Showing posts with label sean payton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sean payton. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

7 comments MMQB Review: Peter Might Think 21 is Less Than 20 Edition

Peter King made his triumphant post-vacation, post-CFL MMQB return with an eye on the moral problems of our nation as whole, falling off the latte wagon, ready to discuss how Chris Kluwe is on the right side of the gay rights issue, and wondering whether Dustin Pedroia's first seven seasons in the majors were just him overachieving (for seven years...that's a long time to overachieve) and this season shows his real ability. This week Peter visits more NFL training camps, furthers his infatuation with Chip Kelly (every word out of Kelly's mouth is biblical to Peter), sort of defends his weak column from late last week on Ray Rice (because Peter is the real victim in all of this), and marvels at his own training camp visit schedule.

I find it interesting that Peter is so socially aware on so many issues (refusing to call the Redskins by their team name, being anti-gun in his column, and referring to Chris Kluwe as being on the "right" side of a social issue) that he gave Ray Rice such a light-handed slap in a column pertaining to his (Rice's) and the Ravens reaction to a 2-game punishment for striking his fiance. It seems to me Peter would have been more outraged if Rice had called his fiance a Redskin, bought a gun and then called her homosexual slurs instead of hitting her. I tend to hate groupthink, especially on Twitter, but I thought the 2-game punishment was a bit light as well and was surprised that Peter King, who has earned the right (apparently) in MMQB to speak out on issues he believes strongly in, went too easy on Rice.

Now on to a little Rob Ryan and Chip Kelly worship. Screw the Bible, this shit these two coaches are saying is the real gospel.

This is what a real training-camp practice sounds like, via the verbal stylings of New Orleans defensive coordinator Rob Ryan and his defensive coach, Bill Johnson.

“Hit today. Hit. Hit. Be physical. Be physical. Get the ball out! Lotta life. Let’s go. Let’s go D. C’mon now. First practice in pads. F—in’ pads!! Let’s go!”

This is as opposed to the fake training camp practice Peter saw with Buffalo last week where the defensive coaches were encouraging the defensive players to just slightly tap the opposing player and only politely asked if they could have the football.

The linebacker group joined the defensive linemen. One by one, the players lined up and attacked the individual sled. One after one, all of them plowed into it with their hands and upper bodies, lifted it up, and tossed it aside.
 
“All right!” Ryan said. “Now this is football.”

Just in case anyone on the Saints roster was confused and thought they were playing bocce or lacrosse, this IS football.

A second shot for everyone at the sled ensued. A few minutes later, players lined up on either side of the ball for an inside-running drill. No tackle, but the defense could stand up the ballcarrier with a hard thud and try to strip the ball. Lots of hype and excitement here, followed by a couple of runners shaking loose and getting outside.
 
Ryan: “F—in’ lettin’ them run through you like paper! Awful!”

Rob Ryan's defenses in Dallas, Cleveland and in Oakland have traditionally let teams run through them like paper. I would think he'd be used to it by now. I have a feeling the media won't quit on the Rob Ryan train until he is handed an NFL head coaching job. I'm sure Peter considers Ryan to be one of those overlooked coaches who unfairly haven't gotten a shot at a head coaching job. I bet Peter thinks Ryan should be added to his list from last winter when Peter was discussing the lack of diversity in NFL head coaching candidates.

Next play: Running back Khiry Robinson got eaten alive inside. Never made it out of the mugging throng.

New Orleans Saints: 2015 Super Bowl Champs.

And so it ebbed and flowed, the first padded practice of a promising season. It was a fun scene, but the most impressive 20 minutes I spent in Week 1 on the Training Camp Tour goes to…

Philadelphia Eagles
Saturday, July 26
Eagles facility, Philadelphia
Chip Kelly, unplugged


Nevermind, change that. Philadelphia Eagles: 2015 Super Bowl Champs.

I’ve had only two extended conversations with Kelly since he was named coach of the Eagles 19 months ago. To say I know him well would be folly. But I’m starting to get a feel for him.

Well, that's good to know Peter. I was concerned that you hadn't gotten to know enough about Chip Kelly. If I remember corrrectly, both times Peter talked to Chip Kelly at length he transcribed large parts of the interview in MMQB because EVERYTHING CHIP KELLY IS BRILLIANT! He's like Buddha, but less Buddha-ish, more Jesus-ish, but without talking about morality. He uses words in sentences that cause Peter to smile happily at just how different and brilliant Chip Kelly truly is. Kelly has an innovative offense so absolutely everything about him must be described in some way as innovative. He plays loud music while the team practices, which we all know immediately leads to a Super Bowl victory, and doesn't say boring things. He's fun, he's a good quote, so the media adores him.

I vividly remember the other two times Peter has spoken at length with Chip Kelly and both times he acted like Kelly was the smartest man he ever met. It's true that Kelly is a smart guy, but enough with the hero worship, just tell us about the Eagles training camp. We don't get that though. Peter only tells us about Chip Kelly. Sorry Eagles fans, you get nothing about your team outside of a review of Chip Kelly quotes.

Totally confident that his style will work in the NFL. Unlike Johnson, Kelly’s not brash on the outside. Like Johnson, he knows deep down his way will win. Johnson brought a small, fast defense into a league that was going bigger and bigger. It worked. Kelly brings a fast-break offense from Oregon, and in the second half of the season, with different personnel groupings and a quarterback who could keep it all straight, the team went 7-1.

And there's no way NFL teams will adjust to his style of play. I don't doubt the Eagles could make the playoffs again this year, but NFL defensive coordinators are very good at adjusting. I know this isn't fun to even think about for Peter because of all the great Chip Kelly quotes.

He also is the kind of guy who … I’ll put it this way. Imagine Ford was getting stale making cars (imagine that!), and execs there pursued a Honda VP to rejuvenate the company, and in the interview the Honda guy said five or six things that made the Ford team think, “Why didn’t we think of that?” That’s Kelly.
The five or six things he said Saturday that made me think:

Every word from Kelly's lips to Peter's ears.

The biggest surprise of his first year and a half on the job. “The hype. [Director of public relations] Derek [Boyko] asked me the question and said I couldn’t say it … What’s the worst thing about the league? I said the draft. I mean, the hype that goes into the draft is insane. Totally insane. The biggest thing for me is that everybody thinks whoever you drafted or whoever you signed is now gonna be a savior.

While I agree with Chip Kelly in part, the NFL Draft is the cheapest and most long-term way to build a successful franchise. So too much pressure can be put on players drafted early in the draft, but it used to be these players drafted in the Top 10 were paid like they were already the best at their position. So that contributed to a lot of the expectations that player would be a savior. Add to that the fact building through the draft is the best way to put together a long-term winning team and I'm sure Chip Kelly can see why there is some hype around the draft. A great draft can put a team in the playoffs. Just ask the Indianapolis Colts or the Seattle Seahawks.

We drafted [pass-rusher] Marcus Smith in the first round, and Jordan Matthews in the second round. Then you listen to people around here that say, ‘Well, we don’t like their draft. If they had taken Matthews first and Smith second, we would give them an A.’ Who cares who went one and who went two? It’s almost like there’s a lot of scrutiny on Marcus Smith because he went one, but Jordan gets a pass because he fell to the second round.

Sometimes I think Chip Kelly has been told frequently how smart he is and it sinks in a little bit so he starts to believe it. It doesn't matter who went one and who went two, it's just there is an opportunity cost of taking a guy like Marcus Smith in the first round. There are (perceived) better players available, so the draft experts thought he was a better fit in the second round, while they felt differently about Jordan Matthews. They thought Matthews could fit well in the first round. It's not about which players get a pass and which don't. It's about the opportunity cost of drafting Marcus Smith in the first round. There is also a cost differential in drafting one player in the first round and the second round, so in that aspect it makes a difference too.

“Jerry Rice dropped a lot of balls when he was a rookie. He was a strong kid. He took it. But now, for some of these guys, it crushes them. It’s no different than bringing a pitcher up before you should and he gets racked. He’s a stiff. Send him back to the minors. There’s a maturation process for everybody. There’s no other profession like it. The hype part is just constant.”

There is also a vast difference in the amount of money a person directly out of college working for a bank will be paid as compared to an NFL rookie. If a bank paid a person straight out of college $800,000 per year then there would be hype and a shorter maturation process. Comparing sports to other professions is a very misleading argument. Naturally, Peter eats it up.

Changing the practice week to a faster pace and heavier work load later in the week. “We’re not walking through. We’re running. Always running.”

Very deep, Peter. Very deep. I'm glad you included this quote. Chip Kelly is installing a high-energy, fast offense and he runs through practice. What an unforeseen circumstance.

Predictions. “No one knows. I don’t know. I don’t know anybody that does know. I was asked after the draft, ‘Give yourself a grade.’ I was like, ‘I have absolutely no idea.’ But it’s the truth! No one knows. I’ve said it all along. Everybody says, ‘What a great job by the Patriots getting Tom Brady in the sixth round.’ If you knew he was gonna be that good, you should have taken him in the first. No one knows. We all kind of luck out.”

Chip Kelly just took multiple sentences to say, "No one knows anything about the NFL Draft and whether the players we chose will end up working out." Those few extra sentences convince Peter that Chip Kelly is SO different from other human beings and is a national treasure. No one knows if they drafted good players, a team that runs a high-paced offense will practice at a high-pace and the draft is too hyped. No one else has ever had these thoughts.

And so it went.

Peter is fascinated by Chip Kelly. It's like Chip Kelly is speaking English, but he's speaking a clear form of English that Peter King has never heard before. Kelly is saying things and they are just more brilliant than what anyone else has ever said, because Peter's angle on Kelly is that he is different from every other NFL coach, so he has to continue to push this narrative past the point he should. 

When we talked about year two, he was very coach-like. No magic pills here. Just progress. Slow and steady progress. “Last year,’’ he said, “we grew as the season went on. We started off at 3-5 in the first eight, then finished 7-1. It was evident to us as coaches that we were growing weekly. It started to show up on the scoreboard.

How different from other NFL head coaches who are always talking about the magic pills their team will take to win more games. I remember Mike McCarthy stating that his team was taking the green pill this offseason so the team is naturally going to play better defense.

On the practice field Saturday, Darren Sproles was running around from three different spots—the backfield, the slot, out wide. Big target Matthews worked with the second unit—maybe not for long. DeSean Jackson will be missed, but as The MMQB’s Greg Bedard said watching the workout: “No one person will replace Jackson. Chip’s scheme will.”

And then Gregg Easterbrook will talk about how highly-paid, glory boy DeSean Jackson was easily replaced and fail to mention a 1st and 2nd round pick (Jeremy Maclin and Jordan Matthews) were the ones replacing Jackson's numbers.

It’s going to be a fascinating year two. If the Eagles continue the fast-track of the last two months of last season, Seattle, San Francisco, Green Bay and New Orleans are going to have competition for late January football in the NFC.

So are those Peter's five of the six representatives in the NFC side of the playoffs? Oh, and I guess the assumption is the Saints will manage to win their division this year? I feel like Peter has already handed the NFC South to the Saints, you know, since they didn't win the division last year that makes sense.

Washington’s a mystery team in a mystery division.

