4 comments MMQB Review: Robin Williams Died, Which Means Peter Talks More About Philip Seymour Hoffman Edition

Peter King wrote in last week's MMQB that no finality will be determined after one preseason game, as Kevin Durant suggested on Twitter that media members are prone to do, then spent the first part of MMQB stating how Johnny Manziel has closed the gap on Brian Hoyer after the first preseason game. Peter also continued with his worship of words that are coming out of Chip Kelly's mouth and updated his readers on Michael Sam's adjustment to the NFL. I'm sure Michael Sam would just be another NFL player if the media would allow that to happen, which they won't. This week Peter talks about the 49ers new stadium, the Jaguars' future, accidentally tries to share a hotel room with a stranger, and reinforces once again that Philip Seymour Hoffman is the greatest actor of our generation. Peter will shart himself if anyone thinks differently.

There are two words for the 49ers’ new Levi’s Stadium, which opened for football Sunday afternoon: imaginative and cool.

That is actually three words you just used.

Imaginative, because the Niners, when they couldn’t get a deal done with the city of San Francisco for a new stadium eight years ago, decided they could do a couple of things. They could continue to fight to build a stadium in some inaccessible place near San Francisco where they didn’t want to be, or they could look elsewhere, to a place more accessible to the biggest city in the Bay Area, San Jose, and a place much closer to the mega-companies that had come to define the area.

It was imaginative to rip the team away from the city of San Francisco and head to an area with a larger companies who can provide sponsorship opportunities. Who would have ever thought do to this?

The site of this stadium is nine miles from Apple’s headquarters, 11 miles from Google, two miles from Intel, 10 miles from Facebook, four miles from Cisco and six miles from Yahoo. Levi’s Stadium is 45 miles south of Fisherman’s Wharf, but the world is changing—the world has changed—and so why mourn what isn’t?

That's an excellent way to look at it from the perspective of someone who isn't a 49ers fan who hasn't supported the team since they were in San Francisco only to have the team move to an area where they could build the new stadium. I don't know the local politics of this, but Peter's attitude of "Well, everything changes so get the fuck over it" feels sort of like a slap in the face to 49ers fans who supported the team in San Francisco. I wonder if Peter would feel the same way if the Red Sox moved from Boston to Andover. I'm guessing he would feel differently about "the world changing" in that situation.

Cool, because of these things:

The 38,000 square feet of solar panels produce enough energy to run the stadium for the 10 home 49er games each year, making it the only energy-sustainable sports venue in North America.

Better hope the 49ers don't have a home playoff game I guess.

There are light rail stops and bicycle racks just outside the stadium, You can ride your bike to the stadium from nearby San Jose neighborhoods, and my friend, San Jose Mercury News columnist Mark Purdy, said he plans to walk the four miles from his house to the stadium one time this season.

Can you ride your bike from San Francisco?

Another not-my-thing thing, but I realize it’s important today: Levi’s Stadium has four times the high-speed wifi capacity of the NFL’s standard for 2015.

Wait, high-speed wifi capacity isn't Peter's thing? If I remember correctly Peter King has complained about a hotel charging for wifi before. I'm sure wifi that moves quickly is one of Peter's "things" even if he doesn't know it is.

Driving up to the stadium Sunday morning, I thought what a pity it was to not have football in one of my favorite cities in the world anymore. Then I realized that’s an old-man thing to say, and Candlestick was a dump in the truest sense of the word, and life goes on—comfortably, in what feels like a palace, a $1.2 billion venue that is just about paid for in a state that’s supposed to be impossible to create things like this.

Candlestick was a dump, but I'm sure Peter is going to hear from 49ers fans who lived in San Francisco and supported the team since the 1980's (or earlier) who aren't exactly thrilled the team was taken from the San Francisco. The world moves on, that's true, but I'm sure some 49ers have something to say about the team moving to an area of California where it can be closer to a larger variety of corporate interests. Not that San Francisco doesn't have corporate interests of course. San Francisco just wasn't willing to build the 49ers a new stadium. Sorry 49ers fans in San Francisco, the world is changing and money now rules everything, which is totally different from the way the world was five years ago.

“Goodbye old cold foggy, soggy status quo stadium … Hello most technologically advanced fan experience on the planet.”

I'm sure there are plenty of Californians who are pleased the team has gone from San Francisco to a larger tech-headquarters area of the state where the money flows to a wider variety of higher-paying jobs in the technology field.

I’m not a stadium junkie, and I don’t tour many of them.

It sounds like you aren't a stadium junkie, since only 25% of this MMQB's pages are about a new stadium.

So I don’t know if this is the future of stadiums. But walking around Levi’s Stadium on Sunday morning, I certainly thought it should be.

I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS TOPIC I'M ABOUT TO COMMENT ON, BUT TAKE MY COMMENTS SERIOUSLY AS IF I DO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

And I thought how ridiculous it is that the Raiders are playing in the pit they’re playing in, trying to find a home somewhere, anywhere. The San Antonio Raiders? Puh-leeze. Better to relocate to Los Angeles, certainly, if Mark Davis isn’t greedy and he can find a rich financial partner (or buyer) and the city can figure a way to make the business of the NFL work.

Yes, we wouldn't want Mark Davis to be greedy. Maybe he should move the Raiders Santa Clara too! Then the Raiders and 49ers could be roommates!

But here’s a factoid for you: Levi’s Stadium is closer to downtown Oakland than to downtown San Francisco.

That's one more "fuck you" from Peter King to the 49ers fans in San Francisco.

The smartest thing of all would be for the Niners and Raiders, old buddies that they are, to pull a Giants-Jets and share a venue. Why not?

Because Raiders fans smell, will pee on the toilet seat, sit in front of the television all day and then eat all of the food while refusing to replace any of it...plus you know the Raiders are always going to have their friends over late on nights when the 49ers have to wake up early the next day.

There haven’t been many days in the Jim Harbaugh Era you wouldn’t want me to bring that up, but this is one of them. The preseason is a bad precursor for truth, and it’s silly to make too much of a 34-0 loss in August.

Upon reading this sentence, weekly readers of MMQB know that Peter King will now make too much of a 34-0 preseason loss. It's his nature to say something is silly and then do that exact thing.

But San Francisco is a lesser run-defense team without defensive tackle Glenn Dorsey (torn biceps) and run-stuffing linebacker NaVorro Bowman (rehabbing from knee surgery). The Niners will be missing two of their three best defensive players—pass-rusher Aldon Smith (suspension) and Bowman—for at least the first four games of the season. Which means the Niners will have to play Tony Romo, Jay Cutler, the stingy Cardinals and Chip Kelly’s Eagles, at least, with a wounded D. That puts pressure on Colin Kaepernick, who is capable of putting up 30 points regularly. But Kaepernick is going to get hit a lot, and when quarterbacks get hit a lot, they’re subject to injury, and the Niners’ backup passer situation is grim. Blaine Gabbert looks as bad as he ever did in Jacksonville, and he’s got a $2 million guaranteed deal to be an insurance policy, and Harbaugh said Sunday there’d be no cavalry on the way; the backup would be either Gabbert or Josh Johnson.

But again, it's silly to make too much of a preseason loss. Based on the 34-0 preseason game, Peter King has the 49ers without competent backups at two key defensive positions (by the way, remember how Peter King has been tickling Trent Baalke's taint for his wonderful drafting?...what happened to all those great draft picks that Baalke made, couldn't they contribute without Bowman or Smith in the lineup?) and has Colin Kaepernick injured with Blaine Gabbert or Josh Johnson starting for the 49ers. Again, it's silly to overreact, but that 34-0 loss leads Peter to believe the 49ers need to shore up their backup QB situation for when Colin Kaepernick inevitably gets injured after he has to put up 30 points per game to make up for the 49ers defense that can't stop the opponent from scoring 30 points in a game. This is not an overreaction at all to a 34-0 preseason game.

The 49ers are too good, and the coaching staff too smart, to have many days like Sunday in 2014. I wouldn’t worry, yet, if I were a Niners fan. I’d enjoy this era, and this stadium.

(Quick font change I can't seem to fix) 

Yeah, Peter says good luck with Blaine Gabbert as your starting QB. 

Very good young-quarterback weekend—albeit against lesser defenses after the starters were out—for Minnesota rookie Teddy Bridgewater (16-20, 177 yards, two touchdowns, no picks, 136.9 rating) against Arizona, and for Jacksonville’s Blake Bortles (11-17, 160 yards, no touchdowns or interceptions, 95.2 rating) against the Bears. Bridgewater was a little shaky in his first preseason game, and the Vikings seem likely to start the efficient Matt Cassel to begin the season.

No reason to overreact, but I will say I expected that from Teddy Bridgewater. He did have a bad Pro Day, which will be forgotten by guys like Mike Mayock once they need to get back on Bridgewater's good side. One bad Pro Day overshadows everything else Bridgewater did at Louisville for Mayock. 

Granted, it was against backups. That is true. 

The most fascinating situation is in Jacksonville. With two promising performances in a row for Bortles, the draft-day plan to sit this year’s third overall draft pick for most if not all of his freshman autumn now has to be up in the air. I’m told the Jags are still likely to play Chad Henne early in the season, but the plan always was to wait until Bortles was fully ready to take over, having nothing to do with how good or bad Henne played.

Apparently, Peter's source on this issue is every single quote Gus Bradley and David Caldwell have spoken since drafting Blake Bortles. The Jaguars are planning on sitting Blake Bortles for the year or until Chad Henne gets injured. That's the plan and always has been the plan. The idea Bortles is playing well doesn't seem to change the plan, so saying the original plan is still the plan when no Jacksonville GM or coach has given a different indication there was ever a different plan is reporting something that isn't news. Good day, sir. I said, good day!

It’s totally different than what happened with Blaine Gabbert three years ago, when Jacksonville played him before he was ready. Bortles has used the off-season and camp so far to improve his mechanics; he’s not an arm-thrower the way he was at Central Florida.

He throws the football using his mind, not his arm. And Peter knows Blake Bortles is different from Blaine Gabbert because Bortles is ready to play now, based on two preseason games. But don't think Peter is letting what happens in the preseason affect his opinion and cause him to jump to conclusions. He would never do that. 

Much of this is about the mental aspect of the game. My recent 45-minute talk with Jacksonville coach Gus Bradley revealed much of what’s going into Bortles’ head—and into the heads of every Jaguar. “As a coach,” Bradley said, “why do I want to apply anxiety? Why do I want to apply stress? I am trying to slow Blake’s world down, so he can learn everything he needs to learn to be a successful player. The plan is all about getting Blake ready to play.

I understand that Bortles seems ready to play, but until the Jaguars indicate they plan on starting Bortles this season, there is no story here. They are not going to force Bortles into action this season if they don't have to. Apparently this is a very difficult concept to understand for Peter.

Guess what the third and fourth sentences of my conversation with Bortles were, when I asked him how he feels about the Jaguars’ slow-motion plan to make him a franchise quarterback?

Please stop leering at me? You are making me uncomfortable when you stare at my body like that?

It’s hard to be around the Jaguars and not think they’re going to be a good team in 2015.

It's also hard not to think in a division with the Titans, Texans and Colts it won't be a long process to possibly get a Wild Card spot playing in the AFC South. Of course, the NFC West was a shit-show just a few years ago when a 7-9 Seahawks team made the playoffs. So things in the NFL can change quickly...except with the Rams. They need more time for Jeff Fisher to put his master plan together. It seems Peter King believes Michael Sam is the key to that plan, since that's all he could talk about in MMQB when discussing his visit to Rams camp.

Eight quick thoughts from Week 2.

1. Comeback player of the preseason: Mark Sanchez.

Peter is even jumping to conclusions when it comes to handing out preseason awards that don't really exist. But again, Peter doesn't really take what happens in the preseason and prematurely come to any conclusions. He just is naming fake preseason awards prior to the preseason even being over.

