Showing posts with label drugs are bad mmkay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drugs are bad mmkay. Show all posts

Thursday, April 2, 2015

4 comments Jerry Green Thinks Bud Selig Took a Piss on the Common Man with All These Newfangled Changes to Baseball

Jerry Green's default mechanism is to long for the good old days. Everything that happened in sports was better 30-40 (even 60) years ago. Sports are ruined today and the common man has been cut out of baseball completely. Now you may ask, "But Ben, who is this 'common man' that Jerry Green is referring to?" I do not know the answer to that question, but when I find the common man, I expect him to be very upset and ravenous to kick Bud Selig's ass. Because after all, with all of these changes to baseball, Selig left the common man behind. The common man is in a cave, ruing the day that Bud Selig became commissioner and dared to try and think of new ideas, ideas that Babe Ruth and Hank Greenberg would think were absolutely ridiculous, to "improve" baseball. Fortunately, Jerry Green is around to stand up for the common man and remember the good old days when everything was better in baseball. Back when there was racism throughout the game and those silly Mexican players stayed in the country where they belong.

A purist's lament:

Don't you love how sportwriters who long for the old days call themselves "purists"? I'm not sure Jerry Green is understanding that when he refers to the era of Babe Ruth and Walter Johnson as "pure" he also means "there weren't any black players allowed to play the sport and they had their own separate league so this was better." There is definitely a slightly racist tint to this appeal for "purity." When a sportswriter is using the same language that racist organizations use to advocate for the demeaning treatment of those aren't like them, then I would probably reconsider my language if I were a sportswriter. Maybe it's just me. It's racist organizations and baseball writers who long for "purity."

Baseball, once, was the Common Man's game.

Yes, baseball was once a lot of things. It no longer is a lot of things and this isn't a bad thing. Progress doesn't have to be scary.

It was simple: the major-league teams played through the season in what were legitimate pennant races. The eight or 10 teams in the two leagues played games starting in April and finishing in October.

So contract 10 to 14 teams and hold more "legitimate" pennant races? That's the key to making baseball better apparently. Engage fewer fans for a shorter period of time by limiting the number of cities that have baseball teams and making sure fewer teams are in contention. I can't see how this wouldn't work. Brilliant. The common man would love this.

At the end of the schedule, after 154 or 162 games, the team in first place in the American League played the team in first place in the National League. The postseason was confined to an event noted as the World Series. The first team to win four games in the best-of-seven games became what was known widely, as the World Champions.

Things have changed. I don't understand the opposition to change. There should be a separate baseball internet for people who long for the days of purity. That way it helps to keep their internet pure from scary ideas that cause change in sports and those impure fans of sports don't end up reading the disgruntled rantings of those who are afraid of anything new.

This was how Babe Ruth and Hank Greenberg played baseball in a better era.

It still is gripping. The pennant races are still close and the one game wild-card playoff, though contrived and stupid, does provide a sense of theater the sport desperately needs. I wouldn't consider the era in which Ruth and Greenberg played as a better era simply because it was an older era and I hope I never get to the point when I lament the game was better when Trout and Cabrera were hitting the ball all over the field.

Whitey Ford pitching curveballs vs. Duke Snider. Jackie Robinson called safe on a steal of home plate to the wailing of Yogi Berra. Willie Mays running into deep center field to catch Vic Wertz monstrous shot over his shoulder at the Polo Grounds. Ruth calling his shot and then hitting a home run at Wrigley Field. Grover Cleveland Alexander trudging from the bullpen hung-over to strike out Tony Lazzeri with the bases loaded.

Here's the deal though, Jerry. These days are NEVER coming back. Even if Rob Manfred decided that he wanted to only have an American League and National League with no divisions, and the two teams with the best record in each league meet, Whitey Ford will never be throwing curveballs to Duke Snider. Ruth won't ever call his shot again. Willie Mays won't catch a Vic Wertz shot over his shoulder for a second time. Those days are gone. Clayton Kershaw will pitch to David Ortiz. Mike Trout will catch a fly ball off the bat of Bryce Harper. It won't be the same because the past is the past. So if your beef is with the set up of MLB with the three divisions and two wild cards, then that's fine, but it seems your beef is that all of the old players who dead now aren't playing. So well, that's just something you are going to have to get over. They aren't coming back, so enjoy the players now in the lesser era or move on with your life and don't watch baseball anymore.

The Common Man could relate to the ballgames. We all had played baseball. We carried our fantasies. Until the rude awakening, the day that we discovered that we couldn't play.

But we still loved our baseball.

I don't think it's the wild card and expansion that has caused the common man to lose interest in baseball. I think it's a product of a different society and times have changed to where fans like a faster paced game. Society moves on, even if you aren't ready for it to.

Ticket prices were affordable.

Bud Selig isn't the sole cause of ticket prices becoming unaffordable. Inflation, player salaries and the realization that teams can make a shitload of money by raising ticket prices and maximizing profits caused ticket prices to become less affordable. Even so, a ticket to a minor league game isn't overly expensive and it's a great night out with the family or friends. There are options to watch baseball at an affordable price level. Again, it feels like Jerry Green is lamenting a time gone by, not specific things Bud Selig has done.

When I was a kid, a Common Man could cough up 55 cents to sit in the bleachers, a buck 10 for general admission along the first or third base line. And if you brought a couple of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches in a brown bag, you could watch Ted Williams playing against Joe DiMaggio in a doubleheader.

Good for you. Bud Selig didn't kill Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams. Bud Selig didn't set ticket prices for games, and quite frankly, rightly began to take steps to make the game faster in an era of specialized pitching that has resulted in more pitching changes that slowed the game down.

But best for the purist, the pennant races were real.

They still are real. Just because the pennant races aren't like the pennant races in 1938 doesn't mean the 2015 races aren't real. Remember this night? It sort of felt real, didn't it?

If Major League Baseball still had genuine pennant races, the 2014 standings through the top five finishers — the old-fashioned first division — would have been exactly like this:

American League

TeamWinsLossesPct.GB
Los Angeles9864.605
Baltimore9666.593 2
Detroit9072.556 8
Kansas City8973.549 9
Oakland8874.54310

National League

TeamWinsLossesPct.GB
Washington9666.593
Los Angeles9468.580 2
St. Louis9072.556 6
San Francisco8874.543 8
Pittsburgh8874.548 8

This would fix everything if there was an Angels-Nationals World Series. Snider versus Ford! Willie Mays catching fly balls and Babe Ruth calling his shot. All of these things would happen again.

Now we're stuck with the debris that Bud Selig left behind.

"The debris" meaning that more baseball fans are engaged in the sport for a longer period of time. What in the hell could Bud Selig have been thinking to try and engage more fans of more teams in the sport for a longer period of time? If only he had set up two leagues and just let the team with the best record in each league play each other in the World Series, the time of games would decrease, tickets prices would plummet, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches would become the national currency for the national pastime again, and fans would come come flocking back to the sport purely for the sake of nostalgia they never actually experienced. It would all happen!

The true pennant races and the genuine standings might have confused the figure manipulators and similar Sabremetric creatures.

Bud Selig is a famed Sabermetrician. And also, calling the pennant races "true" and the standings "genuine" doesn't make it so. I think a real pennant race can involve the wild card as well, and recent history has shown me to be correct.

The traditional World Series — Nationals vs. Angels — might have happened. Mike Trout vs. Bryce Harper was a purist's pipe dream.

Oh, so the World Series involving the team with speed that didn't hit home runs isn't a purist's dream? And here I thought it would be.

Ruth, Ty Cobb, Christy Mathewson, Walter Johnson, Bob Feller, Williams, DiMaggio, Stan Musial, Satchel Paige, Jackie Robinson, Tris Speaker, Mickey Cochrane, Charlie Gehringer, Goose Goslin — these are names that reek with tradition.

And nothing says "tradition" like the World Series meeting between a 23 year old and 22 year old who haven't ever appeared in a World Series before, who happen to play on two teams that didn't exist in their current form prior to 2005. THAT is tradition.

But MLB trashed tradition during the power-lusting reign of a commissioner.

Yes, he trashed tradition by moving the Expos to Washington and calling them the "Nationals" and by changing the name of the Angels to the "Anaheim Angels" and then the "Los Angeles Angels," except Jerry apparently longs for the tradition that these teams represent. A tradition that wasn't there prior to Bud Selig becoming the commissioner.

One year, early in his administration, Selig ordered the cancellation of the World Series during a bitter labor dispute with the players union. The next spring he decided the game must go on — with replacement players. Bud wanted to serve up sandlot baseball at big-league prices.

Right, he did want to do this. What has resulted from this strike that happened 20 fucking years ago (though to Jerry, that's like yesterday)? Baseball has had labor peace since that time. Baseball is the only major sport to have labor peace over the last 20 years.

That spring 20 years ago was Sparky Anderson's finest moment in his Hall of Fame career as manager with Cincinnati and Detroit. He refused manage the fake major leaguers in a false season.

Sparky maintained the dignity that Selig lacked.

Except Anderson never really had to actually make this call that he was prepared to make because the union and MLB came to a deal.

Bud went out last month following the weakest World Series in the history of the sport.

He staged a World Series pitting two fourth-place teams. There was Fox TV drooling about the Royals playing the Giants. The Giants' best from April through September, in a 162-game season, had been to tie for fourth in the National League with the Pirates.

The 2014 World Series was the third-lowest rated World Series of all-time. The 2013 World Series, which took place between two teams that had the best record in their respective leagues, is the fifth-lowest rated World Series of all-time. So I think it's just that the World Series has lower ratings due to there being other options on television more than fans don't watch because they want to see teams with the best record in their league play.

He went out boasting and preening that Major League Baseball is thriving. He spoke about the prosperity created during his tenure, more than ever in his sport. He proclaimed that the club owners and the players became richer and richer.

MLB teams are setting attendance records under Bud Selig, so obviously fans are attending the games. The stadiums could be bigger than they used to be, but when claiming the idea that the common man is being left out, the fact a lot of common men are choosing to attend baseball games seems to disprove this idea.

Does the Common Man — the shot-and-beer guy, or the average dude on the assembly line — give a hoot about Mike Ilitch's prosperity?

Don't think so!

No one gives a crap about Ilitch's prosperity, but this goes for every sport that has an extremely wealthy owner. I don't care about my favorite NFL team's owner and whether he makes a ton of money, yet this doesn't mean I'm being shut out from attending NFL games. "The average dude on the assembly line" doesn't give a shit if the owner of any of his favorite teams makes money, no matter the sport, and whether that owner is filthy rich or just really, really rich is irrelevant to this fictional dude (should I call him the "replacement dude" just to irritate Jerry Green's anti-Sabermetric tendencies?). Baseball isn't an outlier regarding this attitude of "the average dude on the assembly line."

Selig went out claiming MLB had created the most powerful drug enforcement policy in professional sports. He says, bursting with ego, that this policy is part of his legacy.

But this is true. MLB has a pretty powerful drug enforcement policy.