But you...you just said if the Eagles continue the fast-track of the last two months then they are going to be playing late in January? You also said the Eagles offense should be more productive this year than last year and used the 7-1 record and offensive line improving as proof of this. So, you clearly seem to think the Eagles will improve this season and an improvement on the team that won the NFC East would again win the NFC East. How is the NFC East a mystery division if it's obvious who will the division?

The big thing Griffin has going for him is the deepest roster of weapons in the NFC East. Couple DeSean Jackson, Pierre Garcon and Andre Roberts, the former Cardinal (who looked elusive and very quick today), with a tight end with breakout-star potential, Jordan Reed, and a back with 2,888 yards in his first two years, Alfred Morris, and, I mean, who tops that?

Ummm...Darren Sproles, Jeremy Maclin, Jordan Matthews, Riley Cooper, Zach Ertz/James Casey/Brent Celek (who Peter, again, stated would be more productive this year), and LeSean McCoy? It just sort of seemed like that's who Peter thought would top this.

“Physically,” Griffin told me after practice, “I was able to go through a whole off-season without having to worry about injury or rehab. I was able to refine my craft in the off-season. It’s a lot easier to do that when you don’t have six hours of daily rehab to worry about. I am not having to come out to see if I can do anything. I know I can. On the field, two years of playing experience really helps you at any level of football.”

Robert Griffin last year: I'm healthy and have the rehab video to prove it! I can make all the moves I need to make on the field.

Robert Griffin this year: I wasn't that healthy last year and this year I am really totally healthy. I can make all the moves on the field I need to make.

Baltimore Ravens
Thursday, July 24
Ravens facility, Owings Mills, Md.
Ray Rice resumes his career, chastened


He's humbled by his experience of battering his fiance. It's really a great learning experience for him.

1. How will he respond to the suspension, and to the world at-large that thinks commissioner Roger Goodell let him off way too easy? Rice was significantly down, I’m told, when GM Ozzie Newsome told him the news before practice Thursday.

Ray Rice was so sad that he was punished for battering his fiance. I can't believe Roger Goodell made Ray Rice such a sad little man.

Not that the length of suspension was a slap to him—but because of the weight of feeling he let so many people down. He will have to rebuild a shattered reputation brick by brick, and continue to work on his marriage, all while trying to jump-start a career that was blown off course by an awful 2013.

This is the type of language Peter used in his column. He kept calling Rice contrite and discussed how he would work hard to rebuild his reputation. For a writer who loves to stand in judgment at any possible chance he gets, it's amazing to me that a player who commits violence against women would get the "Well, he knows he's let people down and there is a lot of hard work ahead of him, on and off the field" act from Peter.

2. Is he really out of the woods with his wife, and can he be trusted to never hit another woman? Obviously this is the crux of the ongoing story. His wife Janay told Goodell this was a one-time event that would never happen again, and Goodell apparently believed her, though domestic-abuse experts say that as often as not a victim won’t tell the truth, so as to save her partner’s neck.

You mean like the type of person who will choose to marry the person who abused them AFTER he was arrested and charged with the abuse? These are the type of people who would try to mitigate the punishment against their abuser? So basically, Janay fits this profile perfectly. Fantastic. The NFL is giving Ray Rice credit for his wife staying in a potentially abusive relationship.

3. What about Rice the player? Rice was making changes to his physical life before he struck his fiancée, losing about 15 pounds this off-season. He was too heavy last year to be effective, and couldn’t make anyone miss. Now 204, around his rookie-year weight, Rice seems to be ready to be very good again—for 14 games, at least. “I honestly think he’s going to dominate the league the way he did two or three years ago,’’ one Raven said. Rice had 2,068 rushing/receiving yards as recently as 2011. He looks and moves like he can still be an impact player.

Well, I guess that is what is important. So Greg Hardy is only getting a 2-game punishment too, right? I mean, he wasn't even in a relationship with the women he battered. They were on-and-off-again. I'm sure Peter will be harsher on him because Hardy owned guns and didn't work hard enough in the offseason to show himself as contrite. Plus, his accuser may not state that all is well and it was a one-time thing. Hardy wasn't able to keep his accuser in a long-term potentially abusive relationship, so he doesn't get that extra credit mitigation from the NFL. Still, Hardy only has to get two games, right? It's ridiculous if he does, but based on Rice's punishment, two games should be Hardy's punishment.

Rice will leave the team after the fourth preseason game, and he can return after the Ravens’ Sept. 11 Thursday night game against Pittsburgh. You can’t play football with your tail between your legs. So he’s going to find a way to make sure he’s ready when he walks back into football in September, trying to recapture the drive he had three years ago as a player.

Peter's coverage of Ray Rice in this situation has been a minor embarrassment. He's tone-deaf to the criticism on Twitter he has received for what he wrote about Rice's suspension and has of course turned it into an attack on him as a person and not an attack on what he has written. Peter King is the real victim here.

New York Giants
Wednesday, July 23
Giants facility, East Rutherford, N.J.
How do you change everything at age 67?


So, I asked the oldest head coach in the NFL, what does it take to hit restart at age 67?

“I looked at our team and I just felt like what I needed to do from a leadership standpoint was stimulate our veteran players,’’ he said. “Stimulate Eli. Create some energy, some renewed vigor, some enthusiasm for the unknown. Eli had played in this system for 10 years. We won two Super Bowls with it. His numbers from time to time have been out of sight. He’s a leading guy in the two-minute offense for any number of years, when we had great running teams, we had balance, he’d been incredible. He’s been the MVP of two Super Bowls. Eli’s had to do it like a young guy coming in. That’s exactly what he’s done. For me, I have to force myself, just like all the players, to learn a new system. It is stimulating. It does create a little bit of pressure.

If Chip Kelly had said this, then Peter would marvel at the brilliance of it all. He's talking about energy and renewed vigor, while creating an entirely new system. Peter would wonder how a human being could speak such nuggets of genius.

Coughlin knows energy is one thing, wins another. He’s one win away from passing Paul Brown on the all-time NFL wins list (“Wow,’’ he said when he heard this),

Thanks for that "wow" quote, Peter. It really added something to the column. 

Buffalo Bills
Monday, July 21
St. John Fisher College, Pittsford, N.Y.
You want to feel pressure? Be EJ Manuel for a day.


In a recent Bills’ practice, young GM Doug Whaley, who cut his teeth watching some bombs-away quarterbacks win games and titles in Pittsburgh—most recently Ben Roethlisberger—sidled up to EJ Manuel and said, “Don’t be perfect. Be a football player.”

Manuel led all quarterbacks in football last year in percentage of pass attempts to running backs. That usually means a quarterback is checking the ball down, playing it safe.

Two things in defense of Manuel. How many times have we read sportswriters compliment a young quarterback for "taking what the defense is giving him and not trying to do too much when a great play isn't there"? All of a sudden it's a bad thing when success doesn't result, but when a quarterback like Cam Newton, Nick Foles or Russell Wilson makes the smart play to reduce the chance of an interception then he's just being smart out there and taking care of the football. Also, checking down to a running back isn't such a bad thing when the running back catching the pass is C.J. Spiller.

That’s going to be something Whaley and the coaching staff must monitor. You don’t want to browbeat your quarterback, but you don’t want Watkins to be running clear-out routes either.

And then when Manuel throws 25 interceptions this year, Peter King will browbeat Manuel in MMQB (like he did Geno Smith last year when Smith has nearly zero good options in the passing game) for taking too many chances and being careless with the football. Peter thinks Manuel should throw the ball down the field, but it's probably smart to do this only when it's not unnecessarily risky. I have a feeling as soon as the season starts Peter will start to criticize Manuel for throwing too many risky passes down the field if Manuel doesn't check down to the running back as often.

“The really great athletes makes their news on the field, not off the field. We expect better from him.”
 
—Cleveland owner Jimmy Haslam, on his life-of-the-party quarterback, Johnny Manziel.
 
It’s clear the Browns are chapped by his lifestyle, which I’ll address in Ten Things on Page 4.

Jimmy Haslam is a fucking moron in drafting Johnny Manziel and then getting angry Manziel is making noise off the field. What did he expect? The media covers Manziel as much as possible and it's not like this was just going to stop once Manziel entered the NFL. He hangs out with beautiful women and parties. This wasn't going to just magically change once he had money. It's ridiculous to think it would. Haslam drafted Johnny Manziel for the hype and excitement and now he's getting salty at the fact he's drafted Johnny Manziel because there are other parts of Manziel he doesn't like. Too bad. You wanted him, you got him.

“Don’t sign Dalton. He sucks”
 
—Banner on a highway overpass near the Cincinnati Bengals practice fields at training camp Friday, referring to contract negotiations with quarterback Andy Dalton, not the biggest fan favorite after three straight Wild Card playoff losses in his three NFL seasons.

Man, how quickly Bengals fans have forgotten how the franchise was so terrible a decade ago. I guess a few years of moderate success and playoff appearances has caused them to forget they would have been thrilled with three straight playoff appearances back in 2003. Now it's just not good enough for them. Andy Dalton may suck, but the other options could suck worse. Of course Peter has to put in MMQB how much Dalton sucks. It's his mission to make sure everyone knows Andy Dalton is just a huge disappointment and should be paid minimum wage to play quarterback in the NFL.

So the Saints’ defensive coaches harped from the start of the first padded practice about taking the ball away. “Get the [explective] ball out!’’ defensive coordinator Rob Ryan screamed as Khiry Robinson tried to power through the line on an inside run drill. And so on.

Apparently the idea of Rob Ryan yelling was so intriguing to Peter King that he had to include two separate instances of Ryan yelling. If Ryan yelled in the voice of Chip Kelly then Peter would just swoon to no end.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

First: thanks to GoRVing.com for the groovy 30-foot RV.

It seems Peter dropped enough hints that he wanted someone else to pay for his RV that a company finally relented and gave him a groovy (Sweet mother-of-all-that-is-holy, "groovy"?) RV. Few sportswriters know how to passively-aggressively beg for free shit like Peter.
  • Sunday July 20: Drive 330 miles from New York City to Pittsford, N.Y., to see the Bills for two days.
  • Monday night, July 21: Drive 330 miles back to New York. 
  • Tuesday, July 22: Off day.
  • Wednesday, July 23: Drive eight miles from New York to the Meadowlands for Giants practice.
  • Thursday, July 24: Drive 199 miles from New York to Owings Mills, Md., for the Ravens, and, after a long day there, drive 163 miles to Richmond in advance of Washington’s practice there Friday.
  • Friday, July 25: Watch Washington practice, work for awhile, then drive 88 miles to Woodbridge, Va., for the Potomac Nationals-Carolina MudCats minor-league ballgame. Then drive 118 miles to Newark, Del., to stay for the night.
  • Saturday, July 26: A bear. Drive 42 miles to Philadelphia for Eagles practice. Late in the afternoon, drive 198 miles to Winchester, Va., eat dinner at Violino Ristorante (thank you, internet), and drive 186 miles to White Sulphur Springs, W.Va. A Hampton Inn bed never felt so good.
  • Geographical-interlude highlight: We were in three states—Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia—in the span of one minute Saturday around 7 p.m.
  • Sunday, July 27: Drive 308 miles from White Sulphur Springs to Gaffney, S.C., just shy of Panthers’ camp for their Monday practice.
I wonder how many people during the past week said, "I wonder what Peter King's RV agenda is for this week?" I'm guessing not many. It's a lot of driving, but I'm pretty sure Peter is well-compensated and the key point is that he isn't even driving the bus. He's sitting and writing columns. I would feel much more sympathy if Peter had to drive this whole way, but someone else is driving. Peter is just sitting, writing, eating and drinking.


