At his locker in the visitors’ quarters Saturday night, not long before the clock struck midnight at Ford Field, stood safety Donte Whitner, the ebullient Cleveland Brown. Not a lot of people would be thrilled to be a Brown. But Whitner, born in Cleveland and educated at Glenville High on 113th Street in the city and then at Ohio State, had to soak it all in Saturday in the bowels of this stadium.
I've soaked in the bowels of things before and it isn't quite as ebullient as Peter is making it to be. The bowels can be quite messy at times.
“I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom for 10 minutes, just staring,” Whitner said. “So strange. Like, I’m a Brown. My heart’s been here, and now I’m here.”
In related news, the Browns were offering Whitner more money than other NFL teams were offering, which helped guide his heart.
Whitner knows what Cleveland the city wants.
It's not hard to figure out. The city wants a winning NFL team and to make the playoffs a few seasons in a row. I'm not even from Ohio and I know this.
Close, with Manziel gaining fast on the turn into home …
There has been one preseason game. One. Yes, there is no turn into home yet. In terms of the offseason the Browns are just approaching third base. Let's let there be at least one more preseason game and then speculate whether Johnny Manziel is the Browns starter or not. I understand that seems way too logical, but there is more football and practice to be played.
This looked clearly to be Hoyer’s gig, at least to start the season. Not anymore. The gap has closed significantly, and Saturday night was Exhibit A why.
Because Manziel puts asses in the seats, increases interest in the team, and has the higher upside then Brian Hoyer might have?
“It’s been fierce,” Whitner said. “Two guys fighting for their lives. It’s close. I’d say [the locker room] is split about 50-50. We know they both can play.”
The locker room is split 50-50 on which quarterback should be the starter. What could go wrong in this situation when half the locker room wants one quarterback to start and the other half wants another quarterback to start? Fortunately, this story is almost over and the turn into home is gaining fast.
But it hurt him on a fourth-and-short when he rolled right and ran for the sticks, bypassing what would have been a medium- to big-gain throw to fullback Ray Agnew; Manziel barely made the necessary yard for a first down.
Which is the point isn't it? The point is to gain the first down on fourth down? If Manziel had thrown to Agnew and Agnew dropped the pass or the pass was off-target then writers like Peter would be talking about how Manziel needs to trust his natural athleticism and run for the first down.
That’s not a smart way in the NFL because it’s just going to get him hit more. And at his size, the object is to let the other offensive guys get hit, not him.
Agreed, but he did get the first down and keep the chains moving. I've never heard of Ray Agnew, but I may have run for the first down also if I was Manziel.
The fact that Manziel is close heading into one of the last tests Monday night against Washington (Browns coach Mike Pettine ideally would like to name a starter by game three of the preseason) is surprising.
Two things:
1. Maybe the turn to home is coming fast if Pettine is trying to name a starter after the next preseason game, but why is it surprising Manziel is close to Hoyer? I like Hoyer, but he's not the future in Cleveland, he's not the exciting quarterback and he's not selling tickets. Manziel is. So if the competition is close, Manziel may be the starter.
2. Supposing Manziel does win the quarterback job, are we going to get written columns from guys like Ross Tucker and Gregg Doyel that their whole "Manziel is partying too much and should be more focused on studying" narrative was wrong and somehow Manziel has found a way to have a good time and study the Browns' playbook? Manziel is who he is, so if he manages to gain ground on Hoyer I think it would be nice if those sportswriters who wrote "Manziel is partying to much, the Browns are concerned and oh my God there is a picture of him with alcohol" columns would write an "I was wrong" column. It won't happen of course. Sportswriters jump to conclusions when they are right, but hold out for judgment when they feel they could be wrong.
Manziel wasn’t entirely sure of himself, and he was making a few mental errors and not playing with his usual confidence in practice. The Browns wondered if he’d come back in top mental and physical shape.
It's almost like he is a rookie quarterback who was in college just a few months earlier.
But how much difference is Hoyer’s experience, really? He’s thrown 193 NFL passes and started four games. This isn’t the Arizona Kurt Warner we’re talking about.
Simply having been in the NFL for multiple seasons is how Hoyer has gained experience. Quarterbacks learn and improve simply by being in an offensive system and being familiar with how the NFL works in terms of the season-long grind and what is expected of a starting quarterback.
One more “but” for Manziel: He can’t be running at Saturday’s rate—six times in six series—and survive. Which he knows. “Obviously,” he said, “that’s not the plan, for me to get that many carries every week. The better I get at progressions, the more I get comfortable with the play calls and the scheme and what we’re trying to do and pre-snap looks, the more and more I continue to get better over time. And less and less running. Hopefully that will weed out.”
