Monday, June 15, 2009

10 comments I Am Tired Of Bill Plaschke Freaking Out

Sorry there is no MMQB this morning, I am on vacation and wrote this post last Wednesday, but MMQB will be up Wednesday morning when I get back, do not fear. Because I am OCD, I had to put something up on Monday and I couldn't figure out exactly how the hell to post an article that is a week old already and make it sound new. Then I had a thought, Bill Plaschke is always freaking out about any Lakers loss in the playoffs. He's a horrendous reactive journalist. Here is his archive. He is like Chicken Little with a slight lisp. I will show how reactive he is by posting an article that will be old by Monday and his panic will make him seem stupid.

When the Lakers win, he writes a wonderfully poetic article about how this is a different team than they used to be and when the Lakers lose, he writes a terribly upset article about how the team is tired or needs to get their shit together. He is as bad as most of the fans of a team. The world is over after a loss and the team is the greatest team in the world after a win. So I thought I would demonstrate what a huge panic he is by posting his Wednesday article on Monday when invariably the series may very well be over with a Lakers victory by Monday to show what a reactionary journalist he is. It would not shock me if the series if over in 5 games but don't tell that to Plaschke.

As Pau Gasol lay sprawled on his belly in a cramped and jeering gym late Tuesday, gasping, sweating, needing a hand, a teammate walked past.

Kobe Bryant never even slowed down.

Holy crap, is this metaphorical? Kobe couldn't pick his team up on this given night? Or was it that he is such an asshole he refused to pick his team up? I vote asshole.

This is another thing that annoys me about Plaschke. He writes one sentence paragraphs and five word sentences. Reading his articles are like reading a children's book.

He wouldn't pick him up. He couldn't pick him up. He couldn't pick any of them up.

Kobe's Game 3 statistics: 31 points, 8 assists, 3 rebounds on 11-25 shooting from the field and 5-10 shooting from the foul line. Not exactly his best line of the series but we can't pin this loss completely on him. Not when Andrew Bynum chipped in with 4 points.

Plaschke manages to freak out after every loss the Lakers have. The Magic shot 63% from the field which is a record of some kind I do believe. The Lakers only lost by 4 points when the Magic shot 63% from the field and made 23 out of 30 free throws. All is not lost and I think it is pretty clear the Magic can't shoot like that for the rest of the series. The Lakers are still in great shape. The Magic won at home, which is what they are supposed to be doing. When you are reading this on Monday, I would be completely and utterly shocked if the Lakers are down 3-2 going back to Orlando. It's not happening. If the series is not over, then the Lakers have a 3-2 lead with two games left...they are not going to lose those two games. Not from what I have seen in the series.

The Lakers endured swish after swish against what became the hottest-shooting team in NBA Finals history, yet still tied it up in the final three minutes.

Exactly. Why can't Bill Plaschke write a column about a Lakers game and not make it sound like the team is on the verge of losing the entire series? They lost one game. I feel like I have written this article before about Plaschke. Except this time, rather than me predicting things that happen and trying to make Plaschke sound like an idiot, you can all read what he wrote less than a week earlier and know he is an idiot. This is a Lakers loss Doomsday article.

After scoring 17 points in the first quarter, Bryant scored just 14 the rest of the game. That's a lack of energy.

Maybe it is a lack of energy. Where is Bill Simmons to write an article about how tired and worn down this Lakers team is? They have played more games over the past year and a half than any other team in the NBA has and Kobe played in the Olympics as well. We got the "Boston is tired because they are so exhausted from defending their title" excuse earlier in the playoffs. I find it interesting that he doesn't say the same thing about the Lakers considering they have played more games than Boston did and they are defending their Western Conference Title pretty well. I know it is off topic, but I feel like it has to be said. The Boston Sports Guy will never make excuses for other teams like he does for his Boston teams, even if the other team is in the same situation as his Boston team was.

He missed half of his 10 free throws, clanking one in the final minute that could have pulled the Lakers to within a point. That's a lack of legs.

He then committed a costly mistake with the Lakers trailing by two, losing the ball while trying to dribble through a double team. That's just pure weariness.

If you combined all of Plaschke's two sentence paragraphs into one sentence, I doubt his articles would reach a page in length. Sure, maybe Kobe is a little bit tired, but I thought he wanted it so bad you could see it on his face? I guess not...actually, if any athlete in these playoffs should be tired, it is Kobe Bryant because he has literally played basketball for a year and a half straight. He played in the Finals, the Olympics, and then the Finals again. I still think he will be ok. He will pop a 5 Hour Energy drink before Game 4 and be back on track. No need to panic.

Bryant was whipped, and I wasn't the only one who thought so, as Coach Phil Jackson sat him on the bench for nearly the first five minutes of the fourth quarter.

It could have also had something to do with the fact Kobe had four or five personal fouls at that point in the game. I am sure that factored in a little bit.

So, then, Jackson thought he looked tired?

I am sure you can take everything Phil Jackson, the Zen Master and the man who seems to coach his players using entirely psychology, at face value and believe what he is saying when asked a question.

"Yeah," Jackson said. "[But] he'll say no."

