I imagine the home of Skip Bayless isn't really a home. I imagine it has approximately 500 mirrors and mostly serves as a shrine to Skip's favorite person, himself. Every article he writes at ESPN.com is really just about Skip's opinion and the opinion of others regarding Skip's opinion. There's no substance to any of Skip's writing, instead it is mostly "Here is my opinion and what others thought about my opinion and do you mind if we talk about me a little bit more?" So under the guise of figuring out why quarterbacks taken in the first round of the NFL Draft miss the mark in the NFL, Skip reviews the quarterbacks who he believed would succeed and discusses how sometimes he's right and sometimes he is wrong, but mostly it's just another shrine to Skip Bayless and his opinions. The use of the words "I," "I'm," and "I've" in this article is so prevalent only the most noble and bored of adventurers would take on the expedition of counting how many times Skip uses these words.
I'll admit it's getting a little eerie. Six times before NFL drafts,
I've taken a stand for quarterbacks doubted by many. For a while,
they've all made me look like a genius.
It's eerie that Skip really doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about. Weird, isn't it?
Then ...
Things have gone wrong.
They have gone wrong for a variety of reasons, but mostly because Skip was never right and NFL defensive coordinators found a way to game plan around stopping the strengths of these quarterbacks. It's much in the same way that Skip would build a bridge and claim "for a while" it was a work of genius until one day the entire bridge fell and killed dozens of people and hundreds of innocent water creatures. Skip will still insist "for a while" that bridge worked really well, while ignoring that isn't the mark of success at all.
In each case I wound up publicly pilloried as a madman, a football fool,
a quarterback hack who is daft when it comes to the draft. I still
believe I deserve credit for always being so initially right. You
decide.
It's all about Skip and the reaction of the public to the idiotic words he speaks because ESPN inexplicably gives him a forum to speak these words. And no, there is no credit being given for being initially right, because being initially right where a quarterback plays well for a season or two isn't correctly predicting that quarterback will succeed in the NFL. Success isn't determined over a short span of time. There's really no debate that can be had on this. Skip isn't right because Tim Tebow fooled defensive coordinators for almost an entire season, at least until they caught on to how to game plan around him.
But as we go case by case, you'll see a common cause of eventual failure -- one I can't account for pre-draft.
Skip tries to blame outside forces for the reason each quarterback didn't succeed in the NFL, in order to cover up for the fact "He isn't a good quarterback" could not have been accounted for prior to the draft. Skip can try and talk around it all he wants, and I will admit it's a guessing game whether some of these quarterbacks will succeed in the NFL, but the bottom line is that Skip went hard all-in on some of these quarterbacks and has ended up being wrong. He can talk around it, but that's the bottom line.
Most of these quarterbacks wound up with franchises whose executives and
coaches were dangerously split on them. I was all-in. The team that
drafted them was not.
Of course, it is the franchise's fault for not being all-in on these quarterbacks. Naturally. It's not that those executives and coaches who argued against the drafting of these quarterbacks were right, it's just they were only right because they argued against drafting these quarterbacks based on legitimate reasons that ended up being correct. But the reasons wouldn't have been correct if they had just been all-in on the quarterback. It all makes sense if you turn your brain off.
You'll also see a common flaw: Several of "my guys" failed to handle
their success and/or failure in unstable and uneasy situations.
And really, who could have seen that coming? Johnny Manziel partied a lot in college and was drafted by an organization that seems somewhat dysfunctional? Who could have seen that he wouldn't succeed?
You can argue I've been much more long-term accurate on which
quarterbacks are being dangerously overrated. I said on air JaMarcus
Russell and Sam Bradford were very bad ideas for No.1 overall picks, that Alex Smith would never live up to being taken No. 1 and that Matt Leinart, Brady Quinn, Jake Locker, Blaine Gabbert and Christian Ponder were not first-round picks.
You could argue that, but it wouldn't mean Skip wasn't wrong about these other six quarterbacks.
Those weren't popular stances.
Skip is a rebel and takes unpopular stances, based on the fact Stephen A. Smith disagrees with him. As is well known, Stephen A. Smith speaks for the majority opinion of the sports-loving world.
Neither were these ...
2006: I said on air the Houston Texans should take Vince Young No. 1 overall, in part because he grew up in Houston and had just led the University of Texas to the national championship with the greatest individual performance in title-game history.
Does Skip remember how popular Vince Young was coming out of Texas? It was not popular to say he would be successful in the NFL? I do disagree. Also, you can see from the start this isn't a column about WHY NFL quarterbacks taken early in the draft fail, as promised in the column title, but is about Skip Bayless and what he has said on the air. One other thing, to indicate the Texans should have taken Young simply because he grew up in Houston and led the University of Texas to a national championship is very bad reasoning for taking Young #1 overall.
Houston shockingly opted for defensive end Mario Williams, leaving Reggie Bush for the New Orleans Saints and Young for the Tennessee Titans general manager Floyd Reese and Titans owner Bud Adams,
It was shocking in that Mario Williams really worked out well for the Texans and Bush never really was the running back he promised himself to be in college. So it's almost like the Texans knew what they were doing.
One big problem: coach Jeff Fisher was against drafting Young.
Jeff Fisher is never wrong and you take it back right now.
Still, Young often made me look pretty good. He was offensive rookie of
the year. He made two Pro Bowls. He went 30-17 as Tennessee's starter.
And that's really what this is all about isn't it? Which quarterbacks made Skip look good and which quarterbacks didn't make Skip look good. Vince Young did have success for a while, but this doesn't mean Skip was right about him. I think Mario Williams was the right pick for the Texans.
But predictably, he often clashed with Fisher. It appeared Fisher helped
turn some in the local and national media against Young. His skin grew
thin.
IT WASN'T YOUNG'S FAULT HE FAILED IN THE NFL! IF HE HAD JUST GOTTEN ANOTHER SHOT WITH ANOTHER NFL TEAM HE WOULD HAVE SUCCEE---
Incredibly, after a season in Philadelphia and a camp with the Buffalo Bills and another with the Green Bay Packers, the league rejected Young at age 30.
This is shocking that Skip blames Young's failures on the environment in Tennessee and Young goes to another NFL team and continues to not be a good quarterbacks. It's almost like, and I almost dare not say it, Vince Young wasn't really a great quarterback and Skip was wrong about Young. But no, I'm sure the issues Jeff Fisher had with Young followed him to Philadelphia, Buffalo and to Green Bay. That makes more sense than Skip just outright being wrong.
What if Fisher had wanted to draft Young, had publicly invested his
pride in him, had supported him through the growing pains? Young was too
good for it to go so wrong.
What if Vince Young had success early in his career and this pretty much rejects the idea the biggest issue with Young's progress in the NFL is that he wasn't supported enough, because it doesn't make sense for him to play well at the beginning of his career and suddenly need more nurturing as he played more NFL games? I'm sure the Titans could have done something to help Young more, but three other teams took a look at Young and rejected him.
Another quarterback taken in that 2006 draft made the Pro Bowl in his second full season of starting. When Jay Cutler was a junior at Vanderbilt (my
alma mater) I began raving about him on air, predicting he'd be a
"franchise quarterback." Of course, that proclamation was met with
chuckles. A Vandy quarterback?
As always, it is about Skip Bayless. Sense a trend that permeates Skip's entire writing style?
"Here's a quarterback. Here's what I thought about that quarterback. Here's what others thought about my thoughts about this quarterback. Here's an excuse for why I was wrong, but this doesn't mean I was wrong and others were right."
Cutler was the "lucky" one of the six debatable quarterbacks I loved
before their drafts. (He's also the most prototypical pocket passer who
least relied on his legs.) Shanahan really wanted him. So did the Bears.
I certainly wasn't wrong about Cutler's ability. He's no bust. But he
is what he was at Vandy: a little more interested in pulling off the
occasional "wow" throw than winning.
Skip wasn't wrong about Cutler's ability? Is Cutler a franchise quarterback? No? Skip said Cutler was a franchise quarterback and he isn't, so that leads me to the conclusion Skip was wrong.
2009: I said on air that Mark Sanchez was being overrated. He went fifth to the Jets. I also raved about Josh Freeman and said the Tampa Bay Bucs stole him at No. 17.
Ah yes, the inconsistencies of Skip come to the forefront. He uses "games won" to make a case for why Vince Young could have been a great quarterback if it weren't for that meddling Jeff Fisher. All of a sudden he skips over that Mark Sanchez went to two AFC Championship Games as the starter for the Jets. Sure, I wouldn't give Sanchez credit for that, but in his eagerness to show how right he was about Sanchez, Skip changes the metric he uses for quarterback success. All of a sudden "games won" doesn't hold as much meaning to Skip when he's talking about a quarterback he thought wouldn't succeed in the NFL. Weird how that works.
I'd watched Kansas State's 6-6, 240-pound Freeman play big in his biggest games against Texas and Oklahoma.
No one else saw this. Only Skip saw Freeman play big in his biggest games against Texas and Oklahoma. (By the way, notice how Skip's love for the University of Texas seems to play a part in his evaluations?)
In his first full season as Tampa Bay's starter, he made me look
pretty great by throwing 25 touchdown passes to only six interceptions
and leading the Bucs to a 10-6 record. He was a Pro Bowl alternate.
Then
... it all fell apart in 2011. Rumors swirled. Maybe Freeman let
success go to his head (or stomach). Maybe Raheem Morris lost control of
the team as it went from 3-1 to 4-12. Morris was fired.
Freeman played pretty well in coach Greg Schiano's first season -- 27
touchdown passes, 17 interceptions -- but the team went 7-9.
Welp, it seems using team performance to evaluate a quarterback means something important again.
After three starts in 2013, the Bucs tried to trade Freeman, couldn't
and released him. After one horrendous Monday night start for the Minnesota Vikings, a 23-7 loss at the New York Giants, Freeman was out of football at age 25.
You still hear speculation Freeman will get another shot. But how could he go from 2010 to this? Again: so right, so wrong.
Probably the same reason a rookie baseball player can have a fantastic rookie year and then fail to improve on or reach those heights for the rest of his career. Opponents adjust to the rookie's tendencies, and when the player's true talent comes to light after opponents have adjusted, it turns out he isn't the star people thought he could end up being.
2010: I said on air I would take Tim Tebow late in the first round. "If you let him run the read option he ran at Florida," I said, "he'll win games in the NFL. He'll never make a Pro Bowl, but he can win games as a starting quarterback."
He'll "win games," which is exactly the type of thing you want your first round pick quarterback to do. Just don't suck and win a few games.
Under John Fox, the Broncos began the next season 1-4, and a new
Broncos regime (led by John Elway) that clearly didn't believe in Tebow
threw him into the fire, at Miami, out of desperation. I was asked on
air what I thought Tebow's record would be the rest of the season. I
said 7-4. Chuckles.
Tebow went 7-4, led Denver to the AFC West
title, led the NFL in QBR in the last five minutes of games and turned
the Broncos into the NFL's No. 1 rushing attack.
And let's be clear that the Broncos HAD to become the NFL's No. 1 rushing attack with Tebow as the quarterback, because he wasn't going to win games by throwing the football. Regardless of whether the Elway regime believed in Tebow or not, it doesn't mean they stunted his growth. Tebow failed in New York, where Rex Ryan took Mark Sanchez (the same Sanchez that Skip didn't like as an NFL QB) to two AFC Championship Games and he flamed out in New England. I would think if Belichick could have used Tebow in any productive way then he would have.
That offseason the Broncos replaced Tebow with ... Peyton Manning! No shame there. Tebow was traded to the Jets, with whom he was never even given a shot at starting.
That's funny. Tebow was in New York the season that Mark Sanchez was horrible and the Jets needed someone, anyone, to come in and play well at the quarterback position. Even going up against the quarterback that Skip thinks sucks, Mark Sanchez, Tebow couldn't win the starting job on a team desperate for a starting quarterback. So yeah, he was never given a shot. That's the lie that Skip will go with.
Tebow began to doubt himself and drifted from one throwing guru to another.
Maybe he started doubting himself because he's really not that good at throwing the football?
It's still possible the Philadelphia Eagles' Chip Kelly will sign Tebow, but again, I was so sensationally right ... and ultimately condemned as so dead wrong.
No, not at all. You were so sensationally wrong. Tim Tebow is now a co-worker of Skip's at ESPN. Tebow is not in the NFL anymore, so Skip was right for a brief period of time, but in the longer span of time he was absolutely wrong about Tebow. Again, simply because a bridge holds up for a brief span of time before it collapses does not mean it was a safe bridge to cross for that brief span of time.
I do really like how Skip talks about how he was right about Tebow winning games as an NFL quarterback, while also ignoring that Tebow couldn't beat out the quarterback Skip proudly beats his chest in this article for correctly stating wouldn't be successful (Mark Sanchez). Ignore that which makes Skip look dumb. That's A LOT of ignoring.
2012: On air long before the draft, I said Robert Griffin III would prove to be an even better pro than Andrew Luck. The Washington Redskins traded three first-rounders and a second to move up from No. 6 to No. 2 to take RG III. Way too much? Not to me.
It's hard for Skip to talk his way out of this one. He'll try to do so by ignoring the issue he himself brought up when arguing for Griffin. The issue Skip presented was that Griffin will be a better quarterback than Andrew Luck. He's not and he won't ever be. Skip was wrong.
Still, In RG III's rookie season, at age 22, he went superstar on the
NFL. Offensive rookie of the year, 20 touchdown passes to just five
interceptions, led the league in yards per pass attempt and per rush,
led his team to the NFC East crown, had a better QBR than Luck -- 71.4
to 65.2.
FOR ONE YEAR! ONE SOLITARY SEASON!
RG III sprained his knee late in the season, then tweaked it just before his team jumped out 14-0 on the Seattle Seahawks in
a home playoff game, then wrecked it late in that eventual loss. And he
has spent the past two seasons looking like a sad shell of a guy who no
longer trusts his legs or eyes or arm.
I like how Skip always blames outside forces for the failure of these quarterbacks. It's never, "Griffin got injured and his lack of mobility revealed him as a one-read quarterback who just couldn't grasp the passing concepts required to be an NFL quarterback." Skip reasons that Griffin no longer trusted his leg or arm after his injury. Of course, because Skip could never be wrong with his evaluation of Griffin's abilities.
He clashed with Shanahan and failed to click with new coach Jay Gruden.
Now ESPN's John Clayton is reporting new GM Scot McCloughan will take
Mariota if he's there at No. 5.
Now it feels like RG III's best bet is to start over with another team in another town.
Where when/if Griffin fails there, then Skip will conveniently ignore that Griffin was away from the Redskins' toxic environment and he still couldn't succeed.
2014: I said on air the Texans would forever regret not taking Texas native Johnny Manziel, the Heisman winner from Texas A&M, with the No. 1 overall pick.
And so far, the Texans have been correct twice when Skip has claimed they would regret not taking a quarterback that Skip suggests they draft.
I was told the Texans were considering Manziel until they asked him to
lay low and behave himself in the month leading up to the draft. Manziel
attended the Masters, had too much to drink and -- the Texans were told
-- made a spectacle of himself. They were out.
Again and again I said before the draft: If alcohol proves to be an ongoing issue for Manziel, I'm out.
Skip is blaming alcohol for Manziel's poor rookie season, while acknowledging that he thought alcohol could be an issue for Manziel prior to his being drafted. This sort of contradicts what Skip said earlier in this column:
But as we go case by case, you'll see a common cause of eventual failure -- one I can't account for pre-draft.
Oh, except Skip did account for Manziel's alcohol use pre-draft. I wouldn't expect Skip to stay consistent.
Loggains showed the text to owner Jimmy Haslam, who encouraged GM Ray
Farmer, coach Mike Pettine and coordinator Kyle Shanahan to trade up to
take Manziel. The Browns did, from 26 to 22.
But the GM, coach and coordinator were not sold on Manziel. I said on
air the next morning this was the wrong place for a quarterback whose
coaches and execs must be united in their belief in him and his
crazy-competitive playmaking genius. This, I said, will not work.
Me, me, me, me. Skip said this or that "on air." I wonder if Skip could write a column without once referencing his own opinion or in any way trying to bring the subject of the column back around to himself? Most definitely not. Remember, Kyle Shanahan was the offensive coordinator for Robert Griffin when he had his great rookie season. I'm not entirely sure what this means, so forget I brought it up.
The Browns lost last year's starter, Brian Hoyer, a Pettine favorite, to free agency but have signed Josh McCown and Thad Lewis and
recently (according to an ESPN report) tried to trade for Bradford.
Manziel no longer appears to be in the Browns' plans -- and shouldn't
have been in the first place.
Manziel needs a second chance with a GM and coach who completely buy in.
Maybe he'll prove to be nothing but a bust. The other five did not.
The other five quarterbacks that Skip caped up for weren't busts, but neither were quarterbacks that Skip proudly tells his readers he never liked and look at how right he was about that. Mark Sanchez wasn't a bust if Tim Tebow wasn't a bust, Sam Bradford hasn't been a bust, and Alex Smith is a lot of things, but he's also been a better quarterback than the six Skip has listed here as QB's he was temporarily right about.
I can't predict injury or addiction or sorry situations. But I must
admit, if I were a hotly debated draftee, I wouldn't want me pushing for
me.
It's not like Skip is a well-known personnel genius or anything like that. He's just a guy with a hot take who likes to take guesses and then make excuses if he is wrong. But yes, I wouldn't want you speaking about me at all if I were a draftee. I would prefer you just disappear or try to write a column that isn't simply about you.
Showing posts with label johnny manziel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label johnny manziel. Show all posts
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
6 comments MMQB Review: Troy Polamalu Was a Pure Safety, Except When He Wasn't Edition
Peter King asked a veteran last week in MMQB how many people he had killed, which was shockingly insensitive, and he revealed that he was always dubious going to rehab was Johnny Manziel's idea. Peter just forgot to mention that going to rehab was not Manziel's idea until he found out the Browns have moved on from Manziel as their quarterback. This week evaluates Troy Polamalu's Hall of Fame chances (Peter spends 25% of MMQB talking about Polamalu...which is a lot of space...but he played for the Steelers so it's space well-spent obviously), talks about the impact of a female official (she might better be able to fit in if sportswriters didn't make such a big deal of her inclusion as an NFL official), and apparently Gary Myers is writing a book about the Brady-Manning rivalry which sounds like a book I'm 100% guaranteed not to read. I get enough of the "IT'S BRADY VERSUS MANNING" during the NFL season. I don't need a whole book about it. The book has "untold" stories, which I wish had stayed that way for a little while longer. Apparently their rivalry changed the NFL. Who knew?
This is for all of you, in the wake of Pittsburgh’s Troy Polamalu retiring the other day after 12 seasons, wondering if he’ll be a first-ballot Hall of Famer, or whether it’ll be he or Ed Reed who gets into Canton first, or whether they might go in together:
This is for all of us? I don't really give a shit if Troy Polamalu makes the Hall of Fame or not. The NFL Hall of Fame vote for Polamalu is five seasons away and even then I probably don't care if he makes it or not. I don't see the need to have a discussion about his candidacy right now. I think it can wait, no?
Over the past 26 years, covering 147 enshrinees to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, one of the 147 has been a safety. I’m talking a player who played safety his entire career, not one (such as Ronnie Lott or Rod Woodson, both of whom played significant portions of their careers at cornerback) who split time between corner and safety. The one: Minnesota’s Paul Krause, the league’s all-time interceptions leader.
Peter I'm one of your readers, which means you need to treat me like I am stupid. Explain it in terms that someone who has the IQ of 85 can understand please. TALK DOWN TO ME!
Put another damning way: No safety who has played in an NFL game in the past 35 seasons is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Thank you for making that easy for me to understand. I was so confused previously when you used big words like "significant" and talked about players splitting time between two positions.
Three things really struck me about Polamalu’s retirement:
1. He was good at football.
2. He played for the Steelers his whole career.
3. His hair looked like a huge mane of pubic hair, which sort of disgusted me at times.
1. He’s a unique player in NFL history, a safety/linebacker/cover guy who blew up people, was as instinctive as they come, and played with the kind of dignity so few men have consistently shown over long careers.
Wait, what? Polamalu was a safety/linebacker/cover guy? So while Polamalu didn't play another position outside of safety, he was used in a variety of roles? Interesting since Peter just wrote the following as a reason why Polamalu was a pure safety:
Over the past 26 years, covering 147 enshrinees to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, one of the 147 has been a safety. I’m talking a player who played safety his entire career, not one (such as Ronnie Lott or Rod Woodson, both of whom played significant portions of their careers at cornerback) who split time between corner and safety.
I realize Polamalu played safety his entire career, but isn't it possible that some of the other Hall of Fame voters will see Polamalu in the same way Peter does and not consider him a pure safety due to the variety of roles he played for the Steelers over the years? Peter sees Polamalu as a hybrid defensive player and he is a Hall of Fame voter. Couldn't other Hall of Fame voters see it that way too?
2. I feel we might be in the midst of a golden age for safeties, with the recently retired Brian Dawkins, Ed Reed and Polamalu leading the way, and so many top-notch ones in their prime now. Earl Thomas, Eric Weddle, Kam Chancellor, Devin McCourty to start with … then the group of new guys who spend part-time doubling as inside linebackers, the way Arizona did last year with much success. Is that a trend that will continue?
Probably, as long as NFL teams want safeties that can play in the box and cover tight ends.
the versatility of so many safeties says to me that more and more coordinators are trying to find their own Polamalus.
While understanding that Polamalu was great, let's also not forget that he was allowed to freelance in the Steelers defense at times and as he got older he was out of position more and more often. I feel like this is important to know.
3. Regarding the Hall conundrum: Dawkins will be eligible for election in 2017, Reed in 2019, Polamalu in 2020. John Lynch has been a consistent finalist for election recently, but he hasn’t been close yet.
It sounds like John Lynch should have been drafted by a team from the Northeast. If he were a safety with the Jets then I wonder if that would do anything for his candidacy?
The voters for the Hall of Fame—I am one of 46—
What? Peter is a Hall of Fame voter? I had no idea because it has been a few weeks since he mentioned it.
stink at electing safeties. We do. Seven pure safeties have been elected in 53 years. It took the voters until Krause’s 14th year of eligibility to elect the man with the most interceptions in history. Ten NFL all-decade safeties have not been put in, including four of the five on the all-decade first or second teams from the 1980s. “We have completely disregarded the safety position,” said one of the veteran voters, Rick Gosselin of the Dallas Morning News. He is fed up with the voting at safety and has a couple ideas how to fix it, which I’ll get to in a few moments.
The Hall of Fame voters are going to rectify this issue by pushing through any and every reasonably qualified safety for the next 5-10 years. That will fix this issue and balance out the number of safeties in the Hall of Fame, because there HAS to be balance for each NFL position of course.
I bring this up because so many of you, and so many around the league, nodded when Polamalu called it quits Thursday and said or thought, “Hall of Famer. Easy call.”
Oh, we did? I didn't know about this.
You can say he and Reed, and maybe Dawkins, will make it, but now that you know the history, you have to feel a little shaky.
Oh, I do have to feel a little shaky? I wasn't sure how I would feel knowing that a pure safety hasn't elected into the Hall of Fame for the past 35 years. But now I do know that I feel a little shaky. Of course, I also know the Hall of Fame voters are going to try and fix this issue, so I should feel a little bit less shaky, right?
Gosselin’s idea about solving the Canton logjam is an interesting one: When the NFL has its 100th season in 2019, Gosselin suggests the Hall should have an amnesty year, in effect. Elect 10 players from the pool of Senior candidates, the old timers whose cases have been drydocked for years. And elect 10 players from the modern pool. The one-time 20-man class would clear up a growing logjam. It certainly would.