The truth is that Selig was tardy leading MLB into drug enforcement. The great home-run explosions — Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa — went on before Baseball ignored steroids and performance enhancing drugs. Baseball reveled in the attacks on Ruth and Henry Aaron and Roger Maris by Bonds, McGwire and Sosa.

This is also true. It's very hard to force through a powerful drug enforcement policy when there isn't a big problem that needs to be addressed. Often, something has to break before it gets fixed. That is what happened in baseball. The player's union wasn't going to agree that a powerful drug enforcement policy was necessary if they didn't see a real reason to have this powerful policy. The Steroid Era allowed both owners and the player's union to see the issue present and the necessity for a powerful drug enforcement policy. So yes, the Steroid Era is on Bud Selig, but without that era it would have been hard for the player's union to see the need for stricter testing. Such is how life works. Things have to get worse before they get better.

We purists, the cadre of remaining traditionalists, shuddered at the obliteration of Ruth's statistics, of Aaron's and Maris' records.

And this is on Bud Selig, but it's not fair to complain he was responsible for the Steroid Era and then take away credit for creating a powerful drug enforcement policy. It's hard to push through change when there isn't a problem that seems to need solving.

Bud went out with self-praise for the sweeping drug suspensions of 13 abusers two years ago, in a dragnet operation. It was based on the testimony from convicted Biogenesis operator Anthony Bosch.

In essence, Bud went out after dealing with a drug dealer.

Now this is very true, but Jerry Green is again choosing to complain about everything Bud Selig did simply because he longs for days that will never come again. Jerry Green complains that Bud Selig didn't clean up baseball in time for records to be broken by PED users and then criticizes Selig for being aggressive in trying to prevent PED users from breaking more long-held baseball records. Jerry wants to blame Selig for not being tough enough on PED users, but then complains Selig was too tough on PED users.

It can't always work both ways. Jerry Green wants MLB to clean up baseball, but not to be too aggressive in cleaning up baseball. It's a travesty that PED users are breaking baseball records, but he doesn't want MLB to be too aggressive in making sure this doesn't happen again. I think Selig went a bit overboard to nail A-Rod, but I also don't blame Selig for being tardy to put in place a strict drug enforcement policy.

He did not leave Major League Baseball. He opted to linger. MLB retained him as commissioner emeritus at a peon's wage of $6 million per year. He gets a drop in salary.

But Bud is still there, after all, hanging around. Imagine, 6 million bucks to point out to Rob Manfred, the replacement, err, new commissioner where home plate is.

Yep, I'm not a huge fan of Selig being allowed to earn all this money for not really doing a whole lot. Still, Selig didn't ruin baseball by introducing the wild card, he simply tried to open up the pennant races for more teams to get fans more engaged. I shudder to think what would happen if fewer teams were involved with pennant races during the month of August and September.

For sure, the Common Man ought to relate to that.

I still don't know who the common man is and I refuse to capitalize it. Jerry Green is very lost if he thinks the way back to baseball prosperity is to have two leagues with the best teams in each league meeting in the World Series. He longs for lower ticket prices, dead players to suddenly come back alive and play again, and for owners to not make a lot of money on the backs of fans. Changing how the playoffs structured won't fix this, so basically Jerry's problem isn't with Bud Selig, but with the passage of time. Perhaps he should take up his beefs with a clock or calendar. 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

7 comments It's Fine to Use Cocaine, Just Don't Die From It or You Don't Deserve To Be in the University of Maryland Athletics Hall of Fame

John Feinstein doesn't think Len Bias deserves to be in the University of Maryland Athletics Hall of Fame. He's too dead to deserve this honor. For some reason Feinstein brings Pete Rose into the discussion as well, possibly because he realized he didn't have enough material to write a column on why Len Bias doesn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. John Feinstein believes the character clause should come into play, and since Len Bias made the mistake of dying of a drug overdose, he doesn't deserve induction into the University of Maryland Athletics Hall of Fame. Of course, John Lucas is in the University of Maryland Hall of Fame and he famously used drugs. That is totally different from Len Bias because John Lucas had the foresight to not die of his drug use. I mean, if you are going to use drugs, at least have the ability to not die. If you die, there goes your chances at making the Hall of Fame. 

The picture of John Feinstein that accompanies this article looks like it was taken in 1987. It may be time to update the pic. I'm pretty sure there is a Roxy Music poster somewhere in the background of the picture.

More than 28 years after his death rocked the sports world, Len Bias is going to be inducted to the University of Maryland Athletics Hall of Fame this October, the school announced Wednesday.

What a travesty. Bias used drugs and wasn't even super-clutch enough to handle the drugs he was taking. By allowing Bias into the Hall of Fame, the University of Maryland is saying, "We support people who use drugs and aren't even tough enough to not die of drug use." That's not a message they should be sending.

Almost 25 years after being banned from baseball for betting on games, Pete Rose still is begging to be inducted to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

The question is this: Should either one of them be in any hall of fame?

And these two situations are completely analogous, that's the important thing to focus on. Dying of cardiac arrest caused by cocaine and betting on baseball. Definitely not an apples and oranges comparison.

Rose is baseball’s all-time hits leader — 4,256 — and if he hadn’t been caught betting on baseball, he would have been a certain first-ballot Hall of Famer five years after he last played in 1986.

If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's ass on the ground. If Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens had not used PED's then they would be in the Hall of Fame. If I were a foot taller I would have a better chance of being a professional athlete.

Bias is — almost without argument — the greatest basketball player in Maryland history.

(Lonny Baxter reads this sentence with a tear in his eye)

If he hadn’t died of a cocaine overdose soon after being taken with the No. 2 pick in the 1986 NBA draft by the Boston Celtics, he would have been in the school’s Hall of Fame the moment he was eligible.

But he died, and everyone knows that dead people SHOULD NOT be allowed to enter the Hall of Fame. You die, that's a character flaw. No Hall of Fame for you.

But greatness as a player has never been an issue with either Rose or Bias. 

Which is why Bias shouldn't be allowed to enter the University of Maryland Hall of Fame, a place reserved for players who showed greatness in athletics while playing for the University of Maryland. Sure, he was great and meets that criteria, but he's dead. What kind of great athlete can't handle a little cocaine? Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry handled their cocaine. Maybe Bias wasn't such a great athlete after all.

There is no doubt a stain of mendacity on Rose that never fell on Bias.

Look at Mr. Fancy with his big words. Mendacity. Well, Pete Rose lied for a decade about whether he bet on baseball and then only revealed that he did bet on baseball once he got the chance to make money from his admission. Len Bias was a college kid who used cocaine and died as a result. You can sort of see where the stain of lies is on Rose, but not Bias. Bias being a liar isn't an issue with his Hall of Fame candidacy.

Rose only stopped lying about betting on baseball in 2004 because he was peddling a book and because he believed — as he said as recently as this week — that if he finally fessed up, Selig would reinstate him. He didn’t do it because his conscience caught up with him but because he was tring to sell books and because he thought he would get off the hook if he said, “Yeah, yeah, you got me.”

Hey, I said it first!

There’s a character clause on the Baseball Hall of Fame ballot, which is why no one should ever vote for Rose or any of those who took steroids and lied about taking them.

I'm getting bored of rehashing the same argument over and over...but I also can't turn down having the same argument over and over. MLB didn't care about the character clause when letting assholes like Ty Cobb into the Hall of Fame. MLB didn't care about letting cheaters in the Hall of Fame when electing Gaylord Perry and Whitey Ford into the Hall of Fame. Don't even get me started about the large amounts of players in the MLB Hall of Fame used "greenies" at some point in their career. It's laughable to discuss the character clause in terms of the Baseball Hall of Fame, as if everyone in the Baseball Hall of Fame is of the highest moral character and no player shall demean the group of angels currently represented in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

There also is a character clause attached to the Maryland Hall of Fame. Apparently the committee decided 28 years was enough time either to look the other way or believe that dying of a cocaine overdose doesn’t represent a major character flaw.

Dying of a cocaine overdose doesn't represent a major character flaw. I like how Feinstein seems to differentiate between using cocaine and dying of a cocaine overdose. Sure, it's fine to use cocaine and then rehab yourself a few years later. John Lucas is a great example of this. Don't use cocaine and then die from this cocaine use, because you don't get a chance to get older and redeem yourself. Now your cocaine use becomes a character flaw. If you are going to fuck up, just be sure you live long enough to beg forgiveness for the fuck up.

Of course many people, including Lefty Driesell, who recruited and coached Bias, have convinced themselves Bias had never used cocaine before that night. Others have tried to make Bias into some kind of martyr. He was neither innocent nor a martyr.

I'm glad John Feinstein is able to have some real talk with us about Len Bias. He probably had used cocaine prior to that night, but no one really knows for sure. Bias isn't a martyr, but he is an excellent example of how drug use can derail a person's life and career.

It cost him his life — and it cost Maryland dearly.

Sure, drug use cost Len Bias his life, but his drug use really cost Maryland dearly. The Bias family could always make another baby that's a once in a lifetime athlete, but Maryland was going to need at least five to ten years to pull their program back together.

Driesell insists to this day that, in spite of his death and the way he died, Bias was good for Maryland, that many players wanted to go there because they were so enamored of him as a player. Gary Williams, who had to deal with the specter of Bias’s death when he arrived on campus in 1989, disagrees.

There were kids who were great players who were decent students who we couldn’t get in school because Maryland was trying to prove it was recruiting a different kind of athlete.

This is mainly why Len Bias shouldn't be in the University of Maryland Hall of Fame. His death led to the University raising their academic standards for athletes. How is Gary Williams supposed to coach his team if the players have to be academically eligible to get into the school? Thanks Len Bias, thanks for dying and encouraging the school to recruit a different kind of athlete. No University of Maryland athlete whose death causes the school to raise academic standards deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. No way. No how.

Of course reportedly part of the reason Gary Williams retired is because he wasn't happy that the University was not allowing some of the recruits into the school due to these recruits failing to have the requisite grades allowing them to gain entry into the University of Maryland. So Williams definitely has a type of player he recruits for better or worse and there are obviously exceptions. I think Williams really retired because he realized he had offered Alex Len a scholarship and this was such a black stain on his resume he had no choice but to retire.

I remember after we lost to Duke in the Final Four in 2001, feeling as if a lot of Maryland people still thought, ‘Well, that’s who we are. Something’s always going to go wrong.’

At least Gary Williams didn't have a victim's mentality about it. I wonder how Williams felt after Maryland won the national title the very next year? I'm sure Williams is happy with Maryland deciding to take the money and run off to the Big 10, where they will be an even more irrelevant football program and the basketball team will benefit by allowing fellow Big 10 teams inroads into recruiting in the Maryland/DC area. Guys like Juan Dixon and Lonny Baxter who went to Maryland because it was comfortable and close to home can feel safer choosing Ohio State now that they know their family can see them play in Maryland once a year or so.

It’s as if some people want to forget that the reason he died was because he did something wrong. That’s a fact, and there’s no getting away from that fact. I saw the results of it up close.

