Showing posts with label interviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interviews. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

2 comments MMQB Review: Interview with the NFL Vampire Edition

We still have one open spot in the fantasy baseball league and if anyone wants to join then send me an email to bengoodfella@yahoo.com and I will send you an invite. That will put the league at 10 people and I think that's a good number for this year.

Peter King discussed Darrelle Revis signing with the New York Jets in last week's MMQB. Peter also included a travel note that someone else experienced, and it is always pleasant and fun to read about someone else's experiences third-hand, specifically when the reader doesn't know that person at all. Peter thinks this is one of the zaniest offseasons that he can recall, which if I recall correctly, is something he seems to say every NFL offseason. This week Peter talks with Roger Goodell, shocks us with the conclusion out of work NFL players may be out of work for a reason, and talks briefly about Chris Borland's decision to retire. The real gem is Peter's conversation with Roger Goodell where Goodell reveals absolutely nothing. Of course, since Goodell is ALWAYS open to speaking to the media (as he claimed at the Super Bowl) then I wouldn't expect Goodell to say anything new and an interview with Goodell isn't really a big deal. Right? I mean, Goodell is ALWAYS available to talk with the media, so anything Goodell would say to Peter King is just stuff the public has heard before. He's such an available guy.

Roger Goodell’s season from Hades is over, and don’t expect him to share many memories of the nightmare. I tried the other day, and got nowhere.

Roger Goodell on January 30, 2015.

"I'm available to the media almost every day of my job professionally."

So he became available, good for him. But he won't reveal anything to the media, you know, like he seems to expect Marshawn Lynch to reveal when meeting with the media because:

“When you’re in the NFL, you have an obligation, an obligation to the fans. It is part of your job, and there are things in all of our jobs that we have to do that we don’t necessarily want to do.”

Fortunately, Goodell is in a position where the rules he makes don't apply to him. What a country!

In a 75-minute interview with The MMQB in his Park Avenue office in New York, Goodell seemed at ease and not wounded by the raging torrent of criticism that hounded him from the time he made his decision last July to suspend Baltimore running back Ray Rice for two games for knocking his wife unconscious in a New Jersey elevator. If he is wounded—and how can he not be—he’s not saying.

Why would Roger Goodell be wounded by the criticism? To be wounded would be to assume that Goodell (a) cares what anyone thinks about him or (b) is self-aware enough to understand that his decisions aren't sent down by tablet from God himself and that he very well could be fallible. Goodell hasn't shown that either assumption can be seen as a true characteristic he possesses. 

Asked what his hopes are for 2015, Goodell said: “To some extent it’s that the things that we’re doing are working.

But Goodell is savvy enough to know there’s been damage to the league office, and a lot of it, and he’s going to have to have a damn good 2015 to restore faith in the league—and in him. “We have to meet the expectation of our fans,’’ he said. “They deserve it. We have to show them that their faith and trust in us is well placed.”

Ah yes, the use of "us" and "we" when it's Roger Goodell that many fans lack faith in and he is the one who needs to meet the expectations of the fans. Goodell accepts that salary to be the commissioner, but when things go wrong and the perception of his decisions isn't good, all of a sudden it's a team effort to fix them. 

I’m going to run an edited transcript of Goodell’s remarks to me on Page 2 of the column. But first, a Cliff’s Notes version of the notable things from our conversation:

Goodell is available almost every day to the media, so I'm sure this is all stuff we've heard before.

On whether he ever considered resigning last year: “No. N-O. No.”

Because Goodell would voluntarily give up earning multi-millions and in the process thereby subjugating his ego and admitting he was wrong. Where's the fun in that?

Goodell said he thinks league-hired investigator Ted Wells “is getting near the end” of his probe into the inflation levels of footballs in the AFC Championship Game, a story that’s hung over the Patriots and the league for the past nine weeks.

No really, have him take his time. At this point, few people probably care what Wells finds out and that's probably Goodell's intent anyway.

One storyline during the deflated-balls saga was that the league was trying to catch the Patriots in the act of using the balls, and suspected prior to the AFC title game that the team was taking air out of the footballs before using them in games. Countered Goodell: “I was not personally aware of it until after the game.”

Based on the past year's worth of information about what Goodell claims to know and not know, it seems like Goodell really isn't informed about what's going on in the NFL. It could cause a more jaded person to wonder if Goodell is really that clueless about ongoing NFL investigations and whether a better commissioner would make himself more aware and thereby more accountable. But hey, Goodell can't be accountable if he doesn't possess the required information to be accountable, right?

The NFL is “looking at more games” in 2016 in Europe than the three scheduled in 2015, he said.

Of course the NFL is looking at more games in Europe. Because by golly, if those damn Europeans don't like American football then they'll be forced to like the sport, all in the name of "expansion" and increased profits for the NFL. Sure, NFL ticket holders will lose a few home games, but that's just a small price to pay for the NFL making as much money as possible. It's all in the best interests of the fans...of course.

Goodell said he’s “not concerned” with Jameis Winston, the possible first pick in the draft, staying home in Alabama with his family on draft night instead of being at the draft.

Oh good, so Winston has permission from Roger Goodell to be with his family on draft night. I'm sure Winston will sleep better knowing he has Roger's full go-ahead to spend the draft with his family.

The MMQB: What’s the lesson you take from easily your most trying year as commissioner?
 
Goodell: I don’t know if you could put one or two … One of the things we always focus on is,

Uh-oh, things are going wrong so here comes the use of "we" because the team is wrong, it's not just Roger Goodell who is wrong. Writers like Bill Simmons use "we" when he's wrong, but it's good to see a person like Roger Goodell buy into the team atmosphere in order to shirk responsibility from himself on to "the team" when decisions made by the NFL are wrong as well. Nothing makes a person buy into "we" and the team concept like a wrong or bad decision having been made. I wonder if "we" all have their name on Roger's paycheck?

By the way, Roger's answer contains 10 "we's" and 1 "we're."

Two, in this case, at least in the personal conduct area, we were too reliant on law enforcement. We were completely reliant on law enforcement. We can’t be in this circumstance, because our criminal justice system has to make different types of decisions on different standards. We have to have personal conduct that represents the standards in the NFL.

The NFL did have a personal conduct that represents the standards in the NFL. It's just the public thought these standards were too low, so Roger Goodell had to scramble during the Ray Rice situation in order to pretend the NFL really had higher standards, and he just didn't have enough information to make an informed decision prior to making a decision.

The MMQB: What would you say in 2014 was your low point?

Goodell: I don’t know. I wouldn’t. I haven’t even thought about that.

As I said previously, this would require self-awareness, as well as some sense of reflection. There's no need for Roger Goodell to engage in either tactic because that would be admitting he perhaps he's made a mistake that requires self-awareness or reflection to correct and he isn't willing to do that.

The MMQB: You had a few of them. 
 
Goodell: I just said, I haven’t thought about that.

Hey, let's not get snippy there buddy. I know you have given this information out many times before because you are SO available to the media, but try to have patience when Peter is asking a semi-tough question (which is generally against his nature).

I think when you’re doing this job, you’ve got to do this job and you take highs and lows and you work to address them as quickly as possible and as thoroughly as possible.

So Peter said it had been nine weeks since Ted Wells started looking into the improperly inflated footballs that the Patriots may or may not have been using?

The MMQB: How difficult was it personally on you?

Goodell: We’re sorry we got to the place we got to [and] the way we got to it, but that is something that we now can look back at and build on. … We’re actually starting to see it. People are saying, “People should adopt the personal conduct policy of the NFL in other institutions and other industries.” That’s rewarding to some extent.

I've heard no one say this when this statement wasn't then followed by laughter, as it is clearly a joke designed to poke fun at the NFL.

The MMQB: Did you use anybody in 2014 as what you would call a sounding board, an advisor, to help you through the tough times? 

Goodell: … Well, one of the good things about having those is that you don’t tell people who they are, because then they aren’t quite as open … I think that’s how you develop relationships that are valuable.

It was Tony Dungy, wasn't it?

I don't know if Peter is salty because he is bitter for the whole report he screwed up this summer about Ray Rice and the conversation that went on between Rice, Janay Rice and Roger Goodell, but he does ask Goodell tougher questions when he feels Goodell is saying nothing. Goodell says nothing often.

The MMQB: Speaking of investigations, we’re at the two-month anniversary of the AFC Championship Game and the investigation into allegations that the Patriots deflated the football or footballs in that game. How much thought did you give that you needed to get it resolved so it’s not hanging over the league? It seems like it’s been hanging over the league for two months. Was there any thought in your mind to try to get it resolved that week so that it didn’t mar anything associated with the Super Bowl?
 
Goodell: No. I think the most important thing is to get the right information, to get the facts and to get the truth. And not to make any judgments until you get that. We have been very careful on that.

The MMQB: Any indication when that will be?

