Christian first, a football player second.

To sports fans he is a football player first, Christian second. This is also why the “Tebow is better than you based on his devout religious beliefs" narrative creates a hostile reaction.

That won't change whether Tebow wins or loses, whether he starts or stands, whether you love him or hate him. He is who he is, and I'll always respect him for that.

You don’t need to convince anyone that Tebow is a good guy. That’s not the issue about why there is a Tebow backlash. Re-read your own column. The summary of the great deeds Tebow performs isn’t the point of the haters. It isn’t about him as a person, it is about him as a football player and how certain members of the media combat criticism of his ability on the football field with his religion off the field.

6 comments Jay Mariotti Still Mad at Ozzie Guillen for "Outing" Him

I had so many titles for the post today that I didn't necessarily want to put as the title for various reasons. Among them were:

"Jay Mariotti Still Hates Ozzie Guillen, Puppies, Babies, and Human Life in General."

"Jay Mariotti: Poster Child for Woman's Right to Choose."

"Jay Mariotti Still Hates Ozzie Guillen and the Entire World Still Hates Jay Mariotti."

"When the World Ends, Only Cockroaches and Jay Mariotti Will Survive, But How Will We Be Able to Tell the Difference in the Two?"

"No One Likes Jay Mariotti, Even His Heart."

"Mrs. Mariotti, Why Did You Release This Menace On the World?"

"Jay Mariotti Attacks Ozzie Guillen Again, and Ozzie Guillen Tries to Convince Heart Attack to Hit Mariotti Harder Next Time."

"Grim Reaper Comes For Jay Mariotti and Returns Him...Says Even He Has Standards For Souls He Will Accept."

I finally ended up with the title I put above because it was mean enough to be a title and not too mean where I am just beating up on Mariotti in the title. I do think I could go on and on with titles for this post that insult Jay Mariotti, but I will get to the actual post now. In between being shocked baseball isn't kid friendly and beating up on Bud Selig, Jay Mariotti has just remembered he hates Ozzie Guillen.

I have a dream...Ozzie Guillen and Jay Mariotti in a steel cage match...winner takes all. Why can't this happen?

Ozzie Guillen has messed up again and Jay Mariotti is taking time out of his busy schedule of hating everyone in general to direct his anger right at him.

The Blizzard of Oz, as I've come to call Ozzie Guillen, should have been put out of his misery years ago,

Jay Mariotti should have also been put out of his misery years ago. Who likes him? Who reads his writing and actually likes it? I want you to out yourself, I won't feel differently about you, I just want to know why you like him. It's like going in the mind of a serial killer, I have to know what you are thinking.

dumped like an out-of-control radio caller unfit for human consumption.

Should Guillen also be dumped like an out-of-control writer on television who spends his time yelling at the television in order to make a point?

It's funny that Mariotti takes a shot at callers on radio shows because nothing Mariotti says on "Around the Horn" that is any more in-depth or interesting than what your standard radio caller has to say on air. For example, he writes an entire article about why Ozzie Guillen should be fired, but why does he really even care at this point if Guillen gets fired or not...other than the fact he doesn't like Guillen due to a feud they have with each other.

It is the typical Jay Mariotti feud. He takes a shot at a person, the other person takes a shot at him, Mariotti takes another shot and then goes into hiding so he doesn't get his ass kicked as he takes more shots at the person, and then through the years Mariotti randomly expresses his dislike for this person in his columns.

The problem is that his bosses have enabled his mindless, profane, manic and often dangerous dialogue because, well, his team happened to get lucky in 2005 and help the franchise win a World Series for the only time in 93 years.

Got lucky, didn't get lucky...it doesn't matter. They won the World Series. I am not sure how a team that wins 99 games gets lucky, that sounds like a pretty good team to me. Still, without calling them lucky, Jay Mariotti would have to admit Guillen isn't a terrible manager. He has accomplished in his short time with the White Sox what no other Chicago manager had been able to do for decades (and generations), win a World Series. There has to be some talent in his managing skills to do that. The 2005 White Sox team won 99 games, I don't call that luck.

So how comical to see those very same enablers, general manager Ken Williams and owner Jerry Reinsdorf, now being torched and embarrassed by their own monster.

It's hilariously comical if you are the type of person to sit around and wish for terrible things to happen to other people all day. I can't believe Jerry Reinsdorf, who would have brought both the Jordan-era and post-Jordan-era Bulls down with his poor personnel and management decisions if it weren't for Phil Jackson and others, has such bad luck. Thank God, there were others who wouldn't listen to Reinsdorf during the 90's or I could only imagine what the Bulls teams would have looked like.

