6 comments Scoop Jackson Writes Sentences and I Nod My Head Like I Understand What He Is Writing

Nothing in this world can make me feel whiter than a Scoop Jackson column. He uses words and references that I can't completely understand. Fortunately for me, what I do understand makes even less sense to me from a journalistic standpoint than what I don't understand, so I can mock him. I have noticed a running thread through this week and that thread is this should be called "Nitpick Week" because I have nitpicked articles this week for not making sense and lacking accuracy.

Today Scoop focuses on the plight of Sherron Collins and writes sentences I will try to understand.

If you knew him before this, you'd know he was not supposed to be here.

Perfect opening sentence. It makes just enough sense to where if someone actually managed to understand it they would keep reading and it was vague enough that someone, like me, would read the rest of the article to see how bad the article truly is.

Not here. Not Sherron Collins, the junior point guard and leading scorer of the Kansas Jayhawks.

I already give up. Where the hell is he supposed to be? Vegas? India? Djibouti?

He is a college basketball player, in the NCAA Tournament, on a team that is a #3 seed...where else could he want to be right now?

Because what happened to Collins over the past year is basketball's equivalent of being left for dead.

He has to play in the NBDL? He has to play in Europe somewhere after being drafted with the first pick of the second round?

His team won the 2008 national championship in a game in which he played a key role coming off the bench to contain future No. 1 NBA draft pick Derrick Rose. The fact that Collins is older than Rose and balled with him many times while both were growing up in Chicago, where Collins was an urban legend before Rose, should not be overlooked as a factor that helped Kansas beat Memphis.

Apparently being one of the holdovers from a championship team is "being left for dead."

Actually I would urge everyone to completely overlook being a legend in Chicago as a factor in regard to the fact Kansas beat Memphis. I am looking at the box score and it tells me the fact Mario Chalmers hit a three at the very end of the game to push it into overtime and that Memphis missed 4 out of their last 5 free throw attempts at the end of regulation are much better reasons Kansas beat Memphis. Nowhere in the box score do I see "Urban legend in Chicago" points as counting or even helping to decide the game. Way to just make shit up though Scoop.

Then, all five starters from Collins' team bolted. Eighty percent of the offense was gone, leaving Collins and sophomore center Cole Aldrich to hold down and defend arguably the most cherished crown in basketball.

What's with the weeping and gnashing of teeth for Sherron Collins? Is it because he is from Chicago and Scoop Jackson is from Chicago? Players leave college after winning a National Championship so much in college basketball, it was actually shocking when the starting lineup for the Florida Gators stayed around to defend their title.

What about Memphis? Can't we talk about all that they lost? They lost Derrick Rose, Chris Douglas Roberts, and Joey Dorsey, which if you check out the box score was a good portion of their team and they are now a #1 seed. Granted they did not lose as many players as Kansas but they still had a great year for who they lost.

But if you knew Collins before this, you'd know this is what he wanted. He asked to exist in a world in which every time he steps on a basketball court, someone wants him dethroned.

Sure Scoop. I don't know why I read Scoop's columns. They are always filled with literary drama that just irritates me.

"Bob's been left for dead, but if you knew him, you would know how much he wants the weight of the world on his shoulders....blah, blah, blah."

"Right now, I'm holding down a team," said Collins, who leads the Jayhawks with 18.3 points and 5.0 assists per game. "This is my team. It's been a lot that I've had to go through to get here, but I sacrificed, and [so far] everything is working out in my favor."

There are about 50 other athletes in the tournament that are holding down their team right now. Every team has a leader, someone they count on and if that team loses that player, they are in big trouble. Sherron Collins is Kansas' player but it doesn't make him special overall.

He took a team picked to finish third in the Big 12 to the regular-season conference title.

Predicted to finish third and they finished first? Absolutely amazing two spots jump...and I bet it was all thanks to Sherron Collins!

Nowhere in this article will you hear Scoop Jackson mention the great recruiting class Bill Self brought in as contributing to the miraculous jump from being predicted third in the conference to finishing first. They did have the 12th ranked recruiting class.

He led a group expected to hover near the bottom of the top 25 to a No. 13 ranking going into the NCAA tournament.

Wow! You mean he even took the team and moved it up 10 places in the top 25? What a phenomenal turnaround!

Not to diminish what Sherron Collins or Kansas did this year but they did not exactly get predicted to be a completely horrible team this year. I am going to go on a limb and say if a team is predicted 3rd place in their conference and end up in first place, it is the work of more than one man.

He was a two-sport high school phenom-turned-Chicago Pro-Am summer league basketball legend before he was 18. The streets were supposed to hold him down.

The streets were supposed to hold him down!...but they couldn't. Inspirational.

When Collins was asked point blank whether he thinks he can single-handedly carry Kansas to a national championship, there was a long pause before a very quiet, "I think I can," left his mouth.
Then he said it again.

All by himself dammit! He is going to Danny Manning this Kansas team all the way to the championship game all by himself.

"I think I can. With the help of Cole and the [fact that] young fellas are playing good, yeah.

Actually if you get help from Cole and the young fellas, that doesn't count as "single-handedly carrying Kansas to a championship." I know Sherron Collins is not planning on making a living with his degree (assuming he stays one more year) from Kansas, but even he should know that "single-handedly" does not include other people helping you.

The quietness in his voice is no longer there. Goodbye.

I laughed at this sentence when I read it. The "goodbye" at the end of it is just so climatic and dramatic. Read this sentence out loud and just try not to laugh. I couldn't do it.