Oh no! Manziel said "weed" in a sentence. He's referring to marijuana! Are you a pothead Manziel?
Whitner said. “Very respectful. He’s earning his keep so far. He’s not asking for any privileges. He’s just a rookie, and he’s acting like one. When we have the rookie show, he’ll sing just like the rest of them. As far as football goes, I’m seeing him put the ball on the money like a veteran. Sometimes the receiver drops it. Sometimes the receiver isn’t even looking for the ball and it bounces off him.
Son of a bitch. It sounds like the Browns big issue isn't the quarterback position, but who the hell is going to catch the football when Hoyer/Manziel throws it to them. Good grief. Whitner is like, "Sometimes the receiver is eating a burrito while running the pass pattern and isn't paying attention to the play call. On occasion the receiver has his hands in his pockets while running a route and doesn't bother taking them out of his pockets to catch the football. In fact, we actually don't have wide receivers on the 90 man roster right now."
On the field, he was the spitting image of the Texas A&M Manziel, throwing BBs and running when he wanted. I thought he’d be a bit tentative and not as decisive as, say, he was against Alabama in his defining college games. Not at all. He was who the Browns drafted.
What a complete and utter shock! So Peter is reporting that the quarterback who was known in college for his confidence and inability to feel pressure in big games doesn't feel pressure in an NFL exhibition game or in practice? In fact, Manziel is playing quarterback like he did with Texas A&M? How unforeseen! I thought for sure Johnny Manziel would start throwing the football left-handed or be too shy to talk in the huddle once he reached the NFL.
When he finished showering and dressing (white button-down Oxford shirt, dress jeans)
Thanks Fashion Police. I read MMQB to find out what the players are wearing after the game. "JOHNNY, WHO ARE YOU WEARING TONIGHT? OTHER THAN ONE OF THE TWO BLONDES THAT ARE ON EACH ARM, OF COURSE (PETER HI-FIVES DON BANKS)!"
after the game, he stood at his locker and quietly talked on his phone or talked to a couple of the team PR guys softly. In front of the press, it was all about the team, and about progress.
Buzz Bissinger is already preparing his "Johnny Manziel is too team-oriented to win a Super Bowl because he doesn't enjoy talking about himself" article for whichever newspaper is offering him the most money to do a hack job on Manziel.
“We need him to be Johnny Football,” Whitner said.
Well, Johnny Football for the foreseeable future runs for the first down, gets hit more than he needs to and will probably go to a bar in the next seven days. He's the same guy he was at Texas A&M right now, which apparently surprises the shit out of nearly every sportswriter in America.
Michael Sam has been one of the most famous people in America over the past six months, since he announced he would try to become the first openly gay player to win a spot on an NFL team.
I honestly would forget Michael Sam was in the NFL if I wasn't constantly reminded by every sportswriter that goes to the Rams camp that Michael Sam is in the NFL and is not a heterosexual. Michael Sam hasn't been out in the public eye and simply wants to be a football player. The sports media will not have that. They have to point out what a HUGE story his being in the NFL is and that Michael Sam has done a great job of blending in, despite the media's attempts to not allow this to be the case.
The Rams picked him in the seventh round of the May draft,
I HAD NOT HEARD ABOUT THIS! PLEASE RECAP THIS EVERY TIME YOU MENTION THE RAMS!
What's irritating to me about this is that Peter King is doing exactly what Michael Sam does not want him to do. Sam has shown he doesn't want attention and would like to just fit in with the team. But no, despite the key to the Rams season being Sam Bradford's health and performance, Peter's takeaway from the Rams camp is mostly about how Michael Sam is fitting into the team. Peter will NOT allow Sam to just be another football player. He's not the only sportswriter who does this. In terms of the Rams team having success this year, Michael Sam is a small part of this, but for some reason most of the coverage Peter provides in MMQB is about Michael Sam. Talk football in MMQB. Michael Sam is brave and great, but as a fan, I want to know about the Rams team, not about a 7th round backup defensive end who may or may not make the team.
That’s the football news coming out of St. Louis on Sam. The social news is better than I thought it would be. Far better. Sam’s been like wallpaper. Unnoticed, fits in well. He’s said no to every national interview request—Katie Couric, Anderson Cooper, everyone—and will continue to do so, I’m told. “The only time we talk about the story,’’ Jeff Fisher said, “is when someone from the media comes in and asks about it. I can’t emphasize enough how smooth and uneventful it’s been. Mike has been great.”