Goodell: I haven’t spoken to him for several weeks. I think he’s getting near the end, but there’s no requirement when. …

So there's no requirement when Ted Wells has to actually give the report to the NFL? That's great because it creates an environment of accountability in that the commissioner doesn't seem to have a clue what's going on and he doesn't care when he gets clued in. What Goodell isn't told yet can't hurt him, right?

The MMQB: Is two months to investigate that too long?

Goodell: Again, I think that if you’re going to be thorough, it takes time. You’re having to meet with a lot of people. I guess it’s always too long, because you want to get to that issue and deal with it. It’s important not to exert any pressure to short-circuit or do anything other than be fair and transparent.

Yes, be transparent. It's very important. Did Roger Goodell say this as he destroyed Spygate tapes or was he closing his eyes pretending he didn't see the Ray Rice tape when he spoke about transparency?

The MMQB: Can you say that the first time that you heard about this was after the game?

Goodell: Yes.

Goodell can say it. Who knows if it's the truth?

The MMQB: You know that there’s a storyline out there that you knew about the deflating and wanted to catch them in the act.

Goodell: Let’s just short circuit this a little bit. I’m not going to get into what we knew and when we knew it because that’s part of what he’s investigating. … I can tell you that I was not personally aware of it until after the game.

You know, for a powerful man Roger Goodell sure doesn't know a hell of a lot of things the commissioner of the NFL should know before they happen.

What's interesting is that Goodell will talk about how he has no knowledge of an event that is seen as a negative for the NFL, but he's quick to point out how he's very proactive and full of information in situations where it makes him look good. In situations where the NFL doesn't look so good, Goodell is kept in the dark.

The MMQB: Do you get involved much with things like that with the competition committee?

Goodell: I just spent 45 minutes on the phone with [competition committee co-chair] Jeff Fisher last night. I talk with Rich McKay or other committee members, John Mara. …  I’m meeting with them in advance of Sunday.

Roger Goodell is going to meet with the competition committee IN ADVANCE of their meeting to ensure they can talk about what is and what is not a catch. Roger Goodell is dedicated to making sure everyone knows what is and is not a catch. Did the Patriots deflate footballs and affect the fair competition of the game? Fuck if he knows. He's just waiting for someone to give him some information about that subject.

The MMQB: Is it logical to think that you would propose an 18-game schedule at any point in the near future?
 
Goodell: I think it’s one of those things that we’ll continue to evaluate the season structure. … The real short-term focus is on the quality of the preseason. Do we need four preseason games anymore—for competitive reasons or any other reason? And I think that there’s a growing sentiment that you don’t.

It's not a growing sentiment at this point. That sentiment has already grown up, is about to graduate college and is looking for a full-time job.

But can you get this done and can you do it in two or three games? I think that people are more comfortable with three. So do we need that? Okay, that’s one part of the schedule. The rest is the regular season and the rest is the postseason. So I think all of these are interrelated. You have to evaluate all of them. We haven’t spent a lot of time on 18 games in the last couple of years.

It's interesting how much information and research Goodell puts into ideas like the 18 game schedule and what is a catch, while Peter gets short answers as it pertains to questions about deflated footballs and any mistakes the NFL has made.

The MMQB: Is there one city that is really aggressive about having it? 

(The NFL Draft is the topic here)

Goodell: Canton, Ohio. It’s awesome!

It sounds awesome! I think Roger Goodell is moving the draft around just in the hopes that citizens of each city will be so happy to have the draft that they forget to boo him. It's probably also his reason for trying to expand the NFL into London and other European cities. They don't hate them there...yet. 

The MMQB: What leads you to believe that 2015 is going to be a better year for the NFL?
 
Goodell: Well, I think the first part is that we implemented a personal conduct policy in December which we think is responsive to addressing very complex issues where we acknowledged that our policy didn’t deal with those things [domestic violence issues] effectively. We brought in expertise to help us make those decisions going forward. I think there’s clarity to those issues.

Okay, maybe Goodell just says "we" a lot.

It was a competitive year that ended with the most-watched show in the history of television. So fans engaged with our game at an incredibly high level last year. We have to continue to focus on the game of football while making sure that we’re doing the right things off the field—and I’m confident that we will.

Of course Goodell is confident the NFL will do the right things on and off the field. He doesn't even admit to thinking about what the low point of the past season was for him, so like any person who lacks the ability to reflect on his mistakes or admit these mistakes, he lacks a certain perspective.

Not much to report from the first NFL veterans combine.

Takeaways from the inaugural event at the Cardinals’ practice facility in Tempe, where 105 players worked out on Sunday, picked from among 1,800 to 2,000 applicants (according to the league) for workout slots:

The biggest takeaway should be that many of these players aren't signed by an NFL team for a reason. Not playing in the NFL hasn't sharpened their skills either.

2. “There may be a few back-end-of-the-roster training-camp players,” said one GM on hand, “but that’s it.”

It's good the NFL decided to do a veteran's combine and give these guys a chance to prove they can make it in the NFL though. It's not like these veterans had to PAY to work out for NFL tea----

3. Players had to pay a fee to work out for NFL teams. 

Wait, what? These players had to pay to work out for NFL teams? They had to pay real money, not fake Monopoly money? I can't believe this is a real thing that happened. Of course, the NFL does a few things well and one of those things is make money, so I shouldn't be surprised.

There’s something tawdry about that in the first place, for a multibillion-dollar enterprise such as the NFL. If the “prospects” were truly prospects, why are they paying to be seen? If it’s programming for NFL Network, or just another slow-day news story for the league to drag out (some 40 media members covered the show on Sunday), then the veterans combine is not being done for the right reason—the right reason being the league is looking for prospects. Visitors to the event walked away with one overriding thought: That was sad.

It would have been nice if Peter had this information prior to interviewing Roger Goodell so he could ask, "Why in the hell do you make veteran football players pay to try out for NFL teams? You can't use 'money' as an answer either."

I'm not sure what is more sad. The veterans who tried out and didn't look too good or the fact they had to pay to try out.

With the surprising news last week that 24-year-old Niners linebacker Chris Borland was retiring, fearful of what football could do to his long-term health, I think it’s premature to forecast the death of football. But there’s no question the Borland news is a caution flag for the league. To me, the big question is how Borland quitting at his peak and at such a young age will affect the future of the game. There have to be more parents out there questioning whether to let their sons ever play football now.

While I understand why parents wouldn't let their children play football, why would the retirement of Chris Borland affect this decision? I get Borland's retirement is a high profile rejection of a continued NFL career, but it's not like parents now have more information about how dangerous the NFL is prior to Borland's retirement. The sport is dangerous and whether Borland retired or not didn't change that. Sure, he's an example of a football player who doesn't think the sport is worth the long-term damage caused to him, but there are thousands of other football players who choose to play football regardless of the impact on their body. Shouldn't these players also have a large impact on high school players and their decision to play football?

On Friday, I spoke with the coach of the best high school football team in the Bay Area, De La Salle High’s Justin Alumbaugh, to ask him about how his players, and the parents of his players, were reacting to the stunning news about the bright 49er prospect.

“One of our best players was heartbroken about it,” said Alumbaugh. “He seemed sad all day when it happened.”

I would bet this player's sadness stemmed from the fact an emerging young player from his favorite team retired more than it stemmed from his feelings on how dangerous the sport of football is. Borland was on track to be a really good player and fans of his or the 49ers were probably unhappy with his decision to retire.

Alumbaugh has not see a decline in participation numbers at De La Salle. Then again, it’s not likely that one of the great football schools would see kids quit, or new kids not come out for the team.

Nor will there necessarily be a decline in participation on shitty high school teams either, at least not for the next few years. It was one player's decision, and I think it will take more than one retirement to reduce the participation numbers among high school kids, no matter how good the football school is.

I say this with confidence: There is no football player of a certain age who dictated the future ethos of his franchise, who put a lifetime imprint on a franchise and a city, the way Chuck Bednarik did with the Eagles and the city of Philadelphia.

The play that will live in the hearts of so many Eagles fans—including the thousands not alive to see it when it happened—occurred on Nov. 20, 1960, when the Eagles led the Giants late in the fourth quarter, trying to hang on to a 17-10 lead and secure their place atop the Eastern Division of the NFL. 

The Giants were driving, and New York hero Frank Gifford, the Jeter of his day in the big city, caught a pass and headed upfield. Bednarik ran at Gifford and exploded into him chest-first, Gifford falling to the cold turf just as cold as the ground. Then, Bednarik stood over Gifford, and in a rage that would have cost his team 15 yards today, gesticulated at Gifford and screamed something like, “This game is OVER!”

Fast-forward to 15 years ago. I was in Andy Reid’s head-coaching office with the Eagles, and there was a huge rectangular photo on the wall—the shot of Bednarik exulting over the prone and motionless Gifford. Bednarik signed it for Reid.

“This game is f—— over! Chuck Bednarik, HOF 1967’’

And yes, in today's NFL Bednarik would have been suspended a game for his taunting of a fallen player and Skip Bayless would spit out hot takes about what a thug Bednarik is while everyone else agrees there is no place in the game for knocking a player out and then screaming over his body while he lays prone on the ground. But hey, it all turned out well and Bednarik is a hero instead. Let a modern player do this and the hot takes about his thuggery will fly though.

