Showing posts with label being a hater. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being a hater. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

4 comments MMQB Review: Observations From Preseason Games That Mean Nothing But Take Them Seriously Please Edition

Peter King talked about Cris Carter's "fall guy" comment in last week's MMQB. He also (again) apologized for having poor sources (again) who lied to him or gave him bad information (again). But hey, keep apologizing and saying the readers deserve better. I'm sure that will fix the sourcing issue. Peter also talked about enjoying a delicious salad, then downed a few high calorie drinks from Starbucks. This week Peter talks more about deflated footballs, makes observations of every preseason game that he claims don't really matter (his observations are not good), says that he is totally going to publish the fan essays he asked for two months ago, and wants "people" to act and do something about a gun control conversation. I'm pretty sure Congress has more of an impact in whether this conversation occurs than "people" do. I don't even know the point of a national conversation if Congress doesn't care to do anything, but as always, I'm sure "people" need to do something.

Lots of football stories in the NFL this morning, 10 days from the opener. The Eagles, and Sam Bradford, are out of control

Oh no, this sounds horrible.

—in a good way. (Composite first-quarter preseason score: Philadelphia 52, Foes 3.)

YOU GOT ME AGAIN PETER WITH THAT DRAMATIC PAUSE!

NaVorro Bowman plays like J.J. Watt will have competition for Defensive Player of the Year

Who needs an editor when you are Peter King?

Bill Belichick will coach at least eight more years—his words, not mine

Oh, those are Bill Belichick's words? I was confused because I thought Peter King was forcing Bill Belichick to coach at least eight more years, so it's good to know Belichick will do this voluntarily. Glad it's all cleared up.

Drew Brees walks two miles home from practice, lugging his helmet and shoulder pads, through the adopted city he loves, at a time the adopted city really needs it. 

The city NEEDS him to walk through the city after practice. Hey, it's the reward they get for offering him the most guaranteed money a chance to join a city he chose because he knew he would love it so much.

I’m no Fandango or Rotten Tomatoes, and certainly no Hollywood Reporterbut I’ll get involved in some movie business today. Here, we’ll debut the trailer for a movie the NFL is not going to like. (I don’t mean The Curious Case of Thomas Brady either.)

(crickets)

We start, though, with the Nightmare That Will Not Go Away,

It won't go away because sportswriters like you keep writing about it week after week after week after week. How can you expect it to go away when you won't stop talking about it?

coming for the third time to a New York courtroom, forcing Super Bowl MVP quarterback Tom Brady to miss a third Patriots practice while he fights to avoid a four-game suspension, forcing Roger Goodell to put off governance of a distracted league for another day, forcing America to start the 2015 season with endless Deflategate news after ending the 2014 season with endless Deflategate news and having every month of the offseason sullied by endless Deflategate news, while a federal judge decides the fate of Brady’s season and the fate of Goodell’s authority. While we all decide whether to throw our shoes through our TV screens. 

THEN STOP WRITING ABOUT IT! IT'S THAT EASY!

Personally, I think Brady should skate. For now.

But it’s complicated. 

It's complicated by the fact Peter has sources he really shouldn't trust on both sides of this issue and rather than take a definite stand he will probably qualify his opinion and then state the obvious, that's it's complicated.

The best part is Peter again makes the suggestion that the NFL continue to drag out the story he is already tired of. Makes sense. Kick the can down the road a little bit, then complain how long the resolution is taking.

I’ll start at the end: If I were U.S. District Judge Richard Berman, I’d begin today’s proceedings with a question for both sides about a potential compromise:

Seeing as though the pressure in footballs has never been measured at halftime and after games before, and seeing as though no one is exactly certain how much pressure in footballs would be lost over two to four hours on cold days, and seeing as though the Patriots footballs from the AFC Championship Game lost—by the measure of one gauge—a fairly predictable amount of air pressure according to the Ted Wells Report … why can’t both sides agree to table the Brady suspension until the end of the 2015 season?

Peter is tired of this story, but he wants to keep reporting on this story for the next six months.

If the pressure in the footballs on a similarly cold days drops at the same level the pressure in the Patriots’ footballs did, then Brady will not be suspended. If the pressure in the football on similarly cold days drops much less, then Brady—who wants to play several more years—will be suspended for the first four games of 2016.

I'm trying not to laugh at this, but Peter's suggestion for a controversy he is tired of reporting on involves making sure every single time a football game is played in cold weather that the PSI of the football is measured and compared to the PSI of the football on the day of the Colts-Patriots playoff game. So rather than have Judge Berman make a decision, Peter would rather report on this story he is tired of reporting on nearly every single week of the NFL season. This is Peter's solution.

I don’t expect that to happen. I expect Berman to push both sides anew today, trying to force two sides that don’t want to compromise to somehow find a deal. 

It probably won't happen because there does need to be a decision made and complaining this is a long, drawn-out process and then having the resolution be to drag this all out more seems a bit contradictory.

Remember: Berman can suggest, and cajole, and threaten with a you’re-not-going-to-like-what-I-decide wag of the finger to both sides. But he cannot order the two sides to compromise. He has been asked to decide whether to uphold or vacate Brady’s four-game ban by Friday, so the Patriots can know who’s going to play quarterback for them six days later—Brady or neophyte Jimmy Garoppolo. 

Berman can kick the can down the road a little bit more though. Great idea!

Regardless what Berman rules this week—and no one truly knows how it will go—each side could appeal to the United State Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, also in New York. There, a three-judge panel would hear an appeal (an expedited one, most likely, if Brady playing in the opener is at stake) and rule. 

I know most people want this to all be over at this point. Even Peter King wants it to be over, which is why he thinks the NFL should agree to drag it out and check the PSI of every football that is used in a cold weather game and have some resolution on Brady's possible suspension sometime after the new year. How is making sure this story stays in the forefront of the news for the next six months a bad idea?

I can't get over Peter King not liking how long resolution has taken, while also wanting the resolution to take much longer. I can't come to terms with his solution to the problem.

Seen here on The MMQB for the first time, here's the trailer for “Concussion,” the Sony movie starring Will Smith due out on Christmas Day:

I watched “Concussion” with several staff members of The MMQB recently. It’s the story of Dr. Bennet Omalu, the Nigerian-born neuropathologist and veteran of scores of difficult autopsies. Omalu was the first doctor to ferret out the existence of specific brain trauma in football players after he did the autopsy of several deceased Steelers, among them Mike Webster. The film follows Omalu (played by Smith, with a quite good accent) as he tries to convince the football establishment that the game is hazardous to the brain. The football establishment, as we learned in “League of Denial,” has little interest in listening to Omalu.

The NFL isn't in business to listen to anyone. Roger Goodell laughs at the idea he would listen to some random neuropathologist when he has scores of his own doctors paid by the NFL who are coming up with some much different results.

I watched 16 first halves over the weekend, to see how 32 teams are faring entering cut-down time. My game-by-game observations:

Peter reminds his readers how irrelevant preseason games are until he needs to churn out some content around these games. All of a sudden, they become slightly more relevant when it's the third game of the preseason. I'll apologize in that I only watched one preseason game (and then I didn't watch too intently in the fourth quarter), so I probably have more specific commentary about Peter's comments in the New England-Carolina game since I actually watched it. But hey, his comments were super-stupid, so feel free to point out other dumb shit he said I may have missed.

The headline: NaVorro Bowman is playing out of his mind.

Last week Peter said Bowman took two hours to get ready for a game. Well, Bowman said later in the week this wasn't entirely true. Peter is even having trouble these days with people who aren't anonymous sources giving him accurate information. 

Notes: The Kubiak offense is struggling. “I’d be crazy to not do what Peyton Manning does well,” coach Gary Kubiak told me in training camp. In other words, Kubiak probably won’t call many sprint-outs for his 39-year-old quarterback. But Manning has to play better. He threw a wobbler that Niners safety Eric Reid deflected on the first series, and missed Thomas in the end zone in the second quarter, getting picked by safety Kenneth Acker

Maybe Manning is just dehydrated again and that's why he isn't playing very well. Yeah, that's the ticket. Dehydration.

Stat of the day: The Niners had three first-half first downs. Protection is a definite worry, particularly right tackle Erik Pears.

Yeah, thanks Anthony Davis. Feel free to come back to the NFL when you want. The 49ers will be waiting.

BUFFALO 36, PITTSBURGH 19

The way Vick was firing the ball around Ralph Wilson Stadium (5 of 6, 106 yards), Rex Ryan must have wished he’d signed him in the off-season. 

I'm sure Rex Ryan is so sad he didn't sign Mike Vick. Because we have never seen Vick play really well as he competes for a starting job, only to fall off once he's won the starting quarterback job. How many times are head coaches going to fall for this? Vick looks great! Give him the starting job and watch him not look as great.

NEW ENGLAND 17, CAROLINA 16.

The key for New England is depth, and versatility with that depth—so many of the defensive linemen who will make the team will be able to play inside and outside. Easley, for instance, the first-round pick from a year ago.

This last sentence is a sentence fragment that's on par with some of the worst sentence fragments I have ever written.

For Carolina, tackles Dwan Edwards and Colin Cole played big, and will have to, for Carolina.

I'm guessing Peter doesn't know that neither Edwards or Cole are the defensive tackles that will get the most snaps at that position this year. I'm pretty sure Star Lotulelei and Kawann Short will get the majority of the snaps at the defensive tackle position, seeing as they are the de facto starters. I wouldn't expect Peter know this.

Notes: Garoppolo wasn’t as sharp in Carolina as in the previous two games. He had two interceptions dropped by Panthers.

Yeah, he wasn't. Garoppolo was only 13-17 for 126 yards, 1 touchdown and a 116.3 QB rating. He has definite room for improvement on that shitty performance.

Carolina’s got a major problem with a receiver Ron Rivera really wants to make the team, undrafted Corey Brown. He dropped one sure touchdown, and another ball popped off his chest inside the New England 10-yard line with no one pressuring him.

Not a good night for either starting quarterback. Meh … 

Even with 4-5 drops of catchable balls by his receivers, Cam Newton was 17-28 for 160 yards and a touchdown throw. Peter mentions how Corey Brown dropped every pass his way from Newton, yet doesn't seem to indicate how this affected his "meh" performance. Newton's rating was 88.4 and Tom Brady had a really nice final drive at the end of the first half. It wasn't very Brady-esque, but I'm not sure what game Peter was watching if he thought Garoppolo wasn't sharp and Newton didn't have a good night.

PHILADELPHIA 39, GREEN BAY 26

I clocked how fast Bradford ran the offense on the second series. After the first play, a run, he took successive snaps with 24, 22, 23, 24, 14 and 22 seconds left on the play clock. That is precisely how Chip Kelly wants to play, and for Bradford to have picked that up this fast, coming off ACL tears in two straight seasons, is damn impressive.

Everything Sam Bradford knows he learned from Jeff Fisher.

MIAMI 13, ATLANTA 9

If it’s possible to go 15 of 19 and have a “meh” day, Ryan Tannehill did.