It was inevitable that the Blizzard would shift his foul-mouthed focus from his own players, players and managers on other teams, TV analysts, sports columnists, blow-up dolls, social issues

How dare he have an opinion on issues! He should be more like Bobby Cox and punch his wife or more like Tony LaRussa and get arrested for DUI. Domestic violence and drunk driving we can stand, but to use your freedom of speech when talking about issues OUTSIDE of baseball? Unacceptable.

Yeah Ozzie Guillen is a loud-mouth and he doesn't always say the right thing, but he is a breath of fresh air for me because he does those things. It's entertaining for me.

and Sean Penn -- yes, he bleep-bleeped the actor for defending Venezuela president Hugo Chavez --

Not Sean Penn! Now Ozzie Guillen has crossed the line. I can't believe Guillen criticized Sean Penn for defending a socialist semi-dictator who is essentially controlling his country through a tight fist that keeps many in poverty and encourages government control of the media.

Who should really know better about what Hugo Chavez has done to Venezuela and it's people? Actor Sean Penn or Ozzie Guillen who is from Venezuela and very likely still has family and friends in the country? Really, let's think about this. Doesn't Ozzie Guillen probably know more about Chavez and is in a better position to criticize him than Sean Penn?

Obviously Sean Penn does according to Jay Mariotti. So Ozzie was WAY out of line for criticizing a socialist semi-dictator. Maybe Jay Mariotti should go to Venezuela and work for Hugo Chavez.

Predictably, Guillen arrived at spring training eager to expand his goofballish persona via social media networks such as Twitter, which allows him to express his absurd ramblings 24/7, heaven help us.

Fucking freedom of speech. Who created that for everyone anyway? Only those who eloquently and intelligently can put the spoken word down on paper, like Jay Mariotti, should be able to use their freedom of speech to express what they would like to say.

Williams was understandably leery, but his stance on the matter also was hypocritical, as often happens in the team boardroom, in that he and Reinsdorf signed off on a MLB Network reality show that is going behind the scenes with the team and front office this season.

So it was hypocritical to allow Ozzie Guillen to participate in social networking and also allow the team to be filmed by MLB Network for a reality show? Isn't this is the opposite of hypocritical because in both instances the White Sox are allowing what thoughts that are normally private in the White Sox organization to become public?

The fact Ken Williams was nervous about Guillen participating in social networking doesn't mean he is hypocritical for letting MLB Network behind-the-scenes of the White Sox organization. I am sure he was a little leery about participating in that show as well, but he still agreed to do it.

With much reluctance, Williams agreed to let the twit tweet.

Name-calling. Always a journalistic technique only used by the highest quality of writers.

E on the boss.

That's a baseball reference! That's hilarious and relevant to the topic at hand!

When the Blizzard's newest hobby made national news, he started thinking bigger, like some media megalomaniac. He devised a plan to launch his own personal Web page with the help of his family.

And after Ozzie Guillen started his own Web page, he was planning on immediately taking over the world. I like how off Jay Mariotti's line of thought is. He believes that Ozzie Guillen, who always has microphones and cameras in front of him as one of the managers of the 30 Major League Baseball teams, needs Twitter or a Web page to get his message out to the masses, even though this has never stopped him before. As if in some way, being the manager of the Chicago White Sox is less high profile than having a Web page and a Twitter account.

It seemed Guillen was becoming so full of himself, urged on by primitive Sox fans who like getting attention of any sort in Cubs-dominated Chicago,

They must be looking for the attention that winning the World Series in 2005 couldn't provide. Again, I enjoy how off Jay Mariotti's line of thought is here too. He thinks White Sox fans are primitive for using Internet social media to gain attention in the city of Chicago. Call them attention-hungry, but using post-new millennium technology to gain attention is not primitive.

The timing couldn't be worse. With the season-ending elbow injury to Joe Nathan dealing a heavy blow to the Minnesota Twins, the White Sox and their new ace pitcher, Jake Peavy, suddenly are the favorites to conquer the American League Central.

As we all know, when the manager of a Major League Baseball team starts to use social media technology this speeds up Joe Nathan's recovery time and causes Jake Peavy to pitch poorly. That's why Jake Peavy was injured last year, Bud Black was always on Facebook "friending" people and it weakened Peavy's ability to withstand an injury.

The last thing they needed was another in a long line of shameful Blizzard episodes.

Due to the fact these episodes have effected the White Sox little in the past, concerning on-the-field performance, I don't see how it makes a difference.

But that is exactly what happened, courtesy of his 24-year-old son, Oney. If ever you don't want a son to act like his father, it would apply to any offspring of Ozzie Guillen.