Right, Len Bias did do something "wrong." It's a little insensitive to put it that way I think, but it's factually accurate. It would be like saying I shouldn't feel bad for Juan Dixon being an orphan because his parents did something wrong and left him behind. After all, they were drug addicts and had AIDS. I'm guessing if I said I wouldn't extend sympathy to Juan Dixon because his parents did something wrong then Gary Williams would think I'm an asshole. 

“If the publicity from this reminds some kids that this can happen, this does happen, not just to famous athletes, then maybe that way some good can come of it.”

I think that's pretty much what Len Bias' death did. It's a reminder even great athletes can use drugs and die from them. 

The question, ultimately, in deciding whether someone is a hall of famer is whether they elevated their sport, their school or their profession. Some sports’ halls of fame rely strictly on numbers, even though they often paint an incomplete picture.

Of course Len Bias did before his life could be a complete picture, which I think is an important thing to know. His life was an incomplete picture. Yes, hall of fames have tended to rely on outside actions of late, but the Baseball Hall of Fame and the University of Maryland Athletics Hall of Fame have not in the past, or else guys like Gaylord Perry and John Lucas wouldn't be in each respective hall of fame.

Baseball was sullied and damaged by Rose’s actions, which should mean the privilege of being in the Hall of Fame is taken from him in spite of his remarkable achievements.

The same, sadly, should be true of Bias. There’s no questioning he lit up the Maryland campus for four years. But there’s also no questioning he left it in darkness for many years in the wake of his death.

So Len Bias should not be inducted into the Maryland Athletics Hall of Fame, not because he used drugs, but because he died while using drugs. Death was his character flaw. If he had been man enough not to suffer cardiac arrest, and then redeem himself by playing basketball well in the NBA, then he very well could deserve to be in the Maryland Hall of Fame. But like a little bitch who can't hold his drugs, he died from using cocaine, so no Hall of Fame for him. 

Unlike Rose, Bias should be forgiven.

You are forgiven for dying, Len Bias! Congratulations! John Feinstein has absolved you from the sin of dying. 

But, like Rose, he should not be honored.

Pitied, certainly. But honored? No.

Because he died from using drugs? The University of Maryland Athletics Hall of Fame already has someone inducted who used drugs, so clearly the character clause (here's a shock) is arbitrarily ignored when convenient. The lesson here to "the kids" is that if you want to make sure you get into your college's athletics hall of fame, use all the drugs you want, just don't die from using those drugs. Read Keith Richards' biography, he'll show you how to do it.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

10 comments A Look Back at LeBron James in High School

This isn't bad journalism really, but I thought it was a pretty fun read and a great example of how much the NBA can change in 10 years. This article is also a good example of those who leech themselves to young high school stars in the hopes for a payday down the line. Somehow I stumbled upon an ESPN the Magazine "Next" issue with a column about then high school junior LeBron James. It was written by Tom Friend and it partially shows the dark side of high school celebrity and has a few Antoine Walker mentions, which is just fantastic. Friend spends some time with LeBron and I get the feeling pretty much everyone was using "Bron Bron" back in the day for their own purposes.

There's this boy/man/narcissist out there, impersonating an NBA player, except he's 17 and still subject to a Catholic high school dress code. He lives in a two-bedroom Akron apartment, with an Ann Iverson clone

At the time "Ann Iverson clone" was code for "over-exuberant parent who the television cameras constantly show as she cheers for her golden ticket to keep performing well on the court."

Got like 50 pictures of MJ on my wall -- that's all you need to know about me," the phenom says. "Got Iverson, McGrady, Magic and Kobe on there, too. And myself. I'm on my wall

Clearly LeBron's ego was in full force at a very young age.

He goes out in public reluctantly, with a Celtics cap tugged low over his eyes

So LeBron is a big fan of Michael Jordan who plays for the Bulls, Allen Iverson who played for the 76ers, Tracy McGrady who played for the Magic and Magic/Kobe who played for the Lakers. Yet, he goes out in public wearing a Celtics cap? I don't think I'll ever understand this.

He's got a two-way pager on one hip and two cell phones on the other -

A pager! Welcome to 2002, everyone!

because he never knows when Antoine Walker might call

What's funny about this is now NBA players don't keep a cell phone on their hip because they are AFRAID Antoine Walker might call.

"Yo Bron, can I get some money? I'll hit you right back as soon as I get paid. Just a few bucks for the next week."

"Shoot, we were at Applebee's one day

And Antoine Walker was your server? He gave you your food (half-eaten by Antoine of course) and then did a shimmy back to the kitchen?

and Antoine Walker did call," says a buddy named Frankie Jr. "And he put him on hold. How can you put Antoine Walker on hold?"

In 2014, it's quite easy and probably preferable to put Antoine Walker on hold.

His home games are on pay-per-view for $7.95 a pop in 14 Ohio counties, and a Dec. 12 matchup with national power Oak Hill was scooped up by ESPN2. "I hope Kobe watches," the kid says. He wanted Dickie V to do the broadcast -- because it's not like he'll be playing on Big Monday next season -- but there are more important things to worry about.

I vividly remember this game and I also vividly remember watching this game on mute because Dick Vitale was calling the game.

He needs to pick a sneaker company, insure his body for at least 5 mil and cross his fingers that the judge goes easy on his surrogate father. 

I know how it can be to have to pick a sneaker company while hoping the judge goes easy on my surrogate father. It's like, "Should I do sneaker research in the court room or would that hurt my body I just insured for $5 million?"

Not since Lew Alcindor has a high school senior been hoisted this high over the bean stalk, and there's an entire basketball public tripping all over itself in anticipation. Michael calls him "Young Buck." Shaq is proud to say, "I'm in his Rolodex."

Years later when the Cavs are desperately attempting to appease LeBron and keep him in Cleveland they gave him a late-career, typically overweight Shaq as a present. Even then, Shaq was probably glad to be in LeBron's Rolodex...since I'm sure LeBron has a Rolodex. LeBron probably thinks a Rolodex is a knock-off of a Rolex.

"I mean, it took Kobe three years," says Dru Joyce II, the God-fearing St. Vincent-St. Mary's mentor who makes James do 10 push-ups every time he curses. "But everyone expects Bron to go right into the NBA and dominate. And I'm concerned about the kid."

Yeah, nobody makes LeBron do push-ups these days. He hires people to do push-ups for him.

Not so concerned that he objects to moving most of LeBron's home games to a college fieldhouse. Not so concerned that he won't accept the free adidas shoes and uniforms that Sonny Vaccaro sends in bulk. Not so concerned that he won't let LeBron James wear monogrammed "LJ 23" adidas tees, sweats and sneakers.

Ah yes, the dark side of these helpful high school coaches. They are helpful and want to make sure a star high athlete stays grounded but only when it doesn't benefit them. Joyce just wants LeBron to be a good person and be surrounded by as little hyp---wait, are those the free sneakers from Adidas? Joyce ordered the whites ones with the blue stripes and these are blue with white stripes. Send that shit back!

(Joyce does 10 push-ups on LeBron's orders)

The kid has charisma -- "Charisma? He's a damn fool," says his mother, laughing -- but he's also oblivious to the flaws of his inner circle. An ex-con is handling his business affairs. Another ex-con wants to tell him he's his biological father. Even his own mother, Gloria, has been seen trading adidas gear to gain entry to local bingo games

And I wondered why "The Decision" seemed to be handled so poorly. It's hard to remember now, but man, LeBron's mom seemed to really bask in the celebrity of her son didn't she? I mean, giving up free Adidas gear to gain entry to bingo games?

It is no surprise that he already refers to himself in the third person -- "LeBron stays humble by just being LeBron," he says -- or that he shouts "King James!" or "You sorry!" after he's dunked on you

Don't dunk on LeBron though, Nike will straight take that tape away so it can't be shown.

It is no surprise that his surrogate dad wants him to play for the Knicks -- "Mecca, Mecca," the man says; or that the NBA is already thinking about putting him on the 2004 Olympic team

The same team that became such an embarrassment it changed how USA Basketball went about choosing the players on each team and forced them to call in Coach K to win a gold for them in the next two Olympics. I have no doubt USA Basketball reminded him that he could subtlety use these Olympic basketball players to recruit players to Duke.

"Hey look, it's a picture of Coach K celebrating a gold medal with 12 really good NBA players that I look up to. I can't believe that just happened to be on the wall during my recruiting visit beside the picture of Coach K with Jay-Z and his two gold medals. What a coincidence!"

He doesn't post up yet

This didn't really change until LeBron joined the Heat and realized, "Oh shit, I am stronger and more powerful than the guy guarding me. Perhaps I should get closer to the basket?"

Scouts like that he's a people person, and predict he'll make a better teammate than Kobe

That's like being a faster sprinter than Rebel Wilson.

They say he'll be a distributor as a rookie, a go-to guy by Year 2 and on a Wheaties box by Year 3.

Move all of those projections up one year and that's about right.

He shops at the NBA Store, just gave up soda for spring water,

You mean Vitaminwater? Because according to that article, LeBron had been drinking that stuff since high school.

The real LeBron James gets inundated with free sneakers, so he gives them away for nothing in the school cafeteria, shouting out trivia questions like, "Who did we beat in the state playoffs last year?" 

Or, "How many bingo cards will this pair of shoes get my mom at this week's big bingo tournament?"

The real LeBron James once got reprimanded by his coach for wearing his shorts too low, so he pulled them up like Urkel for a week.

This was adorable when LeBron was in high school, but antics like this in the NBA gave morons like Skip Bayless a chance to knock LeBron for all of his perceived shortcomings.

The real LeBron James tells his posse they can live with him for his entire NBA career -- or at least until he gets married

LeBron didn't get married until this past Fall, so I'm sure his posse got a good decade of free rent in before LeBron didn't kick them out of the house.

"Yep, he gets called Dumbo, Airplane, anything you can come up with," says friend and teammate Sian Cotton. "We treat him like anyone else. Of course, he says he's gonna get all of us cars after the NBA draft. Tells us whatever kind of truck we want we can get."

Yeah, these teammates who want to live off LeBron found out they may get a truck from LeBron, but he can't live their lives for them otherwise.

The best estimate -- or at least what the St. V's program says -- is that he's 6'8", 240. But like most everything else with LeBron James, it's an absolute guess. The general public has been hearing about him for 2 years, ever since he was the nation's No. 1 prep as a sophomore, but his evolution can be broken down into two stages: pre-6'6" and post-6'6".\

LeBron's "evolution" can be better defined as "When LeBron's family and friends realized they can make money off James because he's so tall and good at basketball." Bottom feeders unite!

He had little stability in his early years, because of a father who never checked in and a mother who scoured the want ads. "When I was 5, some financial things happened, and I moved seven times in a year," LeBron says. "We moved from apartment to apartment, sometimes living with friends

I'm guessing "financial things happened" means LeBron and his mom were poor. But don't worry, we will learn about Gloria James' work ethic in a minute. She was up to do any job, just as long as she didn't have to wake up early in the morning. Not that LeBron was her meal ticket or anything. Not at all.