Peter King is all about quarterbacks having "meh" days. I would say 15-19 for 145 yards, 116 QB rating and a touchdown in a half of work isn't exactly a "meh" day. I think a lot of NFL teams would like to see their starters do that. Peter has described three quarterbacks who had a total of 19 incompletions, 3 touchdown passes, 0 interceptions and no QB rating below 88.4 over three halves of football as being "meh."

Stat of the day: Josh Freeman sighting! He hit four of five for 35 yards in relief for Miami.

I don't understand why Peter King hates Josh Freeman so much. I'm not sure I will ever understand. Matt Schaub steals money from the Raiders and is now a backup in Baltimore, yet Peter lets him off the hook entirely.

WASHINGTON 31, BALTIMORE 13

Cousins finished 20 of 27, and he played well. But there’s a reason his trade value has plummeted around the league. I’m not sold by one impressive preseason show.

Cousins' performance was "impressive" and he played well. He had a 190 yards passing, 1 touchdown, 1 interception and a 90.0 rating. I don't think Peter is the best at evaluating how quarterbacks have performed. If Cousins had completed two fewer passes or maybe not thrown an interception, I'm guessing Peter would describe the performance as "meh."

Injuries: The status of Robert Griffin III is … no one knows. He said he felt fine last week, but an independent neurologist held him out of the game. Then ESPN reported the team had decided already to play Cousins in the first game of the regular season, against Miami, which the team denied.

They denied it, then named Cousins the starter for the entire 2015 season. Of course.

NEW YORK JETS 28, NEW YORK GIANTS 18

Fitzpatrick looked in unison with Eric Decker and Brandon Marshall and showed that when he’s not under pressure he can make the throws he needs to make to win. He was just nine of 14 for 127 yards, with two touchdowns and no picks.

Meh.

Injuries: The lingering calf issue that has prevented Victor Cruz from playing in preseason games isn’t going away.

Hence why Peter himself called the calf injury "lingering." It couldn't be lingering if it went away could it?

INDIANAPOLIS 24, ST. LOUIS 14

The headline: A good day for Andrew Luck—and you won’t see it reflected in his numbers.

Andrew Luck could never be "meh." His line looked bad, but his greatness can't be contained in simple numbers, so you have to be the brave soul who looks past the numbers at Luck's greatness.

Nick Foles was 10 of 11 at St. Louis, better-looking than Luck’s 12 of 21. And Luck fumbled on the first snap of the second half, leading to a Rams' score. But Luck wasn’t sacked, and by my count, he was pressured significantly only three times in his two quarters and a play.

But despite not being sacked, not facing significant pressure but three times and committing a turnover, Luck's greatness still shone through to Peter. Not like that asshole Jimmy Garoppolo, who didn't commit a turnover and only threw four incompletions. He wasn't sharp.

Now, that doesn’t mean the line—which has been a question mark almost from the day Luck was drafted—is in great shape; Indy ran for just 2.0 yards per attempt. But keeping the franchise clean is where it starts and ends for that group.

Ohhhhhh...so it's a good day for Andrew Luck because he wasn't sacked and didn't get injured? Apparently most other NFL teams can afford to have their starting quarterback get injured, because wouldn't any preseason game where the starting quarterback didn't get injured be described as "a good day" for that quarterback?

Adam Vinatieri, 42, will be kicking field goals when he’s 72.

Well, I guess Vinatieri doesn't have the option of deciding when he's retiring like Peter gave to Bill Belichick. Vinatieri will be kicking in the NFL for the next 30 years, as decreed by Peter King. 

Jeff Fisher is ticked off at the Rams’ 29 penalties in three preseason games. As well he should be.

Look, the lack of discipline isn't Jeff Fisher's fault. He can only do so much with this group that he had someone else throw together for him. He's gotta get some more time to turn this thing around. Maybe give him a contract extension and see what happens from there.

CLEVELAND 31, TAMPA BAY 7

The headline: The Ray Rice Watch is officially on in Cleveland. The fit’s a good one. Rice is desperate for one more NFL chance. His former position coach in Baltimore, Wilbert Montgomery, is the Browns’ running backs coach and a mentor to Rice. You can be pretty darn sure Rice wouldn’t screw up this opportunity. If I’m Cleveland I’m taking the week’s worth of bad publicity and bringing in a player who will show a strangely entitled back, Terrance West, what football hunger is like.

Ray Rice will show West what it's like to be hungry for an opportunity. If West acts entitled and isn't hungry enough, then Ray Rice is just the guy to knock him around a little and drag him to where he needs to be. If West doesn't understand at that point, well, he needs to just examine his own actions and the part they played in his situation.

Stat of the day: Jameis Winston: 48.9 percent completions, no touchdowns, two picks in three games. Work very much in progress.

Now, THAT is a "meh" line. It's also the line of a rookie and the preseason doesn't really matter much anyway, so there are no conclusions to be drawn.

KANSAS CITY 34, TENNESSEE 10

Notes: Amazing to see the highest-paid guard in the game just two years ago, Andy Levitre, being phased out by Tennessee. Byron Bell moved from right tackle to left guard to replace Levitre, while rookie third-rounder Jeremiah Poutasi moved outside to right tackle and played mostly well against the Chiefs’ excellent edge rush … 

Yes, Titans fans, keep counting on Byron Bell. That's a good way to get Marcus Mariota killed. But remember, nothing is ever Bell's fault and if you think he's not good at his job then you are just being a hater.

MINNESOTA 28, DALLAS 14

Notes: Don’t imagine defensive boss Rod Marinelli would have been a very happy breaking down the tape from this game. The Vikings completed 24 of 27 passes, with just one pick and two sacks … Mike Zimmer, correctly, was excited about Teddy Bridgewater’s seven-of-seven night, and not just because of the numbers. You can see Bridgewater processing his progressions with patience …

But...but...Bridgewater has small hands. Plus, he did have one bad workout that caused Mike Mayock to move him down in his rankings as the best quarterback in the draft to being tied as the fifth-best quarterback in the draft. Not that Mike Mayock just randomly makes his rankings up or anything. It must have been a horrible workout.

SEATTLE 16, SAN DIEGO 15

The headline: Repeat after me, Seahawkers: Preseason doesn’t count … Preseason doesn’t count. Russell Wilson has led 12 offensive drives in three practice games. Zero touchdowns. Good for Pete Carroll for admitting Saturday night: “We’re all a little frustrated with it.” Six catches, 75 yards for Jimmy Graham—that could be better. But I’ll make this point in defense of the Seahawks for now: They’ve faced three of the best pass-rush teams in football (Denver, K.C., San Diego) so far. You have to remember that over the last 11 seasons, heading into this one, New England has the best record in football in the regular season and was only 20-24 in the preseason.

Peter King: "Here are my observations based on the third preseason game that means the most of any preseason game. I'll spend 40-50% of MMQB on these observations and conclusions I've come to for each team."

Peter King when the Seahawks struggle on offense in the preseason: "It's just the preseason. It may mean absolutely nothing at all. Plus, the Seahawks faced some really good teams in the preseason, but don't mention the fact these teams didn't play their best players for the majority of the game. That needs to be irrelevant. Hey, the Patriots aren't good in the preseason and they are a great team in the regular season. So really, the preseason means nothing. Now here are more of my observations and conclusions about the preseason that I want you to take seriously, even though I just pointed out results in the preseason probably don't mean much."

Second-round Seattle defensive end Frank Clark, the controversial pick after being kicked off his Michigan team under a cloud of domestic violence, ticked off the Chargers with what two of their linemen said was extra physicality against Philip Rivers at the bottom of a pile in the first half of the game …

Again, this last sentence doesn't make sense at all. Peter's editor seems to have dropped the ball twice in the initial posting of this MMQB. Also, it's interesting that Peter meant to say Clark was "extra physical" against Philip Rivers immediately after mentioning Clark was kicked off the Michigan team due to a domestic violence accusation. It seems he's just extra physical throughout his life.

Peter should ask Frank Clark if he's ever killed anybody.

In July, looking for candidates for the fan network that The MMQB is launching this season, I asked readers to send in a short essay on why you love the team you do. We were overwhelmed by the number of responses—and by the nature of the submissions. Your stories were poignant, powerful, pained and funny. We heard from fans all over the country and all over the world, men and women of all ages, who told us about their passion for the team they grew up with, or adopted, or came to love in some crazy way. Because of the quantity and quality of responses, we’ve rethought our approach to the project.

The new approach is that you will just keep talking about the project and how great the submissions are rather than ever publishing the responses you received?

The new plan: We’re organizing the submissions we’ve received and grouping them by team allegiances. As we plan stories throughout the 2015 season and beyond, we’ll draw from that pool based on our contributors’ backgrounds.

We might ask a single contributor to write a story on a particular topic; we might call on a group of fans of one team to participate in a roundtable, or fans of various teams to debate league issues. Contributors might be asked to share photos or videos from their NFL experiences.

We might ask a single contributor to write a story on a particular topic; we might call on a group of fans of one team to participate in a roundtable, or fans of various teams to debate league issues. Contributors might be asked to share photos or videos from their NFL experiences.

No one is covering the NFL through the eyes of fans, other than Twitter, Facebook, and talk radio. Other than those mediums, the average fan has nearly no voice or way to share their opinion in a public fashion.

“Leave Tom Brady alone! He is a champion and a winner. Leave him alone.”

—Donald Trump, a fund-raiser in Norwood, Mass., Friday night, according to the Boston Globe.

Well, no one can accuse Donald Trump of not knowing how to play to a crowd.

This is low-hanging fruit, and I do not mean to bum out fans of the Browns this morning.

Repeat after me...and now Peter will bum out fans of the Browns this morning.

In April 2011—two coaches and two general managers ago—the Browns traded the sixth pick in the draft to Atlanta for two first-round picks, a second-round pick and two fourth-round picks. Atlanta picked wide receiver Julio Jones, who caught 104 passes for 1,593 yards last year, and earned a five-year, $72-million contract extension Saturday with the Falcons.

From the five picks in that trade, there is one player left on the Browns: backup defensive tackle Phil Taylor (who played 11 snaps as a backup Saturday night in Tampa). Cleveland drafted Danny Shelton in the first round this year, and Shelton has made Taylor, riddled by injury and unimpactful as a Brown, obsolete.

Then Peter points out the Browns traded up to get Phil Taylor in the 2011 draft and gave up the 70th draft in addition to the 27th pick to move up to the 21st pick. That 70th pick turned into Justin Houston.

With the 70th pick in the 2011 draft, Chiefs GM Scott Pioli chose Georgia linebacker Justin Houston.

Houston led the NFL with 22 sacks last year.

Here is the issue though: The assumption is the Browns could have had Justin Houston and Julio Jones, but this is assuming the Browns were smart enough to draft these two players. Did the Browns under Tom Heckert show the ability to recognize talent like Jones and Houston? I would argue they did not show this ability to be smart enough to draft these guys anyway. I can't assume the Browns were smart enough to draft Houston and Jones, even without making a trade, when they couldn't get any of the other five picks in that trade to make an impact on the team.