“For the most part, I thought it was a mediocre free-agent class. I think a lot of guys got paid more money than maybe they would have … because there was a lot of cap room.”

—Giants president and co-owner John Mara.

For those who missed it this week, I wrote a companion piece of anecdotal evidence on the over-rating of free agency.

But as I have written a few times during this offseason, the fact Peter considers free agency to be overrated doesn't mean he won't saturate MMQB and his THE MMQB site with coverage of free agency. People like reading about free agency, even if it is overrated. Also, Peter likes making judgments about teams based on overrated free agency.

“Do you know what happened the last time a Ravens player got a DUI? I’m getting cut tomorrow, not like you care.”

—Running back Bernard Pierce, to the officer who arrested him on a charge of driving while intoxicated on Wednesday. He was right. Pierce was cut later in the day, and picked up by the Jaguars.

Times change quickly in the NFL. Two years and one month ago, the key Baltimore backs in the Super Bowl were Ray Rice and Bernard Pierce.

An NFL player can get a DUI and then immediately find another job. What a country!

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Three thoughts about my spring training visit to the Cubs’ new stadium, Sloan Park, in Mesa, Ariz.:

2. Saw a most prodigious home run by Kris Bryant, the star of spring training. He golfed a moon shot deep to left field in the first inning against the Mariners. Off King Felix. Which prompted a fan behind home plate to turn to the press box, presumably where the fan thought GM Theo Epstein would be sitting, and screamed: “Hey Theo! YOU’RE NOT SENDING THIS KID DOWN!” The Cubs can get an extra pre-free-agency year out of Bryant if he starts the season in the minors, which seems patently absurd.

It also seems like this is the result of the CBA the player's union worked out with the owners. Them's the rules, so Bryant spending another couple months in the minors is as absurd as an NFL team signing a player to a $110 million contract and that player only seeing a fraction of that money.

Then Bryant hit a second homer. Don’t want to be a relentless optimist about the Cubbies, 

Which means that Peter will now be optimistic about the Cubbies.

but that teams has some great young bats. Addison Russell, the shortstop acquired in the Jeff Samardzija trade with Oakland last year, also homered.

And you know Peter had no idea who Addison Russell was before attending this spring training game and watching him homer.

3. At so many baseball games—I really noticed it here—it’s like the ticket is a cover charge for the bars around the park.

I'm sure the "baseball is dying" crowd thinks the fans need alcohol in order to make it through the boring baseball game.




This is good advice. It's also advice coming from an NFL player who played 14 seasons in the NFL and earned millions of dollars who is advising NFL players to think ahead 10 years. Wilson didn't didn't think ahead 10 years, so I could look at it as him giving advice he wished he had taken or I could look at this as advice from a player who already earned his millions playing football. It's easier to give this advice knowing you didn't make the decision you are imploring others to make. Perhaps Wilson regrets his decision to keep playing...

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think the best things that will be considered by the 32 team owners this week are:

a. Chicago’s proposal that both teams be guaranteed at least one possession in overtime. (A turnover on the opening kickoff of overtime would count as a possession.)

I don't see why this proposal wasn't implemented a few years ago. I see no reason why each team isn't guaranteed a possession, but the team that gets possession second has to go for a two point conversion if they score a touchdown. That way, there is more strategy involved in winning the coin flip and each team doesn't get multiple possessions in overtime. If the first team that scores goes for a two point conversion, converts, and the second team does the same (which wouldn't happen that often) then both teams have to go for the two point conversion in the second overtime. I like it when both teams get the football in overtime. That's my basic point.

c. Moving the extra point back to the 15-yard line. (At least.)

d. Narrowing the goal posts.

e. Making the line of scrimmage for the extra point or two-point conversion the one-yard line.

Obviously "c" and "e" can't both happen, but I don't like the idea of making the line of scrimmage as the one-yard line. I don't know if this will achieve the intended effect of having teams go for the two-point conversion more often. Also, moving the extra point back to the 15-yard line essentially takes the two-point conversion out of play, unless the NFL wants a rule which says if a team is going for two then they get the ball on the 2-yard line and if a team is trying an extra point then they have to try it from the 15-yard line. That seems dumb to me.

f. Though I supported the Patriots’ right to put a fifth “lineman” reporting as eligible to play anywhere on the field when it was used in the playoffs in January, I think a clearer rule is preferable. “We’re proposing that if an eligible player reports ineligible to the referee, that he must report and then play in a line in the tackle box,” said competition committee co-chair Jeff Fisher. “There was a concern on behalf of a number of clubs and number of coaches and coach [John] Madden’s subcommittee that unless we had some guidelines in place, that this thing may get out of hand.” So, a running back wouldn’t be able to play split wide, ineligible. But a tight end would be able to line up as left tackle.

THE NFL CHANGES THE RULES AFTER THE PATRIOTS WIN THE SUPER BOWL! IT'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW THE PATRIOTS CHEAT IN ORDER TO WIN A TAINTED SUPER BOWL TITLE!

2. I think for those of your cursing me for loving the both-teams-get-a-possession proposal, my thought: The coin flip at the start of overtime still takes on too much significance, even with the receiving team needing a touchdown to win the game instead of simply a field goal. I agree that having to score a touchdown on the first possession of overtime for the game to be over is progress, but it’s still a fact that the vast majority of teams with a choice at the start of overtime are going to choose to receive, not kick off. That’s because having the ball, regardless how good the defense you’re facing, gives a team a better chance to win than playing defense. And the games are too important to give a coin flip such influence. The Packers lost the coin flip of the NFC title game and never saw the ball. I’d make the argument that the odds of Green Bay scoring a touchdown on the first possession of overtime with Aaron Rodgers quarterbacking were more than 50 percent.

True, but I would counter this 50 percent guess by pointing out the Packers did have the football late in the fourth quarter with a chance to score a touchdown and they only came away with a field goal. So I think the 50 percent guess by Peter is simply a guess. I agree with him overall, and I hate how the coin flip is so important too, but he's purely guessing that Rodgers and the Packers would have scored a touchdown on the first possession of overtime. Their fourth quarter offensive performance calls this 50% guess into question.

Remember’s Seattle’s other marquee overtime game last year? Won the coin flip against Denver, went 80 yards on the first possession for the touchdown. Pretty significant factor, the coin flip. Kept the ball out of Aaron Rodgers’ and Peyton Manning’s hands in those two games.

I think Peter really supports this rule change because his boy Peyton Manning was screwed out of a victory by losing the coin flip against Seattle this year and in a playoff game against the Chargers several years ago too. He's still sore about that playoff game against the Chargers I bet.

4. I think the way the Chargers will handle things with Rivers is smart. They’re not going to put any full-court press on him to sign this offseason—though they very much want to sign him to be a Charger for life, wherever the franchise plays long-term. But the club also knows there’s no sense in pressuring Rivers, so they’ve left the ball in his court, basically. He knows they want to talk extension, and if he changes his mind, they’ll let him come to them.

Which is a great strategy until the Chargers realize they can't afford to slap him with the franchise tag and Rivers doesn't come to the Chargers for a new contract so he becomes a free agent and chooses to sign somewhere else. I'm sure some NFL team would pay Philip Rivers if the Chargers just sit back and wait for Rivers to ask for a contract extension.

6. I think the fair thing for Greg Hardy and the Cowboys would be a six-game suspension to start the season. I have no problem with the Cowboys signing him, but his case should be a perfect example of the way the league deals with cases of domestic violence where there is significant evidence that abuse occurs. Even though Hardy sat 15 games last year, he was paid for them, and though I realize that’s a very gray area, imagine if Hardy isn’t suspended. That would mean he’d never missed a paycheck while being found guilty by a North Carolina judge for domestic violence. (The case was never heard by a jury because the victim did not show up for the subsequent trial.)

Hardy was found guilty, but it wasn't the exact same thing as a guilty verdict in this situation. It's a bizarre North Carolina law, but Hardy was never found guilty by a jury of his peers that heard the evidence of the case. I don't care and haven't cared how long Hardy will be suspended, but he was found guilty in a bench trial and his trial by jury never occurred. It's a weird situation.

7. I think the coolest part of the design for the prospective new Inglewood, Calif., stadium planned by Rams owner Stan Kroenke is the roof. According to the Los Angeles Times’ Sam Farmer, the roof will be 275 feet above the field, and it will be transparent, and it will allow breezes to flow through the stadium. It doesn’t sound like Kroenke wants a second team to share the site with him (though, as Farmer reports, the design does allow for it), and it certainly doesn’t sound like he wants to keep the Rams in St. Louis.

Poor Rams fans. I feel for them. They are stuck with Jeff Fisher and now the team will get serious about winning just as they are leaving town.