If it weren't for the fact that Jeff Fisher needs the media to keep propping him up as a top NFL head coach, he might just point out more angrily that Sam is only a story because the media desperately wants to make it a story. Michael Sam wants to just fit in, but the sports media will not have that. They want to talk about his story at length now and then in a couple of years marvel at how no one cared about the second gay player to be on an NFL team and it wasn't a huge story. You know what, Sam is only a story because sportswriters like Peter want to make him a story. To me, he's just a football player trying to make an NFL team. I'm a fan. I don't care if he has sex with sea turtles, mostly because I know there are dozens of other NFL players that do nasty sexual things that would make Michael Sam's relationship with his boyfriend look tame in comparison. Personal lives are great, but I watch the NFL for the football. Can we talk about that?
“What he’s doing,’’ said former NFL player Wade Davis, who came out as gay after his short pro career, ‘is saying, ‘Everyone knows I’m gay, and let’s not make it the secret no one talks about.’ It’s Michael Sam fitting in.
The fact the Rams team confronts Michael Sam's sexuality mostly when the media asks them about it probably eludes Peter King.
The Rams made no special accommodations for Sam, and he asked for none.
For God's sake, he's gay, not physically handicapped. What accommodations would Peter expect Sam to ask for? I really want to know this.
Sam played 33 snaps and seemed to tire near the end of the game. But he had two strong rushes, one on a fast outside move—he dropped 13 pounds to 257 in the month before camp. He needed to be faster, he thought, and so he lost weight and got a smidge quicker.
Enough about this football shit, start talking about how Michael Sam is fitting in and continue pushing the story that you constantly say isn't a story until you bring it up again.
The fact that he had just made history, as the first openly gay player in the league, was secondary in his mind all night.
Maybe the fact Peter refuses to discuss Sam Bradford, who is the real key to the Rams success this year, will help Bradford in some way. I can't wait until the Rams go 6-2 and Peter writes a column about how NOBODY was focused on Sam Bradford in the preseason because WE WERE ALL focused on Michael Sam and that Sam Bradford's improvement was the real key to the Rams 6-2 start.
Barring injury, eight St. Louis defensive linemen (Robert Quinn, Chris Long, Williams Hayes and Eugene Sims at end, Michael Brockers, Kendall Langford, Aaron Donald and Alex Carrington at tackle) are likely to make the team. Jeff Fisher is likely to keep nine defensive linemen, though depending on special-teams contributions from other spots he could keep as few as eight or as many as 10. Say it’s nine.
It's nine. There, I said it.
Sam’s doing everything right. Now he needs a big hit on a quarterback in the final three games, or a few pressures from his lighter weight making him faster. Said Rams VP of football operations Kevin Demoff last week:
(Peter's cell phone rings) "This is Peter! How can I help you?"
(Marvin Demoff) "I hate how you answer the phone. You are at Rams camp. Get at least one quote from my son, please."
(Peter King) "Mr. Demoff, I will do---Hello? It hurts me when you hang up on me, Marvin."
“He’s got four games to prove he belongs.” Three now.
THE TURN TO HOME IS CLOSE!
Extra points from the 15. Two got missed in 16 games over the weekend. Good. The extra point should be harder, and I don’t consider kicking from the 33 much of a hardship.
Well, this is a misleading statistic because the Panthers backup kicker missed an extra point. Their regular kicker, Graham Gano probably wouldn't have missed the kick, which means one would have gotten missed in 16 games.
The Competition Committee wants it to be a play that matters, with something on the line—not a 99.6 percent sure thing, which it is now.
What do the fans want? Do the fans want a game decided on a missed extra point that counts for three points if it were a field goal attempt? Do the fans want Andrew Luck to drive 90 yards in two minutes to score a touchdown only to have the game lost because his kicker couldn't hit the extra point? I recognize that the kicker is part of a football team, but something in that scenario doesn't seem right to me.
Matthew Stafford had better stay healthy. I can’t imagine the Lions doing anything but mailing in the rest of the season if Dan Orlovsky, a heck of a nice guy, had to play. He just can’t do it, as Saturday night’s performance at Ford Field illustrated.
I don't know how Dan Orlovsky is still in the NFL. Does he have compromising pictures of someone high up in the league office?