Of course, Peter called Taylor "the best nose man in the draft" and said he was a fit in a 3-4 or 4-3 defense, so I guess the Browns had the same foresight that Peter did.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

One more reason why living in Manhattan, and exercising there occasionally, is so good.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Peter has never mentioned exercising and living in Manhattan is so good before. This is completely out of left field that Peter would dare mention he enjoys exercising in Manhattan. He's never talked about this before, unless you want to count how mentions how he loves exercising in Manhattan in MMQB as much as possible. In fact, Peter of late has LOVED just talking about how much he exercises. He's the guy on Facebook who just started exercising and can't wait to tell everyone how much he does it and wants to humblebrag about his accomplishments.

On Saturday morning about 7:50, I entered Central Park to run the perimeter, which I do many weekends.

Peter has never talked about running in Central Park before. This is too much new information being thrown at me in such a short span of time.

One other note to depress you weekend runners (and me too): As I passed the marker for mile one on the road through Central Park, the first group of runners was just passing. The electronic time read “4:42.” And six or eight guys to my left sprinted past, not even breathing hard.

Please tell me more about your exercise regimen. I wonder if Peter has been featured in any running magazines lately? I need to know this information. Thousands of people exercise and don't feel the need to tell everyone else about it. It's almost like they do it for their own purposes and don't require the attention of others to feel good about exercising.

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think it’s always a highlight of the summer when the Football Outsiders Almanac lands in the mail, or the inbox, with previews on every team, and much more. You’re always a smarter football fan (or media member) when you read the annual Aaron Schatz-edited tome. Some highlights to educate you:

d. The average NFL quarterback throws his average third-down pass 1.4 yards past the sticks. Since 2011, Alex Smith has thrown his average third-down pass 1.7 yards SHORT of the sticks. He's the only quarterback with at least 300 attempts on third downs since 2011 whose average throw is short of the sticks.

Having Alex Smith as your quarterback is like eating at Panera Bread. It's more expensive than you would like, but you never really have a bad time, yet you constantly get the feeling you could spend that money somewhere else. Still, it's good enough to enjoy, but you always aren't totally satisfied with what you got. It's too expensive for what you get, but sometimes there just isn't a better option available. That's Alex Smith.

e. Want to affect Peyton Manning? Blitz him from the secondary. Manning struggled against defensive-back blitzes even though Denver opponents almost never used this strategy. Manning faced DB blitzes on just 6.8 percent of passes—only Matthew Stafford faced them less often—but had just 5.7 yards per pass on these plays.

Maybe Manning struggled on these plays because he wasn't blitzed from the secondary often, so it took him by surprise. Perhaps if NFL teams start blitzing Manning from the secondary more often then he will start to expect it and be more successful against blitzes against this strategy. Sometimes things work at the rate they do work because they aren't used often, and if they were used more often, the success rate would fall.

h. San Diego used play-action on just 8.0 percent of plays, the lowest figure of any team in FO’s game-charting data since the 2008 Arizona Cardinals. Yet when they did use play-action, the Chargers had a league-high 9.6 yards per pass.

The exact same principle could apply here. It's possible the Chargers used play-action so little that when they did use it, then it was highly successful due to opposing teams who study film seeing their tendency to not use play-action often.

3. I think if I were Jay Gruden, I’d be starting Colt McCoy, not Kirk Cousins, right now.

Peter King is not Jay Gruden. If Peter's name was Peter Gruden, then perhaps he could be like Jay Gruden and get an NFL head coaching job because teams are enamored with his last name.

4. I think I’m a Bill O’Brien believer, at least in how he handles the team, after watching “Hard Knocks” the other night. Last week was the first chance I’ve gotten to see the series this summer—this just in: J.J. Watt’s intense—and the last bit of the show was O’Brien telling his quarterback room (Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett, Tom Savage) who’d won the quarterback competition between Hoyer and Mallett. This was 100 seconds of decision-making and good communication, not overly dramatic but decisive, telling each player exactly where he stands. I liked it. 

O'Brien handles his team and communicated so well to his team that Ryan Mallett shut down after not being named starter and did not attend practice. It's not O'Brien's fault that Mallett acted like a baby when he wasn't named starter, but I find it interesting the very decision that Peter credits as "good communication" and an example of how well Bill O'Brien handles his team is the decision that so far has caused the most discord among the members of the team who were told the decision. Great timing, Peter.

5. I think, by the way, that was brilliant cinematography to close the show in a very “Sopranos” kind of way. O’Brien walks from the room, closes the door, then is shown walking down a hallway in the Texans offices, clearing his throat, walking, walking, opening another door, walking, having the door close … and fade to black. End of show. Very, very cool.

This should be a part of topic #4 since Peter isn't switching topics, but instead has another thought about topic #4. So the brilliant cinematography should be a part of the same topic that Peter discussed where Peter discusses how O'Brien told the quarterbacks who the starter was going to be.

Here's the funny part though...

a. ... Here's a spoiler for this week's episode: Cornerback Charles James—who has been doubling as a Texans running back in camp—plays Odell Beckham Jr., in “Madden ’15.” That's cover man Odell Beckham Jr.

Peter puts a thought that is about "Hard Knocks" but not at all about the person or subject of topic #5 as "a" to topic #5. So talking about how great Bill O'Brien communicated to his quarterbacks about who the starter is and then commenting on the cinematography being great as O'Brien walked down the hall after he broke this news to his quarterbacks are two separate topics. Great cinematography and which two NFL players participate against each other in "Madden '15" are part of the same topic #5 though. Obviously.

6. I think if you read this column last week, you read a pensive John Elway feeling bad about cutting Peyton Manning’s base salary from $19 million to $15 million this year, and putting the $4 million into incentives, and then Elway saying he hoped Manning understood that he was going to use the money to make the team as solid a Super Bowl contender as possible. So … the Broncos signed a Pro Bowl guard, Evan Mathis, for $2.5 million this year, with an extra $1.5 in incentives. So if Mathis plays 16 games and plays at least 85 percent of the snaps—and if both happen, the Broncos will certainly be getting their $4 million worth—

There you go. The math adds up.

My gut feeling is Manning is still stung by taking a pay cut he did not deserve. But at least he knows the money went to some good use. 

That's very unselfish of Peyton Manning to make a decision to cut his salary for the benefit of the team and then stew over it for a few months. Though it wouldn't shock me if Peter's gut feeling is wrong. If Peter's gut feeling is as accurate as his sources are, then Manning is probably thrilled he took a pay cut.

The Eagles don’t play at home when the Phillies are playing across the street, so that eliminated Weeks 1 and 4 of the NFL season. And the Archdiocese of Philadelphia requested the Eagles not be at home in Week 3 either. On that Sunday, Sept. 27, from 4 to 6:30 p.m. outside the Philadelphia Art Museum, some 2 million are expected to participate in a mass celebrated by Pope Francis. “The Pope did influence the NFL schedule,” NFL senior vice president of broadcasting Howard Katz told me back in April, on the night of the schedule release.

Roger Goodell was probably pissed that the Pope influenced the NFL schedule. The Pope speaks to God, but Roger Goodell is above God in the universe's pecking order. So it would have been nice if the Pope could have spoken to God and then had both of them defer to Goodell's wishes. Show some respect.

I just thought of this: The Eagles play the Jets at 1 p.m. on the 27th. Team buses will leave the Meadowlands about 5:15 p.m. (best guess) for the 85-minute drive (normally) back to Philadelphia. Imagine driving into the teeth of 2 million people leaving the city when you’re arriving. That’ll be a fun evening for the KYW traffic reporters.

I understand Peter's point, but not every person that is coming to the mass on that Sunday will be leaving the city. Some of those people attending the mass probably live in the city. So 2 million people probably won't be leaving the city at the same time.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. I’m not advocating taking away anyone’s guns.

The exception to the rule. Usually, Peter would immediately advocate taking away guns. In this case, Peter is actually NOT advocating taking away guns. He probably wants to, but he's not advocating for it.

But in the wake of the point-blank murders on live TV in Roanoke this week, and the unprovoked and outrageous slaughter of a Harris County sheriff’s deputy while fueling his car Saturday (the 23rd killing by gun of a law-enforcement officer in the United States this year), it is inexcusable in this country if we do not have a national discussion on gun violence.

The only people who can do something about this is Congress. "We" can only do so much, but hands become tied when the legislature refuses to take this conversation and turn it into action. It's going to take something bigger, somebody more important getting killed before Congress wants to take action on the conversation "we" should be having.

I do know we’re being irresponsible if we simply roll over, throw up our hands and say there’s nothing we can do about it.

b. Act, people. Act!

There is only so much acting that can be done when "we" don't have the ability to legislate and change laws. Congress could act, but they are choosing not to. Maybe that is the will of the people...or at least Congress thinks it is.

c. Looking more and more like a Toronto-Kansas City ALCS. That’ll be fun.

Wait, why is it looking more and more like a Toronto-Kansas City ALCS? Peter does realize the MLB playoffs haven't even started yet and the "best" teams lose all the time in a short playoff series, right? If the NLCS was decided by what it looks like on paper right now would happen, then the NLCS would be St. Louis-Pittsburgh and I doubt that is how the NL playoffs will shake out.

i. Seen some bad bullpens in my life. This Red Sox bullpen. Yeesh. Arsonistas.

Try being a Braves fan and having a bullpen with an ERA of 4.63 (29th best) and not a Red Sox fan with a bullpen ERA of 4.26 (24th best). Who I am kidding though? Statistics can't measure how tortured Peter King (and probably Bill Simmons...though I don't care because I don't miss him at all) is by the Red Sox bullpen, so I'm sure the 4.26 bullpen ERA the Red Sox have is much worse than the bullpen ERA of the six teams in the majors below them in ERA. 

j. Boston trailed the Mets 2-0 entering the seventh inning Friday night. Boston’s bullpen walked eight men the rest of the way … and the Red Sox won 6-4 in 10 innings.

WHAT A TORTURED STORY! THE RED SOX GAVE UP THE GAME, BUT THEN THEY WON ANYWAY! HOW DOES PETER GO ON WITH LIFE?

Try giving up 38 runs in a three game series. It's fun.

The Adieu Haiku

Preseason ends Thurs.
The end can’t come soon enough.
Two games max, owners.


Two preseason games and the Adieu Haiku goes away forever. That would be the elimination of three totally useless and pointless things. 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

0 comments What A-Rod Has Done Wrong Today: He Showed Up Early to Spring Training

I don't really want to start writing about A-Rod more often (or more often than I already do, which is too often). It's too tempting to not start a chain of posts called "What A-Rod Has Done Wrong Today," which would basically be all the things A-Rod has no control over that he's getting blamed for or good things A-Rod has done which are being turned into bad things. I don't want to write about A-Rod more, but I like to post five times per week (which means shorter posts sometimes) and A-Rod is always good for some overreaction by the media. So a succession of posts about the things A-Rod has done wrong should go to show how insane the New York media is about A-Rod.