9. I think this could well surpass the $7 million guaranteed to Dwayne Harris (Who?) by the New York Giants on the Teams Do The Damndest Things In Free Agency Dept.: Charles Clay will make $24.2 million in his first two seasons playing tight end for the Buffalo Bills. Not bad for a guy with three touchdowns in Miami last year—and who averaged 4.1 receptions a game.

Wow, Peter is really using information from Clay's injury-filled 2014 season. Clay was injured pretty much the entire 2014 season. He had six touchdowns during the 2013 season, including 759 yards. Sure, he only averaged 4.3 receptions per game, but Jimmy Graham has averaged 4.9 receptions per game during his career, including 5.3 receptions per game last season. Compare the money Graham received to what Clay received knowing Graham averaged one more reception per game, if Peter really wants to play that game. So is Jimmy Graham overpaid based on his receptions per game? Remember, Graham had Drew Brees throwing him the ball, while Clay had Ryan Tannehill. Tony Gonzalez only averaged 4.9 receptions per game for his career, so I really think Peter is barking up the wrong tree in trying to point out how Charles Clay won't live up to his contract.

Did Peter do any research before simply regurgitating that 4.1 receptions per game statistic? Clay is making a lot of money his first two seasons in Buffalo, but he's also a pretty good tight end when he's healthy. And 4.1 receptions per game would have put Clay as the tight end with the 7th most receptions in the NFL last year if he had played a full 16 games.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

c. Wisconsin over Iowa State for the national title. What a basketball savant!

Peter has a fetish for college basketball teams from the Midwest it seems.

e. Uggla will make $13 million from the Braves this year. Part of an old guaranteed contract. (As every veteran in the NFL vomits while thinking, Why not us?)

Trust me, Braves fans have been vomiting for four seasons now. This year will be the last year of vomit-inducing thoughts about Dan Uggla.

f. Great cross-country writing music: “Songs of Innocence,” the most recent effort by U2. “Song For Someone” is the hidden gem of the album.

There is nothing hidden about U2 and there is even less "hidden" about an album that was automatically downloaded on to millions of people's iPhones. Literally everyone with an iPhone got a chance to hear this song if they would like. That goes against the idea anything regarding "Songs of Innocence" is hidden.

h. Coffeenerdness: illy espresso is underrated. Very smooth and strong.

It's the "Song For Someone" of espressos.

k. My Ohio U. Bobcats were taken out of the NCAA women’s tournament by Arizona State on Saturday. A couple of familiar names on the Sun Devils: senior guard Promise Amukamara and junior guard Peace Amukamara. Sisters of Prince, of course.

l. Curious if the other three Amukamara sisters—Precious, Passionate and Princess—were at the game.

I'm curious if you can stop commenting on the names of Prince Amukamara's sisters as if they are so hilarious because they don't fit into your WASP-y view of what a person's name should be.

The Adieu Haiku

March Madness. Fun times.  
NFL playoffs fun too.
But can’t match Madness.


Why? Why still have this haiku? You know what isn't underrated? Using a haiku in a football column. It's overrated. It's the U2 of gimmicks that are used in weekly football columns. 

Friday, January 30, 2015

2 comments Marcus Hayes Is Not Happy Marshawn Lynch Isn't Helping Reporters Gather Quotes; Lectures Him on Responsibility

Marshawn Lynch caused a firestorm by showing up at Media Day (it's capitalized because it's super-important and should be treated that way, except when the media who shows up don't treat it that way) and repeating the same answer "I'm just here so I won't get fined" almost 30 times. I personally would just answer the questions that the media has for me if I were Lynch, but I'm not Marshawn Lynch and no one is asking me questions. Lynch is putting himself in the NFL's Draconian spotlight by not answering questions and playing along. It's not a big deal, so I think he should just answer the questions. But of course, it's not a big deal, so who really gives a shit if Marshawn Lynch doesn't have much to say or doesn't want to say anything? I think reporters care more than fans do about canned quotes that can take up space in a column. If reporters are still relying on these canned quotes and think the fans really care about them so much that it's worth getting worked up when a star player won't talk, then I'm guessing that reporter isn't serving the needs of his readership as he should. That doesn't stop Marcus Hayes from accusing Lynch of making a mockery of Media Day (capitalized!). See, he thinks Lynch is shirking his responsibility to provide reporters who show up to Media Day with quotes so they can write stories. Lynch should work harder and show some responsibility so reporters who show up to Media Day don't have to work as hard to write the articles they publish about the Super Bowl.

What irks me is that Marcus lectures Lynch on duty and responsibility, as if he's skipping out on practice or going AWOL when serving in the military. Lynch is ANSWERING QUESTIONS. THAT'S ALL HE'S FUCKING DOING! This isn't a life or death situation where Lynch is not showing duty or responsibility. Let's keep the perspective that Marcus Hayes doesn't have about the "duty" that Lynch is shirking. I would bet fans don't care if Lynch answers questions or not. Fans aren't best served by getting canned quotes from players and it's a fallacy that fans will be pissed Marshawn Lynch isn't serving up cliches on Media Day. The only ones who care are the ones who accuse Lynch of having a duty to talk to them. Yeah, talking on Media Day is part of the deal, but it's not that important.

This is the same Marcus Hayes with the man crush on Pat Burrell, who also does not enjoy chatting about Chase Utley.

Marshawn Lynch literally grabbed his crotch to express contempt for the assembled throng of 200 media members as he made his way to his podium at the start of Media Day.

Not figuratively, but literally. It was literally the worst thing that Marcus Hayes has ever seen. 

For the next 5 minutes or so, Lynch figuratively grabbed his crotch to express contempt for the NFL and its commissioner, Roger Goodell.

Lynch was required to be there in front of the media and he did his job. That was his duty and he did it. The NFL can't (and shouldn't) legislate what players say or don't say to the media on Media Day (capitalized!). NFL players are not children who need to be reminded to sit up straight and give a good answer. If a player isn't going to give interesting answers, most of the media will move on to other players. But not Marcus Hayes. He wants Marshawn Lynch to sit up straight, answer the questions, say "yes sir" and do his job of helping the media do their job. 

He was fined $100,000 in the past year for his lack of cooperation with the press, including a debacle at last year's Media Day. One report contended that the NFL threatened Lynch with a $500,000 fine if he acted similarly here.

Well, he acted similarly yesterday.

I disagree with Gregg Easterbrook on a lot of things, but the one area he makes sense when discussing (most of the time he makes sense in this area) is talking about how the NFL doesn't have to be popular. If the NFL wants to turn off fans quickly, start treating the players like they are children and becoming heavy-handed. Marcus Hayes is advocating this heavy-handed approach. Media Day is a joke. It's not to be taken seriously. It's a day where the players joke around and talk to the media before the Super Bowl. It's not 1975. If I want to read a quote from an athlete then there are plenty of places I can find a quote from that athlete. Players are communicating to fans directly through Twitter and fans are getting better coverage of their teams through independent web sites that cover these NFL teams. If Marshawn Lynch doesn't give a quote, who cares? There are 105 other players the media can talk to on Media Day. 

Lynch stayed on the podium for just under 5 minutes, the minimum required of him.
Or as someone who is less concerned with indicting Lynch for his every action might see, Lynch did exactly what was asked of him by the NFL. He showed up for five minutes. He did his duty and met his responsibility. 

He repeatedly droned, "I'm just here so I won't get fined," a phrase that trended on Twitter 1 minute after Lynch left the podium. He saluted himself on the big screen in the middle of the US Airways Center. Ever self-serving, Lynch was thrown a bag of Skittles candy, with whom he has an endorsement deal.

Marcus Hayes is bitching that Marshawn Lynch didn't make it easy for him to do his job and brings Lynch's lack of cooperation back to who he is as a person, but it's Lynch who is self-serving by publicizing a brand that pays him to publicize their name. For someone who Hayes will suggest lacks responsibility and a sense of duty, Lynch sure is meeting his responsibility and duty to Skittles.

With more than 57 minutes left in Media Day, Beast Mode entered Airplane Mode and ended all transmissions.

He was required to meet with the media for five minutes and he did that. So he didn't answer the media's questions like they wanted him to. He's a grown man. If the media doesn't find him interesting enough, move on, don't indicate that he lacks character or is a bad person. 

Media Day at the Super Bowl, an hourlong availability of essentially everyone of merit in both organizations held every Tuesday of Super Bowl week, seldom elicits any real information about players or their teams; but then, most interviews with NFL types elicit little information.

So what's the fucking problem? Marcus Hayes admits there is no real information elicited from the players or teams, then says most interviews don't elicit much information anyway. So what is Lynch doing that is so wrong? He's not withholding information, because Hayes doesn't expect much information. Lynch is doing what the NFL is telling him to do, so he's not violating their precious five minute rule on Media Day. What Lynch is doing wrong is not doing more than what the NFL wants him to do. He's at the podium answering questions, but not in the right way. Lynch is being insubordinate by not playing the game that the NFL wants him to play the game. Basically, Marcus Hayes is mad that Lynch isn't doing exactly what the NFL tells him to do outside of the obligation he has already met. Seems kind of Draconian to me.