I really doubt something like this would happen. The Hall of Fame elect 20 players into a class at one time? I'm all about increasing the amount of players who can get into the Hall in one year, but 20 players in one class seems extreme to me.
I’m not sure it’s the best idea, but I am in favor of getting a slew of Mick Tingelhoffs considered rather than have them needlessly wait to hear their names called for years, or decades. Twenty sounds like too many to me, but the concept Gossellin suggests has merit.
How about the Pro Football Hall of Fame just decides they will elect more than a few players into the Hall on a yearly basis? That way there is no cap and players who the committee thinks are deserving get in during the regular elective process?
Flacco on Polamalu.
That postseason, Flacco and the Ravens went to Pittsburgh for the AFC Championship Game, and that point got hammered home—brutally, as it turned out for Flacco—in a piece of education Flacco will never forget. With less than five minutes left and the Steelers leading 16-14 in as physical and punishing a game as I’ve covered, Baltimore had a third-and-13. Flacco knew this could be their last chance. The call was for a two-man route—one on a deep route across the middle to, hopefully, clear out Polamalu and one corner; and one on a 15-yard corner stop, as the Ravens called it, with Derrick Mason running 15 yards and juking the corner on a timing route, knowing the ball could be coming to a small window when he turned and looked for it.
One problem: The Steelers were playing Polamalu at linebacker on the play.
He's a pure safety, remember. Will he make it into the Hall of Fame as a pure safety? That's Peter's question as he explains what a hybrid defensive player Polamalu was.
Flacco threw to Mason, and if Polamalu hadn’t been there, the YouTube video six years later makes it look like the ball might have been good enough for a conversion.
In a fantasy world, yes, that would have been a conversion. It seems Peter is trying so hard to tell fictional tales of Troy Polamalu's greatness that he ignores the Steelers cornerback that could easily have stepped in front of the pass and intercepted it if Polamalu had not. The Steelers' corner was right there, ready to pick the pass off. It doesn't mean Polamalu didn't make a great play, it's just an example of how sportswriters like to exaggerate a little bit in order to create legends about athletes. Polamalu's play simply can't stand on it's own, there has to be some sort of exaggeration. I think that Steelers defender was Ike Taylor and he was right there on the play to break it up or intercept the pass.
Flacco said he’ll have great memories of playing against Polamalu. “Now [that he retired], I’ve got to take a step back and appreciate the games we played against him and the Steelers. I am a man of few words, and so is Troy, but I do know I’ll tell my children and grandchildren I was lucky enough to play in these games, and lucky enough to play against Troy so many times. Troy’s an example of the right way to do things, on the field and off the field. Such a great competitor on every play, and he treats everyone the right way. That’s the right way to handle yourself. The image he had, the example he set … he just did it right.”
BUT JOE, DID POLAMALU PLAY THE GAME THE RIGHT WAY? YOU WEREN'T CLEAR ENOUGH ABOUT THIS ISSUE!
Polamalu would have made a great baseball player. It seems he played the game the right way, which as we all know is the sole goal of a baseball player, as described by baseball sportswriters.
“What were your conversations like?” I asked. “You get to know him very well?”
Peter always with the hard-hitting questions that readers probably don't care about.
"Did you eat lunch with him? What did he order for lunch? Tell me what you talked about."
It must be the cornball in me. I’ve seen so many of those Steelers-Ravens games, and seen the intensity and the on-field hatred, and it appeals to me that the triggerman of the Baltimore offense is so genuinely respectful of the best man on the other side of the field.
It's almost like they both played in the age of free agency where the guy Flacco hated for the past decade could end up being his teammate the very next year.
Dick LeBeau has played and coached in the NFL for the past 56 years. He entered the NFL in 1959 as a defensive back for Detroit, playing opposite Hall of Fame cornerback Night Train Lane, and transitioned to coaching when his playing career was done. He was Polamalu’s defensive coordinator with the Steelers for 11 of his 12 seasons.
This, then, is the money quote from LeBeau when I reached him Sunday:
“Troy is a once-in-a-lifetime player. I have never seen an athlete in the secondary, at any level, do as many things at the absolute highest level as Troy did. He could play linebacker; he played linebacker more than people know.
"WILL A PURE SAFETY LIKE TROY POLAMALU MAKE IT INTO THE HALL OF FAME?" PETER KING MUST KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION.
I do like how Peter insists Polamalu was a pure safety, but this is the third time it is mentioned that Polamalu essentially played linebacker at certain points too. Dick LeBeau has referred to Polamalu as playing linebacker a lot, yet Peter continues with the "pure safety" line of thought while putting Polamalu in the same conversation as Dawkins, Lynch and Ed Reed.
He was an excellent run player. All the raw material you’d want in a defensive back, he had the best.”
“Are you including all the DBs you’ve seen in your life, going back to your playing days?” I asked.
No Peter, he's a crazy person like you who says a player is the "best" of his lifetime but only means the past 20-25 years. If you recall, a few years ago Peter said Derek Jeter was the best baseball player of his lifetime, then clarified he only meant the last 20-25 years after MMQB readers wrote in astounded at this idiotic comment.
“I do mean to say that,’’ LeBeau said. “Yes I do. I mean to say he has every skill a defensive back would need to play at the highest level, all over the defensive backfield.”
Polamalu is the best defensive back of Peter's generation. What Peter means by this is Polamalu is the best safety over the last five years.
It’s not like Sarah Thomas, hired by the NFL last week as a line judge for one of the league’s 17 officiating crews, is immune to some boos and some coach-screaming after a call she made that people didn’t like. But even the biggest crowd for a college game—she said last week she thinks it was probably 55,000 or so for Utah State-Brigham Young—won’t compare to the intensity and the spotlight Thomas will face this season when she becomes the first full-time female official in the 96-year history of the NFL.
This is the second week that Peter has brought up Sarah Thomas as a new official and discussed how she will fit in with the rest of NFL officiating crews. Maybe she'll fit in better if Peter stops talking about and wondering how she will fit in? Has Peter ever wondered how other NFL officials would be able to stand scorn from large crowds at NFL games? This isn't exclusive to Sarah Thomas, but is an issue any official who is making the jump to the NFL would have to face. So I'm not sure what her sex has to do with having to deal with large crowds who will boo and coaches that will scream at her.
I can see it now: a dedicated camera on Thomas for her first game of the regular season, by whichever network has the game. It’s history. A good history—assuming Thomas can handle it.
Which is a huge assumption given that she is a female, will have her period at some point during the season and probably will be over-emotional like all women are during their time of the month. Great point, Peter. Can Sarah Thomas and her girl feelings handle being yelled at?
But this is not North Texas at Middle Tennessee she’ll be reffing. I want to see Thomas’ reaction the first time Bill Belichick or Bruce Arians or John Fox screams, “What the %&*# was THAT call?” I used Belichick’s name the other day in just such a scenario.
Again, why hasn't this been an issue for any of the other NFL officials who have gotten promoted from officiating college football games to officiating NFL games? Not that Peter is a raging sexist, but I've never read anything he has written before about a concern that a male official may not be able to handle being yelled at by NFL head coaches. It sounds kind of sexist is my point.
“I really have not thought of it,” Thomas said.
Oh okay, so Peter really asked Sarah Thomas, "How are you going to handle being yelled at by grown men in a football setting?"
If this is a question based on Thomas officiating at a lower level in college, that's fine, but I don't recall Peter ever bringing this question up to any male officials who have made a similar leap to the NFL. So if the question is being asked because she's a woman, well, that's a little bit sexist. Of course Peter can't be sexist because he has two daughters, much in the same way someone can't be racist because he/she has two black friends.
That’s by far the best answer she could have given. Think about it: If she says, Well, I have tremendous respect for Coach Belichick, and it would be tough, but I have worked long and hard to be sure I’m ready for this chance, then she’s messed up. Why? Because Bill Belichick, to her, now has to be the same as the coach at North Texas or Middle Tennessee. He’s a coach. Coaches scream sometimes. You explain, and if they don’t shut up, you turn away and the game goes on.
Right, which is why the question could have probably survived as being not asked if Peter wouldn't ask the same question to another official.
For now, Thomas must get used to being a symbol as well as an official. Like it or not, she’s going to be a beacon for women and girls, and not just in women and girls interested in football or interested in following her to the NFL. School kids are going to write reports on her. In fact, they already are. And she is into it.
But if these school kids that are girls don't get a good grade on these reports they write about Sarah Thomas, how will it affect their self esteem? Will a middle school kid that is a female be able to handle the rejection of not receiving a good grade on a report? It's different being a female writing a report in elementary school as compared to being a female writing a report in middle school.
No word yet which referee and crew Thomas will be paired with—my money is on the terminally patient Peter Morelli’s crew—but in whatever crew, the ref won’t be the focus, at least in 2015. Sarah Thomas will be.
I hope the NFL is able to pair her with a crew that can support her emotionally when she's on the rag or a head coach has hurt her feelings and she spends most of halftime in the locker room crying. What if she's having a bad hair day or can't get her makeup just right? This is a disaster waiting to happen for sure.
Sarah Thomas will be the focus as long as further attention is drawn to the fact she is officiating NFL games AND she's a woman person.
Two teams will work out Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota this week in Eugene. St. Louis and San Diego travel to Oregon (on different days) to put Mariota to work on the field and in the classroom. I absolutely do not expect the Rams to trade up for Mariota, but in the unlikely event that Mariota falls to No. 10, I believe the Rams seriously would consider drafting him. The Chargers’ workout might be a story. It might not be.
Thanks for the reporting. This may or may not mean something. Only time will tell. Once Peter finds out whether it means something or not, he will be sure to tell his readers what it means and how he knew previously that's probably what it meant.
Too early for speculative stuff like this to be anything to take to Vegas.
Here is some speculation that Peter wants you to take seriously if it turns out to be correct, but ignore entirely if it turns out not to be correct because it's just speculation you know.
Jon Gruden favors Mariota over Winston
I'm not sure how Gruden became a QB expert. Maybe he's an expert as long as his track record in the NFL of being a QB expert is ignored. I think this means I'll favor Winston over Mariota.
Melvin Gordon will not get past Baltimore at No. 26
But again, this is just speculation. So just forget Peter wrote this, unless it happens, in which case remember that Peter said Gordon wouldn't get past Baltimore at No. 26.
Randy Gregory’s positive pot test and weighing 235 at the combine scared off many teams near the top of the draft off—but some of those teams, after due diligence, are feeling more comfortable with Gregory early in the round. I get the feeling Gregory’s going to be this draft’s boom or bust guy
Until it comes time for Peter to talk about Jameis Winston, who will then become the draft's biggest boom or bust guy.
Not that anything’s going to hurt where the Florida State quarterback will get drafted—he’s still the overwhelming favorite to go number one—but I would file away this line from attorney David Cornwell: “He’s ready to be an NFL player on the field. But he’s not ready to be an NFL player off the field.”...But here’s the thing: If you’re drafting a quarterback number one overall, you want that player to make it or not based on his ability as a player, not on some off-field problems. Twelve quarterbacks have been picked first overall in the past 20 years: Andrew Luck, Cam Newton, Sam Bradford, Matthew Stafford, JaMarcus Russell, Alex Smith, Eli Manning, Carson Palmer, David Carr, Michael Vick, Tim Couch, Peyton Manning. Russell was the only real star-crossed guy entering the draft; Al Davis was in love with his arm strength and overlooked his lack of maturity. I don’t think any of the 11 others had much that concerned teams off the field before being drafted—though there was some question about Newton playing at three schools in college.
Part of the reason Newton transferred from the University of Florida is because he had Tim Tebow in front him on the depth chart, then he went to a community college and was able to transfer to Auburn after that. I remember one big question off the field about Newton were the accusations that he stole a computer during his time at Florida and there were other academic issues brought up. I don't recall the maturity issues surrounding JaMarcus Russell, but I also may not be remembering very well.
What is going on with Ted Wells? This is day 80 of his investigation into the Patriots and the deflated-footballs allegations. The AFC title game was 12 weeks ago. I respect the work of Wells and his staff, but this is getting ridiculous. The marathon bombing trial took five weeks. The Patriots’ investigation is in its 12th.
Maybe Ted Wells stopped investigating the deflated ball allegations for a while to help O.J. look for the real killers. Or maybe Roger Goodell is more interested in pretending like he cares long enough for the public to not care as much anymore (though I never really cared that much in the first place). I'd say the second line of thought may be more accurate.
“It’s about time.”
—Baltimore coach John Harbaugh, on the NFL, preparing for its 96th season, finally hiring its first full-time female official, line judge Sarah Thomas.
Yeah, but when Harbaugh starts yelling at Thomas is she going to go into a little ball and start crying about how he was so mean to her? If Thomas is married, will her husband come on the field and get angry at Harbaugh for yelling at her? I just hope John Harbaugh understands that Sarah Thomas will tuck her hair under her hat so that nobody gets distracted by the fact she's a girl and is officiating a man's sport. She'll look like a guy without a ponytail hanging out, but treat her with kid gloves because she is in fact a woman.
“Money wasn’t the first reason to make me want to come here. Even when I knew [about the contract offer], I was like, ‘I’m not going there. I don’t give a freak what they give me, I’m not going.’ And then I realized it was the best for me. This is a team that wants me. Coach [Rex] Ryan is a winner and he wants to run the ball.”
—Buffalo running back LeSean McCoy, recalling his stunning March trade from Philadelphia to the Bills to Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer.
This is something Bills fans are probably incredibly eager to read about. LeSean McCoy in no way wanted to be a Buffalo Bill, but then he realized he was on the team anyway and they seemed to want him, so why not? Without other options, outside of holding out, why not be a Buffalo Bill?
“I don’t project trades. But in talking to people, my sense is Mariota is likely to be taken [number two overall.]”
—ESPN draft analyst Mel Kiper, the well-coiffed one, on what he’s hearing about where Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota will be chosen on April 30.
So Kiper is saying the Titans wouldn't draft Mariota and a team would trade up for him? Maybe the Titans don't like Mariota, but it seems to me like the Titans could draft Mariota #2 and then Mel wouldn't have to project any trades.
Factoid of the Week That May Interest Only Me
In the matter of great safeties not playing anymore:
Washington strong safety Sean Taylor played his last football game at 24.
This is an interesting factoid from Peter simply because his history of discussing Sean Taylor is another example of Peter saying stupid shit and then trying to defend it. Peter essentially called Taylor "a disappointment" for the Redskins because he didn't live up to being a franchise safety. Taylor mostly didn't live up to this billing because he was murdered. It had something to do with it. So now Peter is hoping his readers forget that and calls Taylor a "great safety." But just a few short years ago he wrote:
Berry looks like a top-10 pick, but the team that takes him is going to be picking against history. Of the five top-10 safeties this decade, none has had franchise-player impact: Roy Williams (Dallas, eighth overall, 2002), Sean Taylor (Washington, fifth overall, 2004), Michael Huff (Oakland, seventh, 2006), Donte Whitner (Buffalo, eighth, 2006), LaRon Landry (Washington, sixth, 2007).
But I don't know if Taylor, who was out with a knee injury at the time of his death, would have been the kind of franchise safety Ed Reed is, because to do so, you've got to stand the test of time.
The point of the item is that even the great safeties, the highly regarded ones, are such physical forces on the field that they often don't have long and impactful careers.
Except that wasn't Peter's point. He was hiding behind the whole "great safeties get injured" reasoning for why Taylor didn't make an impact on the Redskins franchise. Nevermind being killed isn't exactly an example of Taylor getting injured. Peter calls Taylor a "great safety" now, but he was a little dubious about Taylor's impact a few years ago.
Then Peter includes a Tweet from Steve Politi (a Tweet that would not embed on this blog for some reason) that says:
This event is my favorite of the year, but so far, it’s been the Masterzzzz.
I'm sorry, CBS can't hear your complaining over the 26% increase in ratings. Boring, but lucrative.
Ten Things I Think I Think
1. I think, with the Masters fresh on your minds, there’s this anecdote from Gary Myers of the New York Daily News, which he unearthed researching his book on the Tom Brady-Peyton Manning rivalry (“Brady Vs. Manning: The Untold Story of the Rivalry That Transformed the NFL,” by Crown Archetype, due out Sept. 22):
There is definitely a market for a book such as this, but I am not that market. Can't we wait until Brady and Manning have been retired for a few years before writing "untold" stories about their rivalry? Maybe a few years from now, perhaps 3-4 years after they have retired, this book should be written so Manning and Brady can be appreciated. For now though, why must there be such immediacy to write a book on how the Brady-Manning rivalry transformed the NFL (I'm not going to argue this point because I haven't read the book, but I'm skeptical of statements like this) when they are both still active players? It sounds like Gary Myers wants to sell some books and appeal to Brady-Manning fans while the iron is still hot and fans are eager to purchase this book while both players are still active. This is as opposed to writing the book 3-4 years after Brady and Manning retire when more perspective could be given on their impact on the NFL. If Myers waited a few years then a better narrative could be written once both players are retired. But I guess writing a better book with perspective isn't necessarily the goal is it?
Tom Brady and Tom Brady Sr. and Rory McIlroy and McIlroy’s father have a mutual friend. Through the mutual friend, they set up to play golf together at Augusta National Golf Club the second week in March. The Bradys and McIlroys, the mutual friend and his father and another friend and his father played their own father-son tournament on the Masters course. The night before they played, the Brady/McIlroy group walked into the restaurant at Augusta National to have dinner. Seated at another table were Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Cooper Manning, Jacob Tamme and John Lynch. Brady and Manning, who have played many rounds of golf together, chatted for a few minutes before Brady rejoined his group for dinner. Brady did not know Manning was going to be there. Brady and Manning were on the course the next day, but didn’t play together. Brady’s group played three rounds in two days. Tom went off the first tee with Rory. Not a bad scene.
This story is interesting in that it shows wealthy athletes tend to hang out with each other and in the same places. Also, the Masters is a fun course to play. Otherwise, I'm sure there are better anecdotes in this book about Brady and Manning. There better be.
4. I think there is no more trusted player inside the Cleveland Browns than Joe Thomas, and no one more team-oriented in all ways. And when he says (as he did to ESPN Cleveland last week) that Johnny Manziel is “going to have to prove to the team football is important,” it’s a damning indictment of the impression Manziel left on the locker room last season.
(checks watch) Yep, I guess it's the time where Peter King will start to bash Johnny Manziel in as many MMQB's as possible. Why not? It's not like Peter sat down with Manziel and got a chance to judge him for himself prior to the draft, except, you know, he did. At the time, I thought it was a very good performance by Manziel. People don't change their behavior simply because they now have the chance to get paid handsomely for doing what they once did for free. But anyway, it's time to bash Manziel because he's essentially been the same person he was in college and the media wanted to believe he had made this huge change. Bash Manziel for not changing when writers like Peter King wanted him to have changed so badly.
Peter KNEW that going to rehab was not Johnny Manziel's idea. Sure, he never mentioned that prior to last week once rumors of the Browns being unhappy with Manziel started to leak out, but Peter was totally thinking it prior to this.
7. I think I love when guys say dumb things on social media and immediately claim their account was hacked. That’s what Darrelle Revis said Sunday after he or the hacker got into some ugly back-and-forths with fans unhappy with his decision to leave the Patriots for the Jets. Must be a lot of people out there who know Revis’ social media passwords. Or not.
Well Peter, not everyone can write something stupid on Twitter and then get away with very little criticism from anyone outside of the fans. When Darrelle Revis says something dumb on Twitter, it gets mentioned by the media (like how Peter just did), but when Peter King says something dumb on Twitter or in MMQB then there is only the fans to mention it and discuss it because Peter's friends in the media certainly will just blow it off as Peter not meaning what he wrote.
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
a. Thanks for the invitation, Sports Business Journal, to be a part of Thursday’s future-of-the-media panel in Los Angeles, with ESPN heavyweight John Walsh, Jason Whitlock of the new site The Undefeated, Pam Oliver of FOX Sports, and SBJ’s John Ourand.
Isn't it interesting how Grantland was announced and got off the ground within a month and a half, but Jason Whitlock was hired to run his own Grantland-type site almost a year and a half ago, yet the site hasn't debuted yet?
I like the idea of a site dedicated to shine the light on racial issues, inside and outside of sports, because of how much societal issues affect the people we write about and you watch. That showed up big last fall with the Rams players’ personal statements of empathy for those affected by the strife in Ferguson.
And Peter King knows how those citizens of Ferguson felt, because one time he was pulled over by the police and they thought he was Peter King the Republican Congressman from New York. It was pretty hostile there for a few minutes, but Peter and the cop had a good laugh about it later. Peter got off with a warning for a broken tail light and gained a new reader of MMQB. But for a few minutes, Peter felt he was being discriminated against because he was a Congressman.
d. Maybe I should get into “Game of Thrones.”
Oh no, you should not. You will be very, very confused.
i. It’s hard to believe a modern athlete, such as Mets closer Jennry Mejia, would use a steroid (Stanazolol, the same one Ben Johnson used to prep for the Seoul Olympics nearly two decades ago) to get better, knowing baseball tests for it. It’s an intelligence test, to some degree, because Mejia knows he’ll be tested. And he obviously flunked the test.
I'm sure Mejia also thought he had used a masking agent or he wouldn't be tested again for some time. Maybe he is just stupid, but I can't imagine how a human would know something is wrong, know he/she could get caught and then do that stupid thing anyway. It's almost like it's human nature.
m. Coffeenerdness: Java Question of the Week, from the Peet’s barista in the JFK Airport Terminal 4 coffee shop, after I’d ordered a medium latte with an extra shot of espresso, paid, and was waiting near the espresso machine for my drink to come out. “You know this already comes with two shots, so you’re sure you want a third?” Yes. Quite sure.
Peter probably really said something in response like, "I know how many shots I want. Just give me the third shot and do your job" and then got back to texting Mitch Albom about how service industry workers are morons and continued holding up the rest of the line by not looking up when the barista was trying to hand him the drink.
o. Apropos of nothing: I was waiting for a plane at LAX the other night, and heard “That Smell” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. One of the worst songs ever created. Why did it become popular?
Whaaaaaaaaat? I wouldn't expect a fan of U2 to really appreciate "That Smell." It's not poppy and haughty-sounding enough. Sounds about drug and alcohol addiction don't always have a soaring chorus where fans can raise their arms in the air as a douchebag lead singer smiles knowing each of these morons paid $110 to watch his band perform. "That Smell" is about drug and alcohol addiction, it's not supposed to be a pretty song.
The Adieu Haiku
Troy Polamalu.
His name’s not good for haiku.
I doubt he cares, though.
It gets worse every week. This is one of the worst haikus ever created. Please stop writing these haikus. Do it for the sake of our children's children.
This is for all of you, in the wake of Pittsburgh’s Troy Polamalu retiring the other day after 12 seasons, wondering if he’ll be a first-ballot Hall of Famer, or whether it’ll be he or Ed Reed who gets into Canton first, or whether they might go in together:
This is for all of us? I don't really give a shit if Troy Polamalu makes the Hall of Fame or not. The NFL Hall of Fame vote for Polamalu is five seasons away and even then I probably don't care if he makes it or not. I don't see the need to have a discussion about his candidacy right now. I think it can wait, no?
Over the past 26 years, covering 147 enshrinees to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, one of the 147 has been a safety. I’m talking a player who played safety his entire career, not one (such as Ronnie Lott or Rod Woodson, both of whom played significant portions of their careers at cornerback) who split time between corner and safety. The one: Minnesota’s Paul Krause, the league’s all-time interceptions leader.
Peter I'm one of your readers, which means you need to treat me like I am stupid. Explain it in terms that someone who has the IQ of 85 can understand please. TALK DOWN TO ME!