There’s something slightly creepy about that. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s strange.

Well, when the commissioner hasn't taken action regarding your off the field arrest, I guess you have some more money laying around. Nothing like buying people off for good will.


No comment from Peter here. He's submitting this Tweet without comment it seems. For a guy who has strong opinions on a lot of issues and a forum he has used in the past to express those opinions it's a little interesting Peter doesn't take a stronger stand on Rice, that's all. He's not afraid to defy Roger Goodell on occasion. He won't call the Redskins by their name, but it seems he takes the "Some people don't think the 2-game suspension" route instead of taking a stronger stand. Not that Peter has to take a strong stand, again, but it seems to me that violence against women and the NFL's reaction would be an issue Peter got as worked up about as he does the Redskins team name and whether the Marriott had hot coffee at 6am or not.

Not everyone has to agree two games is not enough, but express that opinion in the same forum you express every other opinion that crosses your mind during a given week. It only makes sense for Peter to do so rather than start to act like he's the one being attacked after he writes a not-weighty, somewhat tone-deaf column about Ray Rice. Again, this can only mean Greg Hardy would get two games for his arrest and that's not enough. But now, if Hardy gets more, that's bullshit. What? Because the women agrees she deserved to get beaten or it was a one-time thing that mitigates the action in some way?

I had no expectations for Rice's punishment. I feel two games isn't a sufficient punishment. It also annoys me the NFL seemed to mitigate his punishment because his wife said it was a one-time thing and had never happened before or since. It's like the NFL is giving Rice bonus points for his wife staying in a potentially abusive relationship. It's the act that is supposed to be punished, not whether the victim of the act is willing to forgive that person or not.

Ten Things I Think I Think

2. I think this would worry me—a lot—if I were Cleveland coach Mike Pettine, and Cleveland owner Jimmy Halsam: the photo of first-round rookie quarterback Johnny Manziel tightly rolling a $20 bill in the bathroom of a bar, as reported by Mary Kay Cabot of the Cleveland Plain Dealer. There’s no crime in that, obviously. But it’s certainly suspicious.

Yes, because we all know the NFL punishes consistent failed drug tests with a year-long ban. Wouldn't want that to happen to Manziel. I wonder if the NFL would mitigate Josh Gordon's year-long punishment if the drugs he used swore it was only a three-time thing?

3. I think if you’ve read me since March, you know I’m a champion of Manziel the player. I think he has a chance to be a terrific NFL player and game-changer. I don’t want him to go to a monastery every night. I want him to understand this is the big leagues, not the big party leagues. And image counts. It’s not everything, but it counts.

I think logic would dictate that if a college athlete is partying and enjoying a faster paced lifestyle then he won't suddenly change once he gets more money, becomes a professional athlete and gains more fame. Somehow through this whole process Johnny Manziel convinced writers like Peter King he is a totally different person now. I claimed it was his PR person helping out, but writers like Peter bought in. Now they are totally shocked that Johnny Manziel is still partying. Manziel wasn't going to change once he got paid. He's still going to be great on the field at times, make dumb decisions at times and go out and party for a few more years. It annoys me that writers like Peter King act like Manziel pulled the wool over their eyes when it was them who wanted to believe and buy-in to what Manziel was trying to sell.

7. I think the way the league operates this will not happen, but if I were Roger Goodell, I’d take time this week to explain why I suspended Ray Rice for two games and not more. The reason he won’t do this is because it will extend an ugly story for another couple of news cycles, because whatever he says he’ll get bashed over the head for it by people who think he went far too soft on Rice for domestic violence on his then-fiancée Janay Palmer. 

And of course Goodell doesn't have to explain himself. He probably won't. But I hope the reason he doesn't explain himself isn't because he is afraid of getting more bad press and criticism. That's sort of a weenie way out. 

But this is the one time, even if the criticism continued sharply, I think Goodell needs to come out and explain himself. Too many women, and plenty of men, feel outraged over this.

Meanwhile, Peter King wants us to know that Ray Rice is ready to dominate again this year, has lost weight, and wants to prove he's still a great player. That's his contribution to the discussion.

9. I think that was a touching thing you did, Christian Ponder and Samantha Ponder, naming your daughter Bowden, after Bobby Bowden, and surprising him with the news over the phone.

Almost as touching as congratulating them publicly for their touching action. Almost.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

c. Carolina had the bases loaded with none out in the top of the first. Next batter walked. Potomac pitcher can’t find the plate. Goes to 2-0 on the next hitter. I announce: “Neil, the batter won’t swing here. Manager will make him take a pitch until this pitcher can throw a strike.” Words are just out of my mouth. Windup. Pitch. CRACK! A Puig-like laser lines into the trees high over the left-field fence. Boy, I know my baseball.

Boy, Peter sure is humble about his lack of knowledge regarding baseball. He's such a dunce! Now he will pretend he never said this and analyze what Jon Lester's new contract would look like. Remember, he's a moron about baseball, but treat this next passage with his opinion as the opinion of someone who is really smart about baseball.

d. Tough call, whether to pay Jon Lester. I have no doubt the Yankees would sign him if he became a free-agent after the season and the Red Sox didn’t come close to the New York offer. The knee-jerk reaction is to say, “You’ve got to pay him! He’s your ace!” I lean toward agreeing—but at what price for a pitcher who’s 31 next opening day? Look at the track record of paying thirty-something players $20-million-plus, and it’s not good at all. I think if Boston offers $105 million over five, or something like that, it almost certainly wouldn’t get the deal done. But $25-million a year, for a 31-year-old pitcher? Count me out.

Wait, so $21 million per year for a 31-year old pitcher is fine. Go for it and get it done. But that extra $20 million or $4 million per year, let's pump the brakes there! Peter thinks the track record of paying pitchers over 30 years of age $20 million or more isn't very good, so his solution is to pay Lester $21 million per year...but just not $25 million per year, because that's going way overboard.

See, Peter pays attention to the data he is throwing out to say the Red Sox shouldn't give Lester $20 million or more per year, then completely ignores the data he threw out and says the Red Sox should give Lester $21 million per year. Apparently Peter doesn't think $21 million is more than $20 million.

e. Coffeenerdness: Thought it was funny to see at the Hampton Inn in Lewisburg, W.Va., a coffee urn put out with breakfast labeled “robust.” It jut might have been robust if they put 8 ounces instead of 64 through the grounds. That coffee was as weak as a two-week-old Calico.

Hey, if only Peter would get this worked up about violence against women.

g. Caught snippets of the Hall of Fame speeches from Cooperstown. Greg Maddux should teach a graduate class in Cool at Harvard.

(Checks Harvard schedule of classes) There is no class in Cool at Harvard. Neither is there a class in "Throwing a baseball well to where the other team can't hit it," which is the real class Maddux should teach, if there was such a class.

The Adieu Haiku
Why I love these camps:
Rob Ryan’s a blast to watch.
And the voice. Priceless.


This is the third separate time Peter has mentioned loving the sound of Rob Ryan's voice. It's starting to get creepy.

I like how Peter put in this MMQB how grueling his travel schedule was, while also mentioning the cool minor league baseball games and other fun events he got to attend during the week. So it's a grind, except not really.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

3 comments MMQB Review: Jabari Greer Tells an Inspiring Story, But Doesn't Understand the Story of David and Goliath

Chris Kluwe wrote MMQB last week and regaled us all with stories of what it is like to be an NFL player who gets released, encouraged us all to take a cross-country trip at some point so that we may have the perspective on the world he now has, and described the changes he would make in the Pro Football Hall of Fame voting process to allow a specific spot for a specialist like a punter or kicker. I'm not entirely sure putting aside a certain spot where Hall of Fame voters can vote in a kicker or punter separate from offensive/defensive players would result in more specialists being elected into the Hall of Fame. It still comes down to voters believing a kicker or punter is as worthy as an offensive/defensive player for the Hall of Fame honor. This week in MMQB, Jabari Greer desperately tries to get an "A" in creative writing by telling an allegorical tale, as well as informs us about the state of mind in the New Orleans Saints locker room after being wrongfully persecuted for the bounty scandal. When Greer starts telling a story about two seeds it starts to make me miss Peter King a little bit.

Each summer in the searing sun of southern Louisiana, 90 men leave their individual life behind and dream of becoming one.

So the Saints are going to use 90 players on defense this year to try and stop the opposing team from accumulating over 6000 yards of offense on them? I'm not sure the NFL will allow this, but the Saints haven't ever really cared about the rules anyway, so why stop now?

The goal is simple:

Find someone, anyone, who can tackle the opposing team's ball carrier. I'm just kidding of course. The goal is to injure the quarterback for the opposing team using money as an incentive and then act like they are wrongfully being persecuted when they are caught doing this. But Drew Brees knows NOTHING about this I tell you. NOTHING! It's news to him.

forsake yourself for the fortune of group,

Incur a penalty for roughing the passer, but make sure the opposing team's quarterback is out of the game. That's all that matters. Forsake yourself, but get Brett Favre out of the NFC Championship Game.

rise above the immediate trials of the time, and become timeless. 

Which is what the Saints defense was able to do last season. They became timeless and historical. They gave up the most yards in a single season in NFL history. Hey, it's hard to play defense when you don't have a few hundred bucks motivating you to injure opposing players. Tackling gets boring and old, but the 2012 Saints team WAS timeless. So mission accomplished.

The summer progresses, the heat intensifies and the number of men sacrificing together dwindle;

Players start dwindling? You can't turn on yourselves like that! Just because you can't intentionally injure opposing players doesn't mean you should cannibalize your own team by injuring your teammates. Stop the madness.

This is the life of a New Orleans Saint preparing for the season, and if you are one of the 53 few chosen, this is the place you want to be.

Especially if you are an offensive player and the Saints are the next team on your schedule.

Coming into this season, like every season before, there is a sense of promise.

I have no promise for my favorite team. I know they will go 8-8 and I'm fine with that. I just miss football.

If you take a poll of all 32 teams, 32 of them will believe that there is something different about this year's chances; the offseason breeds hope, but only when hope is challenged, does resolve flourish.

What the hell are you talking about? Only when hope is challenged, does resolve flourish? Does Jabari Greer write taglines for bad science-fiction movies? I feel like this is the tagline for "Starship Troopers 7." Resolve can flourish even when hope isn't challenged. I think some people like to put a bunch of words together that sound deep, but they don't entirely think about what they are saying or writing and whether what they are saying or writing makes complete sense.