What A-Rod has done wrong today is that he showed up to spring training early, without telling the Yankees he was coming. It's just like A-Rod, always making his own rules. Most baseball players would publicly announce when they are coming to spring training to get extra work in, but A-Rod being the selfish asshole he is, chooses to just show the hell up and expect the media and Yankees to deal with it. A-Rod is early. No one likes it when a baseball player spends extra time trying to improve himself. It's unsightly.

With two strikes against him and little margin for error, Alex Rodriguez still managed to find a way to irritate the Yankee brass when he arrived at spring training Monday — two days earlier than expected.

TWO DAYS EARLIER THAN EXPECTED! If my employees come into work early in the morning, then I immediately slap them across the face and tell them to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE OFFICE YOU COCKGOBLIN! I EXPECTED YOU AT 8AM AND IT'S 7:45AM! WHAT KIND OF AMATEUR BULLSHIT ARE YOU PULLING?

I don't even know what I would do if an employee showed up on Saturday. The death penalty would be in play though. Nothing is more irritating than an employee who shows up and tries to do improve themselves by putting more work in. Honestly, it's a fireable offense.

Wearing a green University of Miami workout suit, Rodriguez arrived in Tampa Monday morning, which was news to the Yankees, leaving Brian Cashman and the team’s media relations staff scrambling for answers.

What answers did they need? "He's here, yes." That's pretty much all they need to say and the Yankees have made it clear to A-Rod he's on his own in terms of dealing with the media.

The Yankees, who had expected him to show up on Wednesday, had no issues with A-Rod arriving on Monday, but team officials were fuming that he hadn’t alerted them to his plans.

"No issues" means that the Yankees weren't "fuming" when A-Rod showed up. If they were fuming, that's the exact polar opposite of having no issues with when A-Rod showed up to spring training. I ain't a writer like Mark Feinsand, but I do know if I'm fuming about something then I have an issue with that something. In an effort to paint A-Rod in the wrong, all logic must be thrown out the window in favor of insanity.

“He’s learned nothing,” said one baseball executive. “He’s the same old guy. He just did what he wanted to do.”

Did the other Yankees players tell the team when they would show up or did they just show up and do whatever they wanted to do? Why should A-Rod be different?

“I cringe sometimes when I look at some of the things I did, but I paid my penalty and I’m grateful that I have another opportunity,” Rodriguez said as he stopped to speak with reporters outside the team’s minor-league complex following a one-hour workout.

The Yankees have no issue with A-Rod speaking to the media, but they fuming that he spoke with the media. The Yankees were fine with A-Rod working out for an hour, but they are absolutely flabbergasted he didn't even check the schedule to see if a little league team needed the field during the time he rudely dominated the complex during his workout.

His early arrival did offset the expected media crush on Wednesday, as roughly 20 reporters and a handful of cameras were on hand at the minor-league complex to greet A-Rod, a fraction of what had been expected on Wednesday.

And here is the real reason the media will jump all over the "A-Rod was early to spring training story" as if it is some huge fault in A-Rod's DNA to arrive earlier than expected. That reason? They didn't get a chance to be there the day A-Rod walked in and create a circus, then write dozens of columns about the circus surrounding A-Rod. He prevented the media crush and avoided putting a huge spotlight on his arrival, which obviously shows his inherent selfishness. The media has it out for him, why can't he just play along?

According to a source, Rodriguez was planning to work out at the complex, something he’s done multiple times in the past without alerting the club. Once the Yankees requested he first take his physical, he complied immediately.

It's not even the first time A-Rod has shown up early to spring training. Wow, the selfishness and refusal to play a part in the media's games of circus really dominates A-Rod's thoughts. Maybe he's too focused on combating the media and not focused enough on baseball. Look for Mike Lupica to write the column broaching this subject in the near future. 

Asked whether he thought the Yankees are on his side as camp opens, A-Rod seemed uncertain.
“I don’t know; you’d have to ask them,” he said. “I created a big headache for a lot of people, so I don’t blame whoever is mad at me. I understand.”

Wow, A-Rod is still not taking blame for what happ (changes narrative) is still uncertain exactly if the Yankees are on his side or not. Is he just dumb? Of course they aren't on his side, but it's because A-Rod doesn't realize he's created a big headache for a lot of peo showed up early to spring training. That's the ticket, that's why they are mad at him.

Rodriguez declined to answer many specific questions about his suspension, his role in the Biogenesis scandal or the apology letter he released last week. 

Still hiding. He still won't answer the questions about the scandal or whether he is even using PED's at the present time. When will A-Rod answer that question? Is he is on PED's right now? He wouldn't dare answer though.

He did answer one drug-related question, when a reporter asked him directly if he was currently using any illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

“No,” Rodriguez said firmly.

Well, I mean, he's probably lying. So who would believe A-Rod when asked this question anyway? It's a dumb question and doesn't even really need to be asked.

Asked whether he was confident he could succeed without the drugs, the three-time AL MVP replied, “I’m confident that if I stay healthy, I can do some good things.”

The fact A-Rod is 39 years old and was getting injured prior to his year-long suspension. This is probably a bigger reason his performance could decline during the 2015 season, but I'm sure the media will ignore that A-Rod is almost 40 years old and claim he can't hit 40 home runs because he's not on PED's anymore.

A-Rod’s day marked the first time he worked out under the team’s watch since his historic 162-game suspension.

How did the Yankees watch though? THEY WEREN'T PREPARED FOR HIM TO SHOW UP TO SPRING TRAINING!

Making the team was a recurring theme during his eight-minute session, something A-Rod hasn’t had to do since he was a teenager coming up with the Mariners back in the mid-1990s.

A-Rod doesn't even expect to compete for the spot I would bet. He just wants it all handed to him.

“I love to compete,” he said.

Yeah, but he only loves to compete when he's using PED's.

“I’m here a couple days early to get a jump start. I love baseball. I just love to be in uniform and I’m so grateful to have an opportunity to be back in uniform.”

The fact A-Rod loves baseball and wants to show up early in order to compete and make the team is a TERRIBLE excuse for showing up to spring training early. He should think less about helping the Yankees on the field and more about helping the Yankees by telegraphing his every move to them. He's not getting paid to play baseball well, plus the media is terrified that A-Rod will come back and play well for a 39 year old while in his teammate's good graces. It would ruin all the narratives.

Rodriguez had planned to take part in his first workout at 11 a.m. Monday, but once the Yankees learned of his plan — Cashman said he heard about A-Rod’s plan from a pair of reporters Monday morning — the team requested he first undergo his spring physical.

A-Rod reported to the ballpark at 11:30 for his checkup, then headed for the minor-league complex around 12:45. He drove a white SUV into the complex shortly before 1, carrying his bats in through a back entrance.

A-Rod not only failed to alert the Yankees to his every move, but also drove his own car to the complex and carried his own bats while selfishly trying to gain attention for himself by entering through a back entrance. WHEN WILL THIS MONSTER FINALLY BE SATIATED WITH THE LEVEL OF DAMAGE HE CAN CAUSE?

He worked out from 1:30 to 2:30, playing long toss, throwing a medicine ball, fielding grounders at third base and shortstop and taking batting practice. He took 71 swings and hit six home runs.

He field baseballs at third base. Clearly A-Rod is delusional that he is going to be the starting third baseman in complete defiance of what the Yankees have said. They have stated repeatedly the third base job is Chase Headley's, but no, A-Rod has go and practice at third base just to stay sharp in case something happens to Headley.

Rodriguez will report to camp Wednesday with the rest of the position players, while the first full-squad workout is scheduled for Thursday.

A-Rod thinks he's a position player. How cute. He's a DH! KNOW YOUR PLACE A-ROD!

The New York media will whine that A-Rod can't ever earn his $61 million that is owed to him, meanwhile will criticize A-Rod for even trying to earn this money.

He has no plans to address the team as a whole, saying he “has a lot of good relationships” with players and staff members.

“Surprisingly enough, I feel very welcome,” he said.

Well, he's not welcome and the New York media is pretty sure they speak for the rest of the Yankees when saying that. Next thing you know, A-Rod will stay after the game to get some more at-bats and try to give hitting tips to the younger players in an effort to undermine Jeff Pentland and take over the hitting coach duties for himself.

Friday, February 20, 2015

3 comments John Harper Thinks A-Rod Should Accept His Uselessness and Just Kill Himself, But Then Who Would Harper Irrationally Bash When He Has Nothing Else to Write About?

Last time we heard from John Harper he was in the throes of starting controversy where they may be none. Harper pretty much tried to ignore that Chase Headley has been given the starting third basemen job for the Yankees in that column. Perhaps Harper has come to terms with this truth, because he's now calling Alex Rodriguez delusional for trying to come back and perform at a high level. Yes, the reluctant apologist for A-Rod (that's me) has shown up again. It's just that the media reacts so strongly to him. He's stayed out of the spotlight and got criticized for having disappeared over the past year with whispers of "Is he even in playing shape?" A-Rod gets in great shape and wants to contribute, then he gets criticized for having used PED's and not understanding that he isn't wanted. Now A-Rod has goals he wants to achieve and he is being called delusional. Too much is never enough. This was written before A-Rod's written apology, so Harper was all worked up for nothing even before A-Rod apologized in letter form.

What's interesting is Derek Jeter had interest in buying a sports franchise and worked to get his new website off the ground during the 2014 season while he was an active player. He had the worst season of his career. Of course, no one would write that Jeter was distracted or these outside interests helped contribute to his poor play. Of course not. But A-Rod is being a distraction by existing and delusional for trying to set goals for himself. A-Rod is an asshole, but why not allow him to bury himself this season rather than sound overly-eager to bury him preemptively as if you have an agenda to push?

So Alex Rodriguez apologized to Yankee executives on Tuesday for going to war against the organization the last couple of years

To be fair, the Yankees organization has gone to war against A-Rod as well. I would think if John Harper's employer tried to take away millions of dollars from him and sever all ties because Harper plagiarized a column, then he would take his medicine but also be pretty pissed his employer is trying to take money from his pocket. Plus, MLB was pretty shady in how they eventually got A-Rod. They got into bed with a drug dealer and then vouched for him to the courts. This is how life works, but MLB basically helped get one of the biggest suppliers of PED's to MLB players a lighter sentence in exchange for testimony and information about A-Rod's PED activities. I would have hurt feelings too if I were A-Rod. Who cares who deals the drugs to MLB players? There's one user specifically MLB needed to get and they got him.

and you’d like to believe the reality of all his mindless behavior during that time has sunk in now and forced him to do some genuine soul-searching.

That is, you’d like to believe his apology was sincere.

Every conversation about something A-Rod has done goes this way.

"A-Rod is trying to get into playing shape and claims to be in great shape while working hard during his year-long absence. He also claims to be off PED's. Sounds good, that is if you believe he's telling the truth."