Put another damning way: No safety who has played in an NFL game in the past 35 seasons is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
Thank you for making that easy for me to understand. I was so confused previously when you used big words like "significant" and talked about players splitting time between two positions.
Three things really struck me about Polamalu’s retirement:
1. He was good at football.
2. He played for the Steelers his whole career.
3. His hair looked like a huge mane of pubic hair, which sort of disgusted me at times.
1. He’s a unique player in NFL history, a safety/linebacker/cover guy who blew up people, was as instinctive as they come, and played with the kind of dignity so few men have consistently shown over long careers.
Wait, what? Polamalu was a safety/linebacker/cover guy? So while Polamalu didn't play another position outside of safety, he was used in a variety of roles? Interesting since Peter just wrote the following as a reason why Polamalu was a pure safety:
Over the past 26 years, covering 147 enshrinees to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, one of the 147 has been a safety. I’m talking a player who played safety his entire career, not one (such as Ronnie Lott or Rod Woodson, both of whom played significant portions of their careers at cornerback) who split time between corner and safety.
I realize Polamalu played safety his entire career, but isn't it possible that some of the other Hall of Fame voters will see Polamalu in the same way Peter does and not consider him a pure safety due to the variety of roles he played for the Steelers over the years? Peter sees Polamalu as a hybrid defensive player and he is a Hall of Fame voter. Couldn't other Hall of Fame voters see it that way too?
2. I feel we might be in the midst of a golden age for safeties, with the recently retired Brian Dawkins, Ed Reed and Polamalu leading the way, and so many top-notch ones in their prime now. Earl Thomas, Eric Weddle, Kam Chancellor, Devin McCourty to start with … then the group of new guys who spend part-time doubling as inside linebackers, the way Arizona did last year with much success. Is that a trend that will continue?
Probably, as long as NFL teams want safeties that can play in the box and cover tight ends.
the versatility of so many safeties says to me that more and more coordinators are trying to find their own Polamalus.
While understanding that Polamalu was great, let's also not forget that he was allowed to freelance in the Steelers defense at times and as he got older he was out of position more and more often. I feel like this is important to know.
3. Regarding the Hall conundrum: Dawkins will be eligible for election in 2017, Reed in 2019, Polamalu in 2020. John Lynch has been a consistent finalist for election recently, but he hasn’t been close yet.
It sounds like John Lynch should have been drafted by a team from the Northeast. If he were a safety with the Jets then I wonder if that would do anything for his candidacy?
The voters for the Hall of Fame—I am one of 46—
What? Peter is a Hall of Fame voter? I had no idea because it has been a few weeks since he mentioned it.
stink at electing safeties. We do. Seven pure safeties have been elected in 53 years. It took the voters until Krause’s 14th year of eligibility to elect the man with the most interceptions in history. Ten NFL all-decade safeties have not been put in, including four of the five on the all-decade first or second teams from the 1980s. “We have completely disregarded the safety position,” said one of the veteran voters, Rick Gosselin of the Dallas Morning News. He is fed up with the voting at safety and has a couple ideas how to fix it, which I’ll get to in a few moments.
The Hall of Fame voters are going to rectify this issue by pushing through any and every reasonably qualified safety for the next 5-10 years. That will fix this issue and balance out the number of safeties in the Hall of Fame, because there HAS to be balance for each NFL position of course.
I bring this up because so many of you, and so many around the league, nodded when Polamalu called it quits Thursday and said or thought, “Hall of Famer. Easy call.”
Oh, we did? I didn't know about this.
You can say he and Reed, and maybe Dawkins, will make it, but now that you know the history, you have to feel a little shaky.
Oh, I do have to feel a little shaky? I wasn't sure how I would feel knowing that a pure safety hasn't elected into the Hall of Fame for the past 35 years. But now I do know that I feel a little shaky. Of course, I also know the Hall of Fame voters are going to try and fix this issue, so I should feel a little bit less shaky, right?
Gosselin’s idea about solving the Canton logjam is an interesting one: When the NFL has its 100th season in 2019, Gosselin suggests the Hall should have an amnesty year, in effect. Elect 10 players from the pool of Senior candidates, the old timers whose cases have been drydocked for years. And elect 10 players from the modern pool. The one-time 20-man class would clear up a growing logjam. It certainly would.
I really doubt something like this would happen. The Hall of Fame elect 20 players into a class at one time? I'm all about increasing the amount of players who can get into the Hall in one year, but 20 players in one class seems extreme to me.
I’m not sure it’s the best idea, but I am in favor of getting a slew of Mick Tingelhoffs considered rather than have them needlessly wait to hear their names called for years, or decades. Twenty sounds like too many to me, but the concept Gossellin suggests has merit.
How about the Pro Football Hall of Fame just decides they will elect more than a few players into the Hall on a yearly basis? That way there is no cap and players who the committee thinks are deserving get in during the regular elective process?
Flacco on Polamalu.
That postseason, Flacco and the Ravens went to Pittsburgh for the AFC Championship Game, and that point got hammered home—brutally, as it turned out for Flacco—in a piece of education Flacco will never forget. With less than five minutes left and the Steelers leading 16-14 in as physical and punishing a game as I’ve covered, Baltimore had a third-and-13. Flacco knew this could be their last chance. The call was for a two-man route—one on a deep route across the middle to, hopefully, clear out Polamalu and one corner; and one on a 15-yard corner stop, as the Ravens called it, with Derrick Mason running 15 yards and juking the corner on a timing route, knowing the ball could be coming to a small window when he turned and looked for it.
One problem: The Steelers were playing Polamalu at linebacker on the play.
He's a pure safety, remember. Will he make it into the Hall of Fame as a pure safety? That's Peter's question as he explains what a hybrid defensive player Polamalu was.
Flacco threw to Mason, and if Polamalu hadn’t been there, the YouTube video six years later makes it look like the ball might have been good enough for a conversion.
In a fantasy world, yes, that would have been a conversion. It seems Peter is trying so hard to tell fictional tales of Troy Polamalu's greatness that he ignores the Steelers cornerback that could easily have stepped in front of the pass and intercepted it if Polamalu had not. The Steelers' corner was right there, ready to pick the pass off. It doesn't mean Polamalu didn't make a great play, it's just an example of how sportswriters like to exaggerate a little bit in order to create legends about athletes. Polamalu's play simply can't stand on it's own, there has to be some sort of exaggeration. I think that Steelers defender was Ike Taylor and he was right there on the play to break it up or intercept the pass.
Flacco said he’ll have great memories of playing against Polamalu. “Now [that he retired], I’ve got to take a step back and appreciate the games we played against him and the Steelers. I am a man of few words, and so is Troy, but I do know I’ll tell my children and grandchildren I was lucky enough to play in these games, and lucky enough to play against Troy so many times. Troy’s an example of the right way to do things, on the field and off the field. Such a great competitor on every play, and he treats everyone the right way. That’s the right way to handle yourself. The image he had, the example he set … he just did it right.”
BUT JOE, DID POLAMALU PLAY THE GAME THE RIGHT WAY? YOU WEREN'T CLEAR ENOUGH ABOUT THIS ISSUE!
Polamalu would have made a great baseball player. It seems he played the game the right way, which as we all know is the sole goal of a baseball player, as described by baseball sportswriters.
“What were your conversations like?” I asked. “You get to know him very well?”
Peter always with the hard-hitting questions that readers probably don't care about.
"Did you eat lunch with him? What did he order for lunch? Tell me what you talked about."
It must be the cornball in me. I’ve seen so many of those Steelers-Ravens games, and seen the intensity and the on-field hatred, and it appeals to me that the triggerman of the Baltimore offense is so genuinely respectful of the best man on the other side of the field.
It's almost like they both played in the age of free agency where the guy Flacco hated for the past decade could end up being his teammate the very next year.
Dick LeBeau has played and coached in the NFL for the past 56 years. He entered the NFL in 1959 as a defensive back for Detroit, playing opposite Hall of Fame cornerback Night Train Lane, and transitioned to coaching when his playing career was done. He was Polamalu’s defensive coordinator with the Steelers for 11 of his 12 seasons.
This, then, is the money quote from LeBeau when I reached him Sunday:
“Troy is a once-in-a-lifetime player. I have never seen an athlete in the secondary, at any level, do as many things at the absolute highest level as Troy did. He could play linebacker; he played linebacker more than people know.
"WILL A PURE SAFETY LIKE TROY POLAMALU MAKE IT INTO THE HALL OF FAME?" PETER KING MUST KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION.
I do like how Peter insists Polamalu was a pure safety, but this is the third time it is mentioned that Polamalu essentially played linebacker at certain points too. Dick LeBeau has referred to Polamalu as playing linebacker a lot, yet Peter continues with the "pure safety" line of thought while putting Polamalu in the same conversation as Dawkins, Lynch and Ed Reed.
He was an excellent run player. All the raw material you’d want in a defensive back, he had the best.”
“Are you including all the DBs you’ve seen in your life, going back to your playing days?” I asked.
No Peter, he's a crazy person like you who says a player is the "best" of his lifetime but only means the past 20-25 years. If you recall, a few years ago Peter said Derek Jeter was the best baseball player of his lifetime, then clarified he only meant the last 20-25 years after MMQB readers wrote in astounded at this idiotic comment.
“I do mean to say that,’’ LeBeau said. “Yes I do. I mean to say he has every skill a defensive back would need to play at the highest level, all over the defensive backfield.”
Polamalu is the best defensive back of Peter's generation. What Peter means by this is Polamalu is the best safety over the last five years.
It’s not like Sarah Thomas, hired by the NFL last week as a line judge for one of the league’s 17 officiating crews, is immune to some boos and some coach-screaming after a call she made that people didn’t like. But even the biggest crowd for a college game—she said last week she thinks it was probably 55,000 or so for Utah State-Brigham Young—won’t compare to the intensity and the spotlight Thomas will face this season when she becomes the first full-time female official in the 96-year history of the NFL.
This is the second week that Peter has brought up Sarah Thomas as a new official and discussed how she will fit in with the rest of NFL officiating crews. Maybe she'll fit in better if Peter stops talking about and wondering how she will fit in? Has Peter ever wondered how other NFL officials would be able to stand scorn from large crowds at NFL games? This isn't exclusive to Sarah Thomas, but is an issue any official who is making the jump to the NFL would have to face. So I'm not sure what her sex has to do with having to deal with large crowds who will boo and coaches that will scream at her.
I can see it now: a dedicated camera on Thomas for her first game of the regular season, by whichever network has the game. It’s history. A good history—assuming Thomas can handle it.
Which is a huge assumption given that she is a female, will have her period at some point during the season and probably will be over-emotional like all women are during their time of the month. Great point, Peter. Can Sarah Thomas and her girl feelings handle being yelled at?
But this is not North Texas at Middle Tennessee she’ll be reffing. I want to see Thomas’ reaction the first time Bill Belichick or Bruce Arians or John Fox screams, “What the %&*# was THAT call?” I used Belichick’s name the other day in just such a scenario.
Again, why hasn't this been an issue for any of the other NFL officials who have gotten promoted from officiating college football games to officiating NFL games? Not that Peter is a raging sexist, but I've never read anything he has written before about a concern that a male official may not be able to handle being yelled at by NFL head coaches. It sounds kind of sexist is my point.
“I really have not thought of it,” Thomas said.
Oh okay, so Peter really asked Sarah Thomas, "How are you going to handle being yelled at by grown men in a football setting?"
If this is a question based on Thomas officiating at a lower level in college, that's fine, but I don't recall Peter ever bringing this question up to any male officials who have made a similar leap to the NFL. So if the question is being asked because she's a woman, well, that's a little bit sexist. Of course Peter can't be sexist because he has two daughters, much in the same way someone can't be racist because he/she has two black friends.
That’s by far the best answer she could have given. Think about it: If she says, Well, I have tremendous respect for Coach Belichick, and it would be tough, but I have worked long and hard to be sure I’m ready for this chance, then she’s messed up. Why? Because Bill Belichick, to her, now has to be the same as the coach at North Texas or Middle Tennessee. He’s a coach. Coaches scream sometimes. You explain, and if they don’t shut up, you turn away and the game goes on.
Right, which is why the question could have probably survived as being not asked if Peter wouldn't ask the same question to another official.
For now, Thomas must get used to being a symbol as well as an official. Like it or not, she’s going to be a beacon for women and girls, and not just in women and girls interested in football or interested in following her to the NFL. School kids are going to write reports on her. In fact, they already are. And she is into it.
But if these school kids that are girls don't get a good grade on these reports they write about Sarah Thomas, how will it affect their self esteem? Will a middle school kid that is a female be able to handle the rejection of not receiving a good grade on a report? It's different being a female writing a report in elementary school as compared to being a female writing a report in middle school.
No word yet which referee and crew Thomas will be paired with—my money is on the terminally patient Peter Morelli’s crew—but in whatever crew, the ref won’t be the focus, at least in 2015. Sarah Thomas will be.
I hope the NFL is able to pair her with a crew that can support her emotionally when she's on the rag or a head coach has hurt her feelings and she spends most of halftime in the locker room crying. What if she's having a bad hair day or can't get her makeup just right? This is a disaster waiting to happen for sure.
Sarah Thomas will be the focus as long as further attention is drawn to the fact she is officiating NFL games AND she's a woman person.
Two teams will work out Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota this week in Eugene. St. Louis and San Diego travel to Oregon (on different days) to put Mariota to work on the field and in the classroom. I absolutely do not expect the Rams to trade up for Mariota, but in the unlikely event that Mariota falls to No. 10, I believe the Rams seriously would consider drafting him. The Chargers’ workout might be a story. It might not be.
Thanks for the reporting. This may or may not mean something. Only time will tell. Once Peter finds out whether it means something or not, he will be sure to tell his readers what it means and how he knew previously that's probably what it meant.
Too early for speculative stuff like this to be anything to take to Vegas.
Here is some speculation that Peter wants you to take seriously if it turns out to be correct, but ignore entirely if it turns out not to be correct because it's just speculation you know.
Jon Gruden favors Mariota over Winston
I'm not sure how Gruden became a QB expert. Maybe he's an expert as long as his track record in the NFL of being a QB expert is ignored. I think this means I'll favor Winston over Mariota.
Melvin Gordon will not get past Baltimore at No. 26
But again, this is just speculation. So just forget Peter wrote this, unless it happens, in which case remember that Peter said Gordon wouldn't get past Baltimore at No. 26.
Randy Gregory’s positive pot test and weighing 235 at the combine scared off many teams near the top of the draft off—but some of those teams, after due diligence, are feeling more comfortable with Gregory early in the round. I get the feeling Gregory’s going to be this draft’s boom or bust guy
Until it comes time for Peter to talk about Jameis Winston, who will then become the draft's biggest boom or bust guy.
Not that anything’s going to hurt where the Florida State quarterback will get drafted—he’s still the overwhelming favorite to go number one—but I would file away this line from attorney David Cornwell: “He’s ready to be an NFL player on the field. But he’s not ready to be an NFL player off the field.”...But here’s the thing: If you’re drafting a quarterback number one overall, you want that player to make it or not based on his ability as a player, not on some off-field problems. Twelve quarterbacks have been picked first overall in the past 20 years: Andrew Luck, Cam Newton, Sam Bradford, Matthew Stafford, JaMarcus Russell, Alex Smith, Eli Manning, Carson Palmer, David Carr, Michael Vick, Tim Couch, Peyton Manning. Russell was the only real star-crossed guy entering the draft; Al Davis was in love with his arm strength and overlooked his lack of maturity. I don’t think any of the 11 others had much that concerned teams off the field before being drafted—though there was some question about Newton playing at three schools in college.
Part of the reason Newton transferred from the University of Florida is because he had Tim Tebow in front him on the depth chart, then he went to a community college and was able to transfer to Auburn after that. I remember one big question off the field about Newton were the accusations that he stole a computer during his time at Florida and there were other academic issues brought up. I don't recall the maturity issues surrounding JaMarcus Russell, but I also may not be remembering very well.
What is going on with Ted Wells? This is day 80 of his investigation into the Patriots and the deflated-footballs allegations. The AFC title game was 12 weeks ago. I respect the work of Wells and his staff, but this is getting ridiculous. The marathon bombing trial took five weeks. The Patriots’ investigation is in its 12th.
Maybe Ted Wells stopped investigating the deflated ball allegations for a while to help O.J. look for the real killers. Or maybe Roger Goodell is more interested in pretending like he cares long enough for the public to not care as much anymore (though I never really cared that much in the first place). I'd say the second line of thought may be more accurate.
“It’s about time.”
—Baltimore coach John Harbaugh, on the NFL, preparing for its 96th season, finally hiring its first full-time female official, line judge Sarah Thomas.
Yeah, but when Harbaugh starts yelling at Thomas is she going to go into a little ball and start crying about how he was so mean to her? If Thomas is married, will her husband come on the field and get angry at Harbaugh for yelling at her? I just hope John Harbaugh understands that Sarah Thomas will tuck her hair under her hat so that nobody gets distracted by the fact she's a girl and is officiating a man's sport. She'll look like a guy without a ponytail hanging out, but treat her with kid gloves because she is in fact a woman.
“Money wasn’t the first reason to make me want to come here. Even when I knew [about the contract offer], I was like, ‘I’m not going there. I don’t give a freak what they give me, I’m not going.’ And then I realized it was the best for me. This is a team that wants me. Coach [Rex] Ryan is a winner and he wants to run the ball.”
—Buffalo running back LeSean McCoy, recalling his stunning March trade from Philadelphia to the Bills to Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer.
This is something Bills fans are probably incredibly eager to read about. LeSean McCoy in no way wanted to be a Buffalo Bill, but then he realized he was on the team anyway and they seemed to want him, so why not? Without other options, outside of holding out, why not be a Buffalo Bill?
“I don’t project trades. But in talking to people, my sense is Mariota is likely to be taken [number two overall.]”
—ESPN draft analyst Mel Kiper, the well-coiffed one, on what he’s hearing about where Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota will be chosen on April 30.
So Kiper is saying the Titans wouldn't draft Mariota and a team would trade up for him? Maybe the Titans don't like Mariota, but it seems to me like the Titans could draft Mariota #2 and then Mel wouldn't have to project any trades.
Factoid of the Week That May Interest Only Me
In the matter of great safeties not playing anymore:
Washington strong safety Sean Taylor played his last football game at 24.
This is an interesting factoid from Peter simply because his history of discussing Sean Taylor is another example of Peter saying stupid shit and then trying to defend it. Peter essentially called Taylor "a disappointment" for the Redskins because he didn't live up to being a franchise safety. Taylor mostly didn't live up to this billing because he was murdered. It had something to do with it. So now Peter is hoping his readers forget that and calls Taylor a "great safety." But just a few short years ago he wrote:
Berry looks like a top-10 pick, but the team that takes him is going to be picking against history. Of the five top-10 safeties this decade, none has had franchise-player impact: Roy Williams (Dallas, eighth overall, 2002), Sean Taylor (Washington, fifth overall, 2004), Michael Huff (Oakland, seventh, 2006), Donte Whitner (Buffalo, eighth, 2006), LaRon Landry (Washington, sixth, 2007).
But I don't know if Taylor, who was out with a knee injury at the time of his death, would have been the kind of franchise safety Ed Reed is, because to do so, you've got to stand the test of time.
The point of the item is that even the great safeties, the highly regarded ones, are such physical forces on the field that they often don't have long and impactful careers.
Except that wasn't Peter's point. He was hiding behind the whole "great safeties get injured" reasoning for why Taylor didn't make an impact on the Redskins franchise. Nevermind being killed isn't exactly an example of Taylor getting injured. Peter calls Taylor a "great safety" now, but he was a little dubious about Taylor's impact a few years ago.
Then Peter includes a Tweet from Steve Politi (a Tweet that would not embed on this blog for some reason) that says:
This event is my favorite of the year, but so far, it’s been the Masterzzzz.
I'm sorry, CBS can't hear your complaining over the 26% increase in ratings. Boring, but lucrative.
Ten Things I Think I Think
1. I think, with the Masters fresh on your minds, there’s this anecdote from Gary Myers of the New York Daily News, which he unearthed researching his book on the Tom Brady-Peyton Manning rivalry (“Brady Vs. Manning: The Untold Story of the Rivalry That Transformed the NFL,” by Crown Archetype, due out Sept. 22):
There is definitely a market for a book such as this, but I am not that market. Can't we wait until Brady and Manning have been retired for a few years before writing "untold" stories about their rivalry? Maybe a few years from now, perhaps 3-4 years after they have retired, this book should be written so Manning and Brady can be appreciated. For now though, why must there be such immediacy to write a book on how the Brady-Manning rivalry transformed the NFL (I'm not going to argue this point because I haven't read the book, but I'm skeptical of statements like this) when they are both still active players? It sounds like Gary Myers wants to sell some books and appeal to Brady-Manning fans while the iron is still hot and fans are eager to purchase this book while both players are still active. This is as opposed to writing the book 3-4 years after Brady and Manning retire when more perspective could be given on their impact on the NFL. If Myers waited a few years then a better narrative could be written once both players are retired. But I guess writing a better book with perspective isn't necessarily the goal is it?
Tom Brady and Tom Brady Sr. and Rory McIlroy and McIlroy’s father have a mutual friend. Through the mutual friend, they set up to play golf together at Augusta National Golf Club the second week in March. The Bradys and McIlroys, the mutual friend and his father and another friend and his father played their own father-son tournament on the Masters course. The night before they played, the Brady/McIlroy group walked into the restaurant at Augusta National to have dinner. Seated at another table were Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Cooper Manning, Jacob Tamme and John Lynch. Brady and Manning, who have played many rounds of golf together, chatted for a few minutes before Brady rejoined his group for dinner. Brady did not know Manning was going to be there. Brady and Manning were on the course the next day, but didn’t play together. Brady’s group played three rounds in two days. Tom went off the first tee with Rory. Not a bad scene.
This story is interesting in that it shows wealthy athletes tend to hang out with each other and in the same places. Also, the Masters is a fun course to play. Otherwise, I'm sure there are better anecdotes in this book about Brady and Manning. There better be.
4. I think there is no more trusted player inside the Cleveland Browns than Joe Thomas, and no one more team-oriented in all ways. And when he says (as he did to ESPN Cleveland last week) that Johnny Manziel is “going to have to prove to the team football is important,” it’s a damning indictment of the impression Manziel left on the locker room last season.
(checks watch) Yep, I guess it's the time where Peter King will start to bash Johnny Manziel in as many MMQB's as possible. Why not? It's not like Peter sat down with Manziel and got a chance to judge him for himself prior to the draft, except, you know, he did. At the time, I thought it was a very good performance by Manziel. People don't change their behavior simply because they now have the chance to get paid handsomely for doing what they once did for free. But anyway, it's time to bash Manziel because he's essentially been the same person he was in college and the media wanted to believe he had made this huge change. Bash Manziel for not changing when writers like Peter King wanted him to have changed so badly.
Peter KNEW that going to rehab was not Johnny Manziel's idea. Sure, he never mentioned that prior to last week once rumors of the Browns being unhappy with Manziel started to leak out, but Peter was totally thinking it prior to this.
7. I think I love when guys say dumb things on social media and immediately claim their account was hacked. That’s what Darrelle Revis said Sunday after he or the hacker got into some ugly back-and-forths with fans unhappy with his decision to leave the Patriots for the Jets. Must be a lot of people out there who know Revis’ social media passwords. Or not.
Well Peter, not everyone can write something stupid on Twitter and then get away with very little criticism from anyone outside of the fans. When Darrelle Revis says something dumb on Twitter, it gets mentioned by the media (like how Peter just did), but when Peter King says something dumb on Twitter or in MMQB then there is only the fans to mention it and discuss it because Peter's friends in the media certainly will just blow it off as Peter not meaning what he wrote.