The 2012 New Orleans Saints season was well documented, from the loss of Sean Payton, our coach; to the rest of the sanctions dealt to our program in the alleged bounty case;

The NFL found the Saints guilty of placing bounties on opposing players and all of the actors have already been punished. There's nothing "alleged" about it at this point. It's thought to have happened and those responsible have been punished. The bounty case is no more "alleged" at this point than Bernie Madoff was alleged to have run a Ponzi Scheme. If you don't agree with the bounty decision just say "in the bounty case," but there's nothing "alleged" about now. It happened and it isn't alleged by those who have the authority to consider it fact, instead the Saints culpability in a bounty program is considered fact.

What was not told in the headlines or on the news, however, was the spirit of our men in the locker room. Experiencing an unprecedented ordeal in the history of the NFL, our men never wavered. Although our spirit wasn't reflected in the final score of nine of our games, we endured Goliath's wrath last season, and now Goliath has to pay.

Oh my God, what an attitude of victimization Jabari Greer has. Right, the Saints are David, not Goliath. The Saints, a team coming off a Super Bowl win in 2009 and has made the playoffs three out of the last four seasons are the underdog team who is trying to come back from Goliath's wrath. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...sounds like someone can't take responsibility for his actions. The team that intentionally tried to injure other NFL players and has recently won a Super Bowl, this team is the underdog David. The teams that amassed over 6000 yards on the Saints defense and were on the receiving end of the Saints bounty program, now those teams are the big bad Goliath who forced the Saints to endure their wrath. Of course. It doesn't sound like Jabari Greer has a victim mentality at all, does it? Oh, you were the wronged one Jabari Greer. How dare the other NFL teams abuse such a pitiful little helpless Saints defense last year by playing football and not just laying down late in the game so the Saints don't get their feelings hurt by how they can't stop the opposing team.

I understand athletes aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but this bullshit victimization isn't even about intelligence. It's about willfully ignoring the actions of the Saints team and trying to make the Saints seem like victims. I'm not even talking about the bounty scandal, but I'm simply talking about all the times the Saints have run up the score on opposing teams to attain personal records. You know, how Sean Payton had Drew Brees continue to throw the football on Monday Night Football two years ago against the Falcons, after the game was in hand, so Brees could achieve a personal record on national television. Payton did this despite the fact the Saints had a home game the very next week and Brees could have broken this personal record at home then. But no, Sean Payton had to allow Brees to run up the score on the Falcons on national television and break the record. Then, the next week Payton kept Darren Sproles in the game long enough to break a record and continued to run up the score in that game against Carolina. I have no problems with teams running up the score, but I don't feel bad for the Saints and only the most dimwitted of idiots could even pretend the Saints haven't been an NFL Goliath over the past five years. What's good for the Saints to do is good for the Saints to have done to them. Sorry Jabari Greer, if there was a team that deserved to have 6000 yards of offense put on them it was the New Orleans Saints. They Saints have put up some big offensive numbers on opposing teams over the last five years. It's not like the Saints have ever tried to spare the feelings of others teams when putting up points. Stop the victimization bullshit and own up to what you are.

I can't stand it when someone acts like a victim and that person has no cause to act that way. The Saints are the Goliath much more than they can be considered David.

So forgive me if I sound the trumpet of preseason enthusiasm.

You sound like you don't have a ton of perspective on the situation. That's all.

This year holds no promise of a better timbre for the orchestra that is the Saints; but now, in our coach, we have our first chair back, and he has brought in a badass sax player in defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, some new songs and some new steps.

Rob Ryan the noted defensive fixer. He has fixed the defense for the...umm...well, one season with the Raiders in 2006 his defense did well. But his last name is "Ryan" that has to count for something doesn't it? Even some Saints fans appear to see Ryan's hire is based more on his name than his actual production as a defensive coordinator. That article was written before Ryan was hired by the Saints and the author's opinion seems pretty accurate. The Saints went after a "name" coordinator and Rob Ryan is excellent at talking and promising results that sometimes never come. Fortunately, the Saints still have a fantastic quarterback in Drew Brees. Hopefully he won't have to carry the team again this year.

although the goal is simple, and hope profuse, becoming timeless is going to take a lot of work.

I get the feeling Jabari Greer is trying to use big words. I'm sure he is a smart guy, but don't try to show off your vocabulary.
 
And now for a story ...

Is everyone ready for a parable? Good, you better be. I feel like Jabari Greer should just write in MMQB,

"Listen everyone, I'm really not the stereotype of a stupid athlete. I promise I'm not,"

as opposed to trying to use big words and using an allegorical story to convey a message he wants to send.

I'll wrap the story up pretty quick for you and I apologize for leaving out much of the imagery. I know most of you read MMQB to hear parables and life lessons so I apologize for skipping over most of it.

My friend and I cared deeply for our two seeds, and out of exhilaration decided to return home as champions.

As I entered the house, my father greeted me. I opened my hand slowly, revealing my seed, and at once my father's face beamed with joy. "My son, this is the Seed of Destiny," he said, "given as a gift by the Gardener to one chosen for the task." I was given precise instructions to wash it off and place it under my pillow. As I prepared for bed, after thanking the Gardener for this gift, I blew out my light. The luminescence from my seed filled my room, creating amazement in my mind and peace of purpose in my soul; I closed my eyes, and at once I was asleep.

The seed I loved, once smooth and manageable, over time had become jagged and course, almost unbearable to carry. Content with my effort, I put my seed down and walked away. My father, returning home to see my seed jagged and alone, summoned me to the table. "Son, although our destinies can sometimes become rough and seemingly unmanageable, we must strengthen our grip. Although painful at first, our hands callous and contour into a strong support, giving a firm foundation for something so special." He asked me to hold my hand out across the table, placed the jagged seed in my palm, and used his callous hands to close mine. Applying tremendous pressure to my grip, he assured me of my own strength; the excruciating pain drew blood from my hands, tears from my eyes, and a smile from my heart.

After many years passed, I returned to the land of my youth. Although I had left a young man, inexperienced, and oft naïve; I returned inspired, while once my seed was thought to be the solution to life's problems, it had become weathered, beaten and almost broken by the torrential winds of life. I had to become firmly rooted in the lessons I had learned, and truths I had found.

My seed continues to comfort me with a patience that only a few understand. I reminisce on my father's wisdom, not fully understood until now: "Son, our trees must be strong, with roots locking our foundation securely in love, and we must provide not only home for fowl but a place of respite to the weary. It is in your shade that your children will find their seeds, and they will climb your sturdy branches and tell you secrets in a time you will never visit. And when the wind blows ... we can tell them stories of a place they've never known."

So there's the story. See? Jabari Greer has proven he isn't the typical stupid, uneducated athlete. He still uses "alleged" when discussing the Saints bounty program, so maybe he is willfully stupid when it's convenient for him.

Although I use allegory in explaining the story of the two seeds, the principles I wanted to express in this Monday Morning Quarterback are in harmony with the task set before us this day. Monday is a day in which we start new, and we often compound the expectations and tasks facing us, even before realizing that our own seeds still scream to be cultivated.

Stop smoking pot, man. It's making you write and think funny.

We must be the shade to the oppressed, the Fatherless and the poor. We must be the encouraging catalyst to the young who come after us, seeds in hand and full of promise. With their seed, we must cup their hand and apply great force.

See, if someone said this all to me it would sound like they were asking for money. Is Jabari Greer asking for money? I ain't giving him no tree-fiddy.

For out a river of pain,
Their passions shall flow.
no one understands me.


I mean this in the nicest possible way without the snark I've used the rest of this post. This doesn't make sense to me. So "out of a river of pain, their passions shall flow" and then it ends with "no one understands me"? Is this a Fall Out Boy lyric or something? Perhaps I'm just not smart enough to understand, but I can't see how we go from "their passions shall flow" to "no one understands me."

Great, thanks Jabari Greer. Now I have "No One Understands" by Bayside in my head. Thanks, you have me singing emo songs. 

Ten Things I Think I Think

This is as opposed to the rest of this MMQB, which also consisted of Jabari Greer relaying what he thinks. 

1. I think that you guys will read the Two Seeds story, and get to the tagline of "no one understands me," and some of you will invariably reply, "I don't get it?"

The fact that some people may not get it doesn't mean there is anything to be gotten. It's not necessarily deep nor does it have more meaning because some people don't get it. In fact, it very well could mean the tagline of "no one understands me" is just pure gibberish. I could write a incoherent poem and then say "I bet no one gets this" and it doesn't mean my poem is too smart or meaningful for some people. There's a chance my poem just may not make sense.

2. I think that the nation's sidewalk-sign-twirlers should look into getting a union. I consider that a high risk, low reward gig. Nobody should tear a rotator cuff flipping a sign promoting ½ price off haircuts for kids*.

I know Greer is trying to be funny, but that's a little rude, no? Sidewalk-sign-twirlers do have a low reward gig, but I sort of feel like Greer is making fun of these people a little bit when talking about them tearing a rotator cuff flipping the sign. How about writing an allegorical story about not being a dick?

4. I think one of the most confusing comments I sometimes hear when I'm with my children in a restaurant is, "Oh, you're such a good daddy, I wish there were more like you."

Really? More what? More men who realized that they are too lazy to make pancakes on Saturday, so instead pay twice the market value to have someone else make them?

Or they could be talking about men who take the time to treat their children to breakfast out at a restaurant. Going out to a restaurant isn't about trying to have someone else make you food at below the market value at which you could make that food. Nobody goes out to eat to try and beat the market. Going out to eat is nice because you don't have to cook the food and usually the food tastes better than the food you cook. These people who say this wish there were more parents who took the time to treat their children out to a nice breakfast. Don't be so touchy.

Another comment I often hear is, "Your children are so well-behaved."

I wonder how Greer is going to be offended by people who try to give his family this compliment?

"Why wouldn't my kids be well-behaved? Just because I'm a pro athlete it means my children should be terrible and unruly in public?"

5. I think, when writing comedy, the best place to look for conflict is the waffle house during the morning rush. There should be a reality show called Hot off the Grill: Drama in the Waffle House.

Absolutely hilarious.

6. I think the worst place to rush to the restroom is at a Cracker Barrel. If you're trying to picture what it's like, think less NASCAR, more bumper cars.

For someone who doesn't like the idea of going out to eat and paying twice the market value for breakfast that someone else is making, it sure seems like Jabari Greer visits a hell of a lot of breakfast restaurants doesn't it? It seems he is one of those "do as I say, not as I do" type people. It's no big deal to go out to eat for breakfast, but don't get all indignant and pissy when someone says they wish there were more fathers like you who take their children out to eat for breakfast. It seems like Greer likes to take his family out to breakfast, because he has a lot of thoughts on the atmosphere at breakfast restaurants.

8. I think no matter how insightful, inspirational or moving my writing may be, I'll always hear it from Falcons fans:

"Loved the article, but I hope that Roddy White 'drops his seed' on ya'll Week 1! Rise Up!"

Trying not to be mean...but this column is supposed to be inspirational and moving? This is MMQB. I'm not trying to be motivated. I'm trying to talk about the NFL.

9. I think I have been truly blessed to know Steve Gleason.

Man, Peter King does like to have New Orleans Saints players and coaches guest write his MMQB doesn't he? He had Jabari Greer and Steve Gleason guest write this year and Sean Payton guest wrote MMQB a few years ago. It's good thing Peter has tried hard not to piss off the Saints organization, because otherwise he would have no one to guest write MMQB.