If there was ever offspring I don't want acting like his father, it would be the son of Adolf Hitler, possibly Osama Bin Laden's children, Kim Jong's children, and just for good measure any children of Jay Mariotti. Other than the fact he called Jay Mariotti "gay," I don't see how Ozzie Guillen is a terrible person.

I could probably name 100 other people off the top of my head who no one would want acting like their father, but clearly none of them would be as bad as the son of an outspoken baseball manager taking after his father. It's abhorrent to hear him speak his mind and use his freedom of speech in the way he does. In fact, it's un-American.

it was Oney who went bonkers in the spirit of, um, family pride. As an employee in the team's video department, he should have been thankful to have a job in Major League Baseball.

Just like Jay Mariotti should be thankful enough people hate him that he gets pageviews everyday that justify the money he gets paid to be hated. Also, I don't get why working in the video department of the White Sox means Oney Guillen should be thankful to have a job, other than the fact he has a job and should be happy about that.

So, like Ozzie, Oney took to his Twitter account, @oneyroberto.

And attacked the very men who employ both Guillens.

11:23 a.m.: "The Guillen family just got screwed over or (expletive) ... but dont worry we have our own way of handling this.''

Jay Mariotti spends this entire column attacking the Guillen family and what they have said publicly about pretty much anything. He doesn't think they deserve a forum to speak their mind or say what they want to the public. Then when writing about this issue, Jay Mariotti freely gives everyone Oney Guillen's Twitter account name, which is still active. So Jay Mariotti has made it easier for people who read his columns to read Oney Guillen's "useless" ramblings by providing this information.

A few minutes later, he took a Twitter swipe at a restaurant, which would seem harmless if the place wasn't co-owned by Williams.

11:46 a.m.: "My fav restaurant in chicago is Chi tung Latte. My least fav Market hands down worst food in the city."

Oh no, he didn't! He took a swipe at a restaurant that is co-owned by the White Sox General Manager! Cripple fight!

If anything, these comments are harmless and immature. I am pretty sure the city of Chicago is not taking food critic advice from Oney Guillen. It's not like he is Gordon Ramsey or anything. He works in the video department of a Major League Baseball team, so to a normal person his opinion means so very little, but to Jay Mariotti this comment will have tremendous repercussions.

Very quickly, after Reinsdorf and Williams called a meeting with Ozzie, Oney was gone. Guillen said last week that he told his son to resign, but his explanation over the weekend included an odd rant that seemed to be a passive-aggressive shot at his bosses.

So let me get this straight...Oney Guillen made an inappropriate comment on Twitter and now he has been let go because of this? So Oney Guillen was in the wrong and he paid for this mistake with his job?

The horror! A human resources problem was taken care of in a timely manner? How dare they do this. Ozzie Guillen is a monster because he isn't happy his son was let go/fired! Most parents would be proud to have their children fired/let go from a job.

"I have to put myself in the situation of feeling comfortable," Guillen said. "When you talk about your family, that's different. I don't give a [bleep] who you are. When you talk about my wife, my kids -- I'll kill anybody for them. When you're not right, you're not right. That's why I made the decision. I made the decision. It was not Kenny, it was not Jerry, it was not [vice president of communications] Scott Reifert. It was myself [who] made that decision for them because ... I don't want to come here every day and feel uncomfortable about anything.

Let's be honest. Any father who loved his child would be frustrated and upset with this situation. What I can't believe is that Ozzie is making this ALL about him...

What's today, the 20th? It's time to talk about how good Peavy is, how good [Gordon Beckham] is and how good my ballclub is going to play. Everyone should be behind us and hopefully in November, we're celebrating with a [bleeping] trophy and have a nice book about how this season began."

How self-centered is that? He wants to turn the focus on to HIS baseball team that HE manages. Ozzie thinks EVERYONE should pay attention to how good HIS team's pitchers and HIS team's hitters are. He even wants the entire city of Chicago to get behind them and watch HIM and HIS team celebrate at the end of the year. How selfish, it's all about him. Clearly.

But how can anyone expect a happy ending here when Guillen, last Friday night, tweeted this in Spanish about his bosses: "They touched me where it hurts most and I have to be ready for whatever comes as I always do."

Ozzie Guillen is a human. He is probably pretty upset his son wrote that on Twitter and is upset that he had to be let go by the team. It hurt him the White Sox wanted his son gone. This would be the case for nearly every parent in this situation. No one said it is rational to be rational in a situation like this.

What should come next is his pink slip. Who in his right mind addresses his bosses with thoughts of "killing'' them, whether he actually means it literally or not?

Umm...if I said I would kill for my family to someone, that doesn't mean I am actually threatening them. I know Jay Mariotti knows this, but he is pretending not to in the hopes Ozzie Guillen gets fired by the White Sox because of this column.