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
a. Thanks for the invitation, Sports Business Journal, to be a part of Thursday’s future-of-the-media panel in Los Angeles, with ESPN heavyweight John Walsh, Jason Whitlock of the new site The Undefeated, Pam Oliver of FOX Sports, and SBJ’s John Ourand.
Isn't it interesting how Grantland was announced and got off the ground within a month and a half, but Jason Whitlock was hired to run his own Grantland-type site almost a year and a half ago, yet the site hasn't debuted yet?
I like the idea of a site dedicated to shine the light on racial issues, inside and outside of sports, because of how much societal issues affect the people we write about and you watch. That showed up big last fall with the Rams players’ personal statements of empathy for those affected by the strife in Ferguson.
And Peter King knows how those citizens of Ferguson felt, because one time he was pulled over by the police and they thought he was Peter King the Republican Congressman from New York. It was pretty hostile there for a few minutes, but Peter and the cop had a good laugh about it later. Peter got off with a warning for a broken tail light and gained a new reader of MMQB. But for a few minutes, Peter felt he was being discriminated against because he was a Congressman.
d. Maybe I should get into “Game of Thrones.”
Oh no, you should not. You will be very, very confused.
i. It’s hard to believe a modern athlete, such as Mets closer Jennry Mejia, would use a steroid (Stanazolol, the same one Ben Johnson used to prep for the Seoul Olympics nearly two decades ago) to get better, knowing baseball tests for it. It’s an intelligence test, to some degree, because Mejia knows he’ll be tested. And he obviously flunked the test.
I'm sure Mejia also thought he had used a masking agent or he wouldn't be tested again for some time. Maybe he is just stupid, but I can't imagine how a human would know something is wrong, know he/she could get caught and then do that stupid thing anyway. It's almost like it's human nature.
m. Coffeenerdness: Java Question of the Week, from the Peet’s barista in the JFK Airport Terminal 4 coffee shop, after I’d ordered a medium latte with an extra shot of espresso, paid, and was waiting near the espresso machine for my drink to come out. “You know this already comes with two shots, so you’re sure you want a third?” Yes. Quite sure.
Peter probably really said something in response like, "I know how many shots I want. Just give me the third shot and do your job" and then got back to texting Mitch Albom about how service industry workers are morons and continued holding up the rest of the line by not looking up when the barista was trying to hand him the drink.
o. Apropos of nothing: I was waiting for a plane at LAX the other night, and heard “That Smell” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. One of the worst songs ever created. Why did it become popular?
Whaaaaaaaaat? I wouldn't expect a fan of U2 to really appreciate "That Smell." It's not poppy and haughty-sounding enough. Sounds about drug and alcohol addiction don't always have a soaring chorus where fans can raise their arms in the air as a douchebag lead singer smiles knowing each of these morons paid $110 to watch his band perform. "That Smell" is about drug and alcohol addiction, it's not supposed to be a pretty song.
The Adieu Haiku
Troy Polamalu.
His name’s not good for haiku.
I doubt he cares, though.
It gets worse every week. This is one of the worst haikus ever created. Please stop writing these haikus. Do it for the sake of our children's children.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
5 comments MMQB Review: Peter King Inquires About Nate Boyer's Personal Death Toll, Because He Has No Sense of Tact Edition
Peter King talked about the teams that "controlled" the draft in last week's MMQB. He also rosterbated on what the Vikings should do with Adrian Peterson and got a few quotes from NFL coaches that helped his readers learn Marvin Lewis isn't worried about Andy Dalton in the playoffs (a lie), Pete Carroll would call the same play again in the Super Bowl (a lie...even though Carroll didn't call the play) and no one has a clue how to fix Jay Cutler other than to run draw plays (probably true). This week talks about a feel-good story, a woman who is going to officiate NFL games (don't tell Chris Paul), is shocked by how salaries differ in a sport with a salary cap as compared to a sport without a salary cap, and takes a quick shot at Josh Freeman because he's given the opportunity to do so.
Before I get to one of the most amazing subjects of any Monday Morning Quarterback column in the 18 years I’ve been writing it—so please do not stray—a paean to baseball’s Opening Day, sort of, from one of its brightest stars.
Peter had never heard of this "Mike Trout" player until last year, but then he came in and played really well against the Red Sox. Now he knows him. What a player this Mike Trout guy is!
Late in spring training, on the Angels’ practice field, Mike Trout, American League MVP and Philadelphia Eagles season-ticket-holder, is telling this wacky story from last September. I’d seen video of a game on the Angels’ TV network from last fall. On the replay, the screen is split. On one side, Trout, in center field for the Angels on a Sunday afternoon, is peering into the Angels’ broadcast booth, 300 feet away. On the other half of the screen, where Trout is looking, is Angels color man Mark Gubicza. They both love the Eagles. Gubicza starts to flap his arms, in the “Fly Eagles Fly” gesture the Philly fans use. Excited, Trout starts to flap his wings too.
I'm glad this story preempted Peter's story about a Green Beret trying to make it into the NFL as a long-snapper, because this story could not wait and had to be told immediately. This is a developing story that won't stop breaking.
“I was fired up about the game, and I told Guby during batting practice, ‘Hey, I’m gonna look up every inning. Let me know—if we’re doing good, give me the ‘Fly Eagles Fly’ signal. If we’re not, give me this.'” Trout made the throat-slash gesture.
Oh, the throat-slash gesture.
Get ready for a stupid question from Peter.
“He’s, like, 300 feet away,” I say. “How can you see him? What’s your eyesight?”
Peter King just asked an MLB outfielder how he saw a person flapping his arms in a broadcast booth 300 feet away. MLB outfielders routinely play 280-300 feet away from home plate where they follow a tiny white ball hit off a bat thrown by a pitcher (the ball, not the bat...unless Roger Clemens is on the mound) that is traveling between 75-100 mph when it is hit by the batter. Mike Trout plays outfield, where he is able to track down and catch this little ball in a glove, but Peter is shocked AND AMAZED that Mike Trout can see a man flapping his arms from that distance. Following a little white ball from 300-400 feet? No problem? Seeing a man flapping his arms from 300 feet? HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?
Typical Peter King. He's amazed by the little things in life. Mike Trout tracks a baseball down for a living. A dude flapping his arms when Trout is looking for him shouldn't be hard to see.
Now for the big question: What about all these offseason moves by madman Chip Kelly?
Yes, I definitely need football analysis from Mike Trout. Peter is holding off telling what he states is one of his favorite stories in MMQB history to tell a story about Mike Trout watching another person flapping his arms and getting Trout's opinion on the Eagles' offseason moves. Priorities.
“I’ve been shocked, for sure,” Trout says. “But, you know, Chip Kelly’s got something up his sleeve. If he thinks Sam Bradford’s the guy, you know, you gotta trust it. He has one thing in mind, and that’s winning a Super Bowl. Whatever it takes. Whatever he thinks is right, that’s what he’s gonna do.
Insightful. Glad Peter asked. Now let's hear more about how Trout found a way to see Mark Gubicza flap his arms in a broadcasting booth. What magic he performs!
The phone rang in Nate Boyer’s shoebox of a studio apartment in L.A. on Sept. 11, 2001, waking up the 20-year-old man without a life compass. Boyer looked at his clock … 6 a.m.
“Nate,” his mother said, “turn on the TV.”
“What channel?” Boyer said.
“Doesn’t matter,” his mother said.
Boyer had a 19-inch TV with a rabbit-ears antenna, and he turned it on. The World Trade Center was on fire. In an hour, one of the twin towers collapsed; a half-hour after that, the second one fell.
Peter King wasn't in New York City that day, but just how he managed to empathize with Ivan Maisel because he lost his daughter for five minutes in a grocery store, Peter knows how New Yorkers felt that day. One time the fire got out of control in his fire pit at home and melted his cell phone. It ruined a lawn chair too. It was basically his version of 9-11.
This is the day Boyer’s life changed—as so many lives did in so many different ways. It’s crazy to say that it’s the seminal event in a life that led Boyer to a refugee camp in Darfur three years later, then to enlist in the Army, then to multiple tours of duty as a Green Beret, then to enroll as a 29-year-old freshman at the University of Texas, then to a walk-on tryout for the Longhorns football team,
That isn’t even the craziest thing about the Nate Boyer story. This is: When he walked on at Texas, he had never played a snap of football in the first 29 years of his life. Mack Brown, the coach at the time, didn’t know until the end of Boyer’s second year at Texas that he’d never played football.
I can't figure out for the life of me why Mack Brown got fired.
"Wait, our quarterback doesn't have a scholarship to play football for us? Why is he walking on four legs? Our quarterback is a dog? How come no one told me about this?" (Mack Brown fires his defensive coordinator out of habit)
Boyer made it happen. The man who never played the game mostly taught himself how to long-snap on his final special-forces tour, coming back to fall practice at Texas determined to win the job. He practiced and drilled himself into playing 38 Big 12 Conference games, which is why there’s a glimmer of hope that this incredible football life has a chance to continue this summer at an NFL training camp near you.
Wait, there is an NFL training camp near me? The closest one I know of is three hours away.
“I need teams to look past the fact I’m 34 years old, obviously,” Boyer said from Los Angeles on Friday. “I’m not your average 34-year-old.”
Plus, he's a long-snapper. Age isn't always a huge issue for long-snappers. It's not like Boyer is a quarterback like Brandon Weeden or Chris Weinke.
This is what Boyer is up against, as he attempts to become one of 1,696 active players in the most exclusive sports league in America:
The NBA would like for you to redo your math on that one, Peter. 53 players and 32 teams comes to 1696 players and the NBA has 15 players on a team and 30 teams. That's 450 players. So by "most exclusive" I think Peter means "Don't check my math to determine if this is factually correct."
Oh, and NHL teams have 23 players on the roster and there are 30 teams. That comes to 690 players. Maybe Peter means something else by "most exclusive."
His age. Ever hear of a 34-year-old NFL rookie? NFL teams frown on 25-year-old rookies. Add nine years, and most are going to say, “Incredible story. Good luck, Nate.”
He's a long-snapper. Again, I'm not sure age is as large of an issue for long-snappers.
His size. Boyer is 5-11 and 220 pounds. The average size of the current 32 long-snappers: 6-2 ½, 246. One snapper is shorter than 6-0 (Houston’s Jonathan Weeks, at 5-10). Two snappers are lighter than 230 (Falcon Josh Harris, at 224; Denver’s Aaron Brewer, at 225).
And this could be an issue. The NFL frowns on college players who are small for their position as much as they frown on college players who are older for a rookie.
Boyer only needs one team to say yes. No team will use a pick on the now draft-eligible Boyer, but NFL teams will bring 90 players to camp in late July. Every team signs 20 to 25 undrafted college free agents for training camp. Theoretically, then, Boyer is competing to be one of 650 or so undrafted players invited to one of the 32 NFL camps.
“You may not look at me and think, ‘This guy is capable of anything,’ but nothing is going to stop me,” Boyer said. “I might die trying, but I will work till the last beat of my heart to accomplish the mission—
Oh man, if Nate Boyer died trying to make an NFL team then Roger Goodell would REALLY have to plug his ears and cover his eyes in an effort to pretend he didn't know nothing and try to rehab the NFL's image.
Boyer had no college degree, no discernible skill, and so no relief or medical agency would retain him to work in the relief camps for Darfur refugees. So he flew to Chad. When he landed, he lied about being an American doctor and about being robbed in Paris on his way to the refugee camp, and he talked himself onto a United Nations plane heading to Abéché, home to the largest refugee camp.
Ah, it's just a couple of lies all for the sake of America. The NFL would never hold the fact a college prospect lied in his past against him would they?
When he came back from Chad (his 60-day visa could not be extended), he decided to try to earn a spot in the U.S. Army Special Forces. At Fort Benning, Ga., 145 candidates started Special Forces training. Eleven, including Boyer, made it through. “I was all in,” he said. “In my free time, I did a mile of lunges without stopping.”
Whaaaaaaat?
"Yeah," Peter says, "but can you see a guy flapping his arms from 300 feet away?"
Twice in Afghanistan, Boyer felt he came close to death—including just before he returned from his last deployment in 2014. Understand that this final tour was the Special Forces’ version of a summer job. Before his last season at Texas, he deployed to Tajab, near the Afghan-Pakistan border, searching for Taliban. One day, in a firefight with some Taliban forces, the captain of the Afghan forces, fighting next to Boyer, was shot in the throat and died. That battle is when the bullet came three inches from Boyer’s face. He actually had the presence of mind to tell me it was better him in such danger than a peer with a family. “I’m not married, and I don’t have any children,” he said. “Better to have me there.”
“How many people did you kill?” I asked.
Great question, Peter. This questions shows a vast knowledge of Green Berets (and other members of the military), as a group of people who always love to be asked about all the people they have killed like they are an 8 year old playing "Super Contra" for the first time. Who the hell asks this type of question, other than a child?
Peter claims he didn't know it was bad form. I don't know what planet Peter lives on sometimes. I have not a clue how Peter has survived this long in life with some of the weirdly insensitive and tone-deaf things he Tweets.
“I am not going to answer that,” Boyer said, after a pause. “I honestly don’t know. I can tell you I am no Chris Kyle. But you don’t really know because—well, you are in these battles, and you come back, and, last year, we had one firefight with 30 enemy KIA [killed in action], and you never know for sure who got who.”
Seriously though, Peter, great question. I'm sure there is nothing Nate Boyer would like recalling more than those times he ended another person's life. It probably doesn't affect him psychologically or emotionally, so it's not an insensitive question to ask at all.
Recently, Eagles coach Chip Kelly and his sports science coordinator—former U.S. Naval Special Warfare personal coach Shaun Huls—visited Glazer’s gym. Boyer met Kelly. “How much do you weigh?” Kelly asked. That’s what every coach will want to know, at least those who are thinking of giving the longest of shots a chance.
“Two-twenty,” Boyer told him.
Then Chip Kelly tried to trade Boyer to the Packers for a 6th round pick, simply out of habit.
One more thing: Boyer has another mission.
“The veteran suicide rate is 22 a day,” he said. “Twenty-two a day! Unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. People out there are trying to fix that, and I am one of those people. I want to prove to those leaving the military that if you believe in yourself and work and sacrifice, the same way you did in the military, you can achieve what you want in society. I want to make a difference for veterans, and what they can do in the world.”
That starts with a job offer in May, after the NFL draft.
To be fair to Nate Boyer, though it wouldn't fit Peter's want for making dramatic statements, he could very well achieve this without playing in the NFL. It's not like making the Texas football team and then being invited to an NFL team's training camp wouldn't prove that veterans can make a difference in the world once they come back from their tour of duty. I know, this isn't dramatic enough for Peter, so he'll act like the only way Boyer can make a difference for veterans is if he plays in the NFL.
The NFL’s first full-time female official will arrive in the 96th season of the league, now that Sarah Thomas has been hired. Aaron Wilson of the Baltimore Sun reported Thomas’ hire Friday, and though the league wouldn’t confirm it, the story’s a lock. Thomas will be a full-time line judge starting this summer.
Chris Paul wants to know how she'll run down the field with all of her lady parts and keep up with the middle-aged male officials?
Thomas, married with three children, became a finalist for an NFL job in 2013, was a finalist again last year, and this year, with eight new officials being hired, was finally one of the new officials elevated.
Peter should ask Sarah Thomas how she plans on balancing her work life with the time she wants to dedicate to her children and whether she is trying to "have it all." He's asking veterans how many people they killed, so he may as well go full heel in his line of questioning.
The line judge is on the line of scrimmage near the sideline, opposite the head linesman. The line judge is the backup timekeeper, works with the linesman on offside and encroachment calls, and, once the ball is snapped, follows the closest slot back or flanker to that side downfield seven yards.
Well, that's just great. Women can never be on time for anything, but the NFL is going to hire a woman to be the backup timekeeper? This will never work. Besides, how is Sarah Thomas going to follow a flanker while wearing heels? WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA TO HIRE A WOMAN FOR A MAN'S JOB! How many people has she killed?
When she has worked, she stuffs her blonde ponytail under her hat and looks like any other official.
Thanks for pointing out what Sarah Thomas does with her hair during the game. If you had not brought it up, I would have been concerned Thomas would have been too focused on making sure her ponytail is straight as opposed to officiating the NFL game. I'm really glad Peter pointed out what Thomas does with her hair. I was deeply concerned she would try to bring a full-length mirror on the field in the middle of the game to make sure her hair looks good, just like any woman would do.
When she worked a Cleveland Browns practice in 2012, several players said they didn’t notice anything different about the line judge until it was pointed out that the line judge was a woman. If that happens on the field this year, Thomas—and the NFL—will be very happy.
She better keep that blonde ponytail tucked up under her hat or else the players may get distracted by her feminine wiles.
PFF has some good information on the draftable players. Such as:
Overrated? A sure-fire top-five pick, USC defensive tackle Leonard Williams, was underproductive in obvious passing situations. On third-and-long he produced only eight pressures (two hits, six hurries) on 94 pass rushes. That earned a Pass-Rush Productivity number of 6.4, well below the class average for interior defensive linemen of 7.6.
I don't know if this means Leonard is overrated or that teams doubled him in obvious passing situations. That's a possibility too.
Baylor quarterback Bryce Petty has a good deep arm. Petty completed 34 of 95 passes on balls thrown at least 20 yards downfield. They went for 1,472 yards, 20 touchdowns and one interception. The 20 touchdowns led all FBS quarterbacks on such deep throws, while the yardage total was second-highest.
Uh-oh, Bryce Petty is the new Tom Savage. Next thing we know, Peter King will be writing a MMQB about how Petty is the hot new quarterback in the draft because he has so many individual workouts lined up and because Petty's agent will do a great job of pretending his client is going to be drafted 1-2 rounds before any logical GM would draft him.
This is anecdotal evidence, but I wonder how many of these deep balls were thrown to receivers who were wide open as compared to thrown to receivers who were being covered and there was a tight window to throw into? I only ask because I feel like every time I saw a highlight of Baylor scoring a touchdown the ball was being thrown to a wide open receiver due to the Baylor offensive scheme being so good. Again, it's anecdotal evidence.
“We found out there was a bar called the Cricket Inn, or the Cricket, which was a popular bar there at Oklahoma State. Our [scout] would sit there for a week. He sat there for one week, went in every day at 3 o’clock and stayed till 11 o’clock at night. That was his job. And we checked: How many times did Justin Blackmon come in? And he came in too many times. And we took him off our board.”
—Former Tampa Bay GM Mark Dominik, on why the Bucs took Justin Blackmon off their draft board in 2012.
Too bad the Jaguars didn’t have a spy in the Cricket in 2012.
While this sounds slightly creepy and a little bit smart, the Buccaneers did draft Mark Barron with the 7th pick in the draft. So before marveling at how much research the Buccaneers did, I don't want to forget they took Blackmon off the draft board and then screwed up their first round pick anyway.
“It’s just like the Michael Sam situation. If he wasn’t gay, he would have gone undrafted. Instead, the league drafts him because I think they are trying to monopolize every aspect of the world. The same thing with a female ref. For the league, it’s great publicity. The NFL is all about monopolizing every opportunity.”
—Jacksonville defensive tackle Sen’Derrick Marks, to TMZ, about the NFL’s hiring of Sarah Thomas as the first full-time female game official.
It certainly sounds like the NFL is ready for a woman ref. Though I'm not sure how the NFL really got great publicity from Michael Sam getting drafted, other than it got the NFL in the news on the third day of the draft when the NFL would probably be in the news anyway.
Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady and Defensive Player of the Year J.J. Watt finished the 2014 season at the top of their respective games, Brady leading two fourth-quarter touchdown drives to win the Super Bowl over Seattle and Watt compiling one of the best defensive seasons a player has ever had.
Combined, their 2015 salary-cap number is $27.97 million. Brady’s is $14 million, Watt’s $13.97 million.
How the two NFL stars’ 2015 compensation compares to some dynamic baseball duos:
A few things here:
1. One sport has a salary cap and the other sport does not have a salary cap. While this may be a part of Peter's point, it's fairly obvious that a sport with a salary cap is going to have lower contract numbers for the players than a sport without a salary cap would have. It's so obvious that it doesn't really merit a comparison like this. Maybe it's more interesting than I give it credit for.
2. Peter has chosen players from baseball who are generally overpaid. How about he chooses a few baseball players that don't fit the narrative he wants to push? Baseball and football have differently salary structures. For the first 6 seasons of a baseball player's career he could end up playing for a fraction of his real worth. So Peter is choosing only the expensive underachieving/overpaid baseball players that fit his narrative. Still, baseball players make more than football players. That's not news.
3. How about Peter compares the salaries of some overpaid NFL players to MLB players that don't make quite what they are worth? How about Peter's boy Josh McCown who has a cap hit of $8.65 million from the Buccaneers and Browns. Matt Schaub has a cap hit of $2 million. That's $10.65 million for two backup quarterbacks and Mike Trout and Garrett Richards are only making $9.283 million this year!
How about Michael Johnson, who is making $9.6 million this year for the Buccaneers and Bengals? Anthony Collins is making $3 million this year. Neither of them are even on the Buccaneers team anymore. Meanwhile, the Rays are paying Evan Longoria and Alex Cobb $15 million this year.
Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week
Readers of this column know how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general. But there are some times, way too often, that stupid little things go bad on a trip, and for those who don’t love train travel the way I do, I wonder if little events like this make people say, “I’m better off driving.”
By writing "how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general" Peter means "how much I love train travel when everything goes perfectly but then I bitch about any inconvenience in train travel in the most public way possible once something goes wrong."
Thursday evening, Amtrak regional train heading north to Penn Station in New York … Train pulls out of Newark for the nine-minute ride to New York City. It took 47 minutes. It inched, stopped, inched, rode for a minute, inched, stopped, stayed stopped, inched, etc. No explanation. I’ll get on the train again, many times. A bunch of the grumblers, well, I’m not sure. Things like that happen far too often on those regional trains.
It sounds like the police should have gotten involved. This is a crime of historic proportions. I'm just glad Peter King is here to tell his audience that, in fact, public transportation is not always reliable.
Ten Things I Think I Think
1. I think the most stunning piece of news from the last few days, other than Sarah Thomas’s hiring, was Chris Mortensen’s report that the Browns had basically moved on from Johnny Manziel. The way he described it on ESPN was that, when the offensive staff was putting together the offseason program, “Manziel’s name barely even came up in conversation.” I can tell you this: Mortensen is 100 percent accurate here. In fact, when the quarterbacks have been discussed this offseason in-house, Josh McCown is the dominant talking point, and then Thad Lewis, signed last month as a free agent. Then comes Manziel and Connor Shaw.
After one season they give up on him I see. Why not?
2. I think the moral of this story is this: Manziel has done too much damage to his reputation with owner Jimmy Haslam, GM Ray Farmer and coach Mike Pettine to be taken seriously in Cleveland when he returns to the team, which is likely to be in the next week or so.
Which, by the way, Manziel's reputation won't mean shit if he comes back to Browns' camp and starts playing really well. That is the key to Browns management not giving a crap about a reputation, just start to play well. Winning cures all.
3. I think I am dubious that Manziel going to rehab was his idea.
I think I'm wondering why Peter King uses three separate numbers to discuss the exact same topic (Johnny Manziel) when these three points could all be discussed under #1. Peter does this all the time and it annoys the nitpicker in me.
All three points are about Johnny Manziel, his reputation and his future in Cleveland. Yet, for some reason, Peter believes they require three separate points rather than have these points all come under point #1.