4. Quarterback Leadership 101. The quarterback is not allowed tardiness, Johnny Manziel.

Peter isn't going to come to any conclusions since it's only preseason, but this tardiness probably means Manziel isn't as close to taking the QB1 spot away from Brian Hoyer to start the season. After last week's performance, which is only preseason and doesn't count for anything to Peter, Manziel moved up close to a dead heat with Hoyer. But then Manziel was tardy, so Hoyer has increased his chances of starting the season as QB1 now.

7. Storm clouds over East Rutherford. The Giants really looked out of sync on offense, for the second straight week under new offensive coordinator Bob McAdoo. Not sure how you have faith that the Giants will be a serious contender to overtake Philadelphia in the NFC East at this point.

Well, it is preseason, so I'm not sure how anyone can determine what teams are or are not serious contenders for pretty much anything at this point. 

“Points of emphasis” are the three dirty words for defensive players around the league after two weeks of preseason games. But don’t expect the crackdown on defensive clutching and grabbing by the league’s 17 crews to soften once the real games begin in 17 days, league vice president of officiating Dean Blandino said Sunday afternoon.

Then Dean Blandino got back on the party bus with the rest of Cowboys ownership and tried to see if he could get a couple of the hot blondes provided by Jerry Jones to pay attention to him as he explained the finer points of officials calling so many penalties that an NFL game will now last four hours.

“The way the game’s being officiated now is the way it’s going to be officiated when the season begins,” Blandino said from his office in New York. “We have to remain consistent. I knew we’d see a spike in calls when we put out these points of emphasis. But coaches adjust, and players adjust.

That is a fair point. Players and coaches adjust, but the question is whether them having to adjust is good for the NFL game or not.

“Plus, I would say that between 70 and 75 percent of the calls I’ve gotten from teams after their games this preseason are asking the question, Why weren’t there more calls? I had a call today from a team with seven questions, and six were, Why wasn’t a foul called on this play?”

This isn't really proof there could be more calls made, but could be seen as proof that if the NFL is going to open up officiating to less contact downfield then teams are going to find that they believe more penalties should be called regarding penalties downfield. Teams always think they didn't get enough calls, and once the NFL opens up the officiating for more penalties then coaches are naturally going to see more penalties they think should be called.

The league is determined to cut down the amount of sparring beyond the five-yard bump zone. “The jersey-grabbing and holding downfield, especially,” cornerback Joe Haden of the Browns told me the other day. “That’s what they’ve emphasized to us.”

I thought that was a penalty anyway? So the NFL has decided to start calling the penalties that are already in the rulebook? I understand that, but why now? It's not like there has a been downtick in scoring and a little bit of contact between the receiver and the defensive back should be expected.

One assistant coach said recently that if he were advising the receivers on his team, he’d tell them to wear loose, Triple-XL jerseys, to make it easier for defenders to grab. His theory was, why not try to attract penalties if the officials are going to be looking so hard to find the jersey-grabs?

Great, now NBA players and NFL players are going to turn into soccer players and start flopping all over the field when they are touched. I can't imagine how that will get annoying.

Agreed, but however it’s coached, the game’s not going to be as good if, as we just saw this weekend, there are nine more flags, and nine more stoppages of play, in the average NFL game once the real games start.

I hate to agree with Peter King, but I'm not sure how many more stoppages of play I can handle watching NFL games. I already watch my favorite team on DVR because the constant commercial breaks drive me crazy. It's bad enough the kickoff return has almost been eliminated (followed by a commercial break of course) and it feels like there are commercials every few minutes during a game, but now there will potentially be more stoppage time for penalties. I can be patient, and am for expanded replay in the sloooooooooow game of baseball, but I start watching my favorite NFL team play usually about an hour or more into the game having started and I usually catch up before the game is over. It's interesting to see how much stoppage there is during an NFL game and I don't know how I feel about even one more stoppage of play per quarter. Of course, it's not like I'll stop watching.

“I’m very upset. Would you be upset? I was, particularly.”
 
—New Orleans coach Sean Payton, on the second unsportsmanlike-conduct penalty of the game on tight end Jimmy Graham for dunking the football over the goalpost in the Saints-Titans game Friday night.

Payton should be more than upset. He should fine Graham, and do something else to punish him, for such a juvenile act.

Suspend Graham? Should he be suspended for committing two unsportsmanlike-conduct penalties? Isn't this the point where the franchise quarterback and leader of the team (but only the offense, Brees knows NOTHING about what happens on defense...NOTHING at all) should pull Graham aside and say, "Hey Jimmy, you gotta stop doing that shit. You are hurting the team." I mean, Sean Payton shouldn't have to deal with this. Would Peyton Manning or Tom Brady allow one of their teammates to consistently get 15-yard penalties for dunking the football after a touchdown? I hate to go the whole "Would Brady/Manning..." route, but in terms of leadership, I think this should be a Drew Brees intervention. He's the leader of the team and the offense. I don't know why he doesn't tell Graham to just stop it...if Brees does and Graham doesn't listen, then that's a whole new set of issues.

Whatever you feel about it, it’s a selfish, team-defeating act that you know will bring a penalty flag and a 15-yard sanction against your team. Graham has to grow up. And if he won’t, Payton has to do something about it.

While I agree, I think this situation is where the team leadership should step in and prevent Sean Payton from having to deal with this issue. Since Graham is hurting the team, it would be nice if one of the team leaders would say something to Graham. This situation is a great example of why teams have captains. It seems petty for the coach to get involved and since the player is hurting the team, the team leadership can take care of the issue.

Chip Kelly Wisdom of the Week

I posted this on Twitter, so I apologize if some of you see it twice...remember a few weeks ago when Peter King was breathlessly reporting about how Chip Kelly thinks too much pressure is put on draft picks to produce and be great early? Well, here is Chip Kelly talking about Marcus Smith, the Eagles first round draft choice this past May.

Coach Chip Kelly said he saw “bright spots” from Smith against New England, but that there were also moments when he looked “overwhelmed” and that the team needs to get more out of him in general.

“Marcus got a real extended look,” Kelly said, via the Philadelphia Daily News. “He’s got a burst. He’s got some speed coming off the edge. But if you’re going to play that many plays, we’re going to need more production out of you

It would be nice if these quotes were Chip Kelly's Wisdom of the Week, but that would involve Peter acknowledging that everything Chip Kelly says isn't to be written down on a tablet and presented throughout the world as the great truth. Kelly didn't throw Smith under the bus, but remember these are quotes after two preseason games. Of course Chip Kelly thinks rookies are under too much pressure to product immediately, but he's looking for his first round draft pick to make plays and increase his production. It's almost like Kelly is putting pressure on Smith (the Eagles 2014 first round pick) to perform well immediately or something. That couldn't be true, because it would mean Chip Kelly doesn't abide by his wisdom-filled statements at all times.

Kelly spoke last week about the importance of players on the 90-man roster taking advantage of whatever chances they get during practice and preseason games:
“We’d love to get more reps but we are also not going to be on the field for four hours. As we say, ‘Don’t count your reps. Make your reps count.’ When you’re out there, take advantage of them.  Your answer can’t be, ‘Well, I’m not playing well because I didn’t get enough reps.’ If you only get three reps, make those three reps the best reps you can.’’

Is this wisdom really? It sounds like a thing that a head coach would say. I think the whole "wisdom" thing with Chip Kelly has gone overboard, especially when some of his wisdom is advice he doesn't follow himself. 

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

We walked into the lobby of the Holiday Inn Express, with the Tuesday USA Today and Cleveland Plain Dealer on the counter for those checking out. One problem. “We don’t have any reservations for you,” the front-desk gal said. We checked with our travel agent. Seems the reservation was made for Aug. 18, not Aug. 11. Next Monday.

Rest assured that travel agent has either been murdered, or if he is lucky, simply fired at this point. No one messes up Peter's travel schedule and gets a second chance to do it again. Peter does not enjoy staying in a crappy hotel at night. Do you know who he is? 

Of course, this is the part where I would remind Peter that he is traveling in an RV. It's almost like one of those RV's thingies could be used for sleeping purposes in a pinch. 

With no rooms available, our intrepid tour manager, Andy DeGory, got on the phone and found us rooms at the nearby Howard Johnson’s Motor Lodge.

The carpet on the floor stopped. The floor for the last half of the hallway was just cement. The place smelled. Just get in the room, just get in the room … How bad could sleeping be for 90 minutes? I thought. I put the key in my door and opened it.

And there was Brett Favre standing in the room. Reunited again. It feels so good.

The room looked trashed—either under construction or trashed. It was dark; I couldn’t exactly tell. And this voice from inside, weakly, waffled: “I’m … in … here.” Like some dying ghost.

Uh-oh Peter, just leave the money on the nightstand when you are done. And here Peter thought it was going to be a bad night, but when he gets to his room the HoJo has set him up for a little night time entertainment/activity.

Whoa! I closed the door. I went to the lobby.
 
“Might be a good idea when you give me the key to a room that there won’t be another person in it,” I said.
 
“W-w-w-what?” the front-deskman said.

Well there you go, HoJo Motor Lodge, you have lost Peter King's recommendation and he will now bash you in MMQB. On a side note, your coffee was delicious and Peter appreciates the light scent of honey that was prevalent in all nine cups he drank.

“Can you just give me a room? Any room without a person in it?” I said.
 
He did, and I went to another room at the Howard Johnson Motor Lodge, so happy to be at the Howard Johnson Motor Lodge, and praying that no living thing would be in the room.

Except Chip Kelly. It would be nice if Chip Kelly were in the room so that he could impart some of his wisdom to Peter in this extremely difficult time.

So I wouldn’t give the Howard Johnson Motor Lodge on the southern fringe of Cleveland a very high recommendation this morning.

I don't know. It sounds like the guy/girl who was in the room Peter was originally assigned was having a good enough time of it.

Ten Things I Think I Think

2. I think I have no idea why so many saw Santonio Holmes as toxic. He’s been mildly disruptive in his NFL career, but not a cancer. I think the Bears made a good signing there.

In his NFL career, Holmes has a marijuana possession charge, was benched twice by Mike Tomlin, served a four game suspension for violation of the substance abuse policy, benched by the Jets for arguing with a teammate, had an incident at a nightclub that led to the Steelers trading him, and has 46 receptions over the last two seasons. I don't think he's toxic, but he has become a fairly unproductive, injured player who had quite a few "mild" disruptions in his NFL career. A lot of teams just didn't think his production was worth having him on the team taking up a roster spot. I think I understand it. Of course, he could still be productive with a non-shitty QB throwing him the ball, so there's that too.

3. I think I have one name to keep in mind as the Pro Football Hall of Fame senior committee gathers this week in Canton to nominate one old-timer for election to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, class of 2015: Mick Tingelhoff. Think of Tingelhoff’s greatest accomplishment: For the last 358 games of his 17-year career—99 preseason games, 240 regular-season games, 19 postseason games—Tingelhoff started.

99 preseason games? And I think the preseason is too long now? That's almost six preseason games per year compared to only about 14 regular season games per season during Tingelhoff's career.

7. I think this was the reaction of one scout upon leaving the Broncos-Niners game: “Very strange. San Francisco looked tired. I wonder if they’ve been beating themselves up in practice. They were just off. But it’s a classic case of not putting too much stock into preseason games. If they had to play a game tomorrow, they’re still one of the top three or five teams in football. I would worry about the backup quarterback situation though.”

NO! Peter King says the 49ers should panic, though of course he's not putting too much stock into preseason games.

8. I think if Peyton Manning made playing quarterback any easier, he’d be sleeping.

I think the Seattle Seahawks would have something to say about this comment.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. Such a sad week.

Deep thought alert!

b. Robin Williams’ death by suicide drives home what a serious illness depression is. 

Who knew depression was so serious? Peter didn't. This is a wake-up call to everyone that depression is really, really serious. Peter gets sad thinking about how serious depression is. 

For all those who suffer from it, and for those who don’t always realize how hopeless depressed people can feel, I hope Williams’ death causes a re-examination of depression specifically and mental health in general.