And just how many of these episodes should this franchise deal with -- honestly, I've lost count --

You can always count on Jay Mariotti for honesty.

before Reinsdorf and Williams decide to cut their losses, regain their dignity, realize Guillen has made the postseason only twice in his six seasons and replace him with a more grounded and mature manager who will purge the circus and run a professional operation?

He's only made the postseason twice in the last six years, winning a World Series once? Under this standard many managers over the history of baseball should have been fired somewhere along the way of their career.

After Ozzie tried to smooth over the situation by agreeing that his son would resign, you'd think he would have had a long talk with Oney about public decorum and respecting the people who sign his paycheck. Apparently, such a talk didn't happen or failed to sink in. For the next day, Oney told the Chicago Sun-Times, "They talk about family atmosphere and being up front, where was it? No one ever came and talked to me about it face-to-face. No one approached me like a man, after they supposedly preach that here.''

Jay Mariotti is pretending to know the entire situation, which he doesn't. Maybe Ozzie did try to talk to his son, but wasn't able to talk to him in time for the interview with the Chicago Sun-Times was published. Since it came out in the paper the day after the incident, the interview was obviously done the day of the incident when emotions were still high.

As someone who makes a living having to deliver harsh commentary at times,

Jay Mariotti considers himself to the be the faithful messenger to the masses. It is such a noble and holy cause for a person who pretty much has no integrity (from what I have seen) and is hated by most of his fellow employees and colleagues.

I am not scared to articulate thoughts about subjects that have included Reinsdorf, Williams and Guillen.

He is scared of Ozzie Guillen. When Guillen called him "gay" and Mariotti struck back, Guillen challenged Mariotti to come talk to him face-to-face...and that didn't happen. Mariotti delivered his harsh commentary and then hid from the world like he enjoys doing.

The difference is that I use my brain; Guillen and his son do not.

That's a lie. Jay Mariotti doesn't use his brain. His evil soul writes his columns for him. He thinks wicked thoughts and his wretched soul writes the columns we all read and dislike.

The minute Ozzie wrote that Sox management "touched me where it hurts most'' -- all because they won't let him have a personal Web page after agreeing to let him tweet and do all his other nonsense -- it should have been the final straw inside any clear-thinking, self-respecting organization.

Right. Shake up the entire White Sox team in Spring Training because of hurt feelings and a Web page...this makes perfect sense. Nothing says smart management like firing a successful manager over something his son did which wasn't illegal, unethical nor did it affect the team in any way.

But Reinsdorf, as vindictive a man as you'll see in sports,

Next to Jay Mariotti.

Never mind that Guillen, in the process, also has turned the Sox into a shameful and ridiculous franchise.

The White Sox are not a shameful or ridiculous franchise. The Royals and the Pirates, those are ridiculous and shameful franchises. The White Sox are a competitive baseball team that is run by a manager who, big mouth or not, has had some success managing.

Remember how Reinsdorf, as chairman of the Chicago Bulls in their six-title glory days, allowed a dynasty to disintegrate before its time amid wicked dissension?

Guess who sided with Krause? Yep, Reinsdrf, who let Jackson ride off on his Harley to four more championships in Los Angeles and Jordan fade away for a few years before signing with -- gulp -- the Washington Wizards for an ill-fated period as a player and executive. "Organizations win championships,'' Krause declared one night before the season started, which turned everyone off but Dennis Rodman, who was perpetually stoned anyway.

So because Jerry Reinsdorf helped contribute to the demise of a franchise over a decade ago, he should do the exact same thing now and fire Ozzie Guillen? Mariotti believes this even after knowing organizations don't win championships without hiring the right people also?

Maybe Mariotti doesn't know organizations also need to hire the right people.

And it is doomed to fail. As it was, Guillen and Williams had offseason disagreements about the direction of the club -- Ozzie wants more speed and fewer home runs in one of baseball's most power-friendly ballparks.

I am sure Ozzie Guillen is specifically asking Ken Williams for players who hit less home runs. I am 100% sure that is his exact request.

God forbid a manager and a general manager disagree over the direction of a baseball team. I bet that has never happened before.

"Kenny's my boss, he's always going to be and I respect that. I don't think [Yankees GM Brian] Cashman and [former Yankees manager] Joe Torre got along that well and they won six [bleeping] championships.''

How insulting to suggest that Cashman and Torre, two fine gentlemen, ever behaved like these children.

It is insulting, even though Joe Torre wrote a book detailing how he feels like Brian Cashman did not act like a gentleman when Torre's contract was to be discussed in the offseason of 2007. Let's ignore that and pretend the Yankees manager and general manager never had a disagreement on the direction of the baseball team.