7. I think I’ll believe the new and improved Josh Freeman—who signed with the Dolphins after being out of football last year—when I see it.
Peter can't resist getting a shot at Josh Freeman in when he sees that Freeman might get a chance to play in the NFL. I will never understand what Peter King has against Josh Freeman. All I can guess is that Freeman helped get Peter King's friend Greg Schiano fired in Tampa Bay and that's why he doesn't like Josh Freeman. In terms of NFL players who have been overpaid by an NFL team, Freeman isn't in the Top 20 of NFL players over the last two years. Matt Schaub made something like $8 million last year to be the backup to Derek Carr and Josh McCown made $4.75 million to help the Buccaneers get the #1 overall draft pick in this year's draft through his shitty play. Still, Peter will go to bat for McCown and talk about what a great teacher he is for other quarterbacks. But Josh Freeman sucked for the Vikings and made $2 million in the process, which is a felony that Peter King won't ever let Freeman live down. I wonder why.
Either the Freeman family is sticking up for each other (they aren't related in reality) or not everyone in the NFL hates Josh Freeman with the vigor and ferocity that Peter King does.
9. I think this Chicago headline means absolutely nothing to me: “Football autographed by Cutler gets no bids at charity event.” I just don’t care that a reviled player tries to do something nice for someone, or for some charity, and doesn’t get the football bought by anyone. I understand it suggests the community doesn’t like him, but we needed fans to pass on a signed football in a charity auction to know that? I don’t think so.
Peter doesn't need to know fans passed on buying a signed Jay Cutler football in order to know Bears fans don't like him, but Peter feels it is vitally important to point out what a waste of human flesh Josh Freeman is every opportunity he can get. Freeman was out of football last year, does it merit a mention that he'll have to prove he can play quarterback at an NFL level any more than a Jay Cutler signed football not being bought proves Bears fans aren't happy with Cutler?
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
e. Mike Krzyzewski was hired to coach Duke on March 18, 1980—six days after I was hired to cover Xavier basketball and the Reds for the Cincinnati Enquirer. What a long strange trip it’s been.
And when I think of Coach K, my thoughts immediately go to the parallel that he and Peter King were hired within days of each other. Two lofty and haughty men, entering their business at the same time. Wait, Coach K went to Army. Why doesn't Peter King ask him how many people he killed?
f. I want to like Duke tonight. But I say Wisconsin on a Frank the Tank putback in the closing seconds.
It's your opinion. If you want to like Duke, you can literally do that if you want to.
j. Barry Zito outrighted to Triple-A by the A’s. I am officially not just old, but ancient.
Barry Zito is 36 years old and he isn't even close to being one of the oldest players who will be optioned to Triple-A by a major league team over the past/next few years. Why does this make Peter King feel old? Peter confuses me.
l. Coffeenerdness: Memo to Starbucks: If you want to see an assembly line of efficiency at an incredibly busy store, go to your place at Penn Station in Manhattan during morning rush hour.
Yes, every Starbucks employee in the New York area should go to the Penn Station Starbucks during the morning rush so that Peter's favorite Starbucks will be closed during this time and Peter can bitch about how not every Starbucks employee should have been away at the same time. If this did happen then it would really test the ability of the Penn Station Starbucks to handle a rush, once a thousand people all show up at the same time.
I did a quick count when I walked at about 7:45 Thursday morning. Forty-eight people, either in line or waiting for their drink. I was out with my coffee at 7:53. Three great baristas, working cheerfully, efficiently. My flat white was perfect. Not sure what the moral of the story is, other than you’ve got some really good people at that store.
I'm not sure how Peter King manages to find the time to balance his busy writing career and being the Quality Assurance Manager for every hotel/Starbucks/retail facility in the United States, but he does an impressive job of making sure everyone else is working as hard as he thinks they should be.
The Adieu Haiku
Day 73.
Ted Wells still studying Pats.
I mean, come on now.
This very well could have just been a sentence in the things that Peter thinks he thinks. This "Adieu Haiku" must go. It's purposeless and it hasn't even killed anyone recently.
Before I get to one of the most amazing subjects of any Monday Morning Quarterback column in the 18 years I’ve been writing it—so please do not stray—a paean to baseball’s Opening Day, sort of, from one of its brightest stars.
Peter had never heard of this "Mike Trout" player until last year, but then he came in and played really well against the Red Sox. Now he knows him. What a player this Mike Trout guy is!
Late in spring training, on the Angels’ practice field, Mike Trout, American League MVP and Philadelphia Eagles season-ticket-holder, is telling this wacky story from last September. I’d seen video of a game on the Angels’ TV network from last fall. On the replay, the screen is split. On one side, Trout, in center field for the Angels on a Sunday afternoon, is peering into the Angels’ broadcast booth, 300 feet away. On the other half of the screen, where Trout is looking, is Angels color man Mark Gubicza. They both love the Eagles. Gubicza starts to flap his arms, in the “Fly Eagles Fly” gesture the Philly fans use. Excited, Trout starts to flap his wings too.
I'm glad this story preempted Peter's story about a Green Beret trying to make it into the NFL as a long-snapper, because this story could not wait and had to be told immediately. This is a developing story that won't stop breaking.
“I was fired up about the game, and I told Guby during batting practice, ‘Hey, I’m gonna look up every inning. Let me know—if we’re doing good, give me the ‘Fly Eagles Fly’ signal. If we’re not, give me this.'” Trout made the throat-slash gesture.
Oh, the throat-slash gesture.
Get ready for a stupid question from Peter.
“He’s, like, 300 feet away,” I say. “How can you see him? What’s your eyesight?”
Peter King just asked an MLB outfielder how he saw a person flapping his arms in a broadcast booth 300 feet away. MLB outfielders routinely play 280-300 feet away from home plate where they follow a tiny white ball hit off a bat thrown by a pitcher (the ball, not the bat...unless Roger Clemens is on the mound) that is traveling between 75-100 mph when it is hit by the batter. Mike Trout plays outfield, where he is able to track down and catch this little ball in a glove, but Peter is shocked AND AMAZED that Mike Trout can see a man flapping his arms from that distance. Following a little white ball from 300-400 feet? No problem? Seeing a man flapping his arms from 300 feet? HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?
Typical Peter King. He's amazed by the little things in life. Mike Trout tracks a baseball down for a living. A dude flapping his arms when Trout is looking for him shouldn't be hard to see.
Now for the big question: What about all these offseason moves by madman Chip Kelly?
Yes, I definitely need football analysis from Mike Trout. Peter is holding off telling what he states is one of his favorite stories in MMQB history to tell a story about Mike Trout watching another person flapping his arms and getting Trout's opinion on the Eagles' offseason moves. Priorities.
“I’ve been shocked, for sure,” Trout says. “But, you know, Chip Kelly’s got something up his sleeve. If he thinks Sam Bradford’s the guy, you know, you gotta trust it. He has one thing in mind, and that’s winning a Super Bowl. Whatever it takes. Whatever he thinks is right, that’s what he’s gonna do.
Insightful. Glad Peter asked. Now let's hear more about how Trout found a way to see Mark Gubicza flap his arms in a broadcasting booth. What magic he performs!
The phone rang in Nate Boyer’s shoebox of a studio apartment in L.A. on Sept. 11, 2001, waking up the 20-year-old man without a life compass. Boyer looked at his clock … 6 a.m.
“Nate,” his mother said, “turn on the TV.”
“What channel?” Boyer said.
“Doesn’t matter,” his mother said.
Boyer had a 19-inch TV with a rabbit-ears antenna, and he turned it on. The World Trade Center was on fire. In an hour, one of the twin towers collapsed; a half-hour after that, the second one fell.
Peter King wasn't in New York City that day, but just how he managed to empathize with Ivan Maisel because he lost his daughter for five minutes in a grocery store, Peter knows how New Yorkers felt that day. One time the fire got out of control in his fire pit at home and melted his cell phone. It ruined a lawn chair too. It was basically his version of 9-11.
This is the day Boyer’s life changed—as so many lives did in so many different ways. It’s crazy to say that it’s the seminal event in a life that led Boyer to a refugee camp in Darfur three years later, then to enlist in the Army, then to multiple tours of duty as a Green Beret, then to enroll as a 29-year-old freshman at the University of Texas, then to a walk-on tryout for the Longhorns football team,
That isn’t even the craziest thing about the Nate Boyer story. This is: When he walked on at Texas, he had never played a snap of football in the first 29 years of his life. Mack Brown, the coach at the time, didn’t know until the end of Boyer’s second year at Texas that he’d never played football.
I can't figure out for the life of me why Mack Brown got fired.
"Wait, our quarterback doesn't have a scholarship to play football for us? Why is he walking on four legs? Our quarterback is a dog? How come no one told me about this?" (Mack Brown fires his defensive coordinator out of habit)
Boyer made it happen. The man who never played the game mostly taught himself how to long-snap on his final special-forces tour, coming back to fall practice at Texas determined to win the job. He practiced and drilled himself into playing 38 Big 12 Conference games, which is why there’s a glimmer of hope that this incredible football life has a chance to continue this summer at an NFL training camp near you.
Wait, there is an NFL training camp near me? The closest one I know of is three hours away.
“I need teams to look past the fact I’m 34 years old, obviously,” Boyer said from Los Angeles on Friday. “I’m not your average 34-year-old.”
Plus, he's a long-snapper. Age isn't always a huge issue for long-snappers. It's not like Boyer is a quarterback like Brandon Weeden or Chris Weinke.
This is what Boyer is up against, as he attempts to become one of 1,696 active players in the most exclusive sports league in America:
The NBA would like for you to redo your math on that one, Peter. 53 players and 32 teams comes to 1696 players and the NBA has 15 players on a team and 30 teams. That's 450 players. So by "most exclusive" I think Peter means "Don't check my math to determine if this is factually correct."
Oh, and NHL teams have 23 players on the roster and there are 30 teams. That comes to 690 players. Maybe Peter means something else by "most exclusive."
His age. Ever hear of a 34-year-old NFL rookie? NFL teams frown on 25-year-old rookies. Add nine years, and most are going to say, “Incredible story. Good luck, Nate.”
He's a long-snapper. Again, I'm not sure age is as large of an issue for long-snappers.
His size. Boyer is 5-11 and 220 pounds. The average size of the current 32 long-snappers: 6-2 ½, 246. One snapper is shorter than 6-0 (Houston’s Jonathan Weeks, at 5-10). Two snappers are lighter than 230 (Falcon Josh Harris, at 224; Denver’s Aaron Brewer, at 225).
And this could be an issue. The NFL frowns on college players who are small for their position as much as they frown on college players who are older for a rookie.
Boyer only needs one team to say yes. No team will use a pick on the now draft-eligible Boyer, but NFL teams will bring 90 players to camp in late July. Every team signs 20 to 25 undrafted college free agents for training camp. Theoretically, then, Boyer is competing to be one of 650 or so undrafted players invited to one of the 32 NFL camps.
“You may not look at me and think, ‘This guy is capable of anything,’ but nothing is going to stop me,” Boyer said. “I might die trying, but I will work till the last beat of my heart to accomplish the mission—
Oh man, if Nate Boyer died trying to make an NFL team then Roger Goodell would REALLY have to plug his ears and cover his eyes in an effort to pretend he didn't know nothing and try to rehab the NFL's image.
Boyer had no college degree, no discernible skill, and so no relief or medical agency would retain him to work in the relief camps for Darfur refugees. So he flew to Chad. When he landed, he lied about being an American doctor and about being robbed in Paris on his way to the refugee camp, and he talked himself onto a United Nations plane heading to Abéché, home to the largest refugee camp.
Ah, it's just a couple of lies all for the sake of America. The NFL would never hold the fact a college prospect lied in his past against him would they?
When he came back from Chad (his 60-day visa could not be extended), he decided to try to earn a spot in the U.S. Army Special Forces. At Fort Benning, Ga., 145 candidates started Special Forces training. Eleven, including Boyer, made it through. “I was all in,” he said. “In my free time, I did a mile of lunges without stopping.”
Whaaaaaaat?
"Yeah," Peter says, "but can you see a guy flapping his arms from 300 feet away?"
Twice in Afghanistan, Boyer felt he came close to death—including just before he returned from his last deployment in 2014. Understand that this final tour was the Special Forces’ version of a summer job. Before his last season at Texas, he deployed to Tajab, near the Afghan-Pakistan border, searching for Taliban. One day, in a firefight with some Taliban forces, the captain of the Afghan forces, fighting next to Boyer, was shot in the throat and died. That battle is when the bullet came three inches from Boyer’s face. He actually had the presence of mind to tell me it was better him in such danger than a peer with a family. “I’m not married, and I don’t have any children,” he said. “Better to have me there.”
“How many people did you kill?” I asked.
Great question, Peter. This questions shows a vast knowledge of Green Berets (and other members of the military), as a group of people who always love to be asked about all the people they have killed like they are an 8 year old playing "Super Contra" for the first time. Who the hell asks this type of question, other than a child?
RT @Deej1121: Asking a vet how many people he's killed is bad form … I didn’t know. If it is, my apologies.
— Peter King (@SI_PeterKing) April 6, 2015
Peter claims he didn't know it was bad form. I don't know what planet Peter lives on sometimes. I have not a clue how Peter has survived this long in life with some of the weirdly insensitive and tone-deaf things he Tweets.
“I am not going to answer that,” Boyer said, after a pause. “I honestly don’t know. I can tell you I am no Chris Kyle. But you don’t really know because—well, you are in these battles, and you come back, and, last year, we had one firefight with 30 enemy KIA [killed in action], and you never know for sure who got who.”
Seriously though, Peter, great question. I'm sure there is nothing Nate Boyer would like recalling more than those times he ended another person's life. It probably doesn't affect him psychologically or emotionally, so it's not an insensitive question to ask at all.
Recently, Eagles coach Chip Kelly and his sports science coordinator—former U.S. Naval Special Warfare personal coach Shaun Huls—visited Glazer’s gym. Boyer met Kelly. “How much do you weigh?” Kelly asked. That’s what every coach will want to know, at least those who are thinking of giving the longest of shots a chance.
“Two-twenty,” Boyer told him.
Then Chip Kelly tried to trade Boyer to the Packers for a 6th round pick, simply out of habit.
One more thing: Boyer has another mission.
“The veteran suicide rate is 22 a day,” he said. “Twenty-two a day! Unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. People out there are trying to fix that, and I am one of those people. I want to prove to those leaving the military that if you believe in yourself and work and sacrifice, the same way you did in the military, you can achieve what you want in society. I want to make a difference for veterans, and what they can do in the world.”
That starts with a job offer in May, after the NFL draft.
To be fair to Nate Boyer, though it wouldn't fit Peter's want for making dramatic statements, he could very well achieve this without playing in the NFL. It's not like making the Texas football team and then being invited to an NFL team's training camp wouldn't prove that veterans can make a difference in the world once they come back from their tour of duty. I know, this isn't dramatic enough for Peter, so he'll act like the only way Boyer can make a difference for veterans is if he plays in the NFL.
The NFL’s first full-time female official will arrive in the 96th season of the league, now that Sarah Thomas has been hired. Aaron Wilson of the Baltimore Sun reported Thomas’ hire Friday, and though the league wouldn’t confirm it, the story’s a lock. Thomas will be a full-time line judge starting this summer.
Chris Paul wants to know how she'll run down the field with all of her lady parts and keep up with the middle-aged male officials?
Thomas, married with three children, became a finalist for an NFL job in 2013, was a finalist again last year, and this year, with eight new officials being hired, was finally one of the new officials elevated.
Peter should ask Sarah Thomas how she plans on balancing her work life with the time she wants to dedicate to her children and whether she is trying to "have it all." He's asking veterans how many people they killed, so he may as well go full heel in his line of questioning.
The line judge is on the line of scrimmage near the sideline, opposite the head linesman. The line judge is the backup timekeeper, works with the linesman on offside and encroachment calls, and, once the ball is snapped, follows the closest slot back or flanker to that side downfield seven yards.
Well, that's just great. Women can never be on time for anything, but the NFL is going to hire a woman to be the backup timekeeper? This will never work. Besides, how is Sarah Thomas going to follow a flanker while wearing heels? WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA TO HIRE A WOMAN FOR A MAN'S JOB! How many people has she killed?
When she has worked, she stuffs her blonde ponytail under her hat and looks like any other official.
Thanks for pointing out what Sarah Thomas does with her hair during the game. If you had not brought it up, I would have been concerned Thomas would have been too focused on making sure her ponytail is straight as opposed to officiating the NFL game. I'm really glad Peter pointed out what Thomas does with her hair. I was deeply concerned she would try to bring a full-length mirror on the field in the middle of the game to make sure her hair looks good, just like any woman would do.
When she worked a Cleveland Browns practice in 2012, several players said they didn’t notice anything different about the line judge until it was pointed out that the line judge was a woman. If that happens on the field this year, Thomas—and the NFL—will be very happy.
She better keep that blonde ponytail tucked up under her hat or else the players may get distracted by her feminine wiles.
PFF has some good information on the draftable players. Such as:
Overrated? A sure-fire top-five pick, USC defensive tackle Leonard Williams, was underproductive in obvious passing situations. On third-and-long he produced only eight pressures (two hits, six hurries) on 94 pass rushes. That earned a Pass-Rush Productivity number of 6.4, well below the class average for interior defensive linemen of 7.6.
I don't know if this means Leonard is overrated or that teams doubled him in obvious passing situations. That's a possibility too.
Baylor quarterback Bryce Petty has a good deep arm. Petty completed 34 of 95 passes on balls thrown at least 20 yards downfield. They went for 1,472 yards, 20 touchdowns and one interception. The 20 touchdowns led all FBS quarterbacks on such deep throws, while the yardage total was second-highest.
Uh-oh, Bryce Petty is the new Tom Savage. Next thing we know, Peter King will be writing a MMQB about how Petty is the hot new quarterback in the draft because he has so many individual workouts lined up and because Petty's agent will do a great job of pretending his client is going to be drafted 1-2 rounds before any logical GM would draft him.
This is anecdotal evidence, but I wonder how many of these deep balls were thrown to receivers who were wide open as compared to thrown to receivers who were being covered and there was a tight window to throw into? I only ask because I feel like every time I saw a highlight of Baylor scoring a touchdown the ball was being thrown to a wide open receiver due to the Baylor offensive scheme being so good. Again, it's anecdotal evidence.
“We found out there was a bar called the Cricket Inn, or the Cricket, which was a popular bar there at Oklahoma State. Our [scout] would sit there for a week. He sat there for one week, went in every day at 3 o’clock and stayed till 11 o’clock at night. That was his job. And we checked: How many times did Justin Blackmon come in? And he came in too many times. And we took him off our board.”
—Former Tampa Bay GM Mark Dominik, on why the Bucs took Justin Blackmon off their draft board in 2012.
Too bad the Jaguars didn’t have a spy in the Cricket in 2012.
While this sounds slightly creepy and a little bit smart, the Buccaneers did draft Mark Barron with the 7th pick in the draft. So before marveling at how much research the Buccaneers did, I don't want to forget they took Blackmon off the draft board and then screwed up their first round pick anyway.
“It’s just like the Michael Sam situation. If he wasn’t gay, he would have gone undrafted. Instead, the league drafts him because I think they are trying to monopolize every aspect of the world. The same thing with a female ref. For the league, it’s great publicity. The NFL is all about monopolizing every opportunity.”
—Jacksonville defensive tackle Sen’Derrick Marks, to TMZ, about the NFL’s hiring of Sarah Thomas as the first full-time female game official.
It certainly sounds like the NFL is ready for a woman ref. Though I'm not sure how the NFL really got great publicity from Michael Sam getting drafted, other than it got the NFL in the news on the third day of the draft when the NFL would probably be in the news anyway.
Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady and Defensive Player of the Year J.J. Watt finished the 2014 season at the top of their respective games, Brady leading two fourth-quarter touchdown drives to win the Super Bowl over Seattle and Watt compiling one of the best defensive seasons a player has ever had.
Combined, their 2015 salary-cap number is $27.97 million. Brady’s is $14 million, Watt’s $13.97 million.
How the two NFL stars’ 2015 compensation compares to some dynamic baseball duos:
| Matt Harrison/Jhonny Peralta | $28.20 million |
| Miguel Montero/Curtis Granderson | $28.00 million |
| Tom Brady/J.J. Watt | $27.97 million |
| Trevor Cahill/John Danks | $27.95 million |
| Jayson Werth/Eric O’Flaherty | $27.85 million |
A few things here:
1. One sport has a salary cap and the other sport does not have a salary cap. While this may be a part of Peter's point, it's fairly obvious that a sport with a salary cap is going to have lower contract numbers for the players than a sport without a salary cap would have. It's so obvious that it doesn't really merit a comparison like this. Maybe it's more interesting than I give it credit for.
2. Peter has chosen players from baseball who are generally overpaid. How about he chooses a few baseball players that don't fit the narrative he wants to push? Baseball and football have differently salary structures. For the first 6 seasons of a baseball player's career he could end up playing for a fraction of his real worth. So Peter is choosing only the expensive underachieving/overpaid baseball players that fit his narrative. Still, baseball players make more than football players. That's not news.
3. How about Peter compares the salaries of some overpaid NFL players to MLB players that don't make quite what they are worth? How about Peter's boy Josh McCown who has a cap hit of $8.65 million from the Buccaneers and Browns. Matt Schaub has a cap hit of $2 million. That's $10.65 million for two backup quarterbacks and Mike Trout and Garrett Richards are only making $9.283 million this year!
How about Michael Johnson, who is making $9.6 million this year for the Buccaneers and Bengals? Anthony Collins is making $3 million this year. Neither of them are even on the Buccaneers team anymore. Meanwhile, the Rays are paying Evan Longoria and Alex Cobb $15 million this year.
Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week
Readers of this column know how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general. But there are some times, way too often, that stupid little things go bad on a trip, and for those who don’t love train travel the way I do, I wonder if little events like this make people say, “I’m better off driving.”
By writing "how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general" Peter means "how much I love train travel when everything goes perfectly but then I bitch about any inconvenience in train travel in the most public way possible once something goes wrong."
Thursday evening, Amtrak regional train heading north to Penn Station in New York … Train pulls out of Newark for the nine-minute ride to New York City. It took 47 minutes. It inched, stopped, inched, rode for a minute, inched, stopped, stayed stopped, inched, etc. No explanation. I’ll get on the train again, many times. A bunch of the grumblers, well, I’m not sure. Things like that happen far too often on those regional trains.
It sounds like the police should have gotten involved. This is a crime of historic proportions. I'm just glad Peter King is here to tell his audience that, in fact, public transportation is not always reliable.
Ten Things I Think I Think
1. I think the most stunning piece of news from the last few days, other than Sarah Thomas’s hiring, was Chris Mortensen’s report that the Browns had basically moved on from Johnny Manziel. The way he described it on ESPN was that, when the offensive staff was putting together the offseason program, “Manziel’s name barely even came up in conversation.” I can tell you this: Mortensen is 100 percent accurate here. In fact, when the quarterbacks have been discussed this offseason in-house, Josh McCown is the dominant talking point, and then Thad Lewis, signed last month as a free agent. Then comes Manziel and Connor Shaw.
After one season they give up on him I see. Why not?
2. I think the moral of this story is this: Manziel has done too much damage to his reputation with owner Jimmy Haslam, GM Ray Farmer and coach Mike Pettine to be taken seriously in Cleveland when he returns to the team, which is likely to be in the next week or so.
Which, by the way, Manziel's reputation won't mean shit if he comes back to Browns' camp and starts playing really well. That is the key to Browns management not giving a crap about a reputation, just start to play well. Winning cures all.