Yes, now there should be a re-examination of mental health, after Robin Williams commits suicide. Maybe the rash of school shootings should also cause a re-examination of depression and mental health in general as well. Considering Peter is very concerned about the gun aspect of the school shootings, perhaps he should have considered the mental health aspect of the shootings. Many of those shooters probably weren't exactly right in their head. But since this is America, I'm guessing the fact a celebrity killed himself will drive the importance of mental health home more than anything else.

c. Tremendous story by Richard Corliss in Time magazine, on the death of Williams and appreciation of his life. What a terrific job, too, considering news of Williams’ death spread around dinnertime in New York on Monday evening, and Corliss’ brilliant elegy was in my mailbox on Thursday morning.

There was 15 pages in "Time" about Robin Williams. 15 pages. I am always afraid of coming off as insensitive, but that's a bit excessive. He's a celebrity. Good for him. There has to be better and more important news to spend 25% of the magazine space covering.

I realize we live in a celebrity-obsessed society, so I realize 15 pages of Robin Williams will sell more magazines than anything else I actually subscribe to "Time" to read. It's just...it seemed excessive and it doesn't surprise me that Peter King eats it up.

Not had enough hero-worship from Peter King about Philip Seymour-Hoffman? Good, here's more!

d. At the time of his heroin-overdose death in February at 46, Philip Seymour Hoffman was, in my opinion, the greatest actor in our country. On Friday, I went to the last movie in which he played a lead role, a German spymaster named Gunther Bachmann, in “A Most Wanted Man.” The premise is interesting—that disagreements and rivalries between international spy agencies helped Mohammed Atta and associates hatch and develop the plot for the 9/11 attacks on the United States in Hamburg, Germany. After 9/11, Hoffman’s character is chasing a Chechen man identified by sources as a probable terrorist, and his search for him and for a money-launderer far more dangerous, and his butting of heads with rival spymeisters makes a for a taut, fast story. And as I sat there and watched the chain-smoking, hard-drinking Hoffman do some of his best work, I thought how sad it was that we won’t see 20 more examples of the man’s brilliance on the screen. 

Philip Seymour Hoffman is the greatest actor in our country, at least until another actor dies, at which point Peter will anoint that person as the greatest actor of his generation. Also, it is sad there won't be 20 more examples of Hoffman's brilliance on screen, but these are the things that happen when you use drugs to excess. There are probably a million other people who are more worthy of Peter's sympathies that have something to give to society, but because those people don't pretend to be someone else on a screen then Peter doesn't give a shit about these people.

Robin Williams dies, and Philip Seymour Hoffman gives us two hours of what we’ll be missing over the next quarter-century. What a bummer.

Yes, a true bummer. It's also a bummer for Hoffman's/Williams' children that they no longer have a parent around and it's a bummer for the hundreds of other people in the United States who suffer from depression or use drugs and won't be eulogized except with a small paragraph in a newspaper because they can't pretend to be someone else for money very well.

John Feinstein thinks Philip Seymour Hoffman shouldn't be in the Acting Hall of Fame because Hoffman was too much of a pussy to not die from using drugs. 

h. Thus, you’re wrong if you think the Ice Bucket Challenge is a bunch of mularkey. It’s working, to raises awareness and research money.

I think it's a little bit of mularkey and that some people do it just to dump ice over their head. I did participate but only because I got challenged to do so. It wasn't so bad and it did lead to two people who didn't want to do it paying $200 (total) to the ALS Foundation. So some good does come of it.

i. Coffeenerdness: Very nice coffee in the Levi’s Stadium press box. Peet’s. Not sure the blend, but it’s dark, and it’s good.

Great. My life is now more complete knowing this.

n. Thanks, Michael Beschloss, for reminding us that Roberto Clemente, had he lived, would have turned 80 today.

Thank you for being the only person with the memory to remind "us" that Clemente would have turned 80 today. Fortunately the only holder of his information is generous enough to share it.

The Adieu Haiku
 
Peyton is ageless.
The best man on field Sunday,
and he’s 38.

Let's see, Peyton Manning is 38 years old and is still playing at a high level. If this were baseball then the articles that state "Peyton Manning may be on steroids" would already be written. But it's Peyton Manning so of course he doesn't use steroids. Steroids are only used in baseball and only used to hit a lot of home runs.*

*And no, I don't believe Peyton Manning uses steroids. I think it's funny how much speculation would go into an athlete who still plays at the top of his game at the age of 38 in baseball. It takes almost nothing these days, other than to hit home runs, for some enterprising sportswriter to write a "I'm not saying he is on steroids, but I will strongly hint at it" column.

6 comments MMQB Review: Kickers are People Too Edition

Peter King has followed up his power rankings debacle from last week with power rankings that seem to make a little more sense and Peter has us feeling uplifted by the exploits of NeckBeard and the rest of the Colts team. Peter also details Shahid Khan's attempts to grow the Jacksonville Jaguars base in other countries, where the citizenry are less prone to know the direction the Jaguars team seems to be trending. Apparently Khan wants to see a lot of Jacksonville Jaguars shirts in Ireland, but only fill the stadium to 60% capacity in Jacksonville. One piece of good news is that Peter has promised his editors he isn't providing any political commentary...then Peter gives political commentary in the very next sentence after stating he wouldn't be giving any.

There are a lot of stories in the naked city this morning -- 

Peter, are you lost and naked in the city again?

the Brees ascension over the great Unitas, 

"The Brees Ascension." It sounds like a faith-based movie about Drew Brees life and the hard times he endured during his free agency year in 2006 when he was desperately searching for an NFL team to give him the most guaranteed money in a contract. He could do better than the 5 year $50 million incentive-laden deal the Chargers were offering. Brees had to keep faith a team wouldn't pay him to perform and would give him guaranteed money. It's a very uplifting story of how one man went from really wealthy to really, really wealthy against the odds.

 the 49ers playing like the '66 Packers, the air being let out of the Buffalo Counterfeit Bills, Eric Winston in a rage, Wes Welker with a needle, Chicago playing piranha defense, Minnesota shocking the world, Atlanta off to the best start in its history -- but there is one story that stands above them all. The story is the game of the year.

At least until next week when there will be a completely different "game of the year." Games of the year tend to happen on a near-weekly basis sometimes.

Halftime score in Indianapolis: Packers 21, Colts 3.
Final score in Indianapolis: Chuck Pagano 30, Packers 27.

At least Peter isn't being overly-dramatic about this victory for the Colts. It's pretty hard to be snarky about a guy who has leukemia, even if this story isn't exactly about Chuck Pagano specifically. Still, writing "Chuck Pagano 30, Packers 27" is the type of thing even Hallmark movies wouldn't touch.

Indy, however, left Aaron Rodgers 35 seconds. And no matter how the crowd and the Colts sideline wished time, just this once, could fly, Green Bay got in position for a 51-yard field-goal try by Mason Crosby with eight seconds left. Crosby had plenty of leg to make the kick.

"I just thought, 'If there's a God in heaven, I pray he misses this,'' said Arians.

I am sure one of God's biggest priorities right now in regard to the 2012 Indianapolis Colts team is to ensure this kick by Mason Crosby missed.

Crosby seemed like he got a good kick on it. But something insane happened a millisecond later, inside a retractable-roof stadium with the dome closed this day. The ball veered left so fast and so far about 20 yards into the kick ... it was like an immense gust of wind showed up just then and pushed the kick impossibly left. 

Clearly this was the spirit of Chuck Pagano, despite the fact he is alive, pushing the ball to the left.

Yet there was no wind -- the ball just shot to the left for some very odd, somebody-up-there-likes-Chuck reason, a shankapotamus if there ever were one.

So I guess the same God that didn't give a shit whether Joe Philbin won a playoff game as the Packers offensive coordinator last year just days after his son's death, was the one who pushed this kick to the left? That's how God works, he takes time to meddle in the affairs of certain sporting events, but not other sporting events. Or does God just hate the Green Bay Packers?

1. Drew Brees did it again. First, two historic preambles: Devery Henderson caught the pass Brees threw to break John Unitas' 52-year-old record for consecutive games with a touchdown pass. Henderson wears No. 19. Unitas wore 19.

Again, God at work. Clearly. There is no such thing as a coincidence in situations like this.

And the only team in history to start 0-4 and make the playoffs was the 1992 Chargers.
 
And Johnny Unitas played for the Chargers. Coincidence? I think not.

The 2012 Chargers were in the house Sunday night, and the Saints -- formerly 0-4 -- scratched and clawed and Breesed their way to a 31-24 win, with the savvy QB throwing four touchdown passes in all, three to Marques Colston.

Marques Colston is constantly scoring touchdowns and Johnny Unitas' middle name? You guessed it. Constantine. There are so many coincidences I have created here I would be shocked if there isn't a higher power at work.

Understand something about Brees: He feels inextricably tied to Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis, because in 2006, when Nick Saban's Dolphins were skeptical about Brees' preparedness for the season due to major shoulder surgery, they stuck their necks out and committed $60 million over six years to sign him in New Orleans. That's why Brees emailed Commissioner Roger Goodell eight days ago, asking for papal dispensation so Payton and Loomis and the also-suspended Joe Vitt could attend this game.

This is also why Drew Brees was so quick to sign a contract extension with the Saints this offseason, so he could continue to play for Sean Payton. The contract extension this offseason got done quickly, right?

2. The 49ers are some scary dudes. Until San Francisco's 45-3 rout of the Bills, no team in NFL history had ever rushed for more than 300 yards and passed for more than 300 yards in the same game. The Niners rushed for 311 and passed for 310. Watching bits and pieces of this game, the one thing you can tell is how varied Alex Smith's weapons are. He's so much more equipped to run a diverse offense than he was last year.

I've been wrong about one or two things in my life, but so far it looks like I was very wrong about Jim Harbaugh. I was quick to criticize media members who proclaimed him the next great head coach in the NFL. Now while I still think they were quick to say what a great coach he was going to be before he coached one game (see: Schiano, Greg), I underestimated how good he was at straightening out quarterbacks and how the 49ers were a competent quarterback away from being a really good team.

3. The best division in football? Don't laugh. Every team in the NFC West is above .500, and the composite record of the division is 14-6. No other division is close. I thought the NFC South could be a powerhouse. Nope; 8-11. Now that the Rams have a defense, all four teams out west can hold teams down. Good defense travels. I can see the West keeping it up the entire year.

I'm pretty sure the NFC West can't keep up a 70% winning percentage all year, especially since those NFC West teams still have to play each other multiple times before the season is over.

4. Welker slams Belichick ... or did he? Really: You be the judge. Watch this clip on Comcast SportsNet New England and see Wes Welker, prodded by host Mike Felger, answer how it felt catching 13 balls Sunday against Denver, versus the three he caught when it looked like the Patriots and coach Bill Belichick were featuring others in Week 1. "It's kind of nice to stick it in Bill's face every once in a while,'' Welker said. "So this is definitely a good one." You see Welker wink at the camera slightly.

I'm inclined to think he definitely has some hurt feelings over how he was used in Week 1 (five targets, three catches, 14 yards) and as one Patriot press box wag suggested: "The truth is often spoken in jest. Not sure Belichick will find it as funny.''

Two days from now we will find Wes Welker's bruised and battered body in a dumpster about a mile from Gillette Stadium. The only evidence found at the scene of the crime was two fibers that appear to have come from a gray hoodie and a Patriots playbook with Welker's routes all diagrammed in blood.

7. The NFC North is not exactly what we expected. The Bears are not a big surprise, particularly when you consider they have the most opportunistic defense in football -- as many touchdowns on interception returns (five) as their backs have rushing touchdowns. Wait until Jay Cutler gets hot.

By "hot" does Peter mean wait until Jay Cutler punches an offensive lineman in the face instead of merely pushing him? Or by "hot" does Peter mean Cutler is able to stay warm during the cold Chicago games by using the thin layer of baby fat around his body to keep warm?

All you who thought the Vikings would be two games up on the Packers after five weeks, raise your hand. (Wilfs, you don't count.) Minnesota has a tolerable schedule too. That division is going to have a riotous pennant race.