Her name is Gloria Marie James, and she's a testy, diminutive woman with a serious set of lungs: "I'm loud, can't help it." She got pregnant at 16, and it's been just her and her "Bron Bron" ever since. She says the father was a casual sex partner named Anthony McClelland, who by now is well-known within the state and county penal systems. He's been convicted of arson and theft, to name just two of his many transgressions, and he certainly wasn't the one to help Glo out of her monetary hardships.

It's almost like she should have chosen a better casual sex partner. I'm going to tell my kids that all the time. When choosing a casual sex partner, make sure this person won't be in jail and has money so he/she can help you out financially. It's the smart thing to do. Just don't go choosing a casual sex partner lightly, always ask for criminal records and the latest bank statements before agreeing to any casual sex contract.

Glo's always been late to bed, late to rise -- "I ain't into mornings"

Now I can see where LeBron got his work ethic from. I can't help but wonder if the "financial things" were in any way related to Glo's late to bed and late to rise lifestyle she kept?

According to Akron court records, she's been cited over the years for playing music too loudly, criminal trespassing, contempt of court and disorderly conduct. It's something she plays down -- "There wasn't any drugs involved" -- 

Oh, well then carry on. Nothing to see here.

I'm going to use this reasoning from now on when I didn't do something I was supposed to do to see how far it takes me.

(My boss) "Why did you not show up for work during the month of September?"

(Me) "Well, first off, I don't do mornings anymore. It's just a personal decision I've made."

(My boss) "You didn't show up during the afternoons either. Explain that to me."

(Me) "There wasn't any drugs involved."

(My boss) "That's good to hear. Speaking of hearing good things, do you want a raise?"

but it was never trivial to her son. Out of shame, he stopped going to elementary school, instead spending his days walking back and forth between his apartment and the corner store. "In fourth grade, I missed 82 days of school," LeBron says. "Out of 160."

For fear of judging another person's parenting style, I'll just say I bet Gloria doesn't want LeBron to remember this as he hands out nice shit to her now. LeBron doesn't have a very good relationship with his father and his mother should feel lucky that LeBron likes her. I mean, she didn't exactly give him such a stable environment. This article is almost reading like a cautionary tale more than it reads like the introduction from ESPN to the LeBron James success story.

When his coach, Frankie Walker, noticed LeBron didn't return to school after fourth-grade Christmas break, he quizzed some of the other parents and learned that Glo was looking to find LeBron a more stable home. After consulting with his family -- wife Pam and kids Chanelle, Frankie Jr. and Tanesha -- Walker volunteered to take the boy in.

It takes a village, right? I think this phrase is most commonly used by people who want others to take care of their child for them.

"I don't want to give the impression that Glo just dropped LeBron off on our doorstep," Pam says. "It was important to him and to her that they maintain their relationship. So, wherever she was staying, he went with her on the weekend."

Oh, well I don't feel like Gloria just dropped LeBron off at all. When she wasn't busy not taking drugs, sleeping in a little bit and being unable to hold down a steady job she took care of her child. It's a good thing LeBron could play basketball, that's what I think.

From reading this article, I wouldn't think this letter would get written twelve years later.

With Glo, LeBron would go to bed after Jay Leno; with the Walkers, he had bathrooms to clean and couldn't talk back. He didn't miss one day of school in fifth grade, and at the end of the year he took home the school's attendance award. "Best award ever," he says.

Doesn't this read like the cautionary tale of a successful high school athlete who had a shaky upbringing and then wasn't able to make it in the NBA due to having the wrong support system around him? LeBron had all the traditional red flags.

No father in his life (check)

Mother is shaky presence in his life. (check)

A ton of hype around his high school exploits. (check)

"Friends" who surround him and could very well only be looking to ride his fame. (check)

Coaches who care about him, but get their part too. (check)

Yet, 12 years later LeBron wasn't a cautionary tale about what happens when a high school athlete is hyped too much and the bottom feeders close in...not at all.

the Walkers wouldn't hear of it. They had this ritual of baking LeBron a German chocolate cake on his birthday, and hosting him every Christmas Eve. And rather than lose him, Pam and one of her friends found Gloria a permanent apartment.

And after dominating a series of tournaments, he found himself rated a top-five national prospect.

He also had a certain gleam now, because he and Glo had their own place. Pam Walker still drove him to school every morning, but after practice he wanted the gang over to his house now.


Because I'm jaded, I even think the Walkers may have wanted to hitch their wagon to a star...at least just a little bit.

Then, the summer before 10th grade, lightning struck. "I remember sleeping over at his place," Sian says. "We woke up, got some cereal, and I'm like, 'You grew two inches last night!' I swear, he grew two inches overnight! By the end of the summer, the dude was six-six something."
Six-six three-quarters inches. Exactly.

Glo was in the money now! Her Bron Bron done become a commodity!

The first sign of chaos was when he showed up at St. V's driving a Navigator. Those weren't his wheels -- they belonged to an ex-con -- and that's when the negativity kicked in

I mean, now LeBron is driving a car given to him by an ex-con. Again, doesn't this scream "cautionary tale" to you? These hangers-on and people who do favors for LeBron before he was huge (on the premise he would get huge) could easily have dragged him down. It's also disturbing how grown adults attach themselves to these young kids in an effort to make some money or get a favor done (okay, to get money) down the road. 

It was hyperbole, of course, but the talk had enough merit that shoe companies, investment firms and even Shaq needed someone to call as a go-between.

The ex-con, he was that guy. His name is Eddie Jackson, and he'd been one of Glo's boyfriends from the formative years. When he actually resurfaced is up for debate, but the LeBron regulars don't recall seeing him at any AAU games before the eighth grade


I'm going to need flow chart at some point. So Eddie Jackson was one of Glo's boyfriends, while LeBron's dad was a casual sex partner. Now using a Venn diagram did they ever overlap at any point to where Glo outsourced her sexual needs to LeBron's dad while dating Eddie Jackson for her emotional needs (i.e. cash money)?

Oh, and it doesn't take long for the hangers-on to show up, does it?

They never saw Glo, either -- "LeBron would look up in the crowd for her," Frankie Sr. says -- but from eighth grade on, Eddie and Glo never missed a free throw.

"What, I knew he was gonna be an NBA prospect in the eighth grade?" Eddie says. "Come on. That's hideous."


Exactly. Why show interest in LeBron if you don't know he will be an NBA prospect? It's hideous to know LeBron is an NBA prospect in the 8th grade and attend his games to support him. What's the point of being at the game if there isn't anything in it for you?

And if Eddie hadn't already done 27 months for drug trafficking in the early '90s, his presence might have been more palatable.

So Eddie would have been there earlier to bottom-feed and take advantage of LeBron, but he was just in jail? There was drugs involved too, so I'm sure Gloria did the best she could to keep Eddie away from LeBron. 

But he showed up at the Walkers' one Christmas Eve to give LeBron a PlayStation 2, and as the teen grew past 6'6", the gifts grew too. Last year's whopper was a '95 Ford Explorer.

Or not.

"Absolutely, I gave him the car," says Eddie, now a concert promoter and a drug-and-alcohol prevention counselor. "When you got a kid that's a 3.0 student and dominating the country in basketball, you get him whatever the hell he wants."

It seems Eddie stayed away from drugs and alcohol, at least until February 2014, but made up for his lack of being arrested by getting involved with a mortgage scam. But there wasn't no drugs involved, so I'm sure Gloria had no issue with Eddie showering LeBron with gifts.

This was the world LeBron had to somehow make sense of, and he began to confide more in Eddie than in folks like the Walkers. He asked Eddie to join Gloria as his financial adviser, and began calling Eddie Dad

LeBron turned out to be a success, but this still has all the makings of a disaster doesn't it?

But the battle for custody of LeBron's size-15 feet was only just beginning. Nike's George Raveling will be glad to know that James wears Air Force Ones in practice and once switched from adidas to Nike at halftime of a bad shooting night

Hey, Air Force Ones. Remember Nelly?

When a reporter asked Glo if LeBron would consider skipping his senior year, she chirped, "Who wouldn't?" By now she had become the town's unofficial loose cannon. She'd attend games in a "LeBron's Mom" jersey, shouting, "Yeah, baby, we going to the bank,"

This is LeBron's mom. How in the hell he turned out to be the kind of person he is I won't understand. It's always inspiring to hear about a parent using their child as a future personal ATM and attempting to bask in the spotlight of that child's talent.

and rushing the court whenever an opponent low-bridged her son. 

Gotta protect that investment. All that nice shit Glo wants isn't going to pay for itself and getting a job that involves waking up early if LeBron don't make the NBA isn't an option either.

With the fire marshal worrying about SRO crowds, most of LeBron's games were moved to the U. of Akron's 6,000-seat JAR Arena last season. The town just couldn't get enough of his 37-inch vertical and his topspin passes, and the kid was turned into a cash cow. The school has reportedly earned $200,000 to $300,000 by playing the larger venue, more than enough to buy a new sound system for its matchbox gym. "Who paid for that sound system?" Glo growls. "Bron did. And do you know they want him to pay almost $40 a year to park at school? Let me get out of this school before I get nasty."

$40 a year to park at the school? Some things just aren't fair at all. If high school athletes can't preferential treatment while getting placed in the spotlight to where that athlete will eventually make millions then that's not a world I care to be a part of.

It was inevitable, but Glo says LeBron's biological dad wants back in. Problem is, McClelland has been found guilty of theft five times and just got arrested for theft again on Nov. 12. LeBron is vetoing any meetings. "I keep that somewhere far, far away," he says.

Shit, he can't get back in now. Glo has spent a lot of time protecting her investment and then LeBron's dad wants to come back in and exercise his parental rights? No way. If you can't take the time to use Le---to raise LeBro---to hand LeBron off to another family then you don't deserve to be a part of his life.

LeBron's dad still isn't in his life by the way. 

Though the Big Fella gave him a thumbs up, he was nowhere near as intrigued as the Cavs' Lucas, who had worked out Kobe in high school and had long itched to see LeBron. "I kept hearing he was better than Kobe," Lucas says. "So I went to see him play at an AAU tournament and stayed 11 hours. Stayed 11 hours looking for a weakness

Then the Cavs fired John Lucas as the head coach before he could ever coach LeBron.

Last spring, Lucas invited James to an informal Cavs workout, then watched him dunk on Jumaine Jones and jam backward over Chris Mihm

Dunking on Jumaine Jones and Chris Mihm. Welcome to the club on that one.

But it was the kid's point guard skills that floored the coach, so much so that Lucas has no regrets about the two-game suspension and the $150,000 fine he received for bringing LeBron in

Guy pays $150,000 fine for bringing James in to practice with his team, then the Cavs fire him before he can actually coach LeBron. Also, it isn't hard to see why the Cavaliers fans were so pissed that LeBron took his talents to South Beach once he became a free agent. He was a homegrown star and the Cavs had invested in him pretty early in his high school career.

And then, thankfully, came a dose of reality. At a summer AAU game in Chicago, LeBron was undercut on a dunk and broke his left wrist. Pros like Darius Miles and Quentin Richardson were in the stands, but left as soon as they saw the kid weeping in Glo's arms. "I was like, 'Why me?' " James says. "I hear 'broken,' and I'm thinking I'm out a year, two years."