Completion percentages, by season, in Jake Locker’s college (University of Washington) and NFL (Tennessee) career:
A few years ago I covered how Chris Palmer was trying to make Jake Locker a more accurate quarterback. I expressed that I wasn't sure this could happen because quarterbacks don't always go from a 54% college passer over four years to a 60% passer in the NFL. Peter was more optimistic than I was.
| Year | Team | Pct. | Attempts |
| 2007 | Washington | .473 | 155 |
| 2008 | Washington | .538 | 93 |
| 2009 | Washington | .584 | 394 |
| 2010 | Washington | .554 | 332 |
| College total | .540 | 1,147 | |
| 2011 | Tennessee | .515 | 66 |
| 2012 | Tennessee | .564 | 314 |
| 2013 | Tennessee | .607 | 183 |
| NFL total | .572 | 563 |
Well, Locker has improved, but the struggle continues. He wasn't an accurate quarterback at Washington and he hasn't been totally accurate in the NFL either. Of course it doesn't help he can't stay healthy.
Average completion percentage across the NFL last year: .612. In six college and pro seasons, Locker has never reached that number.
“His stats are what he is,’’ said new coach Ken Whisenhunt. “But that doesn’t mean he can’t change.”
It sort of does though. Locker is improving, but he's never been an accurate passer and that's fine. Just don't act like after seven NFL and college seasons he is going to suddenly start throwing at a 65% clip.
Whisenhunt has participated in the career upturns of Ben Roethlisberger, Kurt Warner and Philip Rivers.
But they were all quarterbacks who threw the ball at a higher completion rate in college than Locker did. They went from average to really good, not below average to average. That's the point. Maybe getting to average is where Locker will be after his career upturn. It's not being critical of Locker, it could just be a fact about his play at the quarterback position. Being healthy is more important than his accuracy if you ask me.
“Do you think Jake’s your quarterback of the future?” I said.
“I hope so,’’ Whisenhunt said.
Jake Locker must be blushing from receiving such praise from Whisenhunt. What a vote of confidence.
“I have tremendous confidence in what we’re doing, and I think if you throw the ball with conviction you’re going to be a more accurate thrower,’’ Locker said.
Yes Jake, throwing the ball with more conviction will make you a better passer. That's why Cam Newton is so successful at throwing the ball 10 feet over the receiver's heads, because he throws with such conviction.
The Kansas City quarterbacks witness Bengals quarterback Matt Scott puke through his facemask. Taking a shotgun snap, he pukes again.
“I did it before,” said Scott, the former Arizona Wildcat, still energized, walking off the field a little wobbly after the game. “Against USC. I got hit hard, puked, and threw a touchdown pass on the next play. Then they took me out.” Turns out he shouldn’t have been in the game after the hit. He’d been concussed.
College athletics everyone! Always looking out for their "student-athletes."
Fast-forward two days. Tough business, the NFL. Scott is already number four on the Bengals’ QB depth chart, and Cincinnati signed another passer, Tyler Wilson, for camp competition on Saturday.
Did Peter expect the Bengals to keep Scott simply because he threw up and then threw a touchdown pass? Also, it's Tyler Wilson. I don't think Mike Scott should be too concerned.
Andy Reid Self-Parody Department: Pre-Reid, Kansas City ranked first in the league, running on 50 percent of first downs in 2012. That plummeted to 33 percent (30th) last season, Reid’s rookie Chiefs’ year.
That's not Andy Reid doing self-parody, that's how he runs his offense. At least the Chiefs don't have a good running back that could carry the football and their strength on offense lies in their quarterback. That's reassuring for Chiefs fans to know as the 2014 begins.
“I thought we’d come out and be sharper than that and execute better than that. Disappointed in the way that we played.”
—Oakland coach Dennis Allen, after Matt Schaub’s three series in the first preseason game at Minnesota ended in punt, punt, punt … and without a first down.
I wonder if Dennis Allen ever wakes up in a cold sweat and says, “Mark Davis is going to fire me after three years and I never had a quarterback who gave me a chance to win.”
Has anyone seen Jake Delhomme and Matt Schaub in the same room at the same time? Also, Matt Schaub is making $8 million this year. I assume if he gets benched then Peter will start railing on him weekly for being a complete waste of a human body, just like he did to Josh Freeman last year. Right? He'll do this? After all, Freeman wasn't even making $8 million to do nothing for the Vikings.
“We don’t have any glaring holes. We do have a glaring lack of experience.”
—Les Snead, the general manager of the Rams, to me. St. Louis had the youngest roster in the NFL last season, and likely will again this year.