The NFL has credentialed entertainment reporters and fostered a circus atmosphere, a circus the NFL now charges fans $28.50 to witness.

And of course within this circus atmosphere where the players are asked questions by people dressed up in costumes, these players must answer the questions in complete and compound sentences. Perhaps the players should talk at length when asked a question by a media member dressed up like a cartoon character. Because the event may be a circus, but the NFL wants Media Day treated like the holiest of football days and Marcus Hayes is toeing that NFL line for them. 

The availability has devolved to include guys who wear barrels over their bare torsos; Olympic skaters Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski asking fashion questions for NBC; and beautiful women in short skirts who salsa dance with Kam Chancellor.

Media Day is not to be taken so seriously as it is being taken by Marcus Hayes. It's fine for Lynch to be asked fashion questions by Olympic skaters, because the media doesn't have to take their holy day seriously, but Marshawn Lynch can't give non-answers to questions because that makes a mockery of the day set aside for the media to finally ask the questions they can ask every other day of the year to Marshawn Lynch. Marshawn Lynch isn't allowed to make a mockery of Media Day. Only the media can mock their day. 

But, be it cramped and hot and inelegant, Media Day serves its purpose.
If you need to speak with the kicker or the punter or the special-teams ace, you get that done at Media Day.

If your paper or website or station cannot afford to send you to the Super Bowl site for the entire week, you get all of your interviews done on Media Day.

Did Marcus Hayes really expect or want a quote from Marshawn Lynch? Does he think reporters are going back to their hotel rooms or the bar violently angry that Marshawn Lynch gave non-answers to questions and they only had 105 other players to talk to? Marshawn Lynch isn't a punter, kicker or special teams ace. He's been in front of the camera a lot in his career. 

Every player is contractually obligated to participate at Media Day.

Every player also is contractually obligated to interact with the press after games and during weeks of game preparation.

Lynch did both. He didn't do both to the satisfaction of Marcus Hayes, but he met his contractual obligation to participate in Media Day and interact with the press. In fact, I think most people will remember Lynch's interactions more than they will remember canned quotes from the other players participating in the Super Bowl. 

Patriots coach Bill Belichick, a master at gamesmanship and himself a reticent and often demeaning interview, yesterday fired this shot across the bow of SS Beast Mode:

"That's our role - to be the conduit between our team and all the fans - all of you that cover the team and the fans that read or watch or listen. That's an important part of the process," said Belichick, who lived and died on football news as a kid. "Having been on the other side of this . . . that's what I wanted. I wanted information. I wanted to hear what's going on. We provide the fans who are so interested in our team with information that makes it interesting and exciting for them. That's why we're all here."

This is simply laughable. You know the media is reaching to indict Marshawn Lynch when they start using Bill Belichick as the example of someone who understands how coaches and players are the conduit to the fans. Belichick rarely gives any relevant information in his weekly press conferences and repeated "We're on to Cincinnati" many times in a press conference earlier this year, which apparently qualified as doing his duty to meet with the media and give out important information as a conduit to the fans. But yeah, a Belichick quote talking about how information from coaches and players is important for the fans. Sure. Pot meet kettle.

And Belichick is wrong, which means Marcus Hayes is wrong. Belichick as a kid wanted information on players and now information like that is readily available through multiple web sites, blogs and online newspapers. No one needs Media Day to hear about what Jon Ryan has to say. They can follow him on Twitter. DeAngelo Williams of the Panthers did not speak to the media this year really. I barely noticed because he's on Twitter and communicated with fans that way. It's 2015. I don't need the media to get quotes from players as much anymore because there is a ton of information out there. 

That's why Lynch should be fined again; fined, at least.

If he is allowed to act this way, nothing would prevent other players - all players - from acting this way.

This is hilarious. "If Lynch is allowed to not speak with the media then every other player who doesn't like dealing with the media will not speak with us! Where will our stories and quotes come from?" 

If Marcus Hayes is concerned other players wouldn't speak with the media if allowed to do so, then maybe the problem lies not with the players being asked the questions, but with those people asking the questions. If Hayes is really concerned other players don't want to talk to the media, the issue for WHY they don't want to talk the media could lie with the media. Of course that's silly talk. A player's reluctance to speak with the media says nothing about the media and speaks only to the character of that athlete. 

Teammate Richard Sherman's contention that Lynch should be interviewed by a handpicked pool reporter is a typically Shermanian, unsophisticated solution: The best interviews grow organically, in the moment. Sherman, perhaps the best interview in the NFL, should know that.

Yeah, but little information is learned at Media Day anyway, right? Marcus Hayes said that himself. Lynch had a good interview with Mike Silver recently. It was a handpicked reporter and it was a good interview. Media Day isn't the time for an "organic" interview with the circus surrounding the whole event. Marcus Hayes knows that, but he's just trying to be difficult and act like Marshawn Lynch blew a chance for a probing, deep interview when this isn't true at all. 

Every player in the league who believes Lynch should not be fined should contribute his own money to his next fine.

Or maybe every journalist who wants Marshawn Lynch to do an interview should contribute his own money for Lynch to do an interview with the handpicked reporter of his choice. 

Lynch is loyal in the locker room and ferocious on the field, fully worthy of his "Beast Mode" nickname.

Also, consider their general profile: These largely are very young men whose talent has afforded them shelter and structure most of their lives.

This is as opposed to the reporters asking the questions who have lived a hard knock life of press box food and sitting down and writing at a computer for a living. 

I would bet many of these football players didn't have shelter and structure for most of their lives until they got to college. You can read in this story about all the shelter and structure Lynch grew up with. A father he didn't really know AND he got to move around with his three siblings multiple times? What a spoiled brat!

They are people for whom "hard work" equates to lifting weights and running sprints; for whom "commitment" means adhering to a loose daily schedule that tells them when to wake, when to eat, when to think; for whom "adversity" means being .500 midway through a season and somehow making the playoffs.

And this is as opposed to sportswriters like Marcus Hayes for whom "hard work" equates to sitting at a computer and meeting a deadline; for whom "commitment" means leaving enough time to eat breakfast and play some golf before making it to the 12pm weekly briefing with Chip Kelly; for whom "adversity" means having writer's block. Marshawn Lynch is a world-class athlete, so yeah, I would imagine mocking him for hard work, commitment, and overcoming adversity seems a bit funny coming from a sportswriter like Marcus Hayes. Marcus may need to find a mirror to see what kind of hard work and commitment he has made compared to a professional athlete, because I'm betting Marshawn Lynch has achieved something through hard work and commitment that few other people can ever achieve simply by playing in the NFL.

They know little of the real world and its gravity.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Marcus Hayes is obviously coming from the rough streets, unlike these pampered football players. A sportswriter lecturing professional athletes on the real world and the gravity of the real world requires no punchline. The lecture in itself is the punchline. 

Despite their existence in a universe parallel to most people's, they at least should understand the weight of obligation.

Lynch met his obligation. He met with the media for the required amount of time. It's still funny to read Marcus Hayes talk about the weight of obligations as if Lynch and other NFL players just always do whatever the hell they want. Meanwhile, as Marcus Hayes takes a paid vacation in Arizona, Lynch and his teammates are preparing night and day for one of the biggest games of their lives. Hayes' obligation is to not eat too much food off the hotel buffet in an effort to not feel bloated prior to his round of golf, which he must get finished before writing a daily column. Marcus Hayes KNOWS the weight of obligation. That golf swing isn't going to fix itself. 

Lynch's boycott of the press is no different from boycotting a meeting, a practice or a game.

It's entirely different. A meeting, practice or game is directly part of Lynch's job, which affects his teammates and their chances of winning a football game. Lynch not speaking at Media Day is part of his ancillary responsibilities which has ZERO effect on the Seahawks' ability to win the Super Bowl. This is how self-involved and little knowledge of the real world Marcus Hayes has. He's not doing brain surgery. He's taking words someone else says, writing them down and then telling everyone else what that person said. If an athlete doesn't want to speak meaningful words, few people care. 

What if he mailed it in at the Super Bowl the way he mailed it in on Media Day?

But he won't because he never has before. This is a ridiculous hypothetical because there's no comparison between a player boycotting the media and that player's performance in the Super Bowl, no matter how hard Marcus Hayes wants to try and tie them together in an effort to give himself and his job more importance. The way he's written this column shows Hayes has no understanding of the real world and its gravity. If he did, he wouldn't act like Marshawn Lynch committed a heinous crime.

He is contractually obligated to be present at both, to perform professionally at each.

It is part of his job, part of his duty.

And he did his duty on both. Maybe he didn't do his duty as Marcus Hayes saw fit, but that doesn't matter. Lynch was there and stayed in front of the media for five minutes. Instead of asking him questions you know he won't answer, maybe find another player to spend time with? Or is that too easy and wouldn't involve a sufficient amount of grandstanding? 

Duty should not be served. It is part of being a professional. It's part of being an adult.

Marshawn Lynch is neither.

Whatever. It's also not professional or adult to expect another adult to bow to your every whim simply because you want a juicy quote. 