Clearly, that 3.2 GPA LeBron was sporting in high school didn't include a class on anatomy or any basic medical education. Such as, it doesn't take two years to recover from a broken bone.

At the time, Eddie was facing prison again (his sentencing for mortgage fraud was scheduled for Dec.11), and LeBron started re-evaluating. It wasn't his fault everybody around him had their calculators out. He nearly broke his neck when he tore down a rickety rim in Stow, Ohio, a month ago, but when the Stow athletic director wouldn't let Eddie have the rim as a momento, Jackson yelped, "We'll sue you then!"

That's just Dad, always looking out for his Bron Bron.

Glo chimed, "Sue, baby, sue! It'll be a sweeeeet Christmas." 


This is a very heartwarming story to hear.

So the AD said, "I'll give it to you for six autographed basketballs," at which point Glo told him, "You probably want six [favors] instead."

And quite frankly, the only one who gets favors is Glo and Eddie. How is Glo going to get into those bingo games if Bron Bron spends all his time autographing shit for other people?

"People ask me if it's a hard decision going to the NBA, but I've made harder decisions," he says. "Decisions about smoking or going to school, or stealing from a store or not stealing. Those are harder decisions. Yeah, I smoked weed. When it's around family, around friends, of course you want to try it. I tried it a couple of times. But when you get on the court and your wind ain't there, that's when you've got to just stop doing it.

Again, very heartwarming to hear it's around family. Let me think about which family member was using these drugs.

(Puts on sarcasm hat) It couldn't be Eddie because he's a drug and alcohol counselor now and would never use drugs. It couldn't be the Walkers because they were kind enough to take him in. It couldn't be LeBron's dad because he has no relationship with his dad. And we all know from the "Mommie Dearest" stories and the fact Glo ain't been arrested on no drug thing that she would NEVER use drugs. Besides, she's so level-headed any drug use on her part seems impossible.

It's a side of Bron Bron nobody has really seen since … before he was 6'6". Maybe he's finally growing up, maybe not. But when asked by friends what he wants for his 18th birthday later this month, LeBron James doesn't flinch.

He wants German chocolate cake. At the Walkers'.

But he better not think about signing anything. The only ones who can use LeBron are close family. Close real family.

This article appears in the Dec. 23 issue of ESPN The Magazine. You can watch LeBron in action Thursday Dec. 12 on ESPN2 -- followed by NEXT -- at 9 p.m. ET.

After publishing a column that partially shows how people around him are taking advantage of LeBron and exploiting him for their own financial gain, ESPN decides they wanted in on the action and will exploit LeBron for their own financial gain. You have to love ESPN that way. 

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

0 comments Phil Mushnick Probably Hates Puppies Due to Their Exaggerated Sense of Optimism

Phil Mushnick hates everything. He crapped on Adrian Peterson after the death of his son and believed Florida Gulf Coast University to be the end of humanity as we know it because of the way they celebrated their achievements on the basketball court. Just a year later college basketball still hasn't recovered from the damage Florida Gulf Coast has done to the sport. Even the name "Phil Mushnick" sounds like the name of a person who hates everything. It doesn't sound like the name of a happy person and reminds me of cold oatmeal on a dreary, rainy day. So maybe it's his name's fault that Phil seems so unhappy.

So Phil has two weird, overly nitpicky issues with the world today. One deals with sports lingo and the other deals with DeSean Jackson being a gang member. We all know by now that Phil likes racist lingo, so he obviously will also totally think Jackson is a gang member. What's interesting is Mushnick was defending the Texas Tech fan pushed by Marcus Smart, saying the media was too quick to label him a racist. Yet, Phil is quick to call Jackson a gang member when there's no proof this is true. Interesting how that works.

First, I'll start with the inane sports lingo that hurts Phil's delicate ears and offends his sense of crotchetiness.

We’ve been too hard on ourselves, blaming our runaway imaginations and caught in a trap with our superstitious minds. There is a Dept. of Linguistic Nonsense within TV networks.

Sort of like the nonsense that was the first sentence of this column?

There is because there must be.

And so it was.

Having suffered the latest new-age nonsense football season — standard, self-evident, hardly-worth-speaking acts such as jumping were decorated with fantastic claims of “verticality” and “high-pointing the football,” basketball is now under siege.

You know how you know Phil Mushnick is an older gentleman? He clearly has few cares in the world and these small little problems annoy him because he now lacks bigger, more important problems. It's why my mother can tell a 10 minute story about a refrigerator repairman making a snide comment about her fridge. She lacks bigger issues, so the fridge comment is the bigger issue. As an older gentleman, Phil lacks much bigger problems so the lingo announcers use really annoys him.

Friday night on CBS, Kentucky was up on Kansas State 29-23 with 44 seconds left in the first half, thus nearly 21 minutes left in regulation. Yet, that’s when the NCAA Tournament’s lead analyst, Greg Anthony, announced, “It’s a two-possession game.”

Oh my God, he said that? It's accurate sure, but doesn't Greg Anthony realize the ramifications of saying how many possessions Kansas State needs to tie the game up? This makes the damage Florida Gulf Coast did to college basketball last season seem minor in comparison.

It would be preposterous to even consider K-State’s strategy at that point would be to stop Kentucky from scoring on its next two possessions then shoot — and make — two consecutive 3-point shots to tie the game.

Yes, it would be preposterous to consider that strategy, but not nearly as preposterous as worrying about whether an announcer says "it's a two-possession game" or "it's a six point game." That's a real concern.

Yet, by saying “it’s a two-possession game,” rather than “it’s a six-point game” or, better yet, saying nothing and allowing the score graphic to serve its purpose, Anthony went with the latest foolish fashion

I didn't even know this was a fashion to say "It's a X-possession game." I guess this is why Phil gets paid the big bucks to point out these trends in his 100 word columns. Saying "it's a two-possession game" instead of "it's a six-point game" is really six of one, half dozen of the other. In the realm of minor deals, this is a very minor deal. Both statements are true, one annoys Phil for some reason that will forever remain unclear outside of a vague reference to "foolish fashion."

— up there with “score the basketball” — telling us K-State was now just two possessions — both 3-pointers — away from tying the game 

Saying, "it's a two-possession game" is essentially a way of pointing out Kansas State is within striking distance of tying the game up. It's a phrase.

(Coach Blatherskite: “We tried to make it a seven-possession game before the half, but we kept turning it over. We have to do a better job of reducing the number of possessions we’re down, especially three-point possessions, in the second half.”)

Just hilarious. I'm surprised Phil doesn't get a job writing comedy routines. Even Jay Leno would cringe at this joke.

Minutes later, Len Elmore, analyzing the Virginia-Coastal Carolina game on TBS, noted, with Virginia up three, “It’s a one-possession game.”

That would have held some meaning if there were, oh, 43 seconds left, but Elmore’s observation — words he’d never have considered saying a few years ago

Len Elmore has foolishly given in to this announcing trend rather than stick to saying it is a three-point game and essentially relaying the same information as if he had said "it's a three-point game." Semantics, it's what Phil Mushnick is all about.

— was seriously spoken with nine minutes left!

Nine minutes left! There were 540 seconds left in this game. 15% of an hour was left in this game. 22.5% of this game was still left and Len Elmore had the audacity to point out a #16 seed was one possession away from tying up a game against a #1 seed, which obviously isn't important considering a #1 seed has never beaten a #16 seed. Why would this information be relevant at all?

Yesterday, Stanford up 18-16 six minutes left in the first half, Anthony again chose the long-form way to say nothing, expertly noting it’s “a one-possession game.”

And of course if Anthony had noted it's "a two-point game" then this comment would have been much insightful given the fact few viewers can subtract 18 from 16 and figure this information out on their own. Stating it's "a two-point game" is also saying nothing.

The easy and simple are now served larded in excessive, silly words and expressions, as needless as they are ridiculous.

(coughs) Like this article.

Saturday, TNT studio host Matt Winer reported Iowa State’s Georges Niang will miss the rest of the NCAAs with a broken foot. “A versatile player,” said Winer, “he’s going to be missed, going forward.”

I can't believe Matt Winer said this. Shocking really.

“Going forward”? That’s another one, as if … aw, forget it.

What Winer meant was "going forward" through the NCAA Tournament Niang will be missed. Obviously he will be missed in the future, but as Iowa State tries to advance in the NCAA Tournament his presence will be missed "going forward" though the tournament. That's what he meant and it makes sense to say this.

Neither Jim Nantz nor Greg Anthony saw fit to note Sunday that Stanford, up three and with chances to commit a foul with under :08 left, allowed Kansas’ best long-range shooter a shot to tie the game near the buzzer!

Probably because they were too busy pointing out it was a one-possession game!

Now Phil Mushnick rails against me-first antics and also jumps to the conclusion that DeSean Jackson obviously was a gang member. Because Phil is clearly an expert on gangs and gang behavior, he KNOWS DeSean Jackson is a gang member. 

Q: When is the logical, decent time to start a weekend MLB game in NYC in April? 1 p.m., no?

I don't know, why is that a good time to start a weekend MLB game in New York City? Also, I like how Phil writes "decent" in there as if any other option would be fairly considered indecent.

Well, four weekend April night games are scheduled — two Yankee Sunday 8:05 numbers for ESPN, two Saturday 7:10 jobs for SNY’s Mets.

Oh no, have you called the police and reported the Mets/Yankees for public indecency? What did they say about this?

Baseball’s gold standard, on Bud Selig’s watch, remains gold. Patrons now can choose between being taken for granted and going to hell.

I think this may be a little bit of an overreaction to two 7:10pm and two 8:05pm start times for baseball games.

We’re lost in the woods.

"Everything was better when gays kept it to themselves, blacks had their own water fountains, and women were allowed to vote but only when they weren't cleaning the house. Society is lost now. The only thing to do is complain about it and hold covertly racist opinions."

Why would it be shocking if DeSean Jackson, is affiliated with a gang, and thus likely to be party, witness or have knowledge of blood and body-bag crime?

Because this doesn't seem like the natural path for one of the NFL's best receivers to take when he has plenty of options available to him because of his athletic skill and ability to generate income from that skill? Why wouldn't it be shocking that DeSean Jackson is affiliated with a gang?

At this point, in a world gone nuts, there must be dozens of NCAA, NFL and NBA players who belong to drugs-guns-murder street gangs,

No hockey players though, because they are mostly white and we all know white athletes would never belong to drugs-guns-murder street gangs. There's no way some of those Russian hockey players would have ANY ties to the Russian mafia, which apparently Phil Mushnick doesn't count as a drugs-guns-murder street gang because they are just so damned organized! Hockey definitely has never had a gang problem. Not at all. 

“Omerta,” as per gang-bangers, is childishly known as “don’t snitch.” But violators suffer similar results: They become dead people, friends and/or family often included. 

And none of this has seemed to happen in the case of DeSean Jackson, hence why it would be shocking that he is a member of the Crips. I know it's easy to jump to conclusions when they fit a preconceived notion, but Jackson wouldn't be the first athlete to know gang members but not have an actual affiliation to them or participate in their gang activities.