If Jay Mariotti could read, he would know Torre hated many of the signings the Yankees made in the early 2000's. He also expressed his displeasure with these signings to Brian Cashman. I assume disagreements followed.

And how interesting that Guillen conveniently left out this little fact: Torre was forced out two years ago.

How interesting Mariotti calls them gentleman and then immediately refers to their major disagreement and eventual end of a working relationship with each other.

The Yankees, under Joe Girardi, won the World Series last year. The White Sox, under Guillen, won't win the World Series again.

Clearly, Jay Mariotti doesn't know this. He is just hoping this is true.

The Blizzard of Oz was a good story when the Sox were champions in 2005. But it's now 2010, and the statute of limitations on lunacy expired long ago.

For the sake of everyone involved, mostly Ozzie Guillen, please end this hideous sideshow at once.

Fire Ozzie Guillen! Why? Because he called Jay Mariotti "gay" one time...and that's pretty much the only reason we need. Seriously, if anyone likes Jay Mariotti's columns, I would love to hear from you. I won't attack you or anything, I just want to know why you like them...for my own interest. I have a bet going with myself that no one likes Jay Mariotti and this blog has at least 7 readers, so I thought maybe someone would like Mariotti.

I actually want Ozzie Guillen to get fired (or Mariotti get fired) so Jay Mariotti will quit writing columns about him. Or I could go for the steel cage death match between the two. Either way works for me.

I am doing my best to ignore Bill Simmons' column from last Friday. My will is weak though.

12 comments Picking With Bill Simmons

Fridays are my favorite day of the week and not because I sometimes actually get a Saturday off work but because I get low hanging fruit that I don't have to think about, I can just let the words come to me. Still no Sports Gal, and I am wondering where she has gone. Has she left Bill, is she tired of his writing desecrating her good writing? This is the part of the year where Bill makes up awards that reference, this may shock you, pop culture and connects those awards with sports. Also he goes overload on the same jokes he has always used in this column, so get excited for that. Let's take a look.

Even Romeo Crennel is more alive than my dream for an 11-0 playoff run.

Bill starts the column off with a good strong, not funny joke.

When it was unclear whether a Minnesota player had re-established himself outside the end zone before downing a punt on the Philly 2-yard line, the officials conferred as both Andy Reid and Brad Childress held red flags waiting to dispute the call either way. That's right, two of the worst challengers in football history were going head to head! This wasn't just the most exciting moment of the weekend; we're going to be hard-pressed to top it for 2009.

Yet another example of why Jimmey Kimmel hired Bill. This is hard hitting, great comedy. Actually, I think I could hear jokes exactly like this every single day for every minute of every day and that is why Bill's columns are just so hilarious.

How much is 10-15 yards of field position (either way) worth 10-12 times in a 60-minute game? Ten points? Fourteen? How do we calculate this?

I don't know of a really complex way to measure this, but let's use this thing called "math" to figure it out. There may have been no math courses at Holy Cross or you were too busy puking into a trash can with your other white male friends.

This is very simple but let's try:

Take the length of a team's average drive over the course of the year.

Then either add/subtract 15 yards from that and ascertain where the average drive for a team would end if they lose/gained an extra 15 yards. Of course then you would have to factor in the accuracy of the kicker's leg and other variables but I think it can be ascertained. Actually don't listen to what I just wrote, it may be wrong, just do what you always do and make something up.

Look for Bill to get help on this and have an answer next week.

The Bird Who Crapped On My T-Shirt Right Before the 2004 Baseball Playoffs Award for "Best omen heading into a game"

Oh that's right. The Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 by beating the Yankees in the ALCS. I had completely forgotten about that since the last time Bill mentioned it, which was probably his last column.

Let's add this to Playoff Manifesto 5.0 and make it the new No. 1 rule: Any time Matt Millen inexplicably appears on a studio show, picks a playoff team to win and seems confident about that pick, bet the house on the other team as fast as you humanly can."

I wish the No. 1 rule in Playoff Manifesto 5.0 was "there will be no more playoff manifestos" but Bill does this to keep himself modern, so I have been thwarted yet again.

What's with the closed quotes after "...humanly can?" There were no quotes at the beginning of the sentence so no need to close the quotes. It's sad for ESPN that a blogger is better at proofreading columns than the editors and Bill are.

Who would ever eat a McNugget without immediately thinking, "I am eating a McNugget?" And what hostess would lie and pretend she made them herself?

Another example of the hard hitting journalism Bill provides. Before I get told for the 1,000 time that Bill is not supposed to be a hard hitting journalist, he is supposed to be entertaining, I ask you this, "is this comment entertaining?"