As expected, his antics stole the spotlight from other, less distasteful distractions.

Why is Marcus Hayes acting like the media HAS to talk to Marshawn Lynch? If you don't like his answers, go interview someone else. Maybe the punter, kicker or a special teams player. Speaking of duty and obligations, doesn't Marcus Hayes have a duty and obligation to find interesting stories to write about? He's shirking that responsibility by insisting on spending five minutes with a player who will provide him with neither. So yeah, duty and responsibility...how about showing some duty and responsibility and finding another more interesting player to talk to, rather than antagonize a player who has nothing to say? 

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski created a stir by reading aloud from an erotic novel that starred a fictional version of himself. The erotica was poorly done and, really, coincidental.

The news was that Gronk can read.

Gosh, I can't figure out why Marshawn Lynch doesn't want to talk to the media. Why would that be when they are so kind as to call one of the athletes they are interviewing an illiterate? 

Spritely divas Lipinski and Weir, former Olympic skaters working the fashion angle for NBC, showed up in fabulous outfits. He had on a scarlet jacket over a silk shirt with a gemstone necklace, crammed his feet into 4-inch wedge booties and wore more makeup than she did.

The biggest diva in Phoenix was Marshawn Lynch, and the worst sort of diva:

I see what you did there Marcus. Though I would argue the real diva behavior is to expect a professional athlete to bow to your every whim and answer every question you have in the very manner that you expect it to be answered, and even though there are multiple other athletes you could choose to speak to, you throw a hissy-fit questioning the character of the athlete for not doing exactly as you say or want. That's real diva behavior.

He contends he wants no attention beyond the game-day adulation of his fans . . . then arrives for Media Day in sunglasses, a special (and possibly unsanctioned) Beast Mode hat.
 
So Marcus Hayes criticizes Marshawn Lynch for even doing his contractual duty of showing up for Media Day and answering questions for five minutes, immediately after claiming Lynch should have stayed longer and answered the questions while putting on a bigger show for the media. So if Lynch doesn't show up because he doesn't want attention, he's going to get fined. If he does show up then he's grabbing for attention by arriving in sunglasses and a hat. So either way he goes, he's going to be criticized. So why should I blame him for not speaking to the media again? 

Within an hour, the hat was available online for $33, touted as the one Lynch wore during Media Day.

It was the height of hypocrisy. Lynch was afforded a priceless, 5-minute ad for Skittles and New Era caps.

The height of hypocrisy is criticizing an athlete for not upholding his duty and responsibility when that athlete is getting publicity for a product he is paid to endorse, as well as wearing and getting publicity for the official hat of the NFL. How dare Marshawn Lynch use his five minutes at the podium to sell his sponsors' products when Marcus Hayes wants to use those five minutes to help his company sell his products! Such hypocrisy!

Both are corporate partners with the NFL.

Maybe the league should just call it even.

So Marcus Hayes is going to criticize Marshawn Lynch for meeting the NFL-mandated obligation to meet with the media, while claiming Lynch isn't meeting his duty and obligations. Then Hayes is going to criticize Lynch for meeting his duty and obligations as the employee of an NFL team by advertising for NFL corporate partners. I think I can see why Lynch hates the media. 

But no, really, it's hilarious to hear a sportswriter lecture a professional athlete about commitment, hard work and dealing with adversity. I can't seem to figure out why newspapers are dying...

Monday, August 4, 2014

5 comments Buzz Bissinger Does a Bizarre Second-Hand Story In-Depth Profile of Nick Foles; Wants Foles to Be Less Boring Apparently

Philadelphia Magazine commissioned Buzz Bissinger to do an in-depth profile on Nick Foles. It turns out Buzz did this in-depth profile about Foles, his childhood and his experiences in the NFL without talking to Foles' parents nor Nick Foles himself. I'm not exactly sure how this works, but it seems hard to do an in-depth profile without access to three major players that can give the story depth. Obviously an in-depth profile can be done without access to the subject, but without access to the subject's immediate family and rely entirely on those who knew Foles in high school? Not college, high school. Sort of seems like this was a project better left uncompleted. Who better to give Nick Foles' story depth than he and his family? Still, Buzz pushed on and continued the story. Why did Buzz Bissinger write this story? "Friday Night Lights" of course. "Friday Night Lights" is a book based in Texas and Nick Foles is from Texas. Buzz is like that one-hit wonder band that goes up on stage in a club and talks about the one hit they had and how it opened so many doors, despite the fact the band is onstage in a club playing to 200 people at the current time. Anyway, here are my favorite parts of this in-depth profile of Nick Foles...an in-depth profile written without the whole "depth" thing that seems so crucial. Bissinger pays in kind and tries to provide as little depth in his analysis of Foles as a person and football player.

In a school of remarkable achievement and affluence, Nick Foles perfectly fit the Westlake socioeconomic profile and was its BMOC. He was the quarterback of its football team, the Chaparrals, on their way to the Texas state championship game in the highest 5-A classification. He was equally gifted in basketball; he’d started as a freshman. His girlfriend, Lauren Farmer, was a standout cheerleader and homecoming queen.

By the way, most of this profile could be summed up by simply having Buzz Bissinger write, "Nick Foles isn't like most other quarterbacks in the NFL who grew up as the star of his football team. He's not flashy, doesn't enjoy the spotlight and comes off as boring."

If Buzz did this then it would sum up about 1000 words into just one sentence. Also, a lot of this reads as, "This one guy who played football in high school with Foles said..."

But Foles pawed around the edges. The only middle he was interested in was a football huddle, 

(groans in pain at this last half-sentence)

and even there, he led by the example of his toughness and arm, which gave receivers chest bruises.

Apparently the chest pads in Texas are really shitty.

The truth was, Nick Foles was something of a nerd, a guy who hung around with a small posse of mostly non-football nerds — eggheads, kids who would go on to careers in finance and private equity and engineering.

I find it interesting that someone who goes into engineering, private equity and finance would be called a "nerd" by Buzz. So does Buzz consider a nerd to be someone who doesn't play sports? Otherwise, a person can go into finance and not really be a nerd. It's clear Buzz doesn't know too many people in these professions or he would realize these aren't careers for eggheads or non-football nerds.

“Dude, come on, you’re the quarterback, go out and have some fun,” high-school teammate Matt Nader pleaded with him, fruitlessly.

I feel like quotes from high school teammates that Foles probably can't remember too well at this point really gives this story little depth. These aren't quotes from Foles' teammates who played with him in college, but played with him in high school. People change from high school to their mid-20's. Not that this should stop Buzz from just assuming Foles is the exact same now as he was in high school of course. This article has to be written, potential accuracy be damned. Buzz needs the cash.

He was the kid you wanted dating your daughter, because he would have her home at 9:30 after you said 10. He was socially awkward, with a naive and goofy sense of humor. He dressed as if he had never seen clothes before. His hair was oddly styled in an ersatz pageboy, curling below his ears like a drainage ditch and covering his forehead in uneven wisps, thin grime on a windshield. His face was a cup of Napoleon Dynamite and a tablespoon of golly-gee-willikers and a teaspoon of Gomer Pyle.

He was boring. Rinse, repeat a few times in this column. You get the point that Buzz keeps repeating.

He tried at school, and even took Latin.

What a nerd! Foles seems like such a nerd to Buzz that he's surprised Foles didn't try to have a career outside of sports like all the other nerds did.

During his senior spring-break trip to Mexico, while most everyone else spent the afternoon recovering from drinking, he jogged, because there was nothing for him to recover from. He threw a football around with a kid from the Austin area. When Nick asked the kid to name his favorite player, he said, “Nick Foles!” But the kid didn’t recognize that he was having a catch with the actual Nick Foles. And Nick Foles was too reticent to tell him.

One more time...this is early in this in-depth profile and Buzz is already restating what he's already said, just using a different example. It's that kind of article. Foles can be boring and non-flashy. We get it. It's not a character flaw.

But he is still quiet. He still leads by example. He still plays video games. He still wears the hair suit of humility. He still pathologically refuses to do anything that draws attention to him. It’s admirable. Actually, it’s boring. It’s unrealistic and annoying now, self-subsumption as a form of conceit.

And of course Buzz knows this expert analysis of Foles as a person from the zero hours he spent with him in writing this story. But hey, a few guys Foles knew in high school and wanted to have their names in print agreed, so it must be true, right?

I asked Nick Foles for an interview for this story. My request was rejected. According to his agent, Justin Schulman, Foles doesn’t want to do anything at this point that highlights his success and not the team collectively. Uh, it’s a little late for that, son, given that you’re the hottest-rising quarterback in the NFL. You are the attention draw.

Yeah, Nick Foles. You have no right to pick and choose which interviews you are going to do. You are a star and are up for public consumption no matter whether you like it or not. Along with that, you have to do every single interview or else the author of that interview will take offense and do a hack-job based on second-hand sources who knew you almost a decade ago. Hey, you are the one that caused this mess by existing, so don't blame Buzz.