It will be a raucous pennant race. The turbulence of this pennant race will be shocking to the everyday person. Also, why is Peter calling it a "pennant race" when it refers to football? I'm pretty sure this phrase usually applies only to baseball.

9. The Danny Amendola story made Kevin Demoff faint. You probably heard the story that Rams Chief Operating Officer Kevin Demoff fainted during a staff meeting Friday. He was hospitalized and found to be in fine health. A fluky thing.

Demoff probably fainted because he heard the Rams top two receivers are Brandon Gibson and Austin Pettis or because he found out Sam Bradford is still throwing them the football.

The owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Shahid Khan, flies to London this week to begin the serious business of promoting his team to a British audience.

It makes sense. Now that the Jags are alienating their Jacksonville fan base, someone has to buy tickets to Jaguars games. Why not have a bunch of unsuspecting foreigners be the easy bait?

More importantly, is this some sort of outsourcing to find a fan base? First, foreigners take all of our American jobs overseas and now foreigners are stealing the joy we derive from our sports teams. You can't outsource joy, Mr. Khan!

Khan is determined that the Jaguars become England's NFL team, and perhaps Europe's, over the next few years, and he sees it as part of the plan of the Jaguars' long-term future in Jacksonville.

All joking aside, this isn't a terrible idea, though I do wonder why Khan is so intent on expanding the Jags fan base overseas while the Jacksonville fan base seems to be the one Khan should be courting heavily.

It seems outlandish to think of Londoners taking road trips to Jacksonville to see an American football game. But what if it's a Jacksonville-golf-Disney World-South Beach combo platter week of fun? Who knows if the Jaguars can dent the English sports scene, or the European one. But the Pakistani-born Khan's going to try.

Again, I get the idea. I don't know how I would feel if my favorite NFL team's owner decided he wanted to own the official team of England while expecting the fan base in America to support the team when he sends one home game per year over the next four seasons to England. Maybe it's just me, but I would feel a little betrayed. NFL teams only get eight home games in a year, not counting preseason games, and Khan wants to take one of those home games away to grow the team overseas? I wouldn't be too happy about this as a Jags fan.

Khan is so bullish on the prospect of the team's reach into Europe that he told me it's "highly likely'' Jacksonville may eventually play two home games a year in Europe. 

This would make me even more angry. Why should I as a fan of the Jags support the team and buy tickets to games when it is clear we aren't a priority in Jacksonville? Sure, it is great to grow the fan base, but the Jags fans have supported the team since 1995. Maybe Khan should work hard to draw a good Jacksonville-based crowd to games.

Now, if you're a Jaguars fan, before getting apoplectic over the prospect of losing a second home game per season, understand that this is all about fanbase-building, revenue generation and, eventually, free agent and guaranteed-money competition with the league's haves.

I get it, but there is a salary cap in the NFL. Maybe Quarterback X will want to sign with the Jaguars because they are a more global brand, but I have a hard time believing English fans are going to make the trip over to America to watch Jaguars games to the point this is part of what keeps the Jaguars in Jacksonville.

His home market won't take kindly to losing a second home game, and he's going to have to find a way to finesse that to his fans. But I look at it like I look at the market closest to Jacksonville (TV market size: 47), which is 51st-rated Buffalo. Bills fans have to accept that to have a chance to keep the franchise in Buffalo long-term, cultivating the Toronto market is vital.

Other than the fact these are two different things of course and probably aren't very comparable situations, this is a great comparison.

The Jacksonville dalliance with London is totally different, obviously;

Apparently this isn't so obvious since Peter just compared these two situations to each other.

Khan's outside-the-box thinking is a double-edged sword. But I'm not sure the Jags are in Jacksonville in 15 years with conventional thinking.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding the issue. The issue with the Jaguars staying in Jacksonville is there isn't enough support (revenue) coming from the franchise to justify keeping them in Jacksonville. Is Khan trying to move the Jags overseas or is he trying to get overseas support in America for the Jags? I get the idea of using a world market to ramp up interest in a sport, but because fans in the United States like the Premier League does that mean these fans are going to travel to the city of their favorite NFL team often enough to support the team staying in that city? It seems to me like expanding overseas is a great idea overall for the NFL, but not specifically to solve any woes an NFL team has from playing in a specific city.

Fine Fifteen

14. Arizona (4-1). I can't see how this team makes the playoffs with that offensive line.

What a fall for the Cardinals. They lost to the #13 team in Peter's Fine Fifteen and then got knocked down to #14 from #5 last week.

The Colts have gotten very lucky with this Luck guy.

Remember, you have to be a very experienced sportswriter to write things like this and get paid six figures for doing so.

"If I were you, I would learn how to be a little bit nicer. I know you don't care and nor do I care if I ever sit down and do an interview with you -- which I have yet to do. Maybe there's a reason for that. I like everybody. I'd like to like you but right now I don't like you. Grow up, young man."

-- Terry Bradshaw on Jay Cutler, on the FOX pregame show Sunday.

Oh yeah, tough talk from Terry Bradshaw to Jay Cutler through the television set on a pregame show there is a 0% chance Cutler was watching. While I do think Jay Cutler is a dipshit, I like how Terry Bradshaw tells Cutler he needs to be nicer, and then tells Cutler he doesn't care if ever does an interview with him despite not knowing him at all. Basically the moral of this lesson from Terry Bradshaw is he doesn't like Jay Cutler despite not knowing him, he doesn't care to know him, and this is supposed to be some sort of message that Jay Cutler will heed. There is a reason I don't watch pregame shows and crap like this is one of those reasons. The whole "tough talk to an NFL player through the television" schtick got old 15 years ago.

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 5:

b. Chris Long, rushing the passer like the second pick in the draft.

Longtime readers of this blog probably remember how much Peter King liked Chris Long back when he was drafted by the Rams. I thought Chris Long was going to have to get a restraining order against Peter.

m. Well, I'll be darned: Sunday was the third time in Alex Smith's eight-year career that he had a 300-yard passing game. Regardless of what you think of Smith, it's amazing in this age that any quarterback who's played a lot in eight years has only three of those.

I'm not sure "amazing" is the word that I would look to use in this situation, especially coming from the #1 pick in a draft. What is amazing to me is that Smith is only 28 years old. I feel like he has been in the NFL for 15 years.

2. I think this is what I didn't like about Week 5:

a. Percy Harvin the special teams player of the month for September? Way off the mark. Nine players returned kicks for touchdowns in the month. Harvin was one of them. Greg Zuerlein (12 of 12 in field goals, seven from beyond 45 yards in the month) had one of the best months a kicker has ever had. Harvin shouldn't be penalized for being Harvin and being taken for granted, but he didn't have nearly as impactful a month as Zuerlein did.

Last week Peter named Greg Zuerlein his Offensive Rookie of the Year and this week he is livid, livid I tell you, that nine players returned kicks for touchdowns in September and one of these players was named special teams player of the month for September. I wonder if Peter realizes 31 other kickers made field goals during the month of September?

I know, I know, Zuerlein's accuracy is impressive, but Harvin is #1 in the NFL in kick return average at 38.3 yards on nine returns. Peter is telling me 38 yards per kick return isn't impactful when it comes to Minnesota being 4-1? It's nearly impossible to say which player was more impactful, but Harvin has been the best kick returner in the NFL for the month of September and has consistently given the Vikings great field position. He is a big reason the Vikings are 4-1.

g. Ray Lewis, who really got pushed around by the Chiefs. That weight loss looks like it's hurting him a lot. He just isn't a factor against the run the way he used to be.

Or it could be that time is just catching up with him. That's not it though because the obvious answer couldn't be the correct answer. Lewis is 37 years old. I know he lost weight, but maybe it is a combination of the weight loss and age that causes him not be a factor against the run.

3. I think Andy Reid, after watching Mike Vick lose two more fumbles in the first quarter at Pittsburgh, has to be thinking about benching Vick. Not today, but soon, if Vick can't hold onto it. That's 11 turnovers in the first 17 quarters of the season.

For who? Which quarterback on the Eagles roster is a better option right now than Mike Vick? Vick fumbles way too often, but I'm not sure there is a quarterback on the Eagles roster that gives them a better chance to win a game. Nick Foles or Trent Edwards? I'm not sure either is the answer.

5. I think this will be my last dispatch from the Replacement Officials Front: I had a conversation with Jim Core, the NAIA ref, World Geography teacher and public school activities director from Meridian, Idaho, and came away thinking: The NFL's lucky the first three weeks of this season weren't more of a debacle.

Three other observations from Core: He didn't like how hard and how intensely Tampa Bay coach Greg Schiano worked the crew during the Giants-Bucs game in Week 2 and called the crashing of the Victory Formation "something you'd see at a high school level.''

Which as an official during NAIA games he would know something about officiating football at the high school level.

Core's crew had the Chargers twice, and he said Philip Rivers "was pretty much a jerk''

That can't be true because the mainstream sports media tells me the only jerk quarterback in the NFL is Jay Cutler.

7. I think this is another example of the absolute folly of the NFL even thinking about an 18-game schedule: The Jets play Houston tonight. Mark Sanchez will likely be without his top two wideouts (Santonio Holmes and Stephen Hill) and his starting tight end (Dustin Keller.) Moreover, four of his eligible pass catchers were picked up off the street by the Jets. This is Week 5. You can't in good conscience think about expanding the regular season. You just can't.

I thought the NFL had dropped all ideas of an 18 game season? They just won't let that go, will they? I don't see how the NFL can claim to be concerned about the long-term health of the players and want to extend the season by two games. I don't care if they want to eliminate two preseason games. The intensity in a preseason game and a regular season game is completely different. For me, claiming to care about player safety and then increasing the regular season by two games (absent a rule saying players can only play in 16 games during a season) are mutually exclusive.

b. Bobby V whacked. Now there's a stunner.

The Red Sox are so cursed. They experienced their first below .500 season since 1997. It's all Bobby Valentine's fault naturally.

d. Quote of the Week, and the quote for all weeks, comes from Adam Greenberg, after his strikeout against R.A. Dickey of the Mets, in his celebrated at-bat for the Marlins the other night, the at-bat that took seven years to materialize. "I don't care what's gone on the last seven years. It's all worth it for this moment. It's going to last for an eternity for me.''

My only issue with this at-bat, and this is typical Marlins behavior, is they had Greenberg not only bat against one of the best pitchers in the National League, but one of the best pitchers in the National League who throws a knuckleball. Give the guy a fighting chance at the plate, won't you?

e. Runner-up for baseball quote of the week goes to the departing Chipper Jones, after he made an important error in the Braves' Wild Card loss to St. Louis Friday: "My heart is broken. Not for me, but for my teammates, my coaching staff and these fans who have been so great to us this year.''

f. There's a guy baseball will miss.

Yep. I had ignored it all year, but it is going to be very weird not seeing #10 standing at third base (or on the bench nursing an injury) squinting and talking out the side of his mouth. I think he was out in his final at-bat because Aaron Craig had stepped on the bag at first before Chipper did, but no way the umpire was calling Chipper out to end the game and his career, especially after that infield fly rule was called.

Talk about a tough situation for an umpire. On a bang-bang play is he really calling Chipper Jones out at first base to end Chipper's career, eliminate the Braves from the playoffs, and there be a 5% chance Chipper was safe? No way. He was out and I'm glad the Braves complete ineffectiveness with runners in scoring position meant this call didn't change the game.

h. He makes a good case. I would still probably vote for Cabrera, whose team made the playoffs while Trout's did not, and who volunteered to move from first to third so the Tigers could sign Prince Fielder, meaning that I think there should be an asterisk next to his fielding statistics. But it's very close, and I see the Trout side more clearly because of Pete's explanation.