Jeff "8-8" Fisher can't be expected to turn the Rams around in such a short time. The Rams are building something special, just give Fisher more time. That's all he needs. The Rams are young, in a tough division, and just need more time to become a great team. After all, how often does a coach like Jeff Fisher put aside all those things he has to do in order to coach your team? By the way, Fisher has almost the same record in two years with the Rams as the "hot seated" Joe Philbin and has nearly the same career winning percentage as Ron Rivera and Rex Ryan. Interesting how the hot seat works in the NFL doesn't it? Rivera and Ryan were one bad season away from being fired, while Fisher is pretty freaking comfortable in St. Louis. But as Peter would point out, I'm being hard on Jeff Fisher. The Rams are young and in the NFL you can't turn a team around in two years. It's impossible.
Then Peter gets excited and starts deciding which teams will dominate the 2015 NFL Draft because of how many picks they have. Remember that it was August 11 when Peter King started talking about the 2015 draft. Remember this when Peter is bitching and moaning about all of the 2015 NFL Draft discussion in March 2015. He's part of the problem.
Chip Kelly Wisdom of the Week
(Makes wanking motion with his hand)
“Seriously, the depth chart, I don’t care. I think [Eagles director of public relations] Derek [Boyko] did it. I mean, it’s absolutely nothing. I know we’re going to get questions on it, and I’ll be honest with you, I do not care how that’s listed. I said a long time ago, it’s written in sand, it’s written in water, it can be written in anything. That depth chart means absolutely nothing. The only reason we make one is because they [NFL officials] tell us to make one.’’
Deep thoughts. I'm glad Peter took the time to pass on this wisdom. At least Peter didn't leave out any information in MMQB about NFL teams he visited on his camp tour in order to include this Chip Kelly quote, like he did last week.
So if Johnny football kill tonight y'all gonna say "it's just preseason". If he doesn't y'all gonna say he don't belong. Smh
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) August 9, 2014
Everyone’s an expert. Everyone’s a media expert. I do believe, Kevin, that there won’t be much of finality judged after a first preseason game.
Peter wrote previously in this MMQB that he has only watched television once during his training camp tour, which means he hasn't seen ESPN's extensive coverage of Johnny Manziel pretty much doing anything. So yeah, Peter, everyone is a media expert, but some people are paying attention of late. Peter claims there won't be much finality judged after a first preseason game. I don't know, it seemed that way sometimes when turning on ESPN this weekend. Also, in this very MMQB Peter King wrote the following about Manziel:
Whitner said all the right things about the competition between Hoyer and Manziel, which does appear close in the wake of Saturday’s preseason opener here. Close, with Manziel gaining fast on the turn into home … which no one expected a month ago. This looked clearly to be Hoyer’s gig, at least to start the season. Not anymore. The gap has closed significantly, and Saturday night was Exhibit A why.
Manziel outplayed Hoyer in the 13-12 loss to Detroit, but the rookie (seven of 11 for 64 yards and no touchdowns or picks, six carries for 27 yards) was a B and the vet a C or C-plus. Not enough to tip the scales, yet. But from the first throw of the two quarters he played—a lasered eight-yard out route to Anthony Armstrong—Manziel was the player he’d been at Texas A&M in terms of confidence and running the game his way.
The fact that Manziel is close heading into one of the last tests Monday night against Washington (Browns coach Mike Pettine ideally would like to name a starter by game three of the preseason) is surprising.
Too much confidence? I saw the right amount on the field, and, for what it’s worth, humility off it. On the field, he was the spitting image of the Texas A&M Manziel, throwing BBs and running when he wanted.
Not too much finality after a first preseason game, right Peter? Except Mike Pettine wants to make a decision prior to the third preseason game and you wrote at length about how Manziel outplaying Hoyer against the Lions in the preseason game Kevin Durant was referring to helped close the gap between the two quarterbacks. "No finality in that first preseason game," says Peter King, as he discusses how Manziel now has a shot to start for the Browns in Week 1 because of his performance in the first preseason game.
2. I think these three things struck me about the Washington-New England joint practices last week:
Crowds of more than 20,000 two days in a row? In Richmond, Va.? That’s the power of the NFL, and of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and the Washington brand in Virginia. Startling still, though.
I know! It's not like there are a ton of Redskins fans in Virginia or anything like that. But in Richmond, Virginia? That's a tiny town of 214,000 people with 1.2 million in the metropolitan area of Richmond. It's amazing the fans made the really long 100 mile (approximately) journey from Washington, D.C. to see these two teams have two joint practices in such a little country town. It doesn't take much to startle Peter King I guess.