It's exactly what a 5-foot-11, 205-pound point guard with power reminiscent of LeBron is supposed in possess in order to do what Collins is about to attempt to achieve.

Everytime I see Sherron Collins I think immediately of LeBron James. There is really no difference in a 5 foot 11, 205 pound point guard and a 6 foot 9, 270 pound PG/SG/SF/PF. Unless you count everything.

To him, it's the anti-impossible.

Or as normal people call it...it's the possible.

It's putting the target on himself even when one might not be there.

So the target is NOT on him as the best player on the team? I thought this entire article was about how he is carrying the load, and then Scoop reveals he is not. Brilliant journalism.

And if you know Sherron Collins, you'd know this is exactly how his life is supposed to be.

Oh my dear God. Scoop began the article saying, "If you knew him before this, you'd know he was not supposed to be here," and ended the article with saying this is EXACTLY how his life is supposed to be. Where the hell does ESPN find columnists who can write such illuminating displays of inconsistent journalism?

This article was the anti-good.

Because no one cares...I am going to share my bracket with everyone now and everyone can mock my stupidity. I will give very brief explanations periodically for why I picked who I picked.

Midwest

1st round

Louisville over Morehead State
Ohio State over Siena
Utah over Arizona
Cleveland State over Wake Forest- WFU's guard play has stunk of late and CSU can shoot.
West Virginia over Dayton
Kansas over N. Dakota State- Sherron Collins will single handedly beat NDSU but w/ help.
Southern Cal over Boston College
Michigan State over Robert Morris- I think this game will be close.

2nd round

Louisville over Ohio State
Utah over Cleveland State
West Virginia over Kansas
Michigan State over Southern Cal- USC could pull the upset if they can put together great back to back games, which I don't think they can.

3rd round

Louisville over Utah- Utah is overmatched with Louisville's speed and suffocating defense.
Michigan State over West Virginia- WVU lives and dies by the 3 point shot at times. They die here.

4th round

Louisville over Michigan State- Michigan State struggles against teams that love to push the pace...and that is Louisville's M.O.

West

1st round

UConn over Chattanooga
BYU over Texas A&M
Purdue over Northern Iowa
Washington over Mississippi State- The Huskies' guards make the difference but it will be close.
Marquette over Utah State
Missouri over Cornell- I struggled with this pick. I just don't think Cornell will handle the press.
Maryland over California
Memphis over CS Northridge

2nd round

UConn over BYU
Washington over Purdue
Missouri over Marquette- Marquette will miss Dominic James in this game.
Memphis over Maryland- This will be a blow out. Maryland has nowhere near the players to win this game.

3rd round

Washington over UConn
Memphis over Missouri

4th round

Memphis over Washington- the length of Memphis will drive the Washington guards crazy like it did to Texas last year when A.J. Abrams and D.J. Augustin struggled against them.

East

1st round

Pittsburgh over ETSU
Tennessee over Oklahoma State- neither team can guard, but Tennessee wins a close game.
Florida State over Wisconsin
Xavier over Portland State- I think this game will be decided in the last minute.
UCLA over VCU
Villanova over American
Texas over Minnesota- I don't know who can score for Minnesota and Texas has Damion James.
Duke over Binghamton

2nd round

Pittsburgh over Tennessee
Xavier over Florida State
Villanova over UCLA
Duke over Texas

3rd round

Pittsburgh over Xavier- As long as he stays out of foul trouble, Xavier can't guard Blair.
Villanova over Duke- Teams like Nova have given Duke trouble in the past.

4th round

Pittsburgh over Villanova- I don't believe in Pitt but I also don't know who can beat them in this bracket.

South

1st round

UNC over Radford
LSU over Butler
Western Kentucky over Illinois
Gonzaga over Akron
Arizona State over Temple
Syracuse over S.F. Austin- I can see Syracuse losing this game.
Michigan over Clemson- Clemson has struggled against good teams of late. MU is good enough.
Oklahoma over Morgan State

2nd round

UNC over LSU
Gonzaga over Western Kentucky
Arizona State over Syracuse- ASU plays defense just as well and don't rely on the 3 as much.
Oklahoma over Michigan

3rd round

UNC over Gonzaga- I think they can beat them even without Lawson.
Oklahoma over Arizona State- This is as far as Griffin can take them.

4th round

UNC over Oklahoma- Hansbrough will not guard Blake Griffin, so it is not a matchup between he and Hansbrough. UNC can run three big guys at Griffin and Danny Green and Wayne Ellington can neutralize Willie Warren's scoring. That makes Lawson the X factor for the game...

Final Four

Memphis over Louisville- Memphis should have won it last year. Louisville will be affected by Memphis' defense and won't be able to score on the inside like they want to. Turn them into a perimeter team and I don't like their chances.

UNC over Pittsburgh- UNC can run players at DeJuan Blair and if he gets in foul trouble there is no one to guard any of the UNC post players, which means the 3's may end up raining down for UNC if Pitt tries to double Hansbrough.

Championship Game

UNC over Memphis- This outcome will be reversed if Lawson is not healthy. They will struggle to make the Final Four without Lawson and I think the Memphis pressure defense will really affect them if they are lucky enough to get here without Lawson. I don't see how UNC wins this game without him, if he plays I think he can penetrate Memphis' defense and set up easy scores in transition on offense. I am going to assume Lawson is healthy and UNC wins it.