Let's not act like Miguel Cabrera was an excellent first baseman either. There is no need for an asterisk because even if Cabrera was playing first base he wouldn't have nearly been the fielder that Trout is.

i. So what was a worse call -- the Golden Tate touchdown by the replacement side judge in Seattle two weeks ago, or the infield-fly rule call Friday night in Atlanta? I say Golden Tate. In the baseball call, by the wording of the rule, the shortstop could have caught the ball by making "ordinary effort,'' as the baseball rule states. We see shortstops making that sort of play nightly in baseball. Maybe three times a night. Does the left fielder call him off sometimes? Yes. But that play is an ordinary baseball play, even if it's 50 feet behind where the shortstop might normally play.

One major issue with Peter's line of thought...if this type of play happens three times in a night, then how come there is rarely an infield-fly rule called? I've never seen an infield-fly rule called at that spot in the outfield. I say this as a fan of baseball, not a Braves fan. So even if Peter is right it was an ordinary effort, I still don't think the infield-fly rule was the correct call. The purpose of the infield-fly rule was betrayed by the lateness of the call and depth of the fly ball. Even if the umpire made the infield-fly rule call as soon as he believed it qualified, the ball was already on the way down. Once the ball is on the way down, the umpire should not make a call because it is unfair to the fielder and the runners. The infield-fly rule is intended to protect the defense from getting an easy double play. In that situation if Holliday or Pete Kozma had caught the ball, there was very little chance of a double play in that situation. In fact, I would submit it would have taken "ordinary effort" (see what I did there) to even get one out in that situation since the Braves runners were already part of the way to their next base and the ball was so deep in the outfield.

So even if the call was correct in regard to "ordinary effort," which I don't believe it was, the infield-field fly was called too late and there was no chance of the Cardinals dropping the ball and getting a double play. Infield-fly rule is never called in that situation. Just so Peter knows, since he apparently fashions himself a baseball expert, in certain baseball parks like Fenway Park that ball is a lazy fly to left field. So his whole explanation doesn't make sense to me because whether it is an "ordinary effort" play or not depends on the park the game is being played in as well. I think infield-fly rule needs to be called in the infield or near the edge of the infield. Obviously there is no rule saying this has to be done, but I would hope common sense tells us what is a lazy fly ball in one stadium can be a Texas Leaguer in another stadium. For me, that ball was too deep in the outfield and the very purpose of the rule (to protect the runners) was betrayed by the depth of the fly ball and the timing of the umpire's call.

This call wasn't what lost the game for the Braves. It didn't help of course, but they lost the game with their errors and terrible situational hitting.

I wouldn't have blamed the ump if he didn't make the call, but I don't think -- as the rule is written -- that it was a bad call.

If it wasn't a bad call, then it was a call that is never made at that point in the outfield.

m. Of course I watched the presidential debate. But I've told my editors I wouldn't be throwing out any partisan or non-partisan opinions on the race. Sorry. I know how many of you look forward to my well-informed take on politics.

We all know, now that Peter has said he won't give an opinion on politics, Peter is immediately going to give his opinion on politics.

n. So would I be allowed to say that the annual cost to every man, woman and child in the United States for PBS is $1.35, or should I keep that to myself?

I get it! Peter is asking a question as to whether he should ask a question, but by asking the question on whether he should ask the question he is really asking the question he wants to ask. Creative!

s. No desire to see the final days of The Office. Not even DVRing it. Am I wrong?

Wrong? Yes, you are wrong about quite a few things. Wrong about not DVRing "The Office?" That's up to you.

The Adieu Haiku

Hoosierville drama:
Legend grows for Mr. Luck.
He won one for Chuck.

Who requested Peter end each MMQB with a haiku? This person needs to be hanged. 

2 comments MMQB Review: Sean Payton Doesn't Love Peter King Anymore Edition

When we last left Peter King he was transcribing entire Paul Brown speeches, describing how he and his wife stalked two innocent people throughout Europe, and realizes now it probably wasn't classless for Penn State to fire Joe Paterno by phone. This week Peter has started his training camp tours and the results of the absolute positivity coming from every single team because actual play has not started yet was very revealing for Peter. It's amazing how many positive-sounding nuggets of insight you can come up in late July when every team believes they have a chance to win the Super Bowl. Everyone believes they can win the Super Bowl when it is late summer and preseason games haven't started yet. Also, Drew Brees states to Peter that none of the players trust Roger Goodell, which is funny coming from the quarterback of the NFL team that put a bounty on fellow NFL players. Not to be dramatic, but the Saints sort of broke the trust of their fellow NFL players. Did Peter really expect Drew Brees, who has essentially covered his eyes and ears to any of the truth around the Saints bounty program to like Roger Goodell? I think Brees uses his child as his Twitter avatar so maybe when he Tweets stupid shit (like comparing the bounty scandal to the search evidence of WMDs in Iraq) people will be less prone to dislike him.

I'll get to the upstart Cardinals, the recharged Chargers, Drew Brees tsk-tsk-ing the commissioner, what Peyton Manning hates and the third-round pick who leads all rookies in charisma

Charisma is completely measurable by the way. This is in no way hyperbole. Peter King leads the world in loftiness. I'm not lying by stating this.

You want football. You want to see what I've seen. Five quickies from my first five camps

Apparently Peter saw five quickies in five training camps. After he and his wife stalked a couple around Europe last week, I'm starting to become concerned about Peter's extracurricular activities.

Sign of the Week: In San Diego GM A.J. Smith's office is this gem in a frame, from Winston Churchill: "History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it." Question is, Is Smith's Charger book on the last chapter?

(lightning strikes) Da-da-da-dum.

Fantasy Tips of the Week (which you should take with a shaker of salt):

And yet, Peter continues to give these fantasy tips. He knows he isn't good at something, yet he keeps on trying while ignoring all evidence to the contrary. He's like the Backup QB Jets of sportswriters in this way.

Wouldn't be surprised if, after Larry Fitzgerald, the Cardinal with the best receiving numbers will be Rob Housler. Get to know him. Tight end. Ken Whisenhunt loves him.

It's a good thing the Cardinals didn't spend a first round pick on a wide receiver this year then. That would be embarrassing if a second-year tight end drafted in the third round had more receiving yards than the Cardinals first round draft pick has. It's not like you want your receiver drafted in the first round to catch more passes than a tight end who caught 12 passes in his first year in the NFL.

Idiot of the Week: Me, for thinking that driving from Flagstaff, Ariz., to San Diego was a good idea. Seven hours and one scary pitch-dark encounter with a feral cat in a Gila Bend McDonald's parking lot later (don't ask; I will only further embarrass myself),

Hey, fuck you feral cat. Peter has taken on Starwood Preferred Members and the concierge desk at multiple Hilton Hotels around the country. He's not afraid of you.

If you blinked, you missed it. Or if you were gazing at the imposing San Francisco Peaks just north of the practice field in this lovely college town, you could have missed it too. Ryan Williams, who'd provided so much hope for the Cardinals' running game last summer before rupturing his patella tendon in a preseason game, took a handoff up the middle in the first practice of the summer. Then the second-round draft pick out of Virginia Tech in 2011 did something he hadn't done in 49 weeks: He juked one defender left while planting and cutting right, then did the exact opposite -- juke right, cut left. The crowd oooohed.

"Yeah,'' said Kolb. "But three, four cuts, after an injury like that. To trust your knee to make moves like that ... Wow."

On the field, Williams was reliving the play over and over, as reporters crowded around him. I asked if he'd heard the "Li'l Sweetness'' shoutout.

"I heard it,'' he said. "I heard it. Felt good.''

Cancel the season. The Super Bowl has been won already. Ryan Williams made a tough cut in practice and didn't blow his knee out. Now all he has to do is replicate this in a game 300 times and the Cardinals will be the last team standing with Kevin Kolb/John Skelton holding the Super Bowl trophy as the Super Bowl MVP and one of their names will be used in place of "Trent Dilfer" when asked to name an average quarterback who has won a Super Bowl.

Drew Brees has something on his chest.

A huge mole?

If you think the mayhem around the Saints is going to send them to 5-11ville, you're nuts. Too much talent. Too good a triggerman.

Thank you for clearing up the misconception that very few people had. I hate to see the JemeHill school of journalism has taken hold outside of the walls of ESPN. This school of journalism is where a sportswriter disproves an assumption that "everyone" is making, even though few people are actually making this assumption.

"If you think Sean Payton is going to retire and move to Vermont where he can legally marry Kenny Chesney, then you don't know Sean Payton. He will still coach in the NFL after he serves his year-long suspension."

There's a drill the offensive skill players run early in practice, with quarterbacks getting the ball out to sprinting receivers and tight ends quickly. It's a nonstop, ping-ping-ping, one-throw-after-the-other completion-fest, and Brees, by my count, threw 18 balls in a row that his receivers barely had to reach for. Every one, right there.

And we all know the ways players look in Training Camp against no opposing defense is rarely any different from how these players look during a regular season NFL game. That's why Armanti Edwards has made two Pro Bowls.

Obviously, removing the coach for the year and removing his aide-de-camp, Vitt, for the first 40 percent of the season is a crushing blow. Maybe it's naive, and maybe I trust Brees too much, but I can't see the season going down the toilet with a quarterback as good as Brees putting up 28 or 30 points a week.

Which he is obviously going to do with ease. Didn't you see how well he threw the ball during that offensive drill? It's not like the Saints need to play defense this year.

Peter is defending a team or person who doesn't require defending. I harbor no illusions the Saints are going to struggle this year. I think they are going to make the playoffs and then lose their first road playoff game like they usually do. Nothing has changed.

Brees and I talked for 45 minutes or so about the severe league sanctions against the team, the 77 games commissioner Roger Goodell banned players, coaches and the general manager, Mickey Loomis. It's clear he's angry about the severity of the suspensions.

And here I thought Brees was going to be happy about the suspensions. Let me guess, Brees also thinks the commissioner was out of line during the appeals process in some way? Spoiler alert: He does believe this.

On the 16-game Payton suspension: "I was utterly shocked. Shocked. And the way the suspension works -- it's like, You're cut off right now. We [the NFL] are going to tell you who you can and cannot talk to over the next year. [Payton is forbidden from talking to Saints players or front-office members.] That is completely ridiculous.''

That is the idea of a punishment. If the NFL players are going to allow Roger Goodell to be judge, jury and executioner, which they did allow in the latest CBA, then this is how punishments are handed down. Would Brees have preferred a step-down version of the punishment where Sean Payton is slowly weaned away from the team? Week 1 Payton can only see or talk to his team 4 hours a day, Week 2 he can only see or talk to his team 3 hours a day, and finally Payton can't see or talk to his team at all. This is not how punishments are handed down in sports. They handed down effective immediately. When a player is suspended in any sport that league commissioner doesn't allow the suspension begin at an indefinite future time. So I don't get how suspending Payton immediately is completely ridiculous.

On NFL players' attitudes to Goodell: Brees got quiet and thought for a moment, then said: "Nobody trusts him. Nobody trusts him. I'm not talking about a DUI, or using a gun in a strip club, which are pretty clear violations.

Unlike intentionally trying to hurt other NFL players for money and having audio of Gregg Williams offering Saints defenders money to injure San Francisco 49ers players. This is a situation completely open for some interpretation.

I think now if a guy has to come in to talk to Roger, he'll be very hesitant because he'll think the conclusion has already been reached.''

That will show Roger Goodell! Don't show up at all when he summons you to the league office to discuss your punishment. Then Goodell will simply hand down the punishment without discussing the issue with the player at all. That'll learn Goodell real good.

Now it was time for Brees to go to practice. "I feel it's all we've done here, overcome the odds. We're going to have to do it again.''

Yes, play the victim card Brees. You are a victim! A victim of the harsh NFL system that doesn't allow players to put bounties on other players. The world, the NFL, and God himself has done you wrong. Always remember you are a victim of the mean ol' NFL and the commissioner of the NFL. Use this as further proof the NFL is against you. The same NFL that allows you to make $40 million guaranteed over a five year period.

I already think Drew Brees has beaten the odds. What are the odds an educated, smart individual like him can be so blind to the truth of what happened in the Saints locker room and try to turn the Saints into victims in this situation?