I was asked to do the story because of the enormous common bond that Foles and I share: Texas high-school football.

Yes, this enormous bond is based on the fact Buzz wrote a book one time about high school football in Texas, a book which came out LONG before Foles played football in Texas. If that's an enormous bond then I have an enormous bond with Jason Schmidt because one time I saw him in a mall in Atlanta. We were both shopping there.

He’s defined by it, and I memorialized it in the book Friday Night Lights. The request for his time went from a couple of days to a couple of hours anywhere in the country. This story isn’t about wrenching sensitive secrets. It’s obvious and legitimate.

This story is about being able to call Foles "boring" without actually spending time with Foles. After all, Buzz can write an article where a bunch of people who used to know Foles call him boring and the author calls Foles boring too despite never having spent time with him. It's lazy in a "I need to write this article and I'll be damned if anything will stop me, such as the information I have about the subject may not be entirely accurate" way.

Is he capable of leading the Eagles to the Super Bowl one day? Was the 2013 season aberrant? How will he handle the pressure? Fans need to try to figure out what ticks inside him to remotely know any of the answers.

This profile was crucial to the Eagles winning the Super Bowl this year. Congratulations Nick Foles, you have just cost your team the Super Bowl by not being interviewed by Buzz Bissinger. Your insistence on focusing on the team has now cost your team. Your fans don't understand you, so that means you can't win a Super Bowl.

Instead, what has emerged is a one-dimensional choirboy caricature reflective of a player and a team and a league terrified of individuality.

Seems fair. If a three-dimensional profile isn't possible, just print a one-dimensional profile. I mean, Buzz needs the money and Philadelphia Magazine wouldn't mind the publicity. It's not Buzz's fault this profile is one-dimensional, he was forced to write it rather than realize it is unfair to write a one-dimensional profile and not make cash as a result. Money over Foles.

Foles is selling himself, and being sold by the born-again Eagles, as the anti-DeSean: contrite, non-charismatic, cautious, churchgoing, Caucasian. The perfect poster boy for Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie and commissioner Roger Goodell’s vision of a new NFL theme park where players have no discernible personality and the Twitter account is laced with Glories to God.

If true, this is horrific. Athletes who are quiet and don't try to draw attention to themselves? It's the end of sports.

I don’t believe this is all there is to Nick Foles. I definitely don’t believe it after spending extensive time in Austin talking to teammates and coaches and parents in the roots of Texas and high-school football that so define him.

Buzz spent EXTENSIVE time in Austin talking to people who don't really know Foles all that well now. He could have spent 10 years in Austin and if he didn't talk to Foles or Foles' family then he's only getting second-hand information about Foles by only speaking with Foles' high school teammates.

TO KNOW NICK FOLES, you go back to the base.

Or you could interview him in order to know him. If that's not possible, then you don't really know Nick Foles.

Which means going to the community that encompasses Westlake High School. Its predominant zip code, 78746, is an Austin equivalent of Beverly Hills, 90210. Its population of some 27,000 is small and homogeneous and oppressively white...The median house value in 2011, $610,800, is roughly five times the Texas average. The median family income of $167,295 is almost three times the state norm. There are 82 families who own five or more vehicles, and 1,251 who live in homes with five or more bedrooms.

Buzz spent extensive time on Wikipedia finding these statistics.

Foles didn’t have a single black teammate when he played his senior season in 2006.

Nick Foles is racist like Riley Cooper! No wonder Cooper had such a great 2013 season, he had a fellow racist throwing him the football.

This says nothing about his or anyone else’s racial attitudes. It does say that Foles grew up in a bubble of entitlement and shockingly narrow social experience.

I guess it would be too much for Buzz to acknowledge Foles doesn't have a bubble of entitlement. That's not part of this profile. It's too neutral-y to fit into what Buzz has written.

A large number of students at Westlake are the sons and daughters of lawyers and doctors and high-tech capitalists and private equity managers and business executives.

It's a city of nerds.

No one will ever say that Nick Foles is snotty. But he is obviously white, 

Very observant of you, Buzz! Maybe you didn't need to actually interview Nick Foles to see what makes him tick. You obviously have insights into him like this one.

His high-school teammate Matt Nader tells me that the best way to assess the rising fortunes of the Foles family was by observing the improvements made to their house over the years.

Matt Nader also said, "You are going to use my name in this profile, right?"

Currently assessed at $1.5 million, it was hardly a rancher when the Foles family bought it in the late ’90s. But over the years, the basement was finished and a new garage was put in, according to Travis County appraisal records. Then came the uncovered deck and a first-floor porch almost the entire length of the house.

Buzz also spent extensive time at the Register of Deeds and the permits office researching this information. No matter what you think about Nick Foles, Buzz Bissinger has uncovered the secret of the Foles family increasing the value of their house, which was to constantly improve the curb appeal of it. Investigative reporting at it's best. So when did the Foles family plant new flowers in their garden? I wonder how this reflected their socio-economic standing through the years? Was it a two-car or three-car garage and did the family have a riding mower? HOW OFTEN WAS THE MOWER'S BLADE SHARPENED?

It was Larry, better than any coach or recruiter or pro scout, who knew how good Nick could be if he was pushed. So Larry pushed, perhaps because his whole life has been about pushing. He was the kind of parent who tried to make not only every practice at Westlake High, but also every junior-high practice.

It seems Buzz spent some time at the "Bill Simmons School of Unnecessary Italics."

Raised in Petal, Mississippi, Larry Foles had nothing growing up. He told hiladelphia Daily News Eagles beat reporter Les Bowen (Larry Foles and his wife, Melissa, also declined to be interviewed for this story) that his parents split when he was 13, prompting him to drop out of high school and move to Oregon in the early ’60s to work manual labor for 90 cents an hour. He returned to Mississippi and became the general manger of a Shoney’s.

Is the Hiladelphia Daily News a cheap knock-off of the Philadelphia Daily News? Apparently Buzz was so busy researching land records and interviewing that a friend of Foles' father he didn't have time to write a "P." There's only so much extensive work Buzz can do. Something has to suffer.

When Nick signed a letter of intent with Arizona State University before his senior season, it was Larry who made initial contact with the school, as opposed to the other way around. When Nick decommitted from Arizona State and went to Michigan State University in 2007, Larry got an apartment in East Lansing. When Nick was deciding whether to leave Michigan State after a year, it was Larry who became his spokesman.

In an age where "family friends" and "advisors" help a college athlete make decisions, it's not so bad that Larry Foles helped make decisions for his son is it?

Hager did manage to corrupt Foles just a bit, late in their senior year: Foles conducted an ultimately losing battle with cognac and vermouth and ended up facedown on the carpet, mumbling incoherently to his girlfriend on his cellphone.

It seems doubtful it has happened since.
 
Which is a shame.

I would have absolutely no idea why this is a shame. Nick Foles chooses not to drink. It's his decision. Whether he drinks or not has no bearing on his ability as a quarterback. Fail by Bissinger.

THE GREATEST ATHLETES all have arrogance; no matter how thick the playbook of humility, it still seeps through

Really? Tim Duncan. Derek Jeter. Tony Gwynn. I can go on.

You can see it and you can feel it. Except with Foles.

This is a lie, right? Buzz didn't see or feel it with Foles, mostly because he didn't interview him at all for this profile.

Michael Vick is a great guy. It was an extraordinary team effort. The offensive line deserves all the credit.
 
Give it a little bit of a rest, kid.

Yeah, stop being unselfish so Buzz has a more interesting article to write. It's your obligation as an NFL star to give Buzz something interesting to write about.

But there’s still an aura of softness about him, no fire. Maybe it’s the hee-haw face. Maybe it’s the stream of selfless platitudes about others. Maybe it’s that at 25, he’s still very much a boy among men with the Eagles, with no interest in the extracurricular world of clubbing.

There's something wrong with Nick Foles because he doesn't meet Buzz Bissinger's idea of what a great quarterback should be. The problem with Foles is he can't meet Buzz's expectations. Based on Buzz's extensive research, this is a problem with Foles and not with Buzz himself.

Or maybe it’s the reality that if he fails in football, he has the likely cushion of going into an enormously successful family business. It’s the intangible hunger factor that appears to be missing.

From earlier in this article:

His son has inherited his relentless work ethic; during June and July, when Westlake players work out on their own, it isn’t unusual for them to hit the weight room. Teammates watched agape as Nick Foles toiled in an hours-long regimen of throwing and running in the lugubrious Texas heat.

Nobody can deny Nick Foles’s toughness, at six-foot-five and 240 pounds. He played the last 12 games of his senior year at Westlake High with a torn labrum in his throwing shoulder without telling anyone or complaining about the pain.

Yeah Buzz, about that...

I'm sure Foles has worked his whole life as a quarterback not caring whether he actually made it or not to the NFL, because there's always the option of going into a different business. I'm sure that's a logical conclusion to be made here.

Teammates remember him being hurt a lot of the time. “What’s the deal with Foles?” was the sentiment of wide receiver Staton Jobe. “Is he going to be injured his whole career?”