10. I think if you met me for coffee, the last thing you would think I did professionally was play football.

I would actually think the last thing you did was be a poet, but I would also be sure not to comment on you being a good father for taking your kids out to get breakfast and coffee. I wouldn't want you to jump down my throat and try to hurt me for being a good dad when we are both paying above market value for coffee and hash browns. Not that Jabari Greer would ever hurt anyone, but we "allegedly" know how those New Orleans Saints defenders can be when it comes to money. 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

6 comments MMQB Review: Cutting Through the Hype to Get to More Hype Edition

In last week's MMQB, Peter King rejoiced that there was a couple of obvious storylines he could write about regarding the upcoming Super Bowl. He could write about it being Ray Lewis' last game, the HarBowl, and the youthful inexperience (dare we say precociousness?) of Colin Kaepernick. This week is the off-week before the Super Bowl, so it is a really good chance to drill these stories into our skull and talk about the human-interest stories prior to the Super Bowl that really make no difference in the outcome of the game. This week Peter talks about how Alex Smith is sort-of-but-not-really pretending not to be sad he isn't the 49ers starting quarterback (yep, that's a triple negative) and how if we as fans are tired of the Super Bowl hype then we should get over it because the media doesn't plan on quitting. I wouldn't expect the hype to stop simply because the fans don't want to read the hype. I guess it beats watching ESPN and hearing wall-to-wall Tebow coverage for a week. And before you ask, yes, Peter does get a Brett Favre mention into this column.

Ready to get beaten over the head with the Harbaughs, Ray Lewis past and present and a whole lot of players saying a whole lot of nothing? Well, it's Super Bowl week, and the bad news for you is that the one thing I noticed in my few hours in town Sunday before writing this is there's more media than ever.

"Who cares what the football-loving public wants to read and hear about, this is what they are getting. Enjoy your Ray Lewis coverage and like it. You aren't getting the Super Bowl until you listen to and understand every aspect of the Harbaugh brothers early lives. This Super Bowl week isn't about you as the public and what you want to read about. It's about the fact our company is paying for us to come down to New Orleans on vacation and they expect some half-assed stories that every other media outlet is doing as proof we are doing work."

I saw a Mardi Gras-style Dan Patrick/Artie Lange float in NBC-land. I mean, Super Bowl Week has become the United States of Programming.

Hey, it's what we want as a public isn't it? Peter knows no "official" polls have been taken on the amount of Super Bowl coverage the general public wants, but trust him, he knows we want wall-to-wall hype and saturated coverage of the Super Bowl. After all, CBS and other networks are pouring millions into this Super Bowl coverage so it doesn't really matter what the sports-loving public wants at this point.

We've all seen it in the last two months: Alex Smith is the NFL's MVM ... Most Valuable Mensch. Look at his career path: First pick of the 2005 draft. Clearly over-drafted because the 49ers needed a quarterback so desperately.

By the way, earlier this year Peter did an entire feature in MMQB on Alex Smith and how he had become a super-accurate and trustworthy quarterback for the 49ers. I'm not sure if this is a contradiction from now saying he was over-drafted, but I find Peter calling Smith "over-drafted" while defending him earlier this year and using statistical evidence to do so as fairly interesting.

Career rescued by Jim Harbaugh, though he constantly looked over his shoulder in the Harbaugh Era with the arrival of Colin Kaepernick and the specter of Peyton Manning. 

No, Peter. Harbaugh wasn't going to replace Smith with Manning. That was all just a rumor. How many times does Jim Harbaugh have to say this? He never wanted to replace Smith with Peyton Manning and he was simply on the Duke University campus in a disguise watching Peyton Manning workout because he was in the neighborhood, 3000 miles away from the San Francisco 49ers stadium. It's not like he replaced Smith with Kaepernick at the very first available opportunity or anything like that. So of course Harbaugh didn't want to replace Alex Smith with Peyton Manning. He wanted to replace Alex Smith with Colin Kaepernick, but had no interest in replacing Smith with Manning. So again, Kaepernick is a good replacement for Alex Smith, but who the hell would want Peyton Manning instead of Alex Smith?

"It sucks, to put it frankly,'' Smith told me the other day. "Tough pill to swallow."

I can't argue with the result, but I don't like how Smith was replaced. It seems tough to lose your starting quarterback job after you have suffered a concussion, especially when Smith had been performing as well as he had. Though, part of me thinks Smith should feel lucky that Harbaugh even gave him a chance last year and helped to rehabilitate his career. Without Harbaugh supporting him and turning his career around he could be looking for a backup quarterback job next year as opposed to possibly getting a starting quarterback job.

And now we've seen what Colin is capable of. He's a very unique talent, and he's made the most of his opportunity. At the same time, this is exactly how I got my start in college. And I think the biggest thing I can point to in how I've handled this is that I saw how some mature quarterbacks handled it. That started in college, with Brett Elliott.''

Oh yeah, Alex Smith took another quarterback's job in college when that quarterback got injured. So after having six years of trying to nail the starting quarterback job down he got replaced right as he was starting to achieve his potential in the NFL, which is obviously payback for taking another quarterback's job in college. I'm sure Gregg Easterbrook believes the Football Gods are punishing Alex Smith.

Smith explained that, at Utah in 2003, he battled incumbent Elliott for the starting job, lost, but won it when Elliott, in the second game of the season, broke his wrist. And there was no turning back when Smith beat Cal (and Aaron Rodgers), then Colorado State, and then, in a Thursday night TV game, Oregon. Now the job was his.

That's probably why Brett Elliott was so mad and wrote "American Psycho," as a way of getting back at Alex Smith for taking his starting quarterback job. Wait, wrong Brett Ell- sounding name.

"It's a unique situation,'' said Elliott, "and really tough for people to understand. It's the most unique place you can be. The most unique situation in life. You're so invested, being the leader and the guy everybody looks to, your life revolving around this.

Yeah, see here is "the thing"...Alex Smith really wasn't the leader and the guy everybody looked to for the 49ers. He didn't seem to be quite that guy. The 49ers seemed to take to Kaepernick pretty easily which leads me to believe either Jim Harbaugh has good leadership in the 49ers locker room or the 49ers as a team knew Kaepernick was probably going to be the guy at some point. I don't think Alex Smith was the guy everyone looked to in the 49ers locker room, no matter how many VISA commercials he appeared in.

Smith hasn't lost confidence in his ability, saying he is "absolutely sure'' he can be a good quarterback in the league for years. But he says he won't think about the future now. Not this week.

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. Alex Smith isn't thinking about the future during Super Bowl week when he is being asked by dozens of reporters about how it feels to be replaced by Colin Kaepernick and he has the time to think about the starting quarterback in the Super Bowl could conceivably be him if he had not gotten a concussion earlier in the year. If there is a week during the year Alex Smith is at his most bitter and thinking about the future, it is during Super Bowl week when he is being constantly asked about his future and how it feels to be replaced by Kaepernick.

I don't hate the HarBowl aspect of this week. It's great. Will we all be sick of the hype in a few days? Yes. But the historical significance of two brothers meeting in the biggest single game on our sports calendar is great.

See, the reason Peter doesn't hate the HarBowl aspect of the week is because he has to fill space in his columns and talking about the HarBowl is an easy way to do that for him. He doesn't hate the story because the story makes it easier to do his job and people are naturally lazy. That's why Peter would write about Tebow or Brett Favre's non-retirement/retirement a few years ago. Sure it was a story, but it was an easy story to write about and got a strong reaction from readers. Very little effort required, a big impact received. Same thing with the HarBowl. People who love the cutesy stories of these two brothers growing up like the story (and there's nothing wrong with that) and it is an easy story to write.

Then Peter links the stories of other sportswriters and their articles on the Harbaugh brothers in a desperate attempt to fill space so he can respond snidely on Twitter to someone who calls him lazy by citing how many words he writes in MMQB. I will sum up the Harbaugh brother anecdotes for you in a concise manner.

-They are competitive. They went on vacation together and played in the pool together in a competitive fashion.

-They are the same. John is shorter than Jim. John is smarter than Jim. Jim didn't have many friends growing up but was a dreamer, just like John Lennon.

-Jack Harbaugh didn't have a very good team at Western Kentucky, so John and Jim helped him recruit better talent and he magically become a better coach.

-Tom Crean and his occasionally awful butt-cut haircut is brother-in-law to John and Jim.

-Sometimes they hated each other and sometimes they loved each other. They were the first brothers in the history of the universe to have a love-hate relationship, paving the way for other brothers like Cain and Abel to have the same type of relationship.

I am categorically, adamantly opposed to the Jets trading Revis. I believe Woody Johnson will rue the day he trades the best cornerback -- a slightly risky tag, obviously, given that he's coming off October knee surgery -- regardless of how uncomfortable the Jets' salary cap fit is right now. You don't trade great players at vital positions in their prime. You never recoup the value.

Of course Peter has a history of over-hyping cornerbacks. Remember when he thought Nnadmi Asomugha was going to be the greatest free agent grab since Reggie White? It hasn't quite turned out that way for the Eagles. So my response to Peter would be that Revis is also in a good situation with the Jets and if the Jets can get a good enough price for him then they should trade him. The starting cornerbacks in the Super Bowl are Cary Williams, Carlos Rogers, Corey Graham, and Tarrell Brown. Last year I don't recall there being an elite cornerback in the Super Bowl matchup of New England v. New York Giants. A pass rush is more important in my mind than having elite cornerbacks, so if the Jets can get a first round pick or even more for Revis I see why they would trade him. Don't overvalue cornerbacks.

In today's game, quarterback is the most important position, followed in some order by pass rusher, cornerback and left tackle. Given that we've just seen the most passes thrown in any NFL season, I'd say corner or pass rusher is now the second-most important position to fill.

I disagree with this. I think a pass rusher is much more important than a corner. A good pass rusher can get to the cornerback and make even average cornerbacks look good, while a team without a pass rush can make even the best corners look bad. I'm not saying a cornerback isn't valuable, but I would place a pass rusher and a stable offensive line as more important than the cornerback position. A great pass rush is the best defensive weapon a defensive coordinator can have. It's more important than the cornerback position.

Revis will be 28 on opening day next year. Two of the league's best five corners in 2012 were Champ Bailey, 34, and Charles Tillman, 31. There is no reason to suggest age will be an issue with Revis.

I'm not saying Revis won't be valuable, I'm saying he may not be so valuable the Jets should ignore trade offers for him and sign him to (another) contract extension. A team needs competent NFL corners, but turning down very good offers on the table for Revis is short-sighted in my opinion. If the Jets can fix their pass rush it will make the their corners look a lot better and they won't need to tie up money in one cornerback, no matter how good he is.

One: In 2007, when the Jets drafted Revis, they traded their first-, second- and fifth-round picks, 25th, 59th and 164th overall, to Carolina for the 14th pick. Revis was picked 14th. Carolina picked linebacker Jon Beason 25th and center Ryan Kalil 59th. Beason made three Pro Bowls in his first four seasons but has struggled with injuries since; Kalil has started 68 games since, and also has made three Pro Bowl teams. So if you're going to trade Revis, understand you're trading a player who cost you first- and second-round picks to acquire -- and if the Jets had hung onto the second-rounder, they could have turned it into a player at a need position like guard-tackle Marshal Yanda or defensive tackle Brandon Mebane. So it would be folly for the Jets, if they did the deal, to crow about getting first- and second-round picks in return; that's what they traded to get him in the first place.