Is this the truth or a psychological ploy? Which one? We will know the result by Monday.

I can see Plaschke's panic ridden face at hearing that Kobe Bryant may be tired. I bet his slight lisp is very pronounced right now.

I asked Bryant and, yes, officially he said no. But by his tiny smile -- one of the first of the series -- you knew he meant yes.

After speaking to Phil Jackson, Bill Plaschke scurried over to Kobe like a mouse to see if he would say he got tired during the game. Maybe Kobe was smiling because he thought it was an incredibly stupid question or he thinks it is funny to watch Plaschke run all over the locker room asking people if they think he is tired.

There is a third possibility for Bryant's fatigue, but it is too premature to ponder, and, for Laker fans, too painful to even consider.

Two months shy of his 31st birthday, three games into the most strenuous basketball series of his life, could Bryant be hitting a wall that will not disappear?

Exactly how it could it be too premature to ponder that Bryant is fatigued but this is the reason he was tired during Game 3 of the NBA Finals? If his fatigue is currently occurring I would say it is not too early to ponder he may be fatigued. Though, I would have to imagine this fatigue would not hit immediately in a three day span between Game 2 and Game 3 of the NBA Finals, but would actually happen over a period of time where Bryant's numbers start to decline. That doesn't seem to be occurring. So I doubt Plaschke's "long term fatigue" theory is in any way correct.

Bryant may be hitting the wall but I don't think that is the reason the Lakers did not win. I think the fact the Magic shot 63% from the field is the reason the Lakers did not win.

Defense suffers, and if you don't think Bryant's energy was missing there, well, the Magic had the best shooting first half in NBA playoff history (75%) after bricking its way through Los Angeles.

We will know more on Monday when everyone reads this but I have a feeling this performance by Orlando in Game 3 is nothing more than a death rattle. They won a game in the series and I don't think they will be able to win another one. So many things went right in this game for the Magic and the Lakers still had a chance to win it.

"It was disappointing," Bryant said. "I'm used to coming through in those situations, the team trusts me to come through in those situations, and it just didn't happen tonight."

That's the bottom line. There is no need for panic. Just to recap, after the Lakers lose ONE GAME in the NBA Finals to a team shooting 63% Bill Plaschke freaks out and says the Lakers could be in trouble because Kobe Bryant is tired...he even thinks this game was a sign that Kobe will slow down for his entire career now and this game was an indication of an even greater career slide.? Reactionary journalism at it's best.

I hate it when journalists over react and freak out after the team they cover wins or loses one game. It's annoying and it will not shock me if when everyone reads this on Monday Kobe has bounced back and the series is over. It really would not surprise me at all. Journalism that takes one game and makes a huge, huge deal out of it really pisses me off.

I still don't understand why the games during the week start at 9pm and the games on the weekend start at 8:30pm. Then the NBA sets up the NBA Finals schedule so there are no games on Friday or Saturday nights, you know, the nights most people can actually stay up and watch the games. Does the NBA not want NBA fans to be able to watch the games? I haven't been able to finish an NBA Finals game yet because I always have to go to work the next day. The NBA Playoffs schedule never fails to piss me off with its idiocy.


AJ said...

I think the NBA has realized that no matter what time they put it on no one is going to watch it. Well yesterday i would have watched the game if it was on during the day, since nothing was on at all. I for one didn't even realize the game was on last night till i saw it scroll across ESPN.

Basketball season is to long and to boring. It should have ended 3 weeks ago. I just think there are more choices on the TV then watching two teams I could care less about play each other in a sport that doesn't belong on at this time of year.

AJ said...

Ben, you must have took all the readers with you...or everyone took a vacation all at the same time. Not many comments since you left.

Boston Boy has a new article up...and it just drags and drags about the same thing. We get it, you hate the Lakers since you are a "Boston" fan.

Why not just keep it very simple, Kobe is an ass, no one likes him, no one cares about him...he's just like Barry Bonds, the only people who like him are fans of the team hs is on, and thats the only reason they like him.

Fred Trigger said...

Either that or I'm just not interesting enough. When I saw Boston Boy, I thought you were referring to me, then I saw Lakers and I realized it was bill simmons you were referring to.

Anyways, am I too boring? Do I need to step up my game? Let me know, readers. I'm always open to suggestions.

AJ said...

Well I've commented on your posts, I just don't comment on the weekends, which is why all mine came on Monday.

Boston Boy did refer to Bill. He should just stop writing when he has nothing to talk about. Why write about the NBA when the only team you care about (when they are good) is out and you only write things that somehow refer back to that team. Yes the Lakers were not that good, but you know what, niether was Boston last year but we didn't hear anything about that from the hypocrite.

By the way, Ortiz used PEDs...

Jeremy Conlin said...

Woah, woah, let's not go overboard here. Boston wasn't that good last year? If I remember correctly, they won 66 games in the regular season, stumbled a bit in the first two rounds, but then soundly beat both the Pistons and the Lakers. They were DEFINITIVELY the best team in basketball, and they were easily better than 3 of the previous 5 title teams (04 Pistons, 05 Spurs, 06 Heat). The Lakers this year were probably the best team, but I can't say that with 100% certainty. I'm not sure if they would have beaten Cleveland without home-court advantage.