Well yeah, because he's soft.

Foles broke the career passing-yardage record at Westlake held by Drew Brees, throwing for 5,658 yards. But he wasn’t a hot recruit. The rap was that he was too slow, a system quarterback in a school that has produced nine quarterbacks who have gone on to play that position in college football since 1992 — at best, he was a backup.

So it absolutely makes sense that Arizona State recruited him and then he ended up at Michigan State. Who has ever heard of those schools?

Duke made an offer, which back then was slightly better than being chosen last in a pickup game. Texas El Paso sought him out, which was the Gulag. The major Texas schools weren’t interested.

What an embarrassment to only have two D-1 schools interested in you. Who would want to play at a D-1 school? Interesting how these two schools were the only ones interested in Foles, except he ended up at Arizona State magically.

Signing with Arizona State became a mess when the coach who wanted him, Dirk Koetter, was fired and replaced by Dennis Erickson, who in turn was so impressed by Foles that he went out and recruited another quarterback.

I love how Buzz writes, "...he wasn't a hot recruit" and then it's like, "Well, after he ended up at Arizona State..." I am under the impression Arizona State is a pretty good school for football.

Also, college coaches recruit multiple quarterbacks in one recruiting class all the time. This isn't college basketball where a player can be recruited over in his own class. It's completely conceivable that Dennis Erickson loved Foles, but he wanted to recruit another quarterback for that class. This happens very, very frequently.

After walking away from Arizona State, Foles signed late in the recruiting season with Michigan State. He got into the first game of the season in 2007, and that was all.

Foles continued his trend over loserdom by appearing in a game as a freshmen, which obviously happens all the time.

He was competing with Kirk Cousins (a redshirt) and Brian Hoyer, both future pros.

Using Bissinger logic, the fact Michigan State signed Foles meant they didn't think highly of Kirk Cousins. I think you can see how stupid this logic is.

Foles transferred to Arizona. He battled with Matt Scott for the starting job and lost it, until Scott played poorly and Foles got his chance. The team went to two consecutive bowl games under Foles, in 2009 and 2010. His senior year was a team disaster. He put up great numbers, throwing for 4,334 yards and 28 touchdowns. But Arizona won only four games.

Mostly due to Foles' lack of toughness and the fact he always had the fallback of working for his dad...obviously.

The newest rap was that Foles had played in a gimmicky offense with few sophisticated reads. But he was named to the Senior Bowl and, in his typical pattern, was so lackluster in practices that several draft experts showered praise instead on Brandon Weeden.

This is the same Brandon Weeden that was drafted in the first round. I feel like this deserves a mention since Buzz seems to indicate draft experts showering praise on Weeden was unusual or indicative of Foles being terrible.

Foles then played, with the best performance of any quarterback, and was thought to be a possible first-round pick. Then he made the single worst mistake of his career. He entered the NFL combine.

Among quarterbacks entering the draft in 2012, Robert Griffin III ran the 40-yard dash in 4.41, Russell Wilson in 4.55, Andrew Luck in 4.67 and Ryan Tannehill in 4.62. Foles’s time was 5.14 seconds — the worst of the quarterbacks who entered. Pro Football Weekly called him a “lumbering pocket passer” who gets “panicked in the pocket” and said he “is consistently off the mark” and “is not an inspiring field general,” on a par with former fifth-round pick John Skelton of the Arizona Cardinals.

This analysis of Foles also mentioned he may need time to adjust to the NFL game, which turned out to be true. This of course doesn't help push the narrative Buzz wants pushed so it gets left out.

Foles still doesn’t inspire full faith among fans. He shouldn’t. One-year wonders in professional sports form an endless chain. He was unknown last year, and the unknown is often a player’s best asset until it becomes known.

Of course on the flip side of this, Buzz criticized Foles not giving his time for an interview by stating,

Uh, it’s a little late for that, son, given that you’re the hottest-rising quarterback in the NFL. You are the attention draw.

So Buzz seems to be confused as to whether Foles is an unknown and should be doubted or he is the hottest rising quarterback in the NFL. I guess it can be both, but it's interesting how Foles becomes a potential one year wonder when Buzz isn't arguing about Foles' obligation to do this interview.

When Chip Kelly talks about Foles as the franchise quarterback, it always feels like he’s lying, because he’s both good at it and a smug wiseass.

I don't think Kelly should be worshiped in some circles like he is, but I think this is a bit judgmental.

Foles isn’t a pressure quarterback. He lost the state championship in high school, lost both of his bowl games, and looked confused in the second half of the loss to the New Orleans Saints in last year’s playoffs.

And of course it's all Foles' fault his team lost these games. 

In 17 pro starts, he’s thrown only one game-winning touchdown pass in the fourth quarter or overtime. (Compare that to Andrew Luck, who threw six in his first two seasons.) Sometimes he just flings it up there in the hope that someone is around to catch it, although without DeSean Jackson, that’s become far less likely. The Eagles also played a weak schedule last year.

Along with the in-depth profile of Foles, we get this in-depth analysis of Foles from Buzz. I wonder how many times Foles has had the opportunity to throw a game-winning touchdown pass in the NFL? Not that his ability to throw a game-winning touchdown pass should matter in a dick-measuring contest completely reliant on opportunities to throw a game-winning touchdown pass of course.

A&M scored early in the game to take a 7-0 lead. Westlake came back with a 16-play drive that consumed roughly seven minutes. As Paul Nader and Barbara Bergin — he a nephrologist, she an orthopedic surgeon — 

Both nerds in the mind of Buzz Bissinger.

Foles and Nader came off the field. Nader went to the bench with the other offensive linemen. Offensive line coach Steve Ramsey came over to critique what had gone right and what had gone wrong during the drive. An ice towel was placed on the back of Nader’s neck. He suddenly fell and landed on his back with his cleats still propped up on the bench. It was so bizarre that Hager thought he was joking and told him to get the fuck up.

Larry and Melissa Foles were there. They watched, like their son. A whisper shuddered through the sidelines that Matt Nader was dead.
By some miracle, Westlake carried an automated external defibrillator to games. There was no state requirement at the time to have it on the field; it had been given as a gift. It had never been used — another piece of equipment lugged around by the trainers. But it was charged and ready to go.

There came a pulse.

He came to consciousness. An hour later at the hospital, there was nothing wrong with Nader. He was fully alert. It all seemed so freakish and unreal. Except that he would never play another down of football. He had gone through ventricular fibrillation, a condition in which the heart stops pumping blood. While there was no certainty it would happen again, the risk was too great.

I'm really glad Matt Nader is okay, but this story doesn't serve a purpose other than to reinforce what was already known about Nick Foles. He's a nice guy and treats others kindly. This is the sort of story that gets told to Buzz Bissinger through his interview process and he knows he needs it somewhere in the story, so he shoehorns it in wherever possible as tangentially related to Nick Foles.

So maybe Nick Foles doesn’t have the edge of Peyton Manning. Or the come-from-behind fearlessness of Tom Brady. Or the gravitas of Drew Brees. Or the feet of Russell Wilson, or Colin Kaepernick, or …

He carries with him the fragility embedded into everything. The dividing line you never know. 

And again, Buzz knows this by interviewing people who used to know Foles well in high school and not by actually having spent time with Foles. I know these sorts of profiles happen all the time, but in a situation where the author is imparting characteristics onto his subject he finds to be true, it usually helps to actually interview the subject as confirmation these characteristics are indeed true.

But unless he stops being chickenshit and goes into the middle, he will never guide the Eagles to the place that only tantalizes us.

Russell Wilson
Joe Flacco
Eli Manning
Brad Johnson
Peyton Manning
Mark Rypien
Trent Dilfer

I can go on, these are a short list of boring quarterbacks who won a Super Bowl. These are quarterbacks who won a Super Bowl without being flashy or trying to gain the spotlight from his teammates. It's not an all-inclusive list. Basically, I have no fucking idea what Buzz Bissinger is talking about.

We are tired, Nick. We are already dependent on you. So man up to be the man.

So as soon as Foles puts himself before the team then the Eagles can win a Super Bowl? Unfortunately history has shown this assertion to be incorrect.

Sidle up to a bar on the road and order a slug of single malt, not a double shot of milk. It’s okay to address LeSean McCoy as “Shady” instead of “Sir Shady.” Don’t ever publicly say again that your favorite movie is The Lion King.

If there were a list of "Non-relevant items as to whether Nick Foles will ever win a Super Bowl" these three items would lead the list.

Acolytes get to heaven. Strut gets you to the Super Bowl.

As seen by the list above, this is absolutely untrue. Strut doesn't get you to the Super Bowl. Playing the quarterback position well does get you to the Super Bowl and Nick Foles played the quarterback position well last year. Maybe next time when ascribing personal characteristics to a subject during an in-depth profile it would help to talk to that subject or his parents. You know, it seems less bullshitty and a little bit more like any negative comments aren't only made out of frustration the subject wouldn't grant you an interview.