3. I think I am dubious that Manziel going to rehab was his idea.
I think I'm wondering why Peter King uses three separate numbers to discuss the exact same topic (Johnny Manziel) when these three points could all be discussed under #1. Peter does this all the time and it annoys the nitpicker in me.
All three points are about Johnny Manziel, his reputation and his future in Cleveland. Yet, for some reason, Peter believes they require three separate points rather than have these points all come under point #1.
7. I think I’ll believe the new and improved Josh Freeman—who signed with the Dolphins after being out of football last year—when I see it.
Peter can't resist getting a shot at Josh Freeman in when he sees that Freeman might get a chance to play in the NFL. I will never understand what Peter King has against Josh Freeman. All I can guess is that Freeman helped get Peter King's friend Greg Schiano fired in Tampa Bay and that's why he doesn't like Josh Freeman. In terms of NFL players who have been overpaid by an NFL team, Freeman isn't in the Top 20 of NFL players over the last two years. Matt Schaub made something like $8 million last year to be the backup to Derek Carr and Josh McCown made $4.75 million to help the Buccaneers get the #1 overall draft pick in this year's draft through his shitty play. Still, Peter will go to bat for McCown and talk about what a great teacher he is for other quarterbacks. But Josh Freeman sucked for the Vikings and made $2 million in the process, which is a felony that Peter King won't ever let Freeman live down. I wonder why.
Josh Freeman is a good dude, a good player, and glad he's getting another chance.
— mike freeman (@mikefreemanNFL) April 2, 2015
Either the Freeman family is sticking up for each other (they aren't related in reality) or not everyone in the NFL hates Josh Freeman with the vigor and ferocity that Peter King does.
9. I think this Chicago headline means absolutely nothing to me: “Football autographed by Cutler gets no bids at charity event.” I just don’t care that a reviled player tries to do something nice for someone, or for some charity, and doesn’t get the football bought by anyone. I understand it suggests the community doesn’t like him, but we needed fans to pass on a signed football in a charity auction to know that? I don’t think so.
Peter doesn't need to know fans passed on buying a signed Jay Cutler football in order to know Bears fans don't like him, but Peter feels it is vitally important to point out what a waste of human flesh Josh Freeman is every opportunity he can get. Freeman was out of football last year, does it merit a mention that he'll have to prove he can play quarterback at an NFL level any more than a Jay Cutler signed football not being bought proves Bears fans aren't happy with Cutler?
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
e. Mike Krzyzewski was hired to coach Duke on March 18, 1980—six days after I was hired to cover Xavier basketball and the Reds for the Cincinnati Enquirer. What a long strange trip it’s been.
And when I think of Coach K, my thoughts immediately go to the parallel that he and Peter King were hired within days of each other. Two lofty and haughty men, entering their business at the same time. Wait, Coach K went to Army. Why doesn't Peter King ask him how many people he killed?
f. I want to like Duke tonight. But I say Wisconsin on a Frank the Tank putback in the closing seconds.
It's your opinion. If you want to like Duke, you can literally do that if you want to.
j. Barry Zito outrighted to Triple-A by the A’s. I am officially not just old, but ancient.
Barry Zito is 36 years old and he isn't even close to being one of the oldest players who will be optioned to Triple-A by a major league team over the past/next few years. Why does this make Peter King feel old? Peter confuses me.
l. Coffeenerdness: Memo to Starbucks: If you want to see an assembly line of efficiency at an incredibly busy store, go to your place at Penn Station in Manhattan during morning rush hour.
Yes, every Starbucks employee in the New York area should go to the Penn Station Starbucks during the morning rush so that Peter's favorite Starbucks will be closed during this time and Peter can bitch about how not every Starbucks employee should have been away at the same time. If this did happen then it would really test the ability of the Penn Station Starbucks to handle a rush, once a thousand people all show up at the same time.
I did a quick count when I walked at about 7:45 Thursday morning. Forty-eight people, either in line or waiting for their drink. I was out with my coffee at 7:53. Three great baristas, working cheerfully, efficiently. My flat white was perfect. Not sure what the moral of the story is, other than you’ve got some really good people at that store.
I'm not sure how Peter King manages to find the time to balance his busy writing career and being the Quality Assurance Manager for every hotel/Starbucks/retail facility in the United States, but he does an impressive job of making sure everyone else is working as hard as he thinks they should be.
The Adieu Haiku
Day 73.
Ted Wells still studying Pats.
I mean, come on now.
This very well could have just been a sentence in the things that Peter thinks he thinks. This "Adieu Haiku" must go. It's purposeless and it hasn't even killed anyone recently.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
7 comments MMQB Review: Peter King Thinks "JFF" Stands for "Johnny F--king Failure"
Don't ask why I curse all the time in my posts but won't curse in my titles. I don't know.
Peter King wondered last week if J.J. Watt could be the NFL MVP since he plays defense AND is on a team that may not make the playoffs. Everyone knows if you play defense on a losing team there is no way you can be the most valuable player in the NFL. It's impossible. Peter also started what I am assuming will be at least monthly assault on Jadeveon Clowney for underperforming during his rookie season due to injuries, though I don't recall Peter going at Luke Joeckel for playing in only five games in his rookie season with the Jaguars. This week Peter talks about how the type of dramatic, unpredictable football games can only happen in the NFL, talks about the winners and losers from this past week, and haughtily recommends the best wine under $25. It's funny, 97% of the wine purchased is for $10 or less and Peter recommends the best wine under $25, like that's the cheap wine that he wants to recommend to his readers. Ah yes, how the other half lives.
The Season That Went Too Fast
A Pro Football Book in Twenty-One Chapters
Chapter Fifteen
“Only in AMERICA!” Don King used to bellow, and some story about a long-shot palooka who toiled his way from Loserville to Las Vegas and into a championship fight would spill out of King’s mouth, the drama making it Must-Pay TV. Or so the legendary boxing promoter hoped.
Every single season football writers talk about what a WILD AND CRAZY SEASON THIS HAS BEEN, as if this doesn't happen every season. The NFL is unpredictable and every season is crazy in it's own way. Talking about how this season is an "Only in the NFL!" season is pretty standard. Craziness and unpredictability is the standard. So I do wish sportswriters would stop being surprised when unexpected things happen.
Weren’t we all thinking a few days ago that the road to the Super Bowl in the NFC would lead through Green Bay?
Nope. I had Seattle and Philadelphia as the two best teams in the NFC during the preseason and wasn't moving from that simply because a new and shiny team caught my attention. Life is really very simple when not making knee-jerk reactions.
I asked a friend of mine who gambles a lot: If Seattle and Green Bay met in the playoffs, with neither team changing appreciably between now and then, what would be the difference in the spread if the game were played at CenturyLink Field in Seattle versus Lambeau Field in Green Bay. He thought for a minute, then said: “Packers by five at Lambeau. Seahawks by seven in Seattle.”
I don't gamble, but that spread in Seattle seems high, even knowing the Seahawks beat the Packers handily at home in the first game of the season.
And this is why every chapter in The Season That Went Too Fast has some Grisham in it,
By "some Grisham" Peter means "going to bat for pedophiles who like child porn"?
some element you never, ever expected:
Every NFL season has an element "we" would never expect. Every season.
Buffalo 21, Green Bay 13. Marcus Thigpen and Bacarri Rambo, men no one in Wisconsin had heard of at noon Sunday, playing the big roles in sending the Packers trudging back to the Tundra.
Considering Thigpen went to Indiana University, I think fans in Wisconsin probably have heard of him. But of course, if the great Peter King hasn't heard of these players then obviously no one else has either.
Seattle 17, San Francisco 7. Which figured. So now it could be setting up for the playoff road to go through Seattle.
Predictability would be different.
Only in the NFL!
Let's marvel every NFL season at how unpredictable the NFL season is!
Week 15 winners
Detroit. Another day, another dogfight for a confusing offense, another win (Lions 16, Vikes 14). The Lions have been held under 275 yards four times in the past 10 games. But they’ve survived, and they’ll be in the playoffs with two more wins.
I bashed the Lions' hiring of Jim Caldwell and I really don't know if I'm wrong. Next season at this time I think I will know if I'm wrong or not. Two seasons under Caldwell should be a decent way of determining if I was wrong about him. Considering the Lions haven't been an offensive juggernaut this year at times, I feel pretty good about my initial feeling on Caldwell. Of course, he does have meals with his players, so that counts for something.
Dallas. Imagine if the Cowboys lost at Philadelphia.
I can't imagine this. The results are too terrible for the human mind to wrap itself around.
The loser of the NFC East showdown for first place would face a serious chance of not making the playoffs. Jerry Jones hasn’t re-signed coach Jason Garrett yet, and with Indianapolis and Andrew Luck coming to town this week, finishing 10-6 and out of the playoffs would have been a real possibility. (It’s still no lock Dallas will make it, because finishing tied with Philadelphia at 11-5 would give the division to the Eagles on the basis of Philadelphia’s better division record.) It’s highly likely Garrett will continue—Jones loves him and thinks he’s got the perfect temperament to be the long-term coach—but another crushing loss in a division title game for the fourth year in a row would have left ownership grasping for answers. Would Jones have considered a run at a Sean Payton or a John Harbaugh?
Sean Payton, yes? John Harbaugh? I'm pretty sure the Ravens aren't letting Harbaugh go after the season. Though if Peter has heard there will be shakeups on the Ravens' roster, and much like he thought they wouldn't re-sign Joe Flacco two years ago, this leads him to think the Ravens will get rid of John Harbaugh.
Now Jim Harbaugh? Yes, do it. I want to see Jerry Jones work with Jim Harbaugh. This has to happen.
Doubtful, but the 38-27 win, Garrett’s biggest in his five-year tenure,
Not that Peter is being knee-jerk of course.
The AFC North. “This is the craziest division I have ever seen,” Terrell Suggs said from Baltimore Sunday.
(Bengoodfella dies of hyperbole-related symptoms)
Carolina. Derek Anderson is 2-0 against Tampa Bay this year, and that’s what has Carolina in first place in the NFC South at 5-8-1.
Skinniest kids at fat camp, people! In your face rest of the NFC South!
New Orleans re-takes first in the moribund division with a win at Chicago tonight (hardly the surest thing),
And they did.
Who will quarterback Carolina against Cleveland at home, then in the finale at Atlanta?
I DON'T KNOW! I CAN'T HANDLE THE DRAMA!
There are two options, either Cam Newton or Derek Anderson, but who knows what will happen? The NFL is SO unpredictable. It could be Steve Beuerlein! The point is, Peter doesn't know right now! It's too early to tell.
Marcus Mariota. The Jets won, meaning he doesn’t have to think of going to the vortex of pain and tabloid embarrassment that has eaten alive so many young quarterbacks. And the Bucs lost, meaning Tampa Bay is number one in line for Mariota, the Heisman winner and by far safest quarterback prospect.
Peter King, NFL Draft Scout M.D.
No one is saying it’s a cinch, but Tampa Bay—with two very good receivers, a good young tight end, a smart front office and a stay-the-course coach in Lovie Smith—gives a young quarterback as good a chance as anywhere to be able to reach his potential.
Greg Schiano would have had the Buccaneers in the Super Bowl this season if it weren't for that meddling Josh Freeman who screwed everything up.
Week 15 Losers
Green Bay. One ugly afternoon took the Packers from the two seed in the NFC to six. And it won’t be easy to get back up there. Wins in the next two games would do it, but beating Detroit at home in Week 17 means beating the team that has beaten you by 30 and 12 in your last two meetings. That last game could leave Green Bay battered, without a bye and on the road for the playoffs.
Which is the exact road they used to win the Super Bowl several years ago. Wait, am I not supposed to talk about real life and instead go into a panic about what terrible shape the Packers could be in? Gotcha.
THE PACKERS LOST! HOW WILL THEY EVER RECOVER? WHAT IF THEY HAVE TO GO ON THE ROAD IN THE PLAYOFFS? THEY'LL NEVER WIN A SUPER BOWL THAT WAY! EVERYBODY STAY CALM AND PANIC!
It's like Peter can't remember what happened just a few short years ago. Sure, the Packers want homefield advantage, but it's not like they haven't won a Super Bowl by winning on the road in the playoffs.
In all likelihood, Green Bay making the Super Bowl now depends on winning the last two and then winning at an unfriendly place like Seattle or Arizona for all the NFC marbles.
They have Aaron Rodgers. I'm not worried.
Joe Philbin. His Dolphins collapsed down the stretch last year, scoring seven points total in season-ending losses to the Bills and Jets. This year Miami has lost three of the last four, including Sunday’s no-show 41-13 loss at New England that gave the Patriots the AFC East title, again. Miami’s playoff hopes are on life support at 7-7, a month after being in the hunt at 6-4. Now the drumbeat will grow louder that owner Stephen Ross will go hard
That's disgusting Peter. This is a family column.
after Jim Harbaugh again, and is there any doubt he’d pay the compensation to San Francisco to get Harbaugh?
Oh, nevermind. Much like Peter shouldn't make knee-jerk reactions after one game, I should finish the sentence that Peter has written.
Hey, since the Cowboys may go after John Harbaugh, perhaps the Dolphins should give him a look-see too. Or the Dolphins could just go after the one that got away a few years ago, Jeff Fisher.
Johnny Manziel and hope in Cleveland. All along, Manziel held out the prospect of the big surprise, the quarterback to ride in on the steed to save the franchise. Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, “We should have listened to Merril Hoge.”
Manziel may be terrible, but give the guy more than one start to prove it. Geez, what's with the knee-jerk reactions and overreactions in MMQB over this past year? Maybe Peter always wrote like this and I just forgot, but he's got a severe case of overreacting this season. A team has a good/bad game and Peter either puts that team in the Super Bowl or as receiving a Top 10 pick. Give Manziel another few starts and an entire another offseason of work in the Browns' offense.
Pettine was heartbroken, which I am sure mirrored the emotion of his city. It’s another wait-till-next-year situation in Cleveland, and a cautionary tale for Manziel: Get to work. Nothing is going to be handed to you. Become a student of the game. It’s too early to write Manziel off. (Really? One game is too soon?)
Peter, you say one game is too early to write Manziel off, but you also just wrote "Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, 'We should have listened to Merril Hoge.'" Manziel may be terrible, but one game isn't going to be the determination and saying "hope" in Cleveland is the loser in this situation is beginning to write Manziel off too early.
There will at least be a Manning-Brady XVII.
Oh thank God. I can put off jumping into a volcano for another year because I have something to live for now.
The Seattle Effect. “It’ll be interesting to see how Philadelphia comes out of the Seattle game physically,’’ said one Dallas Cowboy last week, before his team’s trip to Philadelphia for the Sunday night game. This player remembered how physically spent the Cowboys were after playing Settle earlier in the year,
I need an editor here, STAT!
The Eagles are the eighth team in a row to lose the week after playing Seattle; Philadelphia, San Francisco, Arizona, Kansas City, the New York Giants, Oakland, Carolina and St. Louis all lost the week after playing the Seahawks.
Gregg Easterbrook is totally stealing this fact for the next TMQ.
Why players want to play for Bruce Arians. The Arizona coach said this to Ryan Lindley, the backup to the backup, when No. 2 quarterback Drew Stanton went down with a knee injury Thursday night at St. Louis: “I trust you. Don’t be a game manager. Be a game winner.” Lindley didn’t play particularly well—he completed four of 10 passes in the 12-6 Arizona win—but a win’s a win,
Which is what is said when a team wins a game despite having shitty quarterback play. Yes, I'm still hating on the Cardinals' quarterback situation. Sportswriters always have to have a narrative or reason handy for why a team won and when they have no idea (it was the Cardinals' defense) they just chalk it up to nothing. A win is a win and let's give credit for Ryan Lindley for not fucking it up.
With Stanton likely out for this week and two or three more with strained knee ligaments, the Cardinals seem likely to go with Lindley, and maybe with a package of plays for the rookie quarterback who is more mobile, Logan Thomas. “We’ll figure something out,’’ said Arians. “We’ll just keep on swinging, scratching out points.” Worked pretty well so far.
But can the Cardinals win a Super Bowl with Ryan Lindley and Logan Thomas? That's all I want to know. Someone ask Bruce Arians this question.
Not a great week for the top candidates, but I’m not changing much from last week—just subbing Andrew Luck for DeMarco Murray.
1. Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay. First mulligan since Week 3 at Detroit. I’m sticking with the best player in football as the most valuable.
2. J.J. Watt, DE, Houston. Now with 16.5 sacks, five in the past two weeks. Just unstoppable.
J.J. Watt will never be #1 in Peter's MVP standings. Even after last week when Peter tried to lay out a reason why Watt could win MVP, Peter lacks the intestinal fortitude to actually put Watt as his MVP. It's a bold cowardice. He gives Watt a ribbon by putting him #2, but I'll be shocked, shocked, shocked if Watt ever ends up #1 by the end of the season in Peter's MVP rankings. You know what, the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl with Drew Stanton as their quarterback before Peter King has J.J. Watt as his MVP.
Chris Harris Jr.: The Player You Need to Know This Week
Harris, who quietly has become one of the best cornerbacks in football, signed a five-year, $42.5-million contract with the Broncos late Friday,
Thank God I have been alerted to Chris Harris Jr. this week. I personally don't know any NFL players until Peter acknowledges their existence to me.
What makes the contract, and Harris’ play this season, all the more impressive is that eight months before opening day this fall, he wrecked his knee. In the divisional playoff game against San Diego, Harris tore the ACL in his left knee. Amazingly, 31 weeks after the Feb. 6 surgery, he suited up and played 39 of 76 snaps in the Denver season-opener. By October, he was an every-down player again.
It's amazing how medical advances have helped the human body recover so quickly from ACL tears isn't it? I say this with the slightest bit of sarcasm along with absolute zero knowledge of medicine and whether it is possible for the human body to recover from an injury in 8 months that used to take 12 months to recover from.
Getting a young cover corner for his prime seasons, and having him locked up through 2019 is a smart move by Elway. For Harris, a veteran of one knee surgery already, he gets less than he could have gotten had he ever hit the market in March … but he gets to play without worry of injury the rest of this year, and he gets to stay in Denver, where the defense fits him.
Coming off an ACL surgery, I would personally have taken the contract. Maybe I'm not bold enough, but after having rehabbed a major knee injury, I think I'd want to get paid now just in case it happens again.
Four points to make in the wake of the new Personal Conduct Policy, the denial of the Adrian Peterson appeal, the future of football in Los Angeles, and the relationship between the players and owners:
The league hopes to hire what it is calling a special counsel for investigations and conduct to lord over the process of this new personal conduct policy. This person, likely a former judge, former prosecutor or former top law-enforcement official, will have a staff to judge early on whether a player should be taken off the field while an investigation is happening. But the process will still be fraught with difficulty. There will be false accusations, stale accusations, accusations not made that should have been made because of threats against spouses or partners. What happens during the season when a potentially serious accusation is made, and the special counsel has to decide if the player should be taken off the field immediately or allowed to play in a game that week?
It's a decent point from Peter. I think this special counsel will just err on the side of caution and remove the player from the field. These are the types of things that happen when over-correction occurs. Goodell wants to prove he cares, so he sets up a labyrinth system of checks to make sure players don't play while being accused of a crime as proof of his caring. All he's doing is taking the burden off him and placing it on someone else. That's my view.
I think Adrian Peterson should have been reinstated. When the arbitrator in the Peterson case, Harold Henderson, issued his ruling upholding Peterson’s ban Friday, a few things were given short shrift. Before this season, the suspension for domestic or family violence was never longer than two games and most often a fine or one game. Peterson is 29 years old. He will miss at least 15 games (with most of them treated as paid leave), and those are games he can never get back. He’s not like a 29-year-old teacher who can miss three months and get right back to teaching.
Yes, poor Adrian Peterson. How's he expected to make enough money to survive if he can't play football? I get that Peterson's penalty is probably too severe, but to compare Peterson to a teacher like he doesn't have enough money earned over his career to retire right now is just typical Peter King-type thinking. Yes, a teacher can get right back to teaching, but Adrian Peterson has to work hard and maybe he'll catch on with an NFL team. If this doesn't happen then he'll just go about his life with enough money to go about his life and not have to worry about working. You know, the exact opposite of what would happen to a 29 year old teacher.
It strikes me as excessive. Now: Peterson didn’t do himself any favors. He should have pled his case in the appeals process if he truly wanted to play this year. I still don’t understand why he didn’t.
Probably the same reason he beat the shit out of his kid with a switch after suffering the death of a child from a beating last season.
Regarding Los Angeles… “There’s a schism about what to do in Los Angeles,’’ said one source with knowledge of L.A. effort. “The big issue is not only whether it should be one or two teams, and where the team or teams will be, but also which franchise should get the first shot? There is sentiment that [Rams owner] Stan Kroenke shouldn’t have the first shot. The Raiders are in horrible shape. The Chargers have a terrible stadium. In St. Louis, the city is trying at least to find a solution.”
I think there should be a television show where these three teams compete to play in Los Angeles. They can each argue about how badly they are being treated by their respective cities and then a winner will be chosen by the viewing public. I like how because the Raiders are in terrible shape, this means they should get one of the first shots at playing in Los Angeles.
THE FINE FIFTEEN
1. New England (11-3). Dominating performance puts them first. Winners of nine of 10, with the narrow loss at Green Bay the only blemish. Sign of a Ridiculously Good Franchise Dept.: The Patriots won their 11th AFC East title in the past 12 seasons on Sunday.
Is the Patriot Way still working? Once the Patriots lose another football game or in the playoffs, I can't wait for this question to get asked once again.
3. Green Bay (10-4). Not to rain on the Super Bowl parade or anything, but that was the first grim performance by Aaron Rodgers in, like, forever.
So, like, that obviously means it's a sign of things to come and not an anomaly, right? Aaron Rodgers had a grim performance so that must mean the rest of his performances will be equally as grim this season. Logically.
At all. Green Bay at Tampa Bay on Sunday. Rodgers has played there twice, in 2008 and 2009. Lost twice. Completed 50 percent of his throws in the two games, with four touchdowns and six picks, and a 54.6 rating at the Pirate Ship.
And I'm sure it's the stadium and not the team that was the issue for Rodgers when he played there five and six seasons ago. Because the Buccaneers current defense directly resembles the defense they had in 2008 and 2009.
7. Detroit (10-4). Another touchdown catch for Golden Tate in the 16-14 win over Minnesota. Tate has been a total surprise. He’s going to end up with 100 receptions. (He has 91 now.) Imagine this: Tate has more catches per game, on average (6.5), than Calvin Johnson (5.6)—and that accounts for Johnson missing three games with injury. Divide Johnson’s 61 catches by 11, and Tate’s 91 catches by 14, and Tate’s been more productive per game.
Thank you for teaching your readers how to do basic division in order to get an average, Peter. God knows most of America would be lost if you weren't here to provide statistics and then explain how you arrived at those statistics. I know I read that Tate had more catches per game than Johnson on average and was all like, "HOW ON EARTH DID THIS NUMBERS WIZARD MAKE THESE MEANINGFUL STATISTICS POPULATE AS IF OUT OF THIN AIR?" Then Peter explained how to divide and it made complete sense to me.
9. Philadelphia (9-5). Bradley Cooper sure looked sad sitting in Jeffrey Lurie’s box, his beloved Philadelphia Silverliningplaybooks down 21-7 to the Cowboys in the second quarter. Cooper was dancing in the second half, but Mark Sanchez just couldn’t make enough plays to win this one.
Am I reading "US Weekly for Teens" now?
"Bradley Cooper was sad because the Eagles were losing. Spies for 'US Weekly for Teens' say that Cooper danced at one point during the game, but Hayden Panettiere's ex-boyfriend just couldn't pull the Eagles through and keep Cooper dancing. Observers said that Cooper looked to be having a good time and took pictures with fans."