Then Peter uses the words of Don Banks to show just how amazingly popular these joint practices were. It's almost like football is a really popular sport or something. It's also almost like Tom Brady and the Patriots are a popular team to watch play football. Who would have thought this to be true?
3. I think you could have knocked me over with a feather when I heard the Scott Mitchell news the other day. NBC announced that the former Dan Marino backup and free-agent millionaire (five years, $25 million) Detroit quarterback Scott Mitchell will be a contestant on “The Biggest Loser” show.
Peter was all like, when he heard the news that Scott Mitchell was obese now. If somebody had a feather, granted a feather that was really, really large, it would have knocked Peter over.
Mitchell is 6-foot-6. He weighed 238 pounds as a player. He weighs 366 now. That’s a 128-pound inflation. Twenty years ago this season, Mitchell signed a five-year, $25-million contract with the Lions. I covered his free-agent search for Sports Illustrated, and I remember he was the hot guy in free agency that year.
Matt Flynn was the hot guy in free agency. Matt Cassel was traded for a second round pick. There is no correlation between a quarterback being widely wanted and this quarterback not becoming obese later in his life.
Then he threw a two-point conversion pass to Moore to tie. Marino came right back and led a winning field goal drive. The final: Miami 33, Detroit 30. I mean, for a while, Scott Mitchell was a player. Thus the triple-take when you hear, “Scott Mitchell weighs 366 and will be on ‘The Biggest Loser’ this season.”
I don't understand at all. So because Scott Mitchell was a good quarterback in the NFL for a while this means it is more shocking that he gained weight after his playing career was over? So quarterbacks who are bad in the NFL should be gaining more weight in retirement than quarterbacks who are successful in the NFL? I was surprised Scott Mitchell weighed 366 pounds just because I had not heard his name in a while, but at no point did I think, "He was good at football for an hour or two, how did he gain so much weight?"
4. I think it’s early (about three months early) to start talking about 2015 head-coaching candidates,
Which means Peter is going to immediately start talking about 2015 head-coaching candidates. That's how these things work.
but I hope Kansas City special-teams coordinator Dave Toub gets a legitimate chance next year. You never know if a special-teams guy can follow in John Harbaugh’s footsteps, but Toub’s such an impressive coach and person.
Since it's too early to start talking about 2015 head-coaching candidates, then it's too early for my snark about Peter recommending another white guy to be a "legitimate" head-coaching candidate when I know he will at some point write his yearly MMQB section about how the NFL wants to focus on minority candidates that are qualified to be NFL head coaches. I've noticed that for someone who thinks the NFL needs to do more to get minority candidates head coaching jobs, Peter recommends a lot of white guys as future head-coaching candidates. Just an observation.
9. I think I won’t be shocked if the Patriots cut Ryan Mallett … or get a seventh-round pick for him from someone.
But Peter, haven't you read the Twitter where some sportswriters were talking up Mallett and how he's looked pretty good like it's their job to do so?
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
b. Get to know Indians pitcher Corey Kluber.
You get to know Corey Kluber. Simply because you recently discovered how well he is pitching doesn't mean everyone else was as far behind as you are.
g. Coffeenerdness: Raise your coffee game, Marriott Towne Place Suites.
Quit bitching about free coffee, Peter King. If you want good coffee, go buy some good coffee.
i. Went to my first funeral with full military honors, for my uncle, Andy Keir, an Army veteran, in Enfield, Conn., last week. Hadn’t heard the Star-Spangled Banner in a church before, and had never seen the flag being handed to the widow, and had never heard graveside taps at a funeral. I have to say, I loved it all.
It's so lovely when veterans die! What an entertaining ceremony their funeral can be!
j. A note on the discourse in this country, and on social media, in the wake of my Cam Newton column last week. I accept the fact that some people won’t agree with what I write, or find ulterior motives about why I wrote about an olive branch Newton offered to me. But can we disagree and be critical without telling me to go bleep myself 19 different ways?
Raise your Twitter game, human beings.
The Adieu Haiku
Strongest candidate
to lose QB job pre-Sept?
Money’s on Matt Schaub.
Uh-oh, is Matt Schaub the new Josh Freeman? We'll see, but you know I will stay on the case. Schaub is earning almost four times what Josh Freeman earned to sit the Vikings bench too, so based on that, Peter would have to bash Schaub three or four times for every time he bashed Freeman for being a waste of a human being/football player. Raise your quarterbacking game, Matt Schaub.