What? This is idiotic logic. If the Jets believe Revis isn't going to come back strong and the value they would receive in a 1st and 2nd round pick is worth it then they aren't losing anything at all. They were able to secure Revis' services for the prime of his career and then got a good value for him in trade. The Jets didn't really even trade a first and a second round pick for Revis because they got the 14th pick in return for making the trade. So they essentially traded a 2nd round pick and a 5th round pick for the right to move up 11 spots in the draft for Darrelle Revis.

It doesn't work this way though. If the Panthers traded Jon Beason for a 1st round pick would that be folly because they used a first round pick on him? Not at all. They were able to have him on the team for six years and then got their investment in him returned back to them in the form of a first round pick. I think trading Revis for a 1st and 2nd round pick would be something to crow about. If the Redskins traded Robert Griffin in eight years for three first round draft picks would that not be something to crow about since they gave up those first round picks to draft him? Not necessarily. A player's trade value is independent from what they gave up to draft him. Any picks traded to draft the player are a sunk cost, so his trade value would be independent from this cost to originally acquire him. This is especially true if a team (like the Jets) were able to use that player's services for six years, then you would have to factor in how much value they received with that player on the roster for those six years in addition to the draft picks they eventually received in return for trading him.

Two: If the Jets trade Revis, they'll be putting a dagger through coach Rex Ryan's heart. In effect, barring an upset, they'd be firing him nine or 10 months early. They'd be saying to him, We know the most important thing to your defense is the cornerback position, and everything you do on defense is predicated on your corners holding up, but we're trading Revis anyway.

History has shown the Jets overvalued Wilson, who is just a guy. Cromartie is good. Without Revis, it's a pedestrian secondary.

The Jets can go out and try to find better corners if they wanted to. They may not find a guy on the level of Revis, but with a 1st and 2nd round pick they could find a corner in the draft to replace Revis and Wilson. That would improve the secondary.

Now, about the money. Revis has a year left on his contract, provided he doesn't hold out, and he will want to be the highest-paid defensive player in the game. Currently, Chicago defensive end Julius Peppers makes an average of $15.3 million a year; Buffalo pass rusher Mario Williams averages $16 million a year. There is no doubt Revis is better at his position than Peppers or Williams is at theirs -- of course, assuming Revis comes back whole from his surgery.

But is Revis worth the same amount of money as an elite pass rusher? I say no. He's an incredibly good cornerback, but I don't value a cornerback as high as I value a pass rusher. Granted, neither Peppers or Williams may be worth the amount of money they received, but for $16 million per year the Jets could acquire Chris Gamble when/if he is released by Carolina and use a draft pick received in return for Revis to acquire another corner. I'm not advocating the Jets trade Revis, but I also don't think it would be the worst decision in the history of the franchise. Rex Ryan obviously needs more than two quality cornerbacks and trading Revis could help the Jets achieve this goal.

If I were the Jets, I'd tell Revis he needs to show he's back to Revis form in the first, say, half of the season. Then I'd lock him up for five years, at $17 million per, in a deal where the guaranteed money will counter-balance the fact that the Jets are in cap trouble right now.


There is a reason Peter King is not an NFL GM right now. He would have $30-$33 million invested in the cornerback position because you know he would have Revis and Asomugha matched up together on the same team. He was trying to convince us all the Jets would be interested in Asomugha when he was a free agent, so you know if he were a GM he would put Revis and Asomugha together in the secondary. Just look at the cornerbacks for Super Bowl winning teams over the last five years. There are some good ones, but mostly they aren't great corners. Great corners aren't necessarily required to win a Super Bowl.

Andy Reid could be tempted with $17 million of cap room in Kansas City, and GM Trent Baalke in San Francisco could be a player too; the Niners will have significant money available when -- I presume -- they dump Alex Smith before April 1. And there are other teams that might be willing to give a first-round pick plus other value (maybe a third-rounder and a journeyman cornerback as well) for Revis. But remember, the compensation isn't just two picks and a player, or whatever ... it's also wrecking your cap in a flat-cap era for Revis, instead of the significantly more manageable money the fixed-cost high-draft choices now provide.

And yet, Peter says the Jets must back a Brinks truck up to pay Revis after he has proven himself this season...which we all know from Revis' previous holdout may end up turning into Revis not playing next year until he gets a new deal.

But I don't care what they'd get in return, unless someone (other than New England, a team the Jets obviously should do no business with) does something stupid like offer three first-rounders and a decent player. It won't be worth it. In this league, at cornerback, if you've got the best, you grit your teeth and pay the man.

Yeah, just look at the Eagles in regard to how important and crucial quality cornerbacks are. I'm all about Darrelle Revis being the top player at his position, but I don't see paying a cornerback as a "you have to pay this man" position, especially when that corner is coming off knee surgery. I know Peter is just waving off knee surgery as no big deal, but I think there is a risk that Revis could injure his knee again. Peter uses Thomas Davis as an example of a player who came back after three knee surgeries, but on the flip side, he is also an example of a player who suffered multiple knee injuries. A good pass rush can help fix problems in the secondary. He's the best at his position, but I can see why the Jets would trade him and depending on the compensation they would get in return, I can see how it is a good move for them.

Since probably midway through Williams' tenure as defensive coordinator in New Orleans, Payton faulted Williams as a renegade coach run amuck. The league didn't buy that Payton didn't know about the reward program Williams was running with his defensive players and thus suspended him for the season.

Good ol' Sean Payton. Remember prior to the year the Saints won the Super Bowl, when Payton took some of his own money and gave it back to the Saints in order to hire Gregg Williams? Payton was lauded by Peter King and others for making this move to help the team succeed, but once Williams started becoming a renegade, all of a sudden Sean Payton couldn't control this man anymore. He had no idea Williams was running the reward program, but he will still accept congratulations for taking less money to hire Williams as the head coach. Sean Payton has control of his staff and is glad to take responsibility for the team's success until something goes wrong and then Payton pleads he has no control over his staff (yes, I realize I sound a bit like Gregg Easterbrook). It's ridiculous to me and I am not happy to see Sean Payton back.

But you've got to credit Payton for urging local fans to be respectful to Goodell if they see him in New Orleans. That's a class thing to do by a guy who I'm sure is still smarting from his year-long suspension.

Nope, I won't give him credit for this. Considering Payton admitted culpability, to urge Saints fans to not tear Goodell apart limb-by-limb, isn't really a classy thing to do but more of a "let's please remember you are trying to punish the commissioner for rightfully punishing me" thing to do.

I asked former Chiefs GM Scott Pioli, who was in the midst of finalizing the club's preliminary draft board when fired early this month, to examine the record 73 underclass players who declared for the draft and pick the top 10, in his mind. His view of the junior board:

Remember a few weeks ago when Peter claimed his defense of Scott Pioli wasn't entirely based on the fact he liked the guy? Well know that Pioli has been fired, Peter is asking Pioli's opinion on the junior class in MMQB. Learn to separate friendship from your job, Peter. Because we all know the opinion of Pioli on the junior class means a lot. Was Matt Millen not available to comment on the junior class? Okay, maybe Pioli wasn't that bad, but Peter defends his friend in print and then gives him an outlet as a personnel expert in MMQB.

First of all, Jan. 28 is a dangerous time to commit to "top players" in any category, particularly underclassmen. There is still a lot of work to do before we know who and what these players are. Sometimes players look better with less information. NFL rules don't allow teams to officially scout underclassmen during fall campus visits, and scouts can't comment publicly on them either. When scouts go into school visits in the fall, they are not allowed to ask questions about underclassmen when speaking with coaches, trainers and any other support staff.

Thanks for your opinion, Scott. Since this exercise is futile I guess we can all move on without your opinion? Actually, even though the exercise is futile Scott Pioli would like to keep his name out there and his friend Peter King is just trying to help him do this.

Then Pioli lists ten players and his opinion of each player, which is seemingly pointless as Pioli just pointed out. If you are interested in Pioli's list then just look at any mock draft and find the Top 10 juniors mocked in that draft and you will have Pioli's list.

Also, there was no travel note this week. Either Peter learned from berating the cabbie last week or he just didn't travel enough to complain bitterly about the experiences he had interacting with his fellow human beings. Either way, we will try to move on without the weekly travel note.

1. I think I should clarify one thing I learned this week about minority coaches, and it's important: One team in the NFL twice called Stanford coach David Shaw asking him to interview for its head-coaching job. Shaw, who is black, said he wasn't interested in leaving Stanford right now. So there's that.

I don't think there was a need to clarify this. Multiple reports said David Shaw wasn't interested in an NFL job at this point. It was silly for Peter to include him last week as a minority who deserved more consideration for an NFL head coaching job. He isn't interested in the NFL at this point.

2. I think Tony Dungy brought up an interesting point on NBC's Football Night in America show Sunday night about minority coaches. He said he spoke with Steelers chairman Dan Rooney -- author of the Rooney Rule, which mandates that every team with a head coaching opening interview at least one minority candidate -- and Rooney told him teams needed to slow down. Agreed. What's the hurry? Why the race? Pittsburgh had a deliberate process that resulted in the hiring of Mike Tomlin on Jan. 22, 2007, the day after the two conference title games.

There is a race because some NFL teams are going after the same candidate. If the Chiefs wanted to interview Andy Reid as their head coach they couldn't wait until the AFC/NFC championship week to do this because he was going to be hired by the Cardinals or another NFL team at that point. There isn't a race among NFL teams to hire these coaches, it is just if Team A goes hard after a coach that Team B wants badly, then Team B is going to have to move up their deadline to hire a coach. It's hard to interview a head coaching candidate who has already taken another head coaching job. It's fine to sit back and wait if you are fine with potentially missing out on interviewing some of the top candidates for your head coaching position.

Also, what the hell is Dan Rooney chiming in on this issue for? He's hired three coaches in the last four decades. It's not like he has vast experience trying to find a suitable head coaching candidate. This is a credit to how the Steelers run their organization, but if Mike Tomlin was close to interviewing and being hired by another NFL team the day after the divisional round of the playoffs then the Steelers would have to hurry to get their man...or at the very least interview their man.

The last of eight coaches hired this year, Bruce Arians, got the job three days before the championship games. That's an anecdotal story, obviously, but Rooney's point is that teams seem to be sprinting to get a coach named instead of making sure they've interviewed a wide spectrum of candidates.

Remember when there were members of the media who were criticizing the Bears for interviewing a wide spectrum of candidates? It is an anecdotal story, but teams have to sprint to get a head coach because if they don't sprint then the number of quality head coaching candidates that can be interviewed quickly dwindles.

5. I think a lot of parents feel like Barack Obama. "I'm a big football fan, but I have to tell you, if I had a son, I'd have to think long and hard before I let him play football," the president told The New Republic.