The condition of money-mutilated college sports placed Jackson, on full scholarship, at prestigious Cal-Berkeley, where, perhaps, he first met Crips in the library or when invited to play on their intramural softball team.

Absolutely hilarious. It's not at all possible the DeSean Jackson grew up around Crips and that explains how he knows them. I like how Phil wants to be so certain that Jackson is affiliated with the Crips. It's important to rush to judgment in situations like this.

Jackson’s an enormously talented receiver or no one would care if he lived — maybe even to 30 — or died.

Son of a bitch, Phil is acting like Jackson is deeply affiliated with the Crips and when he isn't catching passes he's out gang-banging in his local neighborhood. This entire sentence works under the assumption that Jackson is a member of the Crips and is in immediate danger of dying (which of course who cares if he dies or not, right?) in a hail of gun fire.

But if his off-field act tilts toward the criminal, his on-field conduct is a form of premeditated, first-degree assault on his sport.

Brilliant writing here to tie in Jackson's clearly obvious gang connections with Mushnick's extreme dislike for athletes celebrating their achievements on the field. Why doesn't Jackson just go and wear a fur coat on the sidelines like only the modern me-first athlete would?

He’s among the NFL’s most self-involved post-catch me-dancers, exceedingly self-impressed, regardless of the score or other pertinent team circumstances.

It seems Phil Mushnick wants DeSean Jackson to be a gang member simply because he doesn't like the way Jackson behaves on the field.

Jackson’s on-field behavior is so repugnant, NBC chose him to star perform a me-dance in the intro to every Sunday night NFL telecast.

That is repugnant to celebrate after catching a touchdown pass. Clearly, DeSean Jackson deserves to die in the most violent fashion possible. Fortunately, he is an active member of the Crips and takes part in killing human beings, so he will probably be murdered fairly soon. What a great day for Phil Mushnick that will be.

The Jets remain interested, regardless? If so, no surprise. The Woody Johnson Jets have shown an eagerness to pursue every talented creep who becomes available as a matter of can’t-indulge-him-any-longer expendability.

I know, look at them trading for Tim Tebow just a few years ago.

New Jet Michael Vick, a felon, tweeted support of his ex-Eagles teammate: “Want to wish my bro [Jackson] much success where ever he land his next opportunity.”

Oh my, Mike Vick supports DeSean Jackson. The obviousness that Jackson is a low-life criminal has never been made more plain.

He’s another who should avoid tweeting rather than universally suggest that he’s another college man — Virginia Tech — with literacy issues. Why not just call Jackson, wish him luck?

I don't know, maybe the same reason Phil Mushnick doesn't call DeSean Jackson and tell him his behavior on the field is repugnant or the same reason Phil Mushnick compliments people in his column rather than call these people. Maybe Phil should call Mike Vick and tell him he thinks he has literacy issues. Phil uses this column to compliment people, saying things like this:

Not that TV’s shot-callers would know or care, but Jim Spanarkel, who neither shouts nor hollers, specializes in saying useful things.

Saturday on CBS, early in Michigan-Texas — Michigan up 11-6 and out-running Texas, Spanarkel claimed the Longhorns were short on oxygen. “There are a couple of guys out there who are waiting — desperately — for a timeout.”

Two seconds later, Texas missed a shot, Michigan rebounded then out-ran Texas the other way to score a quick, easy layup.

If Vick should just call Jackson (because all felons have each other's phone number of course), then why doesn't Phil just call Spanarkel?

Then, because he hasn't nitpicked this issue enough, Phil takes time in this column to complain about announcers saying "it's a X-possession game."

With 3:10 left in the first half of Louisville-Kentucky, Greg Anthony reported, “it’s “a two-possession game.” Good thing he did. Otherwise, writes reader Jeff Butler of Stratford, Conn., “I might not have stuck around for the end.”

It's sad to see someone agrees with Phil. These are his readers.

Two minutes later — 21 of them left in regulation — Anthony, who again might have allowed the score to speak for itself, said it’s “a one-possession game.”

Because this is so much sillier than just saying "it's a two-point game" or something similar to that. They say the same thing of course. What else should we expect from Greg Anthony? He was part of the UNLV team in the early 90's that was just a bunch of gang-bangers and felons playing basketball when they weren't out killing people.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

4 comments MMQB Review: Coming Out Edition

Peter King said goodbye last week to his super-long MMQB columns that he publishes during the NFL season. Now instead of 5-6 pages of NFL news with three of those pages being Peter's personal thoughts, quotes of the week, tweets of the week, travel notes, and facts that only interest him, his readers will get 2-4 pages of NFL news with two of those pages being Peter's personal thoughts, quotes of the week, tweets of the week, travel notes, and facts that only interest him. Peter discussed the end of the NFL season last week while discussing Percy Harvin's big debut as a Seahawk (he's totally worth the money now) and eulogized Philip Seymour-Hoffman. This week in the first offseason MMQB, Peter talks about Michael Sam who could be the first openly gay NFL player (shockingly, it is mentioned that the Patriots could draft Sam...since any semi-controversial player like Tim Tebow is tied to the Patriots out of habit), a new concussion study, continues to eulogize Phillip Seymour Hoffman because apparently he and Peter were very close, frustratingly doesn't cut any of the filler in MMQB since it is now the offseason and talks about how he bit a man's hands off on a plane. 

The news spread quickly across the NFL Sunday night. Then again, The New York Times report about mid-round draft prospect Michael Sam, the Missouri defensive end, coming out as gay two weeks before the scouting combine and 12 weeks before the draft wasn’t a surprise to every team in the league.

The Colts knew because Ryan Grigson knows everything. Grigson immediately traded his first round draft pick to move up and draft Michael Sam...then Grigson realized he had already traded his first draft choice this year and gave up a 2nd and 3rd round pick to move up 10 spots in order to pick Michael Sam. Sportswriters around the NFL agreed this was a brilliant move.

I spoke to four club officials Sunday—three general managers, one scout—and the reaction to a third-round prospect being gay ran the gamut.

What does Sam being a third-round prospect have anything to do with it? If he was a first round prospect would their reaction to the news be different? If the reaction changes based on the player's projected draft position then maybe it is smart to evaluate that player on his skill, as opposed to judging him on whether he likes girls or guys.

I spoke to all anonymously, because with such a touchy subject, I assumed all would either no-comment me (and one other GM did) or say something so sanitized it wouldn’t really be the truth. I don’t like to do anonymous sources to write an entire story, but I felt in this case it would give the best information possible.

The bottom line will always be if a guy can play football well. If Tim Tebow was as good as Russell Wilson then the rest of the shit surrounding him about his faith and the media attention would be worth it. If Michael Sam can play football, then he'll be worth the risk of the media attention. Others have covered this already, but I also like how Peter went into this offering anonymity because there's NO WAY any NFL official would give a quote with a name behind it...except NFL owners and officials have already done so. Peter apparently isn't willing to touch his contacts to actually give informed information on Michael Sam coming out of the closet. 

“It’ll totally depend on your leadership,” the scout said. “A team with strong leadership at coach and in the locker room, like New England, I would imagine, would be okay. I could see Belichick say, ‘This is the way it is. There’s no story.’ 

Well, of course. New England could have signed Jeffrey Dahmer and it would not have been a big deal. The Patriots are the go-to organization whenever it comes to wondering where a prospect with a shaky history or questions about how his personality fits a team. And yes, obviously a team would have to have strong leadership at coach and in the locker room. Most successful NFL organizations need this anyway.

“We talked about it this week,” the GM said. “First of all, we don’t think he’s a very good player. The reality is he’s an overrated football player in our estimation.

Of course if Sam puts up tremendous numbers at the Combine in Indianapolis then all of a sudden he is a guy who only flashed a little bit of his potential at Missouri and his draft stock will shoot up, followed by an anonymous GM wondering if Michael Sams will be distracted by all the penises he will see in an NFL locker room. 

I asked this general manager: “Do you think he’ll be drafted?”
 
“No,” he said.

It might be better for Michael Sam to not get drafted. Then he could choose the team he wants to play for, as opposed to being selected by a team that may not have the type of environment he needs to succeed.

And of course there is no way any of these GM's are acting cold on Michael Sams in the hopes his draft stock falls and that GM's team can pluck him up later than expected in the draft. 

Sam is from Hitchcock, Texas, near Galveston on the Gulf Coast. He led the SEC this year in combined sacks and tackles for loss and was voted the SEC Defensive Player of the Year. But he is smallish for an NFL defensive end or pass rushing outside linebacker at 6-1 ½ and 260 pounds.

If his name was "Barkevious Mingo" he would be a Top-10 draft pick. Is it Sam's height that is holding him back? Because Dion Jordan, Barkevious Mingo, Dion Jordan, and Bruce Irvin all weigh less than 260 pounds and Aldon Smith only weighs 5-10 pounds more than Sam. They were all early first round draft choices. I guess Michael Sam isn't considered tall enough to play outside rushing linebacker in the NFL. Otherwise, his weight doesn't seem to have an impact on whether he could be an outside pass rushing linebacker in the NFL or not.

Before the bombshell, Sam was rated as a third- or fourth-round prospect by many draft outlets. Mel Kiper had him as a fourth-rounder, pre-announcement, on ESPN Sunday night.

BUT DID MEL KIPER KNOW SAM IS A LITTLE UNDER 6'2"? OBVIOUSLY NOT, BECAUSE THEN HE WOULD CONSIDER SAM TO BE UNDRAFTABLE. 

But NFL personnel people fear that a player of his size who is not very quick will be neutralized by the bigger, athletic NFL tackles.

Oh, so it's already known that Sam isn't very quick? Wow, it's almost like there's no need for a Pro Day or the Combine.

He has a reputation for being a team guy willing to do what his coaches ask. His teammates at Missouri obviously like him a lot. He told them about his sexuality before last season, and they kept his secret for him.

I don't think it is a matter of liking Sam or not, but it's just respectful to keep a secret that one of your players may have when that secret isn't against the law. It's just respectful, whether Sam was well-liked or not.

“The big factor here is that the initial storm will come now, and not after he’s drafted, like maybe he was trying to hide it,” one GM said. “That’s a big factor in his favor. Very big.”

Well absolutely. Sam coming out now gives NFL GM's a reason to blame Sam's play on the field for not drafting him, rather than just admitting they don't want a gay man in their team's locker room.

I don't know if the NFL is ready for an openly gay athlete. Probably not if the Kerry Rhodes situation was any measure (I know Kerry Rhodes isn't gay, not at all...never), but that wasn't necessarily the best measure because Rhodes was a veteran who had certain contract demands before he would sign with a team. It seems to me that Sam coming out before the draft will give GM's who weren't going to draft him because he's gay to blame their not drafting him on his skill set. I like how this one GM is pretending that Sam is in better shape now by admitting he is gay before the draft as opposed to keeping his sexuality a secret until after he was drafted. Sam is clearly going to be taken off or moved down some teams draft boards because he is gay. It's like saying Michael Sam is in better shape getting caught with a pound of cocaine in his car prior to the draft as opposed to getting drafted and then getting caught with a pound of cocaine in his car. Because after all, now GM's can ask him about the issue they previously didn't know existed and this could bias their evaluation of him, as opposed to this issue having nothing to do with where Sam is drafted.