I thought not.

If McDonald's is going to have an ad where a woman deceives her guests, it should use their secretly delicious chocolate chip cookies, which the Sports Gal brought to a shower one time last year and nearly pretended she made herself before confessing.

So the answer to "what hostess would lie and pretend she made them herself" is probably the same answer as "what guest would bring cookies to a shower and almost pretend she made them herself. "

That answer is: Bill's wife (ex-wife, separated wife?), the Sports Gal. Where is she?

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Minnesota Vikings!)

The first 10 times he wrote "Ladies and gentlemen, (person/team that is not good)" it was mildly amusing. The next 500 times he did it, not funny at all and mildly annoying. It has to the point where you know when Bill is going to type this phrase. He always has an email/text from someone complaining about their team and how hopeless it all is, followed by Bill typing, "Ladies and gentlemen, (fill in blank)"

On the other hand, we keep getting mad at Buck for refusing to get excited about anything --

What's this "we" shit? Do you have a squirrel in your pocket you share your thoughts with at times? I don't care if an announcer gets excited about something, Bill is the one that needs the announcer to yell the play by play call at him like the most amazing thing in the world has ever happened.

I wanted my Sunday play-by-play guy to be as brutally hung over as I was.

I have always wanted my play-by-play guy to be competent, call the players by their correct names, not say anything stupid, and I don't really care if I viewed him as like me. Bill wants everyone to seem like him.

On a related note, Thom Brenneman was very impressed with Tim Tebow wasn't he? He said something to the tune of spending five minutes in a room with him would change your life. Maybe an overstatement?

After studying it from every angle, I locked in on Arizona and Baltimore (my favorite of the four) and already liked Indy; because the Philly-Minny game was a crapshoot, that meant Minnesota had to be the fourth pick. What I should have done: Take Arizona, Indy, Baltimore and Philly and aim for 3-1. But I was trying to be a hero -- in this case, finish 4-0 -- and inadvertently broke Rule 14 of the Playoff Manifesto, which specifically says, "Don't try to be a hero, just try to make money." Call it a lesson learned. By my wallet.

I think there is a 37.6% chance that Bill is a degenerate gambler. The sad part is that he doesn't appear to be too successful at it. I thought the one thing he would not do is bet on Tavaris Jackson and he just happened to do exactly that.

You might remember my writing a joke about Phil Rivers dropping F-bombs last week. Angry e-mails came in from the moment that column posted -- apparently Rivers is a devoutly religious man who takes pride in not swearing. Um, how would I know this again? I'm the same guy who had no idea Larry Fitzgerald's father was a sportswriter until last weekend. I learn things all the time. That's what happens when you follow sports; you can't possibly know everything.

I agree that Bill can not possibly know everything about every sports star in the world at all times. I don't know how you follow sports though and just find out Larry Fitzgerald's dad was a sportswriter. Where the hell was Bill's head when Fitzgerald got drafted and we were treated to 100 mentions that he played catch with Cris Carter and the other Vikings when he was younger?

Irresponsible journalism? Who said I was a journalist? I just advised Joe Buck to become a drunk a few paragraphs ago!

This is apparently Bill's response to those that accuse him of saying things that are wrong in his columns. He pleads ignorance. Do you know who said you were a journalist? The big ESPN that is above every single one of your columns and the fact you get paid tons of money to talk about sports. You also write words on a piece of paper to get published. That seems to indicate that you are a journalist of some type.

I am not mentioning this as an apology -- seriously, I would never, ever, ever, ever apologize for something this dumb. And really, part of the problem with this country right now is that anyone with a forum kowtows in situations like this instead of sticking up for free speech and the right to make a f---ing harmless joke from time to time

I think another problem with this country right now is that many journalists are using their columns and other forums they have to take cheap shots at other people (I am talking about Jerry Remy, Dane Cook, and to a lesser extent John Hollinger...I am also talking about emailing Deadspin or the Big Lead anytime ESPN hurts your little feelings or even starting your own blog with passive-aggressive statements and pictures that describe how you are "feeling.") rather than just suck it up and push out a decent column.

By the way, I wonder if sticking up for "free speech" includes allowing comments on your articles/columns? I guess not...

Simmonsologists know that Bill is a chicken shit and uses his columns to make a point but allows no feedback from others. He can do this because he is a journalist who works for ESPN.