10. Cincinnati (9-4-1). No idea how I rate the Bengals two slots higher than Pittsburgh, which beat Cincinnati by 21 in Ohio last week. It’s just about a week-to-week coin flip right now.
Peter King's Fine Fifteen rankings everyone! They mean nothing, but Peter still feels the need to write them every week. This column isn't going to bloat itself you know.
14. Kansas City (8-6). Broke a three-game skid with a rout of the Raiders. One of the strangest stats in recent history—a team can be 8-6 in this era of football with no touchdowns caught by a wideout—has surprisingly not crippled the Chiefs, though Dwayne Bowe’s ho-hum season is a major surprise.
Bowe's ho-hum season is a surprise with a quarterback who can't throw a touchdown to a receiver as the one tossing him the pigskin? Otherwise, is Bowe's season a surprise? He hasn't exceeded 1,000 yards receiving since 2011.
Coaches of the Week
Bruce Arians, head coach, Arizona. Not to make these awards a clean Cardinal sweep, but to have the Arizona Cardinals tied for the best record in the NFL after 15 weeks, with Drew Stanton and Ryan Lindley playing quarterback, and hanging in to beat a St. Louis team that had won the previous two games by shutout … well, you can see why Arians is so revered inside the Cardinals’ building and outside the building by a growing legion of fans.
Coach of the Year should be Arians' for the taking. Of course I have to piss on this win a little bit. The Cardinals only had 274 yards of offense and the Rams didn't exactly light up the scoreboard either. Six of the points the Cardinals scored were the result of a fumble by the Rams and a 36-yard pass interference call that put the Cardinals right in field goal range. I'm not taking anything away from them, but the Cardinals had to settle for field goals all night. I'm very worried about them in the playoffs if they don't score touchdowns.
My point is that the Cardinals are averaging 12.8 points and 289 yards per game (If I were Peter King, I would explain to you how I got an average) in the five games since Carson Palmer went down for the season. The 289 yards per game would put the Cardinals at 31st in the NFL in total offense, just above the Raiders, and 12.8 points per game would put them 32nd in the NFL in scoring per game. That's not going to win a Super Bowl, especially with a banged-up defense. Arians deserves Coach of the Year, but the Cardinals are in deep shit if they can't muster up more offense.
Goat of the Week
Johnny Manziel, quarterback, Cleveland.
I'm not going to defend Manziel's performance, but this seems a little unfair. It was his first start in the NFL and he went against a reasonably good Bengals defense. Calling him a "goat" seems like the type of knee-jerk conclusion that Peter warns his readers against reaching.
First time in memory I had Goat of the Week locked at 2:23 p.m. Eastern Time.
Remember this is the same guy who wrote it was too early to write Manziel off. It took Peter less than an hour and a half into the Week 15 games to decide who the "Goat of the Week" will be.
This game showed many things, among them that Manziel had better start spending a lot more time studying his craft. The entire game had the feel of fool’s gold, with the Browns, for the moment, feeling fooled by Manziel in his first NFL start. He was 10 of 18 for 80 yards, with no touchdowns and two picks, a 27.3 rating … with just 13 yards rushing on five scrambles. An awful opener for the 22nd pick in the 2014 draft.
Of course if the Browns had won the game then "a win is a win" and Manziel would be praised for doing something right. It doesn't matter really. It was one game and there is a reason the Browns didn't have Manziel start the season at quarterback.
For the Baltimore Ravens to be 9-5 this morning, and for the franchise to be in position to win its third AFC North title in four years, is a pretty amazing thing, considering 17 of the 22 starters from the team that won the Super Bowl 22 months ago are new.
I'm still laughing at the "changes" being alluded to by the Ravens organization after winning the Super Bowl which Peter took to believe the Ravens may not be interested in re-signing Joe Flacco. I think everyone except Peter knew this meant the team would part ways with older players and start over at several positions on the roster. But now, Peter is all like, "LOOK AT HOW THE RAVENS TURNED THEIR ROSTER OVER!" as if this weren't the plan the Ravens had all along. Kudos to the Ravens for making it work so far, but I still chuckle a bit at Peter's misunderstanding of what these changes and difficult decisions really meant.
The Ravens saw a chance with the retirement of veterans like Ray Lewis and the pending free agency of Ed Reed to remake the team. They have done a really good job so far. But still, I chuckle at what Peter thought the remaking of the Ravens' roster meant.
I don't know why Peter felt this should be considered a "Tweet of the Week." It doesn't make sense, because Rambo is a fictional ex-Vietnam vet who killed people in movies trying to save others, while Bacarri Rambo is a football player. It just doesn't make sense AND seems to lack a little funny.
TEN THINGS I THINK I THINK
1. I think this is what I liked about Week 15:
b. Detroit safety Glover Quin, the Pro Bowl protester, with a vital interception of Teddy Bridgewater.
c. And a beautiful interception by Darius Slay, also off Bridgewater.
Mike Mayock was right! Teddy Bridgewater just absolutely sucks.
f. Eight sacks by the Ravens. Timmy Jernigan, Pernell McPhee … you have officially been introduced to America.
Yep, I knew who they were prior to this introduction when they were attending Mississippi State and Florida State. But now that Peter has mentioned them and helped introduce them to America, I guess they officially now exist.
s. Josh McCown making it a game, late, in Carolina.
I don't understand what this means. Tampa Bay scored 10 points in the first half and 7 in the second half. I guess that Peter likes how Josh McCown ran the final drive of the game for the Buccaneers when Carolina was happy to watch the Buccaneers eat clock up while trying to score. If anything, Peter should like McCown's scrambling ability for the touchdown. Maybe THAT is what Peter is referring to here.
2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 15:
a. Johnny Football.
You don't say? Why hasn't Peter mentioned this in MMQB before now?
i. For his talent, Andrew Luck makes some dumb throws.
Skip Bayless wants to know why Peter King is putting Andrew Luck in the Hall of Fame already? Because one time in a bowl game, Brandon Weeden played as well as Andrew Luck did. So there's that and it definitely means something.
Nobody is supposed to talk about Andrew Luck making dumb throws. It's against the rules, plus he has 38 touchdown passes this year, so that sort of overshadows the bad throws.
l. Here’s the deal, Bucs: You put either the entire throwback uniform on, or the modern one. You can’t mix them. Orange socks do not go with a red and white uniform.
Peter King, Fashion Maven M.D.
3. I think I have a difficult question for you in the Bay Area to answer this morning: Which 36th overall pick in the draft would you rather build your franchise around: Colin Kaepernick (2011) or Derek Carr (2014)? I think there would have been no question about that in August. Slam dunk. But with Kaepernick’s maturation as a player put in serious questions this season, now it’s a contest.
I wonder how Ron Jaworski feels about Colin Kaepernick now? I'm not sure I wouldn't choose Kaepernick to be the quarterback I build the franchise around. I will have to see more about David Carr. That's the fun part about questions like this. They can change from year-to-year...or month-to-month as the case may be with Peter.
4. I think when we hear about knee surgeries, we just assume that players go in and have the surgery done and in seven or eight months they’ll be as good as new...As concerning, or more so, is the microfracture surgery for Houston rookie pass-rusher Jadeveon Clowney. Microfracture is no slam-dunk, especially for a speed rusher.
I'm telling you, Jadeveon Clowney is well on his way to being Josh Freeman'd by Peter King. It's starting already. He's calling Clowney a "speed rusher" and is preparing for him to never be the same again after microfracture surgery.
Indianapolis tackle Gosder Cherilus, who has had the surgery, told the Indianapolis Star of Clowney: “He’s screwed. His game is all about explosion. That’s a problem. I’m out there dancing. I’m an offensive lineman. That’s a different ballgame. He’s screwed. I’m just being honest.” The Texans have to be concerned about whether Clowney can come back to be the same player, regardless what they say publicly.
No Peter, I bet the Texans aren't concerned at all about their top pick needing major knee surgery. They probably are laughing about it right now and making jokes to each other about the situation.
Peter is getting ready for Clowney to be a bust as the #1 overall draft pick. I can feel it in my bones.
9. I think this is why the crown-of-the-helmet-into-Russell Wilson was called Sunday, giving the Seahawks a fresh set of downs at a critical time late in their win over the Niners: Prohibited contact against a defenseless player, which includes a player in the act of passing or just after releasing a pass, came into play on this call. Wilson, in this case, was a defenseless player.
I don't know. The NFL does a lot to protect quarterbacks and I get the point, but sometimes it annoys me. Derek Anderson got a hand to the facemask on Sunday and a penalty was called. He was hit in the face, but it certainly didn't seem like it hurt or put his health in danger. So in the situation Peter is describing, it seemed pretty close to a penalty on the 49ers defender, but it's nearly impossible to tell for sure.
According to strict interpretation of the rules: “Lowering the head and making forcible contact with the top/crown or forehead/”hairline” parts of the helmet against any part of the defenseless player’s body” is illegal. The officials ruled Wilson was struck with the helmet either at the hairline or crown level. It’s close, very close. I watched the replay at least 10 times and it’s hard to tell if the helmet was in the right position or not.
Maybe the NFL should make penalties like this reviewable since it had an impact on the game. Hell, just make everything reviewable.
10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:
g. Re the SONY hack: I have changed my email password six times in the last week. And I believe it doesn’t matter.
Wouldn't it be fun to read emails that are leaked from Peter King's inbox? I'm sure there is some haughty and uppity shit that he leaves out of MMQB, but he shared with friends and family. I imagine Peter has some email screeds about people who take too long to order at Starbucks or wonder why everyone slows down to look at Christmas lights. Those leaked emails would be interesting to read. I wonder how many he gets from Brett Favre in a given month?
h. Really bright to skip your team’s fan festival, Bryce Harper, because of a contract dispute. That scores lots of points with fans.
Welp, he got a two year contract extension and they love him again.
i. The Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year event last Tuesday was memorable.
Naming Madison Bumgarner "Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year" is a very "Sports Illustrated" thing for them to do.
k. Coffeenerdness: Here’s what I don’t get when I bring my reusable grande cup into Starbucks and ask for a triple grande macchiato:
Seriously, imagine the shit that Peter King writes which he doesn't share with the general public. It probably makes inconsequential bitching like what you are about to read look like a major conflict that must immediately be resolved.
Most baristas take a small cup, brew the three shots of espresso, pour them on top of the foamed milk, then throw the little cup away. Not using the normal espresso shot glasses sort of defeats the purpose of using the same grande cup over and over, right?
Yes, it might defeat the purpose. Wouldn't the barista have to constantly wash the espresso shot glasses over and over after using them though? Wouldn't this require wasting water to do AND it could also cause there to be a backup during peak times because Starbucks doesn't have a hundred espresso shot glasses they can use for this purpose?
I think Peter should take this issue up with Starbucks. I'm sure they will put it at the top of their priority list.
l. Beernerdness: Don’t have a new beer for you this week, but I will throw in my vote for the best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon out there: Simi Alexander Valley Cab.
The best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon, huh? It's for those middle class people who read Peter's column that may not want to spend more than $25 on a bottle of wine. After all, Peter hears that some people in the United States have a budget they stick to, so they have to go for the cheaper wines, like something under $25.
I simply love that Peter recommends a wine under $25. I can't figure out if he thinks that this is a "budget" wine or what. Seriously, 97% of the wine sold is under $10 and Peter is giving tips for $25-and-under wines. I'm not sure when the last time he lived in the real world was.
o. Perfect metaphor for the New York Mets: While much of the rest of baseball made mega moves at the winter meetings last week, the Mets signed a platoon outfielder (maybe) who batted .212 for Toronto and Philadelphia last year, John Mayberry.
Remember the big moves the Royals and Giants made last year prior to and during the winter meetings? Oh, you don't? It's probably because this isn't the best way to determine which team will have success during the upcoming season.
p. Re the Red Sox: I have tremendous respect for Jon Lester, and gratitude for what he has done for the franchise. But I’m very much on board with not paying a pitcher who will be 31 in January $26 million a year for six years … I do not support paying Cole Hamels $22 million a year for the next five years plus the surrender of two prime prospects … I’d wait for a Johnny Cueto type in free agency next year, when the pitching crop will be richer, or at the trading deadline this year
How much money does Peter think Johnny Cueto is going to try and get in free agency? He'll be 29 years old when he signs his next contract and he's made 30+ career starts in five of his seven seasons, plus statistically he's only improving. How much money does Peter think Cueto is going to fetch if he has another season like his 2014 season? I'm guessing he's going to try and get somewhere around $22 million per year.
Who I Like Tonight
Chicago 24, New Orleans 20. Though I have no idea why.
Thanks for contributing.
The Adieu Haiku
Aaron Kromer blabs. Cutler forgives. So he says.
Forget? No way, Jay.
Why should Cutler forget? Sure, the Bears may regret that contract extension, but to have his offensive coordinator be the source for this report? That's bullshit and something close to career suicide. Fortunately for Kromer, it happened to Jay Cutler so the media isn't going to go to bat for him. If this happens to a more well-liked quarterback you can bet it would be more than a footnote in Peter's Adieu Haiku. Peter would go all-in on Kromer if he was the source bashing a quarterback that Peter and the media really likes.
Peter King wondered last week if J.J. Watt could be the NFL MVP since he plays defense AND is on a team that may not make the playoffs. Everyone knows if you play defense on a losing team there is no way you can be the most valuable player in the NFL. It's impossible. Peter also started what I am assuming will be at least monthly assault on Jadeveon Clowney for underperforming during his rookie season due to injuries, though I don't recall Peter going at Luke Joeckel for playing in only five games in his rookie season with the Jaguars. This week Peter talks about how the type of dramatic, unpredictable football games can only happen in the NFL, talks about the winners and losers from this past week, and haughtily recommends the best wine under $25. It's funny, 97% of the wine purchased is for $10 or less and Peter recommends the best wine under $25, like that's the cheap wine that he wants to recommend to his readers. Ah yes, how the other half lives.
The Season That Went Too Fast
A Pro Football Book in Twenty-One Chapters
Chapter Fifteen
“Only in AMERICA!” Don King used to bellow, and some story about a long-shot palooka who toiled his way from Loserville to Las Vegas and into a championship fight would spill out of King’s mouth, the drama making it Must-Pay TV. Or so the legendary boxing promoter hoped.
Every single season football writers talk about what a WILD AND CRAZY SEASON THIS HAS BEEN, as if this doesn't happen every season. The NFL is unpredictable and every season is crazy in it's own way. Talking about how this season is an "Only in the NFL!" season is pretty standard. Craziness and unpredictability is the standard. So I do wish sportswriters would stop being surprised when unexpected things happen.
Weren’t we all thinking a few days ago that the road to the Super Bowl in the NFC would lead through Green Bay?
Nope. I had Seattle and Philadelphia as the two best teams in the NFC during the preseason and wasn't moving from that simply because a new and shiny team caught my attention. Life is really very simple when not making knee-jerk reactions.
I asked a friend of mine who gambles a lot: If Seattle and Green Bay met in the playoffs, with neither team changing appreciably between now and then, what would be the difference in the spread if the game were played at CenturyLink Field in Seattle versus Lambeau Field in Green Bay. He thought for a minute, then said: “Packers by five at Lambeau. Seahawks by seven in Seattle.”
I don't gamble, but that spread in Seattle seems high, even knowing the Seahawks beat the Packers handily at home in the first game of the season.
And this is why every chapter in The Season That Went Too Fast has some Grisham in it,
By "some Grisham" Peter means "going to bat for pedophiles who like child porn"?
some element you never, ever expected:
Every NFL season has an element "we" would never expect. Every season.
Buffalo 21, Green Bay 13. Marcus Thigpen and Bacarri Rambo, men no one in Wisconsin had heard of at noon Sunday, playing the big roles in sending the Packers trudging back to the Tundra.
Considering Thigpen went to Indiana University, I think fans in Wisconsin probably have heard of him. But of course, if the great Peter King hasn't heard of these players then obviously no one else has either.
Seattle 17, San Francisco 7. Which figured. So now it could be setting up for the playoff road to go through Seattle.
Predictability would be different.
Only in the NFL!
Let's marvel every NFL season at how unpredictable the NFL season is!
Week 15 winners
Detroit. Another day, another dogfight for a confusing offense, another win (Lions 16, Vikes 14). The Lions have been held under 275 yards four times in the past 10 games. But they’ve survived, and they’ll be in the playoffs with two more wins.
I bashed the Lions' hiring of Jim Caldwell and I really don't know if I'm wrong. Next season at this time I think I will know if I'm wrong or not. Two seasons under Caldwell should be a decent way of determining if I was wrong about him. Considering the Lions haven't been an offensive juggernaut this year at times, I feel pretty good about my initial feeling on Caldwell. Of course, he does have meals with his players, so that counts for something.
Dallas. Imagine if the Cowboys lost at Philadelphia.
I can't imagine this. The results are too terrible for the human mind to wrap itself around.
The loser of the NFC East showdown for first place would face a serious chance of not making the playoffs. Jerry Jones hasn’t re-signed coach Jason Garrett yet, and with Indianapolis and Andrew Luck coming to town this week, finishing 10-6 and out of the playoffs would have been a real possibility. (It’s still no lock Dallas will make it, because finishing tied with Philadelphia at 11-5 would give the division to the Eagles on the basis of Philadelphia’s better division record.) It’s highly likely Garrett will continue—Jones loves him and thinks he’s got the perfect temperament to be the long-term coach—but another crushing loss in a division title game for the fourth year in a row would have left ownership grasping for answers. Would Jones have considered a run at a Sean Payton or a John Harbaugh?
Sean Payton, yes? John Harbaugh? I'm pretty sure the Ravens aren't letting Harbaugh go after the season. Though if Peter has heard there will be shakeups on the Ravens' roster, and much like he thought they wouldn't re-sign Joe Flacco two years ago, this leads him to think the Ravens will get rid of John Harbaugh.
Now Jim Harbaugh? Yes, do it. I want to see Jerry Jones work with Jim Harbaugh. This has to happen.
Doubtful, but the 38-27 win, Garrett’s biggest in his five-year tenure,
Not that Peter is being knee-jerk of course.
The AFC North. “This is the craziest division I have ever seen,” Terrell Suggs said from Baltimore Sunday.
(Bengoodfella dies of hyperbole-related symptoms)
Carolina. Derek Anderson is 2-0 against Tampa Bay this year, and that’s what has Carolina in first place in the NFC South at 5-8-1.
Skinniest kids at fat camp, people! In your face rest of the NFC South!
New Orleans re-takes first in the moribund division with a win at Chicago tonight (hardly the surest thing),
And they did.
Who will quarterback Carolina against Cleveland at home, then in the finale at Atlanta?
I DON'T KNOW! I CAN'T HANDLE THE DRAMA!
There are two options, either Cam Newton or Derek Anderson, but who knows what will happen? The NFL is SO unpredictable. It could be Steve Beuerlein! The point is, Peter doesn't know right now! It's too early to tell.
Marcus Mariota. The Jets won, meaning he doesn’t have to think of going to the vortex of pain and tabloid embarrassment that has eaten alive so many young quarterbacks. And the Bucs lost, meaning Tampa Bay is number one in line for Mariota, the Heisman winner and by far safest quarterback prospect.
Peter King, NFL Draft Scout M.D.
No one is saying it’s a cinch, but Tampa Bay—with two very good receivers, a good young tight end, a smart front office and a stay-the-course coach in Lovie Smith—gives a young quarterback as good a chance as anywhere to be able to reach his potential.
Greg Schiano would have had the Buccaneers in the Super Bowl this season if it weren't for that meddling Josh Freeman who screwed everything up.
Week 15 Losers
Green Bay. One ugly afternoon took the Packers from the two seed in the NFC to six. And it won’t be easy to get back up there. Wins in the next two games would do it, but beating Detroit at home in Week 17 means beating the team that has beaten you by 30 and 12 in your last two meetings. That last game could leave Green Bay battered, without a bye and on the road for the playoffs.
Which is the exact road they used to win the Super Bowl several years ago. Wait, am I not supposed to talk about real life and instead go into a panic about what terrible shape the Packers could be in? Gotcha.
THE PACKERS LOST! HOW WILL THEY EVER RECOVER? WHAT IF THEY HAVE TO GO ON THE ROAD IN THE PLAYOFFS? THEY'LL NEVER WIN A SUPER BOWL THAT WAY! EVERYBODY STAY CALM AND PANIC!
It's like Peter can't remember what happened just a few short years ago. Sure, the Packers want homefield advantage, but it's not like they haven't won a Super Bowl by winning on the road in the playoffs.
In all likelihood, Green Bay making the Super Bowl now depends on winning the last two and then winning at an unfriendly place like Seattle or Arizona for all the NFC marbles.
They have Aaron Rodgers. I'm not worried.
Joe Philbin. His Dolphins collapsed down the stretch last year, scoring seven points total in season-ending losses to the Bills and Jets. This year Miami has lost three of the last four, including Sunday’s no-show 41-13 loss at New England that gave the Patriots the AFC East title, again. Miami’s playoff hopes are on life support at 7-7, a month after being in the hunt at 6-4. Now the drumbeat will grow louder that owner Stephen Ross will go hard
That's disgusting Peter. This is a family column.
after Jim Harbaugh again, and is there any doubt he’d pay the compensation to San Francisco to get Harbaugh?
Oh, nevermind. Much like Peter shouldn't make knee-jerk reactions after one game, I should finish the sentence that Peter has written.
Hey, since the Cowboys may go after John Harbaugh, perhaps the Dolphins should give him a look-see too. Or the Dolphins could just go after the one that got away a few years ago, Jeff Fisher.
Johnny Manziel and hope in Cleveland. All along, Manziel held out the prospect of the big surprise, the quarterback to ride in on the steed to save the franchise. Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, “We should have listened to Merril Hoge.”
Manziel may be terrible, but give the guy more than one start to prove it. Geez, what's with the knee-jerk reactions and overreactions in MMQB over this past year? Maybe Peter always wrote like this and I just forgot, but he's got a severe case of overreacting this season. A team has a good/bad game and Peter either puts that team in the Super Bowl or as receiving a Top 10 pick. Give Manziel another few starts and an entire another offseason of work in the Browns' offense.
Pettine was heartbroken, which I am sure mirrored the emotion of his city. It’s another wait-till-next-year situation in Cleveland, and a cautionary tale for Manziel: Get to work. Nothing is going to be handed to you. Become a student of the game. It’s too early to write Manziel off. (Really? One game is too soon?)
Peter, you say one game is too early to write Manziel off, but you also just wrote "Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, 'We should have listened to Merril Hoge.'" Manziel may be terrible, but one game isn't going to be the determination and saying "hope" in Cleveland is the loser in this situation is beginning to write Manziel off too early.
There will at least be a Manning-Brady XVII.
Oh thank God. I can put off jumping into a volcano for another year because I have something to live for now.
The Seattle Effect. “It’ll be interesting to see how Philadelphia comes out of the Seattle game physically,’’ said one Dallas Cowboy last week, before his team’s trip to Philadelphia for the Sunday night game. This player remembered how physically spent the Cowboys were after playing Settle earlier in the year,
I need an editor here, STAT!
The Eagles are the eighth team in a row to lose the week after playing Seattle; Philadelphia, San Francisco, Arizona, Kansas City, the New York Giants, Oakland, Carolina and St. Louis all lost the week after playing the Seahawks.
Gregg Easterbrook is totally stealing this fact for the next TMQ.