Manning can hear what people are saying about him and read what writers are writing about him. Peyton's back to normal. Look at him throw. Look at his command of the Denver offense. He's back.

"I hate it,'' Manning said.

Because he's not. He's not all the way back.

Peyton Manning is going to show all you writers. You believe he is healthy and completely able to play the quarterback position at 100% WELL HE'S NOT! THE JOKE IS ON YOU! Manning isn't completely healthy yet, so don't all you writers feel stupid for even suggesting Manning is healthy and that feels like he can perform at a high level if the season began today. The truth is that Manning can barely walk when he wakes up in the morning. I bet you feel stupid now.

Manning doesn't feel like he's near 100 percent yet. It's not his neck, which has undergone four procedures in the past two years, including the major surgery 11 months ago that caused him to miss the 2011 season. It's simply the regeneration of the nerve that affects his arm strength, particularly the area around the shoulder.

Now I would bet those writers feel even more stupid. They all thought it was Manning's neck was the real issue, but that's not true. Manning has a completely different physical issue that is preventing him from being 100% right now. Manning has multiple physical red flags. I bet Broncos fans are glad Manning cleared this all up. It's not scary sounding at all.

After practice Saturday, he signed a load of autographs, a few of them for people wearing Manning Colts jerseys. To one such guy, Manning said, "Colts fan or Broncos fan?'' The guy said, "I'm a fan of yours.''

Oh, you are a fair weather fan then? Welcome to the Broncos bandwagon. Lifetime Broncos fans hate you and hope you leave immediately.

As I watched Manning's first padded practice in 19 months on a sun-splashed field, I saw him throw efficiently and accurately. His best throw of the day, on a double-move by Eric Decker against Champ Bailey, was exactly the kind of precision intermediate throw Tim Tebow wouldn't have made.

To be fair, Manning could throw the ball left-handed and still make throws that Backup QB Jets wouldn't have made. Let's set a higher standard here.

You can't count on 36-year-old Brandon Stokley to stay healthy, and it's no sure thing he'll even make the team. But if Stokley stays upright this summer and makes the team, Manning would have the wideout he calls the best slot wide receiver he's ever played with back as a security blanket. (It's a mistake to count on the brittle Stokley, however. I'm just raising the possibility that he could be a valuable piece for Manning.)

So Brandon Stokley may be incredibly valuable for Manning this year...or maybe not...but he could, if he stays healthy...but Peter doesn't expect him to stay healthy...if he does stay healthy then he will be especially helpful to the Broncos...but he probably won't stay healthy so it doesn't matter.

So if Manning completes 69 percent with seven yards per attempt, would that suit Denver? In a heartbeat. It'd suit most any team in the league, except perhaps for the explosive Saints or Packers.

The Saints or Packers would immediately trade any quarterback who dared to complete 69% of his passes with seven yards per attempt, no matter how many Super Bowls or playoffs they get to with a quarterback who has these statistics.

(By the way in 2007 and 2010 Drew Brees had below seven yards per attempt and less than a 69% completion percentage. It was unacceptable and that's probably why Drew Brees had to wait so long to get a new contract from the Saints.)

I think the way it is might not be as electric, but I think it's going to be good enough for Denver to get its $18 million worth.

Manning will never be another QB Broncos no matter how much money he receives or how many games he wins! Never! Let's see Manning throw a 10 yard slant into single coverage with no safety high to win a playoff game. Manning could never do this.

Matt Flynn, Tavaris Jackson, Wilson one day. Jackson, Wilson, Flynn another. Wilson, Flynn, Jackson the next. This is a strange training camp. Most teams know their starting quarterback this morning. A few are having double-barreled competition for the job.

You know how they say if you have two starting quarterbacks then you really have none? In my opinion, the same goes for having three starting quarterbacks.

But the vibe I got here Sunday is that Wilson has a legitimate shot to win the starting job. Carroll loves him. GM John Schneider loves him. Plus, Flynn's not the kind of player whose arm is going to wow you in a training camp.

But didn't we just learn from the whole "Peyton Manning is back and has less arm strength but he will still find a way to get it done" story just a few paragraphs ago that arm strength doesn't matter if a quarterback "just knows how to get it done?"

"I refuse to be average,'' Wilson said on the field after practice. "I refuse to be good.

Well, good news then...you very well may not be any good. Time will tell. Mission accomplished.

It's very difficult to make any judgments on a player, or a team, watching a pad-less practice, with players in helmets and shorts.

But that sure has hell isn't going to stop Peter King from making snap judgments right now about Russell Wilson. This is the typical, "We really shouldn't say or do this" comment by Peter, followed by Peter doing or saying exactly what he just said he shouldn't do or say. It's pretty much his trademark.

But Wilson's arm looked every bit as strong, and maybe slightly stronger, than Flynn's in this practice. On one snap, Wilson was flushed from the pocket, scrambled right ("He scrambles to throw; he doesn't scramble to run,'' Carroll said) and launched a slightly wavering 32-yard strike down the right side to a covered Ben Obomanu, who came down with the ball. Good play, the kind of play he's going to have to make in the NFL when the pocket breaks down.

Russell Wilson very well could be the Seahawks starter. It very well could happen, but I haven't ever understood why Peter King states it is difficult to make judgments based on Training Camp and then uses this information to make judgments about the Seahawk starting quarterback job based on Training Camp.

Cool kid. The quarterback competition is the best story in Seattle's camp, and the charismatic Wilson makes it that way.

I know for a fact N.C. State fans absolutely love (loathe) him.

4. Eagles (Bethlehem, Pa.) If you like hills, you'll love the campus of Lehigh University.

I am not a fan of Lehigh University. This is a training camp I would not enjoy visiting.

"I am 1,000 percent a Steelers fan!''

-- Prospective Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam III, in a 2010 interview with Bob Labriola of Steelers.com. Haslam is a minority owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and if his purchase of the Browns from Randy Lerner does go through as league people have told me they think it will, he'll have to divest himself of the Steelers share.

Now, I'm not positive about this, but I have a feeling that 2010 quote might -- might -- not go over well in northeast Ohio.

I'm not positive about this, but I think anyone owning that team outside of Randy Lerner will go over well in northeast Ohio. It's pretty funny a guy who is a huge Steelers fan will probably own the Browns. In Haslam's defense, he was a minority owner of the Steelers, so what else was he going to say at the time?

"We brought Santonio here to be a receiver, not offensive coordinator."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan, on wide receiver Santonio Holmes' public skepticism on the chances a two-quarterback system (Mark Sanchez/Tim Tebow) will work with the Jets.

The good news for the Jets is they DON'T have a two-quarterback system. They have a one quarterback system with a running back who sometimes subs in at quarterback.

I accomplished something relatively Olympian last week, on the same day of the Olympic opening ceremonies, that I do believe made Peter King travel history: I was in all four continental United States time zones in one 24-hour period.

You want a full breakdown of where Peter was in these time zones? You don't? Tough, you get one anyway.

Thursday, 10:15 p.m. Pacific Time: Depart Karl Strauss pub, San Diego airport, and fly east.

And boy are Peter's arms tired.

Friday, 6 a.m. Eastern Time: Arrive Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport. Have an oatmeal breakfast.

I'm assuming if Peter had an oatmeal breakfast, then Peter also had his smoking jacket on during this meal, ate some grapefruit as a mid-morning snack and tuned into "Matlock" after taking his morning bath.

Friday 9 a.m. Central Time: Arrive New Orleans International Airport for day of Saints reporting.

Someone has to do reporting about the NFL in New Orleans since the Times-Picayune only puts out a paper three times a week.

"If the President of the U.S. is saying I need to slide then I really need to start sliding. Lol. Thanks Mr. President!''

-- @MikeVick, after Barack Obama told Eagles teammate Nnamdi Asomugha at a recent event, "Tell Vick to slide."

Mitt Romney, not one to be overshadowed, then told Mike Vick he needed to dunk more and he knows Vick will lead the Sixers to the NHL Playoffs this year.

In the Steelers' eyes, he did. So Pittsburgh, convinced it didn't want to risk losing both men next year when Brown would be a restricted free agent, gave Brown the deal they'd offered Wallace, a six-year, $42.5 million extension. Not bad for a sixth-round pick in 2010 from Central Michigan. Now Wallace is in limbo, not having signed his franchise tender ... and the Steelers saying they have no intention of trading him.

I'm not a Steelers fan, but that is straight fantastic they offered the exact same contract to Antonio Brown that they had offered to Mike Wallace. It's just wonderful.

"You don't want that contract? Fine, we'll offer it to your teammate."

Teams who draft well can afford to do things like this I guess.

I've always felt Lerner, who lives in downtown Manhattan near New York University, was more of a music and soccer fan (he owns Aston Villa of England's Premier League) than a football fan, and he'd hoped Mike Holmgren would wipe away all his troubles when Holmgren came aboard the Browns two years ago.

Who wouldn't love having an NFL owner who doesn't seem to really love owning a team and just wants someone to take the team off his hands?

Lerner badly wanted someone to come in and just take the headache that was the reconstruction of the Browns off his hands.

I wonder if Randy Lerner will send Tony Grossi an apology since it now seems Grossi was sort of right about Lerner and his lack of commitment to the Browns? Grossi got fired for that Tweet. Nah, being wealthy means never having to say you are sorry.

8. I think this is the cost of doing business the way I think it should be done in NFL journalism these days -- and I tell you this because it may affect my ability to know as much about the Saints as I've known in the past few years. Joe Vitt and Mickey Loomis, the New Orleans past and future 2012 brain trust, are not speaking to me, presumably because of my reporting on the Saints' bounty case.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Joe Vitt and Mickey Loomis are just being sensitive little bitches. I'm not prone to defending Peter King (if you can't tell already), but if anything I think Peter King has reported on the bounty scandal with a slight lean towards giving the benefit of the doubt to the Saints. It's bullshit and these two guys need to get over it. Peter reported the story while being fair to the Saints, if not being too fair to the Saints in my opinion. Maybe Vitt and Loomis don't like that Peter wasn't blindly giving his opinion that the Saints would NEVER do anything wrong, but if that's true they don't like Peter's blind loyalty to them, they should hold a grudge against most NFL fans outside the city of New Orleans.

Sean Payton told me earlier in the year he wouldn't speak to me either, because he didn't think I reported the story fairly. I'd had great relationships with Loomis and Payton. But that's how it goes. For the record, I regret nothing that I've written or said on the case.

If I needed any further proof that Sean Payton is a jackass, this is it for me. It's ridiculous to hold a grudge and be overly sensitive about the way anyone at Sports Illustrated covered this story. This whole "we are victims and being persecuted by the NFL" crap is really growing old. Grow a pair of balls about how the bounty scandal is being covered, and if you don't want to admit you did something wrong, at least allow others to give their opinion on the matter without giving the silent treatment to some reporters like you are an 8 year old child.

c. Missing the Olympics. I hate it when that happens. I'm a sucker for the stories. The most I've seen is a clip of the opening ceremonies in the Broncos cafeteria Saturday. Sure looked colorful. Weird shot of the Queen.

For me, easily the worst part of the Olympics are the opening ceremonies. They are too long, too bloated, and really boring. I'm not a fan. I tuned in for a few minutes Friday night and there was an old, creepy lady tucking children into bed. I don't know what the hell that was all about and didn't stick around to find out.

e. I love the A's. I don't know Jarrod Parker from Travis Blackley, but I hope I get to know both in October.

Of course the big baseball fan Peter King wouldn't know who Jarrod Parker is. Why would he know one of the best prospects in baseball? It's not like he enjoys watching the sport of baseball.

f. Someone should sit all the privately sniping Red Sox players and coaches in a room and tell them they look stupid, immature and ungrateful for the lives they have, and it has to stop.

Yeah, I agree. I can't believe some hotels don't have free coffee available in the lobby at exactly 6am either. That's not the kind of America I want to live in. Don't even get Peter started on any place in the United States that makes you pay for wireless Internet.

4 comments MMQB Review: No Time for NFL News, Peter Is Off to England Edition

Peter King visited his brother in England over this last weekend. It sounds like he had a good time. Presumably England has Starbucks with the exactly right amount of employees so there is never a long wait, there is always free coffee available no matter what time you wake up at your hotel, no person dares to do anything crazy on the trains like look at their laptop or listen to music, and rental cars companies don't overcharge you for gas simply because you are too lazy to get gas before turning the rental car back in. I assume this because Peter seems to have no complaints, other than the mild espresso (but the milk was great!). This week Peter ponders many things. England must be a very thought-provoking country. He ponders LeSean McCoy's new contract, what Drew Brees is worth, and apparently he pondered how to get other people to write 25% of the column for him by including commencement addresses in MMQB. Enough with the introduction, let's get to the recap of all-cricket related festivities.

Before I get on the plane home, a few football notes, a lesson from Rod Smith, some commencement fragments and what the NFL can learn from sports over here.

So the English crowd of 30,000 or so, many of the men in suits and the women in fine dresses and heels, politely clapped when the West Indies batsman, Adrian Barath, scored four runs. Sitting halfway up in the stands, I asked my brother why they were cheering.

"Because it was a good play,'' Ken, eight years my senior, said. "It's about sportsmanship. Barath's a good player. He might be from another country, but you appreciate good play.''

Here we go. It's a lesson in "American fans are too mean to the opposing team" from Peter King. Of course during the Olympics people are generally respectful and will cheer for an accomplishment by the opposing team, but I guess that doesn't count for this discussion. I'd like to focus on the difference between the audience for cricket and the audience for American sports like basketball, baseball or football. I have never attended a cricket match, but I'm assuming from what Peter has told us about the sport and the crowd, it is a much more gentlemanly sport, and the crowd reflects that, as compared to American football, baseball, or basketball. It isn't like an English crowd is a calm crowd that always shows appreciation for the opponent. For example, European soccer has a raucous crowd, much like many American sports have. When it comes to tennis or golf in the United States, a good performance is usually celebrated by the crowd no matter who their favorite golfer is. So short story long, I think the type of sport and not the crowd is the key to appreciating good play from the opposition.

What a concept ... appreciating good play from the opposition.

Chipper Jones is being honored in some way or another in nearly every city he plays a road series in during this summer. It's excessive at this point, but this is an example of an American crowd appreciating good play from the opposition. Of course I wouldn't expect Peter to know this since Chipper Jones doesn't play for the Red Sox. Another brief example...Cardinals fans in St. Louis are remarkable for cheering for their team, while also showing respect and admiration for the competition. Maybe it is just a reputation more than reality, but I feel like they appreciate good play from the opposition.

I'll get back to that in this unorthodox column (Monday Morning Wicket Keeper, a few of the Twitter Worldlies suggested I call it today), but let's go football first.

Yeah, let's get this whole "football discussion" out of the way. Monday Morning Quarterback is a weekly column about Peter's life of course, and in no way should be considered to be about the NFL. We are interested in Peter and his life, not any NFL-related news he could give us.

What the LeSean McCoy signing came down to for the Eagles.

Keeping another member of "the Dream Team" of course. Now they just have to sign Mike Vick to a nine-figure deal...wait, the Eagles already did that?

The most amazing thing about McCoy is not how precocious he's been in his first three seasons, averaging 1,414 yards from scrimmage a season. It's that he's 23.

This is very picky, but I don't like it when the word "precocious" is used to refer to a grown man. I know in terms of the actual definition of the word, it can be used in the way Peter is referencing it, but the modern usage is for a child. I feel like we, as a society, should stick to calling children "precocious."

The Eagles signed him to a five-year deal Thursday, and five-year deals for running backs are always dangerous. But Steven Jackson will take his first carry of this season for St. Louis at age 29, and Michael Turner is 30, and both could easily finish in the top five in the league in rushing this year. McCoy will take the last carry of this contract at age 28.

It's a great deal for the Eagles and LeSean McCoy gets paid. I love it when a plan comes together. I'm sure Matt Forte is thrilled to see McCoy getting paid and is not at all jealous or angry the Bears won't give him a long-term contract.

because a five-year contract for a back at age 25 (which is how old he'd be on opening day 2013) is riskier than a five-year contract for a back at age 24. It's mincing words, yes. But with backs, the longer you wait to pay them, the worse you sleep three and four years down the road.

Understandable, but I still don't know if a 25 year old back on a five year contract is that much of a risk. I think it is important to remember in the NFL there are non-guaranteed contracts, so if a 25 year old back signs a five year deal it can be structured so it won't hurt the team (financially) if his production begins declining prior to year four of the contract. So I wouldn't think a 25 year old back would be a huge risk, as compared to a 26-27 year old back. Those are the risky running back signings in my opinion because year three of their deal encompasses a time when most running backs seem to start a decline.

"Obviously there's an inherent risk in paying any player,'' Roseman said. "But if you're worried, and you're constantly conservative, you won't be able to build the kind of team that you hope can win a championship.''

I can't help but add the Eagles' aggressiveness, and lack of conservativeness, did not necessarily benefit the team last year. The Eagles were very aggressive in making some moves through trade and free agency. While they weren't Redskins-bad moves, these trades/signings didn't work out last year. Howie Roseman signed a 30+ year old injury prone quarterback to a $100 million deal in the last year as well. So I agree with what Roseman is saying, but there is a limit to the aggressiveness a team should show at times.

Even with my minor criticism aside, I think this is a great deal for the Eagles. McCoy will catch his normal 300 screen passes per season and get his typical 10 carries per game, while Mike Vick throws for a 55% completion rate when he is healthy (I'm kidding Eagles fans, please don't attempt to injure me). All will be well this year because the defense will play better and the Eagles will once again be in the playoff hunt.

So what's fair for Drew Brees?

Saint Brees? Brees should be able to name his price and the Saints should pay it. Ok, maybe that's a bit extreme, but the Saints need to re-sign him unless they are really, really high on Chase Daniel. I would say $20 million per year sounds about right...now about the amount of that money that will be guaranteed.

First, other than rookie receiver Nick Toon, no one should really care if Drew Brees is quarterbacking the Saints during Organized Team Activities, or during full-squad minicamps with the Saints...So with opening day 16 weeks from yesterday, I'm not going to be too concerned about Brees missing time until, say, about Aug. 20.

"I don't think it is a big deal if Brees misses any time until the very end of Training Camp. It doesn't matter if he and the Saints haven't come to a deal. That's why I'm bringing it up right now, in the middle of May and doing a very thorough analysis of the situation, because it is so not a big deal that Brees hasn't signed yet."

So let's keep in perspective the fact that Brees and the team are conflicted over the lack of a new contract.

Peter is missing the point I believe. The point isn't whether Brees can run the team effectively once he is signed, the point is the Saints are playing hardball with their best player and they can't come to a contract agreement. It's the perception and lack of resolution in not coming to a contract agreement with their best player that seems to be the issue. Drew Brees and Saints management don't seem to be on the same page when it comes to contract terms. It feels very contentious for some reason.

It's hard to look at this list and divine that Peyton Manning, over the past six years, has been $25.7 million better than Drew Brees, and Tom Brady $14.3 million better.

QB	Super Bowl Wins	Games Missed	Comp. %	Yds/Season	TD-INT	Rating	NFL Earnings
Brees	1	1	.678	4,732.3	201-93	98.5	$60.0M
Brady	0	15	.656	4,388.8	177-49	103.7	$74.3M
Manning	1	16	.665	4,327.8	155-68	96.9	$85.7M

Don't forget Brees won that Super Bowl for the Saints organization, which made everyone feel 100% better about Hurricane Katrina destroying the city. Brees saved the entire city with that Super Bowl victory, that has to count for something.

The Saints feel they should be credited for taking a medical risk with Brees in 2006. He was coming off serious shoulder reconstruction, and no team was willing to offer him $10 million a year. True.

We all know I think Peter is pretty self-involved at times, is on occasion too tight with NFL players to cover them appropriately, and he tends to complain about menial and trivial things as if he were the one person in the world who gets inconvenienced on a daily basis by the idiocy of other people. I am glad he wrote these two (two sentences and one word) sentences. This revisionist history about how Brees chose the Saints because he wanted to help rebuild the city of New Orleans and how the Dolphins and Chargers were just complete morons for not signing him to a larger deal is crap. The Saints offered the most guaranteed money for the longest amount of contract years and Brees liked Sean Payton, so Brees went to New Orleans. It was pretty much that simple.

But by almost any measure Brees outplayed his contract. He's been the most statistically productive quarterback, and he didn't miss any significant time;

Now the Saints want credit for taking a chance on Brees after he had major shoulder surgery and Brees isn't feeling as much love as he used to feel. I am on Brees' side on this one. The Saints got a hell of a deal for a while. Now is the time to pay up.

So what is Brees worth? He doesn't have the medical red flag of Manning. It's easy to argue he'll be healthier longer than either other player, obviously because he's younger, but also because he hasn't had anything notably wrong with him since the end of the 2005 season.

Ah yes, the kiss of death "He hasn't been injured very much during his career" comment.

Brees is younger, has been more durable, has been more productive ... and the Saints are entering a season unlike any a quarterback has ever had to pilot through, considering the suspensions and unrest in New Orleans. I think the Saints will pay him before the middle of August, and it'll be somewhere around $21 million a year. Looking at the precedents, that's only fair.

I have very little patience for these type of things. We know Brees will re-sign as a Saint. Bree has most of the leverage in this situation. Sure, the Saints could franchise him over these next two seasons and then let him leave as a free agent when he is 35 years old. This won't happen though. The Saints need to re-sign Brees and Brees has the leverage. Why wait until August to come to an agreement with Brees if you are the Saints? Are they playing hardball or thinking they can drive his price down? I don't see it happening. Pay him his $100 million now and get some good press over the summer, rather than let this drag out. We know both sides will come to an agreement. The Saints should not posture or drag this out and just come to an agreement with Brees.

I knew Jim Miller when he worked for three teams in the NFL -- including the Saints as contract negotiator and vice president of administration -- before he changed paths and took the athletic director's job at the University of New Orleans in 2003.

Peter asked this gentleman to provide some insight into the contract negotiations between Brees and the Saints. This is a large section written by someone else, along with another large section of commencement addresses written by other people that was included in this MMQB. I feel like Peter sometimes think he has to make MMQB very long, when I wish he would sometimes make it shorter and more concise. Yes, I realize I write a lot and I am not concise, but I see nothing wrong with a shorter and more concise MMQB.

Sometimes contracts are delivered on a velvet pillow. After I left the Saints, I was chief negotiator for the Chicago Bears, during which time we drafted linebacker Brian Urlacher. When I met Urlacher's agent for the first time, he shocked me by saying the contract must be signed before July 1, a full three weeks before camp opened. His reason? Urlacher was betrothed to a woman the agent did not trust. Under applicable law, any property brought into the marriage by either party before July 1 was not subject to community property laws which were triggered by the matrimonial vows. The agent wanted to protect the signing bonus in the event the marriage failed. Urlacher became the first player in the 2000 NFL draft to sign a contract, and he did eventually divorce his wife.

Sorry for the wall of text, but when some people rag on agents for being money-hungry, thieving jerks who belong at the bottom of the ocean, I like to know stories about how an agent saved his player a great amount of money. Urlacher's agent definitely knew what he was doing and this is a good example of why players need agents.

Six years ago, the Saints took a chance on an injured quarterback and became the beneficiary of what turned out to be a major bargain. Now it's time to consider back pay, rolled into a long-term contract that would give Brees the highest all-time average per year while Condon gives the Saints some relief on when it is earned.

You aren't supposed to negotiate like this and be able to stay a good guy like Brees tries to do, but the Saints should be happy Brees never held out or wanted a new contract during the past six seasons. He has been underpaid for a few years now. If I am Drew Brees, then I am somewhat insulted the Saints have even let it get to this point...unless Brees has been requesting such outrageous numbers the Saints had to turn the requested contract terms down due to the outrageousness of the contract demands. Saint Brees would never do that though, would he?

The symposium will be held at a hotel in Aurora, Ohio, with the NFC rookies meeting from June 24-27, and the AFC rookies gathering from June 27-30. On the last day of each session, rookies will spend a half-day at the Hall of Fame, 45 minutes away, taking a two-hour tour, watching a 20-minute football history film, and listening to a Hall of Famer speak about the lessons of the past.

I've found it amazing when players give you a blank stare when you ask the kind of question about a famous player from the '50s or '60s who any good fan in the street would know -- and the current player doesn't.

Really? Is this amazing? The NFL has a rich history, but a famous player from the 50's or 60's played a solid three or four decades before some of these rookies were even born. Most of the NFL players aren't busy studying the history of the NFL and are too busy playing the game of football as they grow up. It may be kind of odd a player wouldn't know who Bart Starr is, but I am not sure Peter should be amazed by it.

(tries out old man's voice) We all know kids these days don't respect history, so it shouldn't shock anyone these yellow-bellied, war-evading whippersnappers don't know much about the NFL's history. They are too busy listening to their rap music loudly with the windows down.

My brother lives about an hour north of London in the countryside, and he's forever wanted me to come over to see cricket. No time like this quiet NFL offseason to break away. So we set off on the train Saturday morning for Day 3 of the five-day test match between England and the West Indies.

"While on the train, I saw a young couple giggling to each other while pointing at a computer FOR OVER AN HOUR! I can't imagine what was so funny that these young kids were laughing so much. I wish an attendant had asked them to quiet down as their constant laughing was reverberating through the passenger car and it almost broke my concentration as I stared at them."

Then we connected with the Tube on the outskirts of London and got to Lord's, in a nice London Neighborhood, about 10.

"I've never heard so many people speak with a British accent!"

Hours.

Days.

Minutes.

Seconds.

Lots of those in a test match. It starts at 11 in the morning and runs until 1. Players and fans stop for lunch for 40 minutes. The second session is from 1:40 to 3:40. Then they stop for tea. (Or, in my case, beer.) The third session is from 4 to 6. Strange atmosphere in the stadium. At precisely 11, with no warning from the PA announcer or the scoreboard, play began. Just started. Through the day, I kept waiting for music, or loud videos, or something on the scoreboard. Nothing.

But without the PA announcer telling everyone when to cheer how will everyone know when to cheer? Without halftime entertainment, what is there to do to entertain yourself while at the game? With no overdone introductions how will everyone get excited for the sporting event?

Neil bought us tickets to the hospitality tent, where lunch was served. Cerviche of halibut, it was called (cold fish), with seared chicken breast and French wine. Would Jerry Jones serve Cerviche of halibut at Jerryworld?

More importantly, would Cowboys fans eat fish with seared chicken breast and French wine at a football game? Probably not. The atmosphere at a football game is simply different than the atmosphere at a cricket match. The atmosphere at a polo match in the United States is also different from the atmosphere at a football game. Maybe a polo match and a cricket match like the one Peter attended are a better comparison. Peter could probably find a similar experience at a sporting event here in the United States if he really wanted to. Football just has a different atmosphere and I could not imagine eating fish at a football game.

We settled in for the afternoon session. There was an instant replay review of a close play, and Neil extolled the virtues of this replay system versus the NFL's. "Here, if you call for a review, and you're right, you don't get penalized -- you can keep reviewing calls if you're right,'' he said. "In the NFL, if you've exhausted your replay reviews, and you see an obviously wrong call, you can't challenge. That's bollocks.''

Bad, he meant.

Thanks for clarifying that Peter. I am an idiot and have no clue about how other countries live or talk. When someone says they are going to the "loo," I just always assume they are going to St. Louis...it has always been weird to me when that person who goes to the "loo" returns within the next five minutes.

Then it was over. No big announcement. We got up, walked out, and I suggested that since Abbey Road was so close, we should find it and walk the most famous crosswalk in the world.

I'm sure no one else had this idea.

Funny thing is, about 40 or 50 people had the same idea at 7:15 on a Saturday evening.

What? You mean 40 or 50 people out of 30,000 people who attended the cricket match chose to to walk the most famous crosswalk in the world? What are the odds of his happening? A million-to-one?

So we waited as Beatles nerd after Beatles nerd did their best John-Ringo-Paul-George imitation. Too young to know what I'm talking about? Google "Abbey Road album cover.''

Talk down to me more, Peter! What is a "road?" Where do I find this "Google" person? Are John-Ringo-Paul-George famous people of some sort?

On Sunday evening, Ken asked me what I wanted to do Monday before he dropped me off at Heathrow around 3. "Let's go to the match,'' I said. Why not? Ten pounds apiece. So we'll go until lunch.

An actually interesting England-related tidbit would have been if Peter told us how much 10 pounds converted to in dollars. That way I could compare the cost of an NFL game to the cost of a cricket match. If I am looking to learn something English/cricket-related that would help me gain a new perspective on the NFL, then information on how much 10 pounds would be in dollars would be nice to know. At least I am reminded what "bollocks" and "Abbey Road" are...I guess.

Highlights from some of the college commencement speeches around the country this month:

As if sitting through your own college's commencement address wasn't boring and tedious enough. Perhaps I didn't have an interesting enough commencement speaker at my graduation.

I think commencement addresses are more interesting to read than to hear. They do make for a good way to kill space in a football column though.

If you liked the passages, great. If not, I understand; this is a football column, not The Chronicle of Higher Education. But this is who I am, which I guess, if you've been reading this column for a while, you understand. Thanks for indulging me.

Fine, I'll let it pass this one time without further criticism. But only because Peter mentioned no team other than the Saints were offering Brees more than $10 million per season earlier in this MMQB.

Biggest reason why the Arizona Cardinals picked wide receiver Michael Floyd in the first round last month? The numbers say it all. If you're going to employ Larry Fitzgerald, and you're going to pay him ($16 million per year) like he's the best receiver in football, you had best not put him out on an island with inaccurate passers.

And here I criticized this pick falsely believing that Michael Floyd was a wide receiver and not a quarterback. I didn't realize the solution to the Cardinals QB issues was to draft another wide receiver.

So now the Cardinals have one great receiver and one potentially really good receiver with an inaccurate passer. Things are much, much better now! Now Kevin Kolb has two competent receivers to miss with wide open passes. Rejoice Cardinals fans!

Not that Floyd is going to fix the accuracy issues. But he should deflect some of the attention from Fitzgerald so the quarterback -- whoever it is -- can have a better chance to play well.

Because at the beginning of the 2012 NFL season opposing defensive coordinators will say, "We need to make sure this rookie wide receiver doesn't beat us, so let's move some coverage off of Larry Fitzgerald." Floyd will have to prove himself before this happens. Not to be to put too fine of a point on it, but the Cardinals' quarterback (whoever it is) is going to have to prove he can be accurate with the football. I just don't see Floyd as a cure for taking coverage off Fitzgerald without Floyd showing he can be a weapon in the offense first. I like Michael Floyd, I still don't know if I like this pick.

In 2010 and 2011, Arizona quarterbacks have been last, collectively, in football, completing 53.3 percent of their throws. Over those two years, Fitzgerald has caught 52.0 percent of the passes thrown his way. If you don't think there's a direct correlation between Fitzgerald's receiving percentage plummeting since Warner left, you haven't been watching the Cardinals play.

Which is why I think the problems aren't with the receiver on the other side of Fitzgerald, but lies with who is throwing Fitzgerald the ball. Seems to me Fitzgerald's success in 2012 depends more on the quarterback throwing him the ball than anything else.

"Said it before and I'll say it again: The Super Bowl in New Orleans this year will be the most awkward SB week in the history of the league''

-- @wingoz, ESPN host Trey Wingo.

Agreed, Trey. Roger Goodell should bring his earplugs.

Roger Goodell may need to bring a bodyguard with him everywhere he goes during that week. The way he screwed the Saints team over for daring to punish them for breaking NFL rules, what fan base wouldn't be mad at the commissioner for enforcing NFL rules and handing down punishments when that team breaks those rules?

1. I think there's one thing I don't get about Jonathan Vilma: how he has as his Twitter avatar the Sports Illustrated cover, screaming "Bounty Culture'' with Vilma front and center, very big, jumping out on the cover. If being degraded by being identified with the bounty story is a sue-able offense for Vilma, and if he accuses Roger Goodell of disparaging his character to the point where it's going to be difficult for him to ever find work in or out of the NFL, why does he identify himself with something so reprehensible? How on the one hand can you want something like the SI cover representing you to the Internet world, and on the other hand you sue the man responsible for allegedly making you so infamous?

Quit bringing up logical and relevant points Peter. Don't you see how the NFL has disparaged Jonathan Vilma by suggesting he won't find work after the NFL? A man has got to eat and the millions Vilma has made playing in the NFL just won't support him at the standard of living he wants to keep up. His last contract was only signed for $34 million with only $17 million guaranteed.

4. I think I have only one piece of advice for the Wilfs, in the wake of the news about the new Vikings stadium being approved and on schedule to open in 2016, and as it concerns whether to fork out the extra dough to cap the place with a retractable roof rather than a permanent one: Do it. Bite the bullet. You'll never regret it, especially on beautiful autumn October Sundays when it's cloudless and 48 degrees outside. And one other piece of advice: Make sure Christian Ponder, or whoever the quarterback in 2016 is, isn't one of those indoor-loving guys who will want the roof closed all the time.

Yes, Wilf family. Find out now if Christian Ponder isn't going to be the quarterback in 2016, and if he isn't, then jump in your time machine and find out who will be the quarterback in the year 2016 and ask this person if he prefers the roof be closed all the time or not. All you need is a time machine to jump four years in the future to find out who the Vikings starting quarterback will be and then build the roof on your new stadium based on whether he prefers an open or closed roof.

7. I think the Baltimore Ravens must get driven absolutely nuts by Ed Reed between February and July.

Yes, but he is worth it from August to January.

a. Most depressing in-flight movie in the history of in-flight movies: Young Adult, with Charlize Theron. You're too good to play cheesy and creepy, Charlize -- especially when the script drags and the story's lousy. Sheesh.

Now if Meryl Streep played that role...well let's just say Peter King would recommend an Oscar nomination for her. What a chameleon that Meryl Streep is.

I enjoyed "Young Adult" and I know people who are slightly like Charlize Theron's character who are still living life like they are in high school. I thought the characterization of a person who can't put high school achievements and relationships behind them was fairly spot-on. Maybe the script dragged a little at times, but I don't think the story was lousy. How is Theron too good to play cheesy and creepy? It's called "acting" for a reason.

h. Al Michaels, for all the L.A. Kings pain he's endured over the years, must be happy to be watching the best team in hockey. You didn't know Al was a two-decade Kings' season-ticket holder?

Only Peter King would assume some people don't know what Abbey Road is and then have mock surprise when his readers don't know that Al Michaels is a L.A. Kings fan. This is part of the trend I see in Peter's writing where he will assume his readers have more access to the coaches/players he covers than they actually do. It's much like the comments we will get in MMQB where Peter will discuss a topic and then write, "Ask Joe Philbin if Matt Flynn can play in the NFL," as if his readers have regular conversations with Coach/Player X (in this example Joe Philbin) to ask this question.

k. Imagine the Thunder and the Kings winning the NBA and the NHL, respectively. What odds would you have gotten for that daily winter-pro-sports double last September?

For the Oklahoma City Thunder portion of this double I don't think it would have been speculative to see them win the NBA Title this year. The L.A. King are another matter.

l. Mike Aviles, Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Keepers of the Sox flame.

(Vomits into a trash can)

m. At some point, we're going to have to take the Orioles seriously.

I'm aiming for taking them seriously around mid-August. Once they are in the running to win the AL East at that point, I will take them seriously.

q. Beernerdness: Had the good fortune of drinking Marston's Pedrigree bitter at the cricket match Saturday.

I'm just going to stop here. That beer sounds like dog food. I can't imagine it would be any good.