"A-Rod says he won't be a distraction this year and he's willing to do whatever the Yankees ask of him. It's a positive thing for the team, as long as you believe A-Rod's ego won't start to hurt when he's been benched three days in a row."

It's basically a copy and paste job. That's all that is required to write an A-Rod column.

But it comes on the heels of word from Barry Bonds that A-Rod recently told him he still has every intention of breaking his career home run record, which immediately makes a mockery of any notion that he is thinking rationally these days.

How dare A-Rod have goals and attempt to reach those goals! Let's mock him for doing so. Professional athletes should never attempt to continuously challenge themselves as they get older. Professional athletes should start a website or try to buy a team during their final years as a professional, then just accept their performance will be sub-par as the media makes excuses for them. That's what should happen. Sure, A-Rod probably isn't breaking Barry Bonds' home run record, but why mock him for setting this goal for himself? Isn't that what the Yankees should want from A-Rod? To continuously challenge himself and try to contribute as much as possible to the team?

Two more interesting notes:

1. If A-Rod said, "I just want to hit a few home runs and hope I can contribute in some way" then John Harper would write a column screaming, "He better contribute for how much the Yankees are paying him! Maybe he should set his sights higher, like trying to break the home run record, since that is what was expected of him prior to the revelation he is just another cheating PED user. But no, A-Rod stays away from the Yankees for a year and then comes back with modest goals. He owes them more than that."

2. Notice how John Harper constantly calls A-Rod a cheat and liar, which he is, but also gives some credence to the idea Bonds' home run record is the real MLB home run record. So if A-Rod did break Bonds' record, would he acknowledge A-Rod as having the real home run record?

Never mind that his decision to work out with Bonds, the most notorious juicer of them all, was foolish enough by itself,

How crazy to work out with one of the best baseball players of the last 20 years, PED user or not. I don't remember Harper's column about how the Yankees should keep Andy Pettitte away from other Yankees' pitchers. After all, we wouldn't want any foolish Yankees pitchers to work out with a known PED user.

I guess I forgot. Pettitte apologized and just seemed so damn contrite. So he's forgiven.

considering that A-Rod is theoretically trying to rebuild some credibility fresh off his season-long suspension for using PEDs.

The San Francisco Giants worked with Bonds in Spring Training last year. Granted, the entire Giants team didn't get caught using PED's, but I don't think working with Bonds hurt their credibility as a baseball team. It's not like Bonds is giving A-Rod tips on how to inject PED's and it's not like A-Rod would even need those tips. 

If he really thinks he can hit another 109 home runs, which is what he would need to pass Bonds’ total of 762, then A-Rod is as delusional as he was when he decided that attacking everyone in baseball was a good strategy for escaping punishment in the Biogenesis scandal.

Maybe A-Rod is delusional or maybe he is setting goals for himself in the hopes that he can reach them. Perhaps A-Rod just simply wants to try to play at a high level and he's a competitor who is motivated to play well. I still fail to see how mocking A-Rod for setting goals for himself later in his career is a real journalistic activity. 

Talk about being out of touch.

Talk about why it's a bad thing for A-Rod to set outrageous goals for himself. I think there is a fear that A-Rod may actually catch up to Bonds and then sports media members like John Harper would have to worry about A-Rod playing well while playing clean. That would just make Harper look bad and looking out for his reputation as a journalist with an agenda is priority #1. 

After all, how could A-Rod have ever believed that he could bully his way out of trouble when he knew he was guilty of PED use, as he eventually told federal agents?

He's a human who will deny he did something wrong until the very last instance he can no longer deny it. 

Finally, could he have actually been convinced that he wouldn’t have to pay for all the posturing, the lying on Mike Francesa’s radio show, or all the detestable deeds, suing the Yankees’ team doctor one day, and the Players Association the next?

Who fucking knows? Does this column have to be written 1000 times over and over again? Nobody knows why A-Rod does what he does. He's been criticized and mocked repeatedly for all of his weird quirks and transgressions. There's no need to mock or criticize him for having a goal he is competing hard to achieve. Criticizing A-Rod for being old and trying to compete at a high level is dumb. Especially coming off a season where Derek Jeter was given a daily tongue bath by the media while being one of the worst everyday regulars in the majors. 

In truth, it doesn’t really matter. He’s long past the point of earning back the public trust, never mind that of the Yankee brass.

Probably. I don't trust him, but I also don't care if I trust him. I just want to watch him slug 35 home runs this season. I want to watch the world burn. I want to read columns written about A-Rod playing well. 

That’s not what this meeting was about anyway. It’s very possible the Yankees, who had previously declined such a meeting, agreed to it primarily to avoid any future litigation should A-Rod someday try to make the case that his comeback was undermined by the ballclub.

Which given the fact the Yankees initially declined to speak with him and basically seem happy to leave him floundering in the media, while combing through his contract looking for a way to take away the $61 million owed to him, I can't say I would blame A-Rod necessarily for thinking they are undermining him. 

The Yankee execs accepted A-Rod’s apology but didn’t miss the chance to remind him there were still hard feelings, that they weren’t necessarily going to forgive and forget all the personal attacks he’d launched at people within the organization.

It seems that the only ones not willing to forgive and forget are Yankees management and the New York media. Several of A-Rod's teammates (and even non-teammates like Matt Harvey) don't seem to mind him coming back and playing for the Yankees team. 

Finally when the Rodriguez camp asked for advice on the best way to handle the media for A-Rod’s re-entry into baseball, the Yankee execs basically shrugged and told them to figure it out.

God, I hope A-Rod doesn't get litigious and think he can have a case for the Yankees undermining him. I can't see how throwing their hands in the air and saying, "Figure it out" when they KNOW there is an avalanche of questions and comments from the media being directed towards A-Rod's way that could very well distract him from contributing to the team would be undermining his comeback. Sure, A-Rod brought a lot of this on himself, but he's still a Yankees employee and the team still has to try and win games while living with A-Rod on the team. It's in the best interests of the Yankees organization and players if the circus around A-Rod is as small of a distraction as possible. So leaving A-Rod to figure out how to handle the media probably isn't the best idea (especially given that A-Rod isn't exactly as media savvy as he believes himself to be), but why would the Yankees make A-Rod's transition back any easier, which would make his teammates transition to having him back easier? If there is a circus around the team, just blame A-Rod for it. After all, he's an asshole and deserves everything he gets, even if it hurts the team. 

Let’s face it, the Yankees have made it clear they wish A-Rod would disappear. Except Steinbrenner isn’t of the mind to pay him $61 million to make that happen.

So they’re stuck with each other, and now the only question is whether the 39-year-old third baseman has anything left to offer on the field.

I'm sure A-Rod would have more to offer if he would just set his sights lower as to what goals he wants to achieve during the 2015 season. No athlete close to 40 years of age has a right to try and set goals for himself. Doesn't A-Rod know that trying to have confidence in his abilities could cause him to be mocked by the media? WHAT WILL PARENTS SAY TO THE KIDS WHEN THEY FIND OUT THE HOME RUN KING IS A CHEATER?

(Maybe the same thing parents said to their kids when Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's record)

No, A-Rod isn’t being handed a thing here. He’ll have to prove he deserves at-bats even in the DH role, and it remains to be seen if he can hit major-league pitching after a year away from the game, and theoretically without the PEDs that he has relied on seemingly forever, as we know now.

A-Rod isn't being handed anything, but damn him for realizing this and trying to perform at a high level by setting goals for himself. Because he's not being handed anything, A-Rod should just spend most of the offseason pouting so the New York media can bash him for feeling sorry for himself. 

It all makes for great drama, starting in a couple of weeks in Tampa. Tuesday was just a reminder that there is nothing A-Rod can say, to the Yankee executives or fans of the game, to make people believe he knows what the truth is anymore.

It's such great drama that the media can't wait to discuss by publishing this same article over and over again with nothing new being said. WHO WILL WIN THE YANKEES' THIRD BASE JOB? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!

He’ll always be a cheat and a liar. The only question now is if he can still hit.

And of course A-Rod is delusional for believing that he can still hit or having any confidence in his ability to contribute to the team. The media wants to judge A-Rod solely on how much he contribute to the Yankees, but laugh in his face if he sets goals to try and motivate himself to contribute.

As much as I hate A-Rod for being a cheating liar, I think it's gotten to the point I hate how the media responds to him more.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

4 comments Elite Pass Rushers are Overrated Because They Aren't as Valuable as an Elite Quarterback

There are quite a few Bleacher Report copycat sites, or sites that appear to be Bleacher Report copycats, popping up on the Interwebs. I believe I have mentioned this before. They are mostly fan-driven sites with hot take commentary and headlines used for the sole purpose of pageviews. You know the articles are written for pageviews because the number of pageviews for the article is right there for you to look at. SEE HOW POPULAR THIS COLUMN IS? THAT MEANS IT CAN'T BE SHITTY WRITING! 2000 VIEWS CAN'T BE WRONG!

So the headline on this site, which is called "NFL SpinZone" (a wonderful title by the way since it indicates there will be "spin" accompanying the hot take), is "J.J. Watt and Other Elite Pass Rushers Overrated in the NFL? The Facts Say Yes." You can't argue with pageviews and facts. Thank you to the reader who found and emailed me this hot take. Apparently this NFL SpinZone is in some way attached to FanSided, which links articles from Bleacher Report. It's all very confusing. So here is why elite pass rushers are overrated. Spoiler alert: It's because quarterbacks are more valuable. Because that makes sense. This is why knives are overrated, because a gun is a much better weapon for combat while in a vicious cock-fight.

How could elite pass rushers be overrated? Here’s how.

Here's how! This is how the author pulls a JemeHill and makes a statement that most probably don't believe is necessarily is true and disproves it.

"How could chocolate not serve as the primary source of protein for adults? Here's how."

"Do vaccinations cause spontaneous combustion? The facts say "no" and here's why."

"Are ants really aliens gathering weaponry to take over Earth? Probably not. Here's what the facts say."

Most people belief that pass rushers, whether DE or OLB, are one of the most important positions on a football team.

I mean, it's the first sentence. Can we maybe not have a grammatical error in the first sentence? I just belief that if you are going to write for a web site then you should probably do your best to make sure your very first sentence doesn't have grammatical errors. And yes, I'm sure I have grammatical errors in my writing, but I try to avoid them in the first sentence. I belief that's the way to go.

Oh, and also..."most people" believe this to be true? Is that a factual statement or just a statement the author is making in an attempt to disprove something that most people don't believe anyway? I think I know the answer I belief is the correct one.

Some people believe that an elite pass rusher can have as big, or almost as big, of an impact on an NFL game as a great quarterback can. 

Yes, and some people are Scientologists. I would put both sets of people on the same craziness level. Okay, that's not true. Scientology is WAY crazier than believing an elite pass rusher can have as big of an impact on an NFL game as a great quarterback can. You get my point though.