Why players want to play for Bruce Arians. The Arizona coach said this to Ryan Lindley, the backup to the backup, when No. 2 quarterback Drew Stanton went down with a knee injury Thursday night at St. Louis: “I trust you. Don’t be a game manager. Be a game winner.” Lindley didn’t play particularly well—he completed four of 10 passes in the 12-6 Arizona win—but a win’s a win,
Which is what is said when a team wins a game despite having shitty quarterback play. Yes, I'm still hating on the Cardinals' quarterback situation. Sportswriters always have to have a narrative or reason handy for why a team won and when they have no idea (it was the Cardinals' defense) they just chalk it up to nothing. A win is a win and let's give credit for Ryan Lindley for not fucking it up.
With Stanton likely out for this week and two or three more with strained knee ligaments, the Cardinals seem likely to go with Lindley, and maybe with a package of plays for the rookie quarterback who is more mobile, Logan Thomas. “We’ll figure something out,’’ said Arians. “We’ll just keep on swinging, scratching out points.” Worked pretty well so far.
But can the Cardinals win a Super Bowl with Ryan Lindley and Logan Thomas? That's all I want to know. Someone ask Bruce Arians this question.
Not a great week for the top candidates, but I’m not changing much from last week—just subbing Andrew Luck for DeMarco Murray.
1. Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay. First mulligan since Week 3 at Detroit. I’m sticking with the best player in football as the most valuable.
2. J.J. Watt, DE, Houston. Now with 16.5 sacks, five in the past two weeks. Just unstoppable.
J.J. Watt will never be #1 in Peter's MVP standings. Even after last week when Peter tried to lay out a reason why Watt could win MVP, Peter lacks the intestinal fortitude to actually put Watt as his MVP. It's a bold cowardice. He gives Watt a ribbon by putting him #2, but I'll be shocked, shocked, shocked if Watt ever ends up #1 by the end of the season in Peter's MVP rankings. You know what, the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl with Drew Stanton as their quarterback before Peter King has J.J. Watt as his MVP.
Chris Harris Jr.: The Player You Need to Know This Week
Harris, who quietly has become one of the best cornerbacks in football, signed a five-year, $42.5-million contract with the Broncos late Friday,
Thank God I have been alerted to Chris Harris Jr. this week. I personally don't know any NFL players until Peter acknowledges their existence to me.
| Year | LCB | RCB | Slot CB | Safety | Total snaps | Pro Football Focus CB rank |
| 2011 | 41 | 14 | 463 | 54 | 572 | 19 |
| 2012 | 137 | 149 | 610 | 121 | 1,017 | 4 |
| 2013 | 252 | 80 | 642 | 112 | 1,086 | 10 |
| 2014 | 24 | 439 | 309 | 61 | 833 | 1 |
| TOTAL | 454 | 682 | 2,024 | 348 | 3,508 | 2 |
What makes the contract, and Harris’ play this season, all the more impressive is that eight months before opening day this fall, he wrecked his knee. In the divisional playoff game against San Diego, Harris tore the ACL in his left knee. Amazingly, 31 weeks after the Feb. 6 surgery, he suited up and played 39 of 76 snaps in the Denver season-opener. By October, he was an every-down player again.
It's amazing how medical advances have helped the human body recover so quickly from ACL tears isn't it? I say this with the slightest bit of sarcasm along with absolute zero knowledge of medicine and whether it is possible for the human body to recover from an injury in 8 months that used to take 12 months to recover from.
Getting a young cover corner for his prime seasons, and having him locked up through 2019 is a smart move by Elway. For Harris, a veteran of one knee surgery already, he gets less than he could have gotten had he ever hit the market in March … but he gets to play without worry of injury the rest of this year, and he gets to stay in Denver, where the defense fits him.
Coming off an ACL surgery, I would personally have taken the contract. Maybe I'm not bold enough, but after having rehabbed a major knee injury, I think I'd want to get paid now just in case it happens again.
Four points to make in the wake of the new Personal Conduct Policy, the denial of the Adrian Peterson appeal, the future of football in Los Angeles, and the relationship between the players and owners:
The league hopes to hire what it is calling a special counsel for investigations and conduct to lord over the process of this new personal conduct policy. This person, likely a former judge, former prosecutor or former top law-enforcement official, will have a staff to judge early on whether a player should be taken off the field while an investigation is happening. But the process will still be fraught with difficulty. There will be false accusations, stale accusations, accusations not made that should have been made because of threats against spouses or partners. What happens during the season when a potentially serious accusation is made, and the special counsel has to decide if the player should be taken off the field immediately or allowed to play in a game that week?
It's a decent point from Peter. I think this special counsel will just err on the side of caution and remove the player from the field. These are the types of things that happen when over-correction occurs. Goodell wants to prove he cares, so he sets up a labyrinth system of checks to make sure players don't play while being accused of a crime as proof of his caring. All he's doing is taking the burden off him and placing it on someone else. That's my view.
I think Adrian Peterson should have been reinstated. When the arbitrator in the Peterson case, Harold Henderson, issued his ruling upholding Peterson’s ban Friday, a few things were given short shrift. Before this season, the suspension for domestic or family violence was never longer than two games and most often a fine or one game. Peterson is 29 years old. He will miss at least 15 games (with most of them treated as paid leave), and those are games he can never get back. He’s not like a 29-year-old teacher who can miss three months and get right back to teaching.
Yes, poor Adrian Peterson. How's he expected to make enough money to survive if he can't play football? I get that Peterson's penalty is probably too severe, but to compare Peterson to a teacher like he doesn't have enough money earned over his career to retire right now is just typical Peter King-type thinking. Yes, a teacher can get right back to teaching, but Adrian Peterson has to work hard and maybe he'll catch on with an NFL team. If this doesn't happen then he'll just go about his life with enough money to go about his life and not have to worry about working. You know, the exact opposite of what would happen to a 29 year old teacher.
It strikes me as excessive. Now: Peterson didn’t do himself any favors. He should have pled his case in the appeals process if he truly wanted to play this year. I still don’t understand why he didn’t.
Probably the same reason he beat the shit out of his kid with a switch after suffering the death of a child from a beating last season.
Regarding Los Angeles… “There’s a schism about what to do in Los Angeles,’’ said one source with knowledge of L.A. effort. “The big issue is not only whether it should be one or two teams, and where the team or teams will be, but also which franchise should get the first shot? There is sentiment that [Rams owner] Stan Kroenke shouldn’t have the first shot. The Raiders are in horrible shape. The Chargers have a terrible stadium. In St. Louis, the city is trying at least to find a solution.”
I think there should be a television show where these three teams compete to play in Los Angeles. They can each argue about how badly they are being treated by their respective cities and then a winner will be chosen by the viewing public. I like how because the Raiders are in terrible shape, this means they should get one of the first shots at playing in Los Angeles.
THE FINE FIFTEEN
1. New England (11-3). Dominating performance puts them first. Winners of nine of 10, with the narrow loss at Green Bay the only blemish. Sign of a Ridiculously Good Franchise Dept.: The Patriots won their 11th AFC East title in the past 12 seasons on Sunday.
Is the Patriot Way still working? Once the Patriots lose another football game or in the playoffs, I can't wait for this question to get asked once again.
3. Green Bay (10-4). Not to rain on the Super Bowl parade or anything, but that was the first grim performance by Aaron Rodgers in, like, forever.
So, like, that obviously means it's a sign of things to come and not an anomaly, right? Aaron Rodgers had a grim performance so that must mean the rest of his performances will be equally as grim this season. Logically.
At all. Green Bay at Tampa Bay on Sunday. Rodgers has played there twice, in 2008 and 2009. Lost twice. Completed 50 percent of his throws in the two games, with four touchdowns and six picks, and a 54.6 rating at the Pirate Ship.
And I'm sure it's the stadium and not the team that was the issue for Rodgers when he played there five and six seasons ago. Because the Buccaneers current defense directly resembles the defense they had in 2008 and 2009.
7. Detroit (10-4). Another touchdown catch for Golden Tate in the 16-14 win over Minnesota. Tate has been a total surprise. He’s going to end up with 100 receptions. (He has 91 now.) Imagine this: Tate has more catches per game, on average (6.5), than Calvin Johnson (5.6)—and that accounts for Johnson missing three games with injury. Divide Johnson’s 61 catches by 11, and Tate’s 91 catches by 14, and Tate’s been more productive per game.
Thank you for teaching your readers how to do basic division in order to get an average, Peter. God knows most of America would be lost if you weren't here to provide statistics and then explain how you arrived at those statistics. I know I read that Tate had more catches per game than Johnson on average and was all like, "HOW ON EARTH DID THIS NUMBERS WIZARD MAKE THESE MEANINGFUL STATISTICS POPULATE AS IF OUT OF THIN AIR?" Then Peter explained how to divide and it made complete sense to me.
9. Philadelphia (9-5). Bradley Cooper sure looked sad sitting in Jeffrey Lurie’s box, his beloved Philadelphia Silverliningplaybooks down 21-7 to the Cowboys in the second quarter. Cooper was dancing in the second half, but Mark Sanchez just couldn’t make enough plays to win this one.
Am I reading "US Weekly for Teens" now?
"Bradley Cooper was sad because the Eagles were losing. Spies for 'US Weekly for Teens' say that Cooper danced at one point during the game, but Hayden Panettiere's ex-boyfriend just couldn't pull the Eagles through and keep Cooper dancing. Observers said that Cooper looked to be having a good time and took pictures with fans."
10. Cincinnati (9-4-1). No idea how I rate the Bengals two slots higher than Pittsburgh, which beat Cincinnati by 21 in Ohio last week. It’s just about a week-to-week coin flip right now.
Peter King's Fine Fifteen rankings everyone! They mean nothing, but Peter still feels the need to write them every week. This column isn't going to bloat itself you know.
14. Kansas City (8-6). Broke a three-game skid with a rout of the Raiders. One of the strangest stats in recent history—a team can be 8-6 in this era of football with no touchdowns caught by a wideout—has surprisingly not crippled the Chiefs, though Dwayne Bowe’s ho-hum season is a major surprise.
Bowe's ho-hum season is a surprise with a quarterback who can't throw a touchdown to a receiver as the one tossing him the pigskin? Otherwise, is Bowe's season a surprise? He hasn't exceeded 1,000 yards receiving since 2011.
Coaches of the Week
Bruce Arians, head coach, Arizona. Not to make these awards a clean Cardinal sweep, but to have the Arizona Cardinals tied for the best record in the NFL after 15 weeks, with Drew Stanton and Ryan Lindley playing quarterback, and hanging in to beat a St. Louis team that had won the previous two games by shutout … well, you can see why Arians is so revered inside the Cardinals’ building and outside the building by a growing legion of fans.
Coach of the Year should be Arians' for the taking. Of course I have to piss on this win a little bit. The Cardinals only had 274 yards of offense and the Rams didn't exactly light up the scoreboard either. Six of the points the Cardinals scored were the result of a fumble by the Rams and a 36-yard pass interference call that put the Cardinals right in field goal range. I'm not taking anything away from them, but the Cardinals had to settle for field goals all night. I'm very worried about them in the playoffs if they don't score touchdowns.
My point is that the Cardinals are averaging 12.8 points and 289 yards per game (If I were Peter King, I would explain to you how I got an average) in the five games since Carson Palmer went down for the season. The 289 yards per game would put the Cardinals at 31st in the NFL in total offense, just above the Raiders, and 12.8 points per game would put them 32nd in the NFL in scoring per game. That's not going to win a Super Bowl, especially with a banged-up defense. Arians deserves Coach of the Year, but the Cardinals are in deep shit if they can't muster up more offense.
Goat of the Week
Johnny Manziel, quarterback, Cleveland.
I'm not going to defend Manziel's performance, but this seems a little unfair. It was his first start in the NFL and he went against a reasonably good Bengals defense. Calling him a "goat" seems like the type of knee-jerk conclusion that Peter warns his readers against reaching.
First time in memory I had Goat of the Week locked at 2:23 p.m. Eastern Time.
Remember this is the same guy who wrote it was too early to write Manziel off. It took Peter less than an hour and a half into the Week 15 games to decide who the "Goat of the Week" will be.
This game showed many things, among them that Manziel had better start spending a lot more time studying his craft. The entire game had the feel of fool’s gold, with the Browns, for the moment, feeling fooled by Manziel in his first NFL start. He was 10 of 18 for 80 yards, with no touchdowns and two picks, a 27.3 rating … with just 13 yards rushing on five scrambles. An awful opener for the 22nd pick in the 2014 draft.
Of course if the Browns had won the game then "a win is a win" and Manziel would be praised for doing something right. It doesn't matter really. It was one game and there is a reason the Browns didn't have Manziel start the season at quarterback.
For the Baltimore Ravens to be 9-5 this morning, and for the franchise to be in position to win its third AFC North title in four years, is a pretty amazing thing, considering 17 of the 22 starters from the team that won the Super Bowl 22 months ago are new.
I'm still laughing at the "changes" being alluded to by the Ravens organization after winning the Super Bowl which Peter took to believe the Ravens may not be interested in re-signing Joe Flacco. I think everyone except Peter knew this meant the team would part ways with older players and start over at several positions on the roster. But now, Peter is all like, "LOOK AT HOW THE RAVENS TURNED THEIR ROSTER OVER!" as if this weren't the plan the Ravens had all along. Kudos to the Ravens for making it work so far, but I still chuckle a bit at Peter's misunderstanding of what these changes and difficult decisions really meant.
| Super Bowl XLVII Starters | 2014 Week 14 Starters | |
| OFFENSE | ||
| Torrey Smith | WR | Torrey Smith |
| Anquan Boldin | WR | Marlon Brown |
| Jacoby Jones | WR | Steve Smith |
| Bryant McKinnie | T | Eugene Monroe |
| Kelechi Osemele | G | Kelechi Osemele |
| Matt Birk | C | Jeremy Zuttah |
| Marshal Yanda | G | Marshal Yanda |
| Michael Oher | T | Rick Wagner |
| Joe Flacco | QB | Joe Flacco |
| Ray Rice | RB | Justin Forsett |
| Vonta Leach | FB/TE | Owen Daniels |
| DEFENSE | ||
| Terrell Suggs | Rusher | Terrell Suggs |
| Haloti Ngata | DL | Elvis Dumervil |
| Arthur Jones | DL | Chris Canty |
| Ma’ake Kemoeatu | DL | Brandon Williams |
| Dannell Ellerbe | LB | C.J. Mosley |
| Ray Lewis | LB | Daryl Smith |
| Courtney Upshaw | LB/S | Jeromy Miles |
| Corey Graham | CB | Asa Jackson |
| Cary Williams | CB | Lardarius Webb |
| Ed Reed | FS | Will Hill |
| Bernard Pollard | SS | Matt Elam |
The Ravens saw a chance with the retirement of veterans like Ray Lewis and the pending free agency of Ed Reed to remake the team. They have done a really good job so far. But still, I chuckle at what Peter thought the remaking of the Ravens' roster meant.
Rambo has out-Ramboed Rambo
— Sam Farmer (@LATimesfarmer) December 14, 2014
I don't know why Peter felt this should be considered a "Tweet of the Week." It doesn't make sense, because Rambo is a fictional ex-Vietnam vet who killed people in movies trying to save others, while Bacarri Rambo is a football player. It just doesn't make sense AND seems to lack a little funny.
TEN THINGS I THINK I THINK
1. I think this is what I liked about Week 15:
b. Detroit safety Glover Quin, the Pro Bowl protester, with a vital interception of Teddy Bridgewater.
c. And a beautiful interception by Darius Slay, also off Bridgewater.
Mike Mayock was right! Teddy Bridgewater just absolutely sucks.
f. Eight sacks by the Ravens. Timmy Jernigan, Pernell McPhee … you have officially been introduced to America.
Yep, I knew who they were prior to this introduction when they were attending Mississippi State and Florida State. But now that Peter has mentioned them and helped introduce them to America, I guess they officially now exist.
s. Josh McCown making it a game, late, in Carolina.
I don't understand what this means. Tampa Bay scored 10 points in the first half and 7 in the second half. I guess that Peter likes how Josh McCown ran the final drive of the game for the Buccaneers when Carolina was happy to watch the Buccaneers eat clock up while trying to score. If anything, Peter should like McCown's scrambling ability for the touchdown. Maybe THAT is what Peter is referring to here.
2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 15:
a. Johnny Football.
You don't say? Why hasn't Peter mentioned this in MMQB before now?
i. For his talent, Andrew Luck makes some dumb throws.
Skip Bayless wants to know why Peter King is putting Andrew Luck in the Hall of Fame already? Because one time in a bowl game, Brandon Weeden played as well as Andrew Luck did. So there's that and it definitely means something.
Nobody is supposed to talk about Andrew Luck making dumb throws. It's against the rules, plus he has 38 touchdown passes this year, so that sort of overshadows the bad throws.
l. Here’s the deal, Bucs: You put either the entire throwback uniform on, or the modern one. You can’t mix them. Orange socks do not go with a red and white uniform.
Peter King, Fashion Maven M.D.
3. I think I have a difficult question for you in the Bay Area to answer this morning: Which 36th overall pick in the draft would you rather build your franchise around: Colin Kaepernick (2011) or Derek Carr (2014)? I think there would have been no question about that in August. Slam dunk. But with Kaepernick’s maturation as a player put in serious questions this season, now it’s a contest.
I wonder how Ron Jaworski feels about Colin Kaepernick now? I'm not sure I wouldn't choose Kaepernick to be the quarterback I build the franchise around. I will have to see more about David Carr. That's the fun part about questions like this. They can change from year-to-year...or month-to-month as the case may be with Peter.
4. I think when we hear about knee surgeries, we just assume that players go in and have the surgery done and in seven or eight months they’ll be as good as new...As concerning, or more so, is the microfracture surgery for Houston rookie pass-rusher Jadeveon Clowney. Microfracture is no slam-dunk, especially for a speed rusher.
I'm telling you, Jadeveon Clowney is well on his way to being Josh Freeman'd by Peter King. It's starting already. He's calling Clowney a "speed rusher" and is preparing for him to never be the same again after microfracture surgery.
Indianapolis tackle Gosder Cherilus, who has had the surgery, told the Indianapolis Star of Clowney: “He’s screwed. His game is all about explosion. That’s a problem. I’m out there dancing. I’m an offensive lineman. That’s a different ballgame. He’s screwed. I’m just being honest.” The Texans have to be concerned about whether Clowney can come back to be the same player, regardless what they say publicly.
No Peter, I bet the Texans aren't concerned at all about their top pick needing major knee surgery. They probably are laughing about it right now and making jokes to each other about the situation.
Peter is getting ready for Clowney to be a bust as the #1 overall draft pick. I can feel it in my bones.
9. I think this is why the crown-of-the-helmet-into-Russell Wilson was called Sunday, giving the Seahawks a fresh set of downs at a critical time late in their win over the Niners: Prohibited contact against a defenseless player, which includes a player in the act of passing or just after releasing a pass, came into play on this call. Wilson, in this case, was a defenseless player.
I don't know. The NFL does a lot to protect quarterbacks and I get the point, but sometimes it annoys me. Derek Anderson got a hand to the facemask on Sunday and a penalty was called. He was hit in the face, but it certainly didn't seem like it hurt or put his health in danger. So in the situation Peter is describing, it seemed pretty close to a penalty on the 49ers defender, but it's nearly impossible to tell for sure.
According to strict interpretation of the rules: “Lowering the head and making forcible contact with the top/crown or forehead/”hairline” parts of the helmet against any part of the defenseless player’s body” is illegal. The officials ruled Wilson was struck with the helmet either at the hairline or crown level. It’s close, very close. I watched the replay at least 10 times and it’s hard to tell if the helmet was in the right position or not.
Maybe the NFL should make penalties like this reviewable since it had an impact on the game. Hell, just make everything reviewable.
10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:
g. Re the SONY hack: I have changed my email password six times in the last week. And I believe it doesn’t matter.
Wouldn't it be fun to read emails that are leaked from Peter King's inbox? I'm sure there is some haughty and uppity shit that he leaves out of MMQB, but he shared with friends and family. I imagine Peter has some email screeds about people who take too long to order at Starbucks or wonder why everyone slows down to look at Christmas lights. Those leaked emails would be interesting to read. I wonder how many he gets from Brett Favre in a given month?
h. Really bright to skip your team’s fan festival, Bryce Harper, because of a contract dispute. That scores lots of points with fans.
Welp, he got a two year contract extension and they love him again.
i. The Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year event last Tuesday was memorable.
Naming Madison Bumgarner "Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year" is a very "Sports Illustrated" thing for them to do.
k. Coffeenerdness: Here’s what I don’t get when I bring my reusable grande cup into Starbucks and ask for a triple grande macchiato:
Seriously, imagine the shit that Peter King writes which he doesn't share with the general public. It probably makes inconsequential bitching like what you are about to read look like a major conflict that must immediately be resolved.
Most baristas take a small cup, brew the three shots of espresso, pour them on top of the foamed milk, then throw the little cup away. Not using the normal espresso shot glasses sort of defeats the purpose of using the same grande cup over and over, right?
Yes, it might defeat the purpose. Wouldn't the barista have to constantly wash the espresso shot glasses over and over after using them though? Wouldn't this require wasting water to do AND it could also cause there to be a backup during peak times because Starbucks doesn't have a hundred espresso shot glasses they can use for this purpose?
I think Peter should take this issue up with Starbucks. I'm sure they will put it at the top of their priority list.
l. Beernerdness: Don’t have a new beer for you this week, but I will throw in my vote for the best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon out there: Simi Alexander Valley Cab.
The best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon, huh? It's for those middle class people who read Peter's column that may not want to spend more than $25 on a bottle of wine. After all, Peter hears that some people in the United States have a budget they stick to, so they have to go for the cheaper wines, like something under $25.
I simply love that Peter recommends a wine under $25. I can't figure out if he thinks that this is a "budget" wine or what. Seriously, 97% of the wine sold is under $10 and Peter is giving tips for $25-and-under wines. I'm not sure when the last time he lived in the real world was.
o. Perfect metaphor for the New York Mets: While much of the rest of baseball made mega moves at the winter meetings last week, the Mets signed a platoon outfielder (maybe) who batted .212 for Toronto and Philadelphia last year, John Mayberry.
Remember the big moves the Royals and Giants made last year prior to and during the winter meetings? Oh, you don't? It's probably because this isn't the best way to determine which team will have success during the upcoming season.
p. Re the Red Sox: I have tremendous respect for Jon Lester, and gratitude for what he has done for the franchise. But I’m very much on board with not paying a pitcher who will be 31 in January $26 million a year for six years … I do not support paying Cole Hamels $22 million a year for the next five years plus the surrender of two prime prospects … I’d wait for a Johnny Cueto type in free agency next year, when the pitching crop will be richer, or at the trading deadline this year
How much money does Peter think Johnny Cueto is going to try and get in free agency? He'll be 29 years old when he signs his next contract and he's made 30+ career starts in five of his seven seasons, plus statistically he's only improving. How much money does Peter think Cueto is going to fetch if he has another season like his 2014 season? I'm guessing he's going to try and get somewhere around $22 million per year.
Who I Like Tonight
Chicago 24, New Orleans 20. Though I have no idea why.
Thanks for contributing.
The Adieu Haiku
Aaron Kromer blabs. Cutler forgives. So he says.
Forget? No way, Jay.
Why should Cutler forget? Sure, the Bears may regret that contract extension, but to have his offensive coordinator be the source for this report? That's bullshit and something close to career suicide. Fortunately for Kromer, it happened to Jay Cutler so the media isn't going to go to bat for him. If this happens to a more well-liked quarterback you can bet it would be more than a footnote in Peter's Adieu Haiku. Peter would go all-in on Kromer if he was the source bashing a quarterback that Peter and the media really likes.
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