Our country's single dumbest rule is the speed limit on highways. Modern cars drive much faster and more efficiently than cars built in 1955 or even 1975. For instance, I was flicking channels two nights ago and stumbled across a scene in "Love Story" when Ryan O'Neal and his girlfriend were driving through Boston -- it's mesmerizing because you see what Boston looked like 40 years ago, pre-Big Dig and pre-everything -- and O'Neal's convertible was shaking and shimmying even though they weren't going faster than 45. Now that's why we had a speed limit! Nowadays, many cars can hum along at 90 when you think you're going 60. So I agree with Carolla -- we should move the highway speed limit to 65, and all tickets should be dispersed based on a car-by-car basis. If you're clocked doing 80 in a BMW M3, guess what … that's like doing 30 in a 1984 Ford Escort. Why don't we change the rules? Because we're dumb and lazy.

Oh yeah, Bill is not an elitist asshole at all, he just wants different speed limits for different cars. I hate to ruin he and Carolla's great thought here but the real reason the speed limits are what they are is for safety reasons, it has nothing to do with how fast the cars can go. Maybe this is one of those things Bill doesn't know and will not apologize for not knowing, but a shitty car going 90 and a nice car going 90 actually hit another car at the same speed. Crazy how physics work isn't it? Basically just because you probably have a some huge ass SUV and feel like you should be able to do whatever the hell you want because you drive a tank and can't get hurt, there is someone who would be killed by a car going 90 no matter how modern/nice that car is.

We don't change the rules because it is dangerous to increase the speed limit.

The overtime solution is so simple that I'll confine it to three sentences. If the team that wins the toss marches down the field and scores a touchdown, it wins the game.

Great idea! So nothing changes, that was simple.

If the first team kicks a successful field goal, the other team gets one possession as well … and if it scores a field goal, we move into "sudden death" from that point on.

You are losing points here. Why does the team have to get a touchdown or else the other team gets the ball? I hope realizes this would not fix the Colts game from last week that everyone is bitching about. Yet again, these brilliant ideas always end with it going to the exact same fucking system we have now, the sudden death overtime. I am still confused as to why a field goal can't win a game and a touchdown can. Why differentiate between the two?

In that same situation, if an opening field goal is followed by a touchdown from the team that lost the toss, the second team wins.

That part makes sense. This is simple, yet not effective. Brilliant.

anyone who says breathlessly, "Ed Reed is a football player!" like he's the first person who thought of this

Please, please, please say this is a shot at Peter King. I really doubt it, but he did have a whole feature this week about him...so maybe?

I have two issues with the Ravens and only two: They looked a little too good this past week in a nice matchup against Miami (dropping this line to 3, and yes, this violates Rule No. 2D of the Playoff Manifesto);

Don't you hate it when a team just looks too good in the playoffs? I prefer a team to struggle the entire game and never really dominate an opponent, that is much more preferable. Also, please stop with the Playoff Manifesto. You are stupid.

The Pick: Panthers 37, Cardinals 14.

Oh God.

And really, is Pittsburgh's offense any different from Indy's offense? The Steelers struggle running the ball and don't have a ton of long drives. Same thing, right?

Oh no, they are exactly the same. When I think of Peyton Manning, I think of Ben Roethlisberger. When I think of Steelers football, I think of running the ball effectively and trying to control the clock. When I think of Colts offensive football I think of running the ball and managing the clock, wait that's wrong, I don't think of that at all.

"Ben" makes me nervous in this one. And nervous in general. Should teams really be throwing guys out there after a third concussion? I suffered a bad one when I was 16; even two-plus decades later, I can bump my head and feel weird for the rest of the day. You're just never the same. Nobody can tell me differently. I don't trust "Ben" in this game. At all.

I think one other factor Bill needs to think about is that he very well could be a pussy and "Ben" is not.

This column is very interesting, so the Patriots don't make the playoffs and Bill Simmons all of a sudden puts up a fairly readable and decent column. Just another reason to cheer against the Pats.

0 comments Joey, Joey!

I have officially visited the bleachers at Yankee Stadium to see the Yankees, my 29th favorite team in MLB, and the Royals play, who I could care less about. Despite all the odds against it, I actually enjoyed the game. Here are my highlights from the beginning of the walk in to the end of the game:

-As we walked to the stadium I was asked if I had my wallet in my back pocket, which I already did. Apparently picking people's pocket is popular in New York. Welcome to the Bronx!

-As you enter the stadium you see concessions and notice a stench that could potentially be described as the worst smell in the history of the world. Imagine a sweaty, non deodorant wearing man passing gas beside a skunk and then multiply it by ten. This was the concession area, where you are supposed to order food, so I got a Nathan's hot dog and began the ascent to my seat in Section 42 with the Bleacher Creatures.