I thought it was hilarious this comment gained some sense of national momentum. What is Barack Obama really saying? Absolutely nothing. He is simply saying if he had a son (which he doesn't, so this is all hypothetical), he would have to think hard about letting his son play football (but he didn't say he wouldn't let his son play football). Maybe it is an important message that the President of the United States would have to think before letting his son play football, but Obama doesn't have a son and never said he wouldn't allow this non-existent son to play football. He would have to think about it. "I have to think about it" is parent language for "I don't feel like talking about his right now and will make a decision later depending on how I feel."

A lot of parents feel the same way as Obama, but I just thought it wasn't very newsworthy since his opining on an issue that he won't ever have to confront as a parent. It's all hypothetical and the acknowledgment he would have to think about letting his kid play football reflects what every other parent thinks. It's just Obama's opinion means less since he doesn't have a son and won't ever have to make this decision.

9. I think if Ed Reed becomes a free agent, he ought to last about 48 hours on the street ... 

Dan Rooney wants to know why NFL teams are in such a rush to sign free agents. The Steelers take their time signing free agents, why can't other teams?

I think it is interesting how Peter states Ed Reed will be on the street for 48 hours if he becomes a free agent, but Peter also can't understand why NFL teams are so quick to interview and hire potential head coaches. It's like Peter can't understand there is a limited pool of talent for head coaching jobs, but he understands there is a limited pool of talent for NFL players. There isn't a huge difference in a coach being a free agent and a player becoming a free agent. If a team wants a player/coach, they have to move fast sometimes.

and as I said on NBC Sunday night, my money's on the Patriots and the president of the Ed Reed Fan Club, Massachusetts Chapter, Bill Belichick.

Peter thinks the Patriots are going to sign every pending free agent or draft every draft pick. He repeatedly said he thought the Patriots might draft Tim Tebow, correctly hit on Fred Taylor going to New England, said it wouldn't surprise him if the Patriots tried to sign Julius Peppers when he was a free agent or even sign him when he was under contract with Carolina, and now he has the Patriots signing Ed Reed. This may happen, but add it to the list of guys Peter thinks New England will have interest in.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. I missed The Debt in theaters a couple of years ago. Glad I caught it on DVR over the weekend. Heart-pounding.

I can't wait to read Peter's thoughts on "Zero Dark Thirty" as soon as he gets around to watching it in the year 2016. 

b. What an idiotic softie I am. Got all teary the other night watching the last 30 minutes of Parenthood.

There are some things that are better left alone and not shared with others.

e. So Terry Francona came to the Barnes and Noble in my Manhattan neighborhood the other day to sign copies of the book he and Dan Shaughnessy wrote. I stopped by. Naïve me. I'd never met Francona, and, being a Sox partisan, I wanted to stop by and just say thanks for the two World Series titles. Silly me. Seventy-five minute wait. In Manhattan, no less. Well, thanks in spirit, Terry. And I'm sure I'll enjoy the book.

Whoever could have foreseen that there would be a long wait for Terry Francona to sign a book? It's Manhattan, which is a city where only native New Yorkers live, and there is a long wait for a famous person to sign a book? Peter King, a Boston Red Sox fan who lives in Manhattan is shocked that there are Red Sox fans who live in Manhattan. That should tell you anything you need to know about Peter. He is a Red Sox fan who lives in Manhattan, but he is shocked there are other humans alive who live near him that are also Red Sox fans. Peter seems to have no concept of life outside of his own existence.

f. My knowledge of the NBA could fit in a thimble. But I love watching Rajon Rondo. So a little of me died with the Rondo ACL tear Friday.

"I know very little about the NBA, but here is an opinion on an NBA player I care to share with you."

i. Beernerdness: Grew quite fond of the LA 31 Biere Pale Ale in New Orleans Sunday night. Dry and hoppy -- and brewed in Kiln, Miss., home of you-know-who.

Who, Peter? Who is this home to? Can't go an entire MMQB without mentioning his name or referring to him can you?

The Adieu Haiku

The Niners arrive.
Saw Alex Smith at Drago's.
Hope Staley paid tab.


Hope haiku gets gone.
Irritating more and more.
Just make it go away.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

3 comments MMQB Review: Much to Peter's Surprise, Week 17 Was Exciting Edition

Peter King thought this was a better-than-expected Week 17 and this surprised him. I guess he thought the last week of the season was going to be boring, outside of him getting to see J.J. Watt and Andrew Luck in person of course. This week in MMQB, Peter talks about the surprising Redskins (why didn't anyone tell the media that was too busy covering the Jets that the Redskins were a good team?), reviews his preseason picks, and then does a really strange listing of eulogies for those who died during 2012. Along with including haikus in MMQB this has been a kind of strange year for Peter and MMQB.

What a regular season. What a year. What a Sunday.

J.J. Watt? As Salt-N-Pepa say, what a man.

And there was Adrian Peterson, beat up, needing 208 yards to break the all-time single-season rushing record, which seemed the impossible dream.

Peter King refers to Adrian Peterson's hunt for the single-season rushing record in hyperbolic terms as "the impossible dream." This from a guy who expects us to take him seriously when he starts talking about political matters. Perhaps when he stops referring to a sports record as "the impossible dream" I can take his opinion on gun control more seriously.

That was about it. Where was the drama in the AFC? All six playoff teams locked.

Yeah, where is the drama? You can't expect MMQB to write itself, people. Make it easy to write MMQB and give Peter King manufactured drama. Otherwise, there is no reason for him to continue writing on a weekly basis about the NFL and we would get an entire MMQB about Peter describing his coffee habits and complaining about the people he meets in public.

it's Denver, New England and Houston, and the Texans have to come to work today to prepare for a wild-card game they had no desire to play.

This must be as opposed to AFC teams like Baltimore, Cincinnati, and Indianapolis who didn't want to get a first round bye and really, really, really wanted to play a wild-card game this weekend.

Not to mention the fact that the Patriots and Broncos are one home win from a Manning-Brady AFC title game in the Rockies.

DRRRRAMA! Super-good times for Peter!

And we didn't count on Green Bay-Minnesota being one of the three or four best games of the year ... and Peterson making us hold our breath as he climbed toward a record he had no business breaking,

Well, it was the impossible dream after all.

and Minnesota trying to beat its arch rival to scratch and claw into the playoffs, and Peterson making a mess of what should have been a Peyton Manning MVP-walkaway.

Doesn't Adrian Peterson know the narrative was already written? Peyton Manning was going to win the MVP award this year. But noooooooooo, Peterson has to go and show how he may deserve the MVP trophy for 2012. Selfish prick.

On the field as time ticked down late Sunday night and FedEx Field rocked, Griffin said to Morris: "We came here as rookies this year, and they hadn't won the NFC East in forever. And we won it. Now look at us -- the sky's the limit!''

Look at Robert Griffin speaking English in a most fine manner...just like a good ol' cornball brother would do. Being all literate and successful and shit. Help "the cause" Robert Griffin and start "acting black," whatever the fuck that means.

The end of the Tebow Error with the Jets;

I see what you did there Peter! The Sportswriter of the Year award is now yours for the taking.

The Chiefs getting the first pick in the quarterback-starved 2013 draft -- just not knowing who will make that pick with the fate of GM Scott Pioli still up in the air. Peyton Manning finishing the second-most prolific passing season of his life (4,659 yards, 37 touchdowns), an event made all the more impressive by the fact he had his first padded practice with the Broncos five months ago.

And here we all thought Peyton Manning had forgotten how to play football while watching during the entire 2011 season.

The whole nine yards.
(Stole that from Sam Farmer of the LA Times. More about that later.)

More on Peter King stealing a headline later, but for now he's stealing the last bagel off the hotel buffet and hurrying to make it to Starbucks in time to complain about the long lines and criticize how other people dare to live their lives.

Fifteen seconds left. They unpiled. Peterson got up, quickly for a man who'd just carried for the 34th time with a sore groin and abdomen. Thirteen, 12, 11 ...

Would Vikes coach Leslie Frazier, who'd said he'd do nothing out of the ordinary to get Peterson the record, call time and run another play?

Sean Payton would have had Christian Ponder run backwards for 20 yards out of bounds and then try to get Peterson the single-season rushing record on the next play or two. Sean Payton thinks no one will remember the Vikings made the playoffs, but everyone will remember the Adrian Peterson personal achievement in breaking the single-season rushing record.

Frazier played it exactly right. If the record was going to happen, it'd have to come within the confines of doing everything to try to win the game. This wasn't going to be some cheap Nykesha Sales kind of record.

Or like Brett Favre taking a dive so Michael Strahan can get the single-season sack record? That's probably the first cheap record that comes to a lot of NFL fan's minds, but Peter can't go about criticizing Lord Favre like that. Favre didn't take a dive at all. He just fell. If you believe that...

I told Peterson I liked how he went for the record, but I also liked how he and Frazier didn't do anything to force it.

You mean like run up the score on two teams at the end of the season so your running back and quarterback can achieve personal records? Who ever would do that?

(Sorry to read me constantly complain about that, but Sean Payton had a complete lack of sportsmanship in mind last year over the last two games and I will be over it at the approximate time Payton retires as an NFL head coach...which depending on how the Saints defense plays over the next few seasons could be 2-3 years. From now on, I will do my best to discontinue the angry, bitter criticisms of Payton...maybe.)

Such a tough call. I think it comes down to Manning and Peterson;

I don't know. Replace Peyton Manning with an average quarterback and I can see the Broncos still making the playoffs. After all, they play in a bad division and made the playoffs last year with a running back as their quarterback. Take away Adrian Peterson and replace him with an average running back and do you think the Vikings make the playoffs? I'm not so sure about that.

Quick thoughts on the four games in the Wild Card round:

Well, make it quick. I want to hear more about how you steal headlines from other writers.

Saturday, 4:30 p.m. ET (NBC), AFC: Cincinnati (No.6, 10-6) at Houston (No. 3, 12-4). The Texans have been thinking for weeks they were in line for a first-round bye, and so it has to be demoralizing to know that, instead of getting four or five days off this week, they have to get right back to work -- and on a short week, no less, with the Saturday game -- and prep for Cincinnati.

The reason I don't trust the Texans in the playoffs is because of this. They have lost three out of their last four games and played on Sunday like they just expected the Colts to roll over. I get they may not have wanted to show off any super-special bootleg plays they have in their playbook, but they have to do better than they did on Sunday. So to me, the Texans are a struggling team that seems to lack the ability/movation to win a playoff game right now. Plus, the game is on national television and Matt Schaub usually sucks when he is on national television.

I expect J.J. Watt will have something to say about that. Not only did he have a league-high 20.5 sacks this year, but also he added 39 tackles for loss or no gain on running plays. Think of that: 60 tackles of quarterbacks or backs at or behind the line of scrimmage. Almost four per game. Very close to call, but I'll go with Houston.

J.J. Watt is pretty much the difference in this game according to Peter King. Not a shocking pick or reasoning used coming from Peter.

The Packers can expect limited possessions, because Minnesota's game plan will surely be to have Adrian Peterson eat the clock with carry after carry, and Christian Ponder (with his newfound confidence) throw short and intermediate. If Rodgers is Rodgers, I expect Green Bay to move on.

Yes, but Rodgers was Rodgers on Sunday and the Packers still lost.