And AJ, not to make this personal, but you seem to have a serious problem with Simmons. You're like an anti-Simmons clone. You're the only person here that refuses to acknowledge when Simmons makes a good point or posts something good. You call him a hypocrite, but his column today spends a good 1000 words talking about how Kobe (A) is now a top-10 player of all time, and (B) just delivered one of the best 20-month stretches in the history of basketball. How can you call him a hypocrite for that? He acknowledges that we're seeing one of the greatest players ever perform at his absolute peak. Also, go look at his archive. He has far more NBA columns than he does about any other subject, and just about all of them were written when the Celtics stunk. To say that he only cares about the Celtics is just plain stupid.

I think the underlying reason is that you just have a bias against Boston. I can understand that, because as a Cleveland fan, I'm not especially fond of Chicago or Detroit. But you know what? I acknowledge that guys like Derrick Rose and Ben Gordon are special players. I acknowledge that Detroit was one of the two best teams in the NBA from 2003-2008. You don't seem to be able to do that with Boston. I remember you saying that you thought Rajon Rondo wasn't good, even though anyone with an IQ over 75 that watches basketball regularly knows that he's probably a top-6 point guard in the league. I'm not saying that you have to like Simmons, or that you have to like Boston, I'm simply saying that when you rip on them simply because you don't like them, or you refuse to admit when they do something well, you're ruining your credibility both as a sports fan and as a critic of Simmons. BGF does, I think, a good job of criticizing Simmons when he thinks it's deserved, but also acknowledging when Simmons makes a good point. I tend to agree with most of BGF's criticisms, and I take issue with a few also. But I'll admit when Simmons sounds like an idiot.

I apologize if this comes off like a personal attack, but I felt like something had to be mentioned. Just give credit where credit is due.

Fred Trigger said...

I think Jeremy is about to kick off a war in the comments.

AJ is entitled to his opinion about Simmons and really I dont have a problem with it. Although, for a Detroit fan, you do seem to have a crazy amount of hatred for all things boston. Whatevs, its all good, I actually laughed when you called Pedroia, Eckstein the other day.

AJ said...

I never said Boston wasnt good last year, did i? I just pointed out they werent that good, as in not one of the best all time teams or something close to that. Just like the Lakers were not that good this year, meaning compared to past champs. Regular season records are not the be all end all of how good a team is.

What credit is there to give him exactly? He is pointing out Kobe is a top 10 player all time, but he does it in a way that makes it look like he actually complains about it. Thats the point. He writes in a way that sounds like he is saying one thing but meaning another.

You are right, I don't like him or Boston teams...or New York teams, or LA teams, or Ohio State teams. And you may be the only person in the world who thinks he cares about other teams other then Boston. Sure he writes other NBA stuff, but he still only cares about one team and one team only.

I said Rondo wasn't a top five PG, thats my opinion. Rose, Parker, Harris, Paul, and Billups are better PGs in my opinion.

AJ said...

Well I only called him Eckstein cuz of your last post...just a little fun is all.

I don't only hate Boston, I really really really hate the Yankess, but so does everyone. I can't stand the Lakers or the Bulls...

I just feel like most of the talk is about Boston and New York, so i just have more hate because of that more then anything else.

Jeremy is a pro Bill (most of the time), and i'm an anti Bill (all of the time). No big deal, I don't take it personally if we disagree on things or disagree on someones writing.

Jeremy Conlin said...

I guess it depends on how you define "caring" about other teams. Simmons definitely cares about certain players, like Durant, LeBron, Duncan, and Chris Paul, and then that translates into him "caring" about their respective teams. If you really think that he says "I root for Boston and everyone else can suck it," then you're wrong. I don't get what you're expecting out of him. He's a Boston fan, so obviously, he's going to care about and follow the Celtics more than any other team. Every other sports fan on the planet does the exact same thing. His whole shtick is that he writes from the fan's perspective, but then you complain when he acts like a fan. Does that make any sense?

Bengoodfella said...

The amount of comments are always overstated anyway because I respond to pretty much every comment that comes out. So you should just half whatever the comments usually are.

Fred, it is tough to get comments on the weekend and to have people read it. Generally traffic tends to go down a little bit then.

I think the NBA season is too long but I quit caring before the Finals. For some reason, I don't enjoy the NBA Finals generally as much as I do the Conference Finals and Semis.

I do want to say that I was completely write with this post...of course if you make enough predictions, eventually get one right. I figured it would be over by Monday.

I am glad two people on opposite sides can disagree so much and not leave a wake of hatred behind. I think if there was someone here who liked Peter King's writing they would say I am like AJ and anti-Peter King to a fault. I really am. Maybe it is just me but anything Simmons says positive about the Lakers is insincere in my mind since I know he hates them. I am probably too paranoid over it but it just feels that way...because he really, really hates the Lakers.

I haven't read the article by Simmons so I can't really comment on it much. I think we tend to take some of those older teams and romanticize them a little bit. I don't know how to compare them to this Lakers team or any other champs of this decade fairly. I am sure John Hollinger is all over it though.