So far the author has told us what "most" people believe and then stated what "some" people believe. He's well on his way to disproving a belief that he in his own mind thinks "most" and "some" people have. He's totally JemeHill'ing this article all up. He's creating all sorts of beliefs people have so he can prove just how overrated pass rushers are.

It’s often thought that the best teams in the NFL feature the best pass rushers. However, the facts starkly suggest otherwise as Justin Houston and J.J. Watt have both been on their couches for weeks.

(coughs) Based on a sample size of one year.

Both Houston and Watt impressively hit the 20-sack plateau in 2014, but the Kansas City Chiefs and Houston Texans didn’t make the playoffs. The NFL’s top-5 pass rushers in 2014, as far as sacks recorded, were Elivs Dumervil (17 sacks), Connor Barwin (14.5), and Mario Williams (14.5). Between those five players (including Houston and Watt) only Dumervil’s Ravens made the playoffs.

Although there is no correlation between their great play and their team’s ultimate success.

Right, because they are a member of a team and the entire team has to play well in order for that team to win. The quarterback position is the most important position in football and I don't take seriously those "some" people who think an elite pass rusher is on par with an elite quarterback. So the author is disproving something that informed people probably wouldn't believe. Also, who is "Elivs Dumervil?" Is he Elvis Dumervil's evil twin? I bet Elivs Dumervil has a goatee.

That begged the question, “How much of an impact do elite pass rushers really have on an NFL team’s success?”

Get ready for the author to prove elite pass rushers aren't as important as an elite quarterback. I know this may come as a shock, since this is probably something most people already knew. The bottom line is an elite pass rusher is great to have, but there has to be a great defense around that elite pass rusher. Football is a team sport.

Fact #1:

As stated above, only one of the NFL’s top five sack leaders led their teams to the playoffs.

Fact.

Fact #1 from me:

In 2013, three of the NFL's top five sack leaders led their teams to the playoffs.

In 2012, four of the NFL's top five sack leaders led their teams to the playoffs. 

In 2011, two of the NFL's top five sack leaders led their teams to the playoffs. Jason Pierre-Paul was one of these players and his team won the Super Bowl.

In 2010, three of the NFL's top five sack leaders led their teams to the playoffs. Clay Matthews was one of these players and his team won the Super Bowl.

In 2009, three of the NFL's top five sacks leaders led their teams to the playoffs. Will Smith was one of these players and his team won the Super Bowl.

So out of the last five seasons, 15 of the 25 players in the top 5 of the NFL in sacks led their teams to the playoffs. That's 60% of the players who appeared in the top five of the NFL in sacks over the last five years (prior to 2014) whose team made the playoffs. No correlation there I'm sure. 

So, how much of an impact do elite pass rushers have on their teams? Clearly not as much as some people like to think. 

Based on the 2014 season, these "some people" are wrong. Based on the five years prior to that, these "some people" have a better case.

Whereas nearly every NFL team with a quarterback that is widely referred to as ‘elite’ did make the playoffs.

The author is relying on a lot of opinions and definitions of "elite" here that I don't care to get into. The important thing to note is quarterbacks like Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, and Matt Ryan didn't make the playoffs. Teams made the playoffs with non-elite quarterbacks like Cam Newton, Russell Wilson, and Andy Dalton. You can have your own opinion about Joe Flacco and Matthew Stafford too. Not sure I would call them "elite."

Fact #2:

Five pass rushers have recorded at least two sacks in the playoffs this year and none of those five player’s teams made it to a Conference Championship game.

This is a dumb statistic to use. Pass rushers who play the most games in the playoffs will naturally have better sack totals, but ignoring that, taking a sample size of two games is a terrible way to prove elite pass rushers are overrated. The #1 and #2 seeds in the AFC and NFC both will have only played one game prior to the Conference Championship Game, so naturally it's expected those pass rushers won't have as good of a sack total in the playoffs prior to the Conference Championship Game. Chandler Jones could have 1 sack in the one game he played prior to the Conference Championship Game. This doesn't mean he isn't elite or he didn't help his team win the Super Bowl.

The four teams that made it to Championship Sunday do not feature a single pass rusher that has recorded two sacks in the playoffs yet. Further evidence that dominant pass rushers do not directly equate to winning in the NFL.

Fact #2:

Again, over the last six seasons (including the 2014 season) 16 of the 30 players in the top five of the NFL in regular season sacks have also appeared in the playoffs. That's 53%, which by the way, is more than half. Sure, more elite quarterbacks have appeared in the playoffs during that time span, but no reasonable person is arguing a pass rusher is as valuable as a quarterback. The fact a pass rusher isn't as valuable as a quarterback doesn't mean an elite pass rusher is overrated.

Oddly enough, it seems the opposite is true.

Oddly enough, you use one season's worth of data to show this to be true.

The trend I’m noticing is that teams with multiple above-average pass rushers win with much more consistency than teams with one elite pass rusher.

Well yeah, that's true too. A team with multiple pass rushers that are very good will win more games than a team with one elite pass rusher and shitty pass rushers around him. That's blindingly obvious. Are elite offensive linemen overrated because a team with one elite offensive linemen and a bunch of useless assholes around him doesn't win with as much consistency as a team with multiple above-average offensive linemen? I think not. The author's argument is so terrible. He misunderstands that football is a team sport. A team with better players at more positions will win more games than a team with better players at just a few positions.

Fact #3:

The league’s most dominant pass rusher, and defensive player, couldn’t lead his team to the playoffs.

Fact #3: This is information gathered from one season. Over the past six seasons a player who has appeared in the top 5 of the NFL in sacks during the regular season has been on a team that won the Super Bowl three times. That's 50% of the time a team with an elite pass rusher wins the Super Bowl. I know, I know, I'm cheating by using a sample size larger than one season. How dare I try to get to the truth of whether pass rushers are overrated because they don't lead their team to the playoffs by searching out information and data that covers more than one NFL season!

The Texans’ Watt is the undisputed king of the NFL, on the defensive side of the ball that is. Yet, even his incredible impact couldn’t raise the Texans to the postseason. Would the Texans be worse without him? Certainly! 

Does this mean an elite pass rusher is overrated? Certainly not! It just means the Texans didn't make the playoffs in the AFC this season.

But if the Texans added Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady would it become a playoff team? I’m inclined to say yes, of course.

And because Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady would take the Texans to the playoffs when J.J. Watt could not, this means a quarterback is more valuable than a pass rusher, which means an elite pass rusher is overrated. So OF COURSE an elite pass rusher is overrated, because there are unnamed people in the world who think an elite pass rusher is as valuable as an elite quarterback. Obviously.

So do elite pass rushers really equal success in the NFL? Or is one player, even so great as one of 2014’s five elite pass rushers, not enough to truly make a huge difference in today’s NFL.

Based on one season's worth of data, these two questions aren't even worth answering with a definitive answer one way or another. Also, you forgot a question mark in the second question you asked.

Fact #4:

None of the for teams playing on Conference Championship Sunday boast an ‘elite’ pass rusher.

Fact #4. This information from one season doesn't mean elite pass rushers are overrated. Also, Clay Matthews has 61 sacks in his six year career. I would say he's pretty close to an elite pass rusher.

Also, the author's Fact #4 basically says the same thing as Fact #1. 

As far as 2014 statistics are concerned, the Patriots, Seahawks, Packers, and Colts do not feature as single elite pass rusher. That isn’t to say they’re bad pass rushing teams — that isn’t the case. These teams can get the quarterback, but they feature multiple players that can get to the quarterback and don’t rely on just one elite player.

Which is a nice thing to be able to do, just like having one elite pass rusher and multiple other players who can rush the quarterback on the same team is also a nice thing to have.

Look at the top pass rushers of the last four teams standing. The Packers’ Clay Matthews was 12th in the NFL in sacks in 2014. The Patriots’ Rob Ninkovich was 26th in the NFL in sacks in 2014. The Seahawks’ Michael Bennett was 36th in the NFL in sacks in 2014. The Colts’ Jonathan Newsome was 40th in the NFL in sacks in 2014. 

It's one year's worth of data. If you take a larger trend out of one season then you are the idiot here, not anyone who thinks an elite pass rusher can still help his team get to the playoffs. Data over the last six years shows defensive players in the top 5 of the NFL in sacks have led their team to the playoffs more often than not.

None of these pass rushers would be considered ‘elite’ pass rushers if just this years’ statistics were referenced. Matthews is the possible exception to this, although he hasn’t been lining up as a pure rusher in 2014 as much as he used to.

And yet, he still had 11 sacks on the season. Don't try to state Matthews isn't a pass rusher because he isn't lining up as much as a pure rusher in 2014 as he used to. If you are going to judge a player by sack totals, be consistent.

The top four teams in the NFL didn’t have a single pass rusher ranked in the top 10 in sacks this year and only one (Matthews) ranked inside the top 25.

You can restate the same thing 100 ways and it still doesn't take away from the fact you are using information based on one NFL season.

Quarterbacks don’t just get more media attention because it’s the flashy position, it’s because their impact on games is tremendous. Look at the quarterbacks of the last four teams standing. Brady, Rodgers, Russell Wilson, and Andrew Luck. All four can either be considered elite or on the verge of elite at the quarterback position. It seems as though quality quarterbacks are still much more valuable than elite pass rushers.

Yes, quarterbacks are more valuable than elite pass rushers. I'm not sure anyone is arguing otherwise. Guess what though? That doesn't mean an elite pass rusher is overrated. An elite pass rusher can be less valuable than an elite quarterback and still not be overrated. 

These facts cannot be disputed that 2014’s elite pass rushers are in every way overrated, 

I literally just disputed the fact that 2014's elite pass rushers are in every way overrated by pointing out how the information you gathered for 2014 is contradicted by data from the previous five NFL seasons. Besides who is overrated and who isn't overrated is a purely subjective opinion. There are no "facts" that can definitively disprove a purely subjective opinion. It's an opinion and it's subjective. Facts can only go so far. Nice hot take to call J.J. Watt overrated in your title. I am sure it pumped up some pageviews for you. 

That is, if we all agree that winning games, going to the playoffs, and winning the Super Bowl is the main goal of every NFL team, how can these elite players not be overrated?

Because three of the Super Bowl-winning teams over the last six playoffs had a pass rusher rated in the top 5 of the NFL in sacks for that season. I would go further past six seasons, but this bullshit article isn't even worth it. I think six seasons pretty much proves the point I want to prove. Over the last six seasons, 53% of the players in the top 5 of the NFL in sacks made the playoffs. So winning games, going to the playoffs, and winning the Super Bowl IS the main goal of every NFL team. More often than not over the last six seasons, a team with a player in the top 5 of the NFL in sacks has made the playoffs. Over the last six seasons, 50% of Super Bowl-winning teams had a player in the top 5 of the NFL in sacks. So that's why these elite pass rushers are probably not overrated. I'll call that Fact #5.

I’m a huge

idiot for using one season's worth of information to jump to a conclusion?

Watt fan, don’t get me wrong, but perhaps investing in elite pass rushers isn’t as paramount to hoisting the Lombardi Trophy as most people believe.