My reality: I voted Adrian Peterson for MVP (edging Manning), Peterson and J.J. Watt offensive and defensive player, twin 'Hawks Russell Wilson and Bobby Wagner offensive and defensive rookies, a tie between Manning and Peterson for comeback player,

Adrian Peterson played 75% of the year last year. Give the award to Peyton Manning. It's ridiculous to have Manning and Peterson tie for the Comeback Player of the Year award, but then give the MVP to Peterson. I realize Adrian Peterson coming back from his knee injury was very, very incredible, but he played the majority of the 2011 season. I wouldn't vote for him as Comeback Player of the Year.

and a tie between Chuck Pagano and Bruce Arians as coach of the year.

Just give the damn award to Bruce Arians. He coached the Colts for nearly the entire season. Yes, we all love Chuck Pagano's story and how inspirational he is, but he didn't coach the entire year. I don't see a reason to split the Coach of the Year vote in this situation. Just give it to Arians. You aren't being an asshole by not having Pagano share it with Arians.

Remember when we all looked at the Vikings' schedule a month ago, and we said the Vikings would never survive December, with Green Bay twice, Chicago once and Houston and St. Louis on the road? With Percy Harvin out for the year and Christian Ponder playing like -- Jimmy Johnson's words, not mine -- the worst quarterback in the league (non-Sanchez division, of course), what real hope did the Vikings have?

To be fair to Mark Sanchez, he doesn't have a running back like Adrian Peterson sharing the backfield with him. Without Adrian Peterson I think Christian Ponder could be worse than Mark Sanchez.

Defensive rookie: Bobby Wagner, edging Green Bay cornerback Casey Hayward and Carolina linebacker Luke Kuechly. Wagner turned a suspect group of Seattle linebackers, the weak point of the Seahawks defense, into a competitive group by being great against the run (more tackles than Patrick Willis) and good dropping into coverage (three interceptions, excellent instincts).

I'm not saying Kuechly should be Defensive Rookie of the Year, but once he took over from Jon Beason as the middle linebacker the Panthers defense went from the lower 20's in total defense to being #10 in the NFL in total defense. Kuechly had 24 more tackles than Wagner, recovered three more fumbles, had one less interception than Wagner but had more passes defensed and stuffs, and also had excellent instincts. Okay, maybe I am saying Kuechly should be Defensive Rookie of the Year. Either way, I don't care really, but if Peter wants to use this criteria then he should also acknowledge Kuechly was better than Wagner in nearly every important defensive category. Of course Wagner's team made the playoffs, which we all know is very important when discussing individual awards.

Coach: Some might pick Arians alone; some might pick one of many other deserving candidates. Some might say Pagano was 2-2 in the games he coached;

Some people may throw out "facts" or obvious reasons that Peter's line of thinking is wrong, but what these people don't understand is the emotion of the pick. Exclude all of the facts as to why Arians should win this award alone and just base it on emotion. That's all Peter King asks.

After traveling to Indianapolis in November for an SI story on the unexpected rise of the Colts in the absence of the leukemia-stricken Pagano, I saw how involved Pagano was. Scores of texts and phone calls, hours of watching practice tape, every day, while the chemotherapy flowed into a port in his chest ... And when I was out with GM Ryan Grigson one night, the phone rang, and it was Pagano. He was telling Grigson to remember to get a ball painted for reigning AFC Defensive Player of the Week Darius Butler, a player Pagano had never met. In other words, he was painstakingly involved in everything that happened with the team this season. Arians, 9-3 in his absence, was the hands-on coach who piloted the Colts into the playoffs. There you have the reason for my split vote.

The Colts trainer and assistant GM is also involved with the day-to-day operations of the team. Should they also share the Coach of the Year award with Bruce Arians? I get Pagano did some scouting and coaching from the sidelines, but Bruce Arians was the day-to-day head coach. It takes nothing away from Pagano and his fight against leukemia if he doesn't share this award with Bruce Arians.

Fine Fifteen

2. New England (12-4). One win by the Broncos and one by the Patriots ... That's all that stands in the way of a Peyton Manning-Tom Brady AFC Championship Game Jan. 20.

And really, after that game is there a reason to even play the Super Bowl? It would just be a let-down.

4. Green Bay (11-5). Tough one to lose at the Metrodome, but I don't see the loss hurting the Pack in the wild-card rematch at Lambeau.

As long as Rodgers is Rodgers. If you don't know exactly what that means, you aren't the only one.

7. Washington (10-6). I can see Seattle defensive coordinator Gus Bradley and his staff firing up the tape this morning and wondering how they're going to stop the unstoppable Redskin in their wild-card meeting Sunday. "Anybody got any ideas about putting a lid on Alfred Morris?'' he'll ask.

And? There has to be more, Peter! You have set up the beginning of an absolutely enthralling novel and just end it like that without any resolution?

15. St. Louis (7-8-1). A total makeover, and still Steven Jackson proved he's the perfect back for Jeff Fisher. He needs to return in 2013, and he sounds like he will.

Since Peter and Jeff Fisher share the same agent, the fact Peter talks up the Rams nearly every week isn't suspicious at all.

"Sean Payton might want to invest some of that $8 million in buying a defense for next year.''

-- Jim Szoke of the Carolina Radio Network, as the Panthers ran through the Saints Sunday, as relayed by ESPN NFC South blogger Pat Yasinkas from New Orleans.

Poking the bear that is Sean Payton never gets old to me. Well, it probably will get old at some point (and I know, I know, we are currently at that point), but I still enjoy it. I heard all year that the Saints defense was having trouble grasping the intricacies of Steve Spagnuolo, but I think it is more possible the Saints defense just wasn't very good during the 2012 season.

Sean Payton can't start working with his team again until approximately April 19, the start of the official Saints' offseason program, and that must be maddening for such a micromanaging worker bee. But when he does, he has to start working anew with Drew Brees on his efficiency.

Yes, Sean Payton should work on the quarterback who threw for 5000 yards this year, while ignoring the defense that gave up over 7000 yards of offense to opposing teams.

I've heard Payton noticed one glaring thing about Brees when he watched Saints' games this year while serving his year suspension -- how many times he took chances downfield when the chances really were long shots, and when his focus should have turned from the deep ball to the checkdown or intermediate ball. That's a big reason his completion percentage without Payton was a shell of what it was with him.

Drew Brees completion percentage was 63%. Yes, he had a higher completion percentage with Payton as his head coach, but it isn't like Brees was terrible. Brees is a terrific quarterback and will be fine. If anything, Sean Payton needs to notice from watching Saints games is how the hell he is going to fix the Saints defense.

Then Peter writes a travel note about someone else's traveling difficulties. It's bad enough when Peter tells us about his travel issues during a given week, but relaying a travel note from a sportswriter who isn't himself seems like something that is completely irrelevant for Peter's readership.

"Brings new meaning to the term 'the whole nine yards.' "

-- @LATimesfarmer, football writer Sam Farmer of the Los Angeles Times, just after Adrian Peterson finished nine yards shy of breaking Eric Dickerson's single-season rushing record.

Apparently this was such an interesting Tweet that Peter felt compelled to steal it and then tease us about why he stole it. A lot of buildup for this one.

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 17:

c. On the first play of Colts-Texans, it was fitting J.J. Watt broke through the line and broke up the handoff play, leading to a one-yard loss.

Yes, it was very fitting. Then after that? What did Watt do after that Peter "Cherry-Pick" King? He had three more tackles and a pass defensed. Much like the Texans team as a whole, Watt started off strong and then didn't do a whole lot after that. It's not terrible for a defensive lineman to only have four tackles, but Peter picks one play and then tries to make it seem like Watt had a terrific game.

d. Rueben Randle. Two touchdowns in the first nine minutes. Just 21 years old.

Wow, more fun with numbers. Peter leaves out the fact Randle had 250 yards and one touchdown prior to this game. Randle may have a bright future, but two touchdowns in the first nine minutes of one game does not a career make.

n. Michael Crabtree: eight catches, 172 yards, two touchdowns. We're seeing the dawn of a great receiver's career, I believe.

Yes, and he is only 25 years old. I hope Michael Crabtree makes the Hall of Fame so Gregg Easterbrook can continue to pretend he didn't invent the "Crabtree Curse" and didn't repeatedly tell us Michael Crabtree was dragging the 49ers team down.

2. I think this is what I didn't like about Week 17:

b. Nnamdi Asomugha, who has had 17 forgettable (but profitable) months as an Eagles savior.

Remember back when Peter King said Asomugha was a Top 10 NFL player? I do and I bet Peter King would like to forget that comment.

h. Too many officials look too heavy to me.

Pot, meet kettle. Of course Peter's job doesn't require him to keep up with world-class athletes, but that shouldn't really matter. Either way, NFL officials are probably in better shape than Peter King.

It's absurd that a guy gets in on name recognition while missing 44 percent of the games one year and 38 percent of the game in another year. That's one of many reasons -- but a big one -- why I treat the Pro Bowl with back-of-the-hand deference. It deserves it.

I could probably get upset about my favorite team's Pro Bowl snubs, but that would mean I think the Pro Bowl actually means something for me to get worked up over it. The Pro Bowl is pointless and I haven't watched it in a decade. I don't need voters to tell which players are the best at each position. There are better measurements to tell me this then what a popularity contest tells me. 

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. You never told me about Homeland.

Because it is the responsibility of Peter's readers to inform him of what is or is not a good television show. We are all Peter's servants who only exist to hear his weekly complaints and give him information upon demand. If Peter is a fan of television and hasn't heard how good "Homeland" is then that's on him.

Daughter Laura gave me the first season of the show on DVD for Christmas,

On DVD? I didn't realize it was 2002.

c. Saw two movies over the holidays. Silver Linings Playbook I liked a lot; Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence were superb, and the story felt real. And I saw on a movie channel Contagion, the doomy Matt Damon/Laurence Fishburne job. Liked that one too, particularly the way the contagion is researched and sourced back to bats.

Thank you for updating us on the movies you watched recently. Of course I shouldn't expect anything different from a man who tells us in-depth about his bowel troubles while on a plane.

g. Coffeenerdness: Just my luck Sunday to get behind the Parisians with the $47 order in line at Starbucks in Manhattan. They must love that bisciotti. Got nine of them.

I know. Peter is such an unlucky guy. He gets paid enough money to purchase expensive, mediocre coffee everyday. Gosh, when will Peter ever get a break in his life?

Among those we lost in a particularly sad year for deaths:

Is this as opposed to a year that doesn't have a lot of sad deaths? I remember back in 2005 when it wasn't really sad to have a bunch of people die. These people all deserved to die. 2012 though? What a sad year for deaths.

Vidal Sassoon, hair guy. Cut and sprayed a lot of famous people's hair.

Thanks for the tribute, Peter. Touching and heartfelt.

Why even do these eulogies if Peter is going to be snide about some of the deaths? What does it contribute?

Donna Summer, singer. She worked hard for the money.

Yes, she did Peter. Yes, she did. I'm surprised Peter didn't get a chance to speak at Donna Summer's funeral. I'm getting teary right now just thinking about song titles he would have magnificently placed into his tribute to her.

Adieu Haiku

BobGriff v Wilson
Wild Card dream is coming true.
Will Obama watch?


Will Obama watch?
Who cares? Real question might be
Will Texans show up?