-If anyone has ever been to Yankee Stadium, your first thought at the majesty of it was probably the same as mine...God, this is small, it looks a lot bigger on television and in my nightmares. Then you imagine Jeffrey Maier catching Derek Jeter's homerun in 1996 and all of the other historic things that have happened and it seemed really disconcerting they happened in the same ball park I was standing in considering how small the stadium felt to me. If this is the House Ruth Built, it must have been before he weighed a solid 250 pounds or else he would not have fit in the stadium. Ok, maybe not that small but still...

-The weather. It was sunny, no cloud in the sky and absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately it was also 108 degrees and not windy in the least bit. I began perspiring at the entrance to the tunnel and did not stop until I had gotten in the shower 5 hours later. Brutal, brutal weather. Also, you never really think about how slow Andy Pettitte works until he takes a half hour between pitches, then people look at you when you yell, "just pitch the ball!" By the way, he gave up 10 earned runs because Joe Girardi comes from the same school as Bobby Cox and have taken the class called, "Excessive amounts of wildness and 100+ pitches is not cause for taking a pitcher out of the game." By the way, it was 108 degrees but Pettitte still came out for the 7th inning after giving up 6 runs. The public address announcer made periodic announcements that free water was available to keep everyone hydrated. Of course that all ran out in the 5th inning and all that was left was $4.50 bottled water. I bought three. I guess A Rod has to get paid somehow.
-Derek Jeter. Yankee fans love this man. Here is what he did during the game 0-4, one error, and thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double. That was the highlight of his day other than the .276 average, 3 HR and 29 RBI's. Let's just say I came away less than impressed with him and even less impressed by the fact he is described as such a smart baserunner by every announcer and still felt the need to test Jose Guillen's arm. That did not work out well for him.

-Alex Rodriguez. He hit a massive 2 run homerun in the 7th inning to put the Yankees within two runs, and they eventually won, but his fan support was lackluster to say the least. A Rod jerseys should sell out every other jersey 2-1 but he had about as many jerseys as Joba Chamberlain did. I would buy a jersey simply because they are stuck with him for the next 10 years. I also called the homerun and no one was sufficiently impressed by this. I told my lady of long term committment A Rod was going deep in this at bat and he did. You would think she would be impressed by my abilities enough to tell everyone, but she just sat there and acknowledged she thinks I am smart. Not good enough, everyone else needs to know it too.

-Bleacher Creatures. That is what they call themselves. Basically they should be called the real baseball fans who don't have enough money to get really good seats. I did notice some odd things about them though:

First, they chant every player's name on the Yankees team once they take the field in the first inning. Only after the player acknowledges the fan's support do they stop. It is actually pretty cool, so I enjoyed that. They don't do it for the first baseman, the pitcher and the catcher, so I wonder why?

Second, they love Derek Jeter.

Third, someone guy who looked like he was an extra in any movie that has ever taken place in New York (whatever that means) chanted for a two inning span, "Joey, Joey", followed by an insult of some type like, "you are going to be chasing baseballs all day." I am all for heckling but I am not sure in an OF containing Jose Guillen, Joey Gaithwright is the top priority for the heckling faithful. This made me lose respect for this man, simply because Jose Guillen is an admitted steroid user and should be an easy target. Maybe they are too afraid to taunt for fear Jason Giambi may hear and think about what he may or may not have done, I don't know.

Fourth and lastly, they were not quite as mean as I had given them credit for. I was wearing my favorite team's hat the entire day and there were three Boston Red Sox shirts that I saw. I was not accosted with insults and the Red Sox fan was neither. I was a little disappointed because I expected to have to defend myself a little. I guess it was too hot.

-A lady was wearing a Roger Clemens jersey with the number 12 on it. I tried for an hour and never got why she was wearing a Clemens jersey that did not have his correct number on the back.

-Pulling Joba Chamberlain into the starting rotation has caused some great concern among the Yankee fans concerning late inning relief. The guy in front of me had a shirt that said, "Anybody but Farnsworth," but he being compared to the other shit they have, he seems like a decent option.

-Don't go in the toilets at Yankee Stadium and expect to sit down if you are a girl. If you are a girl and you are reading this sentence, I would be extremely shocked as well. I have one reader and from all appearances it is a guy.

-For some reason, the phrase "Got Melky?" really grosses me out.

-I could not recognize any of the Yankee's players introduction music and this pissed me off.

-I saw the new Yankees Stadium 100 feet from the old one, which is the one I was currently in. This brought up the question of how the hell were they going to tear the old one down? They usually blast stadiums since that takes all of five seconds and I was told they were going to tear it down with workers. This is stupid. Along with the traffic near the George Washington Bridge, which goes one lane, two lanes, back to one lane, this makes me lose a little respect for the city planners.

-I would like to back when the temperature is 30 degrees cooler.