Or perhaps you should go stop writing hot takes like this if you aren't willing to go back more than one season to come to the conclusion your hot take supports. Football is a team sport. Investing in elite pass rushers is worthless if there aren't other good pass rushers on the roster, but an elite pass rusher does help in hoisting the Lombardi Trophy. Simply because quarterback is the most important position on the field, doesn't mean elite pass rushers are overrated.

Fact #6:

This article was an embarrassment.

Friday, September 5, 2014

8 comments Gregg Easterbrook Not Only Writes Haikus, But He Writes Really Boring Haikus

Gregg Easterbrook's NFL preview is here. There will be no rejoicing from me, for this is the TMQ I dislike the most...which is something I say every single week. So Gregg will be making predictions for this upcoming season, not standing by the predictions and then mocking others for making bad predictions in a TMQ after the season is over. Gregg also talks about "creep," like he does every single week to my annoyance and talks again about concussions. The not-so-secret about TMQ is that the topics for discussion don't really change that much from year to year. It's the same crap every year that Gregg writes about, he just finds different methods by which to lie and mislead his readers when he talks about the NFL.

America's original all-haiku NFL season predictions! This is the 15th year, the crystal anniversary -- Bristol, I'd like a dilithium crystal, please.

How about giving your readers a cyanide tablet? That sounds better than reading haikus against my will, though it's not against my will since I obviously choose to do so.

First, one of those serious topics that comes before fun. There's progress at the intersection of sports and society -- especially, of football and society. In just the past five years, a bleak picture has improved. So -- is victory won?

Could there be a more vague question based on a vague set of information? Oh, "progress at the intersection of sports and society." Wow, since that spells it out for me then I say, "yes" victory has been won.

First the recent positive developments:

You will stop writing TMQ effective immediately?

Emphasis on reducing deliberate helmet-to-helmet contact at all levels of football -- pro, college, high school and youth.

Oh, concussions. Again. Let me guess, next week is the fifth bi-annual discussion of how NFL and college offenses are moving at such a fast pace? Gregg tends to harp on certain topics and this is the second straight year Gregg has discussed concussions in the TMQ before the season begins. Last year Gregg talked about concussions in his NFL haiku preview.

ESPN put its weight and brand behind adding graduation rates to the ranking of college teams.

Oh yes, the horseshit ESPN Grade that only takes Top-25 teams in the AP and Coach's Poll into account and then only compares the graduation rate of these Top-25 teams to each other. It's an essentially useless metric, but Gregg can't stop pounding his chest about it.

These are movements in the right direction. Your columnist has been pounding the table about athletic reform for years, and many times expressed cynicism regarding whether there would ever be positive change. Now there has been. In just the past five years, football has begun to emphasize risk reduction while high school and college athletics have made strides toward enlightened management.

TMQ/Gregg Easterbrook has also pounded the table that high school football programs may no longer exist in the future due to lawsuits resulting from concussions and other injuries while playing the sport. Obviously since this prediction is starting to look less and less likely, Gregg will gloss over the fact he has pointed this out as an actual concern. Still, many times Gregg has indicated school districts may get rid of football which would lead to a smaller pool of high school football players that enter college, thereby ruining the pool of talented players for the NFL to choose from. It's a doomsday scenario Gregg has floated that he will immediately forget he ever brought up once/if it is proven incorrect. If proven correct, his readers won't hear the end of it. The rule, like always, Gregg will mislead his readers and then ignore any statements he might have made that ended up being incorrect.

But we're not there yet: victory is far from won.

So there has been progress at the intersection of sports and society, but victory is not won? Besides, to indicate victory has been won before victory is actually won would be "victory creep" and we know Gregg won't stand for that.

Further reforms are needed. Among them:

(Bengoodfella falls asleep)

Construction and operating subsidies to the NFL must end. If Google demanded that taxpayers pay for its server farms, there would be outrage. Why isn't there outrage when the billionaires of the NFL demand public subsidies that they convert to private profit?

I don't know. Perhaps because fans enjoy the fact there is an NFL team close to their home and they are able to share in the enjoyment with their family and friends, which can't be said for Google? Maybe taxpayers and municipalities understand that having an NFL team in the area is a great boon to the city's economic base and brings money into the city? Sure, Google brings jobs, but I would imagine having Google in a city doesn't bring quite the revenue that eight NFL games a year (and maybe more in the playoffs and preseason) bring to a city during the football season.

Reform of NCAA athletics has barely begun. Failing to graduate football and men's basketball players, not failing to pay them, is the big defect of the NCAA structure -- since a bachelor's degree adds more to lifetime earning than college players would receive in pay-for-play proposals.

Yes, the NCAA should encourage schools to graduate these student-athletes, but I feel it is important to add that these student-athletes should want to graduate and earn a degree. A college can't force a player to go to class and graduate. As long as that student-athlete meets the criteria to play athletics at the school, the university can't force a student-athlete who is a junior and wants to enter the NFL (or a student-athlete who has used his four years of athletic eligibility) to graduate.

The NCAA and universities should do more, but it has to be some semblance of a two-way street.

As you settle onto the couch and fire up the flat-screen HD to watch this autumn's performances, you can feel better than you might have felt five years ago -- football is becoming moderately less abusive of young people's bodies.

Well, I feel more comfortable now that Gregg Easterbrook has assured me I can feel better about watching football. His approval is all I needed.

Now -- America's original all-haiku NFL season predictions.

I'm not sure what is more pathetic, that Gregg Easterbrook has done haikus for 15 years now, or Peter King is using Gregg's idea of using haikus to talk about football. I think both are equally pathetic. There are no winners.

Brady's last hurrah?
Modeling career beckons.
The New England Pats.

Forecast finish: 11-5


One of the things that irritates me about Gregg's haikus is how he ends each one with the name of the team he is discussing. If he insists on doing a haiku preview, at least don't half-ass the last line of each one. There are other ways to indicate which team the haiku refers to.

A smoking wreckage
of Jeff Ireland era.
Miami Dolphins.

Forecast finish: 6-10


When commenting on the smoking wreckage of the Jeff Ireland era, it's important to know Gregg predicted the Dolphins would win the AFC East last year.

Billionaire demands
corporate welfare for field.
Miami Dolphins.
Forecast finish: 12-4


I guess the wreckage wasn't so bad last year? Everyone gets predictions wrong, but I enjoy pointing out when Gregg is wrong due to the fact he takes great pride in pointing out whenever other NFL experts make predictions that turn out to be incorrect.

"I am the greatest!"
Ali boast seems mild to Jets.
The Jersey/B Jets.

Forecast finish: 6-10


I don't really understand why Gregg thinks the Jets seem to boast a lot. I feel like Gregg stopped paying attention to the Jets three years ago and is coasting on what the team thought of themselves then. Gregg seems to do this type of thing a lot. He prefers to coast on his assumptions rather than take the time to determine if his assumptions are true. He does this here with the Jets and ESPN allows him to get away with it. Also, 6-10 is the same record he picked for the Jets last year. 

Ferrari's new $1.6 million, 950-horsepower supercar is named LaFerrari. Calling it "the LaFerrari" would become "the The Ferrari."

Well, that's why a person wouldn't call it "the LaFerrari" and would simply call it "LaFerrari." No one says the word "the" has to be in front of the name for the car.

Warp speed does not help
if the shields (defense) no good.
The Philly Eagles.

Forecast finish: 10-6


By the way, Gregg had the Eagles at 6-10 last year, followed by him talking about how West Coast and warp speed football is taking over. It would have been nice if he had thought West Coast and warp speed football was taking over prior to the season beginning and mentioned it in regard to the Eagles, but Gregg is reactive and doesn't work that way.

New York Times Corrections On Fast Forward: During the past six months, the Paper of Record, according to its corrections page:

Confused Ho Chi Minh City, the former Saigon, with the United States;

This is a little misleading. Ho Chi Minh City wasn't confused with the United States. The words "United States" were used in the article instead of "Ho Chi Minh City." There was no confusion about where Ho Chi Minh City was located. If I accidentally type "Tom Kelly" instead of "Chip Kelly" then I am not confusing Chip Kelly with the former manager of the Minnesota Twins, I simply used the wrong name before writing "Kelly." I don't think Tom Kelly is Chip Kelly and the New York Times didn't think Ho Chi Minh City was in the United States.

Mixed up the difference between apes and monkeys. What was the subject of the article? Intelligence;

The article Gregg linked and didn't read was on the subject of intelligence in animals, not intelligence in humans. So Gregg has no point and is more interested in cutesy bullshit like this which allows him to make jokes rather than being upfront with his readers and hoping they don't click on the link provided. The newspaper did mix up apes and monkeys, but unless the writer of the article was an animal, it's not really ironic for the reason Gregg thinks it is.

"referred incorrectly to a visit by Peter the Great to the Netherlands." Did the 18th century call to complain?

Says the guy who takes the time to point this mistake out.

Confused Spider-Man with Iron Man;

Again, maybe it is semantics, but they didn't confuse Spider-Man and Iron Man, they confused which comic John Romita Jr. was first offered work. The confusion wasn't with Spider-Man and Iron Man, but with which comic Romita was first offered work. If I write that Peter King writes TMQ every week, then I am not confusing TMQ and MMQB, but am confusing which column Peter King writes. I think there is a difference.

I also think it is funny that Gregg takes the time to point out the mistakes of others who admit their mistakes, while he is a person who won't admit when he's made a mistake or intentionally misled his audience with deceptive writing tactics.

Admitted it was wrong to say that all elite male athletes have testosterone levels "in the female range";

I can't understand how Gregg is allowed to mislead his audience, but I'm beating a dead horse at this point. This was an op-ed column, so it wasn't an article written by a New York Times columnist. Also, the op-ed didn't say that all elite male athletes have testosterone levels "in the female range." The op-ed stated:

An Op-Ed article on April 12 about “sex testing” of athletes referred imprecisely to the overlap in testosterone levels among elite athletes of both sexes. While 16.5 percent of elite male athletes in one study had testosterone levels below the lower limit of the so-called male range, not all of them had levels within the female range.

The op-ed wasn't referring to "all" male athletes, but "all" male athletes in a specific study. Gregg is making it seem like "all" refers to the entire population of male athletes and not a subset of the male population that participated in this specific study. He's indicating the error references a larger population than it really does by leaving out important information.

Graying defense, no
run game. Still -- watch out for them.
The Pittsburgh Steelers.

Forecast finish: 8-8


Gregg predicted the Steelers would go 8-8 last year as well. I like how Gregg plays both sides on the Steelers. His stupid haiku says the Steelers have an old defense and no run game (which is negative obviously), then says "watch out for them" (positive) and then says they will go 8-8 and be 3rd in the AFC North (again, negative). So no matter how the season goes for the Steelers, Gregg is right. You would think if Gregg really thought the Steelers were a team to watch then he would have them being better than 8-8.