As this GM said, if a player makes a bombshell announcement before the combine and allows every team to interrogate him about it, he stands a better chance of the story burning out before the player ever reports to training camp. What could doom the player, he said, would be hiding this when it was likely to come out—either by the player or some other way. Teams do not like surprises.

I can understand this. Either way it's a red flag though, and like any other red flag it can used as a reason to take a draft-eligible player off a certain's draft board. So while I understand that teams don't like surprises, this surprise has nothing to do with Sam's character or whether he is reliable enough to count on to be a part of the team.

That’s why it’s naïve to suggest Sam’s coming out will have no effect on where he’s drafted, as the respected Kiper said on ESPN Sunday night. It could be that a liberal owner and progressive coach like Jeffrey Lurie and Chip Kelly of the Eagles will not care at all, and if he’s there in the fourth or fifth round will grab him.

Wrong. Only the Patriots have the foresight to draft a guy like Michael Sam. That's the story, stick to it. I also still love that Sam's disclosure of his sexuality is "a big factor in his favor," yet he probably is going to be drafted later due to this factor. This doesn't make sense, though it is perfect logic that a GM might use so he can act like Sam's disclosure won't really affect his draft position. So Sam coming out of the closet now is a big factor in his favor, but not a big enough factor of course to stop him from possibly sliding in the draft. What would have really been a big factor in Sam's favor is if he had just kept quiet or denied it when the question of his sexuality was asked of him. That's assuming Sam cares about his draft position of course.

And the team that takes Sam has to know what the trailblazing aspect of his presence will bring: the news shows as well as sports shows, the constant buzz when the team goes on the road, the slurs bound to come his way sometime.

Players hear slurs all the time when traveling and playing road games. They aren't always slurs about sexuality of course.

During the draft, a team that has Sam graded barely above another pass-rush prospect in the third or fourth round may ask itself: Will all the distractions—the network news trucks, the questioning of his teammates about accepting a gay teammate—be worth it? Or should we just draft the other guy and not worry about Sam’s off-field stuff?

From a business perspective I can completely understand this. It's how I feel about Jason Collins not getting a job in the NBA or Tim Tebow not having a job in the NFL. If the player is worth all the crap that the media will surround him with, then he's worth the chance, but a team has to be sure that player is worth the crap the media will surround them with. I do think it is disingenuous for any NFL GM to pretend Michael Sam has done himself a favor by revealing his sexuality prior to the Combine and draft. I think this comes from a more selfish place where a GM is trying to make it seem like Sam helped himself, but in reality this isn't true, but it's better to see open-minded now and blame not drafting Sam on his performance at his Pro Day or the Combine.

I get why NFL teams wouldn't draft Michael Sam. I just would prefer they not pretend he didn't help himself or do anyone but NFL teams a favor by revealing this information prior to the draft and Combine.

Pete Carroll was hired as Seattle coach early in 2010, followed a week later by a Green Bay scout he didn’t know, John Schneider. It’s no secret Carroll has done a terrific job coaching the Seahawks, which we all can see.

Hence, why it is no secret Carroll has done a terrific job coaching the Seahawks...because we all can see he's done a terrific job. This statement sounds redundant.

And Schneider has done a terrific job of personnel acquisition, which we all can see. But one thing about their arranged marriage that’s overlooked—I believe—is how two men who were thrown together have meshed into such a good combination.

Really, any combination of a GM and head coach tends to be an arranged marriage in some aspect, though I understand what Peter is saying. Harbaugh and Trent Baalke was an arranged marriage since Baalke was hired just before Harbaugh was hired.

Peter lists out all of the players the Seahawks have hit on in the draft since 2010 and it is very impressive. It's almost like drafting well is the key to building a successful NFL team.

An interesting new study by a team including Gregory D. Myer, the director of research in sports medicine at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center, reports a correlation between a reduction of concussions and playing football at higher altitude. In the current issue of the Journal of Orthopaedic and Sports Physical Therapy, Myer’s group found that of the 300 concussions involving 284 NFL players suffered in the 2012 and 2013 regular seasons, there was a 30 percent reduction in the chances for concussion in games played at stadiums with an altitude of at least 644 feet.

But at 645 feet the players are fucked I guess. Gregg Easterbrook would not like the hyperspecificity of the altitude in the study being at 644 feet.

He says that at higher altitudes—Denver, for instance, is a mile above sea level—less oxygen and more blood flows into the brain, and the brain expands with more blood flowing into it. “That means the brain fills the excess space more inside the skull at higher altitudes,” said Myer. “There is less brain slosh.” Playing at higher altitudes, Myer theorized, increased the volume of what he called the “bubble wrap” inside the skull, creating a tighter fit and thus reducing brain slosh.

So the solution to reducing concussions is to play all NFL games at an altitude of 644 feet or more. 

Myer and his group think the NFL’s effort at stemming concussions, which is heavily based on improvements in helmet technology, is off base. “The brain already has a helmet,” Myer said in an email. “It’s called a skull/cranium.” No matter how good the helmet is, Myer thinks, the brain is going to move in it when struck violently.

Obviously the NFL would like to stem concussions entirely, but Myer's research shows this can't be done even if all of the games were played at an altitude of 644 feet. So I don't think the NFL is off base because they are trying to reduce concussions and prevent them as much as possible. Concussions will still occur, because as Myer says, the brain is going to move when struck violently. So I don't think the NFL is off base in trying to reduce the impact of the brain sloshing around when stuck violently. I think if improving helmet technology can reduce concussions then this is a solution that should be explored.

So could this be the precursor to teams at high altitudes, such as Denver, having a built-in advantage in free agency because concussions are less likely to occur a mile above sea level?

Probably not. Only eight games are played at this high altitude during a season (more if the team gets a playoff game and if you wanted to count two exhibition games), so there are still eight games played at a lower altitude. Is a player that intentionally plays a violent game where he could suffer long-term brain damage going to pass up more money in order to play at a higher altitude to (maybe) prevent a concussion? Not many players would do this.

So this company has sprouted up called Fantex, and it cut a check to San Francisco tight end Vernon Davis for $4 million a couple of weeks ago. Not that this is earth-shattering, because famous players make all kinds of silly money off the field. But this caught my eye because Davis didn’t have to do anything for the money. It’s his, free and clear, with this one proviso: Ten percent of all the money he makes in football and all football-related ventures (such as working in an NFL broadcast booth or studio after his career) goes back to Fantex—and you can profit from it by buying stock in Vernon Davis. Davis cannot discuss the deal until after the Securities and Exchange Commission approves it.

Bill Simmons is clearly pleased because he's wanted to buy stock in crazy occurrences that happen during an NFL game, so this is one step closer to that occurring. Otherwise, I'm not buying stock in any athlete. It just sounds like a bad idea to me.

So this company has sprouted up called Fantex, and it cut a check to San Francisco tight end Vernon Davis for $4 million a couple of weeks ago. Not that this is earth-shattering, because famous players make all kinds of silly money off the field. But this caught my eye because Davis didn’t have to do anything for the money. It’s his, free and clear, with this one proviso: Ten percent of all the money he makes in football and all football-related ventures (such as working in an NFL broadcast booth or studio after his career) goes back to Fantex—and you can profit from it by buying stock in Vernon Davis. Davis cannot discuss the deal until after the Securities and Exchange Commission approves it.

My issues with this lies in how would I know what the stock is valued at and how to measure the value of a stock in Vernon Davis? Also, the possibility of insider trading is absolutely enormous. Say I am a FOX Sports employee and I know Vernon Davis is high among the list of athletes we are looking to hire after his playing career is over. At that point, I'm going to buy stock in Vernon Davis because I know he is high on the list of players the network wants to hire in the future. So isn't that some sort of insider trading? I have information not available to the general public about Vernon Davis and his future earnings potential that could cause his stock to increase. The same goes for if I was an employee who worked for Vernon Davis' agent. Say I am the assistant to Vernon Davis' agent and I know he has begun contract negotiations to extend his contract. At that point, I am going to buy stock in Vernon Davis and encourage my friends and family to do so as well. Wouldn't this be considered some sort of insider trading?

“Doug! We whipped their a–. That s— wasn’t even close.”

—Russell Wilson, 90 minutes after the Seahawks won the Super Bowl, to teammate Doug Baldwin in the Seattle locker room, as captured by Sports Illustrated’s Scott Price in his insightful game story in the magazine last week.

Well, at least he was classy about the victory and didn't privately talk about how bad the Seahawks had beaten the Broncos. I would imagine if Jay Cutler won the Super Bowl and gloated like afterwards then Peter King would find it to be bad sportsmanship and not at all cutesy like he finds it to be when Russell Wilson says this.

Of course, it does help that what Russell Wilson says here is true.

“Guys feel like, ‘If I can do this, it keeps me away from maybe Vicodin, it keeps me away from pain prescription drugs and things that guys get addicted to.’ Guys look at this as a more natural way to heal themselves, to relieve stress and also to medicate themselves for pain. Guys are still going to do it.”

—Free agent safety Ryan Clark, in comments to ESPN about teammates on the Steelers using marijuana.

I am enjoying all of this justification for why the NFL should take marijuana off the list of banned substances. It's fantastic to hear the players justifying the use of marijuana with saying it helps them kick other drugs or it helps to relieve stress. Just be honest. Players want to smoke pot. That's what they want to do and they don't want to get suspended for doing so. I'm sure for a certain percentage of players they do want to relieve stress or medicate themselves, but I'm guessing the majority of players just want to smoke pot.

“He had a rare ability to illuminate the varieties of human ugliness. No one ever did it so beautifully.”

—A.O. Scott of The New York Times, on actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was found dead of a suspected heroin overdose on Feb. 2 at age 46.

I recognize someone (out of the 8 readers) probably thought I was being insensitive last week when discussing Philip Seymour Hoffman's death. So I will run the risk of being insensitive again. Hoffman was an actor. He wasn't anything more or anything less. He didn't illuminate the varieties of human ugliness, he pretended to be someone for a role. And yes, other people have done it more beautifully. He is an actor who had a drug problem that killed him. It's sad for his family, but it's no sadder than the other people who die everyday from drug-related issues. Stop making him a deity and something more than he is. He's an actor who helped to cause his own death through his drug use. Caused or not caused by addiction, this is sad, but the amount of bullshit I am reading about Hoffman as if he cured cancer, relentlessly fought to feed the hungry and homeless or made another large societal impact on par with the world's greatest individuals is tiresome. He was a great actor and he is dead now. Just let him be a great actor, don't wax poetic prose about him as if he were something more. I despise how celebrities are put on a pedestal as if because they are famous, this makes them better than the average individual.

One variety of human ugliness that Hoffman did illuminate is the effect drugs have on people and the loved ones who had to suffer with his use of drugs. It wasn't beautiful, it's tragic. I want all the star-fucking to stop. I enjoyed some of his movies, but he didn't have a great positive societal impact outside of his role in movies and using the word "shart" in a sentence. I have no problem with eulogizing Hoffman, but when fancy words get thrown into a sentence to make Hoffman more than he was it begins to irritate me.

One last thing...I read Aaron Sorkin's eulogy in "Time" for Hoffman and one comment made by Hoffman to Sorkin really irritated me (I know, imagine that). He said if he or Sorkin died of an overdose then it would mean 10 other people wouldn't. Of course Sorkin, being the type of person he is (meaning an out of touch Hollywood idiot), painted this as heroic and somewhat kind. It's not. It's simply justification from an addict for his addiction and Hoffman trying to turn himself into a martyr. This comment is something an addict says to make it seem like his addiction is noble or there is some good end to an eventual overdose. There's not. This comment is simply proof that Hoffman was like every other person who became a slave to drugs, willing to do and say anything to justify his actions to himself. It also takes a good amount of hubris to paint yourself as a martyr like this.

“Greatest actor of his generation,” Charlie Rose said the other day when we spoke, and I absolutely agree.

Is this like when Peter called Derek Jeter "the greatest baseball player of his lifetime" and then later clarified Peter didn't mean his actual lifetime, but just the last 20 years or so? If so, I still don't agree. If not, I completely disagree. Hoffman was a great actor, but where was all of Peter's kind words for Hoffman when he was still alive, besides completely non-existent? I never have read Peter state Hoffman is the best actor of his generation until Hoffman died. And Peter writes 48 MMQB's every year where he dedicates an entire section to thoughts like who is the greatest actor of his generation.

Pete Carroll, players’ coach. That was one of the storylines, and rightfully so, of Super Bowl week. I saw one aspect of it, as the Pro Football Writers of America’s pool reporter for Seahawk practices on Wednesday and Friday before the game. The music. Much has been made of Carroll playing loud music from the start of practices to the end.

Nice, I like how this works. Peter says "much has been made" about Pete Carroll playing loud music from the start of practices to the end, but neglects to mention he is probably the leader in making much of Carroll playing loud music. It was a part of last week's MMQB. Nothing like making a story big and then reporting on that story being big.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

See, I told you that Peter skimps on the football content but doesn't dare cut back on all the other filler for MMQB. It's frustrating that an NFL column cuts back on the NFL-related material during the offseason while all the non-NFL-related material doesn't get cut back at all. I guess it tells me what kind of material Peter considers to be truly important.

The most annoying thing about air travel, February 2014 Edition, from a Delta flight last week: The guy in front of you who not only reclines his seat completely so it’s in your face, but is a bulbous guy who then falls asleep with his two meaty hands (meatier than “Man Hands” in Seinfeld) stretched behind his head over the seat and into your airspace.

That is annoying and I feel like my life has been considerably enriched by Peter imparting me with this knowledge. Obviously Peter is the only one who has ever been inconvenienced while traveling, so it's very important he tells us how difficult his life can be while traveling.

So I bit them off and spat them out on the floor.

Wait, what? I did a search for this phrase and it didn't appear to be a quote from a television show or movie. Perhaps I didn't look hard enough, but why would Peter bite this man's hands off and spit them on the floor? If he did that, then another passenger on the plane who is writing his own weekly column could talk about in his weekly travel note how his trip on a Delta flight was disturbed by a middle-aged man listening to U2 working on a laptop with a Brett Favre screensaver biting off a man's hands.

Is this supposed to be funny? Peter can't be referring to this can he?

I wrote a fairly unfunny post a few years ago in a fake MMQB about Peter King committing random murders and this "biting hands" mention was pretty close to one of the fake situations I set up in that fake MMQB.

At the time, I enjoyed writing that post. There are too many food jokes in it, but I think the method by which Peter commits the murders holds up well. Also, if you choose to click the link notice using the voice of Peter King I basically predicted on May 13, 2008 that the Saints would win the Super Bowl the next year. Maybe I should try to write bad parody more often.

“With drops factored in, Aaron Rodgers was league’s most accurate QB this season. Accurate on 79.3% of passes.”

—@PFF, the Pro Football Focus Twitter account.

Peter certainly isn't buying that Aaron Rodgers was the most accurate QB in the NFL this season. How does this reflect on Brett Favre? Not good, so Peter has to question it.

I think that’s great … and I’m sure it is a hugely impressive number. Does accurate mean “catchable?”

I'm pretty sure "accurate" means passes that were thrown to a receiver that were considered catchable. It means ignoring anything that Aaron Rodgers couldn't control, how accurate of a passer was he?

And I need context. Anyone else close?

Hey asshole, get a subscription to the site you can look these statistics up. You want the information, pay for it. That's how it works.

Ten Things I Think I Think

I think Peter King needs to quit telling his readers to "google" or do an internet search for some sort of information while refusing to do any research on questions he might have.

2. I think Jimmy Graham is a tight end, regardless of where he lines up on the field. It’s ludicrous there’s even a discussion about whether Graham should be tendered as a tight end (at a franchise number of $6.8 million) or wide receiver (at $11.6 million).

I think it's ridiculous that Peter King can't read the CBA and see how it clearly defines whether a player should be tendered as one position or another. A player should be tendered at the position he most often played and Graham was most often lined up outside as a receiver as opposed to lining up like a traditional tight end. Therefore, Graham should probably be considered a wide receiver, no matter what Drew Brees says may be true otherwise.

Remember the San Francisco-Baltimore Super Bowl, when the 49ers split out tight ends and even fullback Bruce Miller consistently during the game? Splitting a player away from the formation doesn’t mean he’s not what he is defined as. It’s going to be a sad day for football if head coaches like Sean Payton have to consider when they formulate a game plan, “Well, I can’t flex Graham out too often, or he’ll be considered a wide receiver.” 

While I agree the NFL has changed and a tight end can play away from the formation, the fact remains that Jimmy Graham most often runs routes out of a position that is traditionally considered to be that of a wide receiver. It would be a sad day anyway if a coach ever formulated a game plan based on making sure one of his best players doesn't receive as much money in free agency as that player may deserve to get.

Just a stupid, stupid can of worms that has been opened up.

Blame the CBA and then tell Jimmy Graham why he shouldn't try to  maximize his earning potential. Give Graham a good reason why he shouldn't try to make as much money as possible while healthy and playing a very violent sports.

4. I think my readers would say this to Howard Katz, the NFL’s schedule and TV czar: We want Denver at Seattle to open the season on Sept. 4. That’s not me, necessarily, though I’d certainly like to see it. That was the decisive sentiment from readers after I posed the possibilities for the NFL’s first game next season.

Of course Peter only gave his readers the opportunity to choose four teams from the eight home games the Seahawks will play next season, so maybe his readers would prefer to see the Seahawks play one of the other four teams that Peter didn't deem worthy to make the cut.

5. I think Seattle’s 2012 draft should be a clarion call to the smart people in our business to knock off draft grades. They are stupid. They are mindless and misleading candy for fans and those who think no one remembers what’s written or said 10 minutes after it’s published or aired.

This is why I update draft grades from guys like Mel Kiper every few years to see where he was correct and wrong. I gave the Seahawks a "6" based mainly on the fact I didn't mind the Bruce Irvin pick. These draft grades are just stupid fun and I would worry about what my grades reflect, other than my opinion, if I was trying to make a living off giving draft grades to teams like certain draft experts do. My analysis of the Seahawks wasn't exactly spot-on of course. It was just guessing like the "experts" are guessing.

Sampling other grades:

• NFL.com: C-plus. Seattle “took a lot of chances.”
 

• CBSSports.com: C-plus. Seattle “took Russell Wilson in the third when they just signed Matt Flynn. Why?”
 

• SI.com: C. “Russell Wilson has a bright future, even if Seattle really didn’t need him.”
 

• Mel Kiper: C-minus.
 

• Bleacher Report: D. The Seahawks “messed up … with Russell Wilson after having signed Matt Flynn this offseason.” (Another Bleacher Report draft review gave the Seahawks the only “F” grade in the class.)
 

• USA Today: Didn’t grade drafts with a letter, but basically did the same thing, ranking the drafts from 1 to 32. Seattle was 26th.

I'm surprised Mel Kiper even had the balls to give a team a "C-" grade. Usually he just hands out "C's" and low "B's" then calls it a day.

7. I think I have one comment about Seattle linebacker K.J. Wright saying the Seahawks would beat Denver 90 out of 100 times:

What's the comment, Peter? You have me on the edge of my seat as if I were watching a movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman in it.

He’s right.

Great comment. Great drama behind the comment. Very worthwhile.

9. I think Carolina’s Greg Hardy—just 25, and coming off a 15-sack season—could be the jewel of free agency if the Panthers let him get away. Young pass rushers are what every teams wants, and there are teams with lots of cap money (Oakland comes to mind) who could make Hardy think twice about going back to Charlotte.

Now seven of Hardy's sacks came in the last two games of the season against a rookie left tackle and the Falcons offensive line, so keep that in mind. Hardy will be franchised by Carolina most likely, but I find it interesting some of the criticism of Michael Sam from anonymous GM's (are there any other kind this time of year?) who said all but 2.5 of his 11 sacks came against crappy teams in the SEC. I'm betting many of the same GM's wouldn't mind a shot at signing Greg Hardy, who had half of his sacks come in the last two weeks of the season and was completely shut out by the 49ers outstanding offensive line in the playoffs. I'm guessing similar criticism of Sam and who he accumulated his sacks against won't transfer to Hardy in any way.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

b. Fifty years ago on Sunday, The Beatles debuted in America on The Ed Sullivan Show (in the Manhattan theater where David Letterman’s show is now produced) with “I Want To Hold Your Hand.’’ Never knew that, after the show, they recorded another set that was played, to another ratings bonanza, on the show two weeks later.

I never understood the fascination with the Beatles. They were one of the first boy bands, then got serious enough to put out average and really good music, and finally disbanded to have solo careers. They got together and broke up over a span of less than a decade. They were really good, but they are more of a cultural milestone for me than they are a really good band whose music I absolutely love.

e. Thank you, A-Rod, for accepting your suspension and not subjecting the world to your bunk for the next two months.

Apparently "bunk" is defined as "Being suspended despite having failed zero drug tests while MLB pays for documents and testimony from a person who has all the incentive in the world to avoid punishment by working with MLB and nobody cares because it's A-Rod."

f. What an admirable figure Joe Tacopina is.
g. And I say that in absolute jest.

He was hired to do a job and he tried to do it. You don't have to like him.

k. Charles Barkley is such a one-of-a-kind analyst. On a conference call to promote TNT’s NBA All-Star Game stuff next week, Barkley said of the Nets, a team on a 12-4 streak at the time of his words: “The Nets stink, man … They’re beating up on a bunch of ugly chicks in the Eastern Conference. Don’t act like they’ve got a good team. Stop it.”

Peter knows nothing about the NBA and doesn't pay attention to what's happening, but he knows enough to know this is spot-on analysis.

The Adieu Haiku
Dylan sang it well:
Don’t criticize what you can’t
understand … today.


I guess the Adieu Haiku made the cut to be in the offseason MMQB's. Yippee...