Johnny, LBJ,
GOP: Cleveland does rock.
The Browns (2.0).

Forecast finish: 7-9


I don't even understand the point of these haikus. If they were clever, then I see the idea of building a column around them, but this isn't clever. It's silly and pointless. The only way I would chuckle at any of these haikus is if I was eating lunch while reading them, got food lodged in my throat and had to chuckle slightly to clear my throat.

Bears: high-scoring team
with no defense. Yes, the Bears.
The Chicago Bears.

Forecast finish: 10-6


Gregg from last year...

Lovie, Urlacher
gone; 10 wins must be punished!
The Chicago Bears
Forecast finish: 6-10


Except it wasn't. The Bears went 8-8 and had success even when their starting quarterback got injured. Of course, Gregg would have created a "Lovie Curse" if the Bears had gone 6-10 last year, but because they did not, Gregg will wait until the Bears struggle and then desperately attempt to create a fake curse to explain how because Lovie Smith was fired the Bears aren't playing well. There's nothing I like about Gregg's writing.

AAU football:
Superstars but poor results.
The Detroit Lions.

Forecast finish: 6-10


I don't understand. How is "AAU football" correlate to poor results? Does Gregg seem to think AAU teams have bad results? Does Gregg know anything about AAU? Why would an AAU team have superstars and bad results?

The answers, of course, are "It doesn't," "He's making shit up," "He's writing out of his ass, so don't hold him to what he is writing," and "They wouldn't. Gregg wants to criticize others for a lack of accuracy, but doesn't care to turn that criticism on himself because he wants to write a light-hearted football column where he takes credit for those things he says that are right, but hides behind the idea his comments are just cutesy schtick when he gets facts wrong."

Two weeks ago, TMQ declared the Philadelphia 76ers have become "Zen masters" of the NBA art of getting rid of players in order to lose deliberately.

Apparently Sixers management remained nervous about the chance of an accidental victory, so proceeded a few days ago to trade away the team's leading scorer, Thad Young, for a draft choice and more backups. 

Well, Young was a free agent after this season and the Sixers were probably not going to get a chance to re-sign him. Rather than have him play well on a team going nowhere, they got some value for him. I wouldn't expect Gregg to understand any nuance involved with a sport he doesn't have the time to pay any attention to though. It seems the only time Gregg pays attention to the NBA is when he is pointing out NBA teams make dumb moves.

As noted by many readers, first Joe Maiz of Palmyra, New Jersey, Disney just released its 2014 holiday ornaments. Tom Delio of Virginia Beach, Virginia, reports, "On August 15, I saw pumpkin spice lattes advertised at the Joe Muggs coffee shop at the Virginia Beach Books-a-Million. Also, this past Friday the At Home store in Chesapeake, Virginia, in addition to having Halloween decorations on sale, had Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations on sale as well."

It doesn't make any sense to buy a Christmas ornament after Christmas does it? If a person is giving a Christmas ornament to someone else or buying a Christmas ornament for him/herself then it makes sense to do so before Christmas season begins so the ornament can be hung on the tree. I've explained how retail works so many times. It's just pure stupidity on the part of those who don't understand how retail stores try to drive sales. And yes, I would like pumpkin coffee or a pumpkin latte (if I drank them) prior to the month of November. It's not creep, it's just that if a coffee shop is going to create a pumpkin-flavored drink then it makes sense to try to sell as many of them as possible. Hence, the sale of pumpkin-flavored drinks begins early.

Fisher shown the door
after 16: downhill since.
Tennessee Titans.

Forecast finish: 7-9


Now we all know I think this is funny. Fisher was 8-8 and 6-10 during his last two seasons in Tennessee and in his 16 seasons with the team they were at or below .500 ten times. It seems like it was downhill for quite a few seasons while Fisher was with the Titans. Since Fisher left the Titans, they have gone 9-7, 6-10, and 7-9. So it sort of sounds like business as usual without Fisher, right? But of course I wouldn't expect Gregg to do research before popping off about how the Titans have gone downhill since Fisher left as their head coach. Research is for people who give a shit about whether what they say has accuracy or not.

NFC title
game seems very long ago.
Atlanta Falcons.

Forecast finish: 6-10


It was one NFL season ago. That's it. Gregg wrote a TMQ in August about how hard it is for an NFL team to repeat as Super Bowl champions, yet he acts surprised when it's hard for an NFL team to get back to the playoffs in back-to-back seasons. I just don't understand him at all.

Scoreboard was spinning
'til met the Bluish Men Group.
The Denver Broncos.

Forecast finish: 11-5


Gregg can't even preview NFL teams in haiku version without talking about last year more than he talks about the upcoming season.

Dude, let's hit the beach.
Whoa, we have a game today?
San Diego Bolts.

Forecast finish: 9-7


The worthlessness never ceases. Are there really readers of TMQ who think, "Man, I can't wait for the all-haiku NFL preview that is really a 2013 NFL season review in haiku form"? I can't believe there are.

This column has noted that newspapers long have had a touchy relationship with auto reviewing. Auto dealers are major advertisers, so reviewers tend to praise all marques. Reviewers tend to extol maximum horsepower, regardless of cost, environmental impact or the relationship between horsepower and road rage -- after all, they don't fuel or insure the cars they test-drive.

I'm glad someone is finally brave enough and willing to blow the lid off newspapers who give good reviews to car companies who buy advertising money. 

New Cognomen: Reader Damon Spear of Seattle argues, "If you're going to use Jersey/A, Jersey/B and City of Tampa, you should call Colin Kaepernick's team the Santa Clara 49ers." Mr. Data, make it so!

Oh god, please don't encourage Gregg to do this stupid re-naming of NFL teams to call them something other than their real name.

Second-best for two
straight years. This year may be best?
Santa Clara team.

Forecast finish: 12-4


Remember last year how Gregg threw himself off the 49ers bandwagon, never to acknowledge he did so when they made the NFC Championship Game? So I guess he's back on the bandwagon and isn't buying the Crabtree Curse anymore? I only ask because if the 49ers start 1-2 then Gregg will probably write another TMQ about how the read-option is dead and the 49ers should use a more traditional defense to win games. Then when the 49ers make the NFC Championship Game again he'll laud a few undrafted free agents on the team (on a team surrounded with draft picks taken in the first two rounds who have made an impact) and forget he ever was off the 49ers bandwagon.

Chose Bradford over
Griffin: Regrets begin now.
The St. Louis Rams.

Forecast finish: 4-12


Gregg from last year...

Left RG III on
the table; can they rebound?
The St. Louis Rams.
Forecast finish: 4-12


So Gregg pretty much copy and pasted his haiku from last year, left the same record for the Rams in that TMQ and changed a few words around? It seems that way. I don't need to underscore the stupidity of the all-haiku preview when Gregg's choice of topics in the haiku does it for me.

Four and a half years ago the media world went atwitter with the amazing story of a 13-year-old who already had a college football scholarship! Here is the ESPN report from 2010. The story was picked up by many news organizations, leading to the boy appearing with his father on ABC's "Good Morning America." Thirteen-year-old has college football scholarship -- amazing!

Signing a national letter of intent couldn't happen, in this boy's case, until February 2015. Mention that and the "amazing" story goes poof. So media accounts didn't mention that. Steve Clarkson, the hustler behind the phony story, sure didn't bring it up. More details of how this happened are in my 2013 book "The King of Sports."

Gregg has got to keep pushing his "The King of Sports" book hard, doesn't he?

The young quarterback, David Sills V, just started his senior year. You will not be surprised to learn the USC "commitment" evaporated. All parties to the 2010 charade -- Clarkson; former USC coach Lane Kiffin; Sills' father, a wealthy man who essentially founded a school to promote his son -- got what they wanted, which was national publicity.

For fear of seeming like I am defending the idiocy of a 13 year old verbally committing to a college, this story isn't memorable in that when there is a coaching change at a college football program many times the recruits who have given a verbal commitment will search to play college football at another university. So the story is unique and silly in that a 13 year old verbally committed to USC, but I'm mostly not surprised the commitment evaporated because USC had a change in head coaches. Sills had a good relationship with Kiffin, and if Gregg read the column he linked he would know this. Sills even visited the USC campus every spring. Again, I won't defend a 13 year old committing to a college, but when there is a head coaching change verbal commits often look to play college football elsewhere.

Brady said he agreed to less than maximum value to ensure the Flying Elvii have the cap space to retain other starters. (This view is not entirely selfless; being at juggernaut New England is good for Brady's endorsement income.) Last week the Patriots asked perennial Pro Bowl guard Logan Mankins to take a pay cut. When he declined, he was summarily traded to City of Tampa. There but by the grace of the football gods goes Brady!

The Patriots' signal-caller can't be happy he agreed to work for less than market value, only to find the team offloading a guy who stands between him and some Ticonderoga-class nose tackle.

Well, actually it is the Patriots center AND guards would often have to block a huge nose tackle trying to get at Tom Brady. It depends on where the nose tackle lines up, but it's not accurate to say Logan Mankins stood between Brady and a nose tackle, because the other guard and the center will also face off with the opposing team's nose tackle.

Candidates for the spot include a bevy of undrafted free agents -- Ryan Wendell, Dan Connolly, Jordan Devey and Josh Kline -- all of whom earn substantially less than Mankins.

Well, that's great then! Rather than have a highly-drafted, highly-paid glory boy like Logan Mankins blocking for Tom Brady, the Patriots have a large group of undrafted free agents who work hard and only care about the team blocking for Brady. This must be a dream for Gregg Easterbrook since he loves to tell his readers how undrafted free agents work harder and perform better than highly-drafted, highly-paid glory boys like Logan Mankins, a guy who loves money so much he refused to take a pay cut for the betterment of the team.

Yet, Gregg doesn't seem to sound like he thinks this is a positive development that Mankins is gone and undrafted free agents are blocking for Brady. Gee, I wonder why that is?

Gregg in the last paragraph of this week's all-haiku TMQ:

During the preseason, Tuesday Morning Quarterback uses "vanilla" items designed to confuse scouts from other sports columns. Starting next week as the football artificial universe resumes, TMQ will come at readers from all directions with obscure references, recondite analogies and unorthodox fact packages.

Gregg in the last paragraph of last year's all-haiku TMQ:

During the preseason, TMQ uses "vanilla" material designed to confuse scouts from other sports columns. Starting next week, I will come at readers from all directions with complex sentence structures, exotic joke packages and quick-snap items.

He could at least pretend like he puts some effort into TMQ and just doesn't plagiarize himself because he is too damn lazy to write a completely original final group of sentences to his all-haiku TMQ. It shouldn't shock anyone that Gregg puts no effort into writing new, original material. After all, he doesn't read the articles he links and he has no care to put effort into determining whether the assertions he makes in TMQ are factual or just shit he has made up based on his own incorrect assumptions.

I'll employ an up-tempo format in which each new item begins before the previous one ends.

How about you end TMQ and begin to write a new column on a completely new topic at a completely new website and then not tell anyone